Well, well, well. Ain't this a bloody fun fest? My name's Oliver Crop, and one minute, I was taking this strange new drug in my crapsack of an apartment, then the next thing I know, I'm in the prissy princess body of some pony! Man, I knew I shouldn't have trusted that shifty magical Asian drug dealer. Now everyone thinks I'm some loser named Twilight Sparkle, I apparently have responsibilities to some boring-ass country called Equestria, and I have a bunch of freaky chicks for friends. Either this is the most whacked-out trip of my life, or these narcotics just dumped me in girly hell.