Chapter 11: Forward

<~Old Mormon Fort, Rarity’s POV~>

It had been two days since my spat with Jason and the revelation of my… condition. Since then, I had turned over my knife and sniper rifles over to my friends.

As a ghoul on the path of going feral, I was slated as ‘unfit for duty,’ and discharged from the NCR as a Section 8. That being a very formal and nice way of putting on paperwork that I was crazy.

I just wondered if the beast clawing at my thoughts, begging for me to kill, was what allowed me to do what I did with such efficiency. The little thing making me the right tool for the job.

I used to be a upcoming designer of fabulous fashion, now I knew the exact spot to shoot someone so they would bleed out slowly in excruciating pain.

Huh, funny. When sitting alone in a tent, the barrel of a pistol feels real nice pressed under your jaw. The chill of cold steel on flesh paired with the rush of having a loaded gun ready to end it all. It gave me a nearly entirely unexplainable sensation.

In the best words I could find… it felt like the feeling of a hot shower mixed with a static jolt, all tied together with ice cold metal.

*click*

And I live yet another day.

Today, I had decided to take my pistol - the only weapon I kept - and load it with a single .45-70 bullet. Having only five chambers decreased my chances of living after spinning the cylinder, letting luck decide if the bullet is in the right chamber when I pull the trigger.

Luck… that was what dictated my life in that point of time. The unseeable force of the universe keeping my sanity intact until it decided to run out.

But had my luck already run out when I became this abomination of shredded flesh and beauty?

Opening the cylinder of the ranger sequoia, I was brought to tears by the amount of luck I still had.

A nice little dot was stamped on the primer, the bullet was a dud. If it wasn’t, my brains would be paste by now, splattered on the walls of the tent I shared with no one.

The doctors couldn’t stick something like me in the presence of two pregnant women.

At least my friends had the courtesy of keeping me informed while I was in solitude.

Twilight was busy searching for a way to increase the strength of her gauntlet back in Big Mountain. It wasn’t strong enough for anything more than telekinesis and to conjure a knight-style shield.

Jamie had to do something with a girl named Veronica. Something about making a treaty between the Brotherhood of Steel and the NCR.

Fluttershy and Applejack shared the same tent as each other, far away from this monster.

Pinkie and Rainbow were the only two that really had anything to do with me… and that was saying a lot. All Rainbow did was come in, try and fail to cheer me up, then try and fail at not staring at the scars that marred my face.

Pinkie tried her hardest as well, but this black-hole of depression I found myself in had killed her mood quickly.

Fishing a new round out the pocket of my jeans, I loaded a new bullet, ready to try and test how much luck I had left tomorrow.

Replacing my pistol in the holster on my hip, I got up from the seat I was on and laid back in bed, staring up at the top bunk above me like it was an infinite void.

The psychiatrists back home say the next stage is accepting that I’m going crazy… I had already been in denial, angry, tried bargaining to a higher power, now depressed enough to even try and take my own life.

Lets just get acceptance over with so I can die insane. I thought.

I am slowly losing my fucking mind.

There, I thought it, can I die now?

At times, my anger is heightened to extreme levels, I get antsy and/or angry around others. I see people and get this nagging urge to just rip, tear, shred, kill, maim, mutilate, destroy, bite, eat, consume, hungry!

My stomach growled.

I had begun to develop a craving for meat shortly after the Dam. Resisting the urge only made it stronger, like a rabid dog was kicking and thrashing in my gut, demanding to be fed.

I guess my focus on saving Fluttershy and Applejack, while destroying the Legion, was keeping my condition at a slow pace. Something to focus on.

Now that those conflicts were resolved, I was deteriorating rapidly, like a plant given water mixed with bleach. I knew from the time Sweetie had once tried to get her gardening cutie mark, the amount of dead flowers she accumulated was astonishing.

Thinking of Sweetie only made me worse. Of course, it was something to focus on, but it was always negative.

How would she react to me? The savage killer from the Divide with half a face; an abhorrent mix of wasteland and pony. If only I had Dad’s two headed bit. I thought in self loathing as I stared at the tent’s ceiling

He would probably try and kill me protecting Sweetie. I wouldn’t blame him. Mom would try too.

They always were overprotective of Sweetie, no doubt due to her innate ability to set things on fire. How does one even burn juice?

Juice juice juice, the feral ghoul in me is soon to be loose.

Put a bullet in my head, leave me on the sidewalk dead.

Put me down with a loaded gun, leave my body and bones to bleach in the sun.

Make sure the bullet hits between my eyes, just to make sure this undead terror dies.

“Meirda. Cuando Jamie dijo que estaba mal parada, él no estaba bromeando,” I heard a rough, male voice comment.

Turning my head with a gasp, I saw another ghoul in a mechanic jumpsuit, standing by the flap I didn’t see him open. Looking back up at the top bunk, shaking my head slowly, I simply replied, “Sí.”

I may have said that poem aloud.

Pinkie taught me Mexicolt a while back. He had said, ‘Shit, when Jamie told me she was bad off, he wasn’t kidding.’

“Jamie told me there was a ghoul in need of a little help. When I heard that poem, wow,” Despite the roughness of his voice, he spoke with this certain flair that made his speech an enjoyable thing to listen too. Like a wise storyteller who has seen the very corners of the world.

I nodded, understanding that a ghoul would know the graveness of the current predicament, “Two days ago I finally figured, without a doubt, I’m turning feral,” my voice was shaky, I was going to start crying. When that happens, it quickly turns into pure anger.

“Sadly, it’s a possibility that all ghouls face. I’ve been a ghoul for over two-hundred years, so I’ve seen my share turn.”

I leaned up in bed, “Really? How do you keep on living seeing it happen, knowing that you could one day lose it all?” I shook my head quickly, “Sorry… my mood has darkened even more over the past few days.”

“That’s okay, miss. I keep on living since I have a purpose, a goal in life. I’m a mechanic, and I fix every busted piece of junk I can find. Keeps my mind occupied.”

I understood exactly what he meant, and since he was a ghoul with knowledge of the subject, I felt like I should get everything off my chest at once, “I succeeded in my goals two days ago. Get my friends back and destroy the Legion. In the two days since, I feel myself slipping faster and faster… I just don’t know how much longer I can last.”

“Miss…” He paused, not getting my name beforehand, “Your goal was destruction. I’m no psychologist, but that seems detrimental towards staving off violence.”

That scored a chuckle from me, “Someone wise once said, ‘Before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves,’ ” I said.

“That is a quote by Confucius, a famous philosopher. Haven't heard a quote from him since before the war,” He smiled his cracked, dry lips before frowning again, “I guess you need to find something to do to keep your mind distracted. I repair nearly every busted machine I find, an impossible task if you ask me since they’re prone to break again.”

“An impossible task to keep you forever occupied,” I pondered aloud, tapping my chin with a finger “That actually makes perfect sense.”

He crossed his arms and smiled wide enough to see relatively white teeth before asking, “So, any Ideas? I doubt you want to grow old and creaky working on pre-war tech.”

A light bulb flashed over my head, “Oh my gosh… I never thought of it.”

I sprung up from the bed, a fresh look on life from just a short conversation.

“What is it, miss?” The ghoul asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m a fashion designer damnit! I’m going to make clothes for all the people of the Wasteland!” I quickly pulled my visitor into a hug, causing both of us to stumble back outside but not fall, and in the excitement of the moment… I may have went a little overdramatic… and kissed him on the lips, for around a minute.

<>~<Rainbow Dash’s PoV>~<>

Nolan and I just watched Rarity’s mood do a complete one-eighty turn before making out with the ghoul that Jamie had decided could help her.

Jamie, sitting on a chair next to us, was watching curiously at the pair along with Veronica. Both of them had finished presiding over the treaty and arrived a short while ago with Raul, the ghoul Jamie had brought.

Pinkie watched with a scrunched expression as her new dog, Chrome Pie, wagged his tail from a continuous head scratch from his owner.

Fluttershy and Applejack were getting much needed rest in bed as Jason watched over them. AJ and Flutters were going to spend the entirety of their pregnancy here if need be, since pregnant women made easy targets for robbers; too worried about keeping their unborn safe rather then fighting back.

The two ghouls broke the kiss and I watched Rarity realize what just went down. Her and Raul’s expressions made Nolan and me laugh our asses off.

My face twisted into a smirk as I watched Rarity clam up. Turning my head to Nolan I said, “I betcha a solid hundred dollars that those two end up fucking.”

I saw Nolan tense in his uniform, “Yeah, I rather chop my own bloody hands off and run through a field of Deathclaws than take that bet. Rarity still scares the shit out of me. Also, why did we let her keep the pistol?”

I answered his question, “Everyone needs to be armed, a gun can run out of ammo and is loud as hell. If Rarity wanted, she could have started cutting throats as we slept.”

Nolan paled slightly at the thought, swallowed, and nodded.

I hated to say that, but I saw the gleam in her eye, the seriousness in her voice as she held Jason with a knife to his throat.

The Wasteland had changed all of us. I was no longer stationed at the Dam, but here in Freeside as guards for the Followers. I still slept only a few hours as well as keeping to the routine I had drilled into my head.

Applejack and Fluttershy were obviously preggers from a man who technically used to own them like they were property. I wasn’t sure how that was going to work out. Is polygamy even legal, or was it just Shy that loved him?

Twilight had killed, no doubt she’s due for a sudden revelation and a panic attack. We all killed others here. But with her past examples of handling certain situations, she’d probably seize up all brain activity and babble about Celestia sending her to the sun.

Pinkie seemed normal, like it never even happened, which I don’t think is a good thing with how she gets, but I couldn’t prove she was being affected by it. And that scared me.

And of course, Rarity. When she knew without a doubt what was wrong with her, she practically begged us to make sure to end her if she turned.

I had to agree. Seeing all the fear and desperation in her eyes after how calm she was during the battle was enough to shake me to the core, even worse than Pinkie’s calmness towards the whole ordeal.

Wonder how Twilight’s doing in her little quest.

<>~<Dr. Mobius’ Lair, one day prior>~<>

“So that’s it?” Twilight questioned as she crossed her arms at the floating brain in a jar known as the ‘Nefarious Dr. Mobius’ , or ‘Mr. Big Brain’ back in his high school days.

“That’s right,” The elder scientist remarked, moving his broken monitor eye to the left as he did so, “All you need to boost the strength of the thaumic gauntlet are a few rare gems found rather conveniently in Zion National Park. We never could find out why they only developed there.”

Rolling her eyes at the utter and illogical buffoonery of the scientists here, Twilight asked, “So these gemstones, what do they look like?”

Twilight could see Dr. Mobius thinking heavily, grunting as smoke wafted from his metal body while sparks flew out random slots.

Twilight swore she heard the ding of a diner bell, “Onyx, definitely looks like onyx with a hint of opal. A large vein was known to inhabit the far end of the park. We didn’t have the ability to mine a national park and all the samples we had were used up.”

Nodding, Twilight exited the building before pulling out a detonator-esk device, pressing the trigger to teleport herself back to the Mojave.

In an instant, she was standing beside a crashed satellite in the middle of an drive-in theater. Turning her head, Twilight noticed the town of Nipton in the distance. Burnt to a shell of its former glory, if the men she knew who once visited there were telling the truth, it was quite the place.

‘More like a booze-filled, whore den,’ Twilight thought grimly as she started making her way back to Freeside.

<>~<Old Mormon Fort, Rarity’s PoV>~<>

I couldn’t believe how much my life was turned around near instantly by a single talk with Mr. Raul Alfonso Tejada. His words of wisdom had surely saved me from slipping down a dark hole no ghoul has ever returned from.

All I needed was a needle, some cloth, and a generous amount of thread.

I knew all new creations would have to be hand made since sewing machines seem to be completely… busted.

“Raul,” I said in a chipper singsong. Or I would have, of not for my throat letting out a raspy hiss.

“Yeah, miss,” He kindly replied, smiling.

I crossed my arms before tossing my hair with a flick of my hand, “Would you be a dear for me and see if you can find a sewing machine?”

I never knew skin that dry could turn red from embarrassment, “Uhh, sure, miss. I know exactly where I can get one. Probably works too.”

I nodded as he ran off. Even with almost half my face shredded down to muscle, a flick of my hair bends the stallions, well men now, to my will.

<>~<Rainbow’s PoV>~<>

I facepalmed as I watched Rarity turn Raul into her new Spike. Seriously, she can be a tad manipulative.

Tired of watching her make someone twenty times her age oogle over her - pretty gross when I thought about it - I tapped Nolan on his shoulder and motioned with my head towards AJ and Fluttershy’s tent before walking there.

We both entered at the same time, and my gaze fell upon Applejack who was getting up whereas Fluttershy was contempt to sleep on her back.

Applejack looked at us as she stood up from the bed, “Howdy, I heard Rarity makin’ a ruckus and decided to stay clear.”

I laughed, making Fluttershy’s eyes dart open with a gasp. I turned to see if she was alright, but Jason had quickly beat me to comforting her.

Turning back to Applejack I lowered my voice, “Jamie brought a new ghoul named Raul. Not even ten minutes with him and Rarity’s practically dancing with energy.”

I swore I heard Fluttershy let out a very, very, very quiet ‘Yay’. But at times, mice could make more noise than her, so I wasn’t entirely sure.

Applejack, however, has no objections to raising her voice, “Woo-wee. I can say without a doubt that is the greatest news I’ve heard about her. Now to make my mood even better, tell me that Twilight is back.”

“Twilight is back,” I lied just because I could.

She nearly slapped her knee with a hand before catching on, “Consarnit, you definitely lied. Didn’t ya?”

In a near perfect imitation of her older brother, I gave a hardy, “Eeyup.”

Her expression looked to be on the border of mad and completely pissed, she shook her head, “Please don’t do that,” Her expression and tone changed to nostalgic and sad, “I haven’t seen mah family in months.”

I tensed. Why am I so damn insensitive all the time?

“Sorry, AJ. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I apologized quickly, trying to mend the broken fence as AJ would put it.

Applejack shook her head, a single tear in her eye, “I accept your apology. I’ve just had them on my mind all the time. How would they react tah all of this?” She questioned, motioning her hand over her large belly.

And with no answer to give her, an awkward silence fell upon us for a good twenty seconds.

Nolan broke it, “So, you two are pregnant?” he said with all the eloquence and grace of a crashing wagon.

Applejack’s face took on a straight-faced look, “I think we established that two days ago.”

I turned my gaze quickly to Fluttershy when she giggled. Jason had flicked her nose with a finger and it must have amused her or something.

Turning my gaze back to Applejack, I decided to address the elephant in the room, “How are you three working this out?”

Applejack’s face screwed into one of curiosity and confusion, “Say what now?”

I rolled my eyes on account of having to practically draw out the explanation in crayon for her, “You know, both of you two are pregnant, with his children.”

Her face twisted into a scowl and venom laced her words, “That’s mighty personal, Dash.”

To my surprise, Jason backed me up, “She’s right, the children are definitely mine. It was sheer luck that Orion seemed to be impotent. But we’ve been putting this talk off since we learned they were pregnant.” He then addressed AJ and Fluttershy, “Both of you explained you’re not from this world, so what will happen when you leave and return to your old bodies?”

He shook his head, his voice growing concerned as his breathing quickened, “What if I can’t go through to your world. I don’t want to leave the two of them fatherless. And what if returning kills them? You said all of you were knocked unconscious after getting sucked here for some reason, probably from pain due to you bodies changing form. The stress could kill them."

I saw both Fluttershy and Applejack blanch milk-white. Even I paled slightly. We all knew he was right, and the deaths of two unborn children would have been on our heads since we never had considered the fact.

That would complicate things.

<>~<>~<>

Well, this bucking complicates things. Twilight thought.

She was nearing the gates of Freeside, shortly before everybody’s favorite junkie sadists decide to jump her. However, it was only five of them, all armed with pool sticks.

A piece of cake, Twilight thought, Hopefully I don’t have to kill them.

Twilight splayed her hand, enveloping it with the soft lavender glow akin to her old unicorn magic. From body language, she could tell the one on the far right was ready to attack first.

He conveniently tripped and she may or may not have helped him do it.

Seeing their friend’s feet trip on purple air, they all hesitated, seeing that they were dealing with someone out of their league.

However, that didn’t stop them for long; the one Twilight tripped was enraged and quickly sprung back up, prompting the others to attack as well.

Twilight conjured a purple shield in the shape of a large rectangle just in front of her arm and pulled out the nine millimeter pistol she carried. Leveling the shield, she aimed the gun around the transparent purple wall.

She wasn’t fast enough, however, and a chem fueled rage blow struck the shield, shattering both it and the stick like glass.

She felt another strike the back of my head, and her vision swam and she felt blood leaking onto her scalp. With no other options coming to her dazed mind, Twilight began blindly firing into the five Fiends surrounding her as her vision slowly began to clear.

The Fiends didn’t even attempt to dodge; their drug addled minds muddling their sense of self preservation.

When Twilight’s vision fully cleared, two of the Fiends were down, clutching their chests as blood seeped out holes.

Twilight suddenly registered a quick moving blur and barely managed to duck under a pool stick aimed for her head. Luck was on Twilight’s side as the Fiend that swung ended up hitting a Fiend coming up behind Twilight to attempt to grab her. When the wooden stick made contact with the other Fiend, Twilight swore she heard teeth shatter as he fell with a heavy thump.

She quickly fired into the one in front of her, making sure it would be so that he would die quickly and painlessly.

Twilight’s then heard movement behind her, and spun on a heel to see a Fiend. She tried to fire her gun, but was rewarded with a loud crunch and snap of metal.

The gun broke, giving the Fiend enough time to drive a switchblade into Twilight’s leg. She could feel with perfect clarity as the knife-tip struck her leg and could tell it was close to something important. The wound quickly soaked the Fiend’s hand in her blood as he smiled with sick glee.

Twilight heard gunshots before her leg buckled under the pressures of weight and pain.

Why didn’t I wear my power armor? Twilight thought before she blacked out.

<>~<>~<>

A collection of doctors scrambled around the girl that was just brought in by the Kings. She took a knife to the hip and was bleeding quite badly from a partially cut artery.

Arcade frantically working with the wound as blood stained his hands. The girl was unconscious, a good thing since she would likely be thrashing around right about now. Arcade counted his lucky stars that the knife didn’t cut the artery completely, and wondered why it hadn’t tore apart yet. He couldn’t really ponder it at that moment, as it was a matter of stopping the bleeding and closing the wound.

The rainbow haired NCR trooper, her boyfriend, and others were watching in horror as Jamie helped him tend to the wounded girl.

He said her name was Twilight Sparkle, something Arcade still considered tribal in origin. Her name, however, didn’t matter. All that did matter was getting Follower Jamie to focus not on her information, but saving her life.

“She’s bleeding badly, but she will be fine as long as you focus, Jamie. You’re a Follower, use all the medical knowledge you have crammed into that skull of yours.”

That was all that needed to be said to reestablish Jamie’s focus. With nothing but stone-cold determination on his face, Jamie worked all the medical knowledge towards saving Twilight’s life.

<~Twilight’s POV, a few hours later~>

I opened my eyes then quickly clenched them shut, pain shooting through my leg as I silently yelled through clenched teeth, I felt weak for some reason.

Then I remembered getting stabbed and falling in the dirt.

I opened my eyes slowly and saw a bunk over my head. I turned my gaze to see Jamie and instantly realized his hands covered in a few specks of dried blood. My blood.

I smiled weakly, “You have got to quit playing doctor on me.”

He jerked in surprise, probably from my words bringing him out of a deep thinking session.

“Thank God you’re alright. You lost a lot of blood; I thought I had lost you.”

“I’m an alicorn back in Equestria,” I tried sitting up but pain originating from my leg rendered my options to just laying down, “Killing us takes effort. My sister-in-law survived alone in a cave with no food and little water for days, and she was still strong enough to repel the Changelings with my brother.”

I gave a huge smirk, “Craziest. Wedding. Ever.”

Jamie laughed and patted my shoulder, “Get some rest, you need it after that injury,” with that, he stood up and walked out the tent. I nodded to him as he left before turning my head to the bunk above me. I closed my eyes, the Fiend’s sadistic smile and Legionaries greeted my closed lids.

I quickly opened my eyes, a lone thought on my mind, ‘I can’t throw these people to the timberwolves.’ From that thought I made a vow then and there that upon making it back to Equestria, I would get help for this world.

After making the vow my friends came in to see me; Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, everyone. Jamie, Jason, and Raul - who seemed like he was sweating from exhaustion - were also with them. In other words, the little tent was packed.

“Hello,” I smiled and waved a hand, not leaning up in case it would disturb the already excruciatingly painful knife wound.

Applejack quickly replied with a, “Howdy,” followed by hellos from everyone else. I still couldn’t believe that looking at my friends, I couldn’t recognize them as the ponies I used to know. We all had changed to adapt to this world. Would Celestia even let us back, especially after I had ended many lives at the Dam?

I cringed, remembering holding the grenade in front of the Legionaries face and watching his reaction before it exploded. Couldn’t we have just talked it out with the Legion, made treaties or something?

I heard Rainbow’s voice, “Dude, you’re panicking. Get a grip.”

That knocked me out of my thoughts allowing me to see them all patiently waiting for me to tell them the fruits of my endeavor. I looked to Jamie, smiled, and told what I had learned, “We need to head to Zion Valley to acquire a small amount of rare gems that are a cross between opal and onyx.”

Jamie nodded, “Zion it is then, but there is a slightly major problem. You’re leg is too injured to walk on, Applejack and Fluttershy are pregnant, I need to help resolve conflicts with the NCR taking control, Rainbow is stationed here – you and Pinkie are actually AWOL, Twilight, and no offense, but Rarity needs to stay here. That only leaves…”

Everyone in the room dropped a shade of color; everyone except the mare in question… Pinkamena Diane Pie.

“I’m not leaving you guys here alone,” Pinkie protested. When she made that statement, I swore I heard a record scratch, “Rarity and Raul can go. She has the most experience finding gems, and a hike through a peaceful valley might actually do her some good.”

I swore it wasn’t just me, but I was pretty sure I heard Pinkie make logical sense just then.

Rarity faked coughed to grab everyone’s attention, “Then I guess I shall need a map and directions.”