Warning: Journal Entries contain instances of Violence and Abuse.

Section #1 Diamond Mint, Entry #1 ---

83. That is Diamond Mints number. The number I just pulled. The first one. I'm not sure what to do with this yet. I know everypony in ponyville. I don't know many of them well but I know their names and what they look like. Diamond Mint is a Unicorn mare. She has a light blue coat and her mane and her tail is purple with a white streak. She almost always wears a yellow saddle with a matching yellow flower in her mane, Her Cutie Mark is 3 Gems. She is a bit stuck up, doesn't like personal contact much. She follows fashion magazines and spends a lot of time in Rarities Boutique. She works part time as a gem cutter.

That is about all I know about her. I considered her a friend once, just like I considered every pony in Ponyville a friend. How wrong was I huh? Why did I consider them all friends. I barely knew any of them. I guess I used it as a shield, I don't hurt friends, I can't hurt friends. If they are all my friends... They're not my friends anymore though, none of them. I guess that is what makes this all okay...

Anypony reading this has got to be confused so maybe I should explain myself. I want to hurt other ponies. Not like fight them or beat them up, I want to hurt them. This isn't normal, I understand that but I don't think I care anymore. I have been trying to be a good pony for a long time and I know I have made some mistakes in the past but I was really good at being good. At first I tried so hard, I pushed myself to be full of smiles and happiness. If I let those thoughts stop just for a moment it all came back. These feelings and desires I feared. I kept myself hyper and moving to keep them away.. I'm not being forced to do this, I don't have some deep pathological need to hurt others, I can go up to my room shut the door and play solitaire, read a book or anything else and I am fine. I want to do this. .

It started with a book. No that's not right. It started long before that but it was the book that made this all seem possible, so real. I took it from a library in Hoofington when I went there to pick up a package for Mr. and Mrs. Cake. The post office said it hadn't arrived yet so I went looking for something to occupy me. When I saw the library it was so much bigger then Twilight's little stump, so many shelves of books. I went to the crime section, I always loved mystery novels, of course I rooted for the criminal. Most of them were about thieves but there were a few novels where a Pony is killed, those are my favorites. That's when I saw it, it was a history book. It was small and thin, only one hundred and twenty pages. A History of Serial Killers in Equestria. There are nine names in the book, the last one of them lived three hundred and fifty years ago.

These Serial Killers were ponies who had killed more than three other ponies. They went out and found victims and murdered them just like that. Like it was simple. It was so exciting and dangerous. When I read it I did not know what to make of any of it. These ponies, it was like a chasm was between me and them, a massive divide that couldn't be crossed, I coveted that book and these long since passed ponies who had done the unbelievable. It was few weeks ago is when I had a thought, there was no chasm, no divide just the will to do it. I have no life left to live and I thought I might as well be dead. That was when I realized there was nothing stopping me. Nothing, it was all right there in front of me, I could do this.

- Pinkamena.

---

Derpy sat under a tree in the park holding the small journal in her hooves. She placed the journal on the ground beside her cinnamon roll.Derpy tore off half ring of the roll.and popped it in her mouth taking her time chewing it. It's almost half gone, this is the best I've eaten in a while. She swallowed the pastry and turned her attention back to the journal. So this explains a lot, but why does she want to kill?

---

Sweet Apple Acres was first, Rainbow Dash glided over the orchard admiring the view from the sky. Row after row of apple trees dotted the landscape right into the horizon. One out of five apples in Equestria came from this farm. Three ponies worked the farm each and every day, Applejack worked six days a week, the rest were hired hooves. The orchard had seven full fields, three more than two years ago and five more since Applejack had taken over four years ago at age nineteen. She now employed up to fifteen ponies depending on the season. One pegasus for weather clearing during the harvest, Merry May a former alternate on Dashes Weather team. There was one unicorn Dash could vaguely remember being orange or red. He handled handle quality control since Granny Smith retired. She could not handle all the new fields, Unicorn magic sped up the process during harvest. The rest were Earth Ponies on rotating shifts harvesting, planting or transporting. Many of them were members of the family. It took two of them to make up for the loss of Big Macintosh. After all these years the farm was still a site to see.

Rainbow Dash spotted Big Macintosh below heading up to the farm house. She tipped into a dive angling towards the large pony. Spreading her wings to catch the current she slid in right alongside him.

"Hey Big Mac, hows thing?"

Big Mac turned his head slowly looking the cyan mare up and down before replying in a slow drawl. "Okay."

"What have you been up too?"

"Construction." He replied.

"With your back... Isn't that dangerous?" Rainbow Dash asked with a little worry.

"Supervising."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Trying to have a conversation with him was like gliding against the current, you never really get going. Rainbow sighed and gave it another shot. "Do you like supervising construction?"

"Yuuup."

Aaaand we're done here I see. Rainbow thought looking at the untalkative Stallion. Time to just ask the only question that matters. "Seen Applejack around?"

"Nooope"

Okay then time ta go. "Well see you around." Dash said flapping her wings lifting her up to a vantage over the farm. Where is that workaholic she thought surveying the farmland.

--- Section #1 Entry #2. ---

I am going to be a serial killer. It helps to say it out loud and write it down Makes it seem more real.. I almost can't believe it myself but I have already begun preparing. This hole I have been digging for the past few months below my storage room is beginning to look like a room. I got some bricks to make walls and beams to prop up the ceiling. It even amazes me sometimes how fast I can work. Maybe I should have considered construction. This room will give me some alone time with my guests. I decided to call them guests instead of victims; I like to think of these as parties. It's still a party with only one guest and I oh so want to have parties again. Doing whatever it is I plan to do just doesn't feel right in the street or at their home. I want it to happen in my space. The problem is that I don't know what I am going to do. I have read through this book several times and I just don't feel for what the others are doing. The way they kill, it feels empty for some reason. Strangling seems popular among the others in the book, maybe I will do that.

All for now. - Pinkamena.

---

Strangling... If only... Derpy thought. If only...

--- Section #1 Entry #3 ---

It has been three weeks and I am nowhere, I'm a patient pony of course but I want to do this. I just don't know what this is yet. I made more preparations; the room is finished for a start. I have bought a tarp to wrap the body in, some rope to bind it. No, no, no. She's not an it, her name is Diamond Mint. I want this to be closer, pony to pony, not an object, that is why I need her awake and aware of me. The problem is how do I stop a unicorns magic? I want her to look into my eyes but her magic has to go.

I'm rambling now, back on track. This is supposed to be a progress update. I have been watching her and have found several times a day when she is alone. The room now looks like a room and not a hole. I even have stairs. I bought some candles and torches to light the room and a work bench to write at. I might get electricity soon.

- Things to figure out.

* How to get her down here.

* How to stop her Magic

* How to do the actual... you know... partying.

* What to do with the body.

Until next time. - Pinkamena.

---

Whelp she certainly is... was making progress. Goal oriented is a good quality in a pony... right? Derpy thought while picking another piece off her cinnamon roll.

---

"Applejack, hey Applejack!" Dash yelled spotting the orange pony below bucking trees.

Applejack sighed seeing the approaching Cyan streak. "Look RD it's the middle of the work day. Can't you come back when I'm off?"

"It's 5 o'clock the days pretty much over Applejack."

"I just don't have the time." Applejack said bucking another tree.

A sudden anger filled Rainbow Dash at this common excuse. Rainbow Dash leaped towards the orange mare knocking her to the ground. Dash gripped Applejacks head in her fore hooves. "Well make the god damn bucking time Applejack! I have had it, had it! When is the last time we hung out, spent time together. You're making me beg for nothing and I can't take it anymore. Just tell me what does it take to be your friend Applejack." Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Get off of me." Applejack pushed the cyan mare off of her and stared her down irritation clear on her face. "I don't know who you think you are but..."

"But nothing, what is it going to be Applejack. I came here because Pinkie is sick in the hospital and I still care about her, I want her to be my friend and I hoped you would too. But I don't even know if you want to be my friend. Do you?"

Applejack face went blank and she stood silent in front of Rainbow Dash. "I have to work..." She muttered under her breathe. "The farms in trouble."

"Feathers Applejack, a Load of Feathers. The farm is not in trouble, Big Mac is a Construction Supervisor and you have a full staff. Sweet Apple Acres is three times as big as when you inherited it. You can afford a day off, you can afford two, and you can afford mornings, lunches and weeknights." Rainbow stood up and flapped her wings hovering just off the ground. "The only thing you can't afford is friends." She said flying off into the distance.

Applejack stood in shock choking down her emotion. "I don't need you I have Apples!" she yelled into the sky. Applejack shuffled slowly over to the nearest tree and sighed before bucking it.

---

Derpy facehoofed at the latest page of Pinkamena's self described inner darkness. I think I can take that whole she is a killer thing but does she have to be so melodramatic about it.

--- Section #1 Entry #6 ---

It's so close I can taste it now. I have the paralytic and the sedatives. Who would have guessed you could just order them through the mail anonymously and to a bit rented mailbox at that. Drug laws in Equestria are a joke, I always love a good joke.

So with everything I need prepared and my will still strong there is nothing left. It's time. I still don't know what I am going to do.

-Pinkamena.

---

Derpy popped the last piece of her Cinnamon Roll in her mouth. "The Sugar's all gone. It's time for the stomach ache." She whispered turning the page.

--- Section #1 Entry #6 ---

I'm not quite sure how to describe what happened. I guess I should just start from the beginning.

Grabbing her was harder than I would have expected. I was planning on knocking her out at first. I am lucky I decided to order a medical text book in my preparations. You can't just knock someone out, all those Films and mystery novels are wrong about that. If somepony is unconscious for more than five minutes it's a good chance they're not waking back up outside of a hospital. Even then they're most likely waking up retarded from oxygen loss.

Sedatives are harder than I thought too. They take a few minutes to get into the bloodstream just to make someone woozy let alone knock them out. The dose has to be perfect, a bit too much and they die, too little and they're dizzy for an hour but very much awake. The book said that a special doctor called an anesthesiologist prescribes the dosage so not to go to high and cause damage or not to low and cause well nothing.

It took me a week to finally get a handle on this. Maybe I should become a doctor. There are a lot of perks in that line of work Thousands of bits a week and you get to tell ponies they are dying and how long they have left. A career in substandard palliative care in a rundown hospital could just be the outlet I'm looking for. But then again I won't get my name in the history books doing that will I?

Back to the topic at hand. I cornered managed Diamond Mint in an alleyway behind her work at lunch time. Following her has shown me that she uses that alleyway every lunch hour to cut time off of her walk to the dinar around the block. Based on her height, length and thickness she weighs about 140lb's about one third of a bottle of sedative.  I pretended to be passing through the same alley wearing a sun hat and large saddle bags to disguise my identity. I hit her horn with a brick as I passed by her and then I tackled her to the ground. I put my weight increased by the heavy saddle bags on her back and held her mouth shut with a fore hoof. That's when I gave her the injection.

She struggled for about four minutes but I had her completely pinned. I bashed her horn with the brick every time it glowed. Each hit disoriented her further, Eventually she stopped moving. I used rope to bind her and a gag to silence her just in case I got my dose wrong. She is still asleep which is why I have time to

---

Why did it end like that? Derpy thought turning the page.

--- Section #1 Entry #7 ---

She woke up while I was writing the last entry. It's done now. She's dead.

Let me continue where I left off. I used the Sugarcube Corner Cart to drag her back hidden under a blanket. After that I used the paralytic serum and a syringe at the base of her horn to weaken her brains control over it. It could glow but that's about it..

Now for the part all of you have been waiting for. The part where I do my amazing work and reach the history books. What you're about to read will take you on a journey of...

---

"Oh brother." Derpy said shaking her head. I think she believes they are going to dedicate a statue to her or something... Well I guess they might turn her into one. I hear they do that. I think I will skip her Trixie impression and get to the part where she kills the damn pony already. Derpy flipped a couple of paragraphs and returned to reading the journal.

--- Section #1 Entry #7 Continued ---

of the lie of a moral pony society and the safety it promised. But anyway back to what happened.

When she woke up she was so scared. Her whole body shook. It was all so exhilarating but I still wasn't sure what to do. I just stood behind her watching her cower in my basement. The first thing I had to do was make my presence know. Your introduction sets the tone for the rest of the relationship so you can't screw it up. I stepped behind her and pulled off her saddle and gag. I ran a fore hoof down her back and she shivered. She tried to turn her head to look at me but I kept behind her. Soon it had the desired effect and she spoke.

Who's there? she asked me. I rubbed the back of her neck and she told me this wasn't funny. I could hear the fear in her voice. I turned her head towards me to look her in her eyes and she started insulting and threatening me next. She called me that crazy mare who talks to turnips and said she would bash my crazy skull in. I am glad she had heard of me but it was very silly of her to be so rude while she was all tied up. I decided to show her how silly she was. I kicked her in the side with my fore hooves a few times. Minty squirmed around as if trying to defend herself. Oh I decided to call her Minty, a little nickname for my new friend. I grabbed her face and told her she had to calm down. She started to freaking out so I spoke to her like she a little foal. I told her it would be okay if she just did what I asked. Next she asked what she should do which made me remember that I hadn't decided.

I told Minty to be patient and that I would tell her what to do when I was ready. I sat in front of her staring into her eyes and stroking her face with my hoof. She tried to turn away and I struck her muzzle with my fore hoof and moved her head back facing me. She tried to shut her eyes and I struck her again. I told her to keep looking at me. I wanted Minty to stare into my eyes while I decided how she would die. She tried to speak and I struck her again, I didn't tell her why I hit her. Soon she tried to speak again and I again struck her. She understood not to speak after that. Her check started to swell and tears formed in her eyes. She started pulled slowly against the rope wrapped around her fore hooves and the rope tying her rear hooves as if trying to hide it. She started to struggle harder and after a few minutes trying to break out of her bonds. Finally I struck her a fifth time and she stopped moving

At that moment it had hit me, the inspiration I've been looking for all week, what I was going to do to her. Her eyes, I hadn't seen that look since I was a little filly. I didn't have to hide what I was doing, I didn't have to stop before I went too far and I didn't have to feel guilty about what I was doing. I could play with her to death. I looked over my beautiful prize, she was very beautiful and I licked my lips in anticipation. I could see her get uncomfortable so ease her discomfort I licked her lips as well. It didn't help much.

I let go of her face and told her to sit tight well I get some fun party favors and left the basement. I found everything that I needed to party with was just upstairs in the storage room. What few boxes I hadn't moved out had some old baking equipment. I brought the box downstairs and

---

Derpy felt a chill in the air. It's starting to get late, maybe I should just finish reading when I get home.  Derpy looked back down at the journal and sighed. This would be a lot more interesting if she explained what she did as a filly and why she was guilty about it... At least she can feel guilt. That's another plus right? Derpy stuffed the journal under her wing and took off for home.

---

Rainbow Dash stepped out of Carousel Boutique. She turned back to look at the boutique and sighed. Well that went about as well as I expected. Rarity had decided that she wasn't close enough to the pink mare to take the time to visit her in the hospital if she's only there for a couple of days. That her visiting after not talking for so long would be an insult anyway and that if she wanted to make amends this would not be the way. That's not true for me though, Pinkie knows I care about her. Besides Pinkie needs friends, Twilight is next up.

Dash turned the corner and the Tree Library came into view. She approached the door and raised her fore hoof to knock pausing for a moment. Maybe I should think about what to say. Rainbow thought taking a moment. The door in front of her opened and a small purple dragon stood in the doorway.

"Hey Rainbow Dash what are you doing." the Dragon asked.

"Oh hey Spike I was... umm... I mean... Books! I'm here to use the library for umm... the next Daring Do novel."

"Oookay sure come on in." Spike said eying the nervous pegasus "We get so few ponies here I sometimes forget that this is a library." He stepped aside to allow Rainbow Dash entry.

"Where's Twilight is she here?" Dash asked moving over to the fiction book shelf.

"She's upstairs studying star patterns again." Spike replied.

"Hey Spike... how's she doing?" Rainbow asked taking down a book.

"I don't know what you mean." Spike said his eyes shifting around.

"Yes you do." Dash said flatly.

Spike sighed. "Yes I do... She is so wrapped up in her work I don't know what to say to her anymore. She was getting better last year and now she's worse then she was before moving to Ponyville." Spike paced back and forth in front of Rainbow Dash. "We have to do something. I just know this is eating her up up inside."

"Well we can start by fixing things with Pinkie that's where this all started. Now's the perfect time, she's in the hospital and she could use a friends more than ever."

"Pinkie?" Spike scoffed. "Didn't you tell everypony that she was a crazy, twitchy, creepy, madmare who talks to rocks and flour sacks?"

"I overreacted okay! Pinkie is perfectly normal, well as perfectly normal as Pinkie can be. She isn't crazy!" Dash said defensively.

---

Derpy's face flushed as she skimmed over the last paragraph again. That was a lot of rape for one pony. she mused. I wonder how she felt being forced to... I mean to... well with her tongue. I mean I never had to but... I wonder what Pinkamena tasted like?

Derpy rubbed her head with a fore hoof. You just read about a pony getting raped and this is what you're thinking about what is wrong with you. Her inner voice chided.

Derpy looked back down at the book. I'm sure I will care about this after the torture parts she thought to herself turning back to the book.

--- Section #1 Entry #7 Continued ---

It made a delicious cracking sound when it hit her fore hooves. I could see the cracks in her hooves and the way her wrists hung I knew they were broken. The knife sharpening rod felt heavy, thick and solid in my hooves. More so now than when I used it to in the kitchen. It was as perfect for beating her hide and cracking her bones as it was for violating her. I don't doubt that this toy will be a favorite of mine.

I untied the knots on the rope binding her fore hooves and then yanked off the rope. She gave such a beautiful scream when her cracked wrists were jerked up by the rope. The look in her eyes, I could only describe it as utter despair. What she said next gave me shivers. "I did everything you asked. Please you promised to let me go." It was so cute, she was crying and everything. I wrapped a fore leg around her shoulder and I nipped and licked at her ear. She cringed as I told her what a good mare she was. I giggled and told her what a warm and soft tongue she had. The look of disgust that crossed her face made me giddy. I rubbed her face with my hoof and told her that gem cutting was a waste and that I found her real special talent.

She tried to shove me back. What a big mistake. What a funny mistake. The second her broken hooves pushed me the scream just echoed around the room. I almost had to cover my ears. Nothing is funnier than watching a mare try to nurse a broken hoof with another broken hoof. It was like a game of desperate hot potato.

I think it was about then that my contempt for this stupid mare had reached its limit. It was just about time to get rid of her. Those pleading eyes still held hope though, desperate determined hope that she might go home. Just a sliver of hope but it was still there. I decided to take it before I took her. I didn't know what else to do though, she wouldn't have believed anything short of letting her go. So I decided I would let her go.

I told her she could leave. She just looked at me confused. Go I told her and pointed to the stairs. She started to realize what I meant and asked for help getting up them. I laughed at her plea and told her that if she couldn't walk up a flight of stairs she wasn't worthy enough to live. She begged me to at least untie her rear hooves first. I let her beg but after a while she stopped and waited for my answer. I told her she didn't do a good enough job to deserve the use of her rear legs. That she didn't do enough to deserve to leave but I would give her chance to make it out with her fore hooves.

After a minute or so she finally stood and stared at the twenty step staircase. She was in to much pain to notice that I tied a knot in her tail and a rope through the knot. Eventually she started to move. I honestly thought she wouldn't make it. When she stood up wobbling on her bound hind legs and pushed against the heavy trap door she let out a shriek and collapsed to the floor. I stood there and watched her crying at the top of stairs. She started mumbling about everything she was going to do when she got out of here. Talk to her parents, tell her boss she loved him, take up the violin, stuff like that. Listing all of her hopes and dreams as if she was going to escape. I ordered her to try again. I told her it was her last chance to get out.

She stood up again and placed her fore hooves against the door. I gave the rope a little tug pulling her tail just a bit. She turned her head and looked at me finally seeing my rope tied around her tail. Her face was so hilarious, it was the look of a comic book character who runs off a cliff and floats there for a few seconds looking down before falling. She screamed at me not to do it. I pulled as hard as I could and watched her tumble down the steps back into my tender hooves. Well the floor first, then my hooves.

She was pretty beaten up from the fall. I decided to gag her before she could complain. I pulled a butchers knife from the box of kitchen supplies and asked her if she really ever thought she was getting out of here. I have never seen such a look of devastation on anyponies face before. I told her that for being so pathetically optimistic I would take my sweet time ending her. I pressed the knife into her chest not to deep. Unfortunately for me on my first cut I accidentally hit an artery and she was gone within seconds. Good bye Diamond Mint.

So that's that. I am now a murderer. I took my first life and I feel so good. Not how I planned it, only a half job but still good. I almost want to draw the next number right now but that would attract to much suspicion. So I will sit tight. Find a good book on anatomy so I don't make the same mistakes. Maybe buy some more party favors. I will need to get rid of the body. I definitely need something to get rid of the blood. A tarp, maybe someday install a drain or a shower or something. It's everywhere. I'm not looking forward to cleaning this up. So much to do.

I better sneak upstairs and wash myself, I have work in a couple of hours.

- Pinkamena.

---

Derpy finished the entry and flipped the page. Well that was horrifying and about what I imagined. I still don't feel anything though. Well it was her first try and she screwed up, I am sure the second victim will get me to care. Pokey Peirce, I don't know that name.

---

Spike sighed. "Rainbow Dash how will visiting Pinkie help Twilight."

"Losing her friendship started all this. Maybe we can take it all back. If we fix things with Pinkie we can get things back to normal." Dash said while reading the jacket of the new Daring Do novel. "I'm getting tired of the most exciting thing in my life being the DD novel's. I've read all the old ones five times over at least."

"The most exciting thing in my life now is when Twilight says I'm done work. I think I'm down to one hour of sleep a night now" Spike said. "I'll try to get Twilight down here."

Spike walked up the stairs into Twilight's room. Twilight was hunched over her telescope.

"Twilight?"

"What is it Spike?" Twilight said without looking up from her telescope.

"You have a guest downstairs."

Twilight sighed. "Can you tell them to come later?"

"It's important. Rainbow Dash needs to speak to you."

"And since when was anything Rainbow Dash ever said important?" Twilight said rolling her eyes then refocusing them back onto the telescope.

"She's your friend Twilight!" Spike yelled.

"And she'll be my friend tomorrow when I have time." Twilight replied with a hint frustration.

"Who do you think you're kidding? No, you won't have time tomorrow! You will be to busy looking down that stupid telescope or have your nose in some ancient book! If you're not going to talk to her at least have the horn to say so!" Spike screamed his patients at an end.

Twilight looked up from the Telescope. "I do important work Spike. I don't need these constant distractions. What would Princess Celestia think if I missed sending in a celestial or magical applications report."

"I would say she would care about as much as she does when you send them."

Twilight's eyes went wide. "What does that mean?"

"You know exactly what that means." Spike said nonchalantly.

Twilight started to fume. "I... I do important work and the princess knows that!"

"Did." Spike said under his breath.

"What did you say!" Twilight screamed.

"You heard me."

"Do you honestly believe she cares that I am not studying the magic of friendship? That assignment is over. It's done, I finished it." Twilight said defensively.

Spike laughed. "Do you honestly believe she cares that you are studying star charts and spells. She cares about you and now you're a friendless shut in right back where you started three years ago. How do you think she feels about that?" Spike looked up at Twilight with concern. "Rainbow Dash is waiting for you downstairs and Pinkie is in the hospital. You should go."

Twilight stood still for a moment staring at the Dragon. Her eyes narrowed. "No! My work is important and Celestia knows this! She cares about my work!" Twilight sobbed. "She... cares..."

"Twilight I..." Spike started.

"No get out! Get Out!" Twilight screamed. "Just go I don't need you!"

Spike ran from the room leaving a ranting Twilight behind.

Dash stood at the bottom of the stairs trying to listen in. She could barely make out any words but from the sound of the shouting it didn't sound good. She dove to the side as a purple blur passed her by. "Spike! What happened?"

"She isn't coming" Spike grumbled.

"Yeeeah... I guessed that." Dash said rolling her eyes. "What now?"

"Nothing." Spike whispered. "Nothing at all. Good luck getting the others together Dash."

"Are you coming?" Dash asked.

"I would, really but there is something I have to take care of. I've been putting it off for far too long." Spike said walking away.

Dash sighed. Fluttershy is next. Rainbow Dash walked out the door and took off.

---

Derpy lay at the edge of her bed her rear legs dangling over the side and her fore hooves crossed behind her head. Finishing the last section of the journal she thought about it's contents. Seven sections. Seven lives ended. Seven ponies ridiculed, raped, tortured and killed. Two unicorns, one pegasus and four earth ponies. Five mares and two stallions. All intermittent with Pinkamena's lame sense of humor, condescending attitude, massive ego and bloated self importance. Is that what I care about? How annoying Pinkamena acted..

I felt nothing for them... Well that's not true, while Golden Harvest was begging for her life she listed all the ponies she didn't want to leave. At least twenty of them and none of them me. I guess deep down I knew I meant that little to her. I still just thought I would care even a little. I always thought deep down I was a good pony.

Derpy rubbed her eyes with her fore hooves her long day wearing her out. How could I just not care about them. About their families and their lives. I mean I don't have family and don't care if I live but that doesn't mean... Derpy sat up in shock and tumbled over the side of the bed onto the floor. ...I don't care if I live or die... When did that happen. Derpy looked around her decrepit shack that only her and Pinkamena had ever seen the inside of. I guess the real question is when did I not feel this way. Derpy thoughts turned back to Pinkamena.

I guess all that's left is to go see her.

---

Dash stood outside Fluttershy's home in despair. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid... I'm so stupid. Why did I have to go off on a tangent about that retarded mailmare... No why did I have to make fun of Derpy's stupid appearance. After Fluttershy's accident she... I should have known it would hurt her. I'm so stupid.

---

Twilight walked down the stairs from her room into the main library. "Spike. Spike where are you? I just wanted to say I'm sorry Spike. I shouldn't have blown up at you. Maybe we should go see Pinkie together." Twilight looked around the room. "Where are you hiding Spike?"

Twilight spotted a note on the table. She trotted over to it and started to read it.

Dear Twilight Sparkle.

I am sorry Twilight. I can't be your number #1 assistant anymore. I've tried everything to help you but I kept failing. Maybe you really are happier this way. You deserve an assistant as dedicated as you are. I want to have a life and friends. We don't even talk as friends anymore just co-workers. I just can't do this job from morning to night, I need a life. I have cleaned out my stuff and am on my way back to Canterlot.

I will miss you so much Twilight. I hope you find happiness in your work.

-Spike

Twilight stood in stone shock at the letter. "Why?" she whispered under her breath. "Why!?" Twilight yelled at the top of her lungs. She bucked the table onto it's side and then she collapsed onto her haunches. Tears began to form in her eyes. "I need help." she said to herself.

Twilight shuffled across the room to her writing desk.

Dear Princess Celestia.

I don't know what to do anymore your majesty. I have pushed away all my friends. There's no one left here and I don't know how to fix any of this.

I haven't been writing you about friendship reports because I don't have any left. I haven't spoken to Applejack in weeks. Fluttershy had a horrible accident and I don't see her anymore. Pinkie Pie we all avoided after she lost it. Rarity I think has found new friends. Rainbow Dash has been trying to put things back together between us but we all ignore her.

What I learned about friendship this week is that if you ignore it, it goes away. Spike's gone Princess. I took him for granted and stopped listening to him and now he's gone too.

Please help me Princess, I don't know what to do.

- Your faithful Student Twilight Sparkle.

Finishing her letter Twilight turned away and said. "Spike I need you to send..." Her voice echo'd off the walls of the empty room as she remembered she was alone.

Twilight turned back to the desk and put her head down on it. She wrapped her fore legs around her head and began to cry.

---

Rainbow Dash crawled under the covers of her bed. She turned to the clock: 10:30 PM She had never felt more alone then today. Tomorrow's all I have left. she thought. If things don't go well with Pinkie I don't know what I'm... I'm going to do.

---

Derpy yawned crawling into bed. She looked at the clock 3:30 AM. After spending most of the night reading it she snuggled up against her pillow I'm going to be late to see Pinkamena tomorrow and I still don't have answers. Derpy thought as she slowly faded off to sleep.