J sighed quietly as he laid back against the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Cadence asked as she snuggled under his arm.

“Not really much… just really tired.” He said leaning over and kissing her cheek.

“Well…” She said, “Um…”

He lightly nuzzled her neck.

“Joe Joe… why don’t you just sleep right here?” She asked pulling him closer. She lightly patted her lap.

“That’d be nice…” He said laying his head down on her shoulder. His eyes closed and he fell asleep cuddled against her.

“Wow… he was that tired?” Star asked looking back at J.

“I don’t think he slept much last night.” Cadence said as her wing lightly wrapped over J.

J mumbled quietly in his sleep.

“Aww… he’s so cute right now…” Cadence cooed as she kissed J’s forehead.

Star looked down to see Pabu staring up at him. “Pabu! Where ya been?” Star asked as he picked him up and gave him a quick kiss on the head. Pabu licked his nose before Star set him down next to him. Pabu climbed up on top of J and curled up into a ball on his chest before going to sleep.

“Aww!” Star and Cadence both went simultaneously.

“Mmng… The fuzz… are coming down hard… get the bags loaded…” J murmured.

“Isn’t… the fuzz another name for cops?” Cadence asked glancing at Star and Fluttershy.

“Uh huh.” Star said.

“I think so…” Fluttershy shrugged.

“Drop… the fucking gun…” J mumbled, “Good… on your knees…”

“Shouldn’t we be a little worried right now?” Cadence asked.

“Now… cuff yourself…” J mumbled.

“Either he is a cop… Or he is just being really kinky.” Star said.

“Shit… they’ve got choppers…” J mumbled, “Chains… set the sentry up… cover the door…”

“Well what now?” Star asked.

“Wolf… get the explosives ready… we’re blowing through the cars…” J said, “Hoxton… grab a bag…”

“What about the bulldozer?” Star asked.

“Fuck… aim for the head… paint the wall…” J mumbled, “Wolf… blow them sky high…”

“But there’s snipers outside…” Cadence said smiling a little.

“Fuck… blow a… hole in the office wall… Bain… reposition the escape car…” J mumbled.

“Hoxton’s been arrested!” Cadence said.

“What… damn it…” J mumbled.

“Cloakers!” Star shouted.

“FUCK! SPOOKS!” J shouted.

“Wait… taser! Behind you!” Cadence said.

J shook a little bit, “Fu… uuu…. uuu…” He stammered as though being electrocuted.

“I should make some popcorn.” Star said.

“God… damn it… Chains… Wolf… we’re leaving… the car’s waiting…” J mumbled after he stopped shaking.

Pabu walked up to J’s face and licked it softly, afraid he was in pain.

“Shit… tail…” J mumbled, “Get… ready for… impact…”

The train pulled into the Ponyville station.

“Fuck… get the gold… to a safe place…” J mumbled, “The… driver’s dead… we need… a new… escape plan…”

“Gold?” Cadence questioned.

Star shrugged.

“Damn it… they’ve… got heavy swats…” J mumbled.

“Look a shield!” Cadence said.

“Maybe we should wake him up. We’re here.” Star said.

“You really want to end this?” Cadence asked smiling a little, “Okay.” She shrugged reaching down and touching J’s shoulder lightly.

She was knocked back as J fell to the side, “Get… down… tank…” He mumbled.

“You okay?” Fluttershy said as she grabbed Cadence.

“Yeah…” Cadence said, “Star you wake him up…”

“Okay I have an idea.” Star said as he approached J, “Hey J… It’s time for ice cream.”

J mumbled quietly.

“Okay then. None for you. Let’s go guys.” Star shrugged.

“God… damn it…” J mumbled as his foot shot out and hit Star in the foot.

“AHH DAMN IT!” Star yelled as he fell back onto the floor, gripping his foot. “Everything below the waist still hurts!”

“Even…” Fluttershy said.

“Almost everything…” Star said.

J opened his eyes up, “What’s with the screaming?” He questioned as he yawned.

“Can we leave now?” Star asked.

“Are we home now?” J asked sitting up. “Oh… sure.”

“Yes.” Fluttershy said helping Star to his feet.

--------------------------

J stopped at the door, “Really next time wake me up before I start talking.” He said angrily, “I hate carrying everything…”

“Well you won’t have to as soon as Star starts feeling better.” Fluttershy said.

J looked back, “Nope. I still will.” He said, “Now… if I had an extra hand, tentacles, or magic I’d open the door!”

“If only.” Star said.

“You know… I just might ask Twilight to give me tentacles.” J said. “I mean what could go wrong?”

As soon as he said that the door shot open, “There you go sir.” Lemmy said.

“Thank you.” J said he walked into the house, “You four coming?”

“Yeah.” Fluttershy said leading Star inside.

“I’ll be back down…” J said carrying everything up stairs and disappearing around the corner.

“I feel that our vacation was great.” Cadence said as she plopped down on the couch.

“Yep. I enjoyed the massage. Even though the masseuses probably didn’t…” Star laughed.

“Yep… and not to mention all the damage we caused…” Cadence said with a smile. “Oh and Star…”

“Mmhm?” Star asked.

“I hope you know that I didn’t enjoy… well you know what the rest is.” Cadence said.

“Yeah… I’m sorry I threatened to breed you and bring about the endless black floods by summoning Bugg-Shash into the world.” Star said.

“Okay I forgive you.” Cadence said, “And… you did kill J twice then… why? And I should be asking him why he seemed to enjoy the first death...”

“Well the real question is… Why was that bottle in the bag in the first place?” Star asked.

Cadence shrugged. “A great question is why didn’t you check with J before drinking random stuff in his bag?” She said.

“It was in a water bottle! I thought it was water. Besides… It’s supposed to taste different to everyone right? Well it tastes like nothing… Like water.” Star said defensively.

Cadence shrugged, “Like you said we should ask him why he brought it along.” She said. “Lemmy… right afterwards you were in a little trance what was that about?”

“Huh?” Lemmy asked, “Oh uh… Nothing. Was just… Nothing.”

Cadence cocked an eyebrow and looked at Lemmy, “Is there something we need to worry about?” She asked.

“Nope…” He said quickly.

She glanced at Star and then to Fluttershy.

“Just because Lemmy was brought here to bring about the end of the world, doesn’t mean we should start pestering him with pointless questions.” Star said.

“No. I’m going to destroy the world first.” J said, “I’ve already started stockpiling uranium for it.” He walked down the steps, “And no… he was brought here by a spell you cast. So if you planned on ending the world… well only one of us can.”

“A spell in a mysterious book given to Twilight by the Queen of the changelings.” Star said.

“No… it was a transformative spell book… meant for sexual uses.” J said chuckling a little, “Mysterious… oh… how many spells did you read?”

“Just the one, why?” Star asked.

“No reason.” J said.

“Alright…” Star said nervously, “Anyways… You feeling alright?”

“Yep.” J said. “Anything you need while I’m here?”

“Nope I’m fine.” Star said.

The front door opened and Soarin walked in, “Oh… Hey.” He said.

J looked over, “And what have you been doing since we were gone?” He asked.

“Didn’t you tie him up before we left?” Cadence asked Star.

“Yep.” Rainbow Dash said walking in right behind him.

“Oh I see.” J said looking between the two of them.

Two hands went between Soarin and Rainbow Dash, throwing them violently out of the way as Pinkamena walked in. “You…” She said pointing to Star.

“Going into the kitchen.” J said walking out of the room.

“You’re on your own with this one.” Cadence said teleporting away.

“Um…” Star said backing away.

“How could you leave without telling me?” Pinkamena asked walking closer.

“Well you see um… I thought I… Did.” Star said nervously.

“No. You did not.” She said angrily pushing Star to the floor.

“You said you had parties to plan!” J called from out of the kitchen.

“Does someone need to be neutered?” Pinkamena shouted into the kitchen.

“Da fuck did you just ask?” J asked looking back and glaring menacingly at Pinkamena.

“I missed you…” Pinkamena said ignoring J as she put her focus back to Star.

“I missed you too.” Star said as she went down to her knees and hugged him.

J leaned back in, “You know what… I’m going for a walk.” He said.

“Don’t forget the leash.” Star shouted.

“Ha ha very funny.” J said. He appeared over top of Star and kicked him lightly in the ribs.

“Still… Sore…” Star said lying back on the floor.

Pinkamena glared up at him and punched him in the balls.

J stumbled back, “Nnng…” He groaned. “Again… going for a walk…”

“Oh good you heard me. I was hoping I’d have to repeat myself.” Pinkamena said with a smile.

J’s lip curled, “I’m not going to be so nice to you anymore if you act like that.” He growled.

“Maybe I can emphasise the message she was trying to get at.” Fluttershy said, standing up.

J glared at Fluttershy, “Fine…” He said walking to the door. He slammed the door shut behind himself.

“And that’s why I love you two…” Star laughed.

“Anytime.” They both said with a giggle.

-------------------------------

“Fuck them…” J said under his breath as he walked away from the house. “I could have said no to them coming… but I was nice… and I get this…” He stopped for a few seconds, “Yeah… I did kick him in the ribs. But dog jokes aren’t funny anymore.”

He walked towards the market slowly scanning the sky for anything coming at him.

“Hi.” Derpy said wrapping her arms around J from behind.

J smiled, “Hello to you too Derpy.” He said. “I missed you…” He reached behind himself and grabbed her.

“I missed you too. Where ya headed?” She asked.

“No where in particular. I just wanted to get away from my house.” He said. “If you want to go somewhere then I’m open for it!”

“Hey… Guess what’s coming to town.” Derpy asked.

J let go of her and turned around to face her, “There…” He said kissing her, “Much better.” He wrapped his arms around her, “I’m… going to guess… a show?”

“No silly. Comic Con!” Derpy said bouncing with excitement.

J smiled, “It’s really coming here?!?!” He said excitedly, “When?”

“This weekend.” She said.

“Let’s go together then…” He said. “I’m sure the two of us could come up with something great to go as…”

“I was thinking Star and the others could come to.” Derpy shrugged.

J’s eye twitched a little, “Maybe.” He said.

“It’ll be so cool! We’ll all dress up together! Who were you going to be?” Derpy asked.

“Definitely Snake.” J said. “I’ll need to pack a few cardboard boxes to bring along…” He nuzzled Derpy, “Who are you going as?”

“Well if you’re Snake, I’ll be Meryl.” Derpy said.

J smiled, “It’s a plan then!” He said. “Hm… before we go start planning is there anything you want to do?”

“Nope. Being with you is all I want.” Derpy said resting her head on his chest.

He smiled even more, “Let’s go back to my house then.” He said. “We can plan there… just the two of us… I’m sure… my room will make a great place to do just that…”

------------------------

“Hey you two okay in here?” Star asked peeking into J’s room.

“Oh come on! You aren’t playing fair!” J said from under the blankets.

Derpy giggled a little and J started laughing uncontrollably.

“No! Not there!” J said through laughter.

Star smiled, sneaking up to the bed.

“I surrender! I surrender!” J said as he continued to laugh.

“No prisoners!” Derpy giggled.

Star knelt down and lifted up the blanked. “Hello.” He said.

“Oh hey Star.” J said as Derpy let up on tickling J.

“Hi Star!” Derpy said.

J pulled Derpy against his body and nuzzled her, “Did ya need anything?” He asked.

“I just wanted to say sorry about the joke earlier… I know it probably sounded worse than it was but… If you’re busy I can come back later.” Star said.

J looked at Derpy and the two of them scooted further up the bed and popped out from under the top of the blanket. J patted the bed on his other side, “Nah it’s fine.” He said. “Just shut the door.”

Star nodded and closed the door, “So I see you two are getting reaquainted.” Star laughed.

“Yeah…” J said as he cuddled against Derpy, “I rarely get to see you anymore…” He said nuzzling her.

“So how ya doin Derpy?” Star asked.

“Pretty good. Are you coming to Comic-Con with us?” Derpy asked.

“I don’t know is the sun going to rise tomorrow?” Star said.

“Y-” Derpy said.

“Yes.” Star completed her sentence.

J shrugged, “Well… what are you going as then?” He asked.

“Doc Oc.” Star and Lemmy said together.

J’s eyes lit up and he whispered something to Derpy.

“S-” He was cut off when Derpy kissed him. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“What?” Star said with a smile.

“My Twilight Princess…” J cooed softly as he kissed Derpy’s neck.

“Oh… you meant that…” Derpy said. “No… I’ll go as Zelda.”

“Then…” J said smiling, “I’ll be back then… I have to… go pass an idea to someone else…” He slowly got out of the bed.

“Kay.” Derpy said lying back onto the bed.

“I’ll keep her company while you do stuff…” Star shrugged.

“Sure…” J said looking back at Derpy for a few seconds before leaving the room.

“Okay so…” Star said jumping onto the bed next to Derpy.

“So…” Derpy said.

“Want to help bake some muffins?” Star asked.

Derpy jumped up and grabbed Star, “DO I!” She yelled.

----------------------

“Spike is Twilight home?” J asked as he walked into Twilight’s house.

“Yep upstairs, do you even need to ask?” Spike said.

“Well… yeah. It’s not like she spends all her time here… right?” J said.

There was a pause, “Just go…” Spike said.

“Fine.” J said walking upstairs. “Twilight?” He said as he entered her room.

“Oh hey J.” Twilight said from her bed as she snapped a bookmark into her journal.

J got onto the bed and laid down beside her, “So whatcha doing?” He asked.

“Well I WAS writing. But now you’re here.” She said.

“Well you didn’t have to stop because I’m here.” He said, “You could have just told me to come back later. And it’s not too late to now.”

“Did you come here to tell me what I should have done Mr. Hindsight? Or do you have something more to say.” Twilight said rolling her eyes.

“No just what you could have done.” J said wrapping an arm around her, “And I wanted to ask you something very… important.” He pulled her closer, “That is… if you want me to stay…” His breath hot against her face.

She placed her hand on his cheek, “Well I’m not going to stop you if you want to.” She said softly.

“I want you to come with Derpy and I to Comic-con this weekend…” He started.

“Sure. Is that all you came to ask?” Twilight said.

“You aren’t remotely curious as to what we’re going as?” J asked. “Oh right… you’ve worked so hard to prove that you aren’t a nerd… so you wouldn’t want to cosplay.”

“Excuse me?” Twilight said teleporting to her feet, now dressed as Lara Croft. “Could you repeat that?”

J laughed and dragged her back down, “I was wrong… that happens too often doesn’t it?” He asked now gently nuzzling her.

“Now… How about I show you how to raid some tombs?” She asked coyly.

“Give me a sec…” He said getting out from under her and rushing into the bathroom. “Close your eyes…”

Twilight smiled and covered them. She was yanked off the bed and into J’s arms by a whip.

“I’ll show you how to properly raid an ark…” He said.

------------------------

Derpy stuffed an entire muffin into her mouth.

“Um… That literally just came out…” Star said.

“M...mhm…” She mumbled.

“Isn’t… it hot?” Star asked.

“Mmhm…” She said again as a tear streamed down her face.

“So… You want to see our basement?” Star asked.

Derpy choked, “What?” She said muffled by the muffin.

“Never mind.” Star said.

J opened up the front door and walked in. “Okay… it’s a go!” He said.

“Why are you dressed like Indiana Jones?” Star asked.

Twilight walked in behind him and hugged him tightly.

“We had to delve deep into Delphi to get the Pearl.” J said.

“Well good to see you’re rubbing off on her.” Star sighed.

“Yes there was a lot of rubbing but none of it was on me.” Twilight said.

“Please stop…” Star said.

“They did a little exploration of the Interior World…” Derpy said smiling at J and Twilight.

Star groaned slamming his head into the table. “Is there anything else you came back to say or are puns the only language you know?” Star asked.

“Mmm just that I found my Twilight Princess…” J said kissing Twilight.

“Oh… So you’re doing a zelda themed cosplay?” Star asked.

J walked towards Derpy and kissed her too, “Yes we are…” He said. “Isn’t that right girls?”

They both nodded.

“So… Star shouldn’t you be preparing?” J asked.

“Mmhm…” Star said as Pabu climbed up him and sat on his shoulder, “Come Pabu… We must go.”

“Derpy are you going to join us in The Last Crusade?” J asked extending a hand.

Derpy shook her head, “Sorry I have to go get the design I want ready!” She said.

J shrugged, “Alright see you tomorrow?” He asked.

Derpy nodded as she left.