Doctor Bees goes to Equestria
by ROBCakeran53
First published
What's this? An entire world inhabited by talking equines? This inner dimensional portal full of bees outta put a stop to that.
What's this? An entire world inhabited by talking equines? This inner dimensional portal full of bees outta put a stop to that.
A New Beegining
(From the journal of Miles Manners, Beeologist.)
I have done it. After countless hours of research and hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars, I have cracked the code. I have always known there were other worlds out there, teeming with life. I could sense the bees that inhabited them. They would buzz to me in my sleep. So I knew if they were contacting me, I must be able to contact them. By cracking the Waspatory code I have discovered a honeycomb of universes much like our own. It links our planet to another through some sort of interdimensional bee portal.
Using my Bee Vision, I was able to channel through a bee on this other planet. It is a bright, beautiful planet full of amazing things. However, I do not see anyone protecting its citizens from the everyday un-bee justice that plagues their world. So soon I shall go there to deliver some much needed Beeietic Justice.
Later that very same year...
“Hello, I am doctor Miles Manners, wasp themed Superhero by day, but at night I become the masked vigilante known as Doctor Bees! Sworn to protect my citizens with my amazing bee themed super powers, I fight crime and deal punishment the bee fashioned way. But today marks the next chapter in my expanding autobiography. For you see, I am in the process of visiting another world in need of righteous bee justice. This experience so far has left me with a falling sensation. Which, oddly enough, I am doing just that from approximately several miles from the ground.
“No worries, however, for this parachute full of bees oughta put a stop to that.”
So with a pull of the chute cord, countless dead bees flew out of the now useless bag.
“What? My bees have failed me? Oh curse this dreaded high atmosphere. With the ground quickly approaching, no signs of help, and the inability to stop speaking out loud, I fear I may have finally reached my end.”
This situation looks grievous indeed. With no signs of bees, will this be the end of our brave bee hero?
“What is that? Do I hear the unmistakable sound of bees approaching?”
You do?
“Yes, it is! I shall use my bee scent to draw their attention.”
Raising his arms up high, the odorous, volatile stench of Doctor Bees spread, drawing bees from just below to aid him and nearly killing everything else. In a single fluid motion they layered themselves into a finely woven carpet, catching Doctor Bees in time.
“A bee carpet ride. This is something I could only ever dream of back home. And here it is a reality.”
Scooping a bunch of bees into his hands, he brought them to his face and inhaled, passionately exhaling in near orgasmic glee at their scent. When he drew his hands back, many of the bees remained on his face, making a bee beard.
“The bees here smell so fresh, as if they had been cleaned regularly by someone other than me. This place really is magical. My bee brothers, sisters, and estranged cousins, show me this beeutiful place.”
And so the bee carpet flew on, guiding Doctor Bees on a tour of this new world.
“This place's beeuty is just too much. Combined with my speaking aloud and the rhythmic buzzing, I cannot suppress my urge to break into song.”
Oh God…
“What is this place,
“Filled with so many wonders.
“Casting its spell,
“That I am now under.
“Bees in the trees,
“And bees attacking that bunny.
“Bees flying free,
“And bees with their honey.
“HOOOONEEEEEY!
“Oh, what a beeutiful place,
“Sure am glad I didn’t land on my face.
“If I knew this world had so much to see,
“I'd have come here sooner and brought more bees.
“Yes I, love, all, these, BEEEEEEES!”
After his... “musical” number, Doctor Bees's new found friends set him onto the ground.
“What a joyous and welcome ride to safety. I thank you for your services, but I must now ask of your aid once more, for you see I have come to this world of yours to help its people. For me to do so, I must first construct a new hive so I may rest my bee bum. Tell me, is there a suitable location?”
“Bzzz bzzz. Bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz.”
“I see, there is a lone cottage inside a tree just up the road. Take me there, brothers!”
Later that very same day...
“Nananananananana DOCTOR BEES!”
“Bzzz bzzz.”
“Rest assured Buzzworth, my totally original theme song is inaudible to anyone other than myself.”
“Bzz…”
“Ah, we are here. There are many non-bee creatures roaming around. Are you sure this place is suitable?
“Bzz bzz.”
“Very well, lead me to this “Fluttershy” you so humbly speak of.”
-----
Inside the cabin, Fluttershy was enjoying some quiet time to herself. She gave a light blow to cool the cup of tea she had poured. It was a peaceful time, mostly because her dear friend, Angel, was taking his mid-afternoon nap. She peered out the window, smiling in the glory of Celestia’s sunlight. Yes, today was such a beautiful day, and not even a cranky white bunny could change that.
But unbeknownst to her, a visitor would soon be knocking at her door-
CRASH!
“Knocking is for sellout pussy superheroes like Superman. Real crime fighters use any and every chance to show their heroism, strength, and manliness, no matter how mundane the task may be.”
...or he just kicks down Fluttershy’s door.
“Now, where is this Fluttershy? I only see a cowering yellow pony under a table.”
“Bzzz bzzz bzz bzzzz.”
“What? That cowardly yellow pony is this Fluttershy you spoke of?”
“Bzz.”
“I see.” He turned to the pony who was still shaking intensely. Without even considering if the pony could speak or even understand him he spoke. “Fear not, little pony, I am here in peace. And not that lame, non-violent peace, but the kind of peace that kicks crime’s ass in the name of justice. I come before you in need of a place to stay so I may do just that for your world, and seek your hospitality and friendship.”
Fluttershy stopped shaking, and stuck her head out from under the table. Her tea cup sat atop her damp mane.
“F-friendship?”
Doctor Bees extended his hand towards her in a gentle gesture. Smiling, his face beaming with innocence that nearly rivaled Fluttershy’s, he nodded.
“Yes.”
Fluttershy placed her hoof into his hand, and he pulled her upright from under the table. After placing her tea cup on the table and whipping off what tea she could from her head, she spoke.
“Um, would you like some tea, Mister…?”
“You can just call me Doctor Bees, masked vigilante.”
“Oh, I see.” Fluttershy said, unsure if he realized he wasn't wearing a mask.
“And I would love some.”
Fluttershy poured another cup of tea for herself, and one for her guest.
“Do you have any honey?”
The question took Fluttershy by surprise. “H-honey? Um, yes, I suppose I do.” she walked into her kitchen for a moment, quickly retrieving a small bottle of honey, “But what do you-”
Doctor Bees took the bottle, greedily pouring as much of it as he could fit into his cup of tea. Fluttershy looked on in astonishment.
“So, um…” Fluttershy thought carefully of what to ask. Would it be too rude to jump into what exactly he was? Or should she start more casually? “W-what do you do, Mister Bees?”
“Please, Doctor Bees is fine, preferred, and trademarked.”
“So you’re a doctor?”
“Yes. A crime fighting doctor, delivering a prescription of pain and justice on the wrong doers of the world.”
“So you help other ponies? I mean, help whatever you are.”
“Who, or what I helped before is in the past. I am now here to help you!”
“Oh my, how noble of you. But won’t the… people where you’re from need you?”
“It is quite alright. I have left the fate of my world in the capable wings of my highest ranking official, The Buzzinator.”
BACK ON EARTH
“OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?”
“RUUUUUN! IT’S COMING THIS WAY!”
“IS THIS ONE OF THAT CRAZY BEE GUY’S EXPERIMENTS???”
From around a street corner, a massive robotic bee, easily twenty stories tall, stomped on a car, crushing it like a flower.
“BUZZ. KILL. DESTROY. STING.”
From its antenna, lasers rained down onto the street full of fleeing, screaming people.
BACK ON EQUESTRIA
“They will be just fine.” Doctor Bees nodded reassuringly.
Fluttershy, less assured, nodded and sipped at her tea. Something about this… man? She still didn’t know what he was… something about him was unsettling. Almost as if simply being around him would be disastrous.
“Mmm, that honey was so sweet, so golden rich and full of love. As if the bees made it purely for you.”
Fluttershy blushed. “Well, they did put a lot of work into it. You see, two years ago I helped them with finding a suitable tree to nest in after my friend Applejack accidentally-”
There was a sudden crash as the cup Doctor Bees was holding fell to the ground.
“You… helped them?”
Fluttershy stammered, “Um, y-yes, of course. I help all the little creatures that I can. It’s what I do.”
Doctor Bees rubbed his chin in deep contemplation.
“Can it be…?” He leaned close to Fluttershy’s face, causing the meek pegasus to cower into her chair.
“W-what is it?” Fluttershy whispered.
“There are not many who understand the way of the Bee. I have had many apprentices come and go, most failing to fully grasp what it means to be a crime fighter in the name of bee justice. The rest were ironically allergic and had to be disposed of at the local pig farm.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
Doctor Bees stood up abruptly, startling Fluttershy.
“It’s settled then. We must perform a test, to decide whether you are truly worthy or not of being my sidekick.”
Fluttershy stared blankly at the man. “Um… what?”
“You see, we do not simply choose to become what we are, but we are chosen to become what we are meant to be chosen to be.”
Fluttershy continued her blank stare.
“I was chosen at a young age to take up the mantle of Doctor Bees. I was a nobody, worthless to the world. No purpose. But then one day that all changed.” He suddenly grabbed onto the tablecloth. “FLASHBACK!”
Fluttershy hid behind her wings from the shout and the rapid reverberations of porcelain crashing to the ground. When she gathered the courage to look she found herself staring at a white table cloth hung on the wall. The same cloth that was on the table, itself now only holding the single tea kettle.
From his briefcase (when did he bring that?) Doctor Bees brought out what looked like a old fashioned film reel and a small projector. With a much practiced stride he set it up, wound the film, and closed the window shades.
“Buzzworth, lights, if you would.”
The lights went off, and the projector came to life. There was no sound, except for the motor of the projector as it started.
What caught Fluttershy’s attention first was the giant maple tree taking up most of the screen. Erratically, it zoomed back, then slightly forward again, trying to focus on a small boy and larger woman. The camera then settled, and a man ran into view and stood on the other side of the little boy, all three of them smiling and waving.
Fluttershy caught a glimpse of Doctor Bees waving back. A little weird…
The scene then skipped forward to them sitting on a blanket, enjoying a picnic. Fluttershy couldn’t suppress a giggle when the woman dabbed some white cream onto the boy’s nose. They looked so happy, so peaceful, just like a family should be.
“This is when the magic happens.”
Fluttershy’s brow rose, then looked back to the screen. The man swatted at something, and immediately began to panic. The woman started flailing her arms around, swatting at barely noticeable black dots. The boy, however, continued to sit in ignorance, enjoying his sandwich.
Fluttershy watched in horror as more people became visible on the camera, all screaming and running around. And yet the boy just sat there, unphased. Then, one by one, they began to drop to the ground, still. The woman from before crawled into view, grabbing onto the boy’s leg and said something.
The boy looked down to her, placing a hand on hers. He removed her hand from his leg, stood up, and walked towards the camera. He grabbed a marker and paper, wrote something, and showed it to the camera.
“This is my audition for the side kick of Doctor Bees”
Then the screen went white as it hit the end of the film. The lights clicked on, and Doctor Bees stood up. It was quiet for several minutes as Fluttershy couldn’t look away from the blank screen.
“Summer of ‘74. That was when I became the sidekick to the former Doctor Bees. With years of training and fighting crime, eventually one day I took his mantle.”
Fluttershy almost paid no attention, still lost in the nightmare she had just witnessed. Bees attacking innocent people like that? Unheard of!
“And now, Fluttershy, it is time to test your power over bees.”
“W-what? No, no I don’t think-”
“Be sure to meet me at the school in half an hour. I have some preparations to make.”
“T-t-the school? How do you know-”
CRASH!
Fluttershy winced from the sound of breaking glass. Now with two holes in her home, she’d be needing to find a repair pony to fix all this mess.
“I wonder if Big Macintosh is free…” she shook her head, “No, first thing, I need to get to the school yard. If this turns out anything like that horrible movie… oh no, I just couldn’t bear to know I could have done something to stop it. I know, I’ll see if somepony else can help.”
“I can help!”
Fluttershy jumped from the sudden and quite cheery voice.
“Oh, Pinkie, you startled me. But… that’s good, because I need your help. Can you meet me at the Ponyville School?”
“Sure!” Pinkie replied, peering in through the shattered window. “I’m sure Twilight will be there too, since she’s following me and all that.”
“Why is she following you?”
“Pinkie Sense.”
Fluttershy, needing to hear no more, only nodding. It was a wonder it took Twilight this long to catch onto the oddities of Pinkie.
“Okay, good, maybe Twilight can help explain something about this Doctor Bees.”
Author's Notes:
I regret nothing for making this.
In all honesty, this fic is me trying to get out of a massive slump I've seemed to have fallen into. It's only planned to be a few chapters, so with any luck I'll have this finished while I'm getting chapter four of The Replacements ready for posting. I'm not gonna say when that will happen, since I'm sure many of you have noticed I'm full of broken promises, so I'm not even gonna suggest when anything will happen.
Edited by me wonderful friend, Cthuluigi.
Feeling Pinkie Bee, aka, Twilight gets stung a lot part 1
Author's Notes:
Was the wait worth it?
Probably not.
HAVEN'T SLEPT IN EIGHTEEN HOURS, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!
Chapter 2
Fluttershy ran as fast as she could. She had upset many of her animal companions when she ran out, but insisted that it was alright and for them all to stay. If something did go wrong, she didn’t want any of them to get hurt.
She had instructed Pinkie Pie to go evacuate the school house and tell Cheerilee to be on the look out for anything strange approaching. She would have told her it was a tall, hairless ape with a bee on its head, but Fluttershy worried not even Pinkie would have believed her.
Fluttershy arrived at the schoolhouse in a pant, looking around nervously. Only after she’d arrived had she realized she could have flown to save time and energy. She had expected to find Pinkie Pie first, but was surprised when she saw a familiar purple and pink striped tail sticking out of a bush. As carefully as she could, she approached.
“Oh, Twilight, it’s good to see you’re here. I had hoped maybe Pinkie would get somepony else to help.”
The tail swooshed once.
“Um, listen, I know it may sound very strange, but there is something coming here. I-I mean, something possibly coming here to hurt ponies, but I’m unsure.”
Again, the only response was a tail swoosh.
“Twilight? Are you listening?”
Suddenly, the bush rustled as a tall figure stepped out of it, a identical looking tail of Twilights in his hand, and a very familiar bee atop his head. Fluttershy gasped as horrible thoughts went through her mind.
“This is the first rule of being a superhero, Fluttershy. Deception. You must be able to fool the other people around you, so that you can fool their beliefs and trust like a little child and a free candy van.”
Fluttershy took a step back, unsure what he was going on about.
“Look, come closer and see.”
Before Fluttershy could react, Doctor Bees grabbed a hold of her, dragging her into the bush with him.
“Behold, my first foe in this new world of technicolor.”
Fluttershy looked through the hole that Doctor Bees was making and saw Pinkie Pie, rolling around in the playground. Had she warned Cheerilee?
“Fluttershy, you must learn to differentiate friend with foe. For instance, do you see that young, happy, care free pink ball of cotton?”
Fluttershy nodded, worry building up in her chest.
“To be a true crime fighter, one must look past the innocence of man. Or in this case, pone. We see her enjoying herself, unaware of the evil that comes. That is why we are here, to save her. Save her not only from herself, but from the pedophile in the other bush.”
“The… what?”
Fluttershy looked out again and scanned around the playground. Sure enough, she saw it. Another lavender tail with familiar stripes sticking out of a bush to their left. It had to be Twilight. Maybe Pinkie had warned her as well?
“This is our time, Fluttershy. Time to show you what it really means to be a superhero.”
She watched as Doctor Bees stepped out of the bush, holding what seemed to be a little fillies lunch box, as he stood proudly. Then, with an authoritative tone, he spoke.
“What’s this? A poor, unsuspecting filly being watched without her discretion? This lunch box full of bees outta put a stop to that.”
He opened the lunch box, and from inside a swarm of bees flew out. Fluttershy questioned how he had stuffed so many into such a small container, but soon ignored her curiosity as she watched the bees head for Pinkie! However, Pinkie had begun itching her nose vigorously, and with a start she dove for cover.
The bees ignored her, instead going directly for the bush which Spike had come running out of. Fluttershy flinched every time Twilight yelled in pain, bouncing around in the bush. What had this mad doctor done to the innocent bees to make them attack a pony like that?
“Um, Doctor Bees, sir, that wasn’t very nice.”
He looked down to her. “Yes, but crime fighting is never a nice thing.”
“Well, I need to go check on her and make sure she’s alright.”
“You cannot!” Doctor Bees stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “You cannot be seen yet, otherwise your alibi will be worthless.”
“My… alibi?”
“I currently have Buzzworth and a brave squad of bees giving you an alibi, so that our secret is not known.”
“I don’t understand…”
“It’s quite simple really, for you see-”
SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER
“Oh, I’m so, so sorry. You okay Twilight Sparkle?” Fluttershy asked, carrying well over five dozen frogs in both a basket and magical floating cart. “I just couldn’t stand to see the pond getting so overpopulated. What with all the frogs hopping into each other.”
Twilight mumbled something under her breath, while Pinkie looked up to her yellow friend with a smile.
“I decided to fly as many as I can over to Froggy Bottom Bog.”
With a groan, Twilight responded “Of course you did.”
Cheerily, Fluttershy flew off with a “bu-bye” and was on her way. Once out of sight from the two ponies, Fluttershy made a mad dash for the pond, losing many of the frogs, but thankfully much like cats always landing on their feet, frogs always landed on a ponies face. Coincidentally, this was also the day ponies in Ponyville thought it was the end of the world, but that’s a story for another day.
Once out of Ponyville, Fluttershy reached for something silver sticking from her forehead, unnoticeable unless you could see under her mane. She pulled it down, and in an instant her body fell, revealing an entire horde of bees making the shape of a pony.
Buzzworth, leading the pac, ordered his commands, and flew off. The rest of the bees recovered their disguise, and resumed on their course. If their new almighty leader was to conquer this world, they could not fail at their mission. No matter how much they hated frogs.
BACK TO PRESENT
“So you see, Fluttershy, you cannot reveal yourself yet.”
“But… the pond was overpopulated with those little froggies because we’ve been having a fly epidemic, and they were helping keep them from overpopulating.”
“A noble sacrifice, dear Fluttershy.”
“But, what about Twilight?” She asked, looking worried as a few bees still remained, stinging Twilight’s cutie mark.
“She will be fine. She has learned her lesson. Once you feel the wrath of Super Bee Justice, you can never go back to crime.”
“Is it really that powerful?”
“Yes. Also covering the bee’s stingers in antifreeze gives them a special little kick, one they will feel for days.” Doctor Bees stood up, the bush attached to his waist with suspenders. “Come, Fluttershy, you must begin your next lesson if you are ever to become my side kick.”
Fluttershy stopped, looking puzzled. “Y-your s-s-side kick? What for?”
Doctor Bees reached down, picking Fluttershy up from under her armpits. They lacked the scent of a bee super hero, for now…
“Dear Fluttershy, do you not see it yet? The in-bee-justice that is afoot? What we are doing?” Fluttershy shook her head. “You will soon, my dear. You hold within yourself a very special power, one that few have.” He pressed a finger on her chest.
Fluttershy looked down at his finger, unsure how he was still holding her up with both hands as he did so.
“I-I'm not sure. I don't want to hurt anypony, especially using my little bee friends.”
Doctor Bees smiled. “Rest assured Fluttershy, we are not hurting them. We are merely scolding them, much like spanking a bad child's bum. They will survive.”
From the school yard, Twilight screamed.
“Mostly survive. Regardless of the consequences, I need you. This world needs you! And if this world cannot rely on our bee justice, then who can they rely on?”
“Mare Do Well?”
“She is still a season away. They need us now Fluttershy. So, what will it bee?”
Fluttershy thought hard about it. While Doctor Bees appeared to be ten kinds of wacko, he showed a lot of determination to help everypony here. Maybe, if she were at his side, she could help make sure he didn’t hurt anypony, and do some good for Ponyville.
“Okay, Doctor Bees. I’ll help you.”
Doctor Bees smiled, adjusting his monocle. He was still holding onto Fluttershy.
LATER THAT VERY SAME EPISODE…
Pinkie Pie trotted happily along the edge of the woods.
“Gosh, that was quite the adventure. First running around looking for Fluttershy, then playing around in Froggy Bottom Bog, then finally being chased around by a hydra! Oh Narrator, you shoulda been there. It was a blast.”
Luckily, this narrator is only contracted with Doctor Bees, otherwise he’d be demanding overtime.
Anyway, Pinkie Pie continued on her trot, admiring the scenery as she went. She hadn’t understood why when they found Fluttershy she was trying to gather all the frogs again, but she just figured it was from stress. After all, searching for a mysterious bipedal creature with a bee on his head takes a lot out of you.
“Also I don’t let plot holes keep me down!”
That’s the spirit!
“Hey, what’s this?” Pinkie asked no one in particular.
Laying in a heap was a yellow and pink costume. She picked it up, checking it over with curiosity.
“Ohmigosh! It’s a Fluttershy costume! I could tooootally use this at some non-relevant point in the distant future!”
Pinkie threw the suit over her back, continuing her merry trot/bounce/whatever she does home. Unbeeknownst to her, however, a figure lurked in the background; it’s mind abuzz.
Bzzzt. Bzzzt.
Doctor Bees answered his bee phone, set on vibrate in order to not interrupt the narrator. Wait...
“Buzzworth?” Doctor Bees spoke into the cellular device, glaring at the pink pony, “Initiate phase two.”