Man of War
Chapter 276: Chapter 272 Doctors Orders
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Perspective: Miles
After breakfast we traveled straight home. Even though there were several attempts to hold us back at Canterlot Luna was adamant about our departure. Every appointment was canceled. Every noble or guard trying to speak to us was turned away before they could say a word. No one stopped us from marching to the teleporter and going home.
I didn't say anything. Although I agreed to the terms I know something is going to come up. It always does. What can I say, trouble finds me. I know I'll have to respond to something at some point. But if I can at least get a few days to straighten out my head then it will be worthwhile.
Shadow went straight to her room without a single word. I am worried about her, but I think this was good. Even if I'm going to have to kill that kid, Shadow and I cleared space I didn't know was growing between us. Maybe things aren't perfect, but they rarely are. And at least she knows I'm on her side. I'll have to figure something out to bridge those gaps though. I need her to know that no matter what she's my daughter and that I love her. Something more than words.
I flop onto my bed and let out a long sigh. Luna's orders are to stay home and relax. But I know I'm not good at that. I'm going to need something to distract myself. I look around the room and try to think of something... but end up staring at Luna's backside as she reads a ledger in her dresser.
Probably not the best time to be thinking of such things...
But not the worst time...
"No." I blink when Luna turns me down. She hasn't even looked away from her book.
"You don't even know-"
"Miles Eremita, were you about to say I didn't know something about my husband?" She asks plainly, flipping a page slowly.
"I would never dare to assume something so bold." I tell her as I shift to lay facing her.
"Well that's good. Because here I was assuming you were eyeing me like a fresh stack of pancakes." I chuckle at that. True to her own words, she does know me best.
"A thick stack of sweet, delectable, treasure? Though I do see how you'd come to that conclusion, I did just eat. Although, I guess I could be persuaded otherwise. If only for my loving wife." She scoffs in return, still reading the ledger.
"I don't know about thick, but your compliments are still appreciated. Now!" She says as she shuts the book and returns it to the dresser. She takes a look at me and puts on a smile. One that tells me she's about to make a proposition with no good answers. "Miles... my loving husband-"
"Just ask." I cut her off. There's no need to be coy at this point. After all the drama of last night I don't need anymore pitiful words and bashful demeanors.
She nods to me and slowly walks to the bed. I can see her trying to pick her words carefully. She takes a seat and leans against me as she settles on whatever phrase she needs. Whatever this is, it's not going to be good.
"Would you be willing to get a psyche evaluation with Doctor Monitor?"
"... sure."
"Really?" She asks with genuine surprise.
"Yeah, sure, why not?" I ask as I lay on my back. She stares down at me with her mouth hanging open.
I hate going to the doctors here in Equestria. They're not as effective as the bots in Topaz Falls, in my opinion at least. But, per Luna's request, I do have a general practitioner. One Doctor Monitor. He's a crotchety older stallion that I'm almost positive is fucking his much younger assistant. He's a veteran of a conflict that he won't speak of. Takes zero bullshit. And ignores anything any of my bots tell him.
He's been practicing for nearly forty years. So according to him there's nothing these machines can tell him about pony physiology. Modern bone scans, not needed. MRI scans and soul refractors? Garbage. We... well, it's not that we dislike each other. But we... it's hard to take each other serious. But, according to Luna, he's the only doctor that can deal with me. So I have to visit once a year. And since he's my GP, he has a certain level of authority over me. At least in a military sense.
"So... you'll go?" Luna clarifies, baffled by my sudden willingness.
"Sure! But I'd like a simple little favor in return though." I tell her.
"Oh?" She asks cautiously.
"Let me put another kid in you."
"..."
Normally this would be something where she'd push back against. It's a pseudo joke at this point. We know we're probably going to have another child at some point. So I always joke about having one sooner rather than later. But... she's considering it. She's genuinely considering it!
My bluff has backfired... successfully.
"Well..." She muses as she turns and lays back. We're both now facing up at the ceiling. I feel myself suddenly get nervous as she thinks about the prospect. I shouldn't be though! I genuinely want another child! But... I'd prefer not to go to the doctors...
"I mean... I'm not opposed to the idea."
DAMMIT ALL!
"Really?" I ask, the genuine surprise plainly evident in my voice. "Not that I'm against the idea... it's just... well... uh..."
"Shadow is going to graduate this year. Tempestive is going to start school this year. The nest is emptying. We've talked about this before. We know we're going to have more. Plus the maternity leave for you would be great for you to get the help you need to handle the Kroth."
"... is it really the right time though?" I ask cautiously. The idea of bringing another child into the world with those monsters so close scares the fuck out of me. I don't know how'd I'd sleep with Luna pregnant and them a short walk away. Not to mention once the baby would be born!
"Is it ever really the right time?" Luna asks as she rolls over to cuddle. "At least now we're choosing to set those plans in motion. I think it should be at a time of our choosing rather than some surprise. So... the real question is; are you up for it?"
I grimace as I think about it. If it weren't for them I'd have no hesitation. I was the one pushing for it anyway. But now that I know they're right around the corner... it feels like the invasion all over again. If I close my eyes and listen I can hear the sirens and gunfire and the screaming... Thinking on it again, I can smell the burning bodies and feel the heat.
But when I open my eyes... it all fades away. Every Spartan I've ever talked to that survived Diamond Halls has told me about these echoes of war. How it always stick with you. With the blink of an eye you're back on the battlefield. Firing your weapon, backing away from the massive horde throwing itself at you... catching that vehicle as it exploded, only to get hit from an RPG explosion. If I close my eyes long enough I can even remember waking in the Everfree, trying to figure out what a tree was.
But it all goes away the moment I open my eyes. As long as I know where I am... I know I can be fine. It's hard to explain it, but as long as I don't dwell on it... I'm okay.
And that's the issue. I can't stop dwelling on it because they're so close now! Even with an entire legion of bots between us... they're too close.
"Luna... I want to grow our family. I really do... But I don't know if I can while they're this close." I tell her quietly. I know Shadow is in the other room. I don't want her catching wind of what I'm saying right now.
"That's why I want you to speak with Monitor." She tells me as she turns to face me. She takes a hoof and strokes the side of my head as I try to avoid eye contact.
"Miles... they surrendered. If we can't believe that the fighting will ever end... then how can we ever grow? We already brought Tempestive into this world. Is it really any different for another child? That's why I want you to speak with the doctors... Miles, you need to start healing, up here." She says before leaning forward and kissing my forehead.
I take a deep breath as I nod to her. She's not wrong. But it's also something that I know she doesn't understand. Spartans are meant to break in the head. We're the part of humanity that's meant to do what's necessary. Not what's right. And that doesn't leave a lot of room for mental health.
But... it's not for me. It's for her. And Shadow. And Tempestive. I'm no longer just a disposable Spartan to take the brunt of the frontlines. I'm the leader of a nation... two nations actually. I have a family that needs me more than ever now...
"I'll go." I say, finally looking to her. She relaxes against me and smiles as she holds my head. "I can't promise much else other than that I'll go, for you. And to growing our family... I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that they're safe. Even if that means... well, you know."
I couldn't get the last of it out. My nerves got the better of me. But they relaxed when Luna leaned in and planted the softest possible kiss on my lips. It was just enough to bring me back to her and sooth my soul.
"I know you will. I'll set up the appointment for tomorrow. Let's rest for today, okay?" She asks as she settles against me.
I hum back to her and try to relax. As we lay here I bring an arm around her and start to stroke her back gently. She melts against me as I follow her spine back and forth slowly. It's one of her little quirks that she enjoys. Gentle scratches along the back. Especially when you start between her wings and reach all the way down to her hips. Though she definitely enjoys it more in my human form. Finger nails and hooves are no substitutes I guess.
"Talk to me." She says quietly. I get a little confused when she says this. She just nuzzles more deeply into me as she rests against me. "About anything. I just want to hear you talk. Please?"
"Alright... boy or girl this time?" I ask, knowing full well what she wants.
"Mmm... girl. You?"
"I think a girl would be nice. Add variety to the mix." She chuckles to that. I try to think of something else to ask or say, but then I look down to her. The light is coming through a narrow slit of the blinds and illuminates the side of her face.
I get lost to her beauty for a moment. The warmth between us... the glow of morning tracing her silhouette... the scent of moon lilies and vanilla, her preferred scents, it's all enough to intoxicate me. How could a creature so effortlessly beautiful care so deeply for a stubborn man like me will never cease to amaze me. But I can't help but be greedy. Because she did choose me. So she's mine. And I'll do anything to keep her.
Even if that means going to the doctors.
Her eyes open and she peers up to me. Those beautiful watery sapphire eyes filled with so much life and curiosity. She smiles back to me and rests her head against my arm, making me fall in love with her all over again.
"Remember back when I was still new to Equestria and you came to check up on me? For whatever reason you decided to sneak up on me and try a little prank, but I ended up tackling you. And I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I had you pinned down or you were on top of me, but I got distracted by how soft you were! The panic attack I had afterwards had me rolled up into a ball! And you just laid next to me and wrapped me up in a wing-"
"If I remember correctly, you then also felt up my wing too." She says before jabbing my side.
"I definitely remember the way you said my name afterwards-"
"Hush you!" She chastises while covering my mouth. I give her a look before we share a small laugh together. I kiss her hooves before lowering them down.
"I just remember being so nervous about... well, you. There were the obvious things to be worried about. Jail, torture, exile. But what scared me the most was the attraction I had for you. I had never been attracted to someone before then. And to finally feel that way for someone... I didn't know how to deal with it all. Especially with someone of a different species. I spent part of that night enchanting Storms old armor. Actually, I enchanted it several times that night just to distract myself."
"I remember that day. I spent most of my time trying to work up the nerve to go back to speak with you again. Though, that was mostly because I wanted to learn what you knew of my parents. But I also kept thinking back to how your hands felt against my wings. The way your fingers would follow and tease every feather... still sends shivers down my spine."
"Good to know I have the magic tough." I tell her, chuckling for a moment. She looks off in thought for a moment. I watch as she relives a memory that brings a smile to her face. I jostle her and tilt my head to ask her to share.
"I was thinking back... remember that incident with the minotaur?"
"Uh... maybe?" I try to think about whatever she's talking about, but I'm not sure what she's referring to.
"A minotaur randomly appeared in Ponyville and you had an altercation with them. The whole incident nearly had Celestia take you out of my charge. But the next day I couldn't sleep so... heh, so I was scrying you while you were working at Sweet Apple Acres."
"Spying on me that early on?" I joke as I lean in to give her a knowing look. She pushes me back with a nervous smile.
"I didn't know what else to do! I did feel a little bad about it... at first. You were talking to yourself while working. It was... a little cute. But I dropped the spell when you called my eyes beautiful." She tries to look away from me as a small blush starts to grow on her face. I reach over and force her to look at me. I stare deeply into her eyes before cracking a sly smile.
"Just as beautiful as the day we met." She smiles back to me and leans forward to kiss me once again. I pull her in and press into the kiss.
It's hard to imagine that we've been together as long as we have. Six years. In the grand scheme of things it's practically nothing. But it's felt like a lifetime together. So many shared experiences and stories built together. Joy and pain, heartache and love, all grown between two wayward souls.
To think after everything I'd end up where I am now. What could have been if I hadn't explored those energy readings? Or if I hadn't enlisted with the Spartans? What if Celestia had come instead of Luna? So many choices that all added up to this beautiful little moment. I don't want to ruin these kinds of moments. And that's what has me so scared.
The Unfamiliar. Seeing them as... civilians... I can't wrap my head around the concept. I was raised to fight them to the death. Them surrendering was never something that could be conceptualized. And now I have to learn how to accept them living next door. It's... not going to be easy. But...
"Ego amare te" Luna whispers when we pull away.
"Ego amare te magis." I whisper back to her as I lean in and rest my forehead against hers.
"Ego amare te maxime." She responds.
As long as I have her by my side, it doesn't seem so impossible.
A day to relax. Despite everything it came and went pretty quickly. The Spartans finally made it back. Luckily none of them were injured when the dark orb exploded. Once it did explode there was nothing else to learn from that location. Storm Cloud tried to tell me more, but Luna kicked him out. Almost literally. She explained the situation to him outside and wouldn't let me join the conversation. It was... uncomfortable.
I don't like having other people delegate my orders. But, at least in this regard, it had to be done. Storm was... surprisingly happy about the situation. Not the panic attack. But my leave. Said it was time for the Spartans to prove that they can operate without my leadership.
"It's time we showed you that this will outlast you. So leave it to us and come back when your head's in the fight!"
I often worry about that. I'm only human. If I'm lucky I've got forty to sixty years left. And how much of that is going to be spent fighting? What will become of the Spartans once I'm gone? Can they exist without a human? I'll never really know the answer. But this will be a good test for them. It'll let me see what they'll do without me. With any luck, I'll see what changes will need to be made to ensure the Spartans continue on.
Celestia took her time bringing Tempestive back too. We didn't really give a schedule to adhere to, so we didn't say anything when they came strolling in the evening. But the amount of crap she bought him was... I've only heard of Auntie stereotypes before. But Celestia fills the bill perfectly.
An entire day of... relaxing. I was starting to get a little stir crazy by the end. I've spent my entire life scheduling every moment to attempt to maximize my day. Training, researching, enchanting, there's rarely a normal day where I just... well, I mostly just sat on the couch. I tried to work on a few small side projects, mostly house work, but Luna wasn't having it.
So when it finally came time for my appointment with the doctor, I was glad to have something to do finally.
We had Shadow take Tempestive to the park. Figured it would be easier if he wasn't here asking a thousand questions. We have to have these appointments at the house now. The emergency room isn't really meant for this kind of checkup. And the nearest true hospital is in the next town over.
Doctor Monitor. He's an older stallion. I think in his early to mid forties. Which I didn't think was that old. That was until I learned that the average pony only live to about sixty. He wears a doctors coat most of the time, hiding his drab tan coat. His once bright red hair is mostly grey now, but there's still a little red in there. He's got his old stethoscope pressed to my chest as he listens to my heart.
"Heart rates normal." He mutters in his signature gravely voice to the nurse.
Nurse Red Heart is his assistant. She's a much younger nurse. Much younger. I think she's only been practicing for two years now. Apparently they have history together, but I've never learned it. She's all white with pastel pink hair and never goes without her nurses cap.
It's mostly just rumor. But even I speculate that the two of them are in some sort of relationship. And I'm rarely wrong about these kind of assumptions. I'm the best at this game after all. I just don't think they know they're in one yet.
"Blood pressure tracks with previous readings as well." She responds, releasing the strap from my arm and setting it on the kitchen table.
"Okay." Doctor Monitor mumbles as he checks his clipboard. I lean back in my chair and look over to Luna. She offers me a small smile, but the worry is plainly written over her face.
"Here you go, Doctor." Nurse Red Heart says as she passes him a booklet. She walks over to Luna and whispers something to her before escorting her out the room. I feel myself tense up when she leaves. The next part is the only part that I'm dreading.
"Okay Miles, let's get this over with." He mutters as he takes a seat at the table. I turn to face him and take a deep breath.
"Alright... hit me with it." I tell him, trying to steel myself for the conversation.
"Let's start out with the obvious part then. Tell me what happened in your words. The queen told me her account, so let's hear what you've got to say."
I spend the next few minutes recounting the the past few days. The mysterious dark orb in the minotaur lands. Ending up back in Mooseden surrounded by the Unfamiliar. I talked about Shadow and Canterlot, though I try to keep certain personal details out of it. Thinking back; the last few days have been rather busy with little to show for it all.
"Alright." Doctor Monitor says as he finishes up his notes. "Well, in my professional opinion at least, I'd say war fatigue is an obvious condition for you."
"War fatigue?" I think that's the equestria version of PTSD, but I'm not certain.
"Yes. How often would you say you have nightmares? Let's say... over the past year?" His question catches me a little off guard. I take a moment to think on it before giving my best guess.
"I'd say around two times a month. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Depends on how stressful he month was." It doesn't help that it's the same recurring dream either.
"That's a lot, you know that, right?" I shrug back to him. I don't know what constitutes an average amount of bad dreams. Though, I guess I could have asked Luna about that.
"What does that mean though?" He sets the clipboard down and sighs deeply, rubbing his tired eyes. "Doc?"
"Okay, let's cut the crap." He says as he pushes the clipboard aside. "I'm going to medical you for a year-"
"A year!?"
"Yes! A year! And you're going to go talk to a therapist. MINIMUM once a week. After that time then we'll clear you for active duty."
"I can't take a year off!" I yell incredulously. "Are you kidding me!? There's too much at stake for me to take that much time off! I was thinking a week at most-"
"A week!?" Doctor Monitor laughs. "This isn't some broken bone or a bad stomach! You're messed up in the head! And the only way to fix that is to talk it out! Otherwise you're liable to snap and kill innocent people. Is that-"
"No!" I tell him as I slam my hoof down. "A year is too long!"
"LUNA!?" Monitor yells after we stare each other down for a moment. I push back from the table and grumble to myself.
A year!? He wants me to take a whole year off!? Just for one panic attack!? How can he possibly think that such a thing would be allowed!? Where did he even get that number from? One year... it's out of the question!
Luna walks in and tentatively takes a seat beside me. I'm sure she's heard all the yelling so she's got a decent idea of what's going on.
"Please tell your husband that his mental health is important-" Doctor Monitor starts but I cut him off.
"Luna, tell him that a year is too long for me to take off! I have my duties to attend to!"
"You have a duty to this nation-"
"As well as Terradisia-"
"Which I think would also want their leader in good mental health-"
"I'm not a threat!"
"Oh that's super convincing!"
"PRICK!"
"ASSHOLE!"
"ENOUGH!" Luna yells in her royal voice, pushing the two of us back. She takes a deep breath before addressing Doctor Monitor. "Doctor, you are correct in your assumptions. Miles does need to rest and recover. But we need to also be aware of the state of the world. He is needed as both our monarch and the leader of the Spartans... So let's start with this. Miles? Do you agree that you need to seek mental help."
I think about it for a moment. Because of how heated I was I wanted to just outright say no. But the look on Luna's face told me otherwise. I guess I could go and talk with someone. Not for a year, but a few times couldn't hurt. If only to get this over with. I look back to her and nod.
"Okay, so we agree to that much at least. So now we just need to find a common ground of timing..."
"Ten months." Doctor Monitor states.
"A month." I counter.
"Fifty weeks."
"Five weeks." We glare at each other to the point where sparks are practically popping off between us. Luna coughs to get our attention, giving me a knowing look.
"How about this then," She starts. "Six months with limited duty. That meaning that if something comes up that requires Miles's attention then he can attend to it. With minimum weekly visits to a specialist. Is that agreeable to the two of you?"
We glare back to each other before grumbling our agreement. When the room goes quiet I look back to Luna. She's giving me a look before looking to the doctor. I take a deep breath and reach out to him. We shake on it and Luna claps her hooves together in joy.
"Wonderful! Now then, I'd like to ask some quick questions about something else Doctor." This catches the doctor a little off guard.
"Of course, my queen. How may I be of service?" Luna gives me a quick look before continuing.
"We're thinking about having another child. Can you give me your medical opinion on the matter? Would it be too soon for us to try? With Miles's condition and all. Also what can we expect from our second attempt? I've heard rumor that it's not as easy as the first attempts."
The first part throws the doctor for a loop. The last part surprises me too. I've never heard that before. But, now that I think about it, it kind of makes sense. Most siblings out there have several years apart from one another. There are those that are close in age. But the norm seems to be a difference of five years or so. Sweetie Bell and Rarity. Shinning and Twilight. Applebloom and the other Apples. Shit, even Celestia and Luna are a few years apart. I wonder how I never made that connection before.
The doctor takes his clipboard and flips to a new page. He's mumbling to himself a bit before he slams the board down. Luna and I jump a little from this.
"If you were planning on having another child then why would it matter how long you would take off!? Doesn't your... group give the worlds longest maternity leave!?" I go to answer but Luna beats me to it.
"That was more for the immediate situation. Obviously we're not pregnant now so we need to start planning ahead." Couldn't have said it better myself. Monitor just grumbles to himself again before writing down some notes.
"Fine... well, yes. Most families tend to have difficulty having their second foal-"
"Why?" I ask, cutting him off midsentence.
"The reproductive organs shut down after birth and require time to reset for the birthing process. Isn't that how humans are?" I shake my head to that.
That literally made no sense to me... until I remembered something. Ponies were made by humans to be free labor. But they probably wanted to control their population. So they probably made them have periods between births to help in that regard. I wonder if it's the same for all species out here.
"That's not a human thing. A female human can start trying for another child... well, I've read as soon as three to four weeks after giving birth. But they also advocated waiting for about eighteen weeks to finish the healing process. From what I can tell, human births are much more... complicated, than pony births. But that's purely subjective from what I've read."
Doctor Monitor stares at me for a moment before looking to his notes. Most of the pages are just things we've had to teach him about my history and human anatomy. I tried to get him a tablet to make things easier. But after two minutes of trying to learn it he gave up. Said it was too confusing.
"Have you two considered having a human child?" He asks slowly, peering up from his clipboard. Luna and I share a look before I laugh.
"Of course, but that's not really not an option." I tell him.
"Why not? Couldn't you use the machine that turned you into a pony to turn her into a human?" I laugh at his question at first. But then I start to think about it.
Truth be told, I have no idea. It would make sense that they would make it so that it could reverse the effect. But... I have no idea how that would work. We've left the machine alone this entire time becuase we don't want to disturb it. We don't understand enough about it to know what it's capable of. And with it directly under Canterlot, we don't want to attract the wrong attention.
"Look, it was just a thought. But that's for you two to discuss and decide on. To be fair, you're at the point where a second pregnancy would be feasible. And if Miles took that time to also work with a therapist and really focus in on those tendencies, I think it would be invaluable."
"Regardless, here are my orders: Six months rest. Weekly therapist consultations of at least two hour per session. I will contact Storm Cloud to discuss what light work details you'll be available for. After which time we will have a follow up and see where you are. Red Heart! Can you bring me the referrals please?"
Red Heart comes in and offers him a folder. He looks through the pages before placing two in front of me.
"First guy is the best in the industry, has done a lot of research on the subject, and works in Canterlot. But he's a fucking pussy. Second guy is decent but is still green. But he was in the guard for twenty years so there is that commonality at least."
Luna reaches for the first page but Doctor Monitor coughs loudly. They make eye contact for a moment before she slowly reaches for the second page. Monitor eyes her until she grabs the page and then nods in approval.
"Well with all of that settled we'll be getting out of your hair then. Contact me if anything changes. You two have a good rest of your day." Doctor Monitor tells us as he packs up. We wish him farewell but mostly stay quiet. He's put a lot in our minds to consider.
"Oh, before we go!" Nurse Red Heart says as they step through the front door. She reaches into her bag and offers me a red lollipop. "For good luck."
"Um... thanks?" I say as I take it. She smiles back to me before chasing after Monitor. I look over to Luna, who shrugs, before closing the door.
We stare at each other for a moment. Neither of us knows how to broach the subject. Seeing Luna as a human... It never even crossed my mind. Even after my change! I don't know why I didn't think about it, but I guess it didn't matter. Clearly whatever form she takes doesn't matter to me. I fell in love with her while we were completely different species! Why would it matter now!
...
But now that I am thinking about it...
"Have... you ever considered... me being turned human?" Luna asks shyly. She's trying to avoid eye contact while also trying to judge my reaction.
THUD
"MOM! DAD!" Tempestive cheers as he comes barreling in. "We saw the Doctor leaving so we came to make sure nopony is sick! Are you okay? Where did you get a sucker!?" He continues to ask a million questions as he bounces around me. I look over to Shadow as she walks up to the door and mouths an apology. I guess she couldn't keep him back long enough.
"I guess later?" I ask Luna. She nods to me and starts to escort Tempestive inside. I watch them walk as Shadow stands beside me.
"How much did you guys hear?" I ask her.
"I heard that you two want to have another baby. I made sure he didn't hear anything though." I sigh in relief from that. Not that we need to keep it a secret from him. It'll just be easier if we tell him of our own accord.
"How do you feel about that?" I ask, eyeing her to see how she reacts. But she just shrugs nonchalantly.
"Knowing you two, I'm more suspired you haven't had one yet. You're both not exactly... subtle." I go to say something back to her, but lose it before I could. I thought we were always careful to make sure that they never heard us. I guess we weren't careful enough. "You okay?"
"Yeah, chipper as ever." I feel myself flustering from the idea that we've scarred our children.
"What's with the lollipop?" I take a better look at it and notice a faint etching of a heart on the wrapper. Knowing ponies, I decide to check it for any magical properties.
...
"Erm... don't worry about it... Let's... Let's just go get lunch." I tell her as I hide the sucker. I get why she said the last bit now.
As we walk into the kitchen everyone starts to chatter as we move on with our day. I take a seat at the head of the table as a thousand thoughts start to cross my mind. What is our future going to look like? Are we ready for more kids?
What am I going to go for six months?
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