Rainbow Dash shivered while the cold water ran down coat. That’s the thing about showers in Cloud Houses, very little hot water. The pool runs dry after about ten minutes and then it’s just rain water. Blacks and yellows smudged over her coat onto the cloud floor to be rained out below. Removing the dye from her Daring Do costume had become an obsession for Rainbow Dash. She wanted all reminders of that night alone behind her. All day she spent begging and not a single one of her friends would give her the time of day. Then Pinkamena abandoned her.

The scrubbing had turned the skin beneath her fur raw and her wings were starting to blister. Rainbow Dash just stared at her reflection in the mirror across the room silently as she scraped the sponge over herself again and again desperate to remove any trace of that night.

Rainbow Dash crawled out from the cold shower and slumped down exhausted next to her bed. Four hours the clock next to her bed showed, four hours since she got out of bed and stepped into the shower. She had gotten little sleep last night and all of this was beginning to take its toll.  Her breathing was labored and she felt heavy in her waterlogged skin. The mare shifted on the cloud floor trying to get comfortable now taking notice of her scraps and raw skin. As she twisted around on the cloud floor she started taking stock of her situation.

The party was a success and at the same time a disaster. Pinkamena had disappeared half way through and left Rainbow dash to host it. At first she was angry that Pinkie had abandoned her with none of her closest friends there to keep her company, until she realized something. Pinkie had invited her to party after party when Dash had ousted her from public life, each time she ignored the invitation afraid of the mare’s breakdown. When the invitations stopped coming Dash was relieved. One party alone where none of her friends came and Rainbow Dash was in despair, Pinkie had sent out so many invitations that she knew probably wasn’t going to be answered.  Yet she held hope.

Pinkie was desperate and begging and I just ignored her. Rock Piles and Flour Sacks that is what I decided to dump our friendship over. That is why Pinkie the pony who was friends with everypony in town a spent a year with no friends being mocked or shunned on the streets. Two weeks of not having just my five closest friends around and I’m ready to climb the walls. Not… the best situation for me but Pinkie… I still have to do something. Everything I have tried hasn’t brought us closer to just talking to each other. I’m not through yet, I am going to get to the bottom of this and I am going to start by finding out what happened yesterday.

Rainbow Dash began to pull herself up from the fluffy floor and rotated her still aching wings. After making sure they worked normally she yawned and made her way to the front door and out onto the small cloud balcony. Get answers this time she told herself jumping over the edge. Dash spread her wings and let the wing catch them turning her fall into a gentle glide. She spotted Sugarcube Corner in the distance and she wasn’t going to leave until she had answers.

Diving down for a landing she heard a familiar almost boyish voice from below yelling about something. It’s that retarded pegasus that keeps breaking stuff. What is she yelling about? Dash thought.

“Somepony help me! Anypony!” Derpy screamed dragging a motionless pink pony out of Sugarcube Corner.

---

*Beep Beep Beep*

*Smack*

A grey hoof came down hard on top of the Alarm Clock. 9:30 AM. Derpy groaned and rolled herself back under her covers and tried to get back to sleep. Today was a stay home from work holiday called Derpy Day. The day she named for when she did something phenomenally stupid and they had to rebuild her work place. At least this time it wasn’t entirely my fault and they didn’t connect me to the bomb so yay no extra debt. Derpy thought while squeezing the pillow around her face. “Sigh” Yeah I’m not getting back to sleep.

Derpy rolled over and stared at her cracked ceiling. What am I gonna do to today. She placed her  fore hooves on the bed and pushed herself up onto her haunches. “yawn” Derpy stretched out her wings and fore hooves and rubbed her head against her shoulders to clear the sleep from her eyes.

Derpy’s eyes shot open and she sat in stone shock. The smell of sweat, hers and… they had two different scents; she hadn’t noticed how different the scents of other ponies were. Her breath wafted around her shoulder, stale spit and meat, she never tasted or smelled raw meat before…  There was something else a stronger, muskier scent. She pulled her head out of her shoulder but it was still there. She sniffed harder trying to figure out what it was. Giving up Derpy slumped over resting her head on the bed. On her next breath it filled her nostrils, her eyes shot open and a blush spread across her face in realization.

Derpy sat back up and looked down between her legs feeling sick at the scents of last night. She swallowed hard forcing the… whatever it was coming up her throat back down. Tears stated to form in the grey mares eyes.

”No… no” she quietly whispered. “I’m disgusting…” She could feel the tears start to roll down her face. She stood up and quickly trotted towards the kitchen whispering “I gotta get clean.” under her breath over and over again.

Derpy stared at the sink that she used to clean herself in lieu of owning… affording a bathtub and the rag she used to scrub. She picked a mixing bowl off the counter and quickly filled it with water. Derpy tipped the bowl over her head pouring water and a little batter that was left in the bowl down her body before it cascaded over the floor. Again and again she dumped more water on her head until a puddle covered her kitchen floor

“Well that’s bathing done.” Derpy said to herself in a nervously upbeat voice with a crooked smile spread across her face. “Now for some breakfast.”

Derpy opened her cabinet and looked inside. Dry oats and crackers sat on the shelf; she sighed and pulled the oats out. I wish I could afford something better like waffles or pancakes. I thought I had something else in here. Derpy trotted through the kitchen her hooves splashing across the floor and entered the living room / bedroom. She placed a bowl of oats and a tumbler of tap water down on the table to eat.

Calmly finishing her breakfast Derpy sat at her table and stared at her front door. So what’s next today? she asked herself. No answers came to her question. They never came to that question, at least not before last night when she was invited to go to the Nightmare Night Festival. It hit Derpy what was missing from her cupboard. I was supposed to get candy last night… She had psyched herself up for that Festival just her and her friend. Just like everypony else enjoying the festivities with a friend.

A small sob escaped the mares lips. What’s next today? Dealing with this is next today. Figuring out what I am going to do about what happened, about my frie… Pinka… about… Derpy struggled to even think the name. Pink… Pinka…

“PINKAMENA!!!” Derpy shouted at the top of her lungs. Pinkamena, Pinkamena, Pinkamena Diane Pie. I am a clumsy mare, a cross eyed mare, a lonely mare, a sad mare, a poor mare, a pathetic mare, a scared mare but I am not a cowardly mare. I haven’t had family since I was sixteen, I spent three years without a home, doctors said I would never fly with these eyes, the city council said I shouldn’t fly and my parents named me bucking Derpy Hooves for Celestia’s sake. I will not cower at her name; I will not cower at that mare. I will not cower, I will confront her. Derpy pumped herself up.

Are you asleep?... I’m sorry. I don’t know why I… I think I… I love you… Sleep well. The voice played through Derpy’s mind, the last word she had heard Pinkamena say. Pinkamena and her smart flank smirks, her childish giggles, her imaginary friends, her overactive imagination, her calming attitude, her suffocating presence, her constant inappropriate touches… her beauty. It didn’t all feel bad… last night. Derpy thought with a little self-disgust.

“Why would that psycho want me?” Derpy whispered turning her head towards the mirror, a messy maned wall eyed pegasus with a little batter on her check stared back.

Find out then. Derpy thought wiping the gunk off her face and trotted out the front door not even noticing the Cloud Castle that occluded her view. She spread her wings and took off for down town Ponyville and Sugacube Corner.

---

Derpy circled above Sugarcube Corner. Breath normal, you can do this. She slowly began her descent landing at the front door. Taking a deep breath she pushed it open and walked in. Sugarcube Corner only had a few ponies milling around inside, after Nightmare Night most had all the sweets they could want. Behind the counter sat a blue mare… Her name is… Mrs. Cake or something.

The older mare turned towards Derpy and said “You're Derpy aren’t you. Pinkamena’s new friend right?” There was an air of eager hopefulness in her voice.

“Yes… ma’am.”

“Come, come here Derpy. What’s your favorite treat.”

Derpy could see the cold stares of the ponies around her. Mrs. Cake treating the arrival of the unpopular friend of the most unpopular pony in town with joy. It isn’t enough that they ignore us and whisper behind are back but they seem almost offended that we can happy without their approval. She is still my friend right? Derpy sighed approaching the counter.

“Well which is your favorite?” Mrs. Cake prompted.

“Umm…  cinnamon rolls? I like those.” Derpy replied.

Mrs. Cake pulled a Cinnamon Roll from behind the counter and handed it to the pegasus. “On the house. I am very happy that… Pinkamena has a friend again. She seems brighter, so… thank you. I think she is upstairs.”

Well I get free snacks out of this, that’s a plus. Derpy took the her treat and walked up the stairs to Pinkamena’s room. Derpy wrapped a hoof against the door. “Pinkamena you in there? Pinkamena!” Derpy opened the door and stepped inside. No pony was inside, just a pile of rocks wearing a baseball cap.

Where could she be?... Who am I kidding I know the answer to that.  Derpy stepped out of Pinkamena’s room and slowly began to make her way down the stairs. Time seemed to pass slowly for the mare but eventually she cleared the stairs and found herself at the beginning of the hallway. She passed room after room coming to the last room on the left of the hall, the cleared out storage room. Her hooves shook and she bit down on her lower lip. Forcing down her anxiety she pushed the door open and descended down the stairs into the storage room.

Derpy wasted no time making her way across the room ripping up the carpet and pulling the trap door open. Here goes. She took a step down and stopped. What do I say her? What will she do to me down there if she doesn’t like what I have to say… I didn’t get this far to turn tail and run. Derpy continued down the stairs.

The room was pitch black and Derpy couldn’t see a hoof in front of her face. There was no sound coming from the room. Last time she was here Derpy didn’t see much, only a single candle illuminated the room and that table. Pinkamena’s voice ran through her head. You shouldn’t have come down here Derpy. You really should not have. Derpy shuttered. Well I’m here now, I might as well look around. Maybe there is a light. Derpy hoofed around for a light switch, it brushed against it. Here goes.

*Click*

Derpy’s eyes darted around the room. Well it’s about what I expected it to be. Bloody hoof stains on the wall, incoherent words scratched into the brick, piles of bones some made into crude furniture and chains from the ceiling with skulls hung on them. Clothes of all kinds hoodies, dresses, aprons, hoof gloves and hats made of  pony hide hung on the wall. There was a large blood stained drain tub with taps and a shower. Even her torture chamber has a shower but I am still stuck using my kitchen sink… Derpy sighed. Not the time to be thinking of that. In the corner there was a messy work bench. Sheets of paper, books and party hat lay on the floor around it. Derpy picked up one of the books labeled journal.

I was expecting to be… well… shocked by this. But it's just about everything I figured it would be Derpy turned around and “Ahhhhh!” Derpy’s fore hooves covered her mouth stifling her scream. Lying on the floor next to the table was Pinkamena surrounded by various sharp objects. “Pinkamena I’m sorry I just wanted to… to… I just want to talk and I thought you were down here umm… didn’t think you were down here when I…” Derpy rambled.

“Pinkamena?... Pinkamena are you alright?” Pinkamena didn't move lying still on her side. “Pinkamena?!”

Derpy slowly walked over to the body and poked it with her fore hoof. No response. Derpy started to panic. “Pinkamena wake up!!!” Derpy put her fore hooves on the pink body and began shaking her back and forth. The mare didn’t move. Derpy rolled over the body and put her fore hooves on either side of Pinkamena’s head and shook her. “Please wake up.” Out of the corner of her lazy eye she spotted a needle on the ground next to an overturned bottle. She picked up the bottle and read the label, Sedative 3 doses. Derpy gulped. Calm down Derpy think.

Derpy laid her head down on Pinkamena’s throat and listened. Her breathing was slow and shallow. Derpy lifted her head and looked around the room. I could just leave her here to… I could just go. She turned back to the mare and ran her fore hoof down her mane. Her coat felt warm. Her face looked peaceful, no smirk no scowl, no bright smile just calm. Derpy leaned in close and felt her stale breath on her face, it reminded her of the kiss from last night. Derpy pressed her muzzle against the pink mares. Last time I was the one struggling to breathe. Funny... the irony. Derpy bit down on the pink mane and began pulling the mare towards the stairs. Deep down she wasn’t entirely sure if she should be doing this, if she should be saving her but she was. The thought of Pinkamena’s death hurt her there was no denying that so she pulled the mare up the stairs.

Derpy reached the top of the stairs and kicked the trap door shut behind her. She pulled the mare out of the storage room then shut the door. She dragged Pinkamena down the halls and out through the shop past a group of shocked ponies. All I have. Those words kept a steady tempo in her head, her body felt like it was on autopilot. Derpy walked out into the street followed by a panicked Mrs. Cake and a few curious onlookers.

Derpy took a deep breath and then yelled for help.

---

Rainbow Dash sat in the waiting room of the hospital, completely speechless. She just froze up when she saw Pinkamena being dragged into the street. She was so still, just lying there while that wall eyed idiot and Mrs. Cake freaked out. All Rainbow could do is stare at the scene while some pegasus pulling an ambulance picked her up. Mrs. Cake and Derpy got in with her and took off just leaving her floating there. Now she just sat in the waiting room to find out if her friend was alive. Mrs. Cake was in there right now and she took Derpy with her. The nurse said that immediate family and the ponies they invite only.

Why is Derpy in there of all ponies. When did she and Pinkie get so close. Dash thought with a hint of anger. She didn’t have much time to think as the doctor trotted into the waiting room towards Dash.

“You’re a friend of Pinkamena’s right?” He asked.

“Yes, is she going to be alright?” Dash replied the worry clear in her voice.

“It looks good, she accidentally took an overdose of sedatives for sleep troubles. She is stable for the moment but she isn’t going to wake up for a while.”

“Sedatives?” Dash asked.

“Yes it seems she had some sleep troubles, her friend Derpy found her passed out in her room this morning. She said Pinkamena often played loose with her medication. It wasn’t prescribed but mail order. The government really needs to crack down on these sorts of things, self-medication is extremely dangerous.” the doctor said irritation clear in his voice.

“You should talk to her about this.”

“Oh…  okay so umm when can I visit her?”

“Friends will be allowed to visit tomorrow; she should be awake by then.” The doctor walked back through the doors into the hospital.

Damn it, damn it, damn it! What the hell happened? Why did this happen? This was supposed to be the day, the day I fixed this… Every day was supposed to be the day. Dash thought glumly. This… why sedatives, what the hell happened. Just another uncomfortable question I have to ask her. Why is she friends with Derpy of all ponies, she must be desperate to hang out with that idiot. Dash’s mind ran through her situation and she started to wonder what she would do about this.

The others, they will come through for Pinkie, when they find out what happened to her they will all show up and support her. Tomorrow we’ll all come together and give her support; things will finally get back to normal. Pinkie won’t have trouble sleeping or have to hang around with the idiot. Things will be better for everypony.

Dash stood up and made her way to the door. She prepared to take off giving one last look at the hospital, which was when she spotted Derpy walking out.

“Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here?” Derpy asked walking towards Dash.

Rainbow Dash looked at the mare, that stupid boyish voice, those bucked up eyes and that eager grin that is plastered in her stupid face 24/7. Dash swallowed her disdain. “Visiting Pinkie Pie of course.” Rainbow Dash replied. “and you?”

“I found her. She’ll be fine the doctors told me. I can talk to her tomorrow when she wakes up.” Derpy replied.

“Are you her friend?” Dash asked.

Derpy paused for a moment and then replied. “Her best friend.”

“I’m her Best Friend not you. Just because you show up while she is a little sad doesn’t make you her anything.” Dash yelled in rage at the grey mare.

Derpy’s goofy smile got a little larger. “How would you of all ponies know that?” Derpy leaned in close to the cyan mares ear and giggled softly before whispering. “You know what Pinkamena says about you? She says you’re…”

*Woosh*

Dash felt Derpy’s wing brush against the side of her head as she took off into the sky. Maybe she isn’t as dumb as I thought. Dash thought while watching the grey mare retreat into the distance.

---

Derpy landed in the Poniville park and sat herself down under a tree. She stretched out her hooves and relaxed. That was fun. She pulled out a paper bag from between the feathers of her wings and pulled out the cinnamon roll she had been saving. She picked a small piece of it off and popped it in her mouth. Let’s get started.

Derpy reached her muzzle into her wing and pulled out a small book. Derpy dropped it onto the ground in front of her. The book was bound in a soft fabric. Pony Hide Derpy thought running her fore hoof over it. The title “Journal“ was stitched across the cover. No more hiding from the truth. If I am gonna be friends or whatever we are now then I need to know everything. Do your worst Pinkamena.

Entry #1 Diamond Mint.