The ponies stood in a circle, staring in bewilderment at their beached and unconscious would-be champion. "What the heck happened?" Rainbow Dash said, giving the prostrate form a wary poke with a hoof. "This is supposed to be our Champion?" She snorted. "This guy couldn't be a champion of anything!"

"Except maybe a pie eatin' contest," Applejack said ruefully.

"Oh, DAMMIT!" Celestia shouted, stamping her hoof and tossing her head. The others jumped at the thunder-crack that accompanied her swear. She looked alarmingly close to bursting into tears. She stared up at the roof of the cavern and blinked her tears back, grimacing. "I can't believe I forgot the Literal Genie Boundary!" she said, frustrated. "I got in a rush, the current extraplanar conjunction was so ideal--"

"Literal what?" Rarity said, confused.

Every uninformed eye turned to Twilight Sparkle. She was nosing over their unconscious guest, and had managed to detach and unzip his oversized fanny pack and was going through the contents. She looked up. "Ugh, the Literal Genie Boundary," she groaned, shifting into lecture mode even as she continued hoofing through the bag. "It's a sort of... magical backlash. Generally speaking, magic is compliant and cooperative; your thoughts give it a form and an intent, and it tends to flow in that direction, get the results you want or as close to it as possible. But sometimes, just sometimes it gets--- contrary. Instead of doing what you MEAN, it does what you SAY. Oh, magic isn't intelligent or anything, but it's controlled and directed by thoughts... You put an idea in it, and it goes looking to make that idea happen. And words and ideas are connected in odd ways.

"That's why so few unicorn magic spells use words, and why focusing on a mental image is so important; because saying a word automatically makes you think, in the back of your head, of its alternate, related, or even opposite meanings.... synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, autoantonyms are REALLY a pain...."

"And the more ambitious or complicated a spell is, the more carefully you have to construct it... or you get things like this happening," Celestia lamented. " There are ways to compensate, but, well.... I summoning is a whole new level of complexity. You have to account for what the words mean HERE, and what they mean over THERE, and make sure the spell looks for what YOU think your words mean and not what they think it means in the other dimension."

"That's the boundary," Twilight said. "The difference between what words mean here, and what words mean there, ideas and concepts that don't exist in one that exist in another--- some ideas just don't translate. I mean, Zebras have no word for "Snow" in their language, but Crystal Ponies have fourteen---"

"So how far off WERE we?" Cadence said.

"Bad enough," Twilight muttered. "Look at him, it's obvious how the spell interpreted 'Big Feller.' Applejack flushed, but nopony said anything.

Twilight continued digging. "Oh boy," she groaned. She tipped the bag out. "I'm starting to get an idea of how far off." A handful of folded papers and three or four odd polyhedrons rolled across the floor, followed by some cleverly painted pewter figurines. "I recognize these," she said. "They're not exactly the same, but they look an AWFUL lot like the dice and character sheets from my brother's "Ogres and Oubliettes" days." At everypony's uncomprehending stares she burst out, "the roleplaying game! You know, where they sit around a table and pretend to be warriors and wizards and battle monsters in dungeons--- my brother and his dorky friends played it all the time," she sniffed disdainfully.

"Wouldn't let his annoying kid sister play, huh?" Dash said, smirking.

"No, he did once in a while," Cadence dimpled. "He'd give her a character, let her roll the dice, and then tell her a Bugbear ate her."

Twilight growled and pretended to ignore her. "And these character sheets look well used, so he's played a lot of sessions," she said, poking the obviously erased and re-erased papers. "What my brother and his friends called 'campaigns'--"

Luna facehoofed. "A veteran of many campaigns," she muttered. "Dost not the spell distinguish between the real and the make-believe??" She demanded in an angry shout.

"Well, um," Twilight tapped the pewter figurines. "There is sort of a.... blurred line. I mean, a lot of military training involves wargaming out battle scenarios--- and if I don't miss my guess, these little guys are part of a wargaming set. To go by the little mace and battle axe."

"Well versed in battlefield strategy," Rarity groaned. "If one is waging war on inch-high armored trolls."

"But what about being good with swords and stuff?" Rainbow Dash exploded.

"Look at the one strapped across his back, Rainbow Dash," Rarity sniffed. "You never specified they had to be METAL swords..."

"How?" Celestia said, more distraught than ever. "How?? How could the spell have gotten every single attribute wrong??"

"He'd better not have any allergies," Pinkie Pie said dourly.

Leo slowly swam upwards out of the void to semi-consciousness. It was dark, for some reason--- oh, he had his eyes closed. That would explain that. It didn't however explain why he was lying face down on a cold, gritty stone floor.  "Oh what a bungle," he heard someone say... a woman, from the sound of her voice, and a rather high-class lady at that.

Probably one of the in-costume nobility, Leo thought.

"Strewth," another, younger voice said. She sounded befuddled, even a little astonished. "E'en tho I had mine misgivings, sister, this... this is..." words apparently failed her.

Definitely one of the Renfaire actors, Leo decided muzzily. Probably one of the Court ladies from the CSA. That bunch were fanatical about staying in character. She was pretty good, too--- got the pronunciations and the thees and thous all right... Had he had an accident at the Renfaire? Tripped and fallen? What the heck had happened? "I didn't miss the Caber toss, did I?" he mumbled blearily.

This seemed to generate a reaction. "Look, he's waking up!"

Carefully, he opened his eyes. There was a rough stone floor not an inch from his nose. He glanced from side to side--- his glasses had fallen off, but he could make out legs surrounding him. Legs, with-- hooves? He groped about for his glasses. Someone slid them under his grasping fingers. "Thanks," he mumbled, putting them back on. With a groan, he rolled over onto his back and heaved himself into a sitting position.

And looked straight into a face he never expected to see anywhere outside his own wildest imaginings.

Luna stretched her head out to the creature. Despite everything her heart went out to it. "What are we to do?" she said, her voice full of pity. "This poor thing is no Champion. Why he fainted dead away at the sight of us! He will be stranded on an alien world for a full moon, surrounded by alien creatures. Surely he will be terrified out of his mind..."

The creature groaned and sat up, pushing his spectacles up his rounded nose. His eyes locked with the Moon Princesses...

"Oh my gosh," he whinnied. "Princess Luna??" Before the princess could even respond, he reached out, placing one beefy hand on the pad of her nose.

"Um," Luna said, nonplussed. "N'ello...."

The burly champion let out a squeal. "Oh my gosh, you're REAL!" He threw his arms around Luna's neck in a gleeful embrace.

"Huagh," Luna said. "Or mayhap he will cope? Agk, not so tight!"

"Oh, sorry sorry sorry--" he quickly released her, leaving one hand patting her neck. "Ohmigosh, best pony is real... I gotta be dreaming!" He looked around and saw the others. "Pinkie Pie! Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Twilight and omigosh omigosh, Fluttershy! and..." his eyes fell on one particular mare he sucked in a gasp that threatened to empty the room of air.

"Princess Celestia..."

The mares started, stared, or eeped as was their wont. Celestia, for her part, gave him a nervous smile. "Ah, welcome..."

He gave a sudden start. "Oh, uh, omigosh, where are my manners--" He scuffled a bit, lumbering up to his feet and bowing with surprising alacrity for one his size. "Your Highness," he said, bowing to Celestia with his arm across his chest. "Oh, and uh, your Highnesses--" he bowed to a flustered Twilight Sparkle and a bemused Cadence. "And Your Highness," he bowed especially deep to Luna. He popped up again like a bobbing bird. "Oh I can't believe this is really happening, it's like a fanfic come true!" He started chattering questions at the mane six, not stopping for breath or, for that matter, answers.

"How does he know us?" Rarity said as an aside to Twilight..

" 'What is reality in one realm, is merest fantasy in another, ' " Twilight quoted. " 'Yet both are true, and both are myth.' "

"Ah, that is right," Celestia said. "Darth Vulcan indicated that he comes from a world where we are merely characters in a story. And a rather popular one as well if I remember him correc--- oh dear," she said, suddenly dismayed anew as this sank in.

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

Celestia realized the Champion had stopped gabbling and was now looking at her. "Later, Twilight," she said. "Yes? Oh, and may I ask your name?" Her smile was just the tiniest bit strained.

He bowed again. "My name is Leo Hart, Your Majesty," he said, beaming. "And it is so incredible to be here... Um...." he paused. "But... why am I here?"

Celestia braced herself. It would be best to be honest from the very beginning. "Leo, our land faces a terrible threat. An enemy the likes of which we have never faced before. In desperation, I chose to summon... um, Leo?"

Leo wasn't paying attention. He was, for the first time, taking in his surroundings: the chalk diagram on the floor, the obelisks, the shining crystal tree. "You summoned a champion," he breathed. "Equestria is in mortal danger. And you used the Tree of Harmony and the Elements to summon a champion-- and for some reason, some crazy reason, the magic chose me."

She could see it in his eyes; he'd put it all together. "That is the gist of it," she started to say regretfully. Poor human, she thought. But before she could start into the spiel explaining how the Literal Genie Boundary had buggered them all, there was a meaty thump.

The enormous human had taken one knee. The stuffed dragon, unheeded, dropped and tumbled across the floor. He whipped his shield and boffer sword off his back and presented them to Celestia and Luna, head bowed. "I gladly pledge my sword, my shield, my good right arm and my honor to the Court of the Moon and the Sun," he said in an orator's tones, his voice reverent. "To defend her people-- er, ponies-- against this enemy, whomever he may be, so long as I am able!"

Celestia and Luna stared at him, jaws slack. "Ergk?" Celestia managed.

He looked up at his boffer sword. "Um." he said. "I'll probably need to borrow a better weapon, though."

The silence stretched on for a second or two. He seemed to realize he was holding a chocolate-covered stick in one of his hands. "Where'd my cheesecake on a stick go..?" A quick look about revealed nothing but Pinkie Pie with cheese and chocolate smeared cheeks, chewing something and trying to look innocent.

"Pinkie...!"

Celestia spoke before Luna could. "I couldn't tell him, Luna, I simply couldn't!" she said under her breath as they marched along the forest path. "It would have been just too cruel."

"I agree, Sister," Luna said reluctantly. She looked up ahead, where the being known as Leo Hart plodded along, chattering like an excited foal with the Elements. "To be summoned to what is, to you, a world of wonders, for a great and noble task--- only to be told in the next moment that it was a mistake? It would have been too much." She set her lips in a thin line. "But we must tell him, the instant we have him back to Canterlot."

The original plan had been to whisk the champion away from the Castle of the Two Sisters in the flying chariot by which they had arrived. Alas, that was unworkable; much to Leo's mortification, his added weight had been too much; they were simply all too heavy for the chariot to lift. Given the choice between having the charioteers make multiple trips back and forth-- and increasing their odds of being spotted by Darth Vulcan's lookouts or worse, his archers--- They had instead opted to take the (mostly) secured short path back to Ponyville, where the Friendship Express would whisk them to Canterlot with all due speed. Accompanied by a sextet of guards, they had set out by hoof on the path, their new garrulous guest happily chatting with the Elements and rubbernecking as he took in the "awesome" and "incredible" Everfree Forest. "Awesome and Incredible;" two adjectives none of them had heard used to describe the sinister eldritch forest before, to be sure.

"Agreed," Celestia said. "We will make him comfortable during his stay, and explain.. gently... that he is..."

"The worst possible candidate we could have chosen?"  Twilight said next to her, making her jump. "Sorry, Celestia."

Celestia sighed. "No, it is tragically true," she said. "I'm sure he's quite a nice person--- he certainly seems friendly enough-- but... a bit too off-kilter. " She nodded at the bipedal figure ahead. "He is obviously a devout follower of this 'television show' about us--"

"I know," Twilight said, mouth twisting. "He keeps blurting out all these details of our lives he couldn't possibly know; it's kind of creeping me and the girls out."

"Do try to be patient with him, Twilight," Celestia urged.

"I will, I will..." She rolled her eyes. "I'm... going to go back up there and get to know him a little better," Twilight said doubtfully. "He comes from Darth Vulcan's world; he could have some knowledge, some skill that will help us..." she trailed off and trotted to catch up with the lumbering human.

Twilight came trotting up next to the little group. Leo was walking along, surrounded by her friends, chatting animatedly about everything and anything. Which, unfortunately, seemed to consist of a large number of rather personal questions.

"Rarity, do your parents go on a lot of vacations? It seems Sweetiebelle spends an awful lot of time with you."

"Is Big Macintosh dating Miss Cheerilee, because I sorta pick up that vibe..."

"Are any of you dating for that matter?"

"Does Twilight really do that 'sunshine sunshine' dance all the time with you, Cadence?"

He seemed oblivious to the fact that just because he knew about them through some bit of fiction in his world, it still might be invading their personal space. She hadn't seen her friends looking this ill at ease since Maude Pie had come to visit. She sidled up and interrupted the one sided conversation. "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, Leo?" she said with her most brilliant smile. "I just have some things I was wondering about."

"Oh, uh, sure." He had skinned the foam covering off his "sword," and was using the thick dowel rod to batter vines and branches that had crept over the fence line out of the way. "Ask away."

"So what do you do for a living?" she asked. "Back in the human world, I mean."

He shrugged. "I'm a student right now, so I work part time at Wal-Mart... a big chain store, if you know what those are. Cashier, stockboy, that sort of thing. It pays the bills."

"A... stockboy." Twilight said. He nodded. She seized on a salient point. "Oh, but you're a student? What are you studying?" She cleared her throat and looked apologetic. "The reason I'm asking is that the spell was supposed to search for someone who was well educated..."

He nodded, beaming confidently. "Absolutely! Well I've not got my degree yet, but I'm majoring in Medieval History and Literature!"... with a minor in computer programming," he added. "Gotta get those STEM fields."

There was a snort from overhead; Dash was hovering nearby (of course) and had picked up the conversation. She hadn't understood half the words the guy used-- heck, she suspected even Twilight didn't know what a"Stem Field" or "Computer" thingummy was. But she'd gotten the gist of it. "You were going to school to be an old book nerd?"

Leo bristled and seemed to swell up. His educational career was an obvious sensitive point. "Medieval and Renaissance literature and history are demanding courses of education, Lady Rainbow--"

The 'Lady Rainbow' thing hit the wrong button. "Yeah yeah," Dash said, waving a hoof and rolling her eyes. "Whatever you say, fella..."

Hey! At least I didn't drop out, Miss Thing," he snapped. "And that's especially pathetic in your case. How the hell does a creature born with wings flunk out of a flying school?"

Now it was Dash's turn to get her feathers ruffled. "HEY, back off, fatso!" she said, getting up in his face. "I got my G.E.D. ages ago. And they don't just teach flyiiiing," she said snarkily, landing and flittering her wingtips," they---"

"GUYS!" Twilight yelled, making them both jump. "Enough of that! Now apologize."

Leo was the first to relent. "Sorry," he grumbled. "..I don't like it when people make fun of my education." He tried to scowl, but with his pudgy face it looked far more like a pout.

"Yeah, whatever," Dash said, looking away and rubbing her leg with her hoof. "Sorry," she went on, a little more sincerely. "I know how that is..."

It was then that Twilight's language centers decided to once again run ahead of the rest of her brain. "But you were supposed to be well-educated," she blurted out. She slapped her hoof over her mouth but it was too late.

Leo chuckled. "Well, I suppose I'm incredibly well educated.. compared to most of the other seven billion people on Earth," he said.

Twilight's pupils shrank to dots. "Seven billion...?" Instantly she realized her tragic error. She couldn't begin to guess what the educational system was like in his world, but in the world of Equestria, just being able to read fluently in your own language put you in the top fifty percent. An Equestrian High School diploma put you in the top thirty, maybe the top twenty percent in the world. Even if the spell had narrowed it down to the top ten percent of his race,  you'd still be shooting in the dark with a group of seven hundred million. How many of those do you think are super geniuses, and how many do you think have jobs picking fruit?

And all else being equal, even among the best educated in the world, the likelihood of their being educated in something USEFUL for this crisis was infinitesimal. Thanks to the odds, they'd ended up summoning a champion whose education was as useful as a chocolate teapot.

He saw the look on her face and laughed. "Fret not, Your Highness. I am well educated enough, and I am no dullard. Besides, it's not like I'm going to be defeating Equestria's nemesis with my GPA, is it?"

While Twilight stood there, trying to digest this horrifying blasphemy to the virtues of higher education, Rainbow Dash moved in. "Well yeah, maybe," she said. "But you were supposed to be good with swords and shields and stuff, too. And looking at you, well--" she hovered about, waving her hooves to indicate all of him in general.

Applejack chipped in. "She means you don't exactly look like no warrior, feller. no offense."

"Well that's where you lucked out," he said, cheerfully amused. "Back home, I'm probably the best man-at-arms in the tri-state area."

Rainbow Dash eyed his girth. "You're joking."

"Nope." He held up his wooden sword. "I'm a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism."

"The who?" This came from everypony.

"The S.C.A. The Renfaire people. Here, can we take a breather?" He went over and, after some careful pokes with his sword to check for anything liable to bite, took a seat. "One thing you gotta know is, for the most part in our world, swords and shields and other medieval weaponry have been out of use for hundreds of years. It's only a rare handful of people who really know anything about them. The S.C.A. is an organization of people who like to reenact stuff from that time--- jousting, archery, fencing, tournaments, even full-blown battles with armored knights on both sides. Padded weapons, of course--" he waved his un-padded sword-- "but they take it serious. I have me a sweet set of tournament armor back home... I usually carry a warhammer for official tournaments, but this was a casual renfaire, so...."

He shrugged. "Course I also do a little LARPing--- that's more for people who want to do stuff with wizards and ogres and roleplayed magic and junk. Not as realistic obviously." He stopped and looked around at his audience of unicorns, pegasi and talking ponies. "Um, for a given value of realistic..."

"Okay, that's kind of cool, actually," Dash admitted.

"Do a lot of people do this?" Rarity asked.

"Better believe it. Shoot, you guys nabbed me right out of the middle of a RenFaire!... Eh, that's a sort of Medieval-Renaissance themed festival. Lots of reenactments, period costumes...you'd like that part, Rarity... food--"

"Like cheesecake on a stick?" Pinkie said, licking her lips nostalgically.

"Yeah," Leo said dryly.

"Sounds like a fun party!"

It started to sink in, then. "So y'all are sayin'," Applejack ventured carefully, "that th' only humans who fight with swords an' shields an' spears and magic an' what not for the past hundred years... are humans like you who're playin' a game?"

"Athletic event," Leo stressed. "You go out there and, padded weapons or not, you'll raise some bruises , and work up a sweat, too! Still I've got enough tournament experience that I'm not going to stab myself in the foot by mistake, at least."  He bent down to fiddle with his shoelaces. "Go on ahead, I'll catch up in a second. Got a rock in my shoe." Reluctantly, the rest of the group trotted on ahead, leaving him behind with Fluttershy and two of the guardponies.

"Do you think the ponies in Ponyville will like me?" they heard him ask.

"Oh, I'm sure they will," Fluttershy said kindly. "You're a very, um, nice human..."

"Oh, well thank you.."

The others clustered together, speechless. Celestia and Luna allowed themselves to catch up with them. As one the group turned on the celestial diarchs and began whispering frantically.

"What do we do, Celestia?" Twilight said frantically. "He's no general or leader or even a proper scholar--"

"He doesn't realize how serious this is, your Highnesses--"

"This fella ain't no warrior--"

"No kiddin', he thinks running around the woods boppin' people with foam rubber swords is a battle!"

"That Darth Vulcan guy is gonna tear him apart!"

Celestia shushed them hastily. "We know, we know, my little Ponies," Celestia said. "Once we get him back to Canterlot, we'll... explain the situation to him properly. That we made an error in judgment, and we will let him stay as our guest, and keep him out of trouble till the spell sends him back home in thirty days." She sighed. "It would be just too cruel to tell him right now..."

The others looked troubled, but nodded. None of them had missed the willingness, the sheer joy with which he had made his oath of fealty. More than one was afraid that the human, had he learned that Darth Vulcan was in these very woods, might actually grab a spear and shield from a guardpony and march off into the trees to challenge the dark warlock immediately.

"He acts as if he imagines himself in an enchanted comic book," Luna muttered, frowning. "And worse, that he is the destined hero. This could be excessively bad, if he takes it in his head to do something suicidally stupid because that's what he thinks the hero of the story is supposed to do."

Celestia shook her head. "He is still giddy now," she said. "But hopefully when he calms down he will be more rational."

"Well, we'd better keep an eye on him," Applejack said, nodding up the path.

"Indeed, guardponies or no, fences or no, this forest is dangerous," Rarity shuddered. "I am loth to think what might happen if--"

She never finished the thought. The air was split by the sound of a filly's scream.... followed by a faint "aw HAIL naw!"

"To arms!" one of the guardsponies shouted. His compatriots galloped to join him.

In an instant everypony was galloping in the direction of the sound, up around the bend in the trail. Thus far, the fence-builders had managed to fence in the immediate surroundings of the Castle of the Pony Sisters, and a broad if winding trail that led from there to Ponyville. But keeping those fences maintained was proving a problem; one of the Everfree's intermittent storms had felled trees and branches up ahead, flattening a long section of the protective fence and neutralizing the shocking spell that ran through it.... And at least one of the Everfree's numerous predators had gotten up the nerve to examine this gap and see just what tasty meaty treats the ponies had been sheltering from it. An enormous manticore was pounding down the middle of the trail, headed straight for them--- and barely a step ahead, heads down and running for their very lives, were Zecora and Applebloom.

Immediately, the guards formed a phalanx in front of their charges, spears planted and lowered. "To us quickly, ma'am!" One of them shouted to the running ponies.

"DA HAIL YOU THINK WE DOIN'?" Zecora howled. She grabbed Applebloom's scruff in her teeth, threw the filly over her back, and floored it, barely outracing the creature's flailing claws.

"Fluttershy, do something!" Twilight cried.

Fluttershy started to fly ahead-- then she saw the manticore's maddened red eyes, and the mossy green tendrils, flecked with froth, hanging from its lips and knew there would be no reasoning with the creature. "Oh no! Madroot! Run, Zecora, run!"

She was right; the manticore in its hunger had taken to chewing Madroot. In small amounts it was almost like catnip... but in excess it could trigger a dangerous derangement. The beast was hungry, angry, and beyond reason, and it had fresh meat running in front of its nose. It would not listen to even Fluttershy's blandishments.

Zecora was almost to the safety of the soldiers' spear line when she tripped over an unseen root and tumbled to the ground. Applebloom tumbled on ahead. The guards rushed forward to engage the beast, yelling.  The manticore reared up and swatted the guardponies away to either side with a single blow of its paws. It roared, and prepared to spring on the downed zebra.

Then something massive flew past the gathered ponies and struck the manticore amidships like a thunderbolt.

"Leo!!" somepony cried.

It was; the lumbering human had picked up a felled log as thick as his arm and as long as he was tall and charged, slamming into the manticore in a full-on tackle... placing himself between the monster and the ponies. The Princesses acted quickly, snagging their little ponies in their magic and dragging them back to safety behind the spear-ponies. Why none of the unicorns or alicorns present thought to slam down a magic dome over the group was the question to be begged; some may have hesitated, waiting for an opening to drag Leo to safety as well...

...the more likely answer was that they were too astonished at what they were seeing to think clearly.

Leo had the drug-maddened manticore in a full grapple, his shield wedged in the manticore's jaws, the thick tree-limb locked against the monster's neck, pinning its forelegs back so it could not bring its claws into play. The monster roared, struggling; Leo roared back, straining till the veins stood out on his thick neck. The manticore's barbed tail whipped about, seeking a target. The tip grazed Leo's calf, eliciting a yell from him as the poison sizzled on his stockinged leg.

"I SAY... THEE... NAY!" Leo bellowed; his foot jerked up and stomped down, crushing the tail tip to the ground. There was a crack like breaking shell, and the scorpion-cat squalled in pain. Leo took advantage of the monster's distraction; he broke the clinch, fell back, and brought the log in his hands around in a mighty swing. There wasn't so much a crack as a BOOM as the length of wood shattered against the side of the manticore's head with such force that it flipped the beast clean around and over on its back. It hit the ground with a tremendous thud, dust and leaves flying in the air.

The beast had had enough. It staggered to its paws, shaking its head drunkenly, and fled in a limping run till it vanished among the trees.

Leo fell to his knees, his chest heaving. He picked his spectacles out of the dust, wiped them on his shirt and donned them, then looked back at the others. His eyes fell on Fluttershy and he saw her anguished face. "I'm Sorry, Fluttershy," he gasped. "I-- had no choice, I..."

The next moment Fluttershy illustrated that she could still be misjudged. "You're HURT!" she cried out, running to Leo's side. She began digging frantically through one of her panniers. "Let me see that leg, oh dear oh dear oh dear, roll down that sock-- Manticore poison is nasty stuff--- wha...?"

The manticore's sting had indeed scored his leg... a bright red line of blood ran down his calf, and the poison had sizzled his stocking. But there was no sign of inflammation around the wound, no blistering, none of the signs of manticore sting anypony knew to recognize. The gathered ponies gaped at the impossible wound, even as Fluttershy cleaned and dressed it. "Are you feeling dizzy? Short of breath?" she asked him anxiously. He shook his head.

Pinkie Pie was the first to speak. "Absolutely no allergies," she said, smirking smugly at the others. Rainbow Dash gave her a disgusted look.

"It figures," she griped. "Out of ALL of us, Pinkie Pie would be the only one to get what she asked for-- with a cherry on top." Pinkie showed her mature side by giving her a raspberry.

Twilight was the first to Zecora's side. "Are you all right, Zecora?" Twilight said, fussing over the fallen zebra.

"Oh, jest FAAAAHHN," Zecora drawled, rolling her eyes. She got to her feet and looked her self over, then checked her wicker panniers. "Fuh sho dat mofo manticore almost had him a zebra sandwich wif a gillyweed salad. Dang it, most of it musta spilt out when we was a-runnin.' " The others moved to help her gather the remnants of her harvest out of the road.

Twilight saw Leo's head whip around to stare at the zebra. She had to suppress a giggle; the human was blinking his eyes at Zecora's accent and looked like he wanted to blink his ears, too. Guess the all-seeing Television didn't tell him everything, she thought mischievously.

"Dude," Rainbow Dash said. "That was incredible--"

"Astounding--" Rarity added.

"...Brave," Fluttershy whispered with a smile as she finished binding the dressing to his leg.

Applejack had Applebloom in a near death-clinch, her eyes wide at what had almost happened. The rattled filly wasn't objecting. She was too busy babbling about it. "... just came out here with Zecora to pick some gillyweed an' we heard this roaring an' all we could do is run--"

Applejack patted her on the back and murmured words of reassurance. She looked over where Leo still sat on the ground, her face wide open with disbelief. "Great Maker and Heaven above, I cain't hardly believe what I saw," she said. "Ah never woulda thought--" she stopped suddenly, cheeks reddening.

Leo chuckled, coughing a bit. "Didn't think a big fat guy like me was that strong?" he said, grinning. Applejack's face got a little redder but she didn't deny it. "I'm in a lot better shape than I look. Heck, I was thinking of competing in the Caber toss(1) at the RenFaire when you abducted me. I took up power lifting a few months back--- it builds you up like a barrel, instead of giving you big muscley shoulders and a skinny waist.  You don't look as pretty but you're loads stronger." He flexed an arm and smirked.

Applejack regarded the splintered remains of the log Leo had broken over the manticore's head. "You ain't just whistlin' Dixie, feller," she murmured in awe.

Applebloom peeled herself away from Applejack's side and approached Leo warily. "Who-- who are you?" she asked.

Leo took a knee. He seemed to swell with pride. "Little one, I am Leo Hart, the Champion of Equestria. Your Princesses have summoned me from another world to defeat the evil overlord who threatens you all, and to SAVE EQUESTRIA!" He sounded, Twilight thought, strangely like the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Applebloom's eyes went round. "Really?" she gasped. She began hopping up and down in place. "Omigosh omigosh omigosh--!"

In the back of the group, three princesses whispered together. "So much for keeping him out of trouble," Cadence said. "Little pitchers have big mouths; this is going to be all over Ponyville in an hour and all over Equestria in a week."

"Mayhap," Luna murmured, looking off in the direction the manticore had fled. "It seems Leo Hart has some surprises for us."

Celestia was grinning from ear to ear. "Indeed, Sister. He may not be what we expected, but there may be some hope for him yet!"

1)A feature of the Highland games. It basically consists of picking up a telephone pole by one end and throwing it.