For as much as William was loathe to return to the barracks, he had to admit that at least they were better looking than the maid’s quarters.

There was a distinguishable space along the walls where the alabaster walls shifted into large bricks, almost as if the barracks were added into the palace as an afterthought rather than built with original intent. The thick stone bricks composing the hall into the guard’s barracks were high and wide, and were occasionally broken by tall windows all the way to the barracks. Whereas the similar architecture was reminiscent of the maid’s quarters and the lower level kitchens that William had seen, it didn’t look anywhere near as grungy. Perhaps it was because of the better lighting.

Or perhaps, he thought vaguely to himself as he dragged the cleaning supplies with him, it was because someone was constantly being sent to clean the barracks.

William sighed heavily as he rounded a corner, lugging the heavy bucket full of supplies with him. Maybe it was just going to be one of those days. And hadn’t any of them ever heard of wheels?

“Mornin’,” one of the guards nodded toward him, a grey earth pony stallion. His frizzy green mane stuck out beneath his helmet, and he looked as if he had just woken up. He scratched a bit of stubble on his chin, staring at William. “Sent ‘cha back already, eh?”

William nodded, continuing on.

“Yes. Excuse me, please.”

The stallion frowned, furrowing his eyebrows before cutting off William’s path.

“Uh, ‘scuse me,” he scowled, and William bit back an angry retort. “Forgetting something?”

“No,” William stated flatly, his arms tiring from the weight of the supplies. “The guard’s cafeteria is relatively unforgettable. Excuse me, please.”

The grey stallion’s nostrils flared, and although a couple of other guards passed by, neither of them said anything.

“Unforgettable, sir?” the guard replied crossly, baring down at him.

“You don’t have to call me ‘sir’.”

William was jolted when his bucket of supplies was sent crashing to the ground by the stallion’s angry swipe, and he ground his teeth at the injustice.

“You look here, runt,” the grey guard scowled at him. “I oughtta –!”

Whack.

The guard’s head tilted forward suddenly at a surprisingly steep angle, his look of anger not even changing so swift was the motion. He blinked, the resounding slap to the back of the head finally registering as he spun on the spot.

“Ought to behave like you belong in the royal guard, yeah,” the golden brown unicorn standing directly behind him deadpanned, and the guard snapped to attention. The hoary grey mane stuck out from the unicorn’s head, looking almost as if it had been removed and then tacked back on at a very slight angle.

“C-Captain Spear, sir!” the stallion stood rigidly, hoof cracking sharply to his head as he saluted.

“Let me guess. You’re hung over again, aren’t you, lieutenant?”

The grey guard cleared his throat a couple of times, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Dismissed.”

Throughout the ordeal, William was busy scrambling to collect the supplies, and was surprised to see a couple of the items such as towels and scrubbing pads slowly levitating in a dim, silvery glow before dropping into his bucket.

“A little late, aren’t you?” the older unicorn blinked at him, and William attempted a similar salute.

“I apologize, sir,” William tried to match Captain Spear’s height, failing poorly.

“Trimming? I got the message,” he added casually as they continued toward the guard’s barracks cafeteria, and William walked quickly alongside his lanky strides. “The one with the skirt thing, right? Willy-ham? I’m th’ captain of these sad sacks. Call me Captain Silver.”

William self-consciously tried to pull the lacy abomination down a little further, silently cursing everyone responsible, himself included.

“Er- yes sir,” he focused instead on the rim of the wooden bucket, thinking rather unpleasant thoughts whenever the name Silver crossed his mind. “I’m sorry about the time, it won’t happen again.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it!” Silver Spear chortled good naturedly as they trundled into the busy cafeteria. “You just don’t worry your pretty little head about it, a good captain never leaves somepony in distress.”

And before William could so much as utter another word, Captain Silver whistled loudly as they entered, causing the hustle and bustle to immediately come to a painfully grinding halt.

“All right!” Silver’s voice burst out so loudly that it made William’s ears ring, and he was certain that anyone within a mile could have heard him. “The lot o’ you, listen up! I’ve gotten word that this here young missy hasn’t been gettin’ th’ right treatment, so you useless lumps need t’shape up in the company o’ ladies!”

A quiet round of laughter went around the entire room, and a heavy rock seemed to settle on William’s stomach.

William wordlessly began attempting to make himself as small as possible, to a great extent wishing that he could shrink enough to hide behind the bucket. Or better yet, hide beneath the stony floor and never, ever come out.

“Um… a-actually-” he started, his voice barely rising above a croaky whisper. Silver Spear seemed not to hear, however.

“And if I hear so much as a peep-” Spear’s gratingly loud voice jabbed William’s ears further, “-that the little missy here’s getting a hard time from anypony-”

“Um, s-sir-”

“-There is gonna be such a flank-whooping that you’ll wish you’d only been demoted for giving a filly-”

“I’m a boy.”

Silver Spear’s words died right in his throat, and he blinked a couple of times before looking at William. He didn’t even say anything at first, simply turning back to the silent onlooking crowd a couple of times before looking William thoroughly up and down.

“… Wait, what?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m not a girl, sir.” William answered gracelessly.

“… You, uh… you don’t look like a – well, I mean, I didn’t, uh…”

Silver coughed into his hoof modestly, looking away once more before returning to the quieted conversation as William tried as hard as he could to turn invisible.

“… Are you pulling my leg?” the captain frowned hard, uncertain.

“No, sir. I distinctly lack the required genitalia to be referred to as belonging to the female gender.”

“… Oh.”

And with that, Silver Spear turned on the spot and left without another word.

“Yo! Will-ay!”

William groaned internally, Eris’s familiar voice flaying his ears.

“What is it now, Eris?” he growled, dragging a pair of freshly wrung mops into one of the numerous supply closets scattered throughout the palace. After the morning he’d had, all he really wanted to do by this point was to finish with his work and return to the solitude of his cot.

“So, I heard you’s a filly now,” Velvet surprised him by leaning with a smirk around Eris, wide grin on her face growing larger with his look of horror.

“You know, come to think of it, he was kind of girly before,” Eris sniggered, patting the exasperated boy on the head.

“I am not girly!” William clamped his fists, excruciatingly aware that his voice was indeed quite a bit higher than he intended it to be.

“Okay,” she winked. “Check to see if your feet are wet, ‘cause your knee deep in de Nile.”

“I am not in denial!” he fumed through his clenched teeth.

“Yikes!” Eris smirked, holding up her hands in artificial terror. “Sounds like somebody’s still got thistles in their vagina.”

“THERE ARE NOT STILL THISTLES IN MY VAGINA!” William shouted.

“Good to hear it,” one of the passing maids giggled, traipsing off in the direction of the winding staircase at the eastern end of the hall. William’s face spasmed violently, and Velvet shook her head, grinning.

“Aw, come on,” she poked the snickering draconequus in the thigh. “Quit picking on ‘im, Eris.”

“Thank you kindly, Miss Velvet, but I daresay that she isn’t going to listen,” William replied with a hint of gratitude toward the filly.

Eris stuck out her tongue, which lolled wildly like loose taffy down her chin before snapping back up.

“Hey,” she smiled lewdly at William as he furiously snapped the supply closet shut. “Hey, Will. Wanna see what else I can do with my tongue?”

Velvet snorted, and shook her head again.

“I’ve gotta split,” the filly rubbed the back of her head sheepishly after a few seconds, her red mane flying around from the force. “Missus Trimming is makin’ me scrub out ventilation shafts, every one of ‘em. Can you believe that?”

“Pfft, ch’ya,” Eris leaned unconcernedly against the wall, rolling her eyes. “I had to clean out chamber pots. Seriously, who still uses chamber pots?”

William wordlessly tried to step around Eris, who only wrapped her tail around his midsection. He kept walking for a couple of moments afterwards, not even noticing that he wasn’t actually going anywhere.

“How ‘bout you, tiny?” the draconequus grinned at him, and his eyes narrowed as he pried her tail from around him.

“None of your business,” he grimaced. “And don’t call me tiny. Did you decide to bring my pants back yet?”

Eris responded by flipping up his skirt.

“Cut that out!” he jammed the hem down with both hands. “Velvet, would you kindly…?”

William turned toward the redheaded filly for assistance, but she was already gone. He sighed in annoyance, shoulders sagging.

“Geez. Am I really bugging you that much?” Eris frowned, crossing her arms with a very slight look of genuine concern on her face.

“Yes!” he threw up his own in vexation. “We wouldn’t even be in this situation if it weren’t for you!”

The draconequus started to angrily reply, but faltered shortly afterwards. Her mouth ever so slowly closed, and Eris’s eyes lingered on him. She cupped her chin in her paw, squinting her eyes and looking at the slightly breathless boy for a few quiet moments.

“Huh. Okay,” she nodded slowly before grinning again. “Let’s play a game.”

“… I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Nah, it’ll be great!” Eris threw an arm onto his shoulder enthusiastically, at which point William quietly exhaled through his nose. “No, but seriously. If you win, I’ll give you all of your pants back.”

“Fantastic,” he deadpanned as Eris steered him away, almost dragging him.

“And,” she smirked. “And, I’ll even sweeten the pot. If you win, I swear on Celestia’s wide white ass that I will totally leave you alone for the rest of the month.”

William’s ears perked up at this, and a spring of hope began to blossom. Of course, that was quickly shot down by his more calculating side, which vehemently protested the very thought of Eris keeping her word.

“What kind of game are we talking about?” William asked finally, and Eris’s toothy smirk grew wider.

“Hide and go seek.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, seriously!” Eris tried to look earnest, although really all she was doing was hiding her smirk behind her paw. “If you win, I’ll totally leave you alone. I won’t even talk to you for the whole month, how ‘bout that?”

The prospect was beginning to sound better and better to William as scenarios flashed through his mind, and he simultaneously pondered hiding places.

“What’s the catch?” he asked as Eris turned him around a corner, marching toward another end of the palace and passing a couple of curious pegasus guards.

“The catch,” she grinned even wider than before, “is that if you win, I leave you alone for a month. But if I win…”

She leaned down and cupped her paw over his ear, whispering intently.

“… You want me to what?!” he sputtered, cheeks burning fiercely.

“You heard me,” Eris giggled profusely. “If you lose, you hafta do it.”

William froze, his thoughts a blur.

“One whole mo~onth,” she said in a singsong tune.

He glowered up at her, face steely.

“… You’re on,” he answered breathlessly. “See you next month, Eris.”

William had already started away stiffly before Eris snagged the back of his collar. William jerked to a stop, whirling around in confusion.

“Uh, where do you think you’re going?” the draconequus cocked an eyebrow, hint of a sneer growing on her lips.

“To… play a game of hide and go seek…?” he countered. “Or do you not know the definition of ‘game’?”

Eris scoffed, throwing back her mess of white hair and rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, no. Follow me, tiny; I’ll show you where we’re fooling around at.”

William did not particularly care for just how ominous that sounded.

William was rather surprised by the massive amount of sheer greenery that stood before them.

Enormous emerald protrusions marred the landscape, clutching eagerly at the air in vain attempts to drag the sky itself down. High, towering walls of green zigzagged every which way, standing as silent sentinels to the whispering tinkle of the stone fountain behind them. Dark and looming as the gigantic labyrinths of Daedalus, William swallowed hard as he envisioned the entire hedge maze positively swarming with bloodthirsty minotaurs.

“Nope,” William blurted almost promptly, spinning roughly on the spot. His legs kicked riotously at free air when Eris caught him by the midriff with her tail, swinging him slowly back around.

“Ooh. Give up already?” she grinned at him with eagerness, carefully putting him back down. William flattened his uniform roughly, eying the hedge maze warily.

“Eris,” he stated cautiously. “That looks more like a death trap than any kind of ‘game’.”

“Aw, come on!” she whined. “We’re just foolin’ around for a bit, dude. It’s just a hedge maze.”

William thrust out an arm sideways at it, never dropping his deadpan gaze from her.

“For god’s sake, Eris,” William retorted. “Will you just look at how portentous and downright foreboding that thing looks?”

Eris snorted.

“Oh, yeah. Like the freaking bushes are all that ominious.”

Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance.

“… Ignore that,” she continued. “Let’s do this!”

“No.” William crossed his arms over his chest. “There is no way in hell that I’m going in there.”

“Oh, good,” Eris leaned over him, hands on her hips. “Then that means that I win by default.”

William’s jaw dropped and he tried to speak, but his words failed him. Instead, he only wound up scowling at the smirking draconequus, and threw his hands down as he stomped toward the hedge maze.

“Fine,” he burned, tramping along the grass angrily.

“Whoa, hold up!” Eris scuttled after him. “Rules, tiny. Rules.”

“Since when do you care ab-”

“First!” she interrupted him. “First, you gotta get all the way through to the other side, without me finding you. If I find you, you lose.”

“… Eris, that is not hide and-”

“Secondly,” she pushed him ahead. “You only get a ten second head start before I come in after ya.”

William blinked, stumbling.

“Wait, what?”

“Nine, eight-”

“Eris, that isn’t-”

“Six, five…!”

William swore under his breath, darting off into the menacing archways and through the maze as fast as his feet would carry him. He pounded across the ground, rapidly taking as many twists and turns as he could to put distance between himself and the draconequus. It wasn’t long before William was completely out of breath, but the looming prospect of what would happen should he fail spurred him onward. It just wasn’t fair; it wasn’t a game of hide and seek at all, it was cat and mouse!

Left, right, right, left, right, left, left again, right – no matter how William tried to remember which way he went, he couldn’t seem to remember quite where the last turn was. Everything looked exactly identical, and the fear of being caught pounded like his heartbeat in his ears.

William frowned when he came to yet another fork, uncertain of which way to turn.

A rapid rustling from behind one of the bushy walls to his left made his skin prickle, and thinking quickly, William hurriedly tore a bit of cloth from the end of his skirt and jammed it roughly onto one of the leafy barriers to the left before darting down the fork on his right. He allowed himself a tiny grin, turning sharply again as he hoped his distraction would prove useful.

And, for a few minutes, he believed that it did. William was discouraged to find yet another dead end, the massive wall of greenery almost laughing back at him. Thinking furiously as to the directions he had bolted down, William swiftly ripped another small piece from the hem of his uniform before sticking it on another random offshoot of the maze, quickly hurrying in the opposite direction. Hopefully, Eris would only grow more confused with the more scraps she found, giving him a little extra time to escape.

His feeble smile faded quickly when he discovered a small arrow shaped from pebbles pointing directly at him. William’s heartbeat picked back up again, and his eyes darted in as many directions as they could. Eris must have already been there… or was laying a trap for him.

Something whistled jarringly overhead, making him jump.

William scanned the sky in panic, but found nothing. Urged onward yet again, William fought the urge to simply begin digging through the walls in desperation. That would lead to panic, and panic would cause capture to ensue. He couldn’t afford to lose to Eris, no matter the cost.

With bolstered determination, William spotted a wooden bench smack dab in the middle of the maze, adjacent to another of the stone wishing well fountains similar to the one just outside the hedges, and William tucked away the area for reference. It was likely that he was somewhere around the center, and-

Violent swooshing caught his attention yet again, and once more he looked upward in nervousness only to find nothing. He nearly let out a breath of relief when he heard Eris’s taunting call from somewhere behind him.

“Yoo~hoo! Where are you?” the draconequus called out to him teasingly. “Kitty Eris is going to find the little mouse~y…!”

Dread deafening him, William was struck with another idea. He feverishly tugged off his shoes, dunking them both straight into the water fountain. Throwing a harried look over his shoulder in fear, William jerked them away and began slapping them against the ground down another random path, and was swift to jam them hard into one of the hedges to hide his shoes. Without pause, he scurried as fast and silently as he could in another opposite direction, his bare feet sliding over the grass like a pair of ghosts as his pursuer drew in closer.

William bolted harder, feet making painfully loud noise as he nearly tripped over a root in his zeal to escape. Heart banging loudly against his ribcage, William stifled his strained breathing with one hand, sneaking down yet another path in what he urgently wished were the correct one.

It was then that something occurred to William.

What if there was no exit?

Clearly Eris had been here before if she knew about it, and that left William at a further disadvantage. Panic rose in his chest again, and he vainly fought it back in favor of tramping onward. He didn’t have to outrun her, he only had to outsmart her. So long as he could leave enough false clues, eventually Eris would slip up and make a mistake, leaving him ample time to escape the maze. Sweat beaded along his back and forehead, and William found himself at his umpteenth dead end.

“Dammit!” he clenched his fists. Once again, William heard a tight zipping overhead, and he almost caught a sight of something this time – however, all he could see was a tiny, almost imperceptible streak of blue.

“Ah-ha!”

William clapped his hand over his mouth in terror, but too late – he could already hear the draconequus fast approaching. Forsaking all attempts to stay on the path lest he get caught, William violently began tearing into the nearest leafy wall next to him. It was surprisingly ample, but also very thick; William had difficulty even squeezing his arm through. Another surge of adrenaline pressing him to action, William jammed his whole head into the blockade, desperately kicking to clamber through. He managed to fit his entire torso through the hole, almost there…!

Kicking and squirming faster and faster, William clutched uselessly as he tried to squash himself through the opening, up to his waist… almost out, almost out!

William shrieked when he felt something grab his ankle, dragging him roughly back through the hole.

“Gotcha!” Eris whooped in victory, and William wriggled and gasped when she tickled him mercilessly.

“Le-leggo!” he tried in vain not to laugh as she targeted his armpits, pinning him to the ground.

“Nuh~uh…!” she giggled, snatching his wrists and continuing her assault with the fuzzy tip of her tail. “I thought you said you weren’t ticklish?” Eris grinned as he kicked hopelessly at nothing.

“I give up, I give up!” William laughed hysterically as she tickled his stomach, tears streaming down his face as he gasped for breath. “You win, I give up already!”

“My favorite words,” she finally released him, where he lay winded and twitching. “Looks like ya lose, tiny.”

The last fragments of William’s laughs were cut short by her words, and the looming sense of dread returned as he stared up at the cloudy sky.

“… Oh, god, I should never have agreed to this.”

“Probably not,” Eris admitted with a smirk. “I won, fair and square. Time for my prize.”

William moaned quietly into his palms, closing his eyes.

It was definitely going to be one of those days.

Rainbow Dash stared up at the faded paintings of fillies all over the exterior of the two story brick building, the stonewashed and rain bleached images seeming even gloomier up close.

It pained her to refrain from taking off straight to Canterlot, but she had made a promise. Even if there was still that little niggling voice in the back of her head telling her that she was probably fast enough to make it there and back without Pinkie Pie even knowing…

Rainbow Dash shook her head, wiping the thoughts from her mind. She just needed to stay calm, go find Scootaloo and work things out without anything getting any worse than it had to.

Daisy Seed’s Home for Fillies, the tacked on sign read, which was nearly as worn as the paintings themselves. Rainbow Dash blew a puff of air up through the bangs of her mane, knocking hard on the heavy wooden door a couple of times before entering. A tinkling bell sounded above her, and her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the building shortly afterwards.

“Oh, hello, there!” a slightly pudgy brown mare beamed at her, ceasing her taping of pictures to the wall next to a stack of filing cabinets. Her equally dusty coffee colored mane fell over her eyes, but she paid it no mind – and judging from the cutie mark of a bundle of wilting sunflowers on her flank, Dash already guessed who the chipper mare might be. The only light in the room came from the wide window behind a small desk in front of it on the far wall.

“Daisy, right?” she predicted, and the coffee colored earth pony radiated at her speculation.

“Nope!” the mare answered. “That’d be my grandmother, dearie – you can call me Miss Root. But all the fillies ‘round here call me Rooty – Tooty, just so y’know!”

Root had an unexpectedly thick accent, almost bovine, but she didn’t question it.

“Oh. Uh, ‘kay. Root,” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, looking around at the grayish and dingy entrance room, almost creepily completely covered in pictures of fillies of all sorts. She even started looking for Scootaloo’s face out of habit, but didn’t find her. “I’m actually here to see somepony.”

“Oh, really?” Root perked up, dropping the roll of tape onto her desk eagerly. “Well, I’m sure-”

“Uh, just to visit,” Rainbow Dash clarified. “I was really just wanting to talk to Scootaloo for a few minutes, it’s really important.”

“Ah, so sorry t’tell you, dearie,” the coffee colored mare shook her head without a single ounce of remorse. “Little Miss ‘breaks-all-the-rules’ isn’t here, she already left.”

“Where to?” Dash pressed with urgency.

Root shrugged casually, gathering up a few more washed-out photographs from the top of her desk. She almost asked why she had pictures of fillies and colts if it was an orphanage for just fillies, but waited for her answer to the first question instead.

“I think…” Root leisurely began at last, and Rainbow Dash’s wings were almost clamped against her sides in irritation of the seemingly deliberate slowness. “You know, dearie, I think I know where she went to, come to think of it!”

“Where?” Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof nervously against the floor, worry for the filly starting to kick up again. “Where did she go?”

“Oh, you know,” Root waved her hoof lazily. “Off to see one of her little friends there, don’tcha know. Some little rich thing, you know how these kinds of fillies are – always hanging around the more popular or richer ones out of jealousy.”

“Name?” Dash really was tapping her hoof against the floor, although she wanted confirmation first.

“Hmm. You know…” Root rubbed her chin distractedly, making Rainbow Dash want to shout at her for being so slow to answer. “I think it might’a been, oh… Tiara, maybe?”

“That’s all I needed to know,” Rainbow Dash whirled on the spot, marching back out into the daylight, if only to get away from the irksome mare. Her mind roiled as she trotted, and she was already panting with the effort of her strides.

Scootaloo was at the Rich residence, for sure. If she wanted answers, she had to get… to…

Her thoughts eventually came to a screeching halt, although her legs didn’t. Scootaloo was over at the Rich residence. The marks on her little body had to have come from somewhere, didn’t they? And William, he had been there before and had come back home trying to hide similar marks…!

Rainbow Dash scolded herself for her folly, wondering how she could have been so stupid as to think that they might have been self-inflicted. She should have seen it before!

It all clashed together so seamlessly, it made perfect sense. It would seem that Mister Rich was having a bit of fun with the young of Ponyville.

Rainbow Dash’s blood boiled at the mere thought, head swimming with the sheer level of outright hate that made her skin burn. He was abusing Scootaloo, he had harmed William, he hurt her little colt! How many others had he harmed, just how long had he been getting away with it?

It was a while before Rainbow Dash even realized that she had been galloping the entire time, and blasted into the air without another moment’s pause. She pumped her wings powerfully, anger stinging her chest and pushing her on even faster as sound was torn from her ears. Dash knew the resounding boom would follow such a swift takeoff, but she was neither bothered that she couldn’t hear it nor even remotely interested.

The only thing that occupied her mind now was hunting down Filthy Rich and beating him black and blue.

Author's Notes:

DA NA DA NA NA NA.
MOUSETRAP.