Author's Notes:

Original letter here.

Dear diary:

Having watched the complete failure of any and all methods Twilight had planned, as well as how easily she carried her own saddlebags, I am now convinced that the sole reason she packed so many things into my saddlebags was to see their weight dragging me down. Honestly, why did she even carry her own bags? She could have just let me carry them and be done with it.

~Fluttershy

Dear McColt family:

Would you mind sharing a few of your pumpkin quesadillas? I have an idea as to how to use them effectively.

Sincerely, Fluttershy.

Dear Twily and Flutters:

Why did you have to make those two inbred families stop arguing? I mean, their feud was so much fun to watch! Not to mention how they utterly devastated the countryside! Seriously, I'm surprised they didn't all join me in the Royal garden years ago!

Sincerely, Discord.

Dear Douchebag pony families:

Please stop chucking produce at us. The multicolored birds were bad enough.

Sincerely, the animals.