I barely managed to get to sleep last night. And now, that's all I want to do. I want to sleep, and never wake up. Yesterday was a toll on every fiber of my being, and now, I only have a few members of my inner circle left: Gondon, Kinua, Kelias, Mizzy, Hezafen, and Kherrie. Oh, and Jarvis, but I rarely acknowledge him. Those others "loyal" to me either split or died, including... Whip. God, hearing her name now just makes me depressed. Not only could I not save her, but I wasn't even that nice to her before she died. Ugh... Now I kinda wish Celestia had just killed me. I'm weakened, I'm vulnerable, and almost everyone is gone; Crush got wrecked by Stargazer, Ribbon left when she learned that Whip was dead, Whip... Well, you know what happened to Whip, and Colonel Corgi... vanished, I suppose. Honestly, I don't know WHAT happened to him. Now, I have virtually nothing, and if Celestia wants to end it, that's fine by me. I know she's coming, I just know it. It's only a matter of time before she finds out about this, seeing as news travels fast around here. But if she wants to come, let her... Let her try and kill me. God knows she can't if she tried.

Reluctantly, though, I manage to get up, and stand to face the day. I had evil shit to do today, and a little sadness wasn't going to get between me and the destruction of whoever was responsible for this.Yes, I was going to find the one who did this, and I was going to kill them, be they man, pony, or god. But before I could kill them... I needed answers. But how to find answers to these kinds of questions is not easy, and requires nothing less than a master detective to solve. But thankfully, I had plenty of ways to find this stuff out. Now, I just needed to start asking questions. I think that, now, it's time we had our first actual assembly meeting. So, that done, I found Jarvis, the shadow Kraata that Terridax gave me... well, more like he found me.

"Hello, sir. Finally decided to wake up, I see?" Jarvis said telepathically, startling me. But I quickly regained my posture, and gave my orders.

"Hello, Jarvis. Hey, can you do me a solid and round up the others for me?" I ask.

"But of course, sir. I'll be back soon." Jarvis said simply, and he slithered off out of the cave to get the others. Indeed, it was time we met and faced whatever was pulling this shit on me, so I could tear them in half, and then feed them to my personal garbage disposal, Gondon.

That is, if they didn't find me first.

It has been a long year... hasn't it? At the beginning of the year, all was well, I ruled my kingdom, almost free of the responsibility, when out of nowhere, a crazed... thing... pops out of another dimension, and he didn't even have the courtesy to look us in the eye before stabbing our backs. Malideus... How often have I heard that name? As I sit upon my throne, pondering the odd, dangerous wizard, I think of how different he is than anything we've ever faced before. The six bearers... they could do nothing to him. Nathan, he couldn't even touch him, bless his heart. And me? I am possibly the only one besides Luna who could stand a chance against him, and he swats us aside like chaff every encounter. What's worse? He's not just another god-like villain; He's a murderer, a psychopath bent on one goal: Killing every last pony he sees. Not griffons, not diamond dogs, not anything else, just ponies.

Personally... I want to know why. What is he? Why is he here? Why kill just us? But, alas, I see no way to really ask him that. However, I can at least strike a fatal blow to him, should the opportunity present itself, which it should soon. What few scouts return from his skies have told me of unrest in his ranks, particularly his 'inner circle', as I've taken to calling it. So now, with his ranks verging on disarray, all I need to do now... is wait, and survive. Suddenly, as I finish my thoughts, a winded, slightly burnt guard bursts through the throne room doors, looking like he'd lost a fight with a cooking stove. Then, snapping a lazy salute, he speaks:

"Milady, I bring news!" The guard says, and I am quick to reply.

"Well? Out with it, then. What did you see?" I ask, my anticipation building in light of what I hoped to be good news, the first instance of such I've heard since what seemed to be an eternity ago.

"Malideus's inner circle... it's finally fallen into disarray... But..." The guard hesitates, and I let my anxiety to hear the rest get the better of me as I retort, eager for the scout to finish his report.

"But? Come now, out with it! What's the problem?" I ask.

"It's that... the upstart was quickly squashed... by some kind of... well, I don't know! Malideus brought some kind of monster the likes of which I'd never seen with him, and it in turn summoned more creatures. Then, well, it completely squashed the rebellion! I tried to find out more, but then one of the first monster's underlings saw me, and, well... I don't know what it did, but next thing I know, my wings are disintegrating. I got away at the expense of only a lot of feathers, but I had to walk the way back, otherwise I'd have returned sooner. I'm sorry I could not see more, Milady... I know you really wanted to strike at him this time..." The guard lowers his head as he concludes his report, and under any other circumstances, he'd be right to be scared. But I'm not angry at this development, but... intrigued. So, he managed to quell a rebellion that should have destroyed him with little more than a lucky summon... likely one that wasn't around to protect him now. Even so, I still had to be sure.

"The monster that Malideus summoned... is it still there?" I ask, curious as to how this would turn out. I did not expect a clear answer from the guard when I asked that question, but if it was, I still had the opportunity I needed, but I had to exercise much caution, yet still take a great risk, one I haven't taken in a long time.

"Eh... last I checked, I saw something leave through a portal of some kind, possibly the monster. Why?" The guard finally asked me. So, I answered.

"Hmm... Good. You are dismissed, soldier." I finally said, and at my dismissal, the guard bowed and left, and I was left again to my thoughts, though I needed no time to decide my next course of action. If what the scout said was true, then the time to act was now, to send one last, vicious blow to Malideus, to finally be rid of him, once and for all.

Hmm... to think it would take us this long for him to slip up. He made many obviously bad decisions before, yet they had no impact on him, as though the future had no effect on him. In fact, the whole planet seemed to be spiraling out of control since his arrival, like his mere presence enticed rebellion from literally everything he so much as looked at.

'Oh well,' I think, 'All the more reason to kill him now, before the world completely ends.' Why, even the sun now resists me, and the moon my sister. Now that I think on it, what in Tartarus is going on? Why the sudden chaos, why now..?

...No, no more thinking, only acting. with him gone, all this will end. I know it will. It has to.

"Or does it?" Damn it all, not this thing again. The Narrator... I thought he was gone...

"You thought WRONG, little usurper. Unlike my champion, I am not so easy to be rid of... and seeing as how you have yet to kill Malideus, that should certainly speak well of me." The Narrator says, his grating, metallic 'voice' scraping and slashing the inside of my head like an inside-out blender. But seeing nopony else here, and already not willing to take this from a voice in my head, I quickly retort.

"Your 'champion', last I checked, 'Narrator', betrayed you and disowned you as his accomplice a long time ago. So how's that ego of yours now?" I ask aloud, but The Narrator only laughs, that infuriating, cynical, grating, headache-inducing laugh, and replies:

"Keh heh heh... My agenda exands farther than your petty comprehension, and willing or no, in the end, all of Malideus' actions fall right into their assigned place in my plan. In the end, Malideus, though he doesn't know it yet, serves me fully and zealously. And, in time, he will come crawling back to me, begging for my leadership... just like all the others." The Narrator says, and I want to say 'never!', or some other witty comeback, but I'm suddenly struck with a bout of curiosity, one that wracked my brain, and refused to leave me be until I asked... so I did.

"Hold... you said 'all the others'... What does that mean?" I ask, and I expect the voice to laugh at my lack of knowledge on that subject, but instead of laughter, I hear a low, angry, metallic growl, and I have to clutch my head to keep it from shaking apart until it stops. Then, in a voice that betrayed its anger, fury, and malevolence, The Narrator spoke again:

"You're so naive... and so foolish... an impetuous child, usurper to our, no, to MY throne... but I suppose I cannot blame you, it is not exactly your field, is it?" The Narrator chuckled maliciously for a second, then continued. "By others... I speak of the betrayers of my crown, the impetuous ones who sought a place higher than their own, and will soon suffer for it. I speak... of the other Old Gods, we who were already ancient before you were weaned from your mother's teat." The Narrator said ominously, and I felt like ending the conversation there, but some force in my mind, my impetuous curiosity, forced me to ask yet another question, just to know what the heck this voice was ranting about.

"Old Gods..? What are you talking about? Only the ones who made me and my sister could possibly be older than us. Who are you to call us children? You're just a disembodied voice!" I exclaimed, but I realized my mistake all too late when my head was suddenly assaulted with a pain so agonizing, so unbearable, that I could not help but cry out, grip it, and start sobbing in sheer pain, as if some force was crushing my skull from beneath my skin, steadily and easily crushing it enough to turn it to dust, but slowly, as to prolong the pain before the end. And above all, I heard its laughter, its horrible, metallic laughter, like two trains scraping against each other. Then, by some mercy, the pain suddenly stopped, leaving me laying on the floor, confused and understandably traumatized.

"That is only a mere fraction of the power I have over you, whelp! Even in my prison, I am to you like a giant is to a cockroach! To the pathetic worms you call citizens of your bleak empire, you may be a god. But to me... you are NOTHING! Now... I will not kill you... not yet. But you will do well to learn your place, lest you end up like Discord." The voice says, and I instinctively burst out, falling right into The Narrator's conversational trap yet again.

"Discord..? What did you do to him!?" I ask, and The Narrator chuckles, then replies:

"Silly, silly little princess... did you actually think the poor draconequues was ALWAYS so touched in the head? But of course not... he transgressed his boundaries, just like you almost did... though he received no warning before he did, unlike you. Like I said, you think me only slightly more than a voice now... but I was once KING amongst GODS! You will do will to remember that, usurper. You have no hope alone, or with discord, or with any force in this realm of existence." The Narrator says, and as I rise from the floor, I begin to regain my clarity, and I suddenly, if a tad late, realize my horrible position... OUR horrible position. If that thing, this 'Narrator', was controlling Malideus like a game piece...who was to say he wasn't controlling me, or Luna, or the whole planet!? Suddenly, in the middle of my thoughts, The Narrator spoke again, his voice soft, and with mock compassion.

"Ah, Now, at last, you understand. So, in light of this knowledge, what will you do, little one? Will you play along with my game? Or will you continue to defy me?" The Narrator asks me, and I struggle to get up, feeling his oppressive grip again crush me, and I cannot respond fully, only ask one question:

"Wha... What... ARE you!?" I ask, feeling its grip on my mind loosen, but never go away. The Narrator seems to ponder this mockingly, and after a few long, agonizing seconds, the grip is released, and it speaks once more before leaving.

"Hmmm... What I am is too far beyond you to even begin to describe. But you may call me... Ragnek." The voice says, and then, as if it took all my energy with it, as soon as 'Ragnek' leaves, I collapse to the ground, and it becomes equivalent to climbing a mountain to lift myself back onto my throne, a throne so soon to crumble, ruling an empire that was in the way of the devil himself... and all the while, all I can do is think:

"What... have I just gotten into..?" I ask, utterly defeated by little more than a voice in my head. Suddenly, a guard bursts in, seeing my sorry condition, and kneels, then speaks:

"Princess, are you alright? I heard yelling..." He begins, but I raise my hand in a gesture of silence, and the guard obliges.

"I am... I'll live, soldier... Listen, I need you to get Twilight Sparkle for me." I say quickly, and the guard looks about to ask why, but one look at me persuades him otherwise, and he hastily leaves, looking like... like...

...Like he'd just seen a ghost.

That was fun... Er, I mean, back to our protagonist, Malideus.

Egh... As luck would have it (Thank Nicol mother-fucking Bolas), I got the assembly together without much of a hitch, save Kelias, who had something of his own to do. So, in place of himself, he sends two other devils to our makeshift meeting table, some hunter-type named Illkurok, and a steampunk-looking one named Slizt. I don't really care, mind you, but I did take notes on these two for their odd (even for devils) appearance. Illkurok, though claiming to be a hunter, had some kind of headband covering both his eyes, wore what appeared to be painted armor of some metal or another, and carried a big-ass spear with him, and a rather well-made one at that. Maybe he stole it? Ah, then there was Slizt, the Izzet-wannabe. He was at least 5' 9", pretty fuckin' big for a devil, and wore brass armor, with lots of tubes and glass chambers that crackled with electricity on the inside. Interesting, however, I don't think these guys are going to be important ever, so lets ignore them, and get straight to the meeting... which I regret more than... no... slightly less than the 'cuddle game'.

"Okay, so, I guess you all know why I called you all here..." I begin, putting my hands together like a literal boss, but before anyone else can answer, Kherrie's hand shoots up, and I have to say: I admire her enthusiasm! Quite charming.

"Yes, Kherrie?" I ask, and she goes off like a rocket.

"Is this a super-secret villain meeting!?" She asks, and I sigh in such disapproval, I wish I had five more hands with which to facepalm, god she's blonde.

"Yes, yes this is. Does anyone know why we're here, though?" I ask, hoping to get someone else's attention. Unfortunately, that was not the case, as before anyone could even speak, Kherrie's hand shoots up again, and I have absolutely no choice but to call on her... again.
"Yes, Kherrie?" I say less-than-enthusiastically.

"So, this is an evil villain gathering, so, did one of us fail you for the last time?" Kherrie asks, causing murmurs to go around the table very quickly, as well as odd glances at me.

"What..?! No! No one here has 'failed me for the last time'!" I say, earning more murmurs, more offended than fearful.
"... Uh, I mean to say, I hope no one here will fail me for the last time... Ack! Uh, I mean... um, I hope that no one here fails me AT ALL, if it would... y-you know what, just... just shut up, Kherrie. Does anyone ELSE know why we're here? Anyone at all?" I ask, looking around, but no hands raise, probably in fear that I'll vaporize them, or something.

"... No one? No one knows why I called you all here?" I ask, and after a full minute of waiting, Illkurok coughs, and I jump to the first conclusion I can: He asked why.
"You! You asked, right?" I ask, and Illkurok puts his hands up, shaking his head.

"No, I just coughed! I swear!" The devils says fearfully, and suddenly Kherrie bursts out, interrupting he next string of awkward silence.

"Come on, we know you called us here because you're looking to execute someone because someone failed you!" Kherrie says, evoking a response from me.

"I'm not executing anyone! I just called you here to freaking discuss..."

"It was Hezafen, wasn't it?" Kherrie asks, interrupting me.

"Pardon?" Hezafen asks, turning his head toward Kherrie in what i can only guess was a glare. Thankfully, I was quick to intervene.

"No, it wasn't Hezafen, it wasn't anyone! I just called you here to-"

"Was it Kinua? She looks pretty shady to me." Kherrie blurts again, and quick as a whip, Kinua snaps her head toward Kherrie, and gives her a proper woman's death glare.

"Ex-CUSE me?" Kinua says, and I have it in my mind to duck under the table, but apparently Kinua can read minds, too, and while still glaring at Kherrie, she points to me, and gives a simple command: "Stay. You're sorting this out." Kinua says, and I reluctantly obey, while the two have a good, old-fashioned cat fight with their eyes. God, I can see the scratches forming already.

"Now, WHAT was that about me being 'shady'?" Kinua asks Kherrie rather threateningly, and I slowly move to make my escape before things start flying.

"Well, you know, you just look like someone who would stab a guy in the back. I mean, pooka like you ARE renowned for that." At that point, I'm under the table, and so is every other sane male in the room (save Gondon and Hezafen, neither of which could possibly give two flying fucks.), but Kherrie, in all her trying-to-get-me-killed mentality, still calls me out.
"See, I'm right, aren't I, Mal?"

"Please don't drag me into this." I plead, but apparently BOTH these chicks want me dead, because Kinua, not TWO SECONDS LATER, asks me:

"No, by all means, please, won't you tell us all why I'M the traitorous bitch now, Mal?" Kinua says, and at that moment, I swear a bell tolled, and Gondon just smiled, sitting there with a bowl of popcorn, while Mizzy was trying her hardest not to bust a gut. Jerks, the lot of them!

"Oh, Mally, what have you gotten yourself into now?" Mizzy asks, and I don't even move, except to speak my mind:

"I just wanted a meeting to discuss our next move! Why do you women have to make everything harder for me!? What'd I ever do to you!?" I cry, and Mizzy's about to bust out laughing, when Kherrie, bless her heart, starts right back up.

"Well, that's dumb! What's the point of having a secret super-villain meeting if you don't execute someone for being a failure for the last time?" Kherrie says, and I groan as I slide further under the table. Then, of course, Kinua gets involved.

"Great idea, Kherrie. I nominate you." She says, and Kherrie gasps, and I cover my ears, but it's unfortunately not enough to block out the ensuing argument between the two that occurs as follows:

"Bitch, do you know who I am!?" yells Kherrie, slamming her fists into the table.

"Yeah, you're a has-been flower goddess with DADDY ISSUES!" Retorts Kinua with a fiery vengeance. Bolas above, please don't let this rabbit hole go any deeper...

"At least I'm not some half-dead, stoned-looking, barely-dressed, scraggly, dirty, attention-seeking, deceitful bum who has to rely on others to live!" Kherrie shouts, and, unfortunately, is quickly retorted by Kinua.

"You're the deceitful one, Old God scumbag whore!"

"Dirty ghost!"

"Old hippy!"

"Affront to LIFE!!!"

"Powerless LOSER!!!"

"Bitch!"

"Wallflower!"

"Glorified Changeling!"

"Bee-seeker!"

The insults raged on, both Gondon and Hezafen looking on in extreme interest, while Mizzy giggled, unable to control herself, and the rest of us guys, even the devils, hid under the table, already plotting an escape route. But, I let my inner white knight slip, and it tried to set things right between the girls, god damn it.

"Uh, Girls, please..." I try. But before I can finish, I'm met with furious opposition.

"STAY OUT OF THIS, MAL!!!" Both ladies ('ladies' being relative) screamed at me, and I quickly ducked behind the chair, and my inner white knight didn't bug me again. Then, as soon as the insults stopped, the fighting began. Kinua, after being told that the only boyfriend she ever had was pretty much her dad and he DUMPED her, lunged at Kherrie, and then the real cat fight began. You know that nice Kimono Kherrie always wore? Ruined. I think the fight got (more) serious after the ribbon got torn off, and then Kherrie forced Kinua off her, started tearing at her, and, well, you can see where this goes from here. Bits of cloth here, flying insults there, and Gondon and Hezafen still giving exactly as many fucks as Spider Man.

But then, in the most ironic twist of fate imaginable, while the two were scrapping, one of the two had the brilliant idea to bring their 'disagreement' to the top of the table, and at the climax of their fight, one of them, god forbid, kicked Hezafen in the face, causing him to fall backwards. At first, everyone, even Kherrie and Kinua, just stopped, and looked where he fell. Hell, even I could feel that lingering sense of dread as the silence lasted for a good few minutes, but at first, nothing happened, so Kherrie and Kinua looked ready to go at it again, until in a spontaneous burst of anger and strength, the table flipped, flinging the two away, and there stood Hezafen, only his eyes had turned red, so it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was PISSED.

"Attack on self confirmed. Initiating self-defense protocol Sigma-Tau 05. Initiate Taunt: You two have fucked with the WRONG glass golem!" Hezafen says, and before I can react, Hezafen lunges at the two in an attempt to body-slam them... but it wasn't very effective. Just as he hits the ground, both Kherrie and Kinua roll out of the way, and Kinua quickly scrambles up a tree, while Kherrie hides in a different one, while they both try to diffuse the situation.

"Hezafen, jeez, what's YOUR problem!?" Cries Kinua. Brilliant.

"Response: Attack on self confirmed. Eliminating immediate threats." Hezafen finally says, and then he proceeds to wordlessly rip the tree Kinua was hiding in out of the ground, forcing her out of it. Believe me now, I wanted to intervene badly, but I was not about to get in the way of this brute while he was on a rampage, and by the look of it, neither were any of the present company, either. So, we all just sat and watched while Hezafen ripped out trees and chunks of earth in a mindless bid for the destruction of Kherrie and Kinua, and Gondon still had his popcorn. So, after a grandiose, Benny Hills-esque chase scene, the two that had first angered Hezafen finally tired out, and he finally caught them, grabbing them both by their necks. Then, finally, I decided to end this before I got knocked down two MORE members.

"Hezafen, put them down." I say simply and sternly, and it takes a moment, but the command eventually registers in Hezafen's head, and he puts the two down, and returns to his seat, whereupon I turn my ire towards the two chucklefucks that almost got themselves killed by a murderous golem.

"You two done now?" I ask, and both silently nod their heads, and return to their seats without a word, just the way I like it. Now, back to business.

"Okay, so... that happened. What now?" Mizzy asks, and I leap immediately into action.

"Well, now we get down to business. But, thanks to two unfortunate individuals..." I say, casting a poorly-hidden glare at Kherrie and Kinua before continuing, "I'll have to cut this briefing short. Someone, somewhere, is fucking with me, and it's not Celestia. I'm hereby moving your efforts to finding out who the fuck is doing this, be they old god, new god, princess, or pesky plumber, and bringing them to me. I don't want excuses, or shirking, I just want results. Do I make myself clear?" I ask, and everyone mumbles in agreement, making this first staff meeting as relatively painless as possible. Then, that done, I shift to the next order of business: searching.

"Alright, here's how this search is gonna go down. Kherrie, you're going to be my eyes on every single old god there is. If any of them are focusing on me with even the slightest hint of ill intent, feel free to rat them out." I say, and Kherrie stands upright, snapping an attentive salute.

"Aye aye, captain!" Kherrie says, and I nod, shifting to the next search party.

"Alright, now for you, Kinua. You're going to be my eyes on any tribal societies that may be hexing me, you see any suspicious rituals involving me, you get me. Got it?" I ask, and Kinua nods quietly, still pretending to be the strong, silent type, and I go the next batch of spies.

"Hezafen and Gondon: You two are to go around and harrass anyone that looks in the know for information. Any spies you find, eat or crush them, your choice. As of now, you two are officially undercover cops. Decide amongst yourselves who gets to be bad cop." I say, and the two nod, brofisting eachother.

"Sweet. I call bad cop." Gondon says, and Hexafen shrugs, accepting this without a single fuck to give.

"Fair enough." Hezafen says. Then, at last I switch to my last batch of spies: The devils.

"Alright, you two and Jarvis are going with my last, most important job." I say, building up the suspense, and then hitting them with it. "See here, I suspect that things have been going wrong for me because of the one person I know who holds the largest grudge against me. So, you three are going to be spying on Celestia herself." I say, and the devils' jaws drop like I'd just shot them through the heart. Oh, come on, how did they not see this coming? But, nonetheless, they still protest my brilliant decision.

"Uh... Let me get this straight... You want us... to spy on CELESTIA? In her own castle?" Illkurok asks, and I simply nod.

"Yes, you two and Jarvis." I say, and the three look at me like I'm high.

"... And you're positive that this is a, how do you say, 'good idea'? I mean, what if we get caught?" Slizt, the second devil, asks me, a feeling of extreme distrust evident in his raspy, hissing voice.

"You're fucking devils, dude. If you get caught, then get the fuck out of there, one way or another. Either way, I doubt you'll have to worry about being seen, much less caught, because as I said, Jarvis is going with you." I say, and this time, Jarvis is the one who speaks up. God, these newbies are whiny.

"Um, sir... are you sure it's wise, sending me into such dangerous territory? I mean, if master Terridax discovered this..." the shadow Kraata begins, but I quickly cut him off, unwilling to hear his weak excuses.

"Well, Terridax isn't here, is he? As far as he said and I'm concerned, you're MY kraata, and you do MY bidding. Besides, of you three schmucks, you get the funnest job, Kraata." I say, and Jarvis seems hesitant, as if deciding to either perk up or slink back, and he eventually decides for the former.

"T-the funnest job? And... what would that be?" Jarvis asks me suspiciously, and I quickly reply:

"Why, only the most important job of all: See Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over there?" I ask, gesturing toward Slizt and Illkurok, who cast quick, vengeful glares at me, before I continue:

"Well, those two will only be the distraction. They're going to go in with you, cause as much trouble as their fiery, devilish hearts can muster, and then you're going to sneak into the castle, and use your sneaky mind-control powers to get as much information as you can from Celestia's generals, officers, champions, it doesn't matter. Either way, once you have something of value, or at least have brain-searched every likely candidate, you are to return here and spill everything. Understand?" I ask, and slowly, the Kraata nods, albeit reluctantly. So, that done, I move to the last bit of business, eager to get this over with.

"Alright, Kherrie, Hold down the fort while I'm gone. I have somewhere to be." I say, dusting myself off, and as I get up, Mizzy casts me a confused look at me, before asking a question I was more than prepared to ask:

"And where are YOU going?" Mizzy asks. I, though, just sigh, but answer back nonetheless.

"To see a colleague. I'll be back shortly." I say, and then I'm off without a word, leaving a rather miffed-looking Mizzy behind. But, as I wander in the direction (last I checked) of none other than that dead, pooka-infested hellhole of a forest that Virgil resided in. Grave hills, or something, I believe? Eh, I'll check later. Now though, I was at the very center of the everfree, so I took out my Oghma Infinium, flipped through it a bit, and then...

"Ah... Malideus. I was wondering when I'd finally catch you alone." Ihear a dark, but unforgettable voice call to me from behind, and I don't even bother turning around: I already know who it is.

"No fucking way..." I mutter, turning, eager to see if I was hallucinating. And sure as god made little green apples, there he was, in all his pitch-black, inky, body-builder-esque glory...

Kragda Mother-Fucking Maul, in the flesh, was now standing right behind me, looking smug as ever... though a bit... troubled?

"And a fine hello to you, too, Chris. So tell me, how's my little girl doing with you?" He asks, and I am a bit caught off-guard by the question, but I answer to the best of my abilities anyway:

"Um... fine... But, what are you doing here? I thought I... you know..." I stammer, not wanting to remind Maul of how badly I kicked his ass last time, seeing as I'm alone, and he can still snap me like a Slim-Jim. But instead of getting angry, Kragda Maul smiles slightly, and replies:

"Yes... yes, I do know. I was there, after all... right on the other end of that damn staff of yours. However, though that was humiliating, and I would love nothing more than to break you in half right now... I'm afraid this meeting is for a different purpose. See, you're not the only one who thought I'm dead... and with good reason." Maul says, ending the sentence with a hacking cough, and then straightening back up, as if nothing happened.

"Okay, well, then what does that have to do with me?" I ask, confused. Okay, he shows up while I'm alone, looking half-dead, and doesn't even come back to kill me? I have got to hear the story behind this. And luckily, Ol' Kraggy here is just itchin' to tell me, by the look of it.

"Heh... huh... Well, It's... It's because I can't face my daughter, after all I put her poor heart through, and even so, I was still reluctant to tell you... but I have to tell someone; I cant let myself fade, not like this..." Krag says, and he's interrupted by another bad coughing fit, and I have to catch him from falling over as he hacks his lungs out. Then, once he stabilizes, he gets back up, dusting himself off.

"Dude... are you okay? You look like you're..." I say, but I pause, suddenly realizing what's going on: Sickly behavior, lamenting like an old man... He's...

"Dying? Yes, I'm afraid I am. I fear that, at long last, Ragnek's curse has still found me, no thanks to you. But... I'm not mad, and I'm not here to pick another fight with you, Chris." Kragda-Maul says, and then the Old God sits down on a fallen tree, and before he can begin to explain himself, I ask:

"What? Then why are you here? If you're dying, then what do you want with me?" I ask.

"... Simple, my boy. I came... to help you one last time, to hold true to my cause of helping any and all who need it. I came here, boy... to warn you, and, this time, to ask you a favor in return." Kragda-Maul says, and after another light coughing fit, I press my obvious question:

"W-what..? You... want to help me? After all I did? But you're dying, man! Don't you, like, want to take your power back, or something vengeful like that?" I ask, and after a brief pause, Kragda-Maul chuckles, and replies, like a father to a naiive child:

"... Yes, that would be nice... but in the long run, what would any of that do? If I take my power back, I'll just die all the same, same time, same way... just with bigger muscles. No, revenge won't fix anything now, and honestly, I should thank you. But now's not the time for that. You want my help, or not?" Maul asks, and I ponder for a second, at first suspicious of him, but I trusted him before, and I feel so bad about how I betrayed him, I feel like I at least owe him a lending ear. So... I lend him mine.

"Eghn... Alright, I'll bite. What did you want to warn me about?" I ask, still wary, but nonetheless attentive. Kragda-Maul then smiles, coughs twice, and begins:

"I came to warn you... about two people." He says, and I interrupt him.

"Let me guess: Celestia and Ragnek?" I ask, and Kragda-Maul smiles grimly, and continues:

"Close... but no. The two I want to warn you about... are Jarvis and Lumi." The old god says, and as confused as I am, I still maintain my calm, in-control voice, despite being warned about a gift I got and someone I never heard of before, and ask my question:

"What? Jarvis? Him? And who's Lumi?" I ask, and Maul coughs a bit, then gestures me to be quiet.

"Hush, boy, I'm getting to that! Now, listen, and listen good. About this Jarvis character... he's playing you, boy." Maul says, catching me by surprise. But, before I can voice my shock at his accusation, Kragda-Maul corrects himself, continuing. "Or, rather, it would be more accurate to say that his MASTER is playing you like a lute. You see, Malideus... Through that ugly leech, That Terra-Dex fellow you've become acquainted to has been subtly controlling your brain and feelings, even as he plots and conspires against other villains all over the multiverse. I'm not used to that word, mind you, as it's a recent addition to my vocabulary. But hey, I also never thought a mortal could ever best me, so maybe it's not so far fetched as I thought." Kragda-Maul says, and I find myself just a bit angry. But before I can voice it, Maul interrupts me, remembering one last-minute detail:

"Oh, and it seems that the ugly robot has a bad case of the gay, so I'd steer clear of him, lest you catch it, too." Maul says, coughing, and I, honestly, don't know how I feel. Yeah, I got betrayed again, and he looked like such a friendly soul, too... but now I have insulting leverage on him, so it balances out... for the most part.

"Um... Oh... kay..? So... What about that Lumi person you were on about?" I ask, now officially confused. But hey, whatever.

"Ah, yes... Lumi. I have quite the profile on her, but to go into detail would just waste your time with boring miscellaneous, So I'll make this as quick as I can. You know how I said you were fateless, right?" Maul says, and I nod in agreement, remembering how he told me that.

"Yeah? What of it?" I ask.

"Well... As it turns out, Lumi, of all people, just so happens to be... wait for it... The new Goddess of none other that fate and destiny itself. And as a result, You, Malideus, are an affront to all she upholds... and a target for her wrath." Kragda-Maul says, then he pauses, turning to cough some more, and then he continues, seeing as I had no input on the matter, though I did not like where this was going AT ALL.

"So, anyway... Normally, and at first, she didn't care that you even existed. Normally, when something is severed from the threads of fate, it's dead. So, even though you were clearly not dead, Lumi made the mistake of ignoring you, thinking that you would be dead soon, or at least not a problem." Kragda Maul says, and then I see where this is going fast. But for his sake, and because I owe him for blowing him to smithereens, I kept quiet, allowing Maul to finish.

"...But, lo and behold, guess what's happening right now? Thanks to you, the books of fate are being torn apart, page by page, word by word, each name erased with each being or object you touch. Your fatelessness, Malideus, seems to affect the threads of fate itself, and everything and everyone you touch or affect in some way removes many, many of those threads. This is making Lumi, as you say, really fucking pissed. As such, you've become a target, and she was behind Stargazers uprising. You know how? She wrote it into the book of fate. She did that multiple times to kill you. Lot of good that did her..." Krgda-Maul says, and as of now, the information I have just taken in is overwhelming. I'm not just the object of desire for one god, but two! TWO (Terridax doesn't count; he's a gaylord cock-mongler.)!!! And who knows how many more are out for me? Three? Seven? All of them?

"... I... I don't know... what to say..." I stammer, sitting down on a rock to catch my head before it explodes. Welp, consider that trip to Virgil's place crossed off my to-do list. "How... Why... Kragda-Maul... How did this happen..?" I ask, desperately trying to keep my brain from melting. And with a sigh, Maul replies, his voice full of sadness and sympathy, and, for the first time ever, Kragda-Maul was not smiling.

"It's not your fault, boy. This world was a giant game of four-dimensional chess before you came here, and when you did, that one unexpected, unbidden piece... the whole board fell apart. Mind you, boy, not everyone is against you... but half of them are, even so. And with me gone, that will make it the majority by one." Kragda Maul says wearily. But then, he smiles warmly, and places a hand on my shoulder, and continues on a high note, to my joy:

"... However, despite this... You shouldn't fret the numbers. As I said before: You are Malideus; The anti-god. I suspected it then, and I sure as Tartarus know now, that even IF Lumi decides to take you on, or any god, for that matter, you can, and will, blow them back into fucking starstuff. I know this." Kragda-Maul says, and then he removes his hand from my shoulder, coughs some more, then I take center stage.

"Maul... Thanks. Oh, and... sorry for blowing you up." I say, trying to hide the fact that this was now becoming a bonding moment. Damn, I get myself into some awkward situations sometimes, don't I? It's like I'm living in a bad fanfiction, or something.

"It was nothing, Chris, just the least I could do for you, and... And Kherrie. Which, by the way, brings us to the topic of that favor." Maul says, and I suddenly perk up, and brace myself for anything.

"Yeah..?" I ask slowly, and Kragda-Maul continues:

"... I... It's about... Kherrie. Now, before you get any thoughts, no; I don't want her dead, or away from you, for that matter." Kragda-Maul says, and now I'm utterly confused. Didn't he HATE Kherrie? But, before I could ask that, Kragda-Maul continues, and I listen: I owe him that much.

"Listen, boy... Ever since you defeated me last, as humiliating as that was, it gave me time to think as I reconstituted my physical body...and in that time, I realized something you and she said, and that you both were right: I was a terrible, horrible father, and to my only child, no less." Kragda-Maul pauses, sighing, and then continues, putting a sad song into my head:

"You see... all I wanted when I made Kherrie was a copy of myself. But what I failed to realize was that I went about it all wrong, and in the end, spirits cannot simply be moulded into a desired form. The soul chooses what it wants to be, and Kherrie, though she doesn't know it, may not be my spitting image... or even like me in the slightest... but she is everything I wanted her to become. Kherrie, after all these years, has become a strong, smart, independent goddess, and likely the best this world has ever, or will ever see. Malideus... after what I said and did, I can't bear to face my little girl again, not after what I put her through. However, I can't go easily until she knows that I've learned my mistake, even if it was years too late, and that, even though I never showed it, I always loved her. My Daughter... My baby girl... Malideus, Promise me... Promise me you will tell her what I told you: That she is my pride and joy, and that though I will be gone soon, my last moments will be spent in apology for all the hell I put her through over these years, and that I hope she forgives me in the end. That is all... all that I ask. Will you do this?" Krgada-Maul finishes, his face one of a sad, desperate father; no smile to be seen, only sadness in his eyes, and let me tell you now, so I don't have to later:

At that moment, on that day, a single manly tear was shed. No, I didn't fucking bawl like a toddler, but I felt. Oh, I felt. And now, I had to pass that feel on to another... to Kherrie. So, without another thought, I stood up, and gave my answer:

"... I'll do it." I say, and Kragda-Maul smiles once more, and closes his eyes, his head and heart now content.

"... Thank you, Malideus. Rest assured, all knowledge of this moment will die with me. It's the least I can do for some closure. Now, you know what you need to know, and you have a destination. Go forth, and fuck up the existences of those arrogant, puffed-up old gods that dare oppose you, would you? I would like to die with some peace and quiet, and this spot seems perfect." Kragda-Maul says, and with that, I left without a word, my heart heavy. I knew I couldn't carry it into battle with me, but I had to take all this anger out on someone, and guess who my first target was? That's right: Celestia. It was time I ended this little game, once and for all. But first... I had some bad news to share with one of my now-smaller inner circle. So, without further ado, I walk to the cave, and as I walk... I think.

I'm now a primary target for a lot of powerful beings, all of whom want me on their side, or off the board. Now, with so many allies gone, I'm left to myself, and very little else. I'm now weak, vulnerable, and I could be taken out at any moment by some god or another, or god forbid Celestia. In thought... what was I doing, anyway? I don't know how to run a country, or even kill someone I've looked in the eyes. But I have to now. Like Maul said: The souls becomes what it wants to be. My soul was always hateful and contemptuous, and it made itself, and me, into Malideus, the Scourge Eternal. Kragda-Maul... Such a tragic character. He thought he was doing right by his actions toward his daughter, but realized too late that he was wrong. Am I destined to be like him? A once-proud warrior, triumphant over his enemies... only to realize he has nothing left? And that all he did that he thought was right, was really just pointless?

... God, death sure makes a guy think, doesn't it? Kragda-Maul... in your memory, Kherrie will hear your words. I promise. Then, I'm going to make Ragnek suffer for everything. This isn't a save-the-world promise, or a hero's promise: That big fuck screwed me over too many times, and now I'm gonna free him, just so I can kick his ass myself. But, in interruption of my lament, I see the cave clearing, and everyone has gone to do their tasks. Everyone, that is, except for Kherrie, conveniently. She seemed to be sitting, and thinking. About what, I don't know. But now, I had some pretty heavy stuff to drop out of my heart, so those thoughts were not a concern to me. Suddenly, Kherrie sees me, and looks about to leave, but I call out to her, stopping her.

"Kherrie, stop." I call, and Kherrie stops to turn to me, and then she approaches me, examining my eyes, and laughs.

"Mal? Holy carp, man, what's with you? You look like someone died!" Kherrie says, and I suddenly grab her shoulder without thinking, and almost shed one more manly tear. I'm trembling at this point now, and Kherrie looks nervous, and why shouldn't she be? She doesn't know... yet.

"Mal..? M-Mal, what's wrong? ...Mal...?" Kherrie asks. Then... I tell her.

"Kherrie... You know that someone DID die today, right?" I ask.

"W-well, I figured... Why? is this important?" Kherrie asks, suddenly becoming more nervous than before.

"... Sort of. Kherrie... You know how I blew up your dad, right?" I ask, and Kherrie sighs, her mood stabilizing.

"Uh... yeah, I think. Yeah, you did! Why?" She asks. Then, without thought, my grip tightens, and I break the news to Kherrie, explaining everything.

"Your dad... he didn't die that day. He came back, long enough to tell me who the real culprit of our bad luck is... And that he... well..." I stammer, unsure of how to tell someone who'd been convinced that her dad pretty much held nothing but contempt for her, that he suddenly came back from the dead to tell her that he loved her with all his heart.

"Well? What? What else?" Kherrie pressed irately, sensing my restraint, and finally, I caved in.

"Your dad... he died today. But before he did, he told be two things: He told me who my real enemies are... and that, no matter what you thought, he loved you with all his heart." I say, and I expected many things to happen right then and there: I expected Kherrie to laugh at me, or to get angry at me, or even to walk away, like I was crazy. What I did not expect, however, was for Kherrie to stand there, looking like I'd just slapped her, and after a moment, reply in a way I would never have seen coming:

"... Mal... can you take me to him?" Kherrie asks, and I sit there, awestruck, but I quickly shake it off, and nod.

"Um, Yeah, I can take you." is my brilliant reply, and then, we both make the grueling, long trip to the forest center, where poor Maul was dying as we speak. Then, when we reach the forest center, we both see him, still sitting on that log, looking weak... but not dead, not yet. Then, without me, Kherrie walks over to him, and a great scene plays out before me.

They fucked. No, just kidding, but it was pretty sad. Maul, as he hears Kherrie approach, opens his eyes, and looks to his daughter, and a moment passes, and Kherrie seems wary of this whole thing, but she eventually starts it all off:

"It's... it's true, isn't it?" She asks, looking downtrodden. Then, sighing, Kragda-Maul looks to Kherrie, and replies:

"... Yes. I'm finally going. But... I didn't expect you to see me. I... I assume Malideus told you, then?" He asks, and Kherrie actually starts to tear up, and continues:

"Yeah... he did. So... did... you actually mean what you said? About me being your pride and joy?" Kherrie asks, and Kragda Maul smiles, looking at his daughter lovingly.

"Of course, Kherrie. I... I don't know what Malideus told you exactly... but I'm glad I get to tell you here, to ease your heart, as well as mine: You are... my single greatest blessing, amongst a thousand curses beset upon me by Ragnek. I... I put you through so much pain... I even tried to destroy you when I deemed you a failure... and I curse myself with eternal damnation for that. But the truth is, Kherrie... I may not have shown it, but I always loved you, my daughter, my pride and joy... My Kherrie." Kragda-Maul says, sighing again, and Kherrie looks about to burst into tears.

"... Why now?... Why wait so long, and tell me while you're dying? Why not when I was born? Or even when you were trying to make me into YOU!? I can't believe it now, not after all the shit you dragged me through. All these years... Why wouldn't you at least SAY it!?" Kherrie bawls, and I have to look away, before I catch a case of "emotional sensitivity". But, I hear the dialogue go on from there, and up next is Kragda-Maul himself.

"... You... You're right, Kherrie. I didn't believe it myself, all those years ago, and I thought that the only way I could love something, was if it was my reflection. But... I learned, all too late, that you were my greatest creation of all as you were... even if I couldn't see it myself. It... *cough*... took me thirty-seven thousand years, my little one... and it took my death at the hands of Malideus to realize it... but you are who you are, chosen by yourself the moment you were born. You are my legacy... A legacy of light and life, after an age of darkness and lies. Kherrie... I don't care what you think of me anymore. I was a horrible father, and a worse teacher... I should have done better, accepted you for who you are, for you are the promise of the continuation of my name, but I didn't. But, as long as you know that you were and are the greatest thing to ever happen to me... I can go with peace." Kragda-Maul says, and Kherrie chokes up, but she stays strong, and I hear the rest of this sad story out.

"Dad... I'm sorry I was such a disappointment..." Kherrie says, but Kragda-Maul puts his hand to her head, and he replies:

"Kherrie... you were never a disappointment. I merely chose to be disappointed in you, but you managed to outshine even me in my prime. Kherrie... be the best you that you can be. Don't let... *Hack! Cough!*... Don't let me stop you. I... Should've done... better... Kherrie... I'm so glad... that you were with me... in these final moments of my long, long life... I... I love you... with all my heart... Never...ever... forget..." And, at that, Kragda-Maul's eyes closed one last time, and stayed shut. at last, after thousands of years, the mighty Kragda-Maul, god of Chaos and Irony, and second-strongest old god to date, was finally dead, done in by a curse that, for all his power, he could not evade. I then looked to Kherrie. She looked ready to break down at any moment, and I understand. I won't go into it, like, ever, but I know her pain. And so, I reach out, and grab her shoulder, trying to sympathize. But then, she turns, and rushes into my chest, burying her sobbing head into my chest, and just squeezing me like a big teddy bear. You, laugh it up, jerks. Yeah, look at it, the mighty, murderous Malideus has feelings. But you know what? I never asked for them. But I have them anyway, so I squeeze Kherrie back, and after a while, we uneventfully bury Ol' Maul where he fell, walked back to the cave, and sat at the mouth, sitting there... and thinking.

To think... even a god is finite. Kragda-Maul, Strongest god, craftiest trickster... most loving father, in his final hours. It makes a guy think: What's going to happen when I die? What will I leave behind to show the world that I was here? Ruins? A dead civilization? A legend that will one day be only used to scare children?

... Well, that's for tomorrow to decide, when my spies have return. And tomorrow... I will prepare for my greatest fight yet. Me, versus Celestia, the final conflict. But how it goes down...

...is for fate to decide.

Author's Notes:

So, I just found out that there was a read-aloud of my story on youtube.

...

WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS!?