Chapter IX

They didn’t stay over Sunday. The early morning air was still cool and crisp from the night, the yellow had since left Rarity and she sat quietly in the back seat of the chariot. Surrounding them were about twenty Pegasi and royal guards, they were headed to Cantorlot. Twilight was going to stay at the castle, Rarity and Spike were to go home to Ponyville.

Unlike her typical alcohol-induced stupidity, the irrational lunacy from the yellow sat perfectly clear in Rarity’s mind. The chariot was silent, as any and all conversations would lead back what had happened. Rarity leaned over the side of the chariot, she had literally no idea what Twilight was thinking. The Alicorn had just called in the police, who had hauled off the would-be bomber. The royal guards had shuttled Rarity and Spike off to their hotel room as soon as they left the apartment. Twilight had spent the night with the police. They passed into a cloud, the fog engulfed them and Rarity wished she could be hidden from view for the remainder of the trip.

“Rarity.” They passed through the cloud, Twilight was looking toward Cantorlot.

“Eyeah?” She asked quietly.

“There are going to be thousands of questions about how that diamond dog got into Cloudsdale, into his claims about the civil war, into the origin of the bombs. He called in his threat to the police at about twelve, we secured the perimeter and started to ask what he wanted. His only demands were to speak to a higher power. We were viewing our options when we had to leave the hotel because of the potency of the explosives. There were a total of nineteen explosive devices attached to both the apartment and the hotel. The police tell me that their detonation would have collapsed three blocks of city. There were over 300 ponies in that area at the time.” Twilight explained scientifically. She looked back at Rarity. The white unicorn cowered from her gaze. “Were you drunk last night?”

“Yes.” She whimpered.

“Did you consider the safety of any of those ponies, or the safety of either myself, Soarin’, or Spike, during your unauthorized negotiations?” Rarity swallowed.

“No.”

“What made the outcome of last night a mixed success as opposed to a national tragedy?”

“Uh, I’m not sure what you mean.” Rarity said after a moment.

“What happened last night that prevented any of those explosives from going off?”

“Well, I guess it was because I threw a kitchen knife into his arm, which made it hard for him to release the switch. Then I broke his arm to make sure.” Rarity explained nervously.

“Were you aware of a dead man’s hand? Or of the possibility of a second switch? Of the possibility of Spike being harmed in your unplanned assault?”

“No.” Twilight paused.

“Did you have any idea as to what you were doing?” She asked bluntly.

“No.” Rarity said shamefully.

For a few minutes, they flew in silence. Spike was looking out into the distance and trying to avoid attention.

“Well Rarity.” Twilight said suddenly. “I have no clue what I’m going to do with you.” She said frankly. She sounded like a parent almost. Her voice was honest and for once in her life, Twilight didn’t sound like she had put prior thought into her words. “There are probably a hundred ponies in varying degrees of power that will demand nothing less than your immediate imprisonment or banishment.” Rarity’s blood went cold with terror, was she going to get thrown into prison? Was this the horrible conclusion of Rarity? The once cultured fashion consultant turned criminal was going to meet her final destination. How horrible for her parents! How horrible for Sweetie Belle! Rarity would kill herself in prison before they came to see her, their shame would be a fate worse than death. Thoughts of the terrible fate that lay ahead filled her mind.

“I have no clue Rarity.” Twilight continued. “As far as anypony knows, it was just me, Spike, and Soarin’ up there. I imagine that nobody saw you in the crowd of police that accompanied us back to the hotel.” She pulled the crown off of her head and matched gaze with Rarity. There was a hopelessness in her eyes, Twilight Sparkle was defeated. “I’m going to let everypony know that Soarin’ made a mistake, that he tried to be a hero. That he interrupted negotiations and attempted to disarm the terrorist. That you were in the hotel room all night.” Rarity rose.

“No Twilight, you have to tell them it was me!” Twilight shook her head.

“If the people find out that a drunken bakerpony stabbed the hostage taker, risking the lives of over 300 ponies, they would want her thrown out of the country. Soarin’ has a career, he has things that protect him. You don’t. I’ve spoken with him and he’s going to make a statement later this afternoon saying he was afraid for my safety. There’s a good chance he won’t be charged with anything.”

“No, please Twilight, kill me, banish me, just don’t make him take the fall. I was the one who fucked up!” Rarity cried. Twilight shook her head again.

“I can’t, Soarin’ said he understood, it’s his choice.”

Rarity was broken and she contemplated throwing herself from the chariot. She had reached the lowest possible point to which a pony could sink. Lying, getting wasted on yellow and now letting a pony she had treated like shit take a fall for her. She was a terrible pony, evil really.

“Rarity, you were my friend. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will still value the things we had. I know we aren’t going to see a lot of each other anymore, but I wanted you to know that there is some good in you. You saved a lot of ponies from Discord with me and the girls. You stopped Nightmare Moon with us. I don’t know if you even care what life has for you, or if you care about aspiring anymore. But I know that no matter what, you can be anything you want.” Twilight said quietly. Rarity started to cry.

“Please Twilight. I’m so sorry. I really want to be a good pony, I know I never show it, but I try, I do.”

“I know Rarity, but you need to show improvement. There are a hundred different ponies out there who say they are trying to act more mature, but only the ones who strive to improve get any better.” They began to descend toward the ground. “Maybe this is the best thing for you, maybe after today you’ll really understand how serious your actions get. Maybe if you get into trouble down the road and you can’t just get bailed out of your consequences, it will make sense. I know you’re a smart pony, but sometimes we all need conditioning.” They landed in a field of grass, Rarity saw her crates sitting a few yards away. Dropping her bag to the ground, Rarity looked up to Twilight.

“I’m sorry.” She said, her voice choked with tears. She saw the queen brush at her eyes.

“You can be anything you want Rarity. Don’t forget that.” The chariot rose into the air and Rarity watched it disappear into the horizon.

She threw her bag beside the wooden containers that held the past. Then Rarity fell to the ground and wept. She was supposed to show that after losing her business to the bigoted whims of Ponyville, after losing her friend Fluttershy to an explosion, after abandoning all that she cared about and dropping her civility, that she could still be a good pony if she tried. She was supposed to show that despite her newfound bitterness and cynicism, she could still hold to a sense of right and wrong if she tried.She was supposed to show her maturity on the trip. Rarity sobbed harder, she had done just that.

Monday came and Rarity took a sick day. She had nothing, there was nothing that mattered to her. Not her fucking job at the stupid bakery, not the stupid and fictional concept of new Rarity. Not anything.

She rolled off of her crate and looked out over the prairie. She felt numb, hollow and worthless. How could she be such a terrible pony? How could she be such an awful friend? She dropped into the grass and lay prostrate. The only thing left was death, after all, she had just spent an entire trip proving her incapability with life.

Somepony came rustling through the grass ahead of her. Rarity ignored it and thought about her impending suicide. How should she kill herself? The rustling grew closer. A blue hoof broke through the grass and stepped on her. She didn’t even notice; the white unicorn was too engaged in her thoughts of self-loathing. Whoever it was noticed and they yelped in surprise.

“Rarity?” Rainbow Dash poked her head timidly through the grass. “What are you doing?” Rarity didn’t respond. A second passed and Rainbow Dash gasped. Rarity felt the Pegasus shake her.

“Rarity! Are you ok?” She asked urgently.

“Yes.” The unicorn answered, her voice muffled by the grass.

“What are you doing?” Asked the puzzled Pegasus. Rarity picked herself up. The blue pony was sitting beside her.

“Nothing, what are you doing here?” She replied quickly. Rainbow Dash looked at her hooves.

“I was coming out to drop off your money for the model. I forgot about it till yesterday and I thought you’d be at work.” She picked at a weed. Rarity sighed.

“Thanks.”

“I’m sorry, I know you said you didn’t want it.” Dash pulled the weed up. “But it didn’t feel right.” Rarity shrugged.

“Doesn’t really matter one way or another.” She said coarsely. The blue pony dropped the weed back onto the earth.

“How was your trip?” She asked softly.

“Fucking terrible. I want to fucking die.” Rarity said darkly. Rainbow Dash pushed the weed under a patch of grass.

“Why?” She asked innocently.

“Because I’m a fucking bitch, that’s why!” Rarity shouted despairingly. The little Pegasus flinched at her outburst. Rarity shook her head. “God, I’m sorry, thanks for the money. I’ll accept it.” She stood up and walked back to her crate and slumped over the side. She looked out to the forest. To where Fluttershy’s cottage lay.

“Did you mess up in front of a dinner or something?” Rainbow Dash asked. Rarity dropped her face to the oaken boards.

“No, I just fucked up. I fucked everything up. Twilight isn’t going to be my friend anymore, I think Spike’s about done with me too.” She said hopelessly. She turned to Rainbow Dash. The sky blue mare was seated docilely in the grass. “Guess the point of it all was that I can’t change myself.” Rarity looked up to the clouds. “That I can’t do anything good, that I no matter how hard I force myself, that I can’t stop being a bitch.”

“Why’s that?” Dash asked.

“Maybe because the Blast fucked me up? Maybe because I can’t move on? I don’t know, if I knew, maybe I could fix it.”

“I mean, what did you mess up at?” Asked the Pegasus. Rarity hesitated, she didn’t want to tell anypony what had happened, but at the same time she did. Rainbow Dash waited patiently. What the hell, it didn’t matter who knew.

Rarity recounted the entire trip for the seated Pegasus. Rainbow Dash sat through all of it, she cocked her head and listened to each mishap as it was relayed. When the account of the trip was finished, Rarity sighed heavily.

“Well, there you go.” She said with a resigned shrug. Rainbow Dash was silent in thought for a time.

“But what did you mess up at?” She asked innocently.

“The crown! I lied to Twilight and I kept lying the whole time! The way I treated Soarin’ was terrible, and now his life is ruined because of me! I got high at the reactor and beat up two guys! I told off Spike and Twilight then went in to the apartment and almost got a lot of ponies killed! There isn’t a thing I didn’t fuck up!” Rainbow Dash nodded slightly.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” She said quietly. “But I guess it doesn’t seem to me like you messed up anything because you’re a bad pony.” She looked up at Rarity. “I mean, the crown seems like something Twilight would get mad at either way and it seems like a pretty good thing to not tell her that Spike knew. And it didn’t sound like you treated Soarin’ badly, I thought you said you just thought badly of him.” She frowned. “Going to the reactor was probably a bad thing, but, well, I don’t think it was so bad, I mean, I understand why you did it. That whole thing with the bombs, I guess, well, I guess it wasn’t a good idea. But I thought you said nopony got hurt, isn’t that a really good thing?” She asked in confusion.

“I barged in and took over for Twilight, I got really close to letting that crazy terrorist walk out of there with Spike and Soarin’. I really only helped at the very end, which was a huge risk that I shouldn’t have taken.” Rainbow Dash thought for a minute.

“What about the good?”

“What good?”

“Well, you took them out to dinner, it sounded like it cost you a lot to get those reservations. You tried your best to make Twilight relax and it sounded like she did. You got the crown back, and repaired, and nopony found out. I don’t know, it sounded really cool how nice you were to Spike the whole time.” She paused in search of the best way to phrase herself. “I guess, well, it just sounded like you were trying the whole time, isn’t that what makes you a good pony, the fact that you try?”

Rarity shook her head.

“No, I honestly thought that for a while. But the fact is, I made everything worse, the crown has burrs, Soarin’ is probably going to lose his career and maybe get banished and Twilight and Spike and like 300 other ponies were in danger because of my stupidity. The fact is, there’s a difference between trying for something and actually doing something. I told myself that things didn’t have to be perfect, that I was improving. But it isn’t improvement if everything you are involved with is worse for your involvement.” She concluded.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Dash said quietly. Rarity sat down next to the Pegasus. It felt good at least to spout off her problems, even if she was still a horrible pony.

“Thanks for listening, and giving a fuck.” Rarity rubbed her face. “I’m not sure I want to go on with my life in all honesty.” She said frankly. Rainbow Dash looked over to her in fear.

“Please stay, for me, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Your being a bad pony doesn’t matter to me.” She pleaded. Rarity picked at some grass.

“Well, there’s at least one pony who I can call my friend, guess I’m not at rock bottom just yet.” She said with a little laugh. Rainbow Dash smiled.

“As long as my friendship is enough to keep you out of rock bottom, then you can be certain of never getting that low.”

Rarity didn’t kill herself, but as she rose the next morning, ate an apple, and started for work, the sluggish feeling of depression hit her. She was right back where she had started, seven months after the Blast, hating her life, herself, and of course, Ponyville. She walked slowly up to the door of the bakery and stood outside for a moment. God she hated baking.

The bakery was cool, it felt odd without a dry heat squeezing the life out of her. She looked about for Mr. Salukas. He wasn’t in the oven room, or the back room, or storage. She approached his office, the thick walnut door blocked any noise from inside. Rarity pushed it open a crack.

“Gain control of her or fire her, you must make a decision Sonny. Don’t think you can push it off any longer.” Ana was pissed over something, which Rarity knew had to be her.

“I will talk to her today.” Mr. Salukas said pacifyingly. “I will address our concerns and see what she makes of them, hurasho?”

“It’s time you stopped coddling them Sonny.” Ana said in irritation. She left abruptly, smacking Rarity’s snout with the door.

“And the other one, the unicorn, where is she on this fine morning?” Ana asked as Mr. Salukas followed her out. “No doubt off playing in a field with that filly from the Sugarcube.”

“No, she will come, Rarity is a good worker.” Sonny said confidently.

“Hey, well, here I am!” Rarity said awkwardly as she pushed the officer door closed. They looked back at her.

“Spying were you?” Ana demanded suspiciously.

“No, just, um, wondering where everypony was.” Rarity said.

“We could have asked you the same question yesterday.” Ana shot back. Sonny stepped between them.

“Rarity, did your trip run late?” He asked.

“No, I just got sick.” Rarity said. “I’m sorry if you or Applecrisp or Ana had to stay late, I’ll work today for free if that makes up for it.” Ana snorted.

“You were with that Apple pony all day.” She said in contempt.

“We didn’t open yesterday Rarity. Applecrisp didn’t come in either. She hasn’t shown up today.” Mr. Salukas explained. He looked to Ana, who was glaring at Rarity. “Well, why don’t you get back to the oven room Rarity? Halve the list and bake that, we won’t worry about running a full inventory right away.” He suggested.

“Ok, I can do that.” Rarity walked by him and entered the oven room. She heard Ana sigh.

They hadn’t opened yesterday, that was actually a pretty serious thought. She pulled the paper list from above the mouth of the oven. She had never really realized it, but she and Applecrisp were literally the workforce of the Lone Star.

Mostly breads today, nothing that would burn easily. She started gather ingredients for rye. Applecrisp hadn’t come in yesterday? That was two sick days in a week. Besides these two times, Applecrisp had never missed a day of work in the time Rarity had known her. Two unexplained sick days in a week, that was something the she wasn’t going to tell Applejack.

Rarity spent about two hours mixing up the various dough batches and recipes for the inventory. Shoving the last loaf into the oven, she walked out into the front end. Sonny was cleaning off the grout on the floor tile. Ana had thankfully gone. Rarity knelt down beside Mr. Salukas.

“Bread’s baking. Need a hoof?” She asked. He grunted and pointed to a filthy sponge. She started to scrub at the moldy tile.

“Was your trip enjoyable?” The stallion asked presently.

“Ah, had some rough luck. My friends, well.” She squeezed the sponge, the brownish water trickled through her hooves. “I kinda alienated them.” She shook her head and dipped the sponge in the bucket. “It’s fine, not anything huge.” Sonny nodded and for a while the pair scoured the mold in silence.

“Are you close to Applecrisp?” Sonny asked randomly. Rarity shrugged.

“Not really, why?”

“She is half of my workforce.” Sonny wiped away a jelly stain from beneath the display case. “She has missed two days of work this week. I want somepony to tell me why. I thought you might be able to ask her.” There came the noise of the door opening and Mr. Salukas rose to attend to a customer. Rarity wiped the tile, she didn’t even know where Applecrisp lived.

“Aha! Mr. Katchapuri! Good to see you!” Sonny said jokingly to the unseen customer.

“Hey, glad to see you too! You didn’t sell out of it did you?” Laughed a familiar voice. Looking beneath the display case, Rarity caught sight of four fire-red hooves on the other side of the counter. No way. She threw her sponge into the bucket and stood up. It was impossible, Audacity was still around.

“There she is!” The Pegasus grinned. “I wondered if you’d be in today! Thought maybe Queen Twilight Sparkle might be giving you a medal or something!” He laughed. She cocked her head, the hell was he talking about? Did he know about her trip? Was he making fun of her? Sonny seemed confused as well.

“What on earth are you talking about? Rarity and Twilight Sparkle?” Audacity was equally baffled.

“You know, Cloudsdale, the diamond dog.” Rarity’s heart stopped. How did he know? The Pegasus looked to Sonny. “You didn’t read about it?”

“No.” Mr. Salukas turned to Rarity. “Do you know what he’s talking about?” Rarity’s mouth was dry and she had a lump in her throat.

“Kinda, I, er, what did the paper say?” She asked apprehensively. Audacity laughed.

“Not the type for the spotlight, that’s really cool. Well, I read that you were with Twilight during the negotiation with the terrorist.” Audacity spoke with an excitement that disturbed Rarity. “Soarin’, the Wonderbolt, he was going to take the guy where he wanted to go. But then he got scared and rushed at the dog with a knife, who tried to detonate the bomb, but then YOU took out his arm and freed Twilight’s secretary, who was also a hostage.” He related. “The queen made a speech yesterday saying that Soarin’ freaked out ‘cause he thought that the terrorist was going to hurt her, and that’s why he botched things with the knife. Then Soarin’ himself made a statement saying pretty much the same thing, kinda weird that neither of them mentioned you.”

Rarity was utterly confused.

“So, then, how did anypony know I was with Twilight then?” She asked carefully.

“They heard you yell of course! Ponies on the street say they heard you slam him against the wall and break his arm!” Audacity flicked his head to her. “Would not have expected a pony like you to be such a beast!” He said in coltish appreciation. Sonny looked at Rarity in complete amazement.

“Rarity, is this true?”

“Yeah, Rarity, tell us the whole thing, I feel like the papers didn’t get it right!” Audacity leaned forward while Sonny turned to face her. Rarity remembered the lies, the things she had said to cover up her actions. She remembered what had happened when they were discovered.

“Twilight invited me on that trip, I was with her to vacation. I shouldn’t have gotten into the negotiations, I was upset with her over something and I didn’t realize where I was going. We, I, um, well we got into the room with the terrorist, and well, we started negotiating.” She stuttered.

“Who did?” Sonny asked.

“Sh-she did, and then, the guy asked for a Pegasus. Annnnnd then Soarin’ came in. And-” She paused, how could she make this sound like something it wasn’t, without actually lying? “Well, he was getting ready to leave and I guess he forgot that he was supposed to set off the bomb, so, then he got stabbed. But I saw that he could still move his arm.” She swallowed. “So I, you know, grabbed his arm and broke it.” She shifted her weight uncomfortably. “Didn’t know I yelled that loud.”

“Oh yeah, I heard the ponies outside couldn’t hear a thing, then they heard you scream about how worthless Soain’ was!” Audacity was grinning with pure admiration. “You must really not like the spotlight, ‘cause there were only a couple pictures of you leaving the apartment with Twilight!”

“I was, upset, I-” He held up a hoof.

“I totally get it, sometime when you’re doing something intense, you can’t really think about how you appear. I get that during races.” He handed a few bits to Sonny. “I oughta get going, I also know what it’s like to have a thousand ponies ask you for the same awesome story, it gets really annoying. Anyway, I just dropped by for my Katchapuri.” He nodded to Sonny. “I still haven’t found any bread with more protein!”

Mr. Salukas handed the athlete a loaf of bread.

“It was good seeing you!” The workhorse turned to Rarity. “Maybe he should drop by more, then I can learn of more those good deeds you don’t mention!” He said jovially. Audacity laughed and departed. Rarity watched him stroll off down the street. She stood motionless, dreading what Mr. Salukas might say.

Mr. Salukas didn’t say anything at first. He let out his breath in a long, almost exaggerated sigh.

“You are full of surprises Rarity.” He pondered. She nodded stiffly. “I know the story is going to change a hundred times over the next few weeks, and likely nopony but those who were there will know the truth.” He put a hoof on her shoulder. “All I want to know is why you did what you did, there are a thousand reasons for risking your life and doing something heroic. What was yours?” She had been high, angry, and focused on herself that night.

“I have no idea.” She stated honestly. He chuckled and patted her on the back.

“That’s what I had hoped.”

The bread finished baking and Rarity helped Sonny clean up the building. He sent her home with a box of muffins and the admonition that she should be certain to tell him next time she did something that warranted a front page article. Rarity was midway through the town when the first few ponies recognized her. She tried to pay them no mind, but eventually, their incessant pleas for autographs and accounts of the story became too great of an annoyance. She scribbled her name onto napkins, books, paper plates and even money. She hashed and rehashed the story of the negotiation, paying careful mind to never say who threw the knife, who did most of the talking, who gave both hostages to the bomber, or who told the bomber it would be a good idea to even have two hostages. She would be a hero only as long as ponies were misinformed of the nature of the events.

“They say he’s still ranting about the war in his cell!” Said one eager fan. “Was that all he was talking about?”

“Um, yeah, pretty much.”

“Did he try and bite you when you rushed him?” Rarity remembered how terrified and helpless the dog had been.

“I was moving pretty fast, so I don’t think he had time to react.”

“Did he say anything about building a fashion design workshop?” Rarity looked up. Snips was standing in the road in front of her. The paste green unicorn wore a smile that oozed with malice. Apparently word had reached the Cutting Room. Rarity shrugged.

“Don’t recall, I basically got sick of his crap and beat him up.” She said with a teasing smile. His eyes narrowed in hate at this barb, but he said nothing. She tried to walk around him, but he stepped in front of her. The young stallion held up a sheet of white paper.

“Would you be so kind as to give me your autograph miss Rarity?” Snips asked in mocking humility. She heard the phlegm destined for the paper rattling in his throat. Daintily picking up the pen, Rarity carefully looped the words “Fuck You” in the most elaborate cursive she knew. She hadn’t finished the U when the glob of spit landed on the surface of the paper. Crumpling up the page, Snips snorted and pushed by her. The ponies around her were silent for a few seconds and a few snorted in disgust.

Then somepony asked her to reenact the arm breaking and the Q and A session continued. Everypony wanted to know just how the attack had happened.

The couch was like a bed, a good bed at that. She sank deeply into the soft leather cushions and Rarity stared at the ceiling of the office; it was painted a beautiful and unsurprising shade of apple red. Applejack’s voice came from across her massive desk.

“Nao, what happened, gimme the whole story.” Rarity heard the farm pony begin to pour herself a glass of cider.

“Well, I guess it starts when Spike said yes to let me come on the trip.” Rarity began after a minute. She sadly recounted the events of the trip, the past few days had made her forget temporarily about her woeful actions in Cloudsdale. She had simply gone to work every day and faced the scores of ponies who wanted to know everything about what had happened. Today she had finally escaped to AJ’s for some decompression. As she informed Applejack of each stupid mistake and lie, she found the depression creeping back into her.

“I don’t even know what Spike thinks, he was totally silent on the trip back.” She brushed away some tears. “Twilight hates me, and even worse, she’s ashamed of me. She said she’s not going to be there to bail me out, she said that might make me learn.” Rarity turned over on the black couch. “She’s right, she’s fucking right, I can’t do anything right, I’m just a horrible evil pony.” There was quiet and Rarity looked back at Applejack. The orange pony was choking with silent laughter. Applejack shook with mirth and a poorly concealed grin was smeared across her face.

“What’s so funny?!” Demanded the white unicorn. Applejack slammed a hoof onto the table and roared.

“Y’told him to kill Soarin’!” She pounded another hoof onto the table and a few papers drifted onto the green carpet. “Ahahahahaha! Gawd, what ah woulda given to see whut he looked lahk when you said that!” She whooped. “He musta pissed that blue jumpsuit a’his.”

“Applejack! I told a terrorist to kill a hostage! How funny would it have been if he actually had?” Rarity asked angrily. Applejack quieted a little.

“Ok, nao, ah will admit that given the circumstances, that mahghta been unsafe.” She started to laugh again, then saw Rarity’s apprehension. “Alls well that ends well raght?”

“What?! No! I lied to Twilight! I broke probably a thousand laws going to the reactor and getting high on yellow.” Rarity started to cry. “I’m worse off now than I was before I went on that trip. I proved that I can’t behave well anymore.” Applejack walked over and put her arm around the disconsolate unicorn.

“Nao, whut gives ya’ll that idea?” She asked tenderly. Rarity shoved her friend away and stood up.

“God dammit Applejack! Why does everypony ask me that? I just fucking explained why! I fucked everything up! I was supposed show that I could be a good pony! But every Goddamn thing got worse!” She shouted. Applejack sighed and motioned for Rarity to sit back down.

“Alraght, listen.” Rarity continued to stand and Applejack motioned again for her to sit down. Rarity didn’t and the Apple pony shrugged and continued.

“Y’didn’t do so bad. Ah know y’made mistakes, but you didn’t make ‘em cause you were bein’ a bad pony. Y’made ‘em cause you were a good pony. Take the crown thing, y’went to get the crown for Twahlight, you nearly got yerself killed to git that crown back.” Rarity started to protest, but Applejack simply talked over her. “Nao, y’dented it in whut can only be described as an expected outcome. Y’got it fixed and kept Spike out of it. Nao ah know yer gonna say that lyin’ about it and trying to keep it from Twah was probably a bad thing.” She frowned thoughtfully. “Maybe it was, but you were just doing it to avoid from makin’ her upset. Nao, you tried yer damnedest to make that trip fun.”

She took a long, protracted breath.

“Nao, the reactor.” Applejack considered this for a moment. “That was probably a pretty unsafe thing t’do.” A smile crossed her face. “But damned if y’don’t have some lick in ya t’whoop two stallions.” She shook her head in disbelieving admiration. “Anyway, it seems like y’got discouraged cause y’took what Twahlight said t’heart. That ya’ll ain’t no good anymoar. Nao, ah wouldn’t speak badly of Twah, you know that, but the fact is, ah don’t think she understands what y’been goin’ through. Fact is, she’s been around them governmental ponies s’long that she pro’bly fergot whut y’been goin’ through. Don’t get me wrong, she’s got a damn hard job, and Lord knows how hard it must be f’her. But the fact is, she doesn’t get it. All she saw was ya’ll lyin’ and she made up her mind that ya’ll were a bad pony.”

“But that wasn’t even the worst part!” Rarity cried. “I probably could have gone home and just chalked it up to a bad trip. But my God, Applejack, I almost got a lot of ponies killed! Do you know just how messed up that is?” She struggled to convey her disbelief at herself. “I made so many mistakes! God, I don’t even know where to begin!”

“Did ya?” Applejack asked thoughtfully. “Seems to me that ya got everypony out of there safely, if ah read the papers raght.”

“Yeah, by the most unlikely pileup of coincidences and dumb fucking luck!”

“Well, ah dunno, ah wasn’t there, and ah shure as hell won’t tell you what went on. But it seems to me that that drunken white unicorn stopped those bombs from goin’ off.”

“I gave him a fucking hostage! I have no idea what I was thinking, but if I were to guess.” Rarity paused, she had no idea what she had been thinking and she threw up her arms in exasperation. “I have no fucking clue what I was thinking!” Applejack stood.

“Yer gonna analyze that lahk y’do everything else. Listen to me Rarity, y’did the right thing up there. From what y’told me, you sounded like the only pony in the room actually tryin’ to get this guy. Ah don’t know if Twah is really so good at handling stuff lahk that, from her words an’ yours, she was jus’ tryin’ t’throw booksmarts at a baseball bat problem. Spike was probably scared shitless.” She chuckled here. “And ah wouldn’t put money on Soarin’.” AJ thumped Rarity on the back. “Y’got the job done, danger or not, y’got it done. Nao, ah wouldn’t make it a habit and Lord knows we need to figure out what this guy’s deal was, so things lahk this never happen. But ah think if Twahlight knew it warn’t going to be a habit with ya’ll goin’ in to harm’s way and makin’ a fool a’yerself, she might not have gotten so mad.”

“But it is a habit! I continually make those bad choices-”

“Stop it Rarity. Yer’ a good pony, just not Twahlight’s kahnda good pony. Y’kept everybody safe up there and y’tried yer best to be a friend. Now y’can’t tell me that ain’t the mark of a good pony.”

Rarity was silent for a time. It made sense. She had tried her best, even if it had all gone to shit.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” She conceded. “Rainbow Dash told me pretty much the same thing but I guess it only makes sense coming from you.” Applejack laughed and nudged her.

“Ah keep tellin’ ya, ya’ll know all this stuff, y’just need somepony to tell ya. Most of yer’ problems are just discouragement.”

“I guess so.”

Applejack chewed her lip.

“Dahmond dogs in Cloudsdale?” She asked Rarity. “That’s the real story here, bombs and terrorists?” She shook her head. “That don’t make no sense. Did it even make sense whut he was sayin’?” Rarity thought for a second.

“Eh, basically he was pissed about how Equestria thinks it rules their nation or something. Twilight said they were having a civil war or something, and he mentioned about how we didn’t understand. I really didn’t get much from it.” AJ knit her brow.

“Guess we don’t have the full story."