Such a perfect day in Ponyville it was. The sky was clear, ponies were happy, and absolutely no world-ending catastrophes were set to happen that day. For once, the simply named rural town could enjoy itself without worry, in particular the lavender princess whom resided in the tree library. With no royal duties needing attention or mass panics to be quelled, Princess Twilight could enjoy the day all to herself. And she planned on taking full advantage of this fact.

Currently, she was in a field just outside of Ponyville, laying on a blanket while reading Celestia's diary from a thousand and one years ago. The ancient journal heralded many secrets, and Twilight was eager to uncover them all.

Fascinating; I never would've guessed Name Swap was around back then. That must be why Celestia officially recognized the name Nightmare Moon in that flashback; Luna legally changed her name on the spot. But to think it was restricted to upper class ponies back then . . . wow, so much more than I thought has changed in the last millennium. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! What else does this thing have to say?

Twilight continued reading well into the day, completely ignorant of her surroundings. By the time Celestia's sun was midway through the sky, Twilight had poured over almost one third of the diary's entries. Deciding she'd read enough, Twilight packed away the diary in her saddlebag and pulled out a checklist of things she planned to do on her day off from royal duties. She crossed off "Read Celestia's diary", and looked down to the next item listed. Before she could read it to herself, however, she caught sight of a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. She quickly whipped her head around, eyes wide with alarm and horn charging with magic, but nothing was there.

I must be seeing things, she mused internally.

Shrugging, Twilight looked down at the checklist again, nodded to herself at what was listed next, and turned to return it to her saddlebag.

"Ooh, such a delightful read this is!"

"AAAH!" Twilight started, dropping the checklist and falling flat on her rump.

There, lying on his own blanket and reading Celestia's diary, was Discord. The reformed spirit of chaos was wearing typical tourist apparel; a straw hat, floral clothes, and comically oversized sunglasses. On the ground next to him was a coconut with a crazy straw sticking out of it. He took ahold of the coconut and sipped on the straw. The coconut milk proceeded to break through the plastic and bypass all the loops and twists before breaking through it again at the end and entering his mouth. Setting the coconut back down, he turned to Twilight.

"Tell me," he said, "what does Tia think of you snooping through her once personal diary?"

Twilight took a few moments to reel back from the shock of seeing Discord appear out of nowhere. She took a few heavy breaths, trying to calm herself lest she have a heart attack. Eventually, she managed to calm her nerves and reply to him.

"What are you doing here?"

Discord frowned. "Can't a spirit of chaos drop by and say hello to the adorkable, lavender, alicorn princess everypony knows and loves?" His lip began quivering. "Are we not friends, Twilight?" Tears began rolling down his cheeks.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I haven't gotten to the part where I berate you for sneaking up on me, Discord, so your faux hurting is coming too early."

"But you were going to do so, weren't you?" Discord's tears began forming puddles on the ground, which froze into grape slushie soon after contact. "I thought our troubled history was all water under the bridge." More lip quivering. "Was I wrong in assuming such a thing?"

Twilight rolled her eyes again. "Discord, if there's one thing you'll never do under Celestia's sun, it's drop by just to say hello."

"I guess everyone does know that by now," Discord replied, all trace of his faux hurting completely gone.

"Yes, they do," Twilight stated matter-of-factly. "Anyway, don't you know better than to sneak up on ponies?

Discord frowned. "Can't a spirit of chaos drop by and say hel-"

"DISCORD!!!"

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you why I'm here, Princess No-Fun," Discord replied, mumbling the last part to which Twilight rolled her eyes a third time. "I've come to introduce you to a new game of my creation."

Twilight quirked a curious brow. "A game?"

"Yes, Twilight, you heard me correctly." Discord snapped his talon to which a doctor's stethoscope appeared in his paw. "Perhaps you should get your ears examined if you're hard of hearing, princess."

A fourth eye roll. "I think I'll pass, both on your suggestion and on your game." She levitated the diary back into her saddlebag, slung it over her shoulder, and picked up the checklist. "Goodbye, Discord."

Twilight began heading in Ponyville's direction. She hadn't made it more than five steps, however, when her hooves got stuck in some sticky substance on the ground which halted her advance. Glancing down, she saw that she'd stepped in what looked like caramel quicksand, if the sweet smell was any indication as to what it was. She tried lifting her hoof out, but the stuff was too strong and it kept her firmly secured where she stood.

"Not. Funny. Discord," Twilight grumbled.

The draconequus lazily floated around in front of her, holding his best attempt at an innocent smile. Twilight was unfazed, however, and tried to use her magic to free herself. But to her frustration, the more magic she charged into her horn the deeper she sank into the caramel.

"You know," Discord said, "you could avoid all this if you agreed to play with me."

Twilight glared daggers at the draconequus. "This is MY day off, okay. I'd like to spend it in peace and by myself."

"Oh, come now, Twilight Sparkle." Discord reached over and patted Twilight on the head, to which she shook furiously to bat him away. "I ensure you'll find my game fun rather than excruciatingly painful to your sanity. Just give me a chance to prove it."

Twilight held her scowl while flapping her wings in a futile attempt to fly out of the sticky trap. She kept flapping until she'd exhausted herself, to which she fell barrel down into the caramel and got herself even more stuck. Finally, with a sigh, she gave up.

"Fine," she grumbled, "I'll play your stupid game."

"Excellent!" Discord exclaimed. He snapped his talon, to which Twilight was immediately freed from the caramel. "Just give me a second to set everything up."

One second later . . .

Twilight stared in confusion at the setup before her. With just one more snap of his talon, Discord had brought into existence what looked like a cross between two bowling alley lanes and a couple of chessboards. Both lanes had a black and white checkered pattern at opposing ends which were two meters wide by one meter long, while each lane was fifteen meters long as a whole. Next to each lane was a square, concrete hole in the ground about half as big as the checkered areas. If one were to look down into either hole, they'd see the bottom was covered from end to end with a hoof thick layer of sand.

"So, what do you think?" Discord asked the perplexed mare.

Twilight gave the entire setup a final look over before responding. "What kind of game is this supposed to be?"

Discord disappeared in a flash, reappearing a moment later wearing a hoofball jersey with x_x emblazoned on the back next to Twilight. "Chaos Ball, my dear princess." Another flash and Discord was hovering above the playing lanes. "The perfect stress reliever for an overworked princess of Equestria such as yourself that isn't NSFW."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"That's how I pitched it when trying to get Celestia's approval to introduce it to the mass market," Discord said, looking up in remembrance and smiling. "The look on her face was so priceless; I wish I'd had a camera at the time."

"Whaaaaaat?"

Discord furrowed his brows and sighed. "You ponies want me to use my chaos magic for good, right? Well, that's what I'm doing with this." He gestured to the playing lanes below him.

"Well . . ." Twilight looked at the setup, trying to decipher any sort of hostility from its design. When she failed to see any, she glanced back up to Discord. "Is it safe?"

Discord smiled innocently. "Since when has my chaos ever caused any of you ponies physical harm?"

"Well, there was that one ti-"

"GREAT!" Discord snapped his talon, which transported Twilight in front of one of the lanes. He flew down and landed in front of the opposite lane. "Let the game begin!"

Twilight sighed in exasperation and looked across the field to him. "So, how does one play Chaos Ball?" she asked, fear lacing her words.

"It's quite simple, really," Discord replied. He pointed at the checkered area of his lane. "This is called the Impact Zone," he then pointed at the rest of his lane, "while the rest is called the Alley." He snapped his talon, causing a meter high, gray stone block to appear in his Impact Zone. "This is what's called a Minion. Actual Minions are more lively, but this'll serve as a suitable example for this rundown of the gameplay." Another snap of his talon caused a black & red ball about half the stone's height to appear at Twilight's hooves.

Twilight levitated the enormous ball in front of her for examination. Getting a feel for it, she found it to be very similar to a bowling ball texture-wise but was clearly too big to work as one.

"That's what's called the Marble," Discord continued, regaining Twilight's attention. "It acts similar to a bowling ball in that it's used to knock down each player's Minions like pins. Go ahead," he pointed at his Minion, "give it a roll."

Twilight looked at Discord's Minion, then back to the Marble in her telekinesis before setting it onto Discord's Alley. Calling on the earth pony strength she received through ascension, Twilight bucked the Marble with her hind legs down the Alley toward the Minion. The Marble plowed into the stone block, sending it flying up in the air before landing back onto the grass next to the Alley.

The Marble continued its speedy course down the Alley and would've rolled way out into the field had Discord not snapped his talon which summoned a funnel-shaped hole in the ground. The ball traveled down the hole, spiraling around the wall until it eventually fell through the bottom. Discord snapped his talon again, summoning a giant bowling ball return right next to him. After a couple moments of rumbling sounds emanating from inside the machine, the Marble popped out. Discord picked it up and pointed to the concrete hole in the ground next to his Alley.

"That is called the Junkyard, which is where fallen Minions go." He snapped his talon, which caused his junkyard to shift across the ground until it was directly underneath his fallen faux Minion. The gray stone block fell down into the hole where it hit the sandy bottom with a soft thud. Then the Junkyard returned to its original spot.

"Whichever player takes out all of the other's Minions first wins," Discord continued, smiling wryly. "What'd you think? Was it fun?"

"Well," Twilight said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly, "it seems a little too . . ."

Discord raised an inquisitive brow. "Too what?"

". . . violent."

. . .

. . .

. . .

". . . Seriously?"

"You said it yourself; real Minions are lively. Who'd want to play a game where the objective is to strike down innocent . . . statues . . . ?"

Discord suppressed a chortle as Twilight groaned and facehoofed. "I can't believe I just said that."

"Oh, you did," Discord replied, having composed himself. "And to answer your question, I did say it's meant to be a fun way to relieve stress."

Twilight scowled. "I don't need your, or this game's, help for that."

The malicious grin that spread across Discord's face unnerved Twilight, more so than anything else he'd done during their encounter thus far. It was the same grin of an older sibling bearing witness to their younger sibling stealing from the cookie jar and knowing they had the perfect piece of blackmail as a result. It frightened Twilight, quite frankly.

"But you still rolled the Marble, didn't you?" Discord asked, smirking with delight.

"Y-Yes," Twilight stuttered. "So what if I did?"

"Well, you rolled it knowing real Minions are lively." He inspected his paw disinterestedly. "Tell me, what did you envision the Minion as being when you rolled the Marble?"

". . . Pardon?"

Discord sighed. "I knew you'd never willingly attack something that looked innocent, so I used a featureless stone block as the faux Minion. With it, you could project the image of something you'd want to strike down as an incentive to attack." He looked to her. "What I'm asking you is, what was that projection of?"

"You."

Twilight let the word slip through her mouth, but immediately regretted it as she feared what Discord would do to her in retaliation for such an admittance. The draconequus stared at her blankly for a few seconds before, to Twilight's shocked relief, snickering.

"Of course it'd be me." He snapped his talon which summoned another stone block onto his Impact Zone. Unlike the last one which was featureless, this block was shaped to look like Discord the first time he'd been encased in stone. Discord looked to his stone doppelganger and spoke. "Let's show this purple pony princess how age triumphs over beauty, shall we?"

The Minion turned around and winked at its master before resettling its gaze onto Twilight with a vicious scowl that actually sent a shiver down her spine.

"Now then, time to select our Minions." Discord gestured to his stone doppelganger. "We each get ten of the other's choosing, and they can be of anything we want. Since you've already declared your desire to inflict harm upon my oh-so pretty face, you may choose nine more Minions for myself." He gave a wry smile. "So what'll it be, princess?"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought. If she was going to be forced to play Chaos Ball, she should at least make the most of it and take out her stress on things that irked her to no end. After a minute of finalizing her choices, she looked to Discord and replied.

"Here are my choices; a mound of Day Court requests, a lopsided stack of books, a cockatrice, a changeling, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Trixie Lulamoon, Garble, and Pinkie Pie."

Discord blinked. "I get the first nine, but why Pinkie Pie?" he asked. "She's your friend."

"She is, but I still know nothing about how her Pinkie Sense works and it drives me up the wall." She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Could you keep that a secret, please?"

Discord stared blankly for a second before shrugging and nodding his head in agreement. With nine more snaps of his talon, all of Twilight's choices for his Minion army appeared in his Impact Zone. The Minions of Chrysalis, Sombra, Trixie, and Garble joined the Minion Discord in glaring daggers at their opponent. In contrast, the Minion Pinkie Pie waved her hoof and smiled brightly at Twilight, who lightly waved back with her own, nervous, smile. The paper mound and book stack, however, just stood there, not moving in the slightest. Just the sight of so many Day Court requests, statue or not, made Twilight's eye twitch in irritation, made worse by sight of the misaligned stack of precious rectangular prisms of knowledge next to it.

"Now it's my turn to choose your own Minions," Discord said. In rapid succession he snapped his talon ten times, each one producing a Minion for Twilight's Impact Zone. "I think you'll be satisfied with my choices."

Twilight forced her gaze away from the front line of Discord's Minion army and looked to see what hers would be. She quickly identified several of them as ponies she either knew and loved or idolized. There were Minions of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Starswirl the Bearded, Clover the Clever, a neatly stacked pile of books, a grandfather clock and, to Twilight's confusion, what looked like a five-eyed, mini-skirt wearing, winged lizard/squirrel hybrid.

"I call that last one Mark," Discord said. He primed the ball in his paw, taking careful aim so as to not waste his turn.

Twilight sighed and turned once again to her assembled Minions. Discord may have forced her to play Chaos Ball, but getting all riled up over it wouldn't help anyone. Indeed, it'd be better for her to try and enjoy his game instead of complaining about it. Twilight wasn't one to pass down an opportunity to try new things anymore; Nightmare Moon's return saw to that, and Twilight had plenty of great friends as a result. Great friends she'd do anything for and always seek to protect should danger befall them. In fact, even though they weren't her friends per se, having constructs of several of them with her gave the lavender alicorn a warm, uplifting feeling that she fully believed would aid her in the coming bat-

*SMASH*

Twilight watched, spellbound, as the Marble plowed straight into her Minion of the neat book stack. The poor thing flew into the air, spinning around a few times, before landing back onto the Impact Zone with a hard smack. The Marble continued sailing along the ground until it came to rest a couple dozen meters away from Twilight's Alley.

"Score one for me," Discord stated, voice full of pride. With a snap of his talon, he moved her Junkyard underneath the fallen Minion, where it fell unceremoniously to the sandy bottom with a soft thud, before returning to its designated spot. Discord then turned to Twilight, smirking heavily. "Your move."

Twilight said nothing in response; she merely stood there, staring where her Minion used to be, mouth agape in shock. Discord frowned. "Uh, Sparkplug, are you alright?"

Suddenly, a magenta aura surrounded the Marble, and it floated over to the lavender princess. She turned to face Discord, who cringed at the fiery gaze she gave him.

"Uh, Twilight," Discord gulped, "want me to put out that fire?"

Twilight responded with naught but three words that would've made a certain alabaster unicorn proud.

"IT. IS. ON."