“Do you even pay attention?” William asked in exasperation, watching the boy pull his finger out of his nose in equal parts horror and fascination. “Or does everything simply pass you by?”

“I try not to get worried ‘bout stuff,” Ronald shrugged, kicking his feet in boredom as one of the other children barreled past. The boy watched enviously as they tore screaming across the lawn with the rubber ball, but stayed for the sake of his friend.

“Perhaps next time you’ll actually think before attempting something of the sort,” William sniffed haughtily, marking the page in his book. “And your glasses are absolutely coated in grime, why don’t you ever clean those wretched things?”

Although William’s words were cold and apparently indifferent, Ronald knew better. They both knew that he did, though neither would admit it. Behind those thin and dirty glasses burned a fire – an intense spirit, one that he regarded with both fear and quiet respect that bordered strangely on contempt.

Ronald crossed his eyes, simultaneously freezing in place as he did so.

“Mah glasses?” he peered down at his own freckled nose, unscrewing his eyes and continuing his kicking with renewed glee. “Sister Franky said she’s gonna make sure I get some new ones if’n they get real badder then ‘fore.”

“That entire sentence was a grammatical Guantanamo Bay,” William deadpanned. “You should take care of what you have, you putrid tactless ogre.”

“Shows what you know,” Ronald stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry. “And ‘sides, I been eatin’ lots of carrots so now I’m not even gonna need ‘em anymore.”

“Brilliant,” he returned to his book on Indian tribal history with a flat expression. “Truly, your foresight surpasses even that of a clairvoyant.”

“Uh… is that a compliment?”

William quietly closed his book, turning to stare at him. Ronald blinked, confusedly blowing a lock of his dirty hair from behind his glasses.

“… Sure. Why not.”

“Coolio!” Ronald punched him in the arm. William yelped, scowling and rubbing his sore shoulder.

“Will you cut that out already?” his eyes narrowed sharply.

“Aw, I barely tapped ya.”

“You’re nearly three times my size, you gargantuan buffoon.”

Ronald blinked.

“Is that a compliment too?”

“I hate you sometimes,” William sighed quietly.

“But not ALL the time!” Ronald crowed victoriously, standing atop the wooden bench and thrusting his fist heroically into the sky.

“Please sit down,” he was quick to hide behind his book again, noticeably having drawn the looks of the older boys already. “You’re going to get us in trouble, nimrod.”

“Bah, come off it, Willie-dillie-o!”

Ronald hopped off the bench, landing firmly on his feet and jamming his fists hard onto his hips.

“What, you’s thinking I’m too loud again?”

“Just sit down and shut up already. If Sister Clarence doesn’t make us go back inside and ruin our recess, you’re going to get Jeremy angry at us again.”

Ronald only laughed, the sound of which the older boys leaning in the shade of the building paid unsettlingly close attention to.

“So?” he shrugged carelessly, hoping to infect William with some of his energy and failing spectacularly.

“SO, we’re going to get beat up, you blithering ape!”

“Ha ha, let ‘em try!” Ronald slammed his fist into his open palm, and one of the older boys quietly stepped on the cigarette that he was hiding. “Maybe if you’d fight fer once they’d quit being jerks.”

“I don’t fight people, Ronald. That sort of thing is left to unscrupulous rogues such as yourself to absorb the brunt of the assault.”

“That’s jus’ girly talk,” he rolled his eyes. “I can take ‘em! They try to mess with me an’ mah bud, I’ll kick the poop right outta their asses!”

“Yes, thank you for that lovely visual.”

“You’re welcome!”

Icy water lapped over his scorched palms, the bandages lying in a pile on the edge of the sink. Glinting linoleum seemed a little duller the longer that William stared at his reflection. His bangs had grown long enough to cover his eyebrows, and almond eyes glaring dully back at him. William mindlessly tried to brush back the mess, revealing the furrowed lines on his forehead as he scowled hatefully at his mirror image.

The hair was really the only part left that he needed to take care of, he thought to himself vaguely as he finally shut off the water. It had been difficult and slightly painful to tend to his cracked and unkempt nails and finally return them to their prim and trimmed state as he was used to. Hair neatly in place once more, William soon returned to focusing on emptying his face of expression.

Then, he smiled.

The crinkles on his cheeks seemed horridly unnatural, and he dropped the look immediately. Again he forced a smile, larger this time. It had the same effect as before of seeming plastic and hollow, and he refrained from gripping the cold sink edge in frustration. It wouldn’t do any good getting angry at himself – rage was a shortcut and an excuse to refrain from effort.

William narrowed his eyes coldly and slowed his breathing, calming his heartbeat and continuing his cleanup. Those with even a modicum of intelligence could see through a ruse easily. A proper lie needed an inkling of truth in it to deceive suitably, and his repeated attempts at ‘natural’ were infuriatingly empty. He eventually slipped away from his train of thought and onto another as he quietly busied himself, careful not to slip from the stool he stood on to see into the mirror properly.

He didn’t like the look of his own eyes.

Not from what he could detect, but because of what he couldn’t.

You have your father’s eyes.

William’s frown returned in an instant, his brows fiercely furrowing and carving his face into a hateful scowl. He twitched, forcing himself to return to blankness. Emptiness was a blank slate with which he could work. Again he tried smiling, for the umpteenth time achieving the same failure. It might have been from showing too many teeth.

He allowed his fake grin to shrink, lips tightly pursed into an upturned grimace.

Failure.

Falsifier.

Disgusting.

Freak.

Sicko.

The smile faded slowly, melting into his face. William breathed quietly through his nostrils, shoulders heaving as he stared through himself. Clearly he needed more practice. He was losing his touch; or perhaps he just didn’t have quite the ‘touch’ as he assumed, and was such in need of correcting such an egregious error.

Pinkie Pie had the most natural smile that he had ever seen, even when he knew that she was trying to hide something. There was a little wrinkle near her eyes from how much her cheeks rose that he couldn’t quite match. Maybe it was because she always seemed to have a genuine reason to smile – and if she didn’t, she would always find one.

But thinking about the mare didn’t make him smile.

If anything, it only made him miss her more.

Bastard.

Liar.

Weirdo.

Weakling.

It’s always your fault.

“Uh…” Rainbow Dash blinked, the door having opened a crack in startling silence.

The tube of lipstick clattered noisily into the sink. William’s stomach instantly churned in angry, violent knots. He gaped in outright aghast horror in the mirror at the blankly staring pegasus behind him, a sick invisible punch to his gut nearly making him drop to his knees had he not already been leaning on the sink.

William tried to form words, but found his lips too tightly mashed together to say anything. Blood was rushing from his face so fast that he wondered how the rest of his body would fare. He swiftly turned from a pale color to a rather unexpected tinge of pink, then to an off colored greyish hue in a matter of moments.

“… That’s, uh… nice outfit,” Dash said after a horribly tense eternity of absolute stunned silence. William’s grip on the sink was so tight that his knuckles had begun to turn a pasty shade of white. No matter how hard he tried to return her gaze, he couldn't do anything aside from stare down at the stained mark on the sink where the lipstick had fallen. He wanted to look up – he wanted to force his neck up and look back at her, but somewhere deep down he feared that she would look away from him if he tried. The terror of such a simple reaction seemed completely irrational, but nonetheless heavy enough to drop an invisible weight on his back and keep him from looking.

“… We’re about ready,” he heard her voice, but for as quiet and clear as it was, it seemed distant and strangely watery in his ears. “Should be leaving in a couple of minutes.”

William said nothing.

Rainbow Dash fell quiet as the door closed behind her. The smear on the whiteness slowly became blurrier the longer that he looked at it.

“You look kind of cute like that,” Dash said quietly, giving him a small, slow peck on the cheek.

“… I’ll wear the wet clothes. They’ll dry,” he answered in a throaty whisper, eyes hidden.

“Are you okay?” her hoof sidled onto his shoulder, and again William feared that he would fall. He could hear the concern in her voice, and he knew what kind of look she would be giving him if he looked up – but even if he had the strength to raise his head and face her, he dared not. He couldn’t manage it, he couldn’t look at her. Maybe not ever again, from the way he felt.

“Yes, Mother. I am fine.”

You’re revolting.

Princess, what exactly makes a monster?

You’ve gotta quit talking like that, not everypony sees things the same way.

Put the glasses on for me.

Why did you adopt me?

I don’t know what happened. It was an accident.

For the same reason I do everything – because I love everypony, silly filly!

He felt her hoof under his chin, gently but forcibly turning him up to look at her. Rainbow Dash’s anxious squint slowly faded away when she saw his peacefully upturned lips, her heartbeat slowing.

“Everything is fine,” William explained quietly through his small smile. “May I have another few minutes Mother? I shall be along presently.”

“Sure thing, Squirt,” Dash beamed at last, giving him another relieved kiss on the forehead before slipping out. “Just don’t take too long, slowpoke, or we might leave without ya!”

William smiled pleasantly at her the entire time, his too-forced grin locked into place the entire while. The door finally closed again after what felt like hours had passed, each second seeming to drag on like a year. He kept right on smiling at the spot where she had been, his false enthusiasm thrown at nothing but the wooden door. His face hurt from holding the plastic grin for so long, but he felt no relief from releasing it. He certainly wasn’t smiling when his knees finally buckled and he collapsed in silence to the floor, shaking and quivering like a leaf in the wind.

“Yeesh,” Eris swung her tail around in one of her hands in a circle, leaning against the wall outside the house. “Took ya long enough.”

“I apologize,” William stated stiffly as he marched in damp clothes directly behind Dash, who rolled her shoulders as she started toward the gate with a colored box in one hoof. “I lost track of time.”

Eris curiously noted that he wasn’t looking at anyone, but didn’t press matters. Instead she watched Rainbow Dash ruffling her wings eagerly, looking with a wide smile into the clear blue sky.

“Finally ready then?” the draconequus shoved off from the wall.

“A~lmost…” Rainbow Dash continued staring up into the sky at something that neither of them could see. After a few awkward moments of befuddled silence, Eris uncrossed her arms and peered around at the patch of sky that Dash did.

“You, uh… trying to go blind or something?” Eris squinted in the sunlight, and William stepped over a puddle behind her to take his place beside them.

“Wait for it.”

When nothing happened, Eris started to ask again but was halted when William held up a single finger.

“Wait for it…” Rainbow Dash grinned, nodding toward the pink mailbox.

“Wait for what?” she threw up her hands in confusion, looking back and forth between them for answers.

“For the mail,” William explained.

Eris balked at them as if they were mad, taking a long time to even blink.

“Are you freaking kid-”

A screaming bolt of grey feathers came hurtling through the sky without a moment’s warning. Blasting over rooftops and knocking a single shingle free, the pegasus burst into the sky with a flare of her wings. A loud clatter came shortly afterwards with a surprised shriek of somepony in the street trying to avoid being hit by it, along with a number of choice words. Turning with a sharp left, the mare bolted toward the ground and skidded twice, finally coming to a screechy halt with a trail of dust whirling behind her.

“Heyya Derpy,” Dash chuckled as the mailmare leaned against the picket fence to catch her breath, showing more teeth than a leering crocodile.

“Hi Dash!” the blonde mare said breathily, digging in her saddlebag after a moment. Brilliant golden wide eyes searched in opposite directions, but she faced Dash easily. “Pretty good landing, huh?”

“Pretty good,” she laughed, shifting the box to her opposite hoof and opening the gate. “You’re a little early today, eh?”

“Yeah, I know!” Derpy eagerly yanked an entire bundle out of her pack without dropping her gaze, not noticing the shocked draconequus in the slightest. “I almost pulled off a cartwheel on Mulberry, but I almost lost everything ‘cause the buckle was undone,” she carefully refastened her saddlebag while holding the whole bundle in her mouth by a single string.

“Dude, what’s wrong with your eyes?”

Derpy froze in place.

It was only then that she seemed to have noticed Eris. The draconequus unabashedly gawked at her only for a few seconds, until she realized the horribly awkward silence that seemed to have fallen over them.

Somewhere a bird chirped.

She wordlessly removed the package from her mouth with her now free hoof and looked away.

“So,” Rainbow Dash coughed loudly into her hoof, William attempting to bury his face in his scorched hands beside her. “Uh… thank you, Derpy – uh, you want some of these?”

Dash carefully pried open the box, careful not to drop it. The pegasus’s eyes lit up immediately upon seeing the cache of frosted cupcakes, offense long forgotten.

“Ooh!” Derpy sniffed the air zealously. “Is that chocolate I smell? And some fudge, and… wine…?”

“Vanilla icing,” William added quietly.

“I helped,” Eris muttered.

“Have the whole box!” Rainbow Dash pushed it to her eagerly, cheeks flushed as she held her breath.

Derpy’s smile almost broke her face.

“Seriously?” she said ecstatically. “The whole thing?”

“Yeah, sure!” Dash nodded swiftly, desperate to get her to forget about the current situation as quickly as possible. “Say, I’ve really gotta run, just gotta slip by real quick-”

“What?” Derpy blinked distractedly, the box of treats snapping shut. “Oh, uh – right, right. Here you go! Eh, was it ‘Billie’?”

And with that, she dropped the entire parcel into William’s hands. However, she failed to realize that he had been studiously inspecting them since he had gotten close enough to read them, and wasn’t nearly as surprised as Rainbow Dash was when she saw them.

“My name is William,” he answered absentmindedly.

“Oh, yeah!” she nodded quickly, beaming. “Hey, Dinky’s finally going to be coming to public school this year, Rainbow Dash! She’s been super excited ever since she started getting better; maybe we can set up a playdate!”

“Ha, yeah, that sounds-sounds… Hang on,” Dash frowned as Derpy started away. “Hang on, I sent some of these…”

“Mm?” the mailmare asked through a mouthful of cupcakes, smeared frosting on the tip of her nose. “Oh, yeff! A fwhoh buff go’ fen too fwoffaw fo’ wehfwhoo!”

Rainbow Dash deadpanned, the spray of flecks wordlessly flicked off.

“Have you tried swallowing?” Eris asked in quiet exasperation, having long since grown bored and leaned wearily against the picket fence.

“Actually,” Dash started with a laugh before clamping her mouth shut and forcibly looking down. She coughed again uneasily and shook her head.

“These are returned,” William stated softly as he read a small card attached to the top, a familiar gilded seal shining in the light. A number of words printed atop it caught her eye, including to be returned, royal order and self-termination. “Oh my god, they’re returned.”

“Nyah, it’s cool Derps,” Rainbow Dash shrugged when Derpy looked worriedly at them, choosing not to voice her true thoughts. She took the package from the stunned boy, jamming the whole thing into the mailbox. William clutched in dumbfounded silence at the air, like he was still holding them. “Really, it was probably nopony’s fault; see you later.”

William felt himself pulled along by the pegasus as he strained weakly for the mailbox, frantically scrabbling at the air.

“Hang on!” he pleaded as they trudged onward, his precious letters drifting steadily away. “M-Mother, wait, those…!”

“Can wait until after we get back,” Dash explained as she released him, shooting Eris a dirty look now that Derpy was out of sight. Eris rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “We’re already late, I’ll bet Fluttershy’s still waiting for us.”

“Who?” Eris asked offhandedly. William threw one last wistful look behind as he gave up, forcing himself to keep up pace with the antsy pegasus.

“Good friend,” Rainbow Dash continued as she led them across the busy street, clearly straining to keep her wings in check and stay on the ground.

“Is she the pink one?”

“That would be Pinkie Pie,” William corrected her quietly, hands folded carefully behind his back as they walked. “Fluttershy has a yellow coat, pink mane and blue eyes. She’s left handed and uses apricot scented shampoo, her favorite color is green and she likes collecting shells but doesn’t like the smell of oysters.”

Both of them stared at William for a long moment, who at first seemed not to notice.

“… What?”

“Nothing,” Rainbow Dash shook her head with a little chuckle. “That’s just, uh… probably more information than she needed.”

Eris snapped her talons, standing up a little straighter.

“Yeah, I know who you’re talking about now!” she said elatedly. “She’s your fuck buddy, right?”

“What?!” Dash turned them both over a corner, laughing too loud for it to be natural. “What, no! Ha ha, no, of course not! That’s ridiculous, ha ha ha ha!”

“Are you sure?” Eris blinked as they were barreled along by the pegasus, who was using her wings as support to keep them moving faster. William seemed to have grown unnaturally quiet, and walked stiffly. “Because I’m pretty sure-”

“Fillyhood friend, very good friend is all!” Rainbow Dash insisted a little more loudly as they approached a tall cream colored building wedged neatly between a couple of thatched houses. Brightly colored stickers adorned the windows, and the plaque next to the door read ‘Ponyville Wellness & Associates’. “That’s crazy talk is all, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions D-Eris,” she finished swiftly, jerkily opening the door and ushering them into the shade.

William unconsciously breathed a sigh of relief upon entering, but it was short lived. He wrinkled his nose viciously, the overpowering scent of antiseptic and sanitizer stinging his nostrils.

The brightly lit entrance room was filled with poorly drawn figures adorning cut sheets of colored paper along every wall. Sunlight streamed heavily into the room, leaving the wall lamps fairly useless. A single desk sat against one wall to the right of the entrance, looking sorely as if it didn’t belong there. A lonely and tarnished bulbous bell sat next to a box of foal’s toys, and a bright eyed mare peered up from her paperwork as they entered. A number of paintings and pictures lined the halls, but Eris paid no attention to them.

“Oh, hey there!” the squinty mare behind the desk greeted them cheerfully. She was quick to hide a book beneath her paperwork, an unused pencil teetering at the edge of one hoof. “Here for the tenner?”

“Uh… yeah,” Rainbow Dash nodded, her thoughts elsewhere. “Sorry if I’m kind of… y’know.”

Eris wordlessly noted her odd embarrassment at lateness, and couldn’t seem to find a clock anywhere.

“Oh, don’t worry about it too much hon,” Turtle Shell said cheerfully. Her gaze lingered for a long time on both William and Eris, whom William was actively avoiding by almost hiding behind Rainbow Dash. “Your friend’s already checked in early; remember which office?”

Rainbow Dash nodded curtly.

“Yep. End of the hall. Can’t miss it. Will, you want to sign for everypony?” she turned to William, who was busy engrossed in each and every painting.

“I will, Mother.”

He was quick to scribble their names down on the pad presented to him by the curious mare staring him down, but still refused to look directly at her.

Sign In

Rainbow Dash

William Zachariah Klaskovsky

Eris Klaskovsky

“Why are we here again?” Eris peered at the paintings as they traversed the hall, William swiftly catching up so as not to be left behind.

“A little bit of family therapy,” Rainbow Dash said determinedly, marching forward at a steady pace. Eris grinned widely at the photograph of a very serious stallion dressed like a clown, clicking her talons the entire way. “I have a promise to keep, and I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible. Be on your best behavior Eris, let me do the talking, and with any luck we’ll be in and out of here in ten minutes flat.”

“I’m always on my best behavior,” the draconequus threw out her arms and accidentally smacked a painting off the wall. It fell to the floor with a crack, which she ignored. Dash cringed, steeling herself and taking a deep breath as they stopped before the door at the end of the hall.

“This is going to take no time at all…” Dash reassured herself more than anything as she tenderly leaned over William and parted his hair. “In and out, done.”

“I knew a guy like that once,” Eris said jokingly. No one laughed. Her chuckle died out and she crossed her arms and turned away again.

Rainbow Dash knocked twice on the door and opened it without pausing.

“Surprise, surprise!” Dash grinned at the startled pegasus. Fluttershy beamed back at her, nodding politely to William and Eris.

“There you are!” Fluttershy said with blatant relief. “I almost thought you weren’t going to… um, never mind. Do we have enough room for everypony?”

Eris stretched and started to make herself comfortable in one of the mismatched chairs pointed in a semicircle toward the large mahogany desk against the wall, flanked by a pair of shiny new filing cabinets. William’s eyes flicked about the room, absorbing detail after detail as rapidly as possible.

Countryside images filled several frames along the walls, the wallpaper of which was colored an unpleasantly bright shade of puce. A very tidy and alphabetically organized bookshelf with painted stone sun shaped bookends stood garishly behind the desk. The first two chairs seemed to be sinking into the pink shag carpeting, their high backed plush contrasting with the wooden bucket seat chairs on either side of them.

Although the room was easily lit by natural light through the windows, no wall lamps adorned this room at all. Instead a single low chandelier dangled loosely from the ceiling. An empty ashtray sat forlornly on the edge of the uncluttered desk.

Behind the worn but well-polished mahogany desk sat a milky white mare, whom William seemed to be sluggish to acknowledge but was in reality wordlessly evaluating out of the corner of his eye the entire while. Two toned pink mane fell flawlessly into place, and she might almost have seemed benign were it not for the skull and bones cutie mark nearly hidden on her flank. Her smile was warm and cheery, her attention focused only on them, but William was more than suspicious nonetheless.

Behind those thick horn rimmed glasses burned a fire; an oddly familiar and intense spirit, relentless and powerful, one that he immediately regarded with a measure of fear and respect that bordered strangely on contempt.

“Good morning, everypony!” the unicorn greeted them all warmly, startlingly bright emerald eyes locking on each one of them in turn. She watched none of them for long, but somehow seemed to keep them all in her sight all at once. Her voice was soft and melodious, matching her smile. “Good morning, good morning – oh, don’t be shy now, come on in!”

“You can sit next to me,” Dash’s hoof settled firmly on William’s shoulder, and he was seated quietly between her and Fluttershy with Eris on the far end. The mare magically shut the door behind them, chatting animatedly the entire while as she resumed her position.

“I’ve heard a lot about you two already, it’s a pleasure to meet you young folk!” she said cheerily, readjusting her glasses eagerly. “I know it might seem a little silly, but why doesn’t everypony introduce themselves formerly?”

“Oh my god,” Eris’s jaw slumped as it finally dawned on her. “You brought me to a fucking shrink?”

“Language!” Rainbow Dash hissed dangerously.

“I thought this was, like, a health clinic or something!” she crossed her arms defensively, drawing up her tail and tightening it across her lap.

“Er… I-I’m Fluttershy,” Fluttershy’s weak voice was barely heard above Eris’s foul resentments. Dash shifted awkwardly in her seat.

“Uh, Dashi-Rainbow Dash. That’s two down…” Dash cleared her throat uneasily, one hoof tapping against the carpet.

“My name is William,” he introduced himself without once dropping his gaze from the smiling unicorn. “William Zachariah Klaskovsky.”

“And what about you?” she turned her head slightly toward Eris, kindly awaiting an answer.

“Luke Skywalker,” Eris scowled angrily. “Shove a droid in your exhaust port.”

“That would be Eris,” Rainbow Dash clarified. “Don’t mind her, nopony got much sleep last night.”

“Oh no, did something happen?” Fluttershy frowned worriedly.

“Nah, nothing,” she said quickly. “Some water damage, everything’s fine. Thanks though, Flutters.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” the unicorn smiled even wider, turning in a slow semicircle to them all. “I’m Doctor White, but you can call me-”

“Yolk.”

Doctor White’s smile froze in place as she turned her gaze to William.

“That’s right,” Yolk agreed. “How ironic it is that my reputation precedes me. William.”

For however long it was, it most certainly wasn’t ten minutes.

William sat in utter muteness for nearly the entirety of their little gathering, only listening to the words passed between psychiatrist and pegasus.

“And really,” Fluttershy continued, abashedly brushing a lock of mane from her face as her stare lingered on Dash for just a little too long. Somehow her chair had moved even closer to Dash than William’s was. “That’s just not a good way to be. It took me a long time to realize that, like a lot of things.”

“Now, Fluttershy, what did we talk about?” Doctor White interjected peacefully. “Self-deprecation is unfit for any mare. You’re a fine upstanding citizen, you’ve got your life together, and you’re very nice. If anything, you should be proud of yourself.”

Fluttershy nodded quietly, self-consciously looking at the floor as she tried to hide her watery eyes.

“Um, thank you very much, Yolk.”

“I think you’ve come a very long way,” Yolk smiled again. “And I hope that someday Miss Dash might decide to take a leaf or two out of your book.”

“I said that I don’t have any problems,” Rainbow Dash shot back aggressively.

“Let’s not let our tempers get the best of ourselves,” the unicorn’s smile never dropped, and she absentmindedly rifled through a file on her desk. “Nopony is forcing you into anything Rainbow. Why don’t we move back to…?”

Yolk eyed Eris almost hopefully, who still sat stiff backed in her chair with her arms and legs crossed.

“You couldn’t pay me enough, so don’t even bother.”

Rainbow Dash cringed inwardly, trying not to notice Fluttershy’s expression.

“… I’m really sorry Fluttershy,” she started. “I-I’m not sure that…”

Her words trailed off as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“If everyone doesn’t mind,” Yolk White looked about the room with a little cough, a dim green spark zipping across the tip of her horn. It caught William’s eye, and he watched the curtains over the window widen a little more as a number of thin grey clouds accumulated across the sky. “I think we’ve really covered a lot of distance today Fluttershy, but in my professional opinion I think a little one on one time would be great!”

“I’m out,” Eris scowled. “You can’t make me do jack.”

“Of course!” Yolk clapped her hooves together as if she weren’t slighted at all. “I’m a bit disappointed, to be sure; from what I’ve heard about you so far I think you’re really interesting.”

If Eris took it as a compliment she didn’t acknowledge it. Or do much aside from grumpily glower at Doctor White while finally slumping in her seat, at that.

“… I’m up for it,” Rainbow Dash volunteered unexpectedly, slowly raising her hoof and shooting another look at Eris. “Somepony with a spine has to.”

“Oh, come now!” Doctor White gave a little giggle, covering her mouth with her hoof. “The way some ponies talk it makes old folks like me sound scary.”

“Doctors, you mean,” Eris’s frown deepened.

Fluttershy gladly stretched her wings, motioning for Eris and William.

“We’ll be glad to wait in the lobby for you, Rainbow Dash,” she touched her friend on the back, smiling warmly. William was loathe to leave her side, gently but firmly pulled away from her once again. “I really don’t mind foalsitting for a little while for you.”

“I’m sure we’ll only be a couple of minutes!” Yolk’s eternal smile grew a little wider. He felt the sudden urge to grab onto Rainbow Dash, and fought violently against the reaction as he was guided out by Fluttershy. The door closed loudly behind them, and William stood rooted in place.

“… Sometimes a mare can talk a little easier without anypony else listening,” Fluttershy explained, patting William on the head and looking up at the surly draconequus. The entrance room was found deserted when they left the hall, which William curiously observed aloud.

“Maybe she quit!” Eris shrugged with a bit too much enthusiasm as she flopped into one of the wooden chairs lining the wall.

“No, just early lunch,” Fluttershy corrected her confidently. She took a seat beside her, and William followed Fluttershy to do the same.

They sat in blissful silence for a while. Or at least, William and Fluttershy did. Eris continuously snapped her talons together in boredom, desperately wishing for a magazine at the very least to distract herself.

“… A’ight,” she asked eventually, breaking the silence. “Fluttershy, right?”

“Yes?” the pegasus blinked sleepily. It was clear that her thoughts had been elsewhere, as were William’s, but he listened carefully regardless.

“So, I got a question…” she kicked back and relaxed with her mismatched arms behind her head in an attempt to make herself more comfortable. Her eyes scanned the room for a moment before speaking again. “And now seems like a pretty good time.”

Fluttershy blinked in honest attention.

“Did’ja fuck ‘er?”

“W-what?” Fluttershy’s face immediately flushed, her wings clamping tightly to her sides as her ears flattened in terror. “What k-kind of-of ques-question is t-that? Why…?”

“Blue butt,” Eris asked again in a flat tone. “You nailed her?”

“She said that she wouldn’t tell anypony!” she buried her face in her hooves, shrinking instantly into her chair and trying to hide from both of their stares. William was now thoroughly paying Fluttershy more attention, and there was an odd gleam in his eyes.

“She didn’t,” Eris shrugged with a smirk. “I was just guessing.”

“Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia. Oh my. Oh Celestia,” Fluttershy murmured miserably into her hooves, her shoulders beginning to shake a little. She didn’t even notice William’s small hand resting on her shoulder.

“So then what’s with… uh, Pinkie?” she thought for a moment. She tapped a talon on her chin, clearly delighting in how uncomfortable the mare was. “Hey, Willie – she’s one of your mom’s fuck buddies too, right?”

“That’s enough, Eris!” William said dangerously. He realized too late that his pincer like grip on Fluttershy’s shoulder was making her flinch, and he pulled away.

“Alright, jeez…” the draconequus shrugged again, throwing a dull look out the window. “Touchy.”

William’s nostrils flared, and his hands sorely clenched and unclenched at empty air as Fluttershy tried to force herself to stop blushing so furiously.

“Mother’s decision to engage in coitus with multiple partners is her own volition. It’s really none of your business who Mother chooses to partake in such activities with. Eris.”

“You’re really defensive when it comes to her, anybody ever tell you that?” Eris smugly asked across from Fluttershy.

“She needs me to be!” William shot back heatedly, Fluttershy steadily growing more uncomfortable between them. “Mother is fragile, she needs me to help her!”

“That’s a freakin’ load!” her voice grew a little louder to match his, her eyes narrowing sharply. “Parents are supposed to take care of their genital-accidents, not the other way around!”

“Mother is special!” William spat furiously, standing in his seat even though it hardly made a difference. “She’s an exception, Mother is different!”

“The word you’re looking for is –”

“Don’t you call her crazy!” he demanded, stamping a foot. “Don’t you dare!”

“Don’t tell me what to do, midget!” Eris stood as well, growing even louder.

“I am not a midget!”

“You’re short, you’re a midget by default!”

“Will you just listen to me?!”

“Maybe if you quit yelling at me!”

“I am not yelling!”

“You’ve got big lungs for someone your size!”

“I command respect and dignity!”

“You command attention!”

“I do not!”

“Do too!”

“DO NOT!”

“DO TOO!”

“Um,” Fluttershy shakily raised a single hoof between the arguing pair. “Can I-”

“NO!” they both shouted simultaneously.

“Okay, sorry,” she miserably shrank almost silently back down inside herself.

“Did I miss something?”

They all three froze at the sound of the confused receptionist’s voice, small brown paper bag in one hoof as she reentered the building.

“… Nothing,” William said huffily as he threw himself into a seat further away from Eris and Fluttershy. “Just lies and slander about a perfectly healthy, loving, normal mare.”

“Uh…” Turtle blinked and looked between them for a single moment before shrugging. “O-kay…?”

“Hey,” Rainbow Dash returned panting, and oddly sweaty. However, she wore a large relaxed smile, and she nodded quickly to the baffled receptionist. “She was right, that was a nice quickie.”

Turtle Shell dropped her lunch.

“Eris, you change your mind?” she asked chipperly, to which the draconequus only snorted and resumed glaring sourly out the window.

“Right,” Dash nodded again. “Then we are finally outta-”

“Actually,” Dash nearly leapt out of her skin at Yolk’s quiet voice behind her. “Would you mind if I had a little chat with your son first?”

“Oh. Oh, uh…” Rainbow Dash shifted away. “I mean, I-I guess…”

“Oh, wonderful!” Yolk White beamed friendlily at him, utterly oblivious to the fact that Fluttershy was doing her best chameleon impression and had somehow gotten herself tightly lodged beneath one of the chairs. “Don’t worry about a thing, it won’t even hurt much,” she winked.

William was thoroughly against the idea of returning to Yolk White’s office. In fact, he was against ever returning to the same street, let alone the building.

“You know, I know quite a lot about you,” Yolk said comfortably from behind her desk, toying absentmindedly with a small model ship in her magical grasp. “But I think that things would go more smoothly if you told me just a tiny bit about yourself, William.”

“You don’t seem surprised,” he answered quietly, sitting stiffly in the high backed plush chair across from her.

“Oh, not really, dear. Not every poor, unfortunate soul that comes to me is a big talker, you know.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Yolk blinked innocently, but William saw through her ruse immediately.

“Oh, yes. You meant you, didn’t you?” she smiled, dropping the façade as if she planned on it all along. “What with your particular species and all.”

“You aren’t very specific.”

“Would you prefer me to be?” White asked.

“I don’t like vagueness or generalizations.”

“A very to the point type you are,” Yolk smiled again. “I like that.”

She flipped through a couple of folders without looking away, her ears upturned to him for any sign of forthcoming information.

“This isn’t your file,” Yolk answered his unasked question serenely. “Oh ho, no. I’ve already memorized yours.”

Although she said it with a very friendly tone, it still sent a small chill up the base of William’s spine.

“William Zachariah Klaskovsky,” she recited from memory, closing the folder and hiding a picture inside. “Born on the sixth of June, currently thirteen years of age. Adopted by one ‘Rainbow Dash’ and ‘Discord’, mother’s name unknown. Funny,” Yolk laughed at nothing. “Born in a Harvest Moon year, or do humans have wild and crazy different calenders?”

“… Two thousand and six,” William answered quietly.

“My, my. That’s a lot of calenders.”

William did not laugh at her joke.

“Do you like living here?”

The question seemed to genuinely catch him off guard, but William was quick to return to his expressionless gaze.

“I am content.”

“You hesitated,” Yolk examined her hoof tip for a few seconds. “Is there something that you want to share?”

“No. I do not want to share anything.”

“Your mother tells me that you fell down a flight of stairs,” she continued, writing something else down in one of her files with a magical grip on her pen. “Including the fact that you appear to have some injuries on your… hands. Coupled with your reluctance to talk about anything, I just might get the impression that Miss Dash is a little… heavy hoofed in her attempts at parenting.”

“Are you insinuating that my mother is abusing me?” William asked dangerously.

“You haven’t denied it.”

“That’s a preposterous and frankly insulting notion,” he responded promptly. “Mother would never do any such thing. My injuries are results of my own… misfortune.”

“I see. So you have a lot of accidents?” Yolk asked politely, ceasing her writing. William suddenly felt very apprehensive about saying anything else, but was equally determined to prove Rainbow Dash’s innocence.

“On occasion,” William clasped his hands firmly together to keep them still. “Things like that happen.”

“Just bad luck maybe,” she smiled, crossing something out on her paper.

“I don’t believe in things like coincidences or bad luck,” he frowned, eyes narrowing to a slant as he turned his attention instead to the forlorn little ashtray on the corner of her desk.

“Hm. Not everypony does, naturally.”

“This room smells like… disinfectant.”

“That’s… a bit of an odd statement,” Yolk dropped her smile at last, looking at him with interest.

“And understatement, actually. This whole place reeks of it.”

“I like things nice and clean,” her smile returned. He hated that plastic thing dangling on her face, like her lips were a hiding red spider just ready to leap out at him.

“That’s a half truth,” William stared her down. “You have a nicotine addiction and you’re embarrassed any of your clients might find out about it.”

Yolk’s lips pursed ever so slightly.

“I’ve read your ‘self-help’ books,” he continued quietly. “At first I thought that you might just be misguided, but meeting you in person really changed that, Yolk.”

“… Really.”

“Yes, really. You’ve written quite an impressive number of self-help books. They all say exactly the same thing, and none of them do anypony any good because it’s all generalized garbage. I’m surprised you managed to get a doctorate, which I’m convinced doesn’t actually exist. That’s why you have so many photographs all over the walls, because you were hoping that nobody would notice.”

Yolk White had long since grown very, very quiet. Her smile had not vanished, and her brilliant emerald eyes burned a fiery hole in him the entire while.

“You’re a despicable shrew. You tell people exactly what they want to hear and scam them out of their money with no apparent remorse and then try to hide it in shame. This whole place reeks of magical disinfectant, like you can clean up your act just like that – but that’s all it really is in the end. Just an act. You really are pathetic, Miss White.”

“… Observant little boy,” Yolk said unflinchingly. “That was in your file too. You’ve got a pretty big file, too. Would you like to know why?”

William didn’t answer.

“You’re a peculiar case, William. The only one of your kind in all of Equestria.”

“Everyone is unique, ironically enough,” he stated flatly.

“It took a lot of bright minds working together on your personality file alone,” she continued peacefully, standing at last and stretching her forelegs, looking out the mirror at the cloudy sky. “A whole lot of ponies quietly working on the behavior and psychology of one little boy.”

“Is that legal?” his eyes narrowed again as she slowly drew the curtains closed, tranquilly reclaiming her seat as if nothing had happened.

“Decreed by royal order,” Yolk smiled. “Only the arrogant assume that they alone are observant.”

William started to proudly retort before her words sank in. Those burning emerald eyes belied her intention, and the creeping horror dawned on him at last as he understood the implications.

“… Someone’s been spying on us.”

“Could be anypony,” she calmly inspected her hoof again. “You’d never discover who it was, though; that’s only a result of arrogance.”

“Whom.”

“… What?” Yolk blinked.

He only sat there with his hands folded neatly, never moving an inch.

“Whom,” William corrected her. “I would never discover whom it was.”

“… Pardon me.”

“I forgive you,” he smiled. “That’s only a result of ignorance. Might I ask why you would inform me of something like this in the first place?”

“Two of the first reactions of any subject in similar studies indicate that they will alter their behavior and seek out the source of their observer,” Doctor White informed him with a quiet smile. “I find that it makes things more interesting.”

“Well,” Yolk said at last. “This has been an enlightening experience. Would you like to rejoin your adoptive mother?”

It was a low blow, and William knew it, but was seemingly unfazed.

“I would, thank you kindly,” he rose and responded without a single hint of emotion.

“I look forward to seeing everypony in a couple of weeks!” she beamed at him, remaining seated and magically opening the door for him. “I know we had a bit of a rocky start, but I think we’ll be best friends before long.”

“I agree,” William gave a mocking one-finger half salute from the side of his head as he walked away. “Can’t bake a cake without breaking a few eggs.”

Klaskovsky Addition # 129

Subject failed to discover observation via initiative. Subject has become aware of the observation procedures. All activities are to be continued as normal, with the exception of Delta and REDACTED. Unsurprisingly, REDACTED remains uncooperative just as Discord claimed. Strongly advising immediate Vertigo Protocol and awaiting further orders.

THREAT LEVEL – Intermediate.

SUGGESTION – Report any and all anomalous action without delay. Bypass Leonidas if REDACTED indicates any form of aggression at all. And for Titan’s sake, don’t let this one get near Sun or Moon this time. We don’t need another Orange Valley incident.