Not only are horse bridles uncomfortable, slightly arousing, and leave a copper taste in your mouth, but they’re also damn near impossible to take off. Well, at least if you’re the one wearing one, I found out.

Come on, come on, almost there! My face feels like it’s about to be torn clean off, but I can’t stop now. I’ve got to get out! This can’t be happening to me! Not me! I feel my hindquarters ache, I feel myself breathing stale air into my lungs, and there’s a hefty musk clawing its way into my body from every possible direction. I want to cry because it’s true, but it’s fucking impossible!

I’m stuck in a stable, and I’m a motherfucking pony!

I tug harder at the bridle I found strapped tightly to my mouth when I woke up on the floor of a dirty stall. Kind of ironic that I was the one who was supposed to clean it in the first place, but hell, I think the bottom layer of dirt on the ground is the least of my worries. There’s a commotion outside, and I can hear a group of people asking some pretty interesting questions.

“What the hell was that thing!?”

“Did you see the size of its eyes?!”

“Eyes? Forget the eyes! I think I heard it talking!”

I can hear a few recognizable voices giving out some comforting advice. More likely, they’re trying to perform damage control by convincing those people that they’re all crazy, and I’m just a regular, dumb ol’ horse. And I can’t help but think they’re right. I am pretty stupid. And this bridle isn’t exactly helping me feel all that intelligent, especially since it’s not exactly the easiest thing to speak with. It’s actually damn near impossible to say anything coherent. Words, at least. I can whinny and neigh, I found out.

How the hell did I get myself into all this? All I remember was going to sleep and waking up with hooves. Four incredibly pastel colored hooves and a matching mane to boot. And I didn’t remember having a pussy either… but that one, as it turns out, wasn’t quite so bad as I thought it was going to be.

My mind wanders to my little bodily exploration yesterday on Brian’s bed. You know, I thought clopping was pretty awesome before, but throw in a pair of hooves and a slit to rub them against, and you’re getting the real clopping experience. It almost cushioned the blow of waking up as a pony…

Almost.

I remember seeing the note on my bed. Discord. He was behind all of this, that dirty, no good… whatever the hell he is. And now that I’m really thinking about it, I remember something that happened a few nights ago. It’s all a bit fuzzy. I can only recall a few things, like a contract and a deadline. Going somewhere South? And something about Natalie Portman giving me a blow job…

God, I was drunk.

Come on, come on! Get off of me you stupid piece of shit! I tug and tug, holding the reins down with a hoof while I pull with my neck. It’s slipping a little bit at a time, and it feels like a huge suction cup is sucking my lips into a vacuum. Almost there… come on…

Click!

The sound of metal clanging against wood encapsulated the area. Oh thank god, it’s off! I fall to the floor and begin breathing heavily at having overexerted myself. Man, I used to think that using a ball gag in the bedroom was a pretty hot idea, but this… this is fucking insane. Why the hell would I let myself get stuck in here like a goddamn horse?

“... I’ll be a few minutes, Paul, just let me get my bag…”

My ears spring up. Oh shit, I know that voice. I would know that voice from anywhere. Hell, everyone would recognize a voice that they intentionally zone out because it does nothing but nag you all day long. I trot over to the front of the stall and lean my head out of the gate. I know the sound of that asshole’s voice from anywhere. He’s walking along the row of stalls, coming up on me fast. Yes! Thank god! My rescue has arrived!

He walks in front of me and comes to a halt at my stall. He looks confused and an eyebrow raise confirms it. His eyes are darting up and down, and he keeps licking his lips in a concentrative manner, observing me like some sort of animal. He’s deep in thought, I can tell. Thinking about what the hell I am and where I came from. And probably my striking resemblance to the characters of a certain show his roommate likes to whack off to.

He opens his mouth for a moment. Yes, yes, you know it’s me, right? Come on, say it. I know I don’t look like I usually do, but it’s me!

He closes his mouth again and laughs, shaking his head. “Man, I almost asked if you could talk,” he says, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t know who painted you up to look like that, but they sure as hell did a good job.”

He rubs his eyes and sighs. “Yeah, like talking ponies are real… that’ll be the day.”

He starts walking off whistling… goddamnit. He’s whistling the theme song to My Little Pony. What a fuck, I knew he was more than just a casual watcher. Lying prick… I realize he’s gone, and I’m left in the dirt, my mouth open and attracting flies.

Shit! No, come back! It’s me, it’s your friend, your roommate, your best friend in the whole world.

I neigh out to him and stamp my hooves… then… wait a second, I can talk! Gah, what the hell is wrong with me? Being treated like a horse is really messing with my head! I’m not a horse, I’m a pony! I’m a cute cartoon mare that shouldn’t be neighing. I… I…

I’m not a fucking pony! Shit! What’s wrong with me!? It’s… it’s… wait, I can talk now.

“Brian! Get your ass back here!” I shout and immediately hear a bucket drop to the ground with a loud clang. The whistling stops dead and a silence hangs in the air. The seconds tick by, and all my large, equine ears can pick up is the distant sound of people asking questions to the stable staff outside. They’re quiet, though, and I can hear a few tentative footsteps inch their way toward the stall. I see his head peek around the corner.

“Took you long enough, jackass,” I say. He stares at me. “You have no fucking clue what I’ve been through, man. And where the hell have you been? I’ve been stuck in here for two hours before a single person decided to check up on me! I mean, the least someone could have done was give me a fucking update on what’s going on. And why the fuck are you looking at me like that?”

His eyes look like they’re going to stay jutted out and wide forever. Damn, I wish I had a camera. He looks like he just got told he was the father of a bastard child he’s having with a cheap whore. Or, you know, he just saw a talking pony. One or the other.

“Y-you, you’re a-a…”

“A pony?” I ask him, fluttering my eyelashes at him a bit. As sarcastically as fluttering my eyelashes could be. I don’t know why I’m acting so weird, but everything feels like a fever dream to me right now. The smell of these stables, the soft touch of my mane to my neck, standing on all four hooves. Part of me finds this all really creepy, but contrasting that, the other half of me has a feeling of ‘this is where I belong’. It should be alarming, but all I feel is a dense fog shrouding my body in a cocoon of contradiction. I’m dehydrated, maybe. And on top of that, while I know what I am and what happened, I’m sorta hoping this is all a big joke and none of it’s true.

I glance back up at my roommate. His mouth hangs open as he nods. He backs away a bit and stands up clumsily, knocking over a bucket of feed in the process.

“Y-you’re not real!” he shouts. “You can’t be real!”

Okay, fool. I swear if you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna buck your nuts next chance I get.

“Oh yeah? I’m not real?” I deadpan. “Are you sure?”

He nods while grabbing a pole with his big, meaty hands. He stands up and holds it in a striking pose, looking ready to wham me with it if I tried anything funny. Seriously, dude? I’m, like, not even four feet tall and yet the six-foot-tall, former-linebacker looks like he’s defending himself from a grizzly bear.

Seriously, dude, I have hooves and a pussy. Not much I can do to you unless I had a horn. Oh yeah, dammit, why wasn’t I lucky enough to get a horn? “Brian, put down the broom. What the hell am I going to do to you from all the way over here? Behind a locked gate.” I jiggle it with my hoof for emphasis.

“Stay back! You’re not real! You’re-you…” He lowers the broom and lifts his brow up. He blinks a few times and leans in a little closer. “What did you just call me?”

“Well, I called you a jackass earlier. Is that what you’re talking about?” I rolled my eyes.

He came up to the gate and knelt down, his head level with mine, but still keeping a little distance between us. He shakes his head.

“No, you called me… Brian.”

I smile. “Mhm, I did indeed.”

“Who are you?”

“Come on, Brian, you mean to tell me that you don’t recognize your best friend?”

His eyes widened. “Sean? Sean, is that you?”

What? What the fuck? “Sean? Who the hell is… No, dammit! It’s Dan, you asshole!” I stomp my hoof for emphasis, but I nearly fall over. Woah, my legs feel really wobbly, and my rump is really sore for some reason.

“Dan?”

I huff. “Finally! You know, it hurts that I’m not your best friend considering how long I’ve known you. And who the hell is Sean? I don’t even know anybody named Sean.”

His face stays the same, still nearly expressionless. I think he’s trying to grasp everything that’s happening, and it doesn’t look like it’s going so great, either.

“Uhh, he’s, uhh…” Okay, dude, come on, finish your sentence. You can do it, bud. He shakes his head as if to break a trance.

“Are you alright, dude?”

He blinks incredibly slowly and rubs them again. “Yeah, I just feel a little faint is all… I mean, all this is insane, and… holy shit, you’re… you’re… a pony! And I mean, look at you! You’re cute! Just like in the show—”

I nod in agreement and plop down on my flanks, which immediately whine in protest. Oh god, it feels like I was ran through by a fucking train. What the hell happened yesterday anyway?

“— You’ve got hooves and a mane! And crotchboobs, and…”

He stops suddenly, and, like the disgusting sound of a violin string snapping in the middle of a solo performance, an awkward silence fills the air. I know what’s coming. Hell, I did it yesterday when I found the damn thing.

“Dude… you’re not a dude anymore.” He was taking things surprisingly calm. “You’ve, uhh, you’ve got a vagina?”

I nod and look down, a deep blush evident on my face. That is, if you could see it through my fur.

“Wow, I mean, just wow.”

“What?” I look up. “What are you wowing about, Brian?”

“This has got to be the strangest thing I’ve ever heard of. I mean, not only did you flip species, but you flipped gender too? Ouch. That must have felt like a crotch shot from hell.” He giggled. “Good thing your family jewels were gone then, right, Dan?” I see an elbow come through the gate and nudge my side playfully. Holy shit, that was the quickest change from shocked beyond anything you’ve ever before straight back to jocular asshole. And I thought I was taking the situation a bit too lightly.

I stare at him. “So, are you gonna help me or what?” I deadpan.

He hesitates for a moment, but quickly nods and reaches toward the gate. All the while, mumbling to himself. “Man, I can’t believe this is happening…”

“You’ve already said that,” I answer, but he doesn’t seem to be listening as he fiddles with the jammed lock.

“I mean, how the hell am I going to explain this to the owner? ‘Hey, sir, sorry to bother you, but my roommate, you know, the one you hired to work in your stable… well, he sort of turned into a pony and mated with your horses.”

I roll my eyes. “Would you quit freaking out, it’s gonna be—”

I look up at him and my heart seems to stop beating. Wait… wait just one goddamned second. “What did you just say?” He stops fiddling with the lock and looks down.

“Nothin’ just talking to myself is all.”

“No, asshole, did you just say mated with horses?”

He nods. “Yeah, and by the way, what the fuck was going through your head? I mean, I always thought you were a little gay, but, dude… that’s some seriously messed up shit you just pulled. Just what the hell were you thinking?”

The hair on my withers is standing on end, my teeth are clenching painfully in my jaw, still sore from biting down on the bit as hard as I did. If I still had visible skin, you’d see goosebumps prickle up along my arms and legs. The stable feels chilly.

“I did what?” I stare at him, and he stares back, his pale eyes, brow furrowed, jutting back and forth across me. My eyes probably look glazed over, an odd mixture since they’re the size of softballs.

“You, uhh, you…” His look shifts to the same sympathetic gaze he gives women when they show up around our apartment asking where he’d been for the past week. He was never good at confrontations, and I could see all this was making him feel awkward. I was being treated like one of the girls he made cry.

When I woke up, I knew my bum ached more than it ever should. And I couldn’t help but notice a strange sloshy feeling on my insides. Like I was ‘filled up’ or something. Not to mention, whenever I sat down I felt something sticky start to ooze out onto the stall floor…

I remember the crowd. The audience was standing on their feet, cheering for their bets as they ran around the track. As they rounded the fence they smelled intoxicating, their hooves beating a steady tribal beat as if a part of some ancient mating ritual. I couldn’t stop. As they drew nearer, as if by some mechanism buried deep into me, I trotted towards them. Their smell drove me wild! It called me! I turned around and lifted up the only defense I had to protect my masculinity. The last bit of my manhood, gone. The last piece of my humanity with it.

I fall to my haunches, the warm fluid dripping out of my equine nethers. I shiver with disgust. “Y-you’re right,” I say. The shame is spilling out of my eyes and from my rear. “Holy shit, you’re right.” I don’t want to look up at him. I don’t think I can ever look up at him. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Why the fuck would I do that?”

I hear the clank and screech of metal turning on a bracket. A gentle nudge makes me shift my head to see my friend. He’s hunched over, sitting on his ankles. We’re not exactly making eye contact, and for that I’m thankful.

But… just what does he want from me?

“You alright, man?” he says softly. Almost comforting really, but it’s forced, I can tell.

I shake my head. Fuck, does it look like I’m alright? I hide my head in my hooves. “I’m not a man anymore! Shit, I’m not even a human anymore!”

“Hey, don’t be like that, dude. It’s okay, everything is okay.” I shake my head again. I can tell if I spoke, the only noise that would come out is a cracked version of a voice that isn’t mine. I can hear him sit down. “You know... I, um, clop too.”

Once again, the stall falls silent besides the incessant droning of idiots outside. Wait, what? I mean, I always assumed that he maybe could have, but I was right? I look up at him as he awkwardly shifts around.

“Yup, I clop about twice a day in all truth.”

Twice a day? Shit, I only do it once a day, if that. I barely ever see him in the apartment…

“Whenever you leave for work is when I do it. Usually I say that I don’t start my shift for another hour, but… you know, I can show up whenever. Not much to do here but clean horse shit.”

Wow, that’s just. Wow. He’s the reason I’ve had to do so much of the cleaning. Damnit.

He continues, his voice changing from what felt like a father to his son, to a man consoling his best friend. “You have balls, Dan. More balls than most of the men in this entire county combined. Shit, you’ve got balls.”

I, uhh… what? I glance down at my nethers. Nope, no balls, only teats. And, ew, are they… lactating? Gross.

“Hey, you don’t need tesicles to show that you got balls, so stop looking for them. They’re inside of you…” He stops and giggles. “Yeah, hehe, they’re kind of literally inside of you too.”

Okay, smart ass, thanks a lot. I wipe my nose and see some snot. Damn, does a man fucking drool all over themselves like this? Maybe a pussy.

“But shit, Dan, you want to know something?”

I reluctantly nod.

He gets in close and looks left and right, as if to check if someone were listening to us. “I would have done the same thing.”

“What?” I croak out, my voice cracking.

He just chuckles. “Are you kidding? Don’t act so surprised by that. Think about it for a second. What guy hasn’t at least thought about what it’s like to have…” His eyes scoot lower down my body. “One of those things. It’s all about that stuff that Freud said, I’m pretty sure. That men yearn to feel what women feel, and women want to know what laying pipe feels like.”

He pats me on the head. “You, my friend, just experienced something that no other human has ever really gotten to feel. And quite frankly, I’m a little bit jealous.”

I know what he’s saying is crazy and stupid and just-for-the-hell-of-it, but all in all, I feel a bit relieved. That feeling inside me before, when it was just me trying to get out of the bridle. Well, that horrible, gut wrenching tinge within the deepest pit of myself was insecurity. I was alone. I didn’t wake up to that same KISS alarm clock Brian sets every night before work. IIIII don’t wanna toss-and-turn all niiiight, and wake up oooon time! It wasn’t there, and Brian wasn’t there to yell at me to get up and get ready for work. It was only me.

But with him sitting next to me, after hearing all that stuff he’s been keeping from me—even though I should be mad—I’m relieved. And it may have been the intoxicating aroma he’s giving off or the gentle pats on the back he’s giving me. But I think it’s something else. I think it’s something much better than that.

I’m not alone. In any sense of the word.

“Sooo,” he says shifting a little bit toward me. I realize that I’ve been losing myself in the caressing his hand is giving my coat. Hands feel so soft, by the way. “What does it feel like?”

I sniffled back some snot. God, I’m a wreck. Might as well burn the rest of my man cards along with every pair of gloves I own and all the meat in the fridge. “What does what feel like?”

“Oh, you know…” His eyes dart back and forth, looking at everything but me. “Your, umm, your pussy.”

I cough when I understand what he just mumbled. I stare at him. “Right now? You seriously want to know what this thing feels like right now?”

He just blushes and nods.

I sigh. I’m going to need about two years of therapy to live this incident down. How the hell am I supposed to describe how getting impaled on a cock feels like? “Well,” I start. “It’s sort of like—”

“Right in here, Dr. Spalding! Right this way,” a voice interrupts, drawing both Brian’s attention and my own. He jumps up, and I slink down. That voice was very familiar.

Brian steps outside and quietly shuts the gate behind him. He makes a keep quiet gesture with his hands and starts walking out of my view. I can hear my horse-sized heart beating faster as Brian approaches who I can only tell is the owner. An old fashioned man with more white suits and bolo ties than any one person should own. Much like Colonel Sanders without the white hair and quite-so protruded gut, but with all of the hard-working, down-home traditionalism one would expect a native Texan to possess.

“Hello, sir,” I hear Brian say. “What can I do for you?”

A small pause lingers in the air.

“Who are you?”

“Sir,” Brian says. “I’m Brian—”

“What are you doing back here?” he interrupts.

I hear some uneasy shifting of stance and what sounds like Brian struggling to come up with an answer. Come on, dude, you can do it. I’m just gonna sit this one out. Play dumb, you know? You’ve gotta handle it.

“I was, uhh, grabbing a bag that I left in here earlier.” A short pause once again takes hold of the stable. “...Sir, I work for you. I’m a stablehand.”

A slow chuckle starts transforming into the unhealthy, diabetic guffawing I’ve recognized come out of the old Texan’s mouth. I shiver. God, it sounds like he’s the type of person who’d kill me and turn me into pulled pork. Err, whatever you call pulled pony meat.

“Well, why didn’t you just say so, boy! If you’re an employee of mine, then everything’s alright. But, to be honest, I thought you’d be outside battin’ off those reporters tryin’ to get in. Ya know, like what I ordered my maintenance team to do.” His expression turns stern, but a creepy smile remains. Very passive aggressive, I have to say.

I scrunch my nose. Wow, our boss is a dick. I think I can smell the country-range, deep fried douchebag all the way from over here. And that’s hard, because ever since I woke up, my nose has been itching and tickling like I’d spent all night snorting cocaine through a folded $100 bill. Something is in the air. Something strange, and I can’t tell if I like it, or if I love it.

“Uhh, sorry, sir. I was just about to leave. And sorry, but I need to get my bag. I left it back there.”

I hear footsteps round the corner and Brian comes into view. He barely even looks my way. “I’ll be back tonight to get you out, okay?” he whispers, barely audible. I nod in confirmation.

“Just, please, don’t leave me here.” I say softly. “This place feels wrong. I feel wrong.”

Brian looks at me smiles a little. “I said I’ll be back, okay?”

My heart tightens and I feel fear again. “Don’t leave me in here, Brian. Save me!” I hiss, barely audible above a whisper. “For the love of god, save me from myself! I don’t want to be a pony or a horse! Please don’t leave me locked in these stables like a goddamned horse! Everyone thinks I belong here. They’re going to treat me like an animal. Please, Brian! I… I… don’t want to stay here! I’m not a mare, I’m a man! I’m a man!”

I was a man…

The whole exchange didn’t last but a few second, but my body was shaking and sputtering in an uncontrollable, female mess. And the weird part is, is that I have no idea why I’m doing it. I’m just doing it. It’s a stabbing feeling, and not the good kind either. One that’s hacking and hacking away at my arms and my legs and my back. I hate it. It’s like I’m being rained on in the middle of November, out in the cold with nothing but my own two legs.

I wince. Four legs. My own four legs.

Tears are collecting in little droplets on my fur as they struggle to find a way down the plinko game on my cheeks. I don’t dare whimper and call attention to myself, those other people are right around the corner.

Brian was staring at me, he sets his bag down and gives me his sympathetic look. Damn that stare. It makes me feel like a child.

I feel a hand reach into the stall and rub my face softly. Gently wiping away the tears as they rolled from my eyes. His hands are soft and warm compared to the frigid stable air. Comforting and soothing. I lean into it, and he speaks. “Hang in there, buddy. I really gotta go! This guy could fire me a blink if he wanted to. I’ll come back as soon as I can, though, okay?” He’s speaking quietly. The owner is only around the next corner.

It takes all my strength, but I manage not to break down into a sobbing wreck as he tickles my ears lovingly. I nod slowly.

He smiles for a second, but it turns into a solemn gaze. “I promise, I’ll be back,” he whispers.

I watch as he shuffles his way back, picks up his bag once more, and walks out past the owner, saying a quick goodbye to him before exiting the barn and slamming the door. Two sets of footsteps grew louder as two men stand in front of my stall.

“Jesus, what the hell is that thing?” the first man asks. He’s got curly, brown hair and a big nose. He’s pretty short for a man, and he doesn’t look all that physical. More of the bookworm type, I’d assume.

“It’s the pony I was tellin’ you about, Doctor. The one that interrupted one of my races to, uhh, make special use of my stallions.” The man speaking is the owner of the track and most of the horses in the stable. Like I said, he’s reminiscent of a young Colonel Sanders. That’s really all I know about him, other than the fact he’s a vicious gambler and an even more gruesome businessman. If you can even differentiate between the two.

“Well,” the doctor started. “I can see its resemblance but to be honest, I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” He took a step closer. “I mean, look at it. Its eyes are the size of softballs! And its mane color is unnatural!”

The owner steps forward and rests his hands on the gate. “Pretty rare, I’d wager. Haven’t really seen anything like it myself. Doctor, would you say I’ve got a rarity on my hands.”

The doctor chuckled. “Maybe, but let’s just give it an exam to check up on its health. It could just be a pony that’s so damn sick it turned blue and grew larger eyes.”

“Aww, shucks. You think it’s contagious, doctor?”

“No. I don’t think so. I mean, look at the way it’s watching us. Doesn’t seem to be keeling over anytime soon, I’d imagine.” He pushes his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

Hey, Gilbert Lowe, watch it with that ‘it’ stuff. I’m not an ‘it’, thank you very much. Try not to piss me off, because god only knows what the hell I’ve had to deal with in the past fucking hour alone. I’ve got teeth. Non-sharp, leaf eating teeth, but nevertheless, I’m sure they hurt plenty.

“Why don’t we get the examination started, hm? The sooner we find out what it is, the faster we can determine whether or not you can keep it.” He unhinges the handle and takes a step in. I’m standing stock still.

Keep it? Keep me? Just wait one goddamned second, calculator man! I’m no one’s property but my own, and if you think for one second that you’re going to come in here and—

“Come here, horsey.” He nickers his lips. “That’s right, I’m not going to hurt you. Just come here. We’re gonna give you a little check up, okay, horsey?” The doctor takes a step toward me, braying me to come closer and put my head in a length of rope he had tied in a knot.

Hey, buddy, if you think for one second that I’m going to put my head in there, you’re a lot dumber than you look. I take a step back and stomp a hoof. Both men jump a little. That’s right, assholes, stay away from me. Call me Crazy Horse because I’m one sonuvabitch who’s not gonna take this sitting down. Put your fingers near my muzzle, I dare you.

Part of me wants to just start talking to them and settle this issue like a civilized human being to avoid this whole nightmarish situation. But I’m hesitant. What would these guys do if they heard me talk? Would I get thrown in jail for seducing two of that guy’s horses in front of a live crowd? What about the government? They sure as hell wouldn’t let me just live my life like a normal human being. At least, that’s not what Hollywood has lead me to believe. But then again, why would I trust Hollywood in the first place?

And besides, I have to go south to find Discord! He’s going to be waiting for me so I can go… for that thing… err…” I blink a few times and try to think, but the haze of being in this stable is really starting to get to me. I could feel my body practically soaking up these horse smells, and it’s making it hard to remember why I was supposed to go… North? No, West? I was supposed to go West for something, I think. Mmm, maybe it was for a pack of stallions…

“Gotcha!” A rope wraps around my neck and tightens up to a strangling squeeze. What the fuck!? I pull against his grasp as hard as I can, and the doctor and owner both fight against me. They’re stronger, though, and before I know it, I’m being pulled out into the open stable as I neigh and grunt in strain.

They bring me to the tall wooden support beam in the center of the structure, forcing another bit into my mouth and tying me up so I can’t get away. They let go, and I start bucking like a bronco. That’s right, assholes, take a step closer to me and see how far that gets you! I’m not above nut shots, and you may not have any, but I’ll still give it a fucking try!

“Woah, woah, boy, easy now. We don’t want to hurt you.”

“Ahem,” the owner interrupts, “It’s a mare, not a stallion.”

That’s right, dick faces. I’m a mare, not a… not a… I’m not a stallion… I mentally facepalm. Of course I’m a stallion, I’m just not in the right body right now! Yeah, I just need to climb this gigantic pile of literal horse shit that seemed to find me, of all people, and get my old body back.

“Oh, alright then. Atta girl, just calm down, okay?” I nicker. Okay, I’m not going to be calm, nerd, but I won’t buck you in the jaw as long as you appreciate my personal space. “Now,” he says, putting on a pair of rubber gloves from his bag. “If you would be so kind, Mr. Callahan, as to keep her calm while I perform the examination, I would very much appreciate it.”

The owner chimes in with a quick “Of course,” before jumping to my side and gently rubbing my coat and scratching behind my ears. Okay, this is a little bit creepy, not gonna lie. My employer, the man who pays me to clean up shit from the floor, is touching me like I’m an animal.

But damn, did it feel good. My ears keep twitching with every scratch, and his fingers are doing wonders on my fur. Oh god, this is too addicting.

“Open wide, sweetie,” the doctor says. Okay, I’ll do it. Just don’t stop scratching that itch. Yeah, right there, aww yeah. I find my back leg shaking back and forth uncontrollably like a dog’s when you rub its belly. But hell, there’s no way I’m stopping him. This shit feels too good!

I open my mouth and his hands start prodding their way around my tongue and teeth. It’s a little uncomfortable, but manageable. His eyes pan back and forth, searching for anything out of the ordinary.

“Nothing seems to be wrong with her mouth. Perfectly healthy, very clean looking teeth. And her breath… doesn’t smell bad at all.”

Thank you, Crest Toothpaste™. You’re a real life saver.

“Alright, keep doing what you’re doing, I’m gonna go behind and see if I can’t examine her genitalia.”

I groan into the bridle in my mouth. Is this what heaven feels like? Being felt up by an old Texan with hands crafted by the gods? I know I can never tell him who I am now after this. Way too creepy and embarrassing. But still, I’m not going to—

Oh my god! My eyes light up and my face feels like it drained of all my blood. He’s touching me down… oh god, he’s touching my…

I neigh and stomp a hoof, earning a gentle pat on the rump by another set of hands. “Calm down, girl, I’m just going to make sure you’re healthy. Mr. Callahan, make sure she doesn’t buck me when I’m back here.”

The hand on my side starts stroking a little harder, almost restraining, really. It’s a little harder for me to move, but my legs are as strong as horses’. Just a smaller, more feminine version. “Alright, girl, don’t worry, this will all be over soon.”

I feel a gentle prod at my lower lips as one side parts out of the way. I soft breeze is rustling against my pink insides, and a shiver runs up my spine as he explores deeper. I close my eyes and bite down hard on my bridle.

Dude! Stop fingering me! Not…

I groan into the bit.

… cool. Not cool at all. I hear slick meaty sound coming from behind as more of his hand, his fingers included, push more and more of my leathery flaps out of the way. This is so wrong! Very, very wrong! My legs are shaking and my teeth would be chattering, had it not been for the piece of metal wedged between them.

“Her clitoris is fine. In fact, it’s very responsive to being touched.”

Unf, yeah, very responsive. Just keep touching that spot.

“Good girl. That’s it, I’m not going to hurt you.” He pushes in deeper until his entire fist is a few inches inside of me, and I feel his other hand inspect my expanded lips with little prods. I know I shouldn’t be reacting this badly to something as small as a hand in there, considering I had well over two feet of horse cock jammed in there pretty hard, but I didn’t ask for this! This was totally not my choice this time! My pussy is meant for horse cocks, not human forearms! What’s this guy into, bestiality?

Sick, dude!

My breathing becomes shallow, and I close my eyes as I struggle not to groan. Why the hell does this have to feel so good?

“A lot of lubrication, that’s for sure. I almost feel bad for the poor dear. No wonder she tried to get attention from your stallions; she’s in a lot of pain down here.”

“How is she, doctor? Anything wrong with the plumbing?” I groan at the comment, but only a neigh comes out of my mouth. I’m lost in the twist and turns of his entire forearm checking my tunnel for something wrong. Just keep searching, doctor. You’re gonna find something in a second if you keep that up.

“Oh, she’s fine so far. You can never be too careful. And as it turns out, she’s in heat, so she probably doesn’t think anything of me checking her like this.”

Hehe, you got that right, doctor.

“See, she’s even holding up her tail without me having to keep it up. If I didn’t know any better…”

I stomp on the ground with a hoof as he hits a spot that sends my stomach fluttering, and my eyes seeing little white stars everywhere. Oh god, I’ve got to… My legs start to buckle and I groan heavily into my ball gag… err… no wait, it’s a horse bridle, and it’s not supposed to feel good! Dammit, stupid vet, stop turning me on like this!

My pussy clenches down on his fist, and my insides feel like they’re on fire. I close my eyes and fluid squirts out of me in a messy stream of hot, wet lubrication. Oh, fuck me that’s good. I feel him start to remove his hand from me, but I bear down harder on him. Don’t you dare take that out, you asshole. You put it there, and hell, you’re gonna finish what you started.

I ride my orgasm with continued bliss as I squirt more and more all over the doctor who won’t quit yelling at me and spanking my flanks. That’s right, I’m a dirty mare, doctor. Enjoy your shower!

My genitals milk his hand as if it were a large, horse cock. It isn’t the same, but my mind fills in the gaps where it’s needed. I feel shame when I think about it, but I can’t not think about it. It’s all I can think about! Something’s wrong, but I don’t even care! His knuckles adjust in a way that feels like a stallion flaring inside me. Do it! I’m a fucking mare!

The last wave of pleasure passes over me, and I let go of his arm, sending him reeling back into the owner. I lay down, breathing heavily as the man who just brought me to climax shouts and hollers at Mr. Callahan. I look back at him.

The doctor’s face was beet red, blushing and angry all at the same time. He was fuming. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I don’t deal with this bull shit! I’m a doctor, for christ’s sake!”

Mr. Callahan stares at him in shock. “What’re you talking about? You’re the one that just gave a handy to my horse.”

“Never, in my years as a vet, have I ever induced a mare to orgasm by examination.”

Think again, buddy. You got this gal to go from pretty moist to squirting orgasm in ten seconds flat. I giggle on the inside. God, I’m an idiot.

“You can forget about me working with you ever again! To think, I’ve been coming here for five years, and then you decide to do something like this!”

“Sir, I don’t quite understand what this is,” the owner bumbles out.

“Hmph, laugh all you want, Mr. Callahan. You’ll never have a decent veterinarian work for you as long as you live!” the doctor yells as he scoops up his gear and storms towards the stable door.

“Wait,” the owner yells. “You never told me if she can get pregnant or not!” He waits for a reply, but the doctor keeps stomping off. “Well, can she?!”

The doctor stops at the door and turns around. “That crazy animal is a healthy and very fertile mare. Biologically, there’s nothing unusual or wrong about her in the slightest. As for her mental status, however, only god knows what sort of sick tricks you apparently trained her to do to me!” He harrumphed. “Regardless, you won’t see me around here again! And I’ll be billing you an extra thousand dollars for that stunt! Good day!”

My legs are still weak from my fun earlier, and I’m laying down to relax for the first time in a while. It had been hours since the owner had left me in this stall. He didn’t say a word after that incredibly handy doctor left, and no one had come in to check up on my since then. I lift my head and look around.

At least I have a little bit of company, though.

All around me are several horses, each busy either eating some hay in the bucket at the corner or playing with a little blue ball. They’re kicking it against the wall and back and forth between each other. It’s actually very cute. I can’t help but d’aaw at the sight.

I let out a yawn and rub my jaw a bit. It was sore from biting down in the bridle so hard, but luckily the owner took it off before he left.

I try to stand up, but my legs buckle.

Damn this heat! I’d kick it in the ass if I could, and I’m getting damn tired of it kicking my ass! My pussy is dripping wet. A little bit of semen is still slipping out of me and onto the ground. I made the mistake before of taking it in my hoof and sniffing it.

It’s intoxicating.

I look around in the stall I’m in and thank god that the owner put me in here with some company. I lick my lips. Time to have some fun.

I trot up to the nearest horse turn my back to it. I raise my tail and present myself like I had seen so many times working on this track. In a second, I would feel the burden of a whole stallion, desperately trying to nail me like a mare. I shudder. Yeah, this is gonna feel pretty good.

I wait. And wait. And wait.

I turn my head around to see the horse still in the same spot, staring at me like I’m some sort of weirdo. “What?” I ask. “I’m giving myself to you. Take me. Go on, you dumb horse.”

I wait. And wait…

“Goddamnit!” I turn back around a face the horse. “What’s wrong with me, huh? You’re not into ponies?” I shout in a feminine voice. “That’s racist! You don’t see any other horses refusing me, do you?”

The horse looks at me with a funny face, as if it hadn’t expected me to talk.

“Wait a second,” I say, craning my neck the side. “You’re not a…” I kick a hoof at the ground. “You’re not a stallion.” I see two teats attached to two very large crotchboobs. “Damnit!” My eyes watch the large, hanging mounds below her belly, jiggling back and forth. They were big and round, probably full of milk for a little foal to drink. I crane my neck and look down at my own pair of teats.

They’re… not nearly as big. My sacs are much smaller, and more cartoon like than real. The nipples look like cute little, tan Hershey’s Kisses. Not anything like the foal suckling set that the other mare was gifted.

Why did she get to have big boobs and I didn’t? Is that why she was just mounted and I wasn’t? I see a slow stream of semen dripping down her plot and falling to the ground. That should be me! Will stallions turn me down because I don’t have big teats? I kick a hoof at the dirty floor. Why couldn’t she have the cute little pony tits instead of me? I want the big, saggy, all-purpose crotch boobs, not these!

The horse just sort of looks at me with its big, black eyes and turns its stupid head to the side. Stupid mare, why couldn’t they have put me into a stall with a tall, hunk of a stallion. One who wouldn’t hesitate for a second before mounting me and fucking me so hard I can’t think straight. But no, I get stuck with you. A mare would rather eat hay and play with a fucking ball than provide me any sort of relief.

What a shame, too. That long tongue would have done wonders on my pussy.

My eyes light up as an imaginary light bulb appears above my head. Of course! Why didn’t I think of it before? Maybe they just don’t know what I’m after.

I trot behind the horse and start caressing her flank. All she needs is a little coaxing, and we could have some fun tonight.

The mare turns her head to look back at me. I’m not very good at reading horse emotions, but it feels like she’s either giving me a “please, keep going,” look or a “step away from the rear or else you’re getting a mouth full of hoof.” Either way, I don’t really feel like stopping. My cunt is dripping again, and my clit is popping out in that familiar, twitchy way. If there was a stallion in here, he would have tackled me just to get in my pretty pony puss. Well, maybe not pretty. After all, it did look a lot like the horse pussy I’m staring at right now. Leathery, lots of extra skin, and practically oozing a clearish, white liquid. You know, a week ago I would have gagged just looking at this, but right now, I think it looks pretty cute.

And tasty.

I put both my hooves around her flanks and she neighs. I keep rubbing, but she doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, her tail lifts out of the way, and I get a better look at the used, gaping cunt that I’ve been smelling for the past five minutes. I’ve seen horse pussies every day working at this place, but never once did I ever feel so attracted to them as I did now.

Wink.

The mare’s clitoris is covered in a wet, white fluid that drips down to the floor. I think she’s just going into heat right now. I feel you, sister. I know the pains of a mare in the summer time. I bet you’d like a nice long cock to stuff you like a stocking.

I give her lips a kiss.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a cock anymore, but I do have one of these.” I put my mouth up to her pussy, and like the first time I ever made out with a girl, began to slip a little bit of my tongue through my lips and into hers. She tasted salty. I think a stallion may have had some fun with her recently and used her to pump some of his delicious seed into. I lather my tongue around her clit and suck on it as it twitches on and off in my mouth.

She whinnies as I reach a hoof under and play with her teats. As a mare, I bet she’s never experienced this sort of feeling before. I bet she’ll be more than happy to return the favor.

Time for my long, pony tongue to get down to business. I snake my tongue around her clit one last time before pushing it past her folds and into her tunnel. She tastes amazing! I can’t exactly say what that flavor is, but along with the smell, it’s so intoxicating, I feel my tail lifting instinctually. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I imagine getting mounted by my mate. I wish I could clop, but my hooves are busy, and I can’t reach my clit from this position.

But then again, I always loved teasing myself.

I feel her crevices and nooks, her ridges, and her soft little bumps along her passage. My tongue is getting in deeper than any human tongue ever could, and from her labored breathing, I’d say she likes it. My chin keeps bumping into her clit, and I start to rub it with what I can.

I feel her clench down and fidget where she’s standing. I open my eyes. Oh my god.

A rush of white liquid, a mixture of old stallion semen and mare juices shoots into my mouth and all over my face. It’s like a jet the way it comes out, and it doesn’t stop for a good while. I keep licking, hoping that it’ll bring her to the most intense orgasm she’s ever had. And I think I’ve done just that.

The horse starts to separate from me and starts to turn around. I land on my hooves and we both look at each other eye to eye. Her expression doesn’t change, but she reaches over me with her long neck and starts to nuzzle my mane.

My heart explodes. She’s thanking me.

For a bit, she kind of tries eating my mane with her horsey lips and I chuckle about it, but that burning liquid in my loins wants more than that. I stand up, turn around and lift my tail, looking back at her to return the favor. Come on, horsey. You know what to do. Just give it a little taste with that muscled, strong tongue of yours. Just a little lick, come on.

I raise my flanks even higher, presenting myself to her for my pleasure. She stares at my flanks and takes a step closer. Yes, that’s right, go ahead. Good girl.

She cranes her neck over my rear. I close my eyes. That’s it.

I feel…

I feel my tail being tugged as the horse starts to mindlessly bite at it with her teeth. Aww, damnit. I was so damn close, too! I lower myself back to the ground and pout like a kid who just had their candy taken away. Why are horses so dumb? I need some fucking relief right now, and this bitch won’t even give me some head!

Damn selfish, that’s what I say!

Well, looks like I’m going to be clopping like I usually do on a lonely night. I guess some things don’t really change that much when you go from human to pony. I look down at my slit. I guess it just changes how you do things.

I get to work rubbing myself and get into a nice groove. A hoof is no cock, and man did I wish I had fingers, but nevertheless, it gets the job done. Better to have something rather than nothing, I always say.

It just sucks that I can’t get a nice, thick horsecock to end this nightmare of a day. I look across the stalls into the one where the stallions are sleeping for the night. All of them, every single one, is watching me, not moving, with erections that could break bricks. Damn, I’ve put on a little show for them, haven’t I? And I bet my smell is driving them crazy, hehe.

I pout. I wish I could just go into that stall for the night. You know, just walk over there and slip into that stall.

I stop clopping.

Wait, why am I still here? There’s literally nothing stopping me from going over there!

I stand up like a child getting presents on Christmas day and run to the stall door. The latch on it is easy to reach through the gaps in the board, and I very easily open it.

My mouth waters as I see my path to the stallions is unfettered and wide open. My fantasy, my recent addiction. It’s right there for me to take.

I smile. This is going to be a good night.

Author's Notes:

Sorry about the long wait, people. I get really busy around the holidays, and it took me twice as long to get the rough draft out. I hope you like it, though. And expect another update much sooner than this one.

And those KISS lyrics are totally okay to have in here. I checked.