We sealed up the room and gathered around the war table, and around a very nervous Artful Dodger. "All right," I said, keeping my voice low entirely out of instinct. "We have an incredible opportunity, but time is running out fast."

"Why?" someone demanded.

"Because the minute Dodger here falls asleep, Princess Luna will come dreamwalking and find out that his cover is blown," I said. "Suggestions, people."

"Simple, we erase his memory," Chrysalis said offhandedly.  Dodger looked alarmed at this.

"How?" I flicked mentally through my mental library looking for memory charms.

Chrysalis tossed her head. "I can handle that," she said. She magically summoned up a flask from the laboratory and--- oh how charming--- proceeded to spit up a mouthful of liquid into it. A few gathered at the table made gagging noises, but she ignored them. She swirled it around in the vial. Rather than the expected neon green, it was a pale blue white.

"And what is THAT?" I said.

"We Changelings call it " 'Oblivionem Lacte,' " Black Fang offered.

"And what is that in English? Or Ponish. Or whatever we're all speaking?" I said.

"Roughly translated, 'Milk of Amnesia," Chrysalis said.

"Milk of Am---" I let my helmeted head thunk on the table. "...Of course you would. MOVING ON," I said, desperately wrenching my hurting brain back on topic.

"Changelings use it all the time," Chrysalis said.  "Longer lasting, more lingering than any memory charm. How do you think I kept control of Shining Armor for so many days before the wedding? Every time he started getting suspicious, I dosed him up and erased a few hours. " She regarded the flask. "Yes, this much should blank out at least a full day."

"Oy now wait a MINUTE---" Dodger protested, pushing back from the table and as far from the glowing liquid as he could get.

Chrysalis scoffed at him. "Oh calm down, it's perfectly harmless," she said. She frowned. "Though it does have drawbacks. The larger the dose, the more likely their memories will fade back in.The brain doesn't like losing big chunks of time. Blank out more than an hour and they slowly regain the "lost" memory after a few days.... first as dreams, for three or four days--- then a waking epiphany." She shrugged. "Most Changelings prefer to just bite their victim and leave them drugged and confused. But bites show, so..."

"So once he takes that," I concluded, "We have what, a week before his memories come back?"

"Four days certain," Chrysalis said. "A week at the farthest outside."

I waved it off. Close enough for government work.  I sat there, my brain percolating. Okay, I could try the old fake-plan-real-plan routine... but I'd already done that to them once, maybe twice depending on how you counted Hilltop-Cirrus. So they'd be expecting it... but... oh. That gave me the start of ideas.

  "Okay," I said. "So we need a plan. We need two plans.... one to feed the Princesses through Dodger... and one that's for real." I regarded the map of Canterlot (updated for its palace's new mid-lake locale). "So... what particularly shiny targets do we have here in Canterlot this week?" Skank raised a paw. "What?"

"Why Canterlot?" he pointed out. "Why we no hit Manehattan, or Phillydelphia?"

"Good question, Skank," I said. "Shows you're thinking. But Philly and Manhattan are a bit far from our lair to target... for now." Several at the table chuckled darkly. "Besides, the Princesses still do everything important through the capital, probably because they want to keep an eye on it. Crap, they had a mad demigod as a lawn ornament in their front yard, instead of chucking him in a cave at the bottom of an ocean someplace a thousand miles away like sensible people.

"So, what insanely valuable, potent and/or dangerous prizes are going through Canterlot THIS week?"

"The Equestrian National Bank is getting a huge shipment of gold bullion," the minotaur leader said, jabbing a thick finger down at one point on the map. "Nothing out of the ordinary; they trade jewels to the dragons for gold, get a load of bullion every few months. But this load is coming up the river by boat and will unload on the lakeshore, from there straight to the bank vaults. The Guard will be stretched thin for it, and off their footing--- earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, and none of 'em suited for dealing with combat on the open water."

I hmmmed. "And are we?" I pointed out.

"Some of my minotaurs have worked on sailing vessels and river barges," he said. "I think we got a few sailors among the ponies, too."

I put a pin in that one. It certainly wouldn't hurt to replenish the hoard, and yanking a few million in bullion out of their economy would leave Equestria and the Princesses reeling. But would that really help my long term goal? I wanted to stick it to the Princesses, but not just by blindly breaking stuff. "Anything else?"

Black Fang cleared his throat. "My agents inform me that several large shipments of construction materials from our mutual friend in Manehattan have been passing through Canterlot by train, on way to the construction sites currently girdling the Everfree." He made a chittering noise that was half chuckle. "And apparently he himself is accompanying the final shipment, in order to secure a large bulk payment  from the crown."

Ahahaha. So, Boss Hoss was taking a little ride, was he? "I thought he was backstabbing us at a loss," I said.

"He is," Black Fang assured me. "Or rather, at cost. The payment is to cover the cost of materials. If he loses that, he could go bankrupt." Black Fang paused. "Or at least his legitimate front business would..."

"Oh, that IS tempting," I said.

"As it so happens, he will be arriving in Canterlot at the same time as the bullion shipment."

"Well darn the luck," I said sarcastically, snapping my fingers. "Gold or revenge. Decisions, decisions."

"Care go three for three?" Charcoal said. He slid a newspaper across to me. "Crystal Empire to Pay Royal Visit," the headline blared. A surprisingly sleek looking bullet train made of crystal was pictured below. "His Nibs Prince Shining Armor and Her Nibs Princess Cadence are doing some sort of semi-official visit."

"Or at least that's the cover story," Pumpkin Patch said smugly. "I got better info. The trip is a cover for delivery of something VERY important." She let the phrase hang in the air.

I sighed and played along. "And that would be...?"

"A mirror," she said. "A magic mirror. One that opens a portal to another world." There was a collective held breath around the room. I was having a little trouble breathing myself.

"And you know this how?" I said carefully.

"I actually did manage to get a few 'clients' for your potions on the inside," Pumpkin Patch said. "One of 'em likes his locoweed..."

I didn't know much about pony drugs but I knew what Locoweed was. Oh lord, I'd created a pony crack dealer. I shoved the thought away, cranked up the 'stay cool man' effect on the Amulet, and kept my voice level. "And?"

"...He used to be in the royal guard, got a sideways boot into the Crystal Empire," she said. "He was stationed right in the room the thing was kept in. Saw the whole thing. Princess Twilight herself had to chase some fugitive into another world through it--"

Aaaaaaand there went my boner for the thing. I knew all about that mirror; I was no brony, but Sparkle's little dimensional jaunt had been a movie in my world, remember. I had made efforts to confirm the story once I recalled it--- a large bribe of gold, and a castle maid had pilfered some of Twilight's notes and photographs from the trip. It was just like I'd figured;  it was a magic mirror that opened to another dimension that was, and here's the catch, almost exactly like my own world. So long as you ignored the fact that the "people" there were in bright pastel colors and had legs twice as long as their torsos. The fact that Princess Sparkle had found identical counterparts for all her pony friends was unnerving too. It was a mirror universe of Equestria-- a funhouse-mirror universe. The fact that she actually used their internet and DIDN'T have her head explode from what she saw hinted it was another crapsaccharine world like this one. I expect I would have gone even more screaming psycho THERE than I was being driven HERE.

I really couldn't believe the little dimwit had spent an entire month at a public high school trying to become prom queen, rather than just grabbing a brick, smashing that display case, grabbing the Element and getting the heck out of dodge. It made me wonder if that universe had some sort of High School Movie aura that gave everyone who went there a case of the Hollywood Stupids. The only way I would visit Equestria High was to hide in the rafters at the prom with a bucket of pig blood.

And maybe a couple of well-placed firebombs.

On the other hand... it might be possible to learn more about getting to other dimensions by examining the mirror. It might even be possible to reset it to other locales. At the very least it might be handy to have someplace to buy modern technology and goods... like saaaay, quality toilet paper? Or a few AK-47s and a few thousand bullets? Okay, a definite maybe. "A tempting target," I admitted.

"There's... one catch," Pumpkin Patch went on. "According to my inside guy, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence themselves are standing guard over it the whole way there."

Ironhide snorted derisively. "A pampered pink princess and her boy toy colt?"

I didn't get the chance to retort. Chrysalis did it first. She stood up and slinked around the table to where Ironhide sat. Then her hand whipped out, grabbed one of his horns and with astonishing strength she slammed his head into the table so hard his head bounced him back up into a sitting position. "One of the four alicorns and the second most powerful unicorns in a generation, fool," she spat at the dazed minotaur, shaking his head a little by the horn in her grip. "Either of them can shield a city singlehanded. That princess held off King Sombra by sheer force of will for days, without sleep or rest. That unicorn shielded all of Canterlot even while I was draining him spit dry. And both of them, at the absolute dregs of their strength, managed to blast my entire army clear to the badlands." She paused and added with dry amusement, "--- And then they went, got married, and boogied the night away at their reception as if it were no big deal.

"Those two can smash armies without aid," she concluded. "You would be wise to remember that when planning to confront them." She let his horn go and returned to her seat. Ironhide clutched his head, groaning.

"A good point to remember," I noted. "It smells like a trap as well."

"How could it be?" Dodger had gotten back some of his pluck. "If it was, they wouldn't ruddy let you know it was protected by Their Royal Romanticnesses."

"A point," Black Fang said. "But then again, ponies underestimate those two.... they would expect Lord Vulcan to do the same." He made a sweeping gesture towards Ironhide.

Flim and Flam chipped in. "Oh no, my beamish boy," Flim said.

"If one wishes to see what an obvious trap looks like--" said Flam.

"One needs look no further than here." Flim had his own newspaper; he flipped it over to a section in the middle and slid it across the table to me. I picked it up and looked over the article he'd circled in red. "Canterlot Royal Library to put Historical Grimoires on Display," it said. It went on to describe the ancient texts that were going to be on display at the library for the next few weeks, listing their authors and some of their accomplishments. Starswirl the Bearded was among the notables; also listed were several gryphons, a couple of dragons... I was surprised to see that more than a few had been mages well on the Dark side of the Force, including some outright villains. "Krastos the Glue Maker?" Yeek. The accompanying picture showed the volumes on display in sealed glass cases.

"All these other things? They're more or less regular day to day business in Canterlot. Gold shipments? Equestria's wealth funnels in and out of Canterlot. Magic artifacts? They've been hoarding magic doodads there under lock and key since the day the first foundation was laid."

"What, they run out of crumbling buildings to abandon them in?" I snarked under my breath.

"But this?" Flam reached over and tapped the paper with a hoof. "Pulling those tomes out of whatever dark airless vault they hid them in? Putting them out where ponies can see them? This is unusual in the extreme." He put his hooves together. "And well, Your Dark Overlordship, you have a reputation for loving books."

"A pretty obvious clue that it's a trap," I agreed. I read on and rolled my eyes. "That, and when they were asked about me possibly trying to steal the volumes, they apparently  gave a long speech about how 'We shall not be intimidated by the crass, craven likes of the low-born vulgar etcetera etcetera..' Could they be more obvious? They might as well have been yelling 'Neener Neener, we double dog dare you.' "

Then it hit me like a bolt from the blue. Oh. Oh yes. Oh yesssssss this was going to be good. I started to chuckle. "All right, ladies and gentlemen," I said. "Here's the plan..." I broke it down for them. They looked confused at first, then suspicious, then looks of dawning wonder spread over their faces. I was going to have a reputation as the next Napoleon after this was all done.

Artful Dodger heard the outline, and cackled madly. "Oh, wot I'd give to see the look on their faces---!" he said.

"Glad you approve. And now... to plant the fake info." I picked up the bottle of Milk of Amnesia and set it in front of him. "Bottoms up."

He looked at the liquid, his face turning a little greenish. "Is this part really needed?" he said wistfully to me. I made no reply. With a groan and a nervous swallow, he picked up the bottle and, face scrunched like a dried apple, swiftly chugged it down in one swig. He set the bottle down. "Bloody 'ell, that tastes like---"

CLUNK. He faceplanted into the table. Chrysalis watched as Eiderdown quickly moved to nurse his bruised face, her mouth set in a moue of disappointment . "I still don't know what they think it tastes like," she said with a sigh. "They always pass out before they get to that part."

"You never asked them after they wake back up?" I said.

"They never remember," she replied.

Dodger sat back up with a snort. "I'm awake, I'm awake!" he yelped. He looked at me guiltily.

I didn't miss my cue. "You fell asleep in the meeting," I said. "Again."

He looked sheepish. "Did I miss anything?"

I turned the newspaper with the article on the grimoire showing around so he could read the headline. "It seems Celestia and Luna bungled," I said. "We have a new mission six days from now, and you're central to it. This will be your target..."

I quickly outlined the false plan for the library heist, stressing Dodger's role, and that he would be the leader of the team that pulled it off. I told him the ponies that would be in on it, how and when he was to proceed, every detail I could think of. He ate it up eagerly, totally thrilled at getting to head up an entire mission by himself. When I was sure he'd soaked up every detail, I dismissed the meeting and unlocked the war room doors. "Go on," I told him. "You have things to prepare. The rest of us have other details to discuss. Oh Eiderdown, could you stay back a moment? And Dodger, send Wolftooth to me; I need to speak to him." Dodger gave me a tip of his hat, gave Eiderdown a peck on the cheek, and sauntered from the room. The doors boomed shut behind them.

The moment he was gone Chrysalis rounded on me. "I told you that the Milk would only last for four days before it starts fading," she said. "This is all going to take place a week from now-- he will start regaining his memories by then. In his dreams, first." She didn't need to say Luna's name to get across what that meant.

"Good, that's part of the plan." I grabbed a sheet of paper and began writing hastily. "All right, everyone," I said. "Now for the REAL real plan..." I got a round of confused looks, but as I wrote, I explained. They'd been surprised at my first plan. Now they were flabbergasted. The guards cracked the door open a short while later and Wolftooth came floating in, alighting on the table as I stuck the letter I'd written in an envelope. "All right you two," I told him and Eiderdown. "Your Master is going to be pulling off a covert operation in a few days. It's so covert even he doesn't know about it. I'm telling you this next bit in order to make sure everything goes as planned."

I dug around in my cloak pockets and pulled out something tiny, hard and black. Several seconds of careful spell-weaving and I was done. I dropped the enchanted bit of plastic into the envelope and sealed it with a blot of candle wax. "Eiderdown, you need to give Dodger this letter when he gets to the lookout point. But not a moment sooner, understand?" She nodded. "Wolf Tooth, I'm telling you this next bit so that Dodger will know that this is for real. He's going to be very confused, and you and Eiderdown have to persuade him to trust the letter. Got it?" The pixy pony saluted. "Good."

I rested my elbows on the table and laced my gauntleted fingers together. "Now, Dodger thinks he's going to be breaking into the Canterlot Library to steal some very valuable books. He's NOT going to be doing that. This is what he's going to be doing, instead..."