“You killed the king?”

Nigel looked towards the golden unicorn stallion that had spoken; the way that the other unicorns were looking at it leading Nigel to believe that it was the leader. The Emperor stepped towards the stallion, the two unicorns and the foal that were in front of him moving towards the side to let him through. To his credit the stallion stood his ground, scrutinizing the human as Nigel stopped a few meters away.

Chalmers took the time to observe the unicorn, taking note that it appeared to be of middle-age if the few grey hairs in its mustard coloured mane where any indication. The unicorn was roughly the same height of his current subjects and his coat also possessed the sheen created by the Crystal Heart. The stallion finished his examination of the human, the pony approaching Nigel to stop right in front of him.

“Just how did you defeat Sombra, if you even did?” the unicorn questioned as he looked up at Nigel, the pony’s horn coming up to the tall human’s chest, “I don’t see a horn on you so you can’t do magic and even if you’re fairly fit Sombra would have just blasted you with his magic first.” Nigel peered down at the unicorn, a smile that radiated warmth relaxing the golden unicorn.

“Oh, he did blast me with his magic,” Nigel replied as the unicorn looked at him in confusion, “It bounced off me without a scratch and then in the confusion I brained him with a table leg.” This elicited a wince from the Stallion, the fact that the bipedal creature’s smile stayed firm only unsettled the unicorn further.

“You… ‘brained’ him?”

“Cracked his skull open and then skinned him to make a rug,” Nigel responded to the unnerved stallion, “he completely deserved it from what I hear so really I did the world a favor and gained a fine piece of décor in one swoop.” The unicorn gulped at this, the creature’s voice contained no deceit and his grisly tale seemed genuine. Golden Ring looked over towards Tin and Copper, the two unicorns looking nervously back at the armed guards that were watching the proceedings.

“Nigel M Chalmers, or simply Emperor Chalmers as of a few weeks ago,” the creature introduced as it held out a dirty white-gloved hand towards Golden Ring. The unicorn glanced at the offered hand and figured out the meaning of the gesture, hesitantly extending a hoof towards the limb.

“Golden Ring,” The Emperor clasped his fingers around the hoof and shook it, Golden Ring relieved that the ruler appeared to harbor no ill-will towards the unicorns. Speaking of ill-will however, Golden thought that it would be best if he brought up the most pressing issue sooner than later.

“Um, about the attack on you and your guards,” the unicorn started, regretting his choice to advise his fellows to attack anything that entered the caves.

“It’s fine, a complete misunderstanding. However there is the problem that one of my guards was seriously injured when your two comrades,” the Emperor looked towards the two unicorns responsible, the pair shrinking under his gaze, “attacked him earlier today. Now while I forgive them whether or not he does is debatable.” Golden Ring looked down at his hooves dejected, before an idea popped into his head. He glanced over at Ruby Heart, the crimson mare shielding her daughter with her body.

“Ruby Heart over there used to be a nurse; maybe she could help your guard?” Golden Ring asked hopefully, this could be a chance to salvage the unicorns’ reputation. He was overjoyed when the Emperor glanced at the mare before turning back to him and nodding.

“Sounds like a good idea, as long as he forgives you I don’t see a problem with you rejoining the Empire” the Emperor said as he turned on his heels and walked back towards the exit with his guards scrambling to follow him. “Just head on up and talk to Captain Strategy,” The Emperor suggested.

“Wait, aren’t you going to come with us!?” Golden Ring called out after the Emperor.

“I’m afraid I can’t,” the human called back, “I’ve got a two o’clock I’m already late for so I’ve got to go!”

With these words the Emperor disappeared from view into the darkness, his guards following behind him. Golden Ring looked back towards the rest of the unicorns, each as confused as he was. Hesitantly he walked back towards the makeshift camp and began to pack his things, pausing only to glance around the curious faces of his fellow unicorns.

“What?” he asked as he continued to pack his things. “I’ve had enough of these stupid caves, living under the rule of a bi-polar alien Emperor would beat this any day.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

“Emperor, I really must stress just how much this new metal could do for us!” Nigel watched with great mirth as the head blacksmith, Iron Greaves moved from weapon rack to armour stand. The gleam of polished steel glinted in the light of crystal lighting, the surprisingly upbeat brown-coated pony bouncing around the room. Nigel hadn’t met any blacksmiths before but he imagined them to be dour, heavyset individuals. The chirpy pony ended his bouncing, hefting a halberd out of a rack with the crook of his fore-leg.

“Look at this weapon,” the stallion gushed, holding out the head of the weapon towards the Emperor to show off the sharp edge. “The thought of combining a sharp axe-head and a spear is ingenious, how did your people think of such a brilliant weapon?”

“Oh, just a little bit of constant war for thousands of years” Nigel commented with a shrug, the blacksmith staring at him in concern for a few seconds before he too shrugged and placed the halberd back, moving towards a stand which contained a full suit of armour designed to fit an equine creature.

“This new armour for changeling troops is also a masterpiece, even if I do say so myself.” Iron shined the armour with a rag, the steel suit designed to fully protect every inch of the wearer’s body. “The only downside to this model however is that they will be unable to fly, normally,” Iron grinned and pointed towards a set of gems set into the underside of the suit, Nigel peering at the cluster of three gems.

“Let me guess,” Nigel began, “Gems that manipulate gravity and or lighten the weight of the object their set into?” Iron stared at the Emperor in surprise.

“You are… absolutely right.”

“Not that hard to figure out really,” Nigel replied, “great work on the armour though, how many sets have you and your workers finished?”

“Only about twenty I’m afraid Sir,” Iron answered, his voice losing its cheer, “I know you wanted at least thirty but I was distracted by a special project I was working on.”

“Don’t worry about it Iron,” the Emperor responded as he patted the young stallion on the shoulder, “the Empire only has five changeling guards so it’s no big deal.” The Emperor’s words succeeded in cheering up the blacksmith, Iron’s cheery mood returning.

“Now what this about a special project?” Chalmers asked, the blacksmith bounding towards a side room, the Emperor following close behind.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

“Now all I need is a sword in a rock or something!”

Iron watched as the Emperor tested his new suit of plate armour, the human flexing all of the joints as he moved around the room completly covered in shiny steel.

“So I’m assuming that the suit feels so light because of the gems inlaid here?” the Emperor asked as he pointed with a metal gauntlet to the set of gems set into his left chest area. “Why did you put them where my heart is again? Kind of seems like the place where people are going to be stabbing me the most often.”

“Don’t worry Sir,” Iron answered, “using a small shielding gem I found in that set you gave to us I managed to shield that place from anything physical, the only thing you have to worry about is magical based attacks.”

“So,” Emperor Chalmers responded, “you pretty much built the medieval armour equivalent of the Deathstar and left the exhaust port open to any unicorn that I piss off?”

“Death…Star?” Iron inquired, the reference lost on him.

“Term used to describe something that has a blatantly obvious weak point, to be fair though the creator of this one isn’t a retarded ego-maniac who feels the need to make up for his withered scrotum-like face.” The Emperor rubbed his gauntlets together as he strolled past the bewildered blacksmith and over towards a weapon rack at the end of the room. Deciding that the Emperor did not just vaguely insult his work Iron followed the human. Chalmers stopped at the rack and retrieved a sword that was the length of a pony, multiple gems set in the grip.

“Sir,” Iron softly asked as the Emperor tested the weight of the sword, “have you even been trained to use th-“

Iron stopped speaking as the Emperor completed a series of thrusts, parries and slices, all expertly preformed.

“To answer your concerns, I’ve been practicing the use of bladed weaponry for years. After all,” the Emperor chuckled as he ran an armored finger over the sword edge, “sometimes using a knife is just so much more fun.” Iron shifted nervously as the human swung his sword a couple times more before another weapon caught the Emperor's eye.

“Ah, I see you found the mace sir,” Iron observed as the Emperor picked up the flanged device, the weapon designed to crush armour and shatter bones. The top possessed a pointed spike that could be thrust between the joints of an opponent’s armour and the weapon also had its own set of gems set into the handle.

“Let me guess,” Nigel said as he poked the gems, “plus seven to arse-kicking?”

“No sir, I’m afraid that no such gems were found in the p-“

“It was a joke Iron,” Chalmers sighed, “as long as the gems help me crack skulls I’m happy.” Hefting his new mace over his shoulder with his sword firmly in its sheath at his side the Emperor walked towards the rooms exit. “Great work Iron, keep it up.”

“Yes Emperor!” Iron saluted, the blacksmith already moving to the workshop to supervise the creation of the giant ballistas.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

“Emperor Sir, what took you so long…”

The guard private who had been assigned to the Emperor while he visited the military area of the city stared in awe at the sight of his Emperor dressed in full plate armour constructed of a strange metal. The human had a huge battle mace resting on his shoulder and a sword attached to his belt. Chalmers struck a pose, mace pointed outwards to the palace.

“Onwards, Guard Private…”

“Sharp Point, Emperor” the guard answered when Chalmers glanced at him.

“Yes, onwards towards our bastion of Vigilance!” the Emperor decreed as he marched off, Sergeant Sharp Point following behind questioning what just happened.

Little did the Emperor know that no amount of armour or weaponry would protect him from the danger that lurked back within his palace.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

“So the gems are-“

“Protected by a force field gem, I know I said exactly the same thing to the guy but honestly the mace makes up for it al-“

Nigel trailed off as the pair entered the Palace Throne Room, the vast space seemingly empty as the Emperor and guard cautiously walked towards the throne.

“Isn’t there supposed to be servants and advisors Sir?” Sharp Point asked, the empty room really creeping him out.

“Normally yes,” Chalmers replied as he scanned the room, “keep on your guard, something catastrophic must have occur-“ Sharp Point had no time to react before a black blur flew out from behind the throne and tackled the surprised Emperor chest on, toppling the human over as it collided with his armored chest.

“Ow,” a female voice sounded from the black figure sprawled on top of the Emperor, Sharp Point now able to see that the attacker was a changeling.

“Emperor Chalmers?” Sharp Point stepped a little closer, an irritated groan confirming that the ruler was conscious. Now that he was closer Sharp Point identified the changeling as the Emperor’s advisor, Reflection. The guard didn’t know what to do, both the changeling and human recovering from the impact at the same time.

Nigel shook his head to clear away the aftereffects of the hit his head received. He was already regretting leaving the armory without the helmet that had been designed for him. Nigel looked up from his spot on the floor, a pair of angry green eyes glaring down at him.
“Nigel M Chalmers,” Reflection was not pleased; Nigel’s developed sense of the female psyche keyed him in to this fact. The way that her hoof was rapidly approaching his face was also a dead giveaway.

“What the Buck were you thinking!?” the hoof connected with Nigel’s shoulder, the changeling diverting the blow at the last second. “You charged into a cave filled with dangerous creatures by yourself!”

“Actually it was only a few unicorns and I did have a few guards who ran in after me.”

“I don’t care!” the irate changeling answered as she put both front hooves beside Nigel’s head, “what if you had gotten hurt or worse! You can’t just constantly run head-first into problems like that! We haven’t even gone on a date yet and you go off to fight unicorns in a cave!” Sharp Point decided that it would be incredibly wise to keep his mouth shut and move over to guard the door, well out of range of potential changeling hoof attacks.

“So, if you’re done yelling,” Nigel asked slowly, “do you notice anything different about me?”

“Anything different?” the changeling began, her voice raised and her head lowering towards Nigel’s. “You’re still the same vain, rash, immature, confident…” Reflection paused as she looked into the Emperor’s blue eyes, the human squirming under the changeling.

“Reflection? I think you missed a couple of negative tr-“

The Emperor was unable to finish his query as the changeling darted forward and pushed her mouth onto his. Sharp Point stood at his spot and stared at the pair, the sudden act so unexpected that the private could do nothing but watch as the changeling increased her assault on the Emperor’s mouth fortress. Strangely the Emperor ceased his struggling after just a few seconds, the human wrapping his metal plated arms around the changeling as he pulled her in closer. Both of the beings were so caught up in their activity that they didn’t even notice the throne room doors open and a large white pony accompanied by a group of bodyguards and dignitaries all surrounded by Crystal guards enter.

“Announcing the arrival of Her Royal Highness Princ- Oh!”

The changeling and human broke apart in alarm, pulling their heads apart to stare at the speaker in shock, the Royal Guard who was in charge of introducing his Princess speechless.

Emperor Chalmers looked at the group of ponies from his position on the floor, all of them with varying expressions of shock and disbelief on their faces. The only exception was the tall white mare wearing a Tiara and Necklace, no doubt this ‘Princess Celestia’ that he had been expecting. Of course the Equestrians would arrive at exactly this point in time. Princess Celestia gigged, the white mare unable to control her mirth at the situation.

“Is this a bad time, Emperor Chalmers? We can come back tomorrow if you prefer.”

“No, no! This is not what it looks like!” Nigel replied as he used a hand to wipe away the string of saliva that ran from Reflection’s mouth to his. “We were just… discussing the newest upgrades to the civic infrastructure in districts three-seven B to four-nine F, yeah, sanitization and all of that” he finished, Reflection climbing off him as stood up. The changeling sheepishly turned her head away from the Princess’s interested gaze, a green blush on her cheeks and human saliva on her chin.

The Emperor cleared his throat, the Princess looking towards the strange creature which when it was standing was much more intimidating.

“Shall we adjourn to my meeting chamber your Highness?” the Emperor offered extending a metal hand towards a door on the other side of the room. Celestia was quite impressed with how the Emperor quickly pulled of a flawless recovery, no trace in his voice of the fact that he had just been caught tongue-wrestling with a member of the most-vilified species in Celestia’s country.

“I think that would be for the best,” Celestia agreed, following the Emperor as he moved towards the doorway. The changeling female who had recently been on top of the human moved beside him, the creature ducking her head in embarrassment. The group of nobles following Celestia looking at one another before the stern gazes of the Crystal pony guards drove them forwards towards behind their ruler.

The doors shut behind the group, leaving the lone Private Sharp Point frozen on his spot traumatized by the sight that he had bared witness too.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

To say the atmosphere at the table was tense was an understatement. Emperor Charmers nibbled on a cheese slice while Celestia sipped daintily from a tea cup suspended in her magic field opposite him. On Nigel’s side of the rectangular table sat Reflection, Sparkling and various nobles and guards. Celestia was seated amongst her own Royal guard and her entourage of nobility with a particularly snobby looking blond unicorn whose face was still scrunched up in disgust from the sight he had been present at before.

“So Emperor Chalmers,” Celestia began as she put down her teacup, “I would enjoy exchanging stories but being a ruler leaves one with little time to spare, something I’m sure you can relate to.”

“I sure can, today alone has been quite a… interesting one.” Nigel replied as put another piece of cheese into his mouth. He missed the smile that Celestia hid behind her cup as she moved to take another sip.

“As I saw, at least I know for sure now that you yourself are quite receptive to changelings” she teased as she took a victory sip of tea.

“I know it must be hard to hold yourself back Princess, I can tell by the way you stared at my crotch as I got up.” Celestia spat out the tea she had in her mouth at the Emperor’s reply. She coughed and spluttered as Emperor Chalmers calmly cleaned the front of his metal armour with a napkin to get rid of the tea. Nigel didn’t mind however, it was worth it to beat the Princess at her own game.

“I should have warned you Princess,” Nigel gloated as Celestia looked back up at him in embarrassment, “I am incredibly experienced in the art of diplomatic banter, you have much to learn.”

“So, it seems,” Celestia conceded, “shall we begin discussing the terms of agreement?”

“Against my better judgment Princess, let’s get down to business.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

“… and so it is with these terms that we both agree to close this agreement. As soon as we both sign I will arrange for the transport of the sixty-one changelings currently held in Equestrian prisons to the Crystal Empire as well as multiple loads of supplies to assist in the re-building of the Empire.”

Nigel awoke just in time to hear the end of the agreement thanks to a fairly forceful under-the-table reminder kick courtesy of Reflection. He nodded as Celestia levitated her glasses off of her muzzle as she put the parchment on the table. Using a feather and quill provided by a nearby assistant the princess signed her name at the bottom of the sheet, moving it over to Nigel after she was done. Chalmers quickly read over the parchment one last time before signing his name at the bottom, sealing the deal much to the satisfaction to the Princess.

“It’s a real blessing that we were able to agree on something so important for all of our peoples Emperor,” the Princess happily stated, “now with all of that out of the way why don’t we share some of our past experiences. Now, as you’ve no doubt heard my little ponies are some of the most peaceful…”

‘Oh God, please, anything. Don’t let me suffer through all of this’ Nigel thought as he nodded his head as the Princess continued on with her re-telling of her country’s history. The nobility from both sides also looked completely bored and Reflection was staring at the table daydreaming. Existence for once actually took pity upon Nigel and just as the Princess was about to explain how some elements defeated an evil snake the doors burst open, a frantic guard bursting through them with a halberd in his hoof.

“Commander Chalmers, a large group of bipedal dog monsters are attacking the city pillaging and looting! The guard is fighting back but they need assistance!”

“Diamond Dogs,” Celestia stated with concern, “they are known for isolated foalnappings but I’ve never heard of them attacking an entire city before.”

The Crystal guards surrounding the table moved to leave however Nigel halted them with a hand. The Emperor stood up and grabbed his mace which had been retrieved earlier.

“No, you stay here and guard our guests,” Nigel ordered, the soldiers returning to their positions hesitantly.

“Nigel,” Reflection asked with dread, “please tell me you’re not going out to fight again.” Nigel patted the head of his mace with a hand as he walked towards the door. He stopped and turned to face Reflection and Celestia as he addressed them.

“I go forth to defend my subjects and kingdom,” he proclaimed, “Reflection you’re in charge so please play nice with the Princess. No hitting young lady.” Without waiting for a reply Nigel left, passing Private Sharp Point in the throne room. The Private had snapped out of his trance when the messanger had gone past, Sharp Point shaking his head before he galloped after the human, the pony only stopping to retrieve his spear.

“Sir, where are you going? It’s incredibly dangerous outside with all of the monsters running around!” Sharp Point shouted as he caught up the Emperor who was in the process of shining his mace with a white cloth.

“I know Private,” Chalmers responded gleefully, “the question you should be asking is who exactly is going to be in danger.”

“Sir?” the private questioned, slightly confused at what the Emperor was alluding to.

“It’s like this Sharp Point,” Emperor Chalmers replied as he swung his heavy steel mace in a wide arc. “I’m going to put the ‘Die’ in ‘Diamond Dog’, and I am going to enjoy doing it.”