The next day:

“Morning everyone.” J said as he walked down the steps.

“Morning uncle J.” Sarah and Serena waved.

J smiled and walked into the living room, he sat down on a chair. “So what’s for breakfast?” He asked.

“MY ASS!” Star shouted.

“Sounds nice. But I like actual food every once and a while.” J joked.

Star stormed out of the kitchen and pushed Serena to the floor. “The fuck did I tell you?” He said.

“Fuck you I already did it.” Serena said angrily.

Star reached down and grabbed her by the hair, dragging her into the kitchen. “Well then we’re going to do it again…” He said sternly.

J coughed, “And… anyone tasting a little something beginning with H floating around here?” He asked.

“Um… Go on?” Twilight said.

“So… no one else is feeling the hypocrisy in this house right now?” J said.

“Well because it’s… Sarah and Serena?” Pinkamena said curiously. “If they didn’t want to be abused they wouldn’t.”

“Uh… I give…” J said.

Serena was thrown out of the kitchen, landing on her face and being dragged back in, a small trail of blood appearing on the floor. Her nails dug into the floor and a loud scratching was heard as the sound of them cracking slightly on the wood floor got louder.

“Mmm yes…” J said with a small sigh.

They all head a small crash upstairs, it sounded like a window had been broken.

“What… was that?” Dash questioned.

J shrugged. “I don’t know… a rock going through a window?” He said.

“Will someone who’s throat isn’t under my foot go check that out?” Star shouted.

“Sure.” Dash said as she got up and walked upstairs and into the guest bedroom.

“Serena is losing a lot of blood…” Celestia said. Immediately after she said that she was hit in the face with a jug of orange juice.

“We got plenty of OJ.” Star said.

There was another crash upstairs this time it sounded like it came from Star’s room.

“Dash?” J called up.

“It’s fine! Just a rock!” Dash’s voice called back.

“Okay…” J said, “Now… another one was thrown though Star’s window…”

“Who the fuck touched my windows?” Star asked, kicking Serena again.

J sighed.

There was another crash in J’s room now.

“Okay… something isn’t right about that…” J said.

“Maybe we should go check on that?” Applejack suggested.

“Yeah… wait… Dash?” J called again.

There wasn’t a response.

“Okay go check on them.” Fluttershy said, nudging J. She grabbed her head quickly. “Ow… Why has my head been hurting?”

“I think you have a concussion.” J said.

There was a sudden loud thumping up the basement steps.

“Who… Is in the basement?” Twilight asked.

“No one should be…” J said.

They all heard a noise upstairs that sounded like boots hitting the wood floor.

“Oh… shit something definitely isn’t right.” J said.

“Isn’t Ben upstairs?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy froze. Star ran out of the kitchen and the two of them looked upstairs.

“GO!” Someone shouted. The front door was kicked in and a few men came in through the windows in the living room. More rushed in from the rooms upstairs. They aimed their guns at everyone jumping from one person to the next.

“I take it you’re not the people I invited?” Pinkamena asked.

The basement door flew open and a few more men charged up the steps.

More rushed in from the front door, two rushing directly to J.

“What the fu-” J was cut off as a large burlap sack was shoved over his head. His hands were quickly tied.

Celestia and Luna’s horn lit up and immediately fizzled out.

“That’s not good… Right?” Star asked.

“Get him to the carriage!” One of them men ordered as they dragged J out of the chair and out of the house.

Shortly after the men started rushing out through various exits.

Star’s horn lit up. “Oh hey magic’s back.” He said with a smile, one of the men being thrown into the ceiling and slammed to the floor repeatedly. He stopped shortly after and let him drop to the floor. Star walked up to him and noticed he was already dead. Star ran out of the house and saw the carriage was already gone.

“Who… They took J…” Applejack stammered.

“Shouldn’t we go after them?” Fluttershy asked.

“Does anyone know where they might have taken… Star?” Twilight questioned.

Star was kneeling beside the dead guy and had taken off his mask. “Either this is a really cruel prank from Chrysalis… Or they just really don’t like J.” Star said.

“I’ll go check on Ben…” Fluttershy said quickly before running upstairs. There was a loud thump.

“Fluttershy? You okay?” Star called up there.

“I tripped over Rainbow Dash…” Fluttershy called.

“Is she okay?” Rarity shouted.

“I’ve never seen someone use the… Never mind… She’s fine.” Fluttershy said. She came down with Ben in her arms. “And Ben is fine.”

Ben burped before looking down at everyone.

“So… they… just kidnapped J… and… didn’t harm any of us?” Applejack asked.

“I think it’s safe to say they didn’t want to hurt him or us?” Star shrugged.

There was a bright flash as Gael teleported into the living room.

“Did you have something to do with this?” Star asked Gael, seeming a little weirded out.

“The bagging? No. The spells on the area he’s being taken to? Yes.” Gael said.

“Please explain… Or do I really have to ask.” Star asked.

“All I can tell you is he’s safe and sound. Chrysalis just really wants to keep the area she’ll be keeping her eggs a secret. That means even from J.” Gael said.

“A little extreme don’t you think?” Rarity asked.

Gael shrugged, “I don’t know. Chrysalis thought it up. I advised her to just drug him in his sleep and take him there in the night. He would have been back by now had she listened to me.” He said.

----------------------------------------

J woke up with the bag still over his head. He was sitting down in another chair.

The bag was removed from his head and his eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

“Cut him free.” Chrysalis said.

“Chrysalis?” J questioned.

“You’re fine. I only had to take you because I needed to show you this and I want to keep this place a secret.” Chrysalis said.

“Yeah… I got that… but… why did you need to raid my house?” J asked, “I mean… drug me in the night… ASK TO DRUG ME! I wouldn’t say no!”

“I know.” Chrysalis said.

“And… you still… raided… the house…” He said.

“Mmmhm.” Chrysalis nodded, “Now… It’s about to happen so shut up and stay sitting!”

A moment after she said that she laid down on a bed that was positioned in the center of the cave. She then spread her legs apart and laid back.

----------------------------------------------

An hour later:

The final two eggs slid out of Chrysalis and she fell back limp and exhausted.

“Yeah… egg laying… that’s a great way to follow up a kidnapping…” J sighed.

“Just… just be qui-” Chrysalis stopped and her body convulsed a little.

The nearby changelings rushed to her and picked her up, their horns lighting up simultaneously as they teleported out.

J looked up to one of the other changelings.

“There was… a slight complication… the queen will be fine… she just needs a doctor.” The changeling said.

“Slight… complication…” J said.

“It… appears that because of the rapid growth… the queen wasn’t able to sustain them fully. The eggs are alright, the queen’s health has suffered a little from the egg laying though.” The changeling said.

“I can see that.” J said.

“Yes. I know. And incase you were wondering you are free to touch and look at the eggs. They are your’s.” The changeling said.

“Thanks. Like I didn’t know that.” J said as he got up and walked to the egg sacks. He watched the egg sacks glow a little.

He felt a small rumble. “What was that?” He asked.

“Probably jus-” The changeling was cut off as another vibration shook the chamber. A few cracks appearing in the wall over the egg sacks.

“Oh… SHIT GET OVER HE-” J was cut off as a small explosion sent the wall outward. The rubble smashing into the ground. The rest of the wall falling shortly after slamming down on the egg sacks with a sickening crunch. J stared wide eyed as he fell backwards onto the ground.

Another small explosion rocked another part of the wall this one further away.

A mixture of the egg sack fluid and the contents of the eggs pooled from under the rocks.

J’s entire body shook a little as he started to cry.

Changelings rushed to the rubble and started to clear it away.

The guard who was beside him dragged him back.

“N… no… no…” J repeated weakly shaking his head back in forth as tears slid down his face.

“J… Are you okay?” The guard asked.

“N… no… they’re… all dead…” J stammered.

“I’m sorry… But we have to leave now.” The guards said.

“No… I… I won’t leave…” J said shaking his head even more.

“They’re gone J… There’s nothing we can do.” The guard said frantically.

“I… I know… I… I want to stay…” J said.

“J… Not all the eggs were destroyed.” The guard said calmly.

“W… what?” J asked in disbelief.

“There were two eggs that hadn’t been put into the sack.” The guard said.

“W… where?” J asked shakily.

“They’re on the bed. You can see them if you want…” The guard said.

J shakily stood up and walked over to the bed. He looked at the two eggs sitting there, one was a deep ocean blue, while the other had a color similar to rusted iron. He gently reached forward and took one in each hand, he then brought them close to his body and held them there.

“Is… There anything more I can do for you?” The guard asked.

“I… I want to… take them home…” J said quietly.

“Of course… Follow me.” The guard nodded.

-------------------------------------

“Gael? Are you okay?” Star asked.

Gael stared at the ground looking like he was about to cry.

“Gael… What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, scooting closer to him.

“It… was supposed to be safe…” Gael said quietly.

“What was?” Star asked.

“Is… Something wrong with J?” Applejack asked.

“I’ve failed… I’ve failed the entire hive…” Gael said as he put his head in his hands, “I should have seen it coming… It’s all my fault...”

“Gael please… Talk to us.” Star said, sounding extremely concerned as he placed a hand on Gael’s shoulder.

“It’s… on a need to know… basis…” Gael said quietly a few tears sliding down his face.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Star said.

Gael laughed weakly, “All the eggs… are gone…” He said.

“Wh… How?” Star asked.

“Explosion… and… a cave in… the sacks… were crushed…” Gael said weakly. “And… and… oh… god… he… watched it all…”

“Are you… Going to be okay?” Twilight asked.

“It’s… it’s not me you… you have to worry about…” Gael said.

The door slowly opened and J walked in. He looked up at everyone before he walked towards the kitchen.

Star stood up immediately and stared at J. He noticed the two spherical things in his hands. “J…” Star said.

J glanced back for a second before walking into the kitchen.

Star slowly followed behind him. He walked into the kitchen and saw J sitting in a chair, staring at the immobile eggs on the table. Star walked up to him and placed a hand on his arm.

J looked up at Star. “Only… these two survived… out of a little under three thousand eggs…” He said quietly. “Only… two survived…”

Star stayed silent, hugging J closely.

J buried his head in Star’s chest and started to cry again. “Why… why did it happen?” He asked through tears.

“I don’t know J… I don’t know.” Star said. “Why don’t we go into the living room. The rest of us are waiting.”

J shakily pulled away and nodded, “Okay… let’s… do that…” He said as he stood up. He picked up the two eggs and covered them both up fully.

Star and J walked out into the living room, gathering everyone’s attention as they sat down.

J looked down at the two eggs before looking up at everyone. He opened his mouth up a little before closing it and shaking his head.

“He just needs some time… I think anyone would after something like this…” Star said, pulling J close again.

“N… no… f… for now I’m… fine…” J said quietly.

“Is there anything we can do?” Applejack asked.

“We’re all here for you.” Twilight nodded.

“I know… and… thank you…” J said quietly he moved the two eggs closer to his chest.

“What are those?” Rainbow Dash asked curiously.

J looked down at the eggs and kept silent.

“It’s nothing…” Star said.

“Oh… okay…” J said quietly, “I’ll ask…”

“Ask… What?” Star questioned.

“I… need two glasses of water…” J said, “And… a blanket…”

“Sure! Anything you need.” Star said jumping up and rushing into the kitchen.

“I’ll get the blanket.” Dash said, running upstairs.

“Thanks…” J said. He looked up at everyone.

Gael moved closer to J and looked at him.

J looked back at Gael and shortly after nodded.

Gael smiled a little bit before it faded.

Star came out holding the two glasses. “Where do you need them?” He asked.

“I’ll take them…” Gael said.

“No… I feel Star should be the one to help this time… I’m sorry…” J said quietly.

“It’s fine. I’ll… go check on the queen…” Gael said as his horn lit up and he vanished.

“Help with… And what’s wrong with Chrysalis?” Star asked.

“Complications… I don’t know what exactly…” J said, “And… just come and sit back down… I’ll show you what I wanted help with once Dash is back with the blanket.”

Star sat down and shortly after Rainbow Dash came down the stairs. “I don’t know if the color mattered but…” She shrugged, holding out the red blanket.

“No… just so long as it’s not see through.” J said. “Just… lay it over me.”

Dash raised an eyebrow and looked at Star. Star nodded and she draped it over J.

“Thank you.” J said as he repositioned the blanket now fully covering himself from head to toe. He pulled Star into the little tent.

Star smiled slightly. “I’ve always wanted to go camping.” He joked.

“Both of them wanted water.” J whispered.

Star held out the glasses.

J lightly put an egg in each glass.

Shortly after the water levels started to slowly go down.

“Looks like they’re pretty thirsty.” Star said.

J nodded.

After another few seconds both glasses were empty. J pulled out both eggs.

“From all three of us… thank you Star.” J smiled he then pulled the blanket back down and sat back up, both eggs covered by the blanket.

“What are you two hiding…” Twilight asked.

J remained silent.

“Secret.” Star smiled, looking at J.

J returned the smile and nodded, “What Star said.” He said.

Twilight squinted. “Okay…” She said quietly.

“Sorry… but really… some secrets are best kept hidden until the right time.” J said. “And… I really am sorry, but… I won’t tell anyone about it until I feel it’s right for you to know.”

“But th-” Twilight was interrupted as Applejack elbowed her.

“We understand.” Applejack said.

“Thank you…” J said quietly.

“Did you need anything?” Star asked.

“No… I’m fine.” J said.

“Alright. Well… What now?” Star shrugged.

“I don-” J stopped as his stomach growled. “Wait… I never did eat breakfast… So… actually some food would be nice.”

Star nodded. He got up and started walking towards the kitchen when he tripped, grunting as he hit the floor.

“You alright?” J asked as he looked back over his shoulder.

Star got up quickly and looked around.

“Star?” J said.

When Star glanced back, J noticed something different about his face. “Sorry… I’ll get you something to eat.” Star said, walking into the kitchen.

J turned slightly, enough to glance Twilight trying to peek under the blanket.

“Nyet!” J said as he slapped her hand, “No one sees under this blanket. And now you’ve just made the wait even longer for everyone else!”

Twilight groaned and leaned back against the couch.

“Hm… I know…” J said quietly. “Yeah… I get that too.”

Star came out a few moments later with a plate of food, not looking anyone in the eyes as he handed J the plate.

“Star… what’s wrong?” J asked.

“Nothing…” Star said.

“I don’t really believe you on that… if there isn’t anything wrong then why aren’t you looking me in the eyes?” J asked.

Star looked at J and he noticed his eyes didn’t look quite the same. “Nothing J.” Star said, turning around and quickly heading upstairs.

“Yeah… I’ll find out in a little bit…” J said quietly.

“Should we be worried about the voices in your head now?” Twilight asked.

“No.” J said.

“Good…” Twilight said.

J picked up the plate of food and started eating.

Fluttershy took a seat next to J, looking at him silently.

J looked at her, “Hm?” He mumbled.

Fluttershy looked down at the blanket, then back up to J.

J looked at her silently.

“Can I?” She asked.

J paused for a moment, “Yep.” He said lifting the blanket up a little bit.

She looked under it and smiled widely.

J smiled a little and leaned back.

“What is it?” Twilight asked quickly.

“Nothing I didn’t get a good look.” Fluttershy smiled wider.

J grabbed the plate again and put another bite of food in his mouth.

Rainbow Dash was staring at the floor curiously.

J looked down at what Dash was looking at.

Dash got up and approached the area where Star fell. She reached down and picked something up, staring at it.

“What is it?” J asked as he squinted trying to get a good look at it.

“I… Think it’s a contact lens.” Dash said.

J blinked a few times, “Oh… that’s… new…” He said.

“I didn’t know he needed contacts.” Twilight said.

“Neither did I.” J said, “I… guess we both still have a lot to learn about each other.”

Star walked down the stairs, looking happy again. “So what did I miss?” He asked.

“I can ‘see’ nothing different here.” Dash said with a grin.

J coughed a little, “Yeah… but that’d be just mean to say outloud.” J said quietly.

Star raised an eyebrow. “What am I not seeing here?” He asked.

Twilight covered her mouth to hold in a laugh.

“And I thought I made bad puns without trying.” J chuckled.

“S… What’s so funny?” Star questioned.

“Nothing.” Fluttershy said.

“Soon…” J said quietly.

“J you’re making me nervous…” Star said.

“Really? Why?” J asked curiously.

Star sighed. “Never mind. How’s the food?” He asked.

“Great.” J said, “Would you mind getting another two glasses of water?”

“Sure.” Star nodded.

“Thanks.” J said.

Star went into the kitchen, walking back out with two refilled glasses of water.

“Just put them on the table.” J said.

Star set them down and sat next to J.

J slowly removed the blanket and dropped it to the floor. He then lightly put an egg in each glass.

“I thought…” Twilight mumbled.

“These two were lucky…” J said quietly, “And I’m happy for that.”

Both glasses water level came down a tiny bit.

“That’s awesome!” Dash said, hugging J.

“Yeah. It is.” J nodded.

“So I assume you haven’t been talking to the air?” Applejack asked.

“Nope not at all.” J said. “For eggs these two are really talkative. Mainly to each other. Isn’ that right you two?”

There was a short pause.

“Oh NOW you both stop talking.” J sighed.

“I think it’s cute…” Fluttershy said.

“Yes.” Star said, kissing J’s cheek. “Very cute.”

“I’m sure it is four eyes.” J said jokingly.

Star’s face started to turn pink again as his head dropped, staring at the floor.

“Oh… don’t worry Star…” J said, “Nothing going to change because we found out that you wear contacts. I’m just wondering why you kept it hidden.”

“I dunno…” Star shrugged.

“Does that mean you have glasses too?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah…” Star nodded.

“Aww that’s really cute…” J smiled.

“Oh my gosh… Can I see them?” Fluttershy asked.

“I dunno.” Star shrugged.

“Well can I?” J asked.

Star sighed and stood up. He walked upstairs and into his room, coming back down wearing a set of brown horn rimmed glasses.

“They look good on you.” J said.

Star smiled. “Thanks.” He said.

“Well hello Noah.” Twilight giggled.

“What’s that suppo- Oh…” Star said, stopping as he realized the joke.

J closed his eyes for a few moments. “Would someone mind watching the eggs while I go get something from my room?” He asked.

“Why doesn’t S-” Dash tried to say.

“I swear to god if you make one more joke.” Star snapped.

“Save the cheerleader…” Twilight said.

“Save the world?” Fluttershy finished.

“Shut up.” Star said.

“I’ll take that as a no…” J said, “Okay then.”

“I’ll watch them.” Star said. Star snapped to Dash and held up a finger, “Don’t…”

Dash smirked and shrugged sarcastically.

“You two knock it off.” J said as he got up off the couch. “Now… make sure nothing happens to them.” He walked to the staircase.

Star stared down at the eggs. “So… Anything to say to your uncle Star?” He asked quietly.

He was only met with silence.

“Didn’t think so.” Star said.

The basement door opened and Pinkamena walked out. “Sorry I was ju-” She paused, staring at Star.

“You okay?” Star asked.

“Okay… Many questions.” Pinkamena said.

“Shoot.” Star said.

“Glasses.” She said.

“Which ones… The ones in my hands or the ones on my face.” Star said.

There was a pause. “Yes…” Pinkamena said.

“I wear glasses and these are J’s kids.” Star said.

“Ah… I see.” Pinkamena said.

Star glared at Dash, who held up her hands defensively.

“Anyways… J whatcha doin?” Applejack shouted up.

“Just getting one… last… thing…” J said.

“Take your time.” Star said.

“Mmmk.” J said as there was a loud thud upstairs. “There we go!” He walked out of his room with a large book under his arm. A pen in his other hand.

Fluttershy gasped. “You have a diary?” She asked.

J froze and his head slowly turned to her.

Fluttershy smiled innocently.

“No… it’s… an autobiography… written by multiple people…” J said.

“Why do you have it out?” Star asked.

“Updating it.” J said as he walked down the steps.

“Oh?” Twilight said.

“Yep.” J said as he sat down on the couch, the book in his lap.

“Oh I’m excited.” Star smiled.

“About what?” J asked. “All this is, is my thought’s and ideas written down for the past ten years or so. Not really all that much.”

“Joel you don’t… Even know.” Star said excitedly.

“I know right?” Twilight said just as enthusiastic.

“I know!” Star said.

“Okay… oh a recipe.” J said, “Oh Fish Surprise…” He shivered a little, “Nope.”

Star scooted close and looked down at the book. “So…” He said.

“Hm… nope… more prank stuff…” J said as he flipped through a few more pages. “And a spell…”

“Spell…” Twilight said, trying to look at the page.

J flipped it over to the next page, “Oh…. wait just another few pages about… nothing.” He said as he continued flipping until he got to a section that was clearly written by someone else. “Here we are…” He flipped back for a while until he reached a page that looked like a business spreadsheet.

“What’s that?” Star asked.

“Inventory of my stuff.” J said.

“You keep inventory?” Star asked.

“Yep.” J said, “Helps me stay organized.” He quickly wrote something in one of the empty boxes, “And how else do you think I come up with my grocery lists?”

“Okay…” Star mumbled.

“Why is there a white stain on the side of the book?” Dash asked.

J smiled, “No reason.” He said.

Shortly after J noticed a cloaked figure in the window who was smiling, and ran off.

J smiled a little more, “Mmm look at it now… Funny would have been proud of my handiwork.” He said as he wrote something else down.

Star leaned in close to the book and sniffed it. He immediately straightened up and raised an eyebrow, staring at J.

“Not mine.” J said. “At least not the majority of it.”

“Yeah I could tell.” Star said.

“Yep. Surprised he didn’t get any paper cuts.” J said.

Star shuddered. “Don’t even joke about something like that…” Star said.

J looked up at Star, “Who said I was joking?” J asked in a really serious tone.

Pinkamena grabbed Star’s glasses and put them on.

“Hey I need those…” Star said.

“Wow… You have bad eyes.” She said.

“I can still see I… Just need them to… Read.” Star said.

“Oh this one’s good.” J said as he flipped back a few pages. “Ha I remember when that happened. I thought for sure that we’d finally figured out how to pull pick our own door open. Then came the sledge.”

“You broke it down?” Star asked.

“The door?” J asked.

“What else…” Star said.

“Nope. The wall? Yes.” J said, “And it wasn’t me. I had found the spare key by the time Charlie grabbed the sledge hammer and busted the wall open.”

“Who’s Charlie?” Star asked.

“Doesn’t matter anymore.” J said quietly. “They’re all long gone.”

“Oh…” Star said. The room got quiet immediately.

“That was years ago though.” J said, “So… Oh yeah! Danny…” He flipped to another page a really intricate and complicated diagram was drawn on it.

“Uh… What’s that?” Star asked.

“Ummm I think it’s supposed to be a… um… I really don’t know.” J said. “It looks different from every angle. Or… at least it’s supposed to.” He looked at the corner of the page, “Oh it’s a message.”

“Please translate.” Twilight said.

“It says, ‘All praise unto the toaster.’” J said before he broke out laughing.

“Inside joke?” Star asked.

“Yeah…” J said as he wiped a tear away, “Oh… there’s another one.”

“Well don’t stop now… Go on.” Twilight said.

“This one… it’s just gibberish.” J said.

“Fascinating.” Twilight said.

“What do- GIVE ME MY GLASSES!” Star shouted, tackling Pinkamena to the floor, who held her arm away, glasses in her hand as she tried her best to keep it away from him. She started giggling.

“And… onto the next one.” J sighed as he flipped back some more. This time when he stopped the page was filled with meticulously drawn naked women all in various poses.

“What even…” Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.

J sighed, “Yep… I don’t even need to check who this is.” He said, “I think it’s best just to skip this one… this is all that’s in this section.”

“Good to know you were always entertained.” Twilight smiled coyly.

“If you want to see my drawings just ask.” J said. “This… is amature.”

“I’m sure.” Twilight said.

“Something wrong Star?” Pinkamena asked.

“I will destroy you…” Star grunted, held just barely away from his glasses.

“What’s next?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah… next would be Deuce and his spells…” J said as he flipped through in an attempt to skip the next section.

“Okay?” Twilight said.

Fluttershy put a hand on the page. “Don’t skip…” She said sternly.

“Fine…” J said quietly. “Just… I’m not being a test subject… once for these spells was enough. I can tell you what they do.” The page that was open had two spells written down on it.

“What do they do?” Twilight questioned.

J looked at the first one and chuckled a little, “That one just turns certain objects into rubber.” He said.

“Certain? How certain…” Twilight asked.

“The ceiling hurts a lot.” J said. “I should know he turned my bed into rubber and slammed me down onto it.”

Twilight smiled. “Oh.” She laughed.

“The second one though… it’s a bit more serious…” J started.

“Go on.” Twilight said. Her horn lit up and Star and Pinkamena were forced onto the couch. His glasses were pushed back onto his face.

“Thank you.” Star said.

“It’s… a very powerful combat spell.” J said. “Like… blow through concrete with ease powerful.”

Twilight was scanning the page rapidly.

“Trust me when I say this… that spell isn’t one you or anyone else should use…” J said, “It’s… what…” He stopped and closed his eyes. “Just… don’t ever use it… okay?”

“Sure…” Twilight mumbled.

“Look… there wasn’t anything left of him… or the people he used the spell on.” J said. “Just… a crater.”

Twilight stopped. “Oh…” She said.

“Like I said… it’s powerful…” J said quietly.

“Anything else?” Star asked.

“Yeah.” J said as he flipped the pages again, this time landing on a sporadically written on page. “Whenever I went over this section… I think someone ate a picture book and puked it up on these pages.”

“What is it?” Star asked.

“Let’s just say somehow beating random things covered in ink managed to make this section.” J said.

“Interesting…” Pinkamena mumbled.

“You know what… come to think of it Funny really reminds me of you Pinkamena…” J said, “Well you remind me of him.”

“Oh… Neat.” Pinkamena smiled.

“Yeah… he had a few stranger things about him though… like… pulling… random things… out of his pants…” J said.

“Sounds awesome!” Pinkamena smiled wider.

“Mmm yes. Pulling a large claymore out of your pants would be fun.” J said with a sigh, “Very… very fun…”

“Yes… Very fun.” Star joked.

“Want to hear the story of when we first found out he could do that?” J asked.

“Well I’ve got nothing better to do.” Star shrugged.

“Well me and the guys were out just… doing stuff. I guess that’s what it could be called…” J said, “Anyway… while we were doing stuff one of us had need for a pistol. Apparently Funny carried one around with him everywhere. So… Charlie said, ‘Then just pull that fucking toaster out of your holster!’ And next thing we knew Funny pulled an actual toaster out of his pants. He then said, ‘The toaster god has spoken, free bread for all!’ And so… the toaster was born.” He sighed, “And the next day he invented Fish Surprise. That… is just no.”

“The t- Okay…” Dash mumbled.

“Look… I stopped trying to figure out Funny the day after I met him.” J said, “And… I still wonder where he went.”

“So uh… How long were you two friends?” Twilight asked.

“Like three years.” J said, “Then… he sort of just… vanished. Right in front of me. No magic… no teleportation… just poof he was gone.”

“A bit odd.” Star said.

“Mmm not as odd as some of the jokes and pranks he pulled.” J said. “Like… Fish Surprise…”

“Hm.” Dash mumbled.

“Okay I’ll ask… What’s fish surprise?” Star asked.

“Well… first someone would need a fish.” J said. “Then slap someone across the face with it and yell something along the lines of surprise.”

“That’s… A lot… Okay.” Star said shaking his head.

“Yeah…” J said flipping to another page with a clear bloodstain on it. “And… I’ve had enough for today…” He shut the book.

“You… Okay?” Star asked.

J shook his head, “I’m… going to put this away…” He said as he got up from the couch and walked to the steps.

“We’ll be down here.” Star shrugged.