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The Equestrian Unicorn Society

by Yukito

Chapter 1: Equestrian Unicorn Society


The Equestrian Unicorn Society. A society established by the unicorns of Equestria, for the unicorns of Equestria. A society where unicorns gathered for the sole purpose of socialising. Tea and biscuits are served, games are played, conversations are had, gossip is spread, beer is broken into occasionally, and even romances are forged at this most wonderful of gatherings.

And who are the ones in charge of this society? The ponies responsible for ensuring these special meetings ran smoothly and oversaw all of the event that transpired?

“Trixie.”

“Yes, Rarity?”

“‘Tis another fine night, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Indeed. Everypony seems to be having a good time once again. And they seem to have taken a shine to our newest member.”

“HEY!” The music suddenly stopped and all eyes turned to the front of the room, where a purple-coated alicorn stood glaring at the three ‘elders’ at the back of the room. “What’s going on? I was never told of any meeting tonight!”

Rarity gulped and laughed nervously at the sudden visitor. “T-Twilight, darling… this is…”

“How did you find out?” Trixie asked, slowly backing away as much as she could in her chair.

“Discord told me,” she explained, “But that’s not the point! I can’t believe this! Why would you host a meeting and not tell me, one of the elders?! Why is Trixie in my seat, and…” Twilight pointed a hoof to the pony sitting beside Trixie. “And why is Sunset Shimmer here?!”

“Twilight, please,” Rarity pleaded, “We were going to tell you, honest, but there was just never a good time.”

“A good time for what?” Twilight asked as she walked closer towards the three elders.

Trixie sighed. “Look, Twilight… it’s nothing personal, but you have to understand that this is the Equestrian Unicorn Society, and you’re a… well…”

“Oh, so because I’m an alicorn you just decide I’m no longer good enough for the club I helped establish? Instead you decide to replace me with- Okay, seriously! How is Sunset Shimmer even here?!”

“I’m a holographic projection,” Sunset explained as she lifted her chalice to her lips.

“You’re holding things!” Twilight pointed out.

“… Hard-light hologram.”

“Twilight, I don’t know what to say.” Rarity climbed out of her chair and circled around the table to her friend, who glared at her the entire time. “But Trixie and I both agreed that the society should be kept strictly unicorn-only. I mean, if we veered off from that path, then we’d be going against the entire reason this society exists in the first place.”

“It exists to spread love and tolerance and to make friends and to discuss magic! We only made it unicorn-only because you were holding a grudge against Rainbow Dash and Applejack!”

“Though it was a good choice,” Sunset said. “Unicorns are the best race, second only to human-demonic.”

“Trixie still says you’re making that up,” Trixie commented. “Twilight, didn’t you say you were getting tired of our meetings anyway?”

“Yes! She did!” Rarity exclaimed. “She most certainly said that! I’m sure of it!”

“I said I was tired at our last meeting,” Twilight deadpanned. “And Trixie! I’m surprised in you most of all! You always looked forward to competing with me at our meetings. What changed?”

“Times, Twilight. Times changed. That and you grew wings, and then ponies just automatically sided with you and Trixie gets tons of hate mail any time she tries to challenge you.”

“But guys, I haven’t changed,” Twilight said, tears in her eyes as she pleaded with her two friends.

“By the way,” Sunset said, “Is it true that the Elements are now gone?”

“Quiet!” Twilight ordered. “We’re having a moment!”

“Perhaps we could let Twilight stay with us,” Rarity pondered. “Perhaps as an honorary member?”

“… Trixie supposes that would be fair, considering that it was with Twilight’s help that this society was able to be formed.”

“‘Honorary’ member?” Twilight asked in a flat tone. “Really?”

“Well we certainly can’t make you a full member,” Rarity told her, “But you’ll still be allowed to take part in our meetings and come along to our picnics and-”

“What picnics? We don’t have picnics.”

“The picnics we’ve been having for the past two weeks,” Sunset said. “You know, when they started to leave you out of the loop?”

Twilight’s glare returned in full fury. “TWO WHOLE WEEKS?! I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE JUST TOO BUSY!”

“N-Now Twilight, darling, please do calm down,” Rarity said as she backed away from the fuming princess.

“NO! You know what?! Forget it! I’ll just make my own society! With books, and PRINCESSES! And there will be NO UNICORNS ALLOWED!” Twilight turned around and stomped through the meeting hall, stopping at the door to turn back and add, “AND WE’LL HAVE A DRAGON, TOO!”

The door slammed, and an awkward silence washed over everypony gathered. “… Damn, she’s got us there,” Trixie said. “Rarity, we need to get a dragon.”

“Later,” Rarity said with a heavy sigh, returning to her chair and taking a sip of her punch. “Well, that could have gone better.”

“Looks like everypony’s too uncomfortable to continue having fun,” Sunset said as she looked over all the frowning faces in the crowd.

“I suppose we shall have to bring tonight’s meeting to an end,” Rarity said, levitating her glass and a spoon into the air and clanging the two together. “Everypony! We thank you all for attending, but I’m afraid that tonight’s meeting will be ending early! As always, there are donation boxes to the side of the door. Please give whatever you can to those that are less fortunate than you.”

As the ponies rose and filed out of the doorway, the three elders remained to finish their drinks. After the final pony had left, Sunset Shimmer checked her watch and rose to her hooves. “Well, it’s been fun, but I should be getting to bed soon. It is a school night, after all.”

“You can’t leave yet,” Trixie said.

“Why not?” Sunset asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Didn’t Rarity tell you?” Trixie asked, turning to said pony.

“I thought you did,” Rarity told Trixie. She then turned to Sunset Shimmer. “Well, today marks the day of your promotion to elder. And when a society meeting ends, the elders traditionally stay behind to partake in some more… private activities.”

“Oh? Like what?” Sunset asked. “Scrabble? Cards?” Sunset’s eyes widened as she felt a tail tracing along her thighs as Trixie walked past her. She met Rarity’s seductive gaze and returned it with a knowing grin. “So Twister, then?”


“Gentlemares, I thank you all for coming on such short notice.” Twilight levitated some papers as her three guests sat before her. Princess Celestia sipped her tea with a gentle smile on her face, Princess Luna stared at Twilight with anticipation, and Princess Cadance rubbed her tired eyes and failed to stifle a yawn. “Tonight marks the first night of the Equestrian Alicorn Society!”

“Huzzah!” Luna cheered as she clapped her hooves together.

“This is fine tea, my faithful student,” Celestia said as she passed her empty teacup to Spike for a refill.

“Okay, so the first order of business,” Twilight said as she adjusted the glasses on her face and looked over her documents, “Is that UNICORNS ARE STUPID AND THEY SMELL BAD!”

“Uh, Twilight?” Cadance said. “You do realise that you used to be a-”

Luna cut Cadance off by placing a hoof over her mouth. “Ssh! I want to see where she’s going with this.”

Cadance simply sighed and used her magic to open up a bag of potato chips, grumbling angrily about the important meeting she was going to have the following morning.

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