"... so that's the final report, Princess. I'm sorry, but there's no way around it without-"

"I understand, thank you," I cut off the stallion, getting him to bow to me before leaving the throne room. I sit in the throne room and think to myself. This hasn't happened in Equestrian history since... I can't even remember when! It had to happen at least once before though. We have the measures to protect ourselves in this situation, but... I honestly can't remember the last time Equestria was in the red.

Never. Never before has this happened. We've always been so careful in the past. We watched our assets, followed the trading seasons carefully, and we've always had such a strong presence in the world financially. But, like a massive books falling over a row of dominoes, it's all come to a crash. When the griffins needed aid, we helped them without a moment's hesitation. I guess the others found this to be a sign of bad times, because the trade slowly dried up. The bears and apes are saving up for an incoming storm. The minotaurs have moved to take advantage of the griffins. Everypony else has always been self-reliant, rarely trading with us.

I refused to raise taxes though. The ponies of Equestria have taken on such a burden already, I fear what a tax would do to them. The hit isn't too bad, nothing that can't be easily covered by what we've saved thus far. But... when word gets out about this... I need to speak with several officials on the matter. We need to ready ourselves for the turmoil ahead. If my treasurer is correct about what he thinks will happen, this is only the start of it all.

"Princess?" The guard to my side catches my attention as he steps up to me. "We just received a message from the Spartan Captain. He is requesting an audience with you immediately. He... well, it sounded urgent."

"*sigh* Very well. How soon will he be here?" I ask. He moves back a bit and starts to whisper into the bracelet on his foreleg. An addition of Miles's, our guard have been outfitted with two way communication bands. It's proven to be much faster than sending scrolls. The enchantment was actually easy to learn. The hardest part was setting the sales price; as to pay for the spells from Terradisia.

"He should be here within the hour. Do you wish to attend to your next scheduled meeting?" I think about it for a second before nodding to him. What have you done now, Miles? Actually, I'll push that thought aside. Knowing Miles, it can be almost anything.

The door at the end of the hall opens up as Prince Blueblood marches down towards me. I stare at him and remain stoic as he smiles back to me. I do not look forward to this, not one bit.

"Princess." he says with a tilt of the head. I hear one of my guards huff in annoyance, but nod back to him anyway. He's still acting superior.

"Prince Blueblood, what is it you wish to bring to me today?" I ask in my formal tone of voice.

"I have urgent news about the upcoming nation within our borders. It would seem as if the Terradisians are making a move to absorb a family clan into their ranks-"

"I assume you speak of the Apples," I cut him off, making him scoff.

"Of course. Should their entire family-"

"Prince Blueblood, what is it you seek to achieve here today?" I ask shortly, trying to get to the bottom of this already. He scoffs again, making me squint my eyes at him.

"With total honesty, I wish to see what path you will take. Many of the nobles have been made aware - and favorable - of the recent embargo on their lands. Should they be allowed-"

"What embargoes?" I ask, instantly regretting asking him as he smiles back to me. Of course this would happen. Of course it would. He knows something, and I don't. Now he's getting it on paper so he can flaunt it around to the other nobles. If it wasn't bad enough that I had to replace most of them not too long ago, now I have inexperienced politicians vying for power and favor. Blueblood, unchanged from that fiasco, has been having a field day ever since. He probably has more political pull them Luna did prior to her ascension to Queen.

"Well, if you had kept up with current affairs you would know that the Terradisians have not been paying their tariffs, thus earning an audit on their production and manufacturing businesses. Should I explain further or should I continue on with the actual issue?" I squint my eyes at him as I hold back my tongue. I can't afford to irritate the House of Nobles right now, no matter how much I would like to smack that smug look off his face.

"Continue." I never thought I would have such difficulty saying that word.

"It would seem the Apple House is being petitioned to join their ranks. This simply cannot be allowed. That would reduce our own production by five percent at least. This is unacceptable and demands action. What will you do about this?" I stare at him for a brief moment before I close my eyes and let out a long breath. Of course Miles would be trying to do this as well. I had a feeling today was going to be terrible. The Grand Galloping Gala is just around the corner, this is when all of the bad news would start to rise.

"I will speak with their leader and the leaders of the Apple Clan personally. Though I do not wish for such a loss, we will not tether the ponies of this land to any one banner. We are free to make the choices we believe to be best for our loved ones." He smiles and nods to me before leaving.

"Ungrateful little-"

"Temper," I chide my guard, getting him to stand taller. "We must not lower ourselves to his level. Give it time, he will learn the folly of his ways. One way or another."

"Of course, Princess," he replies quickly, adjusting his stance slightly.

"... but yes. Ungrateful indeed." We both share a small chuckle before the sound of jets roars overhead. I nod to my guard and wait for Miles to arrive. For once, can it be something urgently good? Did he find one of the Horsemen? Did he solve the acid rain problem? Is Luna pregnant again? I don't know how that last one isn't true. I swear, they'd make rabbits in spring blush from their... activeness.

After a bit longer waiting and mulling over what could possibly happen, I hear the jets roar again. I guess he will be staying for a time. Odd, but not unwelcome. I take a deep breath and rehearse my lines as I hear the shuffling beyond the doors. I take note of the guards inside communicating and becoming nervous. I think I can rule out anything good happening now.

The doors open and I lose any previous thoughts I might of had. Miles is walking a Kroth man down towards me. He's smiling, overjoyed by all of the sights he's taking in. He only wears a white garb around his waist and has deep etching all over his body. He also has a long white beard going down to his stomach and pure white eyes, the latter of the two putting me on edge. When they make it to the edge of the throne the Kroth man gives a deep bow, catching me further off guard.

"Hi!" he bellows loudly.

"U-Uh... hello there... Um..."

"As promised, any Unfamiliar prisoners are to be brought to you." Miles starts, moving to the man’s side while keeping his weapon aimed at him. "I am here to delegate any meetings you wish to hold with him, as promised. Should you not wish to speak with him, I shall take him to New Garnet for safe keeping. What would you like to do?"

I don't respond to him. Instead I just stand up and approach the two of them. If he is a prisoner, why isn't he in shackles? Also, why does he seem so chipper about being here? With as little as I know about the situation, that leaves me with no choice other than to question him. I really wish Miles would have warned me about this. But, I guess I'll have to wing it.

"What is your name?" Easy enough question to start with. Hoping he can speak Equestrian.

"I have no name. Lost it before my Epiphany. My children call me the Nether Walker." Well, that answers that, then. "Who? Are you?" I pause from his questions. He clearly asked two, but... it must be a language barrier of some sort.

"My name is Princess Celestia. I rule over the lands of Equestria. What sort of Kroth man are you?" My question catches him off guard. He looks back to Miles for a second before looking back to me, tilting his head in confusion. "You are Kroth, are you not?"

"... I am. I must apologize. With the way the human spoke, I assumed you would... not know that title. Where did you learn it?" I glance to Miles before looking back to him. So Miles is still rather racist towards them, that's not surprising. But he doesn't know how I know the title of his people. That's... odd.

"Let's just say a few words have been muttered here and there. Are you a soldier of some kind? Perhaps a deity of sorts?" He chuckles at that.

"No, no-"

SMACK

"Captain!" I yell at Miles. Without a seconds hesitation he smacked the back of his gun against his head, knocking him to his knees. He groans there for a moment, holding his head in pain. "What reason-"

"Keep to the truth, Unfamiliar. The alternative is costly." Miles warns him. He looks back to him in confusion, still rubbing his head.

"I spoke true! There hasn't been a deity for the Kroth since-"

SMACK

"DON'T LIE TO ME YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" Miles yells as he begins to beat the man. "YOU TOLD ME YESTERDAY YOU WERE A HOLY PERSON! WHICH IS IT, ASSHOLE?" Miles yells as he continues to beat the poor man. I try to call him off, but I'm simply not getting through to him.

"I don't understand! *smack* I am a holy person! *smack* I am no Deity! *smack* Why don't you understand? You of all people should understand!" I finally use my magic to pull Miles off.

"Enough, Captain!" I yell at him, stepping between the two of them. "I will not have you abusing my subjects, whether they be citizen or prisoner! If you cannot contain your rage then you can wait outside, understood?" Even though he has that helmet on, I can tell he's glaring down at me. I simply return the glare, waiting for him to make the next move.

"... very well." He backs off, stepping back until he can lean against the wall. I let out a sigh as I look back to the Nether Walker.

"Thank you," he mutters. I nod to him, waiting patiently for him to stand back up. "I do not understand what is lost."

"Well, why don't you explain. How are you holy person without being a deity? Do you worship a deity? Are you religious at all?" He stares down at me in utter confusion, not knowing how to answer. "Um... why don't you explain why the Captain should understand. Perhaps that should clear some things up." He gives another look to Miles before nodding in thought.

"Um... it is as the last human I met said. There is the belief for humans that there is this father that gave his son for others. This made them holy persons. I am a father giving his life for his children... perhaps because it is backwards it is lost, no?" I glance over to Miles, watching him slowly shake his head.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"The Father! He.... uh... he sent his son into hardship! When he died he was a holy person! Or... perhaps I misunderstood? Or is it that I have done it backwards? Eeerrr... it would seem I.... eeeeh... put the fuck up?'

"Fucked up-"

"Yes! I have 'fucked up'! Perhaps you could explain it to me again so I could better understand, yes?" I look back to Miles as he just stands there, shaking his head.

"I think it would be better to use a... more literal explanation," I suggest, getting him to nod happily.

"Yes! Let us project the feces and set down our terms of business! No more round sexual acts, just facts about-"

"Stop.... just stop." Miles mutters, getting the Nether Walker to deflate a bit.

"Eeeeh... yes... well, ahem. I surrendered myself to give my children a head... er, a chance to escape," he tells us. I lean forward a bit as I wait for him to continue, but he just stands there.

"Um... are these children... yours?" I ask to clarify.

"... is that not what I said? Was my English mistaken again? Perhaps-"

"What she means is, are these children your biological children? Are they the products of your DNA?" Miles asks shortly, resting a hand on his pistol. I ignite my horn for a moment to move it a bit higher, getting a look from him. I narrow my eyes at him for a moment before looking back to the Nether Walker. We're going to have a long talk after this... a very long talk.

"Yes. They are all of my... eeeh... I think the word I want is... eeeeh..."

"Family? Like; sons, daughters, wives, cousins, the like?" I ask, getting him to smile.

"Aaaah, yes! Like sons, and daughters, and wives, and cousins, and husbands, and aunts, and brothers-"

"We get it." Miles cuts him off, but fails to make him to deflate.

"They are my family. I surrendered myself to save them, if even for a day. The gold and purple are our... mmmm... loshni, our colors! I am the... eeeeh... father of our Keksh, our... clan!" I stare at his smiling face for a moment before I realize everything he's saying. He's the patriarch of an entire clan of Kroth. An entire lineage stemming from the man standing before me!

"Miles, may I speak with you in private for a moment." I ask before stepping to the side. My mind is racing with all of the possibilities right now! We have a chance to learn and preserve an ancient, alien culture! This... this... I don't know where to even begin! I need to get Twilight in on this! And Luna! Oh! What do we even ask him! We need to get started as soon as possible! I look up and notice that I'm standing by myself. I look back and note how Miles is glaring right at me, even with the mask on.

"Miles! What a wonderful name! But, why is she translating your name? Is not your name in Latin? Most human names are Latin, or so I thought. How would you say Miles in Latin? Or is Miles Latin for something?" I can only smile awkwardly as I feel Miles's glare intensify on me, practically melting his helmet off.

"Ahem... heh... heh, I mean Captain, would you please speak with me in private... please?" He stands there for awhile, glaring at me. The Nether Walker either finds this hilarious, or can't read the subtext of the situation. Though... I never thought about that before. Why is his name Miles? I mean, it could mean something in Latin, and I just don't know. I'll have to ask Luna... assuming Miles doesn't explode on me. "C-Captain?"

"This better be good," he groans before stepping over to me. I walk him over to the other side of the room and take a moment to form my question. I know what he's going to say if I don't ask this the right way. I may only get one chance at this.

"So-"

"No. You can't keep him here to ask questions."

"You put me in charge!" I snap at him.

"Only with my presence!" he snaps back, only with much more real anger. "He is dangerous, Celestia. He cannot be left on the surface. I will not allow a threat like that to exist here. Not this close-"

"Why did you put me in charge if you're going to dictate everything we do?" I ask, stepping towards him. "You were going to drive yourself off the deep end. You came to me to better yourself, and that's why you came back! You don't want to be the monster Terradisia has made you. You want to be better! Let me help you-"

"This is different, Celestia," he says, stepping away for a moment while rubbing his head. "Last time... last time I was wrong. But... he..."

"You came to me to be a better man. I know you are better than this at heart. Don't let your hatred guide you at this pinnacle moment. Think clearly about this, Miles. We can use him to end a war that has raged for millennia. Imagine it, Terradisia in peacetime. No more wars, no more fighting. Just two people coming together to rebuild, casting aside the ashes of past failures. Isn't this what you wanted? Is peace not worth pursuing, even if it's down undesirable paths?" He rubs his head a bit longer, mulling over my words. I glance over to the Nether Walker and see him eyeing the two of us, waiting to see what's going to happen.

"Celestia..." he starts softly, finally looking back to me. "Should this go wrong... you know what we put at risk."

"Are they in any more danger than before? At least this way we can say we tried to end it like decent beings.What if this stops an assassin’s bullet? Or stops them from retaliating? You took one of them, what's to stop them from doing the same? Terradisia raised you to fight. Let Equestria raise you to forgive. I can do this, you just have to trust me." The room goes silent. We both stare at Miles as he stands there, thinking deeply on what I said. I swallow the lump in my throat as I wait for him to make his decision. I don't know how he will process this. He wants to change, he wants to be the hero. But he's been raised to fight these people till the bitter end. Even if he says he'll try, how far can he actually go?

"It's not you that I don't trust," he tries, glancing over to the Nether Walker.

"I have surrendered. On my word, I shall not fight those who hold me captive. Not until I attain my freedom," the Nether Walker tells us with a serious face. "All I have to offer is my word. You spared my children, it is the most I can offer." The room falls silent again. I glance between the two of them as I wait for something to happen. A drop of sweat rolls down the side of my head when I see Miles set his hand back on his pistol. There has to be something more I can give, something to set his mind at ease.

"Three days," I say, gaining both of their attention. "Give me three days. When you return for the Grand Galloping Gala, you can take him where you please. Give me that, please."

"I need assurance. I need... that security. I will not let my family remain within harm’s reach without a failsafe." Miles tells me. The Nether Walker’s eyes brighten for a moment as he starts to walk towards us. Instead of walking all of the way, he simply appears before us. I can see why Miles is so scared of this man now. Instantaneous teleportation, with little to no effort. That's terrifying.

"Make me a death collar," he suggests, getting both of us to look at him oddly. "A... small... explosion, that you put around the neck. With a button! Give Celestia the button. Should I step out of line, she can explode me without a seconds thought. And make it small enough to not explode those around me! No others should be harmed for my misguided actions." I stare at him for a second before a smile forms on me. I feel as if I can truly trust this man, if only for of his selflessness.

"... why are you so willing to kill yourself? You have a family to watch over. Aren't you afraid of what will happen to them?" Miles asks, making him chuckle.

"If I lived in fear of what could happen, I could never step out of my own home. I know my family is strong, they will move on with or without me. But, as Celestia said, if I have a chance at peace, why would I not pursue it? If I can save even one of my keksh, then I have done well by my own. What say you, Mortalis de Bellum?" Miles cringes from that. I ponder it for a second before setting it aside for another time. I feel another droplet of sweat form as I wait for his answer. This is it. Yes or no. All depending on whether or not Miles is savable.

"... I..." Come on Miles, I know you are a better man than this. Please... "Don't move." I gulp when he pulls out his pistol. The Nether Walker and I glance to one another as he begins to fiddle with it. He pulls one of the bullets out and sets the pistol back in its sheath. Using his magic, he warps the case into a thin necklace that hold the metal slug in front. Some black powder falls to the ground, but we ignore it as Miles begins to whisper something to the necklace.

"Miles?" I ask quietly, unsure of what he's doing. He doesn't respond to me. Instead he brings the necklace over to the Kroth man and sets it around his neck, tightening it so it won't come off.

"If the chain breaks, it will set off the round. If a certain word is spoken, it will detonate as well. As one father to another, I trust that you will not do anything foolish." The Kroth man looks up to him in surprise and nods. "Celestia... the password is... my son's full name. Do not let me regret this."

"I won't-"

"I have to get going. Ulfric will hear of this soon enough. I'll... I'll speak to you the next chance I get," Miles tells me before walking towards the doors. I sigh as I watch him go. Our talk is not going to be a short one. But... if it's to make Miles into the stallion he needs to be-

"What is the word the humans had for this? There is a word for it, but I can't recall it..." The Nether Walker mutters as he tries to think of something.

"What are you trying to describe?" I ask.

"Giving away one's... morality. There is a human word for it, I just can't remember what it is... hm... oh well! It seems I forgot! Now then, what shall we do in the mean time?" he asks me joyfully, appearing before me with a large smile. Oh... what did I just sign myself up for?

Never, in all the years that I've lived here, did I ever think I would lower myself to this. I really didn't think it could happen. Even in the most extreme, crazy, most illogical scenarios, I always had a way to weasel my way out of this kind of situation. Most of which involved me sending Miles instead. But here I am. Standing before a brothel waiting for Applejack to meet with me. The stallion performing the audit on Sweet Apple Acres is currently inside, doing who knows what, giving us our best chance to corner him. I just hope we don't catch him... in the act.

"L-luan." I look over to see Applejack standing before me, wearing a large tan trench coat that covers most of her body. She also has a new hat on as well as large sunglasses, a modest attempt to hide herself from the public eye. I simply cut an illusion spell over myself, making myself appear as some light blue unicorn nopony.

"You mean Dew Drop. You know, I can put an illusion spell-"

"It's a bit late, don'cha think?" Applejack asks flatly. Before I could answer, the door opens and out walks a stallion in practically the same exact outfit. The two of them stare at each other before the stallion chuckles and nods his approval.

"Nice coat," he tells her before walking away. Applejack just stands there, unnerved by... that.

"Cast it," she tells me as she starts to remove all of the clothing. I cast the spell and make her appear as a red pegasus. She groans out a response before facing the door. I step beside her and take a deep breath.

"Well... after you... Contrail." I say quietly.

"Queen’s first, Dew Drop," she responds quickly.

"Oh no, I insist," I tell her, nudging her forward slightly. "For the future of your farm, after all." That was a low blow, but I don't care. I'm already stepping into a brothel to talk a pencil pusher out of being a jerk, I can go second. She lets out a slow groan and walks forward, slowly resting a hoof on the handle.

"Are we even sure he's here?" she asks me quickly.

"Oh... he's in there."

"How could ya-"

"Pinkie told me so." She stares at me for a second before sighing in defeat and opening the door. She pauses for a second before shuttering all over and taking those final steps inside. I contemplate heading home for a moment but resign myself to this fate. I already forced her to go in. As a good friend, I shall endure with her. I'm sure a strip club in modern Equestria won't be too terrible for a farming mother and a queen.

"SHAKE THAT FAT ASS GIRL, WOOO!"

"FLICK THAT THICK CLIT!"

"WORK IT, WORK THE POLE!"

"SUCK THAT BIG HORSE DICK!"

"DEEPTHROAT COCKSLUT!"

Applejack and I nearly run straight out the door as the crowd of stallions cheer on the two ponies on stage. Of course there would be some outlandish show going on the moment we walked in here, why wouldn't there be? Our lives would be too simple if that were the case. We glance to one another before heading further inside, trying our best to keep our eyes on the carpet. I, for whatever reason, take a second glance at the stage and watch the two of them go at it. It's just some mare giving oral to a stallion while she masturbates. I suddenly feel much dirtier when I realize I've been in a similar situation. Given, it was with my husband in the privacy of our bedroom, but... still.

"Can I help you two?" I look back when we approach the bar. The dark brown stallion there gives us a warm smile as he shines a glass. I glance over to Applejack before stepping forward to address him.

"Yes, actually. I was wondering if you could help us find somepony-"

"Alright, I'm going to have to stop you there." I stop when he loses the smile and sets the mug down, leaning forward to glare evenly at us. "This is a safe place, okay? You can't come in here and start digging around. You either drink, screw, or get out. We don't tolerate loan sharks, thugs, over-possessive mothers trying to force their children into lives they don't want, or lawyers. So forget about whatever you're looking for, and either order up, lay back, or get steppin."

"..."

"..."

"... lay back?" Applejack asks.

"Ya' know... like... to screw-"

"What wines do you have?" I ask quickly, trying to change the subject. I don't think Applejack will take kindly to... do that.

"What are you looking for? We don't actually have the biggest listing right now-"

"Just give me what you think would be good for right now. Something red, Contrail?" I ask, having to nudge Applejack to get her to look at me.

"Oh! Uh... cider?" He nods to us and heads to the back. I let out a long sigh and try to ignore the commotion going on behind me. It's a bit difficult to do so when the crowd practically yells every little action going on. AJ and I glance to one another several times as we try to think of something to say, but we can't get past our blushes. It doesn't help that curiosity is trying to get the best of me right now. For reasons I can't fathom, I want to watch. But I don't want anypony knowing that I'm watching. Is that normal?

"First time here?" some mare asks as she takes a seat beside me. She's a light cream earth mare with deep scarlet hair that's cut short. She has a mark of two sugar cubes.

"Yeah," I mutter, trying not to turn my head too much. She laughs a little, reaching over the counter to grab a bottle of beer. I don't think you're suppose to do that.

"You can look, you know. Nopony here is going to judge you for being curios." I smile and nod to her, keeping my gaze just below the mirrored wall. She laughs again, twisting the top off the beverage. "Name’s Sugar."

"Dew Drop, and this is my friend Contrail." AJ leans forward to tip her hat, getting Sugar to tip her drink back.

"I'm going to take a guess and say you're never done stuff like that before, have you?" she asks with a slight chuckle before taking a drink. Neither of us respond, making her laugh a bit harder. "No, that's not it then. Hmm... oh! You're both mothers, aren't you?"

"Y-yeah." AJ answers, to which I nod.

"How many, foals that is?"

"One," AJ tells her.

"Two," I answer.

"Hm, I have two myself. One’s fourteen, the others six. Both boys, you?" I look over to AJ before looking back to Sugar, easing into the conversation a bit more.

"Boy and girl. The girl is fourteen now while the boy is six," I tell her, making her smile.

"Mine's three. But ah got plenty of other ones running around the house too. From the family that is."

"Aw, I always wanted that. Big family all in one spot. Must be nice. Mines all over Equestria. We try to keep in contact, but who has the time to send that many letters? I have a hard enough time trying to keep my boy out of the fridge." I laugh at that, knowing all too well about the pains of a growing colt. "My older one actually just got into the Canterlot weather team though-"

"He's a pegasus?" I ask, getting her to nod.

"Mhm, pegasus, weather pony, and a pain in my flank! But, he's sweet and writes often so I can't complain too much." I smile at that sentiment, thinking on the future for myself. "Fourteen year old girl though, she out on her own or finishing up school?"

"Finishing school. She had a late start, but she's ready to go to any college out there, baring she actually tries to leave." AJ chuckles at that, knowing all too well about Shadow’s overt shyness.

"You don't hear that every day. I know when I was that age I was ready to see the entire-"

"Sugar, what did I tell you about taking from the bar?" The bartender asks when he returns with our drinks.

"What? It's my day off and Mint's off with his dad, cut me some slack!" He rolls his eyes, moving down the bar to clean more glasses. I eye her a bit before sharing a glance with AJ. She seems to have the same concern as me, but doesn't seem to want to say anything.

"Um... Sugar? Are... you... a... a um... are you-"

"The politically correct term is escort," she cuts me off with a smile. I feel all of my previous apprehensions build right back up. I had no idea that she was an... escort. "Is that a problem?"

"What? No! I mean... is it?" I ask quickly, almost instantly regretting it. My cheeks begin to burn from the awkwardness of the situation. She laughs at me, taking a large gulp of her beverage before setting the bottle down. I glance back to AJ and see her in a similar state as myself. At least I'm not alone in this.

"Would you believe me if I said I actually like my job?" she asks, getting bewildered looks from the both of us. "The escort industry isn't what it used to be, not by a long shot. Ever since Cheesus came into the picture there's been a drastic change in things here."

"How so?" AJ asks.

"Well... where to start... I have dental." I blink at that, not completely understanding what she means by that. "There's a system for this. Constant medical check ups, the best security short of the royal guards, therapy if needed, I can even apply for loans and stuff like that!" I blink a few more times, still not comprehending what she's saying.

"... but... y'all have ta... do that,." AJ clarifies, getting a shrug from Sugar.

"Yes and no. Doing that will get you there much faster. But you don't have to do those things to get all of that help. There are plenty of background jobs that need to be done as well. Carriage pullers, tax filers, painters, there's a lot to these jobs. Heck! Tap over there is working off a student loan! Not to mention he's using his skill to pay for his brewer’s degree."

"You can get a degree in brewing beer?" I ask, getting a groan from the stallion.

"It's not for brewing beer. It's for wine. I studied viticulture, I make wine," he complains, getting Sugar to roll her eyes.

"I pulled a loan for my home, my son’s education, and I plan on doing the same for my second son! Even better, I get to sell my baked goods to the other escorts here as well. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a baker? Even before the food depression, that market was impossible to get into! Yeah, there were tough days. I mean, no matter what, at the end of the day I get paid to lay on my back. There were plenty of times I wondered if this was the right thing to be doing. But, I quickly realized that there aren't many others out there willing to help no name ponies. Plus, Cheesus made this work safe. I don't have to worry about some scumbag skirting out on the bill. I don't have to worry about getting sick. I don't have to worry about being raped!"

"... oh." That's pretty much all I can muster after all of that. I didn't know it was like that. I was actually assuming the worse actually. The whole... rape, money issues... she didn't say anything about drugs though. But... I'm assuming they aren't allowed here. "I'm sorry we assumed that."

"Don't be. I'm sorry for going off on you two like that. I just... get heated when ponies try to assume the worse about us,." She tells us, holding her drink between her hooves. We all share a moment of silence as we stare at our drinks together. She's doesn't seem like a bad pony. And I guess I made some rude assumptions when she told me her profession.

"Tap, I need another." Sugar tells him, pushing her bottle forward. I look down to my drink and frown for a moment before downing the rest of it in one go. The others give me shocked looks as I try to keep a straight face, but that's the largest amount of alcohol I've had in awhile.

"Me too,." I tell him weakly, trying to keep my head straight. "But... can I have one of your wines?" He cracks a smile at me, heading towards the back.

"Me too!" AJ yells, downing her cider shortly after. We all share a small laugh, letting the tension melt away.

"Hey, do you girls have to be anywhere today?" Sugar asks excitedly.

"We both actually cleared up our day to... deal with something here today. But... since it's not happening, yep. All clear. Why?" I ask. Sugar looks over our shoulders before looking back to us with an evil smile. Confused, I look over and see three stallions at the other end of the bar, eyeing us. I feel my cheeks begin to burn when I notice that they're all sizing us up, waiting for the right moment to start flirting with us.

"Want to have some fun?" I begin to go dizzy from this. I haven't had a stallion eye me like that... ever. Even when Miles was at his... peak of flirtiness, he never looked at me like that. They look as if they're about to conquer a nation... somewhat true in my case.

"Ah'm married," AJ points out quickly. "Happily married."

"Yes, same here... plus..." I bite my lip as I think about my next few words carefully. I feel like I'm talking to a safer Regina right now. Plus... it's not like they'll know who I'm actually talking about.

"Plus?" Sugar asks eagerly. I feel my cheeks burn up as our drinks are set before us. I take my glass and take another large sip, feeling the alcohol add to my confidence.

"Plus... I doubt any of them will... fill my husband's shoes." I have to take another drink when the silliness of the statement gets to me. I've never talked to anypony about Miles like that outside of Regina! It feels... so naughty! Applejack scoffs out a laugh as Sugar giggles herself. I try to hide my smile, but can't help but laugh when Sugar nudges me.

"How big are we talking?" she asks, making AJ laugh.

"Ya wouldn't ba-lieve her if she said," she tells her, making her laugh a bit more.

"So you've shared," she teases, making me laugh.

"No, no, nothing like that. It's just... my husband and I have a tendency to... get caught, in the act," I tell her, making her smirk at me.

"Right, nopony is setting that up," she teases before taking a drink. She motions to the stallions and smiles. One of them, a light orange pegasus, has worked up the nerves to approach us. We all share a small laugh until he stops before me, pausing to see what he says.

"Hey there, mind if I buy you a drink?" he asks me as suavely as possible. I can't help but giggle as I look to the others for help. AJ shrugs while Sugar motions for me to roll with it. I could just tell him I'm not interested... but where's the fun in that?

Fun in that? I might be a larger lightweight when it comes to alcohol than I previously thought.

Heh, larger lightweight-

"Should I take that as a yes then?" he asks, bringing me back. I take another drink and decide to take him for a run.

"But I already have a drink," I tell him sweetly, taking a light sip from my glass. He chuckles at that, then mulls over his response for a second. I look over to AJ and see her shocked look. I shrug to her and turn back to the stallion as he begins to talk.

"How about I take the tab for that one and we go have a talk somewhere more private then? Get to know one another," he suggests, making me chuckle out a hum. Not bad, but not great.

"What about my friends? It would be rude to leave them," I tell him, making him perk up.

"Well, I have some friends that can keep them company while we talk. I know they'd like to say hi," he tells me, getting them to rush over to his side and offer their best smiles. I laugh a bit more at his persistence. I bet this works on other mares, but I have eons of diplomatic experience under my belt. Lets see if I can use those here.

"Hmm... as tempting as that seems, I don't think I'll be leaving my friends side any time soon." I tell him, getting AJ to finally chime in.

"I dunno, Dew Drop, he seems like he really wants ta talk ta ya." I lean over and see that he's sporting an erection. I assume he's well endowed. But, sadly for him, I'm comparing him to Miles. Alicorn physiology wins the day yet again.

"Heh, sorry about that. It has a mind of its own," he says modestly. He doesn't try to hide it, telling me he's quite proud of it. Hmm...

"Sorry boys, but my friends and I are just having some drinks. Maybe another time," Sugar tells them, getting disappointed looks from them. I feel like I just took a bone away from Lupus... heh, bone... oh lord. Is this my sense of humor after two glasses? Maybe I should slow down a bit.

"Alright ladies, next time," he tells us before they take their leave. Surprising he didn't persist. Then again, Sugar is a worker here. If she says no, they probably know what that means.

"So, girls, either we pay our tabs and head out, or..." Sugar suggests, pulling out her purse to god through it. "Or, we take this key, go to my personal room, and pound a few more away."

"Ah'm not a lesbian-"

"I meant drinks," she tells her flatly, making me chuckle.

"Oh... well... Dew?" I mull it over for a second before looking over to my nearly empty glass. Logically, we should call it a day and head back. But, logically of course, how many days do we get to just goof off? I had to plan ahead to get this day ready, might as well use it.

"Oh, why not. I have the day cleared, may as well use it. Right?" I ask AJ. She thinks about it for a second before shrugging along. Sugar giggles and leads us upstairs. I can't help but feel like a filly about to get a present for some reason. Maybe it's because I haven't had a day of fun since... more than a year at this point.

"Ladies, room sixty-nine! A room I had to work my tail off to earn!" she tells us as she escorts (heh, escorts) us in.

"Pfft, please. Spreadin’ yer legs and lyin’ about how good a rutting it was is not hard work," AJ teases, making her laugh.

"Maybe not, but I've got some tricks that might make your vanilla lives turn to dark chocolate." I laugh at that, thinking back to Regina.

"My other friend says I'm too vanilla... maybe I'd like to hear more about this dark chocolate." Sugar gives me a knowing smile before shutting the door behind us. This... is going to be fun.

Guard duty at Fort Corium Gutter is as boring as ever. Frank, Sledge, and I have been taking turns on watch. Luckily nothing has decided to bother us-

"SQUUUUUAAAWWWK!" Except Dusts newest little nuisance. I give it another glare as it sits there, my helmet nestled between its front legs. Bastard.

"Any activity?" Franks asks with a yawn as he steps into the tower with me. I shake my head and look back out to the Badlands. The morning sun is finally coming back up, meaning I get to go to bed now. I turn to leave when Frank quickly sets a hoof on my shoulder. "Take a look at that."

"*Sigh* of course it would happen at the end of my shift," I groan as I turn around and look out there again. I don't see anything moving. Nothing in the air either. "What am I looking for?"

"Oh, right. No helmet. Uh... I have a group of armored goblins moving our direction about five kilometers out. Roughly ten of them. By the looks of it they should be here within the hour." I let out a groan as I continue on my way out. I guess I can sleep when I'm dead then, perfect. I head to the barracks where I kick Sledge awake. He jumps a bit at first, but calms down enough to glare at me.

"What was that for?" he demands, getting me to glare at him.

"Wanna ask that again, private?" He swallows the lump in his throat before answering.

"U-uh, sorry sir. What's happening, sir?" I shake my head at him and toss his helmet into his lap.

"Suit up, we have goblins incoming." I leave at that. I make my way up the tower and stand beside Frank as we watch the small dust column grow. It doesn't take Sledge long to join us, but when he does, he lets out a low whistle.

"Shit, what do you think they want?" he asks.

"They're probably just here to check up on their mining operations," Franks tells him, getting a thoughtful nod from him. "What do you think, True Will?"

"I think... we need to gear up. Even if they are here with peaceful intentions, we have an image to keep up. I want us decked out with weapons hot, you have five minutes." They both nod and run off to gather more of their supplies. I just stand here as I watch them get closer. I've seen that kind of formation from them before. They're here for a fight. But those two are still fresh. Telling them that would only scare them. Even after all of that training, true combat has a way of getting into a pony’s head. And this looks serious.

When they gather their gear we stand in the tower and wait for them to approach us. The vehicles they're riding are strange, to say the least. It looks like they're riding a single cog that stands perfectly upright. The seating area bulges out at the inner bottom part as they tear through the earth at high speed. Four small smoke stacks go out behind them and leave a trail of white smoke with all of the dust they're leaving behind. The loud vehicles come to a stop just before the fort walls and stay standing. I see the goblins quickly dismount and form up just before their vehicles, putting on some heavy armor. They don't move yet, obviously waiting for us to come out to them.

"I'm going down there to talk with them. You two stay up here and get ready to fire when the shit hits the fan." I tell them, getting them to raise their weapons. There's ten of them, this shouldn't be too hard. Hopefully they just want to know about their countrymen and leave at that. Here's hoping.

FLASH

"Hm, sprechen kobold?" I take a quick look over each of them. Their armor seems to be made of brass and has a few points where it spikes out. They each wear red capes and carry a large array of weapons. Pistols, rifles, grenades, and other various melee to name a few. The one that spoke I assume to be the leader, due to the long, red plume on the top of his helmet. I stare at him, waiting to see what he does. "Didn't think so. I am Hauptmann Cogswheel of Stake's Storm Troopers, who am I speaking with?"

"I am Captain True Will of the Spartan Phalanx, to what purpose do you approach Fort Corium Gutter?" I keep myself standing tall, only facing Cogswheel. I'll let the others worry about his subordinates for now.

"We received a distress call from our mining operations out here. Shadows, nasty business really," he tells me with a sly grin. I remain stoic, letting him continue. "It would seem they did not make it to the ends of their contracts-"

"That doesn't answer why you've come to this outpost," I cut him off shortly. He grits his teeth for a second before returning to his previous grin.

"With your outpost in such close proximity, we were wondering if you happened upon any survivors." At my silence he nods and looks to the others, getting a few of them to nod. "Very well then. Would you perhaps offer sanctuary for my troops and I? The Badlands can be... troublesome."

"Only on the conditions that you leave your weapons and armor outside the premise during your stay." I'm not worried about a bunch of goblins sleeping in our bunks. But I am worried about letting ten armed goblins into our compound. That simply won't-

"SQUUUA?" I feel my eye twitch when I hear that damned creature squawk again. Of course it's going to act up now. Why wouldn't it? I glance back to see it perched on the walls, eyeing the goblins closely as it hunches its shoulders.

"My my, would you look at that. A crystal drake. And a sapphire one at that! It must be our lucky day," Cogswheel says, getting the other goblins to chuckle with him. "You wouldn't happen to be keeping that thing, would you?"

"..." I don't quite know how to answer that. I don't want the damned thing, but I don't want to help these guys either. Plus, Dust would be pretty upset with me if I let them kill it. "We are." He chuckles at that, making me nervous.

"That's a shame."

BANG

I go wide eyed when the puff of smoke blinds me for a second. It wafts forward for a second before it slowly glides around the small shield before me. A small net of cracks form right before my neck, barely holding the metal ball in place. The gem on my chest crumbles away, ending the spell. I charge my horn and teleport away just as a few more shots are fired. I feel one ping off my flank, but it bruises me at best. I appear on the top of our outer wall between Frank and Sledge.

"You alright, Will?" Frank asks. I look down and feel my neck before nodding to him. That was close, way too close.

"Orders, sir... oh shit." I look out at Cogswheel and watch as arcs of electricity jump from spike to spike all over his body. The goblins next to him slam their fists against their chests and have similar effects happen, only much worse when the arcs start to wildly jump from goblin to goblin. "I guess we know why they're called Storm Troopers then-"

"Open fire already." As Sledge begins to fire his machine gun down at them, they all suddenly leap high into the air. Large springs recoil back into their boots as they begin to fall back towards the ground. I whip out my sword and jump back as two goblins land before me. Before I could act, the crystal drake snaps forward and engulfs the foremost goblin in one bite-

BOOM

I gawk as a large burst of electricity explodes outward, shattering its head off. Its body falls limply to the ground, leaving Cogswheel before me. He grins as he spins his spear around, stepping towards me. I start to charge my sword-

FWT-TNK

I lose my breath when the end of the spear burst forward, impaling itself into my armor. I charge towards him to begin engaging him, only to have an arc of electricity jump at the spear end and shock my entire body. I fall limply off the side of the wall, falling straight to my back. Everything remains a blur as more shots ring out all around myself. I try to get back on my hooves, shaking the initial shock off.

"Get up Will!" Sledge yells as he forces me up. I blink a few more times before reaching for my sword, finding it missing. "You'll have to cast for the time being, now fight!"

I look up as four goblins land in the open area before us. I charge my horn and send a blast of energy at the closest one, sending him reeling back a few feet. The others all fire spear ends at us, all of which stick into Frank’s shield when he suddenly drops before us. Because he's a moose, his hooves don't fit around small gun grips. So he's wields a Legion bots tower shield in his left and a club in his right. The club was special made by Miles to bend to Frank’s will. Right now it's going at a right angle with a ball forming at the end.

He rushes forward and engages the next closest goblin, swinging his shield around madly. It catches him right in the center and sends him flying back. All of the arcs of electricity funnel in at the spear points, keeping Frank relatively safe from their effect. As Sledge begins to fire on one of the other goblins, the other one tosses his spent spear towards us. It makes a connection that shocks me again, stopping me from casting for a moment. I drop down as the two of them finish off the last goblin, presumably with Sledges machine gun fire. When everything goes quiet I pick myself up and look around for my sword, spotting it on top of the wall.

"Where did the other five go?" Sledge asks as he changes gems in his gun. I teleport up top-

VRRRRRUM

I nearly lose my head when one of their vehicles roars past me. The other four follow right after it, driving straight into the wall and then right up to the top. These vehicles seem to remain rooted in the ground. They go up and over quickly, racing around the interior at high speed. I try to watch them closely, but the air is filled with a thick layer of dust and smoke. I can hear more gunfire and arcs of electricity ringing out beneath us, but can't get a good read on any positions.

BOOM

I look back and see two figures flying towards our position. A moment later Spike and his girlfriend land beside me. Spike sends a few more blasts of energy, but stops when I get in the way.

"We have friendlies in there!" I yell at him, getting a nod in return.

"What's the plan?" I look back in and try to think. We need to get them out of there. I don't know how to summon other people, and I don't have visual to teleport.

"RAH!" Spike’s girlfriend suddenly launches herself into the fray. I blink a few times before I see a few spots where spouts of fire burn through the dust. After a few more bursts she suddenly flies into the air, carrying Sledge in her arms. She brings him over and drops him beside me before flying back in.

"... I like her," he states before getting back on his hooves. He's lost his machine gun somehow, but still has his warhammer. "Where did you pick this one up?"

"..."

"Once she gets Frank out of there I'm going to teleport us inside the barracks. Their vehicles won't be able to fit in there and we'll be able to re-arm ourselves. Got it?" Sledge nods to me, readying his hammer in his hooves. "Spike, get airborne and be ready to attack the first goblin you see." He nods to me as well, jumping into the air. We watch as the yells and arcs of electricity intensify beneath us. I grit my teeth as I wait for that dragon to pop up. What is taking her so long? All she has to do is grab him and fly off, what could they possibly have that could stop her?

I jump slightly when something slams into the wall. I race to the tower as the vehicles begin to race over again. I try to blast one of them with my magic, but miss completely due to their speed. They race by the other vehicles and drop-

KA-BOOM

We all duck down when they all go up in flames. I feel the heat wash over my armor for a second before finally fading away. I grab Spike before he could get back up and hold him down. Shrapnel rains down on us for a moment, but once it ceases I let go of him and stand. I look out to them and watch as they race away, cheering triumphantly. Why are they so happy? They lost at least four soldiers, this couldn't have been a victory... unless...

I look back over as the dust begins to settle. The dragon is kneeling over Frank as he lays there on the ground. He isn't moving, and there's a large pool of blood around him. I stare at him for a moment before teleporting down to his side. His right foreleg has been cut off. The stump has been seared to stop the bleeding, but he isn't moving. I reach down and remove his helmet. He... he's...

"No... no, he'll be fine, right?" Spike asks as he lands quietly behind me. I reach down and feel his neck, waiting to see if I failed again.

...

Come on... don't let me fail again... I can't lose another one... not after Daisy...

...

...

Please...

...

...

...

thump

I let out a deep breath as I begin to leave Sweet Apple Acres. It's nice to hang out with Applebloom and the girls, even if we're doing chores. It keeps my mind off of other things. Namely, Diamond Tiara. She has been brutal in her attempts at vengeance! Following me after school, lurking around my usual hang outs, she even tried to find me in Mooseden! Mooseden! I haven't slept well ever since! Even if Azzeal scared her away, I constantly have this nagging feeling that I'm being watched! The girls have been with me constantly, but that's not helpful either! I need alone time! So now they think I'm going to the bathroom instead of bucking trees. I'll come back soon enough, I just need a moment to myself.

I don't know how I'm going to reason with her. She isn't thinking rationally, so there isn't any rational way to approach this. Maybe I should just apologize and let her punch me. I'll fall to the ground and curl into a ball, waiting for her to leave me be... no. Dad would never let that slide. And of course he'd find out, one way or another.

'Why'd you let her hit you? Why didn't you fight back? Shadow, you have to stand up for yourself! You're a Terradisian, you don't just let ponies walk all over you! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!' Yeah, I don't need to hear that right now. There has to be another way around this. Someway I can get out of this without having to get in a fight.

"Sup," some dark grey unicorn says to me as he walks past me. I nod to him, barely paying...

"Wait a minute," I mumble to myself as I turn and look back to him. I look down to his mark and remember the star with an eye inside it. I know this stallion, but from where? "Wait a minute!" I yell before teleporting in front of him.

"Sup?" he asks with a tilt of his head.

"You're the pony that's been stealing from Mooseden!" I accuse, pointing a hoof at his chest. He simply tilts his head, eyeing me oddly.

"Oh! I know you! You're that mare banging Rumble-"

"I'm not with him!" I yell, taking a step back as I begin to blush deeply. "And don't make this about me! Stop stealing from my home!"

"Okay."

"I mean it! We've already called the- wait what? Okay? What do you mean okay?" I ask, tilting my own head. He merely shrugs, stepping around me peacefully.

"I mean okay. I won't steal from your home anymore." I follow after him, eyeing him closely.

"... just like that?" I ask skeptically.

"Just like that," he confirms. I follow after him for a few more moments before scoffing at him.

"Why am I even talking to you? You're a criminal, you're just lying to me-"

"If that's what you believe-"

"It is what I believe! Don't condescend to me!" I demand, making him shrug again. "What does that mean!?"

"What?" he asks, pausing to look at me with those innocent yellow eyes.

"That... shrug you do! Stop doing that!" I demand, making him shrug again. I growl in frustration as he begins to walk off again. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Why do you care?" he asks, turning around to get in my face. All of my previous confidence falters as he uses his height to tower over me. I hate being short, so much. "I'm just a criminal, right? I lose any credibility because of that, right? Why do you care where I'm going?"

"B-because! This is my friend’s farm! I don't want you taking anything from her or her family!" I yell back, trying to get in his face. I don't quite make it there, but I try nonetheless. He stares down at me for a moment before chuckling.

"You know, you're cute when you're mad," he tells me, smiling down at me. I back away from him again as my face heats up. Is he seriously hitting on me right now!? Seriously!? "Wanna go out some time?"

"W-WHAT!?" I yell, falling to my haunches in shock. He cannot be serious right now, he can't! Before I could form a response an orc walks out from the tree line. He eyes the two of us for a moment before dropping a bag next to the stallion.

"Star Gazer," he mumbles with a nod.

"Brosh," he nods back, picking up the bag with his magic. "So, is that a-"

"NO! NO! N... NO!" I yell as I back away from him, shaking my head. He chuckles again before charging up his horn.

"Well, maybe another time then." With that he teleports away. I sit there, completely blindsided by the whole exchange. What did he think would happen right then? I'd just swoon over him and go out with him? Really? Really?

"*sigh* I need to talk to somepony," I mumble before I head into town, knowing exactly where I want to go. I just hope he isn't busy with anything else right now.

"... anph that'sh when I told her I'd try it, jush a teeny tiny bit. And it was wonderful! But Miles would never do that. He'sh too vanilla!" Luna complains from the bed as she rolls over to lay on her stomach. Five glasses of wine and a shot of whiskey and she's pretty much gone. I didn't think she'd lose it this quickly, but she did. Given, this was some pretty strong wine. But, I had more than her and I'm just a bit tipsy. I started to take it slow when I realized I was going to be the one to take her home. A bit of salt on the wound, given what we came here to do.

"Hm, so the Lunar Princess likes a bit of weed, go figure," Sugar muses, sipping her drink slowly. Once Luna was overboard she dropped the spell over us. Sugar... was surprisingly okay with it. It didn't even faze her really. But she did make a note to apply both of the locks to the door. Something I appreciated. "What about you, AJ, any crazy stories like... that?"

"Hamsterdam!" Luna cheers, raising a hoof before flopping back onto the bed.

"Nah, never. Had plenty a chances though. Ah got family that grows it, out in the mountain-"

"Wait. Your family grows the Appleacian kush?"

"Ah guess? Ah don't know what they call it."

"They're the providers for us. It's good stuff. Plus, they don't lace it with anything-"

"Y'all sell drugs here?" I ask in surprise.

"Just the legal ones, so don't worry about that. Plus we make you sign waivers and stuff...though it's not hard to actually get some. Anyway, back to your story-"

"Welp! That'sh when Regina and those four other griffins-"

"Your story," Sugar tells me, ignoring Luna. I take another drink before continuing.

"Well, we traced the auditor here. We wanted to talk to him and try to convince him to extend his inquiry. That would buy us time to figure out a loophole. If he doesn't though... we'd be forced into bankruptcy. We'd lose the farm, the house, everything! We don't have that kind of money!"

"How much is it? If you don't mind my asking." I shrug to her, not caring if she knew.

"Two billion bits-"

"By the sisters’ cunts!" she exclaims, nearly spitting her drink out.

"Hey!" Luna complains, tucking her tail in.

"Sorry," she apologizes, getting Luna to get back to fall back down. "Two billion? How could it possibly be that much?"

"They're taxing us from the beginning of our joint citizenship at today's prices-"

"They can't do that! Shouldn't it be at the prices they were sold?"

"Even if it was, we'd still lose everything. We don't make that kind of money, plain and simple. That's why we need ta talk ta this pony. We need to find a way out of this without causing a ruckus." She leans back in her lounge chair and thinks to herself. I nestle myself deeper into my seat as well, at a loss for answers.

"Can't Celestia and Luna help you?"

"If they did, the nobles would be on us like stink in a outhouse. An ah won't put mah son through that. We have ta find another way." She nods to me, thinking deeply to herself.

"Well... what... well..." she looks away from me, trying to decide on something. I wait patiently, trying to see where she does with this. "What I am about to offer can get me fired from here. But, what if I convince him to stay longer. I might only be able to get you a day of two, but it's more time." I blink a few times as I realize what she's offering to do.

"Sugar, y'all don't have ta subject yerself ta that. We can-"

"AJ, it's nothing I haven't done before. And I'm sure he won't be the worst out there. I know a trick or two to speed things up too. By the sounds of it, that's all he wants anyway. I'm a top tier escort. He'll jump at a chance at me."

"What makes ya top tier?" I ask, slightly confused. How could one cooter be better than another? She chuckles at me, taking another swig of her drink.

"AJ-"

"Muscle contractions!" Luna yells excitedly, looking back to us.

"Umm.... yeah, there's that." Sugar agrees. Luna gives a yes before flopping back down. "Trust me though, I can get at least a day or two. A whole week depending on how deep his pockets are. I have to do this kind of work anyway, why not help a friend along the way?" I feel myself pause at that. I didn't think we'd be friends this quickly. Acquaintances, easily. Friends? I'm not against it, it just... was sudden I guess.

"Do... do ya really not mind?" I ask quietly. She puts on a smile before getting out of her seat. She walks over and pulls me in for a tight hug, one that I return easily.

"I don't mind at all." She gives me a few pats on the back before letting go of me. I cough a few times from the awkwardness of the situation. I never thought I'd be friends with an escort, let alone putting the fate of my farm in her hooves. Friendships are weird like that I reckon. "But if you could throw one of those cute Spartans my way, we'd be best friends forever."

"Ah'll keep that in mind," I tell her with a laugh. We both chuckle as we return to our seat. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my back. Not the entire load, but enough to feel like less of a burden.

"Hey," Luna calls out seriously, rolling to her side to look at us. "Stay away from the human, that's my man." We both laugh at that, getting her to puff her cheeks. "I'm serious."

"Alright, this is my place! The bedrooms are upstairs, kitchen in the back, and the living room is off to the side. Make yourself at home!" Tempestive tells me as we walk into their home. I take a look around and note the... simplicity. It isn't somewhere I really thought royalty would be raised. Then again, that is exactly why they came here. I guess it's just odd to see the residence of a queen. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, no. Thank you. I think we can just wait for your mother to return in the living room," I tell him as I move towards the couch, noting how worn it is.

"My mom won't be back for awhile," he tells me as he takes a seat on one of the recliners.

"... what?"

"Yeah, remember? I told you I was supposed to be at Sweet Apple Acres. Mom and Mama Applejack had to run a few errands, so I was going to stay at the farm. But a bunch of chores came up, everypony got distracted, so I started walking around Ponyville. I have no clue when she's coming home." I blink a few times as I think about that. This may take a bit longer than I thought it would... no matter! The reward will be worth the time. I'll just have to entertain this foal for... awhile.

"Yes... well... uh... where is that guard with your treat?" I ask, getting my other guard to shrug.

"It's not that big of a deal. He probably just has to deal with Pinkie first. That can take awhile." I nod to that, thinking back to the reports I had read about the bearers. It was supposed to be done in secret. But Pinkie found my agent... rather quickly. Though, she thought the entire ordeal was a game and has kept it to herself. "Do you wanna play a board game?"

"Um... of course. What game would you like to play?" He grows a large smirk when I ask him that, making me question what's about to happen.

I bit my hoof as I run the other through my mane, thinking deeply on the choice I have to make. He decided to play a game called 'Three Tribes'. Basically the game is played on a map of Equestria where your goal is to unite the tribes. Each faction has its own benefits, but I sided with the Unicorns with little thought. Now it would seem my mistake has taken its toll. Without knowing what my factions specializes in, Tempestive has taken over two thirds of the map. One of my guards was playing as well, but he quickly lost to Tempestive's ruthless invasion. I hold the southern region, though my forces are small.

"Your move," he tells me smugly, biting into his treat slowly. I look over the board more closely and contemplate what to do. I don't have the numbers to attack, meaning I should shore up my defenses. But, that also leaves me open to invasion. I should also expand towards his exposed left flank, but I don't have the resources to contain that. It would allow me to build up my main land though, should I succeed. Should I fail, it will cost me the game.

"Hmm..."

"You really should just surrender," Tempestive offers me with a slight chuckle. I roll my eyes at that, knowing that there has to be a way to win. "I will literally run you over next turn. You let your ground forces get decimated to protect your Magii, and now you don't have any high defense pieces left. You could spend your turn making them, but they would only prolong the inevitable. I'll have my wall of forces at your capitol by the time you have the numbers to attack, and by then it'll be too late. Surrender will at least let you score in the end. There isn't anything wrong with second place."

"A Prince never surrenders," I tell him as I mull over his words. It's true. If I don't get those pieces out there soon, I'll lose to him. But I can't afford to wait for this chance to strike. If I defend, it'll only be a matter of time.

"How did you get so good at this?" the guard that lost asks Tempestive, making him laugh.

"Please, you should see my dad play this. He would have won by now! He knows all the moves before they're even made! I think that's why he doesn't like this game, it's too easy for him. He once had this idea to make more units to make the game..." I drone him out as I try to think of a way out of this mess. Though only my guards are here, I seriously cannot lose this game to a six year old. Even if he's a Prince. It would stain my own image, my intelligence, and my pride! There has to be a way to win-

THUD

A light thud from the door catches our attention, followed by some snickering. We all look to each other before one of my guards got to answer the door. Before he could, Queen Luna opens it and falls through, giggling to herself as she lays there. Two other mares walk in after her, one being the Element of Honesty while I recognize the other one, but can't put a name to her. She’s familiar, I just can't recall how I know her.

They all seem to have a bit of difficulty standing there and are giggling to each other, oblivious to our presence. The two other mares try to help Luna up, but end up falling down with her when she pulls on them. Instead of being mad, they erupt into laughter. I look to my guards for a second before it dawns on me what's going on. They're all drunk! This can't be right though. Luna has never been drunk before. She doesn't drink, or at least never has before. I can't think of a time when Luna has been drinking before. Maybe she just doesn't drink at the castle? I can't see her drinking in front of Tempestive either...

Tempestive!

I look over to him and see the confusion on his face. I quickly summarize that this isn't normal for Luna. I have to think quickly here. Let's see...

"Tempestive," I start out as I watch the wolf leave through a dog door in the back. "That wolf just left with something of mine. Can you please retrieve it for me?"

"Lupus? What did he grab?" he asks, still eyeing his giggling mother.

"It was something from my personals. Can you get it? I don't think it'll listen to anypony else." I'm making this all up of course. Hopefully he won't remember that the only thing I brought was my suit from Rarity's.

"But, what about Mom?" he asks innocently.

"Awww," Luna pouts from the floor. "C'mere baby! I wanna hug 'ya!" His eyes go wide from that.

"LUPUS!" He yells as he jumps out of his seat and charges after the wolf. I motion to my guard to follow after him before finally leaving the table. I look down at the three of them and try to think of what to do.

"Guard, help these two to the living room and assist them however they need. I'll tend to Luna." He nods to me before lifting up Applejack onto his back. She starts going off on how she's a married mare and she'll have his memories wiped should he try anything. I shake my head at that and attempt to assist Luna to her hooves. She fumbles a few times as she tries to get up, eventually using me for the support needed to do so. "Come, I'll take you-"

"I-I need to go to my room. Imma go... IMMA go to my room!" she slurs at me, walking off without me. She nearly falls over, but I catch her in time.

"I'll assist you then," I tell her, leading her towards the stairs. She mumbles a response before focusing on the steps before us.

I've... never touched royalty before. The closest I've been was when Auntie Celestia would watch me when I was little. But I don't count that, as I wasn't a stallion back then. Now... this is odd. Everything I'm feeling is exactly what society says a mare should feel like. Her coat is softer than the lightest cloud. Her body is weightless yet has a muscular build to it. Even while drunk, she has a heavenly smell about her. There must be a regiment she follows to maintain this beauty about her. I try my best to ignore it though. She is a Queen after all. A married Queen!

When we make it to the top of the stairs I let her lead me to her room. It's the first door on the left. She rushes ahead of me and goes straight to the restroom. I rush after her as she throws the toilet seats up and hurls the contents of her stomach. My face sours when I hear the liquid slash inside the bowl, but ignore it as I... as...

Luna has, for some reason, stayed standing during her puking. With each heave, her tail lifts slightly. After the second or third heave I get an un-obscured look at her folds beneath. I've seen my fair share of mares before. Not necessarily enough to be considered an expert, but I know my way around them. I can tell by looking at Luna's that she easily had a foal and is well... experienced. But, despite that, there is still a youthful aspect to her. She still appears to be in her prime. Able to bear many more foals as well as please any stallion she chooses.

"Uhg, sick," Luna grumbles before flushing the toilet. At this I shake my head and look away from her backside. I feel ashamed to have been staring like that. But... how many ponies can say they've seen the glory of a Royal Sister? Who wouldn't look? Right? "Remind me to never drink again," she grumbles before finally sitting down. She sits with her side to the bowl and is facing me.

"H-how much did you drink?" I ask, still blushing from before.

"Mmmm... about seven glasses," she muses, looking around the bathroom idly.

"Seven glasses of...?" I try to lead her to answer, but she goes back to heaving again. I look down from the bile sound and find myself ogling her teats suddenly. I guess from the sudden movement, she opened her legs up a bit more. I have to swallow the lump in my throat as I look at the two mounds. I've never been a teat stallion myself, but I'm suddenly warming up to the idea now.

"W-wine." Luna tells me with a flush. I pull my gaze away from her to back up. She doesn't seem to have noticed my intrusion, or simply doesn't care. I try to think about what to do next for her, in an attempt to keep my thoughts pure. Do you keep drunk ponies awake or get them to bed? Maybe some bread would help her... where did I hear that? "Blueblood?"

"Y-yes, Queen Luna?" I ask quickly, averting my gaze to her eyes.

"I think I'm going to bed now... night," she tells me before falling back. I catch her with my magic, stopping her from hitting her head against the sink. I lift her up, finding myself face to face with her backside due to the way she fell. I go to turn her over when an idea hits me. There isn't anypony here. Who would know it if I took a picture right now? Nopony would be the wiser...

No. No, I can't do that. I may have lowered myself to a commoner’s level by looking, but I won't cross that line. I take her to the bed and lay her down, being sure thats she's properly covered. I swallow the lump in my throat before I head to the restroom and get a wash cloth. I get it damp before bringing it to her to clean around her mouth. The cool water somehow wakes her up slightly, getting her to roll towards me.

"Mph, Miles," she moans, wiggling a bit. I don't really know what that's about, but I hope it ends there. I finish up with her lips when I realize that she didn't brush her teeth. That simply will not be allowed. But, how am I going to do this? I guess I could just get the brush and do it myself. Would that be too much? Given, I guess staring at her vagina was too much. How much worse could brushing her teeth be?

I grab what I assume to be her utensils and get them set to clean her teeth in the restroom. When I return I find her laying on her back, spread eagle. I glance to the door to confirm that I'm alone before making my mind up. One last look, then never again. What stallion in their prime wouldn't?

I step closer and take a good, close look at her. Due to her position, I can see a bit of the pink flesh beginning to appear. She has one of her hooves lightly rubbing her stomach, making me wish she brings it down. I might die if she does, but it doesn't look like she's going to. With the mental image seared into my memory, I finally go to clean her teeth. Luckily for me, her mouth is slightly open. With a final breath, I go to begin cleaning her teeth.

"Mhmm.... Blue... Blueblood?" she mumbles as she slowly opens her eyes, just as I near her face. I pause for a second as I try to think of what to do in this situation. This is clearly a delicate situation that needs to be handled with edict and poise.

"My apologies, but I-"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" she yells as she goes to toss me out with her magic.

THUD

The air escapes my lungs as I slam against the wall beside her door. I fall to the ground and groan as I feel the pain start to throb in my back. I probably deserved that.

"My lady, please! I only meant-"

"Why do you have a toothbrush!" she demands, pulling a pillow to hold onto tightly.

"I meant to clean your teeth-"

"Are you a sicko or what!?" she yells, nearly falling over as she points an accusing hoof at me.

"N-no! I swear! I only had your health in mind!" I yell back, making her wince slightly.

"Ow! Tone it down!" she snaps at me.

"O-of course Your Majesty. Would you like to clean yourself up or-"

"Get out," she drones, rubbing her head tiredly. "I... I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy. I think I should lie down." I nod to her, slowly making my way to the door.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" I ask impishly as I take slow steps out the door. She shakes her head at me, wavering from side to side slightly. I bite my lip as I try to think of anything else I can do for her, but I can't seem to find any form of service. I close the door behind me and let out a long breath. That... could have gone far worse than it did, in retrospect. I ogled Royalty and was only thrown against a wall. Not the worse outcome possible.

THUD

I jump slightly when I hear a brutal crash from inside. Without a second’s thought I throw open the door and run in. Immediately, I slide to a stop.

Laying before me is the tangled mess of Luna, only it's not Luna. She's... human. She has pale white skin, long black hair, and bright teal eyes. I watch her for a moment as she sits up next to the dresser, rubbing the pain away from her head. When she straightens out I get a better view of the rest of her human body.

She has a thin, yet athletic look about her. She's not bulky like Miles, but still showcases an ample amount of muscle over most of her body. Most notably in her stomach, where four of the abdominal muscles show through. Her arms are thin, yet defined. I wouldn't call them weak, but the are much thinner than Miles's arms. Her legs are in a similar state as well. Toned, defined, and distinctly feminine. I would even go as far as to say that they're attractive, for another species, that is.

Lastly, I spot the two mounds taking up her chest. At first I didn't quite know what they were. But after noting the two light pink points on each of them, I realized that they were her teats. Needless to say, my interest in human physiology has grown significantly. How could their females walk around with those massive things hanging on them? Were they all that big? If they were, how did the males not walk around always aroused? I guess the clothing makes sense now.

She grumbles again and adjust her legs slightly, giving me a perfect view of her nether region. It's... surprisingly similar to a pony's. It look smaller, due to body build surprisingly. But, had it been a dark blue I would say it was her pony nether region. I blink a few times before I slowly begin to realize the reality of the situation.

"You're human." She looks up to me for a moment before looking down at herself. I can see the seriousness of the situation sober her as she starts to shake. Before I could even think of what to do, she reaches beneath the bed and fumbles with something. I sit here, unsure of what to do. She's human. Without a doubt in my mind, she is human. Has she always been this way? Did Miles do this to her? Can she do this on her own? How did this happen?

As the questions continue to race through my mind, a click derails me. I look back to Luna as she pulls out a pistol and points it at me. I blink a few times before I put up my hooves.

"You... never saw this," she mutters, adjusting the gun in her hands to aim better at me.

"O-of course, Your Majesty." I squeak back. I could teleport to safety, but there is nowhere I could go to hide from her... or her husband.

"Understand me now. If you even joke about this, I will end you. Rip your title from you, force you to suffer for years in the shambles of society, and make you wish you were never born. This," she gestures to herself with her hand, "never happened. You didn't see anything. Understand?"

"Of course! I would never act against the crown!" I tell her, making her squint her eyes at me. I try to think of anything else to say to her, but there isn't a single thing to help ease her mind right now. I have to hope that she trusts my word.

THUD

We both look to the doorway when we hear a door slam shut downstairs. On instinct, I quickly shut the door with my magic, locking it for extra precaution.

"Tempestive... he can't see me like this." Luna tells me, finally lowering the gun. I let out a breath of relief as I try to think of a way out of this. I can just teleport her away, but I probably shouldn't do it with her nude.

"Gather some clothes and get ready to be teleported. Is there anywhere that would be safe for you to be?" I ask, getting her to think deeply for a moment.

"Send me to the Everfree. Roughly one mile Northeast." I think about that before I shake my head at her.

"A mile? Your Majesty, I can't teleport you that far. No normal unicorn could." It's true. Even a talented unicorn would have difficulty teleporting somepony that far. Then again, she hangs around Twilight and Miles. Normal isn't in her vocabulary. "And I'm sorry, but I refuse to put you in the middle of the Everfree without some sort of protection."

"Then... hang on one second. And turn around!" I do as she says immediately. I hear her fumble around with the dresser and start to fumble with some clothing. I keep my gaze on the wall and wait for further instruction. This has taken a turn that I could never have dreamed of. It's easily the last thing I would have thought of. I would put Celestia coming here to propose to me over this.

"Okay Blueblood. Here's the plan. Go downstairs and have your guards watch over my son. You have your guards with you, right?"

"Yes-"

"Good. After that, you are going to teleport us as close to my objective as possible and escort me to my destination. Can I count on you for this?" I nod my head, keeping my gaze on the wall. "Alright, go talk to your guards then... I hope you understand that any harm that should befall him will rest on your shoulders. Am I clear?"

"Crystal, ma'am. Would you be more comfortable if I had them take him somewhere safer? Perhaps a friend’s home?"

"Yeah... yeah that's a good idea. Tell them to take him to Mooseden and find E'Claire. Tell them to tell her that I had to make a run to Topaz, she'll understand."

"Of course, Your Majesty. Is that all?" She stays silent for a moment, making the hairs on the back of my neck rise slightly.

"... thank you. Blueblood, I really do appreciate this." I swallow another lump before nodding to her, taking my leave from the room. I take a moment to collect myself before I head downstairs. I only came here with the hopes of gaining a small amount of favor. Now... now I may have her respect...

Assuming I can get her to this secret location of hers, that is.

Oh my god it feels good to update! I've been looking forward to this for awhile. Sorry for the absence, I've had a rather crazy time for the past two months. Things are starting to normal out (relatively) so the next chapters shouldn't take as long as before to come out... baring the minor pause.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'd really appreciate it if you read my July 2015 blog post. It'll tell you everything you need to know, and I hope to see your support for that.

Likewise, I've had a few updates elsewhere, so be sure to check out my other blogs as well as the Cultural Reference Guide: The Ursa Majors.

Brony on!