I Am Not Spartacus - Spartacus Roasting on an Open Fire
by Dan's Comments
Based in the 'Your Human and You' universe by MadMaxtheBlack
This story is NOT canon with Your Human and You

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

Luna knew why her quarters had been chosen for this meeting. Fewer eyes to spy, and fewer mouths to inform. Since she had been the cause of his imprisonment, she still felt more guilt than outrage at the breech of her privacy.

She could feel his restive nature, and a few glances to 'Tia confirmed they knew how agitated he was. The revelation of the ancient ponies' treatment of the humans had horrified her. That he had impassively watched it genuinely frightened her.

Only one thing in nature could contain such titanic forces with little evidence of the terrible roiling within, a volcano. The failure of the yards and miles of stone restraining the captive forces were the most destructive displays in Equestria. Easily dwarfing the battles of Celestia and Nightmare Moon.

There is naught but to lance the boil, she thought, And consider that the pus might stain the carpet later.

She took a breath and moved forward. "We all know thou canst speak and reason, as well as a pony." She braced for the explosion she knew was coming. "Mayhaps better than most."

His only response was a nod. The ponies exchanged worried glances, acknowledging that the explosion would be worse that expected.

No mere boil, but a carbuncle, Luna thought. She glanced at the others. 'Tia seemed to be encouraging her to continue. So she won't have to say anything. Armor and Pink looked like they wanted to cuddle him, not ask difficult questions.

Luna steeled herself and accepted her reputation for tactlessness was going to receive reinforcement. "Why didst thou not speak with them? Is not speech the mark of true sapience?" She grinned nervously at the others to support her foray. None came to her support.

Percy took a deep breath to steady himself at the initial flush of anger, considering his near implacable stoicism, Luna knew she had struck deep on a tender spot. "With all due respect your Highness," he said with the reverence and polish of a longtime member of court, "That is typical pony arrogance."

His tone and expression were as cold and biting as an arctic wind, "What makes you think I did not. And what makes Her Highness think they cared?" He smiled as any brown noser might after delivering a compliment.

Luna gave Celestia a worried look. The 'ponies kill humans always' is not a pretense of artlessness, he truly believes that. She gave Celestia a look to keep silent. In this I choose to be ignored, he will need to love someone, and Celestia needs to love and be loved more than I. I can deal better with a friend who lances my ego, or even dislikes me than can Celestia.

Celestia frowned at Luna's sacrifice, but did not gainsay it. All communicated with a flash of facial expressions and glances that the others do not penetrate.

Percy continued to grind out his tale. More pus from the wound that had been left to fester too long. "My captors had product to sell: slaves, for the pits. Anything that differed from that had to be pounded back into the right shape."

Luna watched his knuckles whiten, while his tone remained unchanged. A glare from Luna kept Cadence and Shining Armor from closing with him. Yes, it hurts, but let him get it out, she thought, It will be better for all in the long run.

"The idea that they might make far more money with a talking human didn't occur to them, and when I brought it up." The anger crested and broke, the next was barely a whisper, revealing that even in captivity, he had tried to give his captors what they truly wanted, "I was severely beaten for 'distracting' them."

'Tia flashed to near fury, seeing what Luna had. That Percy had already tried to help his captors, and himself, and the slavers had been more than just stupid, they had been mindlessly cruel. 'Tia realized she'd frightened both Cadence and Armor, so she reined in her rage. She ruffled her feathers to demonstrate her calm, and gestured for Percy to continue.

Little cracks and squeaks came from his hands as Percy delivered his tale in clearly enunciated whispers, as if he could only barely speak the unspeakable, so wanted to ensure a repeat was never necessary, "I was painstakingly educated by my initial captors, and one of my subsequent owners, about the proper behavior and decorum for humans among ponies. In a way, that training was what allowed me to keep my genitals, because they could give me smaller shocks there, and it wouldn't show up as burns on my skin and affect my fighting performance."

Cadence extended a wing towards him. Luna glared and she pulled it back. She bowed her head to the Diarch. Understanding that this was not the time to act like ponies, and cuddle the problem away, but to absorb the pain as mute witnesses.

Percy shot to his feet, and all quailed at what would next occur. He seemed to realize, and stepped away from the table to pace. Cadence glared at Luna, then looked at Celestia, who looked back serenely. Cadence's ears pinned back and her nostrils pinched as if to say, 'He's my human, and I can't even comfort him? Who are you to order this?'

Luna had to hide a smile at Cadence's defiance directed towards Celestia. The Crystal Empire needs ruler who is a friend to Equestria, not a mindless servant, Luna thought as Armor nuzzled her to calm her down.

"He needs to be angry after so long," Armor whispered, "Let him."

Cadence looked disgusted, but nodded to her husband-to-be, she still swept the two Diarchs with a scathing gaze. She would follow her orders, but she didn't have to like it.

I suspect that Percy is in for a major increase in hugs and cuddling in the near future, Luna thought, and approved.

Percy returned to the table, more like a volcano that before. The outward anger hidden, but still roiling beneath the surface. "I beg your pardons," he said and bowed his head generally towards Celestia.

Celestia glanced several times at Cadence, but Percy either missed or ignored the cues. Then she asked, "You still fear your fate at our hands?"

Luna cringed at Celestia's tone. Cadence looked like she wanted to scream her love, support and protection of him, but caught the undertone of Celestia's question. Armor got the worst of it as Percy's full gaze fell on him.

Percy must know what Night Light thinks of him, Luna realized, Armor may head the guard inside the palace, but his father wields much more power across the city.

Percy stunned them all with his next question, "What were the five ponies killed in and around my cell planning to do to me?"

All three alicorns were thunderstruck. He can't think Night Light sent them! Luna thought, Idiot, of course he thinks that, all three were guards assigned to the prison. It's not that great a leap in logic. Besides, he knows ponies look after their own.

His quiet delivery made it worse. That he wasn't even angry about it. He was resigned and wearied by it. "You may have no ill-wishes towards me, but your protection vanishes the moment your eyes are off me, and every pony in this city, especially within the capital itself knows that."

He does suspect Night Light sent them. We know he didn't, Luna thought, But how do you prove a negative?

He continued the weary, stating of facts. The indication of how he built the 'foundation' a brick at a time. "I am property, of no more value than a coach or a dog." He nodded to Celestia, then to Luna. "And there is no way even the rulers of this land can change that. It is a symbol of power to steal other ponies' humans and return them, covered in the smell and residue of sex, and I have heard no law or dictum raised against that practice. It is a herd-dominance game and you all know a law against it would be unenforceable. Your culture all but enshrines it as an acceptable alternative over physical threat displays, like screaming at each other."

He had such a wan smile, all three alicorns wanted to enfold him with their wings until he saw they could protect him, that they could stop the world from hurting him at every turn.

But that would be a most cruel lie, as he just pointed out, Luna thought.

The smile sharpened ever so slightly. "Now that you know the truth, during your reading of the reports of my actions, how many times did you wonder how so many ponies missed the obvious signs? If I hadn't played the cello, you'd all still be in comfortable denial," he made it an accusation, one well earned, "The doctor at the Institute refused to accept that I had problem-solving intelligence, despite the proof staring her in the face. Because I did not solve the problems the way she expected, I could obviously not be intelligent."

Luna risked a glance at Celestia, and suspected that a talk with the doctor would be in the offing, in the very near future.

"For five years, I've lived within the penumbra of that willful ignorance from every pony I have encountered. And the majority who knew of my sapience, cared nothing for it. Were even irritated that I'd made them aware of it," his tone and expression turned sympathetic, "You cannot overcome that with a royal decree and a pronouncement."

"We can try," Pink declared. She stared at the two Diarchs, daring them to dissent.

He smiled sadly and explained with almost tenderness, "They know it would cause chaos: ponies would begin all manner of cruel testing on humans to determine which others were 'faking it'," he explained to Cadence, who looked sick at the scenario painted, and that he seemed to regard it as reasonable. He turned to tell Celestia and Luna, "And it would weaken your authority, if you tried."

Armor tried to interject, but nothing he could think of seemed to matter.

Percy continued in his matter-of-fact tone, ignoring the angst around him, "I've read enough in the tabloids about 'hidden human villages' where the humans are cunning enough to evade capture. Those stories are based on myth and conjecture, and still cause hysteria. Irrefutable evidence that intelligent humans exist would double or treble that hysteria and involve most of the population in feeding or quelling it." He looked at Cadence and Shining Armor, like a disappointed parent. "They'd be better off tossing me head first out a high window than let that loose on your people."

Celestia finally shook herself loose of the web of resignation Percy was weaving. "I would think there would be better options than the two you've presented," she said, trying to reassure him.

Percy reined his vituperation in, and answered softly, "Maybe your Highness is right for many of the ponies you know. But I know I'm right for most of them I've met." He couldn't resist driving the point home, "And the ones I know are the ones who are most likely to ignore your laws and edicts."

Luna forced herself not to rain denials on his head until his knees bent, and went for the crux of what bothered her and presumably Celestia. "So what hope hast thee?"

Finally Percy seemed to realize what he was doing, and relax. "To die at peace, at the ripe old age of several decades."

Impossible, Luna thought and glanced at Celestia who was thinking the same, That would mean a strain of the original stock not only survived, but managed to breed true. Percy has never mentioned this. Of course not, it's too great a secret. And that if his initial captors did not encourage him to reveal its location, did they kill, have they killed all who knew the secret? That because he was not asked to divulge it, is he the first who made it through that cordon? Generations of running and hiding, it is no wonder he despises ponies so. And the song, it was a song of his people. An entire other culture living within our sphere and hiding from us. With their own art, science and even skills, all aimed at avoiding and escaping from our ponies. What wonders could be learned if we could approach them in peace. She looked at Celestia, who had been thinking along the same lines, and came to the conclusion as swiftly as she did. They would never see us or our ponies as friends, not with so many examples of what we would do to them, given the chance, walking our streets and living in our homes.

Luna turned the problem over in her head. We know, or at least suspect what was done to them, shortened their childhood to mere months, instead of the years ponies enjoy. They grow up fast, and they grow up broken. But if Percy and his kin still have the long idyll of growth to adulthood, then it easily explains his intellect. He might have even been a full adult when they caught him. The hidden villages are a legend, and an alluring one, how could they not have even asked about them? They might be the restoration of the rest of their race. But Percy is right, the existence and proof would pit the ponies against themselves in a war like the Three Kingdoms Period, but it would split families and set mare against mare, better to keep it a secret, even from the Pony Sisters. She saw that Celestia agreed. The question burned within her, but would remain unasked.

"Several?" Armor asked.

"My father passed away well after his twentieth year," Percy told them.

Luna and Celestia exchanged a glance. Everything Percy said was making it clear a strain of the original had remained, and it bred true.

"My initial plan was to research enough to disappear into the Everfree Forest. Forging the appropriate passes and documents would be trivially easy. But with Twilight's presence in Ponyville, expeditions into that once forbidden territory have increased. It would no longer be the haven it originally appeared to be."

And escape back home? Or establish a new colony on Ponyville's doorstep in the place nopony would look? Luna fairly seethed to ask.

"The Castle of the Pony Sisters," Luna said and watched the slight nod, "We canst see how thy plan would conceal thee. The grottos and corridors beneath housed most of the work done."

Would that have been a diplomatic mission, an outpost allowing the exchange of cultures? A chance to undue this stain on Equestria's honor and the monstrous failing of her ponies? Luna wondered.

"You would have run away?" Cadence asked, not seeing the deeper implications.

She does not know, Luna thought, Celestia has not told her. Perhaps not to crush her under the burden that helped push me to becoming Nightmare Moon, but she does need to know.

Percy skirted the real issue and focused on himself and his family, "How many assassination attempts have I escaped? And I wasn't the real target. My death was to strike at you and Shining Armor."

Celestia indicated that they would follow this route out of more dangerous subjects. "You have a talent for exposing the darkest elements of ponykind."

Percy looked at Celestia with pity. She squirmed slightly under the gaze until he explained, "I have been careful not to even scratch that surface. There are far, far worse things I have seen, that thank God were not done to me."

He made an effort to control the temper that still roiled beneath the calm exterior before he spoke, "I appreciate that all of you have tried to treat me decently. Given me a home, and reminded me that everything on four legs isn't actively planning to hurt me. But for five years, I saw a callous indifference to the suffering inflicted by ponies on humans." He glanced at Armor and the stallion shied as if struck a blow. "Guards were paid a pittance to look the other way." Cadence received the same flat look and came near to tears. "Nobles were allowed 'special access' for their protection and patronage. Fillies and colts were brought in to watch branding parties of new fodder for the pit." Now came Celestia's turn and the words sickened both Diarchs. "And through it all, the delighted laughter of ponies thoroughly enjoying what they were doing to humans. I'm not saying that humans would entirely avoid the same traps, if humans were intelligent and dominant, and ponies were dumb animals."

Luna pounced on that, Ponies live among them, and are treated well? They do live in harmony. Ponies have joined with them, and used magics to hide them? They have already achieved what we are striving for. We could show proof that it could be done? Steady Luna, this is a very delicate time. Wait. That's why he can mention it! They might not have been able to rescue him, it would have drawn down too many pursuers, but they must have erased the details from his mind of where the villages are, any pass codes and special signs. That's why he was going to go into the Everfree, so his people could make contact at their own time and when they controlled the situation!

She let him speak rather than demanding the clarification she and Celestia ached for, "But I am saying, we wouldn't be bought as cheaply as ponies are. I've watched more than one human endanger itself, even face death, to protect a pony. I have never seen any pony old enough to have a cutie mark so much as risk a bloody nose to protect a human, yet they gallop into a burning building to save the family cat or dog. Somewhere along the line, all ponies everywhere are shorn of their empathy for humans. Maybe it's in school, or maybe familiarity breeds contempt. But as clever as you all are, I could have kept fooling you as long as I wished, because you would have been helping me every step of the way."

Unfortunately, he is correct. If I hadn't had Nightmare Moon's discomfiture staring me in the face, I too would have ignored the evidence of my own senses.

Percy grinned as he told Armor, "I bet if your bright kid-sister encountered an intelligent human, the human would have to specifically tell her he or she was intelligent, before she'd acknowledge it."

The Captain of the Royal Guard likes neither the implication, nor that it might be true.

Cadence showed clearly that she had a different agenda, "So, why did you give yourself away?"

Good girl, Luna thought, Keep us from giving ourselves away. He needs to talk about this right now, far more than we need to know it just yet.

Percy sat, breathing deeply as if stoking the furnace to gain the force to bring up this weight on his soul. After a few moments of silence, he explained, "I've thought about that."

He paused again, looking from face to face as if gauging their reaction to what he was about to say. Celestia nodded, urging him on. Armor sat in rapt attention. I think Armor does not yet know why he loves Percy so, Luna realized, Percy is the older brother who is already all that Armor longs to be. Lover, warrior, cunning, able to strike with all his heart and soul behind the blow, and yet still having the gentleness ponies all claim, yet so few truly have.

Percy explained, "That what kept me going in the pit, was the thrill of danger. Of always putting it all on the line and throwing the dice again. Down there, even though you know you're smarter, better trained, and the other poor sucker doesn't stand a chance, there's always luck, complacency, and the unexpected. And the penalty for losing the throw is death."

Celestia was thunderstruck, Cadence horrified, but both Luna and Armor recognized the attraction. How many nightmares have I faced, she wondered, Why are my most difficult battles the memories I treasure? The challenges I long to face again? So, we are not so different, are we, Percy?

Percy continued as he stared at the ceiling, "Two to three times a week, and it became a routine. And it became a thrill. Most times, it was a dumb animal with no more comprehension of what was happening than a plank being nailed to a wall. Then, I had to draw it out. Give his or her death some grace and artistry. So the ponies would yell and scream and part with more bits to see it again."

Cadence looked ill at that, but the others understood. What made it horrible was the simple tone, like discussing the weather, or a mediocre meal, there was no passion in the delivery of these horrors. It was what was. And he no doubt fears could be again so very easily, Luna thought, How much would he be worth, delivered again to the pits? Or to another nation? The Crimson Death, faces the best of the Griffon Lands, or Minotauria, or Zebrica, or Stalliongrad, or Neighpon. How many bits would that be worth? To whom would it be worth those bits? The nobility? The sovereigns themselves? A cabal of ponies, griffons, dragons and others? And how many eyes would such wealth blind from the performance of their duties? From loyalty to their princess? Or would the desire to 'keep the filthy ape's hands off her' be sufficient inducement?

"Sometimes," Percy explained, as if describing a picture and the technique for painting it, "The fighter showed a glimmer of talent. I had to draw it out, let them fight hard enough that the crowd would demand they live. Then for a while, I taught them all the tricks they could absorb, so they'd live a little longer. By being good fighters, or by being entertaining to the ponies. None but me ever went to the Warmasters. None ever made it through the guards' cullings. None ever became famous or clever enough to live."

Theatricality indeed, Luna thought, The performance is what drew him, draws him still. All this is performance. Theater for the ponies. Just enough carefully measured truth to shock, yet not overwhelm the receiver, so it slips past the greatest defense and saturates the targets.

Luna steadied herself. Well played, well played, she thought.

"And occasionally, it was something that knew more than 'the pointy bit goes in the other man'. Against those, I threw out any honor or theater, because that was someone who was there willingly. Then, I shattered their pride, and I killed. Quickly."

Cadence was cuddling in Armor's embrace, weeping softly. Celestia had her eyes tightly closed and looked as if she were facing a storm within herself. Luna sympathized, but in her, curiosity burned as fiercely as Cadence's horror or Celestia's division.

"There was always the temptation to draw it out, to make them suffer, because they understood suffering. They planned on the suffering. They just never thought it would be theirs," Percy said. He paused, again drawing the ponies in, "They could understand they were at my mercy, and I could do to them, whatever I wanted, and whatever the crowd demanded. Whatever they had planned to do to me."

The gentleness of his tone and expression vanished. He sat back, his expression hard and hate-filled. He delivered the next daring any of the ponies to challenge, "But I ignored the crowd. I ignored the ponies and griffons, and whatever else screaming at me to make something bleed and cry and scream for their amusement." He pounded the table, making them jump. His expression was ugly and confrontational, not just from the anger boiling within, but his view of the world contending with theirs. "Because I am NOT a pony. Because if I fell into that trap, I would be exactly what they thought I was. A dumb animal with no brains, just bloodlust."

He ticked off the rest as if from a list. "If it was a pony, I hurt it and convinced it to try to escape. If it was a minotaur, I killed it with the first blow I could. If it was a griffon, I tried to make it escape, then dispatched it instantly if it refused. Zebras and mules, I knocked unconscious. Bulls were like griffons, some realized and tried to run away, others wouldn't and they died."

His stare was defiant, demanding they either submit, or engage.

But he overplayed it, Luna thought as she turned away from that gaze, as much shame as horror, None of us will deny what some ponies are, but to protect those he cares for, he must live in that world. Where all must prove themselves not a threat, rather than being granted the slightest benefit of the doubt. Guilty until proved Innocent. I am glad that he looks out for us, but I am shamed that such an outlook is even necessary in Equestria.

"Please, ask no more questions you aren't ready for the answers to. All that information I provided should have warned you that I was intimately familiar with all aspects of the darkest elements of the human trade," he said, a plea rather than a provocation, "Unless you count the selling of the underaged to ponies."

Armor moved fast to prevent Cadence from disgorging all over the floor. The last was the most horrifying aspect of pony-human relations. The joke was all humans needed was a hole a rod and two heartbeats and they'd couple with anything. But some desire to overcome 'resistance' or to see horror and pain on their partner's face, Luna thought, Difficult to train a human to fake that, so those who would be illegal if ponies were sold for that purpose. Then abandoned when they grew up. The window of usefulness was brief, so they were heavily used, and then discarded. She was as revolted as Cadence was, but she had known about it, so this was a reminder, not a revelation.

Percy stroked Cadence and spoke softly to her. Luna concentrated on her own thoughts, It does not ring true. Why would he so disdain ponies and our ways, yet risk so much to protect them? He did afflict Nightmare Moon with uncertainty and distraction, knowing full well what she would do to him? Or had he surmised who was Nightmare Moon?

"Didst thy fortitude in the face of Nightmare Moon stem from thy callousness towards death, or thy desire for it?" Luna asked, "Or that thou surmised that naught could she accomplish, beside what thou had already withstood?"

Percy looked up, but kept gently stroking Cadence. "The latter, majesty." He frowned at the admission. "It might be my arrogance, but I honestly didn't think she'd harm me. I was trivial. It was Cadence she would have struck at."

Cadence raised her head and stroked Percy with her wing.

Celestia raised an eyebrow and seemed as close to laughter as the grim discussion allowed. "Arrogant by assuming yourself trivial?"

He had not shied from Cadence's attention. "Arrogant in that I could fool someone into thinking I'm trivial even as I'm neutralizing her."

Luna felt vindicated. "So thou afflicted her with intent! Thy ministrations addled her so, We nearly overcame her before the Elements swept her from the world!"

Armor gave Percy a half-smile. "That's two Twilie owes you. She described what sounded to me like a guards' training and trust exercise. Not an attack plan."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Not all was Percy's doing." She added, "It is good Our debt is somewhat lessened."

Shining Armor said, "It don't think we can tell her that."

Luna nodded and smiled.

Celestia fluttered her wings, trying to shake off the miasma of doom Percy had woven over all of them. "I think our sense of place has taken a sufficient beating for the moment." She looked at Percy with ill-disguised pity, as if she wanted to cuddle him to herself and never let him go. She tried to lighten the mood, "If you told Nightmare Moon all of that, I think she would have been too conflicted to do anything." She glanced at Luna.

Luna smiled and nodded, leaning over to nuzzle Percy. But he seemed in an odd way, prickly. I recognize that, Luna thought, You despise yourself, but turn it outward to rage at everything else. Later I should think.

Luna added to further lighten things, "There is another I do wish to see Percy duel: Sombra."

Celestia snorted, and though Armor and Cadence looked wary, Percy began to look thoughtful.

Celestia raised an eyebrow to Luna about that. "I'm afraid King Sombra would drown himself in tears of joy that ponies had 'evolved'." Celestia took on a regal tone and mein, as if granting a Royal Commission. "Percy, you have Our permission to kill King Sombra on sight. If you can."

Percy nodded absent-mindedly, already focused on this new threat, and somehow much more at peace with himself for it.

Shining Armor and Cadence knew they were dismissed. When Percy moved to follow them, Celestial and Luna blocked him. He seemed uneager to follow his 'owners'. He sensed their unease.

Celestia started to nuzzle him, then stopped. "I apologize for the questioning," she said instead.

He looked at her, and seemed careworn, as Celestia sometimes did after a long and grueling session at court. "I apologize for the answers, but you asked, and I thought you needed to know." He looked away from both of them. "I also wanted you to know I was a good person, once."

Luna used her wing to turn his chin to face them again. "Thoust remain a good person." She smiled and nodded to Celestia. "Thy rage didst never create such a thing as Nightmare Moon."

He still looked ashamed and glanced between the Diarchs. "With respect your Highnesses, I am worse: I can become Nightmare on command, and then put it away. When, I don't need it anymore."

And yet you have put it at the service of others, Luna thought, and watched the same thought play across Celestia's face, Nightmare Moon cared only for herself.

"Nightmare Moon needed vast magical powers. I needed a light switch and four rolls of toilet paper."

"And a fire poker," Celestia added with an approving grin.

That is a tale I want related to me, she thought and stared at Celestia until she caught the slight nod.
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Cadence watched Percy arrive back in the apartment. She rushed over to him. Nuzzled and hugged him, and he simply stood there like an ordinary human with something they didn't understand.

"We shouldn't have done that," she said, "You aren't comfortable saying those things, even to pon - people who love you."

"You wanted to know, it was important I tell you," he said, "I think I really need a bath."

"Okay," Cadence said and led the way, she turned back when she realized that Percy wasn't following. "What's wrong?"

" 'Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?'" he asked.

Cadence chuckled. "No," she said, "Just, I want to show that not all ponies are monsters. You say it, but you don't really believe it. And I like watching you relax and enjoy yourself."

He shrugged and followed her into the bathroom.
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The girl had crept along the night-darkened, palace corridors unseen. Sometimes she used the shadows along the ceilings, sometime she slipped from shadow to shadow in the many tunnels that honeycombed the palace. Mostly she took the expression of the other human servants who walked through the night on their master's tasks. All of this made her better than invisible. Ponies would see her, and put her out of their minds.

But she could not afford such complacency. Rumor abounded about things, strange things, that lived in and around the palace. While she loved her mother, her curiosity dragged her forward. She was at heart a hunter, a predator, no pony but the most highly trained, formidably armored or a magical prodigy would match her. Despite that, she wanted none to see her as she scouted, lest their curiosity take their attention where she'd rather it not fall. Especially on her mother, who deserved a bit of peace after all that had happened.

She froze as she saw the figure untroubled by the darkness or the lateness of the hour. A girl, not too unlike herself, but a stealthy predator all the same. She was instantly struck that their missions might actually be parallel, that the guardian of what she sought stood before her while searching out the truth of rumors, and vice versa.

The new girl stared at her for a time, her head cocking from one side to the other, as if seeking a better perspective. She straightened up as she came to a decision. Her appearance as a young, human girl disappeared, and she was revealed as what she was.

The first test passed, she was surprised, but hardly terrified as a pony might be. The other motioned to her, as if seeing through to the truth of things. The first sighed softly, and did the same, releasing her seeming so this other could see her as she truly was.

One alien, non-pony looked at the other. Neither feared, but both were cautious. And both saw the caution in the other. They could do business, as long as it did not touch who they guarded.

She felt a pressure, as if the other were searching her being for something. But at the same time, the other was transmitting something of her own.

She shuddered in shock as the contact was broken, and her counterpart seemed as shaken as she. She resumed the seeming of a human and smiled, something humans were supposedly incapable of.

The other smiled back, indicating what she guarded, and what she sought. The girl nodded, they could do business. But to leap to the treasure without revealing their own would be a bad show of faith. Both understood this, and both could be patient, within reason.

She resumed her 'native human' disguise and stared. So, you have something I want, and you want something I have. And neither of us trusts the other enough to bring our charge in close without assurances, she thought.

The other gestured to herself and her counterpart, and then to the high bell tower that was all but abandoned at night.

'I think we can work through this impasse' she considered the others gestures, 'But we will have to trust each other.' Odd that the ponies talk a good game of 'tolerate' yet we must be such zealous defenders of whom we care for. They proceeded to the tower, but found it occupied, and gestured they would meet the following night. And they parted.
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The girl slipped through the small hatchway that was the servants' entrance. It was among the quietest doors in the compound, and served her purpose well. The other humans paid her little mind as she sought the most secure place.

The woman dozed fitfully. She could feel the nightmares waging their silent war within her. She will not worry that I break in, the girl thought as she approached.

"Mutti," she said, "Mutti," she said again and again until she'd pried the woman free of the nightmares. When the woman looked at her, she smiled and the woman smiled.

"Danke." Then the woman grew alarmed at the girl's serious expression.

"Mutti," the girl said, "Ich ein Berliner. Ich ein Berliner."

The woman covered her mouth before she could cry out. A moment later the woman gathered her in her arms and cried happy tears. None but the two of them would know the real meaning. They could tell a curious pony it meant 'I am a jelly doughnut' and the pony would laugh and the matter would drop, but the real meaning was 'I am one with the people of Berlin', only one kind of creature could claim that, one they had hoped for, for so long.
------------------------------

Discord finished the display of 'The Breaking of the Elements of Harmony' to the audience, fitting for an audience chamber, and while there was no applause, none of the ponies moved. In fact they were glued to their seats, he'd done the gluing personally with Celestia and Luna.

"So, too jejune an ingenue to send against a crafty old devil like me?" Discord said as they watched a brokenhearted Sparkle head off towards the library.

"There are others," Celestia said, "You will be defeated."

"Oh please," Discord said, "Name one person who could match my flair, my showmanship, my incredible sense of style, and my impeccable timing."

A pink, horseless carriage pushed open the doors to the throne room and entered.

"Thou werest declaiming?" Luna asked and both sisters laughed at Discord.

The irritated Draconequus concentrated on the new comers.

The useless, white unicorn he recognized, the pink Cadencelac, and the white Shining Armor, but not the human wearing it.

"Stay here, Armor and I will handle this," the human said.

Discord looked at the Pony Sisters. Both shrugged to the limit of their ability.

"Ask and you shall receive," Celestia said as the frightened murmurs passed through the assembled ponies.

Miffed, Discord rolled up his 'sleeves', leaving his hands hanging in midair. He started down the throne dias steps towards the interloper, the scene-stealer, the soon to be grease spot on the floor.

The voice was powerful and the delivery professional. "Yes, I can talk." It glared at the surrounding ponies, parting the path between itself and Discord. "And I bet you're all expecting me to go into a big pronouncement about the treatment of humans by you ponies."

A talking human, going to give the ponies what for!? Discord thought as he conjured a parchment to take notes, I can tolerate a clever understudy, for one performance. I'm bigger than that. His height doubled.

"How the very ones who preach love and tolerance, regularly castrate and sterilize, beat, imprison and blind the ones who can barely raise a hand against you."

Oh, this boy goes right for the jugular, I like him! Discord thought, But where did he come from?

"To decry your throwing me and hundred to thousands of others over the years, decades and centuries, into a pit day after day after day and expect me to make whatever other unfortunate you threw in afterwards scream and cry and beg for mercy while you all stood above it, aloof and cruel and congratulating yourself on your superiority."

Ooo, let'em have it! Let'em have it! This is going to be monumental, epic, Picardian even! Discord thought, quill at the ready.

"Well, I won't."

Discord's smile vanished so fast it took his mouth with it. "Oh come on!" Discord shouted through Celestia's mouth which he'd borrowed. Both Pony sisters' snickering at him didn't help his disposition. "I gave him the spotlight and he blows it," Discord said on returning Celestia's mouth and recreating his own.

"Thou wouldst not comprehend subtly if it chewed off thy tail to the root," Luna said, and snickered.

Discord was about to retort, when the human continued.

"I am not, because I never expected any better from any of you. I have watched you here and seen the same sneering cruelties I have seen as long as I can remember. The cruelties of children thinking their parent hasn't caught them."

"Is he talking about the ponies I wonder?" Celestia asked.

Discord frowned, but listened. Begrudgingly taking notes as the upstart picked up the spare.

"You do as much of it as you can get away with to each other, why should people who can't hit back expect any better? None of you are worth my time."

Discord briefly considered having Celestia traipse through with a title card 'The Main Event' but decided against it. He put on his most serious face, found it didn't fit well, and switched back to his regular face. He marched down the stairs, his nonexistent spurs jingling.

"You, however, I am going to politely request you restore Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna to status quo ante, if you would be so kind." It was clear he had no sense of humor. Then Discord jingled back up the steps and behind Celestia. The Solar Diarch giggling at that only infuriated Discord.

But I'm going to get the last laugh, he thought, So giggle away. If not this one, then the next.

"Nope," Discord said in his best 'lonesome cowpoke'.

The creature's expression doesn't falter. This guy brings new meaning to the word 'grim', Discord thought.

"Would you please explain why?" He remained infuriatingly polite and unaffected, despite having looked closely at what Discord had done to the former rulers of Equestria. Then he shifted the axe, and began looking for another place to put it. Worst, he acted like that would matter, and the two princesses thought it was funny.

Discord decided to educate the chump. "I am the font of eternal and endless chaos." The ignorant chump still wasn't impressed.

"So you did all of this?" he asked.

Discord considered turning this guy into a knuckledragger so everypony could see how dumb he was. "Of course."

"Because you wanted it to happen?" he asked, and stared at Discord, a faint smirk as if he were actually making points.

Give him a chance, he's slow, Discord thought.

"Exactemende." He waited patiently for the next pearl of wisdom from Shining Axe's ventriloquist dummy.

"Intent driving action, cause following effect, that's the basis of order, so how are you associated with Chaos?" he asked.

Discord raised his hand and began to explain the indisputable logic of the situation, then he realized knuckledragger had a point. His hand dropped a bit. A very good point. A bell chimed and Discord shattered as he realized what he'd done.

He reformed and shouted, "Blasphemy!"

The knuckledragger seemed unimpressed. "Blasphemy, moi?"

"That's my line!" Discord shouted and prepared to explain things properly.

"Well, there is one chaotic thing you did." The moron managed to say the one thing that might have kept him from becoming a germanium geranium.

"Just one?" Discord said, snap at the ready. "If this is a waste of my time."

"Just one," the knuckledragger said, "Me."

Discord started to laugh in his face, prior to reducing him to muffins to feed to the crowd. Then he really looked at the creature. Understanding it led to a revelation. If the ponies only knew, he thought, Yay, I'll tell them, after they think they're safe. He hid his grin in his pocket as he considered what this creature would mean to Equestria and Celestia especially.

The knuckledragger started to advance, but Discord didn't want to damage him too much.

"You didn't expect me, you didn't intend me, so you have no idea what to do with me, do you?" the knuckledragger asked.

Oh, I know exactly what to do with you, Discord thought, It's just a shame I have to be cooped up in stone to get the maximum effect.

"When you changed me, you showed true Chaos, and I am beyond you now. I am eternal, now and forever. So you could change me into wind, or snow, or seven notes of music, and you would spend the rest of your life wondering when I would reach you. And what I am going to do to you when I do."

Those aren't bad ideas, Discord thought as he felt the raw potential roiling inside this creature. Poor Celestia. You have let your doom in by the front door and taken it to your bosom, but it will carve out your heart, Discord thought as he kept circling, watching the creature that acted like it wasn't a font of misery for the entire Alicorn clan.

"Percy, you can't kill him," Celestia warned him.

Spoilsport, Discord thought.

"Oh, she's trying to protect you, isn't that sweet?" the knuckledragger said, and Discord stared at him and his monumental arrogance with incredulity.

Does he have no idea what he's facing, Discord thought as he struggled not to laugh, Oh no wonder Celly is so drawn to him. The brave, doomed knight. How she'll pine and suffer, it might even drive her into 'Atrocity Sun' territory. This is almost too good. But I'd better end this before he does something rash and ruins the game.

"But you see, you hurt the people I care about. Protect you, no one can." He gave Discord a flat stare.

Oh you have not the faintest clue what I am going to do to you, ha! Discord thought, Nothing, that's what! You're the perfect revenge on Celly. Just as you are. Much as it pains me to admit that I cannot improve you.

"You can't outrun me. You can't destroy me. If you damage me, the essence of what I am remains. I will regenerate and keep coming."

Discord fumed as the knuckledragger stole his favorite line.

"Eventually you will weaken, your reserves will be gone, I am relentless."

Does he have to deliver it better than me? Discord wondered as he stood in midair and stomped his feet. Time to end this farce, Discord thought as undid what he'd done to knuckledragger and his widdle famiwy. The knuckledragger sends the white knightmare off to deal with boring and pink. The two former rulers stretch their legs and Celestia corrals the knuckledragger.

Nothing happened to him, Discord thought in alarm.

"Percy, he has restored your family. I do not wish you to destroy him. He might one day be redeemed," Celestia told him as he held him, as if she were protecting Discord from the knuckledragger.

"Redeemed, I?" Discord growled. He glared at the Solar Diarch "Celestia you forget yourself."

Celestia glared back. "He is restrained by my wings and word." She nuzzled the knuckledragger.

"I'm inclined to let him go." The knuckledragger dared to look at Discord with pity. "In many ways, he's no worse than the ponies down there."

Discord's fury nearly made him break a toy. "THEM'S FIGHTIN' WOIDS!" Discord shouted.

The knuckledragger smirked at him. At him!

"Oh really, and you can do better than them?" He gestured to the ponies surrounding them on the throne room floor "Ha."

If you weren't worth all the misery you're going to cause, Discord growled internally.

"Look at her," the knuckledragger gestured at Celestia.

Discord nearly hurled as he saw the love passing between the two. All the better to hurt you with, my dear, Discord thought.

"All you and them see is a thousand-year-old sovereign. She's a youthful woman, the age and attitude of a young mother. You so desperately want to hurt her to get her attention? You don't have the first clue about how to hurt her, or how to get attention you would want."

Oh I know how, I broke her last, sparkly toy, but that didn't break her spirit, because I didn't know she had a new, shiny toy, Discord thought, That one will break her for sure, and only poor widdle Woona to pick up the pieces, and I can shatter her any time I want.

"Percy," Celestia said.

It has a name? Discord was shocked, She's already named it?

He turned in Celestia's feathery embrace. "He doesn't actually want to hurt you. He wants your attention. Like a naughty child wants his mommy's love."

For the first time, Discord felt the glurge achieving gorge-rising levels.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Luna said.

Discord agreed.

"Then look at that pompous windbag trying to hide in the Ficus bush, she's the chamberlain. She controls the schedule and who meets with her, and who doesn't. She rings her round and round with protocols and fancies, to 'retain her majesty.' Celestia needs none of that. She carries her majesty with her like a shroud. She does it for herself, to impress her power on everyone around her, and to gain some little fulfillment for forcing mighty Celestia to bow to her trifling wishes." The knuckledragger acted like he had an answer that Discord didn't. "How do you differ, how are you more malevolent than that arrogant mayfly stealing joy day by day from someone too gentle to strike them down and start over?"

Because I do it with art and mastery, Discord wanted to shout at him, She does it by accident. Hmm, I need another of these, just not one so mouthy.

"Do you honestly think if Celestia turned to Shining Armor tomorrow and told him to put them all to the sword, they wouldn't all deserve it?"

Now that I hadn't considered, Discord admitted to himself, Having holy Celestia slay all her ponies. That would be something to watch. Well, I'm not stealing the idea, his approach is puerile and oafish, mine will be exquisite and become legend. Destroying any pony hope of a savor not turning into a monster.

"And the lies they spread about her fearsome punishments. Yet when trouble arrives, they flock to her like frightened children. Even knowing you were here inside the room, they ran in, not out." The knuckledragger smiled at him. "And when you feared, you placed her as your bulwark against me. You depended on, relied on, maybe even prayed for a love you have done precisely nothing to deserve. And it saved you, she saved you, and you are still unworthy. How are you different from them?"

Proof he has no idea what he's talking about. Time to return him to the unspeaking ape, Discord thought and snapped his fingers.

Nothing happened.

That should have undone what I did, it always works. Are you being protected by another chaos entity? Discord wondered as he tested his power on himself. Everything worked fine. Okay, someone is playing in MY sandbox.

"I already told you, since you don't know what you did to create me, you don't know the counter to return me to status quo ante." The knuckledragger snapped his fingers at Discord. He expected the other to reveal itself, but nothing happened. "Princess Celestia has demanded your life. I will honor the request of one of the few in this whole world who has treated me decently. Should you trouble her further, she needs only revoke her request, and, you, are, mine. I have a lifetime of cruelties taught by experts, and would dearly love to see you experience each and every one."

Oh I can play the deep game too, whoever you are, Discord thought and decided on his plan. He looked at Celestia, who shrugged back.

"But, in deference to her, and Princess Luna, I offer a suggestion. Perhaps something to pour oil on the waters between you and the Diarchs. Change her and Luna into foals for one day, let her play with her student, her friends and their families. Let her bask in the love of people who care about Celestia and Luna as persons, and can see past the crowns."

I'll do nothing of the sort! Discord thought and was aghast that anyone would suggest such a thing.

"No? Well then I have no time for you either. In deference to your wishes, I depart, I doubt I can restrain myself much longer."

I hate looking like I lost, but it'll make my playmate come out and show itself. I can let him destroy Celestia, and laugh at her when I get loose again, Discord thought and whispered to Celestia.

"I can't fix Sparkle, but if you send her all the Friendship Reports, that should undo what I did. Then the Elements will turn everything back the way it was," he said.

And we'll see if the Friendship Beam affects our little friend over there, he thought as the knuckledragger marched out of the throne room like a king.

"Afraid?" Celestia asked. Celestia turned to Discord. "I expected you to take some revenge for having usurped the spotlight."

The light illuminated Discord. "Oh, I don't step on raw talent like that," he turned and smiled at Celestia, "After all, you so desperately want to save him. When he flies to pieces and the broken, harrowed bits run through your hooves, you'll torture yourself for a thousand years wondering how you could have failed him so completely. The answer will be simple, even your love will never be enough. Much as you think it will, and you'll never admit it to yourself," Discord told the horrified pony princesses, "And you know what, he was right about your ponies, they are the same malicious monsters I came to know and love before you and Luna spoiled the fun. Most of what I did, they asked to be done to others. I just did it to them too. And I enjoyed it."

"That's not true," Celestia said.

"Your ponies will remember the insult he gave them, and they will pay him back a thousandfold, and he knows there's nothing you can do to stop it. That's what I so enjoy about this drama. He loves you, you love him, and he knows you'll throw him under the train in a second, for your precious ponies. Think about that, he loves you and knows you will eventually tear his heart out with your teeth, when the crowd demands it. And he still stays with you, to give you a few moments of joy before they bend you to their will and make you kill him. And the sad thing is, they know it too and know they can do whatever they want as long as no one catches them. You can't be everywhere, and you can't see everything, Celestia. In the end, his messy death will be on their demand, but at your hooves."

Discord vanished, leaving a badly shaken Celestia.

He missed about a dozen of the ponies getting very grim and determined expressions among the sea of horrified or relieved faces. Most caught the expressions on one or two around them, and scanned the crowd. As they assessed their numbers, they acknowledged each other 'not while I'm here' they told themselves. And they had the power to do it.