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Best Served With Peanut Butter

by Akumokagetsu

Chapter 1: The Best Laid Plans


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Trixie denies any and all allegations that involve Twilight Sparkle and questionable consent.

It was a complete coincidence that Trixie just so happened to be poring over a couple of musty spell books looking for some ways to instantly boost her arcane power when she stumbled across the mind-switching spell. It was also a complete coincidence that her dreaded arch nemesis, Twilight Sparkle, just so happened to be picking up groceries and browsing onions on a Tuesday just like clockwork.

Totally not because Trixie had been stalking her to memorize her schedule and catch her off guard. Trixie is totally innocent.

Trixie Lulamoon had been feeling pretty good about herself in that moment, quietly powering up the mind-switching spell as she crept up behind the unsuspecting unicorn. Her plan was falling perfectly into place so far; wait until Twilight turned around, slip up as close as possible, and blast the wretched mare with the mind-switching spell. Then, Trixie would be the one with the most powerful magic, and stupid Twilight Sparkle would grovel before her like she should!

Although, Trixie had to admit, she didn’t necessarily enjoy the thought of seeing her own body groveling.

But then again, she could just use Twilight’s stupid amounts of magical power to make herself look like she was supposed to. There was a spell for that, right?

She shrugged internally. If not, there was always mane dye.

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“Hang on now, Winona!” Applejack snapped in exasperation, straining at the leash to keep her overexcited dog in check. She pulled harder on her dog’s leash, keeping the fuzzy animal still for a moment as she turned back to Carrot Top.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” she apologized. “Like I said, at least the poor gal won’t have the problem much longer.”

“Best of luck with that, Applejack,” Carrot Top nodded to her. “By the way, my sister in Baltimore sends her regards.”

“Aw, well, shucks. Tell ‘er I said hello right back!” Applejack grinned, their small talk distracting Winona temporarily from the bobbing light.

However, they mysterious shimmer caught her attention once again, and Winona jerked on her leash as hard as she could. Caught by surprise, Applejack found the leash slipping swiftly from her grasp as the unruly Winona wriggled free and darted toward the shiny toy.

“Winona, git back here!”

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And after Trixie had all the power in Equestria, Trixie would be crowned Princess of Everything. Probably by default, after they all saw how incredible she looked.

Trixie would be better than all of them combined! Trixie would be powerful, Trixie would be obeyed, Trixie would never have to go back to a dirty rock farm again, Trixie would be listened to.

Trixie would be respected –!

“Winona, git back here!”

“Wait, what?” Twilight’s head turned sharply just as Trixie released the pent up spell, which had been gathering blistering blue sparks at the tip of her horn. Trixie jumped in surprise as the equally stunned unicorn whirled on the spot, the cerulean glow surrounding her whipping sharply into reality.

Trixie had barely a moment’s notice before she was roughly slammed into by a large, hairy dog, interrupting her spell.

The sparks blasted all over the place, and Trixie tumbled with what felt like an electrical jolt. Twilight must have been caught up in the fray, because she was yanked along with the yapping dog and shocked unicorn, a swarm of dust flying about them.

“Winona! Winona!” Applejack bellowed angrily, finally grabbing the dazed dog’s leash. “What in the world has gotten into you?”

Winona, for all the world, appeared to be completely brain dead. She drooled slightly and shook her head, ears flapping back and forth. Applejack started to help Twilight to her feet, spotting Trixie.

“Oh, heck,” Applejack rolled her eyes and spoke dryly. “If I’d have known it were you, I’d have let ‘er lick ya halfway ta’ death.”

Trixie groaned, rubbing her aching back as she stood wobbling. A sliver of despair spiked through her, and she hung her head.

Failure.

“Keep that filthy beast on a leash, will you?” Trixie retorted coldly, only glad that Twilight and Applejack apparently had no idea of just how close she had been to retribution at last. Applejack, who was busy dusting off a dazed and confused Twilight, held up Winona’s leash in one hoof sarcastically.

“Well, golly gee, sure wish this dumb ol’ cowpony had thought of somethin’ so genius,” she drawled, slowly pulling the very befuddled Winona away. The dog gaped at Trixie, yapping and barking again to no avail. Applejack slapped the still drooling Twilight on the back.

“Shake it off there, partner!” she chortled, realigning her Stetson hat and giving the whimpering Winona another tug. “Now, come on, ol’ gal. We’re gonna be late!”

Trixie was left standing alone in the center of the street with the heavily panting Twilight, who only stared at her with a goofy grin on her face. To be honest, Trixie was rather astounded that Twilight hadn’t so much as asked why Trixie had attacked her in the first place.

“… Don’t mock Trixie,” she spat at the violet unicorn angrily. “We both know you’re waiting to rub it in before casting one of your stupidly overpowered spells and throwing me out of Ponyville again. Go on. Get it over with already,” she glowered, and Twilight only tilted her head.

“… Well?” Trixie stamped a hoof expectantly, Twilight following her gaze. “Are you going to just sit there!?”

Twilight barked, sitting down on the spot.

“… What.”

“Applejack!” Twilight yelped, jumping up excitedly again, running a circle around the flabbergasted Trixie. “Applejack, Applejack, Applejack! Toy! Fetch!”

Trixie stared at the overexcited unicorn, her own mouth hanging open. Perhaps the mind –switching spell hadn’t failed after all…

But that meant –!

“Fetch! Applejack, shiny toy! Shiny toy, Applejack!”

“Oh, what in the blue hell have I done.”

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Twilight gawked in shock and terror at her fuzzy brown paws as Applejack tugged her along the sidewalk, desperately struggling to get her attention.

Applejack! Help! Trixie did something to my body!

However, when she tried to speak, it only came out in a series of whines and barks.

“Aw, hush now, Winona!” Applejack scolded her, giving her a heavy stare. “I know you don’t wanna, but it’s gotta be done. Especially what with all o’ your activity lately. Trust me, old girl, I didn’t want this to happen any more than you do.”

I don’t know what you’re talking about!

“Yap yap bark yap barkbarkbarak yap!”

“See, this is precisely why I don’t have dogs,” Carrot Top nodded to a surly Applejack as the cowpony passed her once again. “Take care getting Winona fixed, Applejack!”

… wait, WHAT?!

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