Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

It has come to our attention that you have recently issued a Royal Decree forbidding a certain young foal in the city of Baltimare from taking certain actions against another young foal, under penalty of “extended detention.”

The Equestrian Board of Princessly Oversight, established previously by your senior, Princess Celestia—just and righteous is she, may she reign forever, etc.—has raised concerns that this action constitutes an overstep of your duties, rights, and/or powers as a princess. Therefore, you are obligated to attend a hearing in the capital city of Canterlot to assess the legitimacy of your decree.

Additionally, as you will continue to be present in Canterlot post-hearing, you are also obligated to attend an as-yet-undetermined number of meetings relevant to your actual duties as princess. These meetings will include, but are not limited to: tax code reformation, rail line infrastructure plans, and reevaluation of the process for investigating oversteps of duties, rights, and/or powers by a reigning princess.

Failure to attend any of the aforementioned hearing(s) and/or meeting(s) may result in censure by Princess Celestia herself—wisest of us all, radiant as the morning sun, etc.

Regards, Undersecretary Red Tape

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Are you okay? I heard something bad happened to you because of that royal decree you made at school today and I was really worried! I am really glad that you made that royal decree because Ruby Red has been bullying me a lot less in class lately but I don’t want you to get in trouble for it. Can you please take it back so that you don’t have to be in trouble? I will be fine without it I promise.

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Are you getting these? I’m putting the magic stamps on like you said I should and I think they went to Spike but it has been three hours and you still haven’t written anything back yet. I’m worried… Please write back as soon as you can.

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Hello?

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Aurora,

This is Spike. You know, Twilight’s assistant. The one you’re sending all these letters through. I’m sure she’d really appreciate your concern, but she’s in Canterlot right now on important royal business and she hasn’t sent me an all-clear yet for contacting her, so she’s not exactly taking mail right now. I can forward some letters if you want, once she’s done with her hearing.

Pretty sure she’ll be fine, by the way. Twilight’s the only one who’s ever actually read the book on Equestrian law (since it’s taller than I am), so I don’t think they’ll be able to pin anything on her. She should be done with that any day now.

In the meantime, could you try to send letters one at a time? I get that you’re worried, but this is the worst case of indigestion I’ve had since Triple-Stack Sundae Sunday.

Thanks, Spike

Dear Spike,

Okay. I’m sorry for sending so many letters. I was just scared something really bad had happened to Princess Twilight. I won’t send so many anymore.

When her hearing gets better, can you tell Princess Twilight that I met a pony who seems nice at school today? Her name is Bluebell. We met on the playground at school when she saw I had the new Daring Do book and she asked if it it was the new one. I said yes and she said she really liked Daring Do too so she would have to get that. We didn’t get to talk much but I had a lot of fun on the playground today, specially since Ruby Red stopped bullying me.

If it’s not too much trouble can you ask if maybe Princess Twilight could make me another report so I can figure out how to be friends with Bluebell? I know it didn’t work the last time, but Bluebell doesn’t seem like a meanie like Ruby Red was and I’ve gotten a lot better at reading Princess Twilight’s calca calculations, so maybe it would work a lot better now.

Thanks, Aurora

Dear Aurora,

All right, I’ll make sure she gets that.

If you want my professional opinion on it, though, you don’t need to know the coefficient of friendship to the fifth power to make friends. It looks like you’ve already hit it off with her, so maybe find her on the playground next time and just hang out. I mean, if she’s not anything like that Ruby Red jerk I’ve been hearing so much about, you should be fine without knowing the nth-level relationship matrices.

Don’t know if you read those yet in Twilight’s report, but those are a real thing she actually wrote about. I was there when she made them up. You really don’t need to know those to make friends with other ponies.

I mean, she didn’t.

Good luck, Spike

Dear Spike,

Okay.

But you will make sure to ask her still, right?

Good Luck?, Aurora

Dear Aurora,

Yeah, sure. I’ll ask her.

No guarantee she’ll listen to me, though, since nopony seems to be listening to the lowly assistant lately.

Spike

Dear Spike,

So, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the hearing’s finally over, and I walked out mostly unscathed. The bad news is that while the board determined that I was technically acting within my powers as princess, the decree was also considered to be unenforceable. So it’s null in all but name. I don’t know why I had to come to Canterlot and wait three days for them to reach that conclusion, but there it is. Maybe things will go faster next time if I start studying Canterlot politics—know thy enemy and whatnot.

If you can, please tell Aurora I’m sorry. I gave it my best shot, but it seems you can’t actually legislate bullying out of the educational system. Sadly. Hope she’s not too disappointed by that.

Love, Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Great! Told you they didn’t have anything on you. ‘Abuse of power’ my itchy dry scale.

I’ll pass the bad news on to Aurora. I’m sending you another letter here from her about how she’s also met a nice pony named Bluebell. She wants another one of your math essays about how to handle that. You’ve still got those other princessy meetings to go to, and I won’t be there to help you write one up, so maybe you can just give her some general guidance. ‘Hey, hang out and have fun’ or ‘Go do some stuff together’ or whatever.

Stuff without matrices, I mean. Just once, even? Couldn’t hurt.

Love, Spike

Dear Spike,

Please, please don’t say any more about your itchy dry scale. I’ve been trying to put that thought out of my mind. Just keep using the ointment the vet gave you and you’ll be fine.

And don’t be silly. I’ve got more than enough time to work on a fully detailed report for Aurora, plus an addendum on how to deal with bullies. I drew plans for the tax reformation meeting before I left, and I wrote plenty of notes for railroad infrastructure on the train, so that I wouldn’t get derailed. Pun intended.

This is her big chance to finally make a friend in Baltimare, Spike. I can’t just tell her things, all willy-nilly. Maybe Princess Celestia could do that, but I’m not half the princess she is yet, and I still have a long way to go until I get to her level.

Aurora’s a good filly. I think she deserves recommendations backed by sound, mathematically-proofed data, not just whatever I happen to come up with.

Love, Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Well, if you say so. Although probably you could tell her more about how to make friends and deal with bullies than your data could. What was that you used to say back in school, when everyone was giving you a hard time? ‘They can call me an egghead all they want. At least I’m not a peanutbrain.’ And how you stood up to that Trixie blowhard for all your friends’ sake?

Come on, that stuff was gold! You should tell her stuff like that! Not some sciencey mumbo jumbo.

I still think you’re overthinking this and underselling yourself, but you’re the princess here, so… As you wish, your highness.

Just remember that you didn’t get that title for nothing.

Love, Spike (and his itchy dry scale)

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Thank you so much for the new report! Be sure to tell Spike thanks too for sending it to me and for sending this letter back to you. He must be working really hard with all the mail we are sending.

I am going to start reading this new report for Bluebell right away so I can know what to say to her. I don’t need the part about bullies so much though. Ruby Red doesn’t talk to me much anymore. I think it is cause she’s afraid the teacher is watching her now even though you took back your decree. I am sorry that the Equestria Board of Princessy Oversight gave you so much trouble for that. I know you were just trying to help even if you got in trouble for it.

Thanks again!

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Aurora,

It wasn’t any trouble at all. Glad to hear you’re no longer having problems with Ruby Red. I’d still recommend that you read it, though. Just in case. Odds are you’ll run into quite a few bullies over the course of your educational career. You won’t always be able to transfer out, or replace all their comic books with coursework, like I did, so it helps to read some detailed material on how to handle them.

Be sure to tell me all about how things go with Bluebell! I’d love to hear how well my research works, without outliers like Ruby Red throwing off my calculations.

Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I took Bluebell to one of the book club meetings after school today like your report said I should. It wasn’t very fun cause they don’t talk a lot about Daring Do very much and say that’s for younger kids. I really tried to sit through it with Bluebell but they kept talking about books like catcher in the hay and death of a salespony and I kept falling asleep. I think Bluebell didn’t like it very much either cause she said it was super boring and that she hopes that wasn’t really my idea of having fun together.

Did I do it wrong? That’s what your report said to do but I’m not sure…

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Twilight,

The book club? Really?

Can’t you do just a teensy bit better than suggesting two kids should go to the book club to hang out? I know you can.

What about the local bakery or something? We always have a blast hanging out over there with the rest of the gang, especially during Triple-Stack Sundae Sundays.

Which we should totally go to next Sunday, by the way, if you’re back by then. Just saying.

Love, Spike

Dear Spike,

I don’t know! That was the ideal place to go when I put everything into the formula! Admittedly I was crunching numbers while trying to cram in some research for the meeting on rock cultivation, but it shouldn’t have flopped that badly.

And speaking of Pinkie Pie, tell her that her family’s about to get a large and unexpected order of limestone from Canterlot, by the way. Apparently the Pie farm’s limestone is just what some of the public architecture committees have been looking for. Who knew? I didn’t.

Anyway, let me run through things a few more times. I might have dropped a zero somewhere, which could explain why the calculations went off in such a strange direction. I don’t think the local bakery’s going to show up anytime soon, though. Based on everything Aurora’s told me, the numbers aren’t going to be trending in that direction.

Don’t worry, Spike. I’ll figure this out. The data’s good. I just need to apply it in a way that will help Aurora.

Love, Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Ever wonder why Princess Celestia bothered sending us to Ponyville, if the data’s so great?

Spike

Dear Aurora,

Sorry this letter took a little longer to get to you than usual. Spike and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms at the moment, so he’s refusing to forward my mail. You can still use the enchanted stamps I sent you—he’ll probably send your letters along. It just might take some time for my responses to get back.

I’m not sure if Spike realizes that I’m still fresh out of being a student of friendship at the moment. I’m not an authority on the subject yet, nor do I know enough about being a princess for my opinion on a subject to mean anything. All these meetings I’m in are proving that much.

Hard facts and figures, though—those can’t go wrong.

Therefore, I’ve spent some time reworking the numbers on the report, and it turns out that a better friendship-building exercise for you and Bluebell would be to go to your local library and enjoy reading Daring Do books together in a nice, relaxing, quiet environment. I’ve included some of the math that should justify why this is better than the book club was.

Let me know how it goes!

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I am sorry that you and Spike are fighting right now. That is sad because he seemed like a very nice and cute dragon when I saw his picture in Canterlot and you are a very nice princess so I don’t know why you two would be mad at each other. I hope you make up soon.

I tried taking Bluebell to the library like you said. It was kind of nice and I got to re read the Daring Do books again with Bluebell but we didn’t really get to talk much. When I tried to say something to her the librarian said shh and that was kind of the end of it.

I think we might have had fun but I’m not really sure? Your reports are really good but I’m not sure if they are working too good with Bluebell…

Sincerely, Aurora

PS: Sorry I don’t mean that going to the library and the book club aren’t good things, but I do not know if Bluebell is liking them very much.

Dear Aurora,

Well, I mean, there are other things that you two can do together, I just

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I know you said it would take a little while longer to get your letters than usual but it has been a few days and that’s a lot longer than usual so I wanted to try and help so that you wouldn’t have to work so hard to help me. I’m really greatful but I know it’s got to be a lot of work to make all those reports!

So I drew a report for you with some math inside it talking about me and what Bluebell is like. I checked all the numbers with my teacher and she said that she never heard of relationship matrise matrices before but she was really glad that I was taking an interest in math and that I should keep working to get better at it so some of them are right I think.

Thanks again for all you are doing for me. Maybe if this report helps you can finally help me make friends with Bluebell? I really hope so.

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Twilight,

I know we’re not actually on speaking terms right now, but before you write back to Aurora on this, I just want you to think about about what you’re telling her, and if this is really how you want her to learn about friendship.

Love, Spike

Dear Aurora,

I’m very thankful for this report you wrote to me, and the included crayon drawings. I don’t have anywhere to hang this one of you and me together right now, since my old room at Canterlot Castle has more bookshelves than wallspace. As soon as I get home, though, I’ll be sure to get it framed.

Your math is good. It could use some improvement, but everypony’s math could use some improvement—mine most of all. With your formulas, and a good dose of advice from a friend, I’ve managed to come up with some new suggestions for you.

A long time ago, when I was just getting to know my friends in Ponyville, I had a slumber party with two of them. We didn’t know each other very well at first, and maybe my friends didn’t agree with each other very much, but we enjoyed the time we spent together, and our shared experiences brought us a lot closer together as friends—despite the stormy weather and the tree that crashed through my window.

Maybe you can invite Bluebell to your own slumber party, if your parents will allow it. I can’t provide any of the math I used to make this recommendation, but I don’t think you’ll need it this time. Just have fun.

Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. If Spike ever gives you any advice, be sure to take it from him. I’m still learning as a princess, but he’s a much better Royal Advisor than I ever gave him credit for.

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I did what you asked and I asked my parents if we could have a slumber party and they said yes and when I invited Bluebell to it she said yes too and we had a lot of fun! We braided each others manes and we made smores in the fireplace and we talked about our favorite Daring Do books and it was the best time I ever had since we moved from Fillydelphia.

When she left this morning she asked me if I wanted to go with her to the arcade later and I said yes. I think we are really friends now!

And it’s all thanks to you!

Thank you so much!

I will write back to you later and tell you about how it went. Thank you again! I am very glad that I wrote to you. You are the best princess ever.

Sincerely, Aurora

Dear Aurora,

I’m glad everything turned out well. Feel free to tell me anything you discover in your friendship with Bluebell. From one student of the magic of friendship to another, I’d enjoy comparing notes.

I’ll be sure to pass your thanks on to all my friends, and a little purple dragon in particular. I think they should get most of the credit here, for teaching me everything I’ve taught you in our correspondence, if not a bit more. I think there’s a lot I still have to learn from my friends, you included, and if I just listen a little harder, I think I’ll learn a lot more about how to be a princess.

Have fun with Bluebell.

Sincerely, Princess-in-training Twilight Sparkle