OK so maybe I should introduce myself, and before you say 'oh god, it's one of those self narrated stories' I don't give a fuck. This is my story and i'm sticking to it! Anyway my names Bramley Core, what do you mean that's a stupid name? It's mine and I chose it! But for reference I will use my previous name John. Yes and if you hadn't noticed already, i'm a pony well actually a human turned pony but that will be explained later on.

The purpose of my story is to explain how I ended up in this forgive and forget land called Equestria and how I made a new life for myself. Hey! It wasn't like I never thought of getting back to my real home, but after 3 years of trying; I thought fuck it and gave up. The rulers of the land helped me but even they saw a lost cause and I excepted it!

I think I should start at the beginning, it began with the most ordinary day you can ever think of; except I was going to be flinging myself to my doom.

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Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...

Yep we all know that sound, the most dreaded thing we always hear on the days we least want it too. But then we only have ourselves to blame as we set the damn thing in the first place.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

My hand flies out of my bed covers franticly searching the nearby bedside table for the devils sound. When my fingers grasp the vibrating object I ball up my hand and hit the fabled button that brings silence and bliss.

“Ugh!” Is the first sound I mutter as my tired head leaves the safety of my pillow. I look to the clock I just abused in order for it to shut up. “7 am! What the hell!” I say planting my head back into the soft embrace of my bed. “Why did I agree to this trip? What brain injury did I sustain to say yes when my friends ask me to go?” I question myself.

Thinking that I need air to exist, I lift up my head taking deep breaths before yawning and swinging myself out of bed. I stretch my back while lifting my arms straight up, feeling several bones pop I look to my left. Upon seeing the picture of me and my friends last year at Disney Land, I smiled. They maybe the most fucked up group of friends you could ever meet, but they were mine and for them to put up with me. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Ring...Ring...Ring...

I look over to the chest of drawers as my phone starts to ring, followed by the vibrating function making it fall on the floor. 'I wonder who that could be?' I think to myself. Upon walking over and picking up the phone I see Derek's number with a thumbnail picture of him underneath giving a thumbs up. I press the green pick up button.

“Hey Derek, what's up?” I say.

“Excited bro?” Comes the reply.

“Depends, will this kill me or not?”

“Don't be such a pussy! This trip is going to be awesome!” Derek states. “Anyway i'm just letting you know a slight change of plans, Dave and Jackie will meet us at the airfield.”

“Dave and Jackie huh? Thought they hated each other?” I say letting out a short laugh.

“Yeah but apparently according to Claire, all that hostility was just pent up sexual frustration or some shit!” Derek explains.

“Well OK! So I’ll see you at the airfield then?” I ask.

“Yeah, see you there mate!”

“See yah!” I drop down the phone before walking to my shower room and starting the shower. After washing off the grime of doing feck all while sleeping, I grabbed a quick breakfast before leaving and hopping into my car. Adjusting my mirrors took longer than usual, maybe it's because I was really nervous.

The ride to the airfield took an hour and a half, but I wasn't bored not with an ipod full of acdc, queen, G'N'R; it was all good. I pulled into the main car park area and spotted Derek standing by his pickup truck. When I got out of my car he gave me a small but belated greeting.

“Hey, John.”

“Hey Derek, so where is everybody?” I ask, considering our vehicles were the only one's in the car park.

“Claire's using the bathroom, but Dave and Jackie haven't arrived yet.” Derek replies.

“Um, so what are we doing exactly? Please tell me it's not flying lessons!”

“Nah! But you will be flying,” Derek says with a smirk.

Before a can respond I feel two arms wrap around my chest, I look back to see Claire holding me.

“So you came?” She asks me before looking to Derek. “See and you said he wouldn't come.” Derek just gives her a shrug keeping the small smile on his face.

“Are you going to let me go now?” I ask, my face turning a certain shade of colour reserved for apples and a certain vegetable.

“Aww! I thought we looked cute together!” Claire states resting her head on my shoulders. That did not help my facial situation.

I looked to Derek for help, but all he made was a gesture of 'you look so cute'. Thanks Derek was all I could think glaring daggers at him to which he just laughed. Claire though suddenly lets me go and stands next to Derek.

You know it wasn't until now I realised just how damn sexy Claire was, I mean I know she was hot but today the chequered shirt tied in the middle coupled with the white under vest and denim hot pants really made my mind say 'Damn girl!'

“Like what you see?” Claire asks pointing to herself. It was at that point I noticed I was staring.

“No! I mean...Dammit!” I say, looking away. My face still red. Claire and Derek both start to laugh as another car pulls up beside us.

“Well shit! Bout time!” Derek shouts putting out the cigarette I didn't even realise he lit.

“Sorry guys!” My other friend Dave states as he and Jackie run up to us.

Now Dave and Jackie compared to the rest of us they were normal, Dave was an assistant manager at the store near where he lived and Jackie was a student studying art and design. I can tell you one thing though Jackies art was top notch, even I could tell she was a pro.

“So are we ready to do this!” Derek says raising a fist.

“Do we have too?” I moan.

“Oh come on you wuss, you'll love it!” Claire states.

I was always apprehensive when I was left out of the loop during there day trip planning, but hey they did pick some good things. Until I saw exactly what we would be doing.

“Oh fuck no!” I shout.

“Come on! It will be fun!” Derek says slapping me on the back before running to the men working on the small and flimsy plane.

“Guys! Seriously, I don't do heights OK!” My heart had started to beat a little faster now. “You do remember that flight to New York, the plane crew had to almost sedate me after I looked out the window.”

“Yeah that was funny as fuck!” Derek says catching my comment as he returned, “OK the pilot says they have some last minute work to finish; so in the mean time we should suit up.”

“I have a really bad feeling about this!” I say as we all head to the back of the hanger.

20 minutes later...

“Man! Why do they make these suits so tight!” I say fiddling with the straps.

“It's all about wind friction,” Dave states. “If it was baggy you'll be flapping around like some plastic bag.”

“Thanks for the image!” I reply shooting him a glare.

Derek comes walking back over as the planes engine roars to life, it was that action which I could almost feel a panic attack starting.

“Come on!” Claire shouts grabbing me and pulling me towards the plane.

“OK you guys ready?” The pilot shouts after we all bundle in.

“Yeah!” Everyone but me shouts giving thumbs up.

The plane itself was unremarkable even inside, there were no seats just hard metal floor. The only entrance was a large sliding door Derek secured as he climbed in last, following the pilots instruction. I closed my eye's and thought of happy thoughts as I felt the plane lift off. I was happily thinking of the time I played a prank on Derek in high school when I felt an arm nudge my side. I open my eye's to see Claire smiling at me.

“Hey your doing fine! Just relax!”

“Have you done this before!?” I ask.

“Nope but I have been in that wind machine that simulates skydiving!” Claire replies.

“Oh great that really helps my confidence!”

“OK two minutes to drop, better get ready!” The pilot shouts back as his co-pilot steps out of his chair and checks our straps and suits. The co-pilot gives his thumbs up to the pilot.

OK, so far this is a harrowing experience for me yet I’ve now just noticed that I am going to have to jump out of a plane; go me! My heart and lungs almost cease up as the co-pilot secures himself to the plane floor, before opening the sliding door. That's when it hit me, the wind rushes past my head blocking out all forms of sound. I look out the door only for my body to freeze.

“Holy shit!” Is all that leaves my mouth.

Derek insists on going first so he crouch walks to the door and puts on his googles. After making sure his parachute is tight and secure he turn to us and gives the OK hand gesture. What happened next I almost screamed, he lets go of the plane and jumps out. I mean he actually jumped out, next Claire approached the door. However before she jumped she turned to me and without warning, she kissed me! My whole mind at that moment exploded as Claire smiles and follows Derek.

“Hey you alright kid!?” the co-pilot shouts.

“Y-Yeah!” I reply rubbing my mouth.

“Hey your next!” Dave shouts pushing me to the door, I wasn't liking what I was seeing. “Come on! Jump already!

I was about to retort when Dave and Jackie just push me out, the last thing anyone heard was me falling away and screaming, “fuck you guyyyyyyyyys!”

At first I closed my eye's as I felt my body falling, but after a while things seem to calm down. I guess I reached that terminal velocity they mention in school. I look around and spot Derek and Claire doing some sort of synchronised air ballet. I wave to them as they spot me and fly over. Derek reached me first as he gives me the OK gesture again and I return it. Then I felt funny all of a sudden, like when you stand up too quick you get that head rush followed by a short spell of dizziness. Claire spots me shaking my head and she grabs me.

“Are you all right!?” She shouts I can barely hear her.

“No! I'm feeling light headed and dizzy!” I shout back.

Claire turns to Derek and gives him a gesture of her finger revolving her head, probably the sign of dizziness when you can't talk. That however is not what scared me next as clear as day I heard a voice, almost as if it was coming from far away.

“That's it sister you almost have it!”

I look around thinking 'what the hell was that?' My eye's lock to Claire as she starts to get worried. She tells me my eye's went glazed for a few seconds as she signs to Derek that my symptoms are getting worse. Then that voice happens again but this time it was followed by a flash of light.

“Keep going almost there!”

My eye's fill with bright spots, the kind you get when you look at the sun or a light too long. My head starts to pound as I grab it in pain. Funny thing was all I could think about was my pounding head not the fact I was hurtling towards the ground at over two hundred miles an hour. The flashes of light got bright and now started to come over in waves and patterns. It was beautiful if I was not shitting myself at this point.

The lights started to mould together and form long streaks passing by me. It reminded me of back to the future when the delorean achieved time speed. My thoughts were interrupted as the lights seem to engulf me and the voice spoke up again, this time though the voice was softer.

“Sister! Somethings wrong! I can feel a presence!”

The light now fully surrounds me, time seems to slow down as with a sound that resembled a sonic boom; the sky changes and becomes brighter and more clear. The ground below me changed too, a large expanse of forest stretched out from a long river winding through it. I try to take in as much as I could before I realised I was heading for a small town, the houses though looked really rustic as if I went back to medieval times. One building did capture my attention as I seemed to be heading towards it, It was a giant tree. I quickly gathered my thoughts and grabbed the release cord for my parachute; only a little too late. I slowed down but not enough to warrant a smooth landing but it wasn't the floor it hit first.

The next thing I knew was my feet and ass going straight through a window and I hit something soft which followed me on my merry tumble. I came to a stop as my legs hurt like hell, rubbing my head I found I was lying on my back but what I saw next scared the living crap out of me. A lizard was lying on my chest rubbing it's own head, I froze thinking back to Jurassic Park and that it's sight was based on movement. Much to my displeasure that was not the case. The lizard thing opened it's eye's and looked at me, a few seconds passed before both of us screamed.

“Ahhhhh! What the Fuck!! I shouted out loud, springing to my feet; the pain in my legs taking a back seat. “Don't eat me!” I found myself saying, why? Fuck knows maybe my brain had finally broken down and I was dead or dreaming. What the lizard thing did next forced me even more into the wall I was hugging.

“Twilight! Help!” It shouted.

The next thing I knew a door next to me flew open and a horse! A fecking horse! Trotted inside up to the lizard thing and spoke! It fucking spoke!

“Spike! What's all the racket i'm trying to read!” The horse thing looks up to the broken window. “Spike! Have you been practising your flame again?”

The lizard said nothing as I just stood there with a look of horror. Mean while the horse had approached the window and found my shredded parachute hanging from it.

“Spike! What is thi-” The horse turns and sees me hugging the far wall, right by the door she had just come from. The horse drops my parachute and jumps down landing between me and the lizard thing. “Spike get behind me! Who are you what do you want?” The horse asks me.

However to respond all I could do was splutter some incoherent babble of words while sliding to my butt and passing out.

I have no idea how long I was out, but however long it was I was now tied to a chair with rope and my clothes apart from my under shirt and underwear were missing.

“What the fuck! Where am I?” I shout, getting no answer. I do hear talking coming from another room beyond a doorway in front of me.

“What is it?”

“I don't know!”

“What me to hurt it a little?” I was now scared of meeting whoever said that. But, it? The voice called me it?

“No! We don't know where it came from hurting it might make it mad!” Mad of course it would make me mad, any person being hit would be pissed off.

“Hey! Who's out there!?” I finally shout. Though I think I heard a small 'eep' or sound that someone would make when startled.

The door to the room slowly opens revealing six horses all different colours, I do however spot the one from earlier.

“Hey! Hey! Look i'm sorry about the window, I’ll pay for it just please let me go!” I cry out, I really sound pathetic.

“We aren’t letting you go until we git some answers,” A horse with blond 'mane' And orange body states.

I was really panicking now, I started to sweat. The six horses surrounded me and sat down, wait! was this some kind of ritual? Oh no, their going to sacrifice me to their horse god or something, thanks Derek really good fecking trip this turned out to be. But if there's any man who values his manliness look away now, because the next thing I did really took mine away.

“Just kill me now! Sacrifice me to your god and get it over with!” I shout before breaking down and bawling like a kid. Now I was really being pathetic.