Man of War
Chapter 203: Q/A Special #2
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TB: NO!
Pinkie: You are going to do this!
TB: Like hell I'm going to!
Pinkie: Don't make me say it twice!
TB: Just because you say my whole name doesn't mean I'm going to-
Pinkie: Pe-
TB: WELCOME BACK MY BRONIES! Here's the second Q/A special for Man of War! Holy fuck. Two of these things, two hundred chapters, and probably going to get to three hundred, can you believe it?
Pinkie: Yes.
TB: You're pear shaped pony. Anyway, this will work just like last time. Anything spoken will be after semicolons while actions will be in brackets. Like so, {TB makes the same room as last time, because originality}. So we'll do all of the 'bad' characters first and then get to the 'good' ones afterwards-
Pinkie: You still-
TB: Pinkie, I'm not giving you a mustache.
Pinkie: Stachist.
TB: Anyway, let's get to it already! { Flamingo salsa dance everyone into existence}
Death: Well, this was unexpected.
TB: HI!
War: Where are we!? {pick Tb up by shirt collar}
TB: Um... would you believe in the sky?
Death: Put him down War, he's no threat.
TB: Look, I'm just here to ask some questions from some... fans? {waves hand} you will answer my questions... and put me down.
War: ... very well.{puts TB down}
TB: Coo, so let's start with Steelwing. If you had a last meal, what would it be?
Steelwing: I already have that planned out. A nice poached bass with lemon, a couple beers, and chocolate pudding.
TB: ... pudding?
Steelwing: What? It's my last meal, I get to eat what I want.
TB: Good point. Do you have any hobbies?
Steelwing: Knitting.
TB: ...really?
Steelwing: No, you idiot. I don't have time for hobbies.
TB: Well... aren't you boring. Up next, Pestilence. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Pestilence: I crush many people, would you like to see? {reaches for TB}
TB: {swats hand away with rolled up newspaper} okay then, last but certainly not least, Death.
Death: Here I am, what do you wish to know?
TB: Why the sudden drive to bring about the apocalypse? What caused you to begin this new crusade to end life as we know it?
Death: Dear child, you know so little of what you speak of. I am ensuring peace and tranquility for all living beings. What you call apocalypse, I call divination. I will end the rein of cruelty upon the souls of this planet, and more.
TB: So, where have and the other centaurs been?
Death: In our sanctuary in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Waiting.
TB: If all fall to Death, does that mean you die too? Also, why bother to start your pointless war that seems to have faded for now, if life is just going to end in death forever? I mean, why put forth the effort if the races die by the millions anyway?
Death: I am Death, and they will all fall to me. I ended this 'war' to ready myself for the day of reckoning. War... war is a plague. It destroys the hearts and minds of everyone. War... cannot be stopped, not until the world turns to Death.
TB: Interesting. Well, thanks for your input. Good luck with... whatever it is you're doing. Later! {samba dances evil characters away and brings in good characters}
Miles: How in the... WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? {Points to TB}
TB: ... okay, the first time was cute but lets save that for later.
Miles: First ti-
TB: OKAY! So, you all must be confused as to how you all appeared here and who I am. I'm a pre-purgian author that was sent to here to ask you all some questions. My name is TallestBrony, but you can call me TB for short. We've... been able to watch the events of your lives unfold and have come to love your tale, but have some questions. Once I'm done we'll all be sent to our proper places. So what do you say, you all in?
Everyone: {Whispers to one another but agree to stay, because it's totally their choice to}
TB: Great! So first up I have to ask, what would you do for a Klondike bar?
Everyone: ...
TB: This is a great way to start-
Pinkie: I'd throw an awesome party with balloons, confetti, ponies, loud music, trapeze walkers, Gummy, st-
TB: Okay then, awesome. First up lets have a chat with Applebloom.
Applebloom: Me? Okay. {Comes up to podium} Hi.
TB: Hola, so the others really want to know where you and the other Crusaders have been.
Applebloom: Well that's easy. We've been in Ponyville crusading fer our cutie marks! Ah'd like ta go out adventuring with mah brother and sister, but they say ah'm too young fer that kind of stuff. Just you watch, mah cutie mark is gonna be adventurin' an ah'll never git it cause ah'll never go adventuring!
TB: ... watch out for arrows.
Applebloom: Huh?
TB: It's nothing, thanks for that input.
Applebloom: Yer welcome! {runs back to seat}
TB: Hey crusaders, ever try getting your cutie marks by becoming Spartans?
Miles: Like fuck that's going to happen.
Applejack: What in tarnation! She's only seven!
Rarity: Sweetie Bell will do no such thing!
Rainbow Dash: ... huh...
TB: ... okay then. Up next let's have.... Photo finish? Da fu? She hasn't even showed up yet, whatevs. Photo?
Photo: I... Photo Finish... AM HERE!
TB: ... oh, you really do that all of the time-
Photo: BEGIN ZE QUESTIONS!
TB: RIGHT! Do you think you could take a photo of everyone in the room?
Photo: Do you doubt my abilities! I, am Photo Finish! I could not only take ze picture, but make you all shine like ze sun! {Strikes dramatic pose}
TB: So... yes?
Photo: If you have to ask twice darling it's out of your league. {returns to seat}
Pinkie: BURN!
TB: Pinkie, you're pink. Next we have a questions for Cadence and Shinning Armor!
Cadence: Oh, okay. Hello. {Walks up with hubby}
TB: So, how's the Crystal Guardian doing in your kingdom?
Shinning: Oh, great. With him being the conduit for all of the love and joy, our borders and nearly tripled in size!
Cadence: Now we have room for growth and the possibility of growing back to our former glory. He's been a real blessing to our ponies.
TB: Hmm, sounds like a huge boost to the economy. Well, thanks for the insiders look.
Cadence: Your welcome. {Goes back to seat with hubby}
TB: Since we just had that couple, let's have Soarin and Rainbow Dash come up next.
Rainbow Dash: {zips through the air with Soarin} Sup?
TB: So Dash, guess what?
Rainbow Dash: ... uh, what?
TB: Miles is now twenty percent cooler than you.
Rainbow Dash: Pffffft, please. I'm way cooler than that lump of boring.
Miles: Hey-
Rainbow Dash: At least I don't freak out at parties-
Miles: Du fuck Dash?
Soarin: And you don't have to ask what something is every five seconds.
Miles: AH fuck you Soarin.
Rainbow Dash: Who ever thinks that needs to check their math again, I'm way cooler than Miles.
Miles: ... I bet you don't even know what algebra is. {Folds arms and grumbles more to himself}
TB: Cool, cool, so have you shown those Wonderbolts who's boss yet, Spartan Jumper?
Rainbow Dash: Pft, no! They've been away on different missions and what not. But, whatever. The minute they get back I'm going to personally challenge Spitfire, and we'll take home the gold. Just you wait.
TB: Can't wait to see you try. So Soarin, we know you might not be all that happy that you're no longer a Wonderbolt, but are you happier now?
Soarin: Well. whether I'm happier or not is hard to say. I mean, I live a completely different life now. All the fame and adventure is gone, but I have a loving family now. I guess once I completely heal I'll be able to say I'm happier.
TB: Do you work?
Soarin: Not yet. I'm still in physical training, but I've been talking to the local weather team to take up a position there. They say the worker who used to do it keeps disappearing, so they want somepony who will be there more reliably.
TB: How are you adopting to civilian life?
Soarin: It's been... tough. Most ponies still see me as a Wonderbolt, so I still get that reception. It doesn't help though that I've also been keeping inside mostly as well, with recovery and all.
TB: Well, that's all I have for you two, thanks for answering them.
Rainbow: Later {zips back to her seat in record time}
Soarin: Bye {Walks back}
TB: So, let's have Damian come on up.
Damian: Hey, what's up? {Comes to podium}
TB: So, you and CC, the hell did that happen? Details on the hook up.
Damian: ... you have no idea the hell I went through for this to happen. As for the details, I think I explained enough.
TB: Really?
Damian: You have no idea.
TB: Well, actually I do. But, let's move on anyway. Some people would like to know how it feels knowing that CC doesn't think you're gay anymore.
Damian: ... it feels good, real good. {Perv glance back to CC, who blushes}
TB: There are kids here, you know that right?
Damian: Worth it. {Goes back to seat, sitting closer to CC}
TB: Gross. Anyway, let's have Rarity and Twilight come up for a moment. {Rarity and Twilight come up, confused}
Twilight: Greetings, TB, but why the both of us?
TB: Well, hypothetically speaking, if Spike became, lets say a Spartan and was to do training, how would you two react?
Rarity: React? I wouldn't. Because that's not going to happen. Ever. End of discussion.
TB: So then the D is good?
Rarity: The what!?
TB: Have you and Spike done it yet? {Waves hand}
Rarity: Of course not! He's far too young! Even if he's grown into a hunk- {covers mouth with hooves} I have to go. {Runs back to seat to hide blushing face}
TB: Ha, what a dork. Speaking of dorks, Twilight, have you met Celestia's former student Sunset Shimmer?
Twilight: I'm not a dork! And I didn't even know Princess Celestia had a former student.
TB: I guess things turned out differently. Did you also know that ponies were engineered by humans and that their cutie marks were designed to make them willing slave to the humans?
All ponies: {Mouth agape as they stare at TB, completely lost for words}
Miles: Seriously? You're going to just ask that out loud, seriously? Are you stupid or something?
TB: Well... maybe a little. What are your thoughts on that?
Twilight: {take a moment to collect herself} Well, I uh... I'm not sure what to think. That's... pretty big news.
TB: Did you also know that Starswirl the Bearded was on of Miles's friend's kids that was named after their late husbands gamer tag?
Twilight: {eye twitch} MILES!
Miles: The fuck did I do!? I tried to tell her not to do it!
Twilight: You mean to tell me one of the most influential ponies in Equestrian history is named after some Terridisian GAME!?!
Miles: It was Dolums gamer tag! It's what he called himself in video games!
Twilight: ... WHAT!?!
TB: I think you should take a seat and relax. {Twilight storms to her seat, glaring at Miles.} So, Fluttershy, I have a question for you and then Rampant.
Fluttershy: Oh, really? Okay. {Brings Rampant to podium}
TB: So, what does the fox say?
Fluttershy: Um... they bark and growl mostly. Sometimes they yelp or make high pitched noises but... that's what they say.
TB: So, they don't stand on their hind legs and make various odd noises while dancing?
Fluttershy: ... well, never in front of me at least.
TB: Hmm... that's not as fun... well, the next one is for Rampant Growth. Goo ga, goo goo ga, mrph goo?
Rampant Growth: {stare}
Fluttershy: He's too young to rely TB, he's just a baby.
TB: Right, so Doctor, what did I say in baby?
The Doctor: Absolutely nothing. Now, if you had said Goo mrph, ga goo goo, ga goo; you would have asked what his name is. To which he said 'the milk one calls me Rampant Growth and I kind of like that one. But the red sweat one calls me Eeyup, and he doesn't understand why.'
TB: Well, that takes care of another question. Why don't you come on up here Doctor, the next set are for you. Thanks for coming up Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Your welcome. {goes back to seat}
The Doctor: Now, what can I do for you. {Trots to podium}
TB: Our... viewers, would like to know if you've ever been to the Pre-purgian era, and if so what was it like?
The Doctor: Well, I have been there a few times. But! Every time I try to go there, a friend sends me back to a certain time. I always make it to just after The Dig, or right after the humans bury their cities.
TB: So, do you know about the human creation projects?
The Doctor: Yes, actually. Though my... friend, stops me, I do get in every now and again. I know about the creation of ponies, griffins and all other species that inhabit the planet now.
TB: Must of been... shocking, to have learned that.
The Doctor: Well, given human nature, I wasn't all that surprised.
TB: Oh, and the guy asking wants me to tell you: Tell me to not do it. EVER. OR ELSE. Tell me COLLAPSE THEORY. You will know what I mean.
The Doctor: ... okay.
TB: So, hypothetically speaking, of course, lets say we used a patchwork TARDIS-like thing to go back and kidnap Miles before he became a pony and bring him back to the time he vanished, how bad would time be fucked?
The Doctor: It wouldn't happen. It's a fixed point in time, it has, and will always happen.
TB: Yeah, but hypothetically speaking-
The Doctor: There is no hypothetical in that situation. It has to happen, it is the best outcome.
TB: What does that mean?
The Doctor: I've sworn to never say, sorry but I intend to keep this promise.
TB: Hmm, if you wish. So, if I were to, still hypothetically speaking, kill Altum before Miles gets the annul things on his arms, what would that do?
The Doctor: {sighs} you wouldn't succeed, the best outcome must happen. Sorry.
TB: Hmm... that's annoying.
The Doctor: Imagine not being able to say anything.
TB: Have you told Miles you have a time machine yet?
Miles: Wut?
The Doctor: I have yet to have the privilege to meet him. But I don't think I would bring him along. I don't like ponies that go straight for guns and killing-
Miles: Hey, I get shit done.
The Doctor: You take lives. On your best day you still resort to death and destruction. I may not have a perfect record, but I at least try-
Miles: I don't pretend to be on some moral high. I kill so those I love can be safe. Life doesn't give us the luxury to do otherwise. On my worst day, my loved ones can rely on me for safety, can you say that?
TB: Okay you two, don't make me separate you guy. So, Doctor, while on the subject of families, tell us a bit about yours. You have Dinky and Ditsy now, tell us about them.
The Doctor: Well, it's been... difficult. Going through time at a normal pace kind of...
Derpy: It drives him loco!
The Doctor: I've been getting better! I was in the living room for an hour straight the other day!
Dinky: That's because you were reading, writing, doing laundry, dancing and baking at the same time.
The Doctor: ... yes, well, I have been making an effort to be a consistent part of their lives.
TB: What about Dinky? Is she a time lord as well? And if so, does she have all the bells and whistles of a Time lord?
The Doctor: How do you know about... hm, well, no. I've checked her over and she's just a normal unicorn filly.
TB: Does she get a Tardis?
The Doctor: I barely have a tardis, where in the blazes is she going to get one!? Not to mention I'm not going to just let my little filly go out into the universe like that!
Dinky: But-
The Doctor: It's far too dangerous! Maybe, one day, I'll bring her with me. But for now, she's staying in Ponyville where it
is safe. {Stomps hoof down}
TB: ... dad mode activated, good job. You get two points. Miles, negative twelve.
Miles: Why am I at negative twelve?
TB: Because you didn't cry.
Everypony: {bursts into laughter}
Miles: ... wut?
TB: Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough, and again almost every day for the rest of your life. Thank you Doctor for sharing, why don't we have Spike come on up now. {The Doctor takes his seat while Spike comes to the podium}
Spike: Hiya, what can I do for you?
TB: Well, the thing is, you kind of disappeared for awhile and then suddenly reappeared. What happened there and what have you been doing since your return?
Spike: Well... Discord made me believe that no one loved me anymore, so I ran away. With wings now, I got pretty far...
TB: How far?
Spike: Like, the dragon badlands far.
TB: DAYUM!
Spike: Yeah... I guess without loved ones, I just went primal down there. Some stuff happened and... well, I'm just glad to be back home now.
TB: And I'm sure everyone is glad to have you back. Are you satisfied with how Rarity's all over you now?
Rarity: WHAT!?
Spike: Uh... well... you see, then thing is...
Rarity: Spike! A gentlepony never, never, kisses and tells-
TB: You guys kissed?
Rarity: NO!
TB: Way to go Spike, get that mare-
Rarity: Do not degrade to some brutish, tail chasing, neaderpony! He is a gentledrake and-
TB: So the sex is good?
WHACK
ZAP
TB: HUH!? What happened?
Miles: Rarity knocked your ass out. Welcome back to the land of the living. {Goes back to seat}
TB: .... I need to stop doing these things, I keep dying in them. So... where were we... right. Next let's do... someone safe. Squishy.
Squishy: Hey there sweetie, how the head?
TB: ... in pain. Are you Bi?
Squishy: ... do you mean by preference or pay?
TB: ... okay, let's do someone else. Pinkie!
Pinkie: Yupeeroo-
TB: Wait, bad idea-
Pinkie: Ah c'mon, my tallest, what do they want to know from dear 'ol auntie Pinkie Pie? {bats eye lashes}
TB: {eye twitch} Fine. Just out of curiosity, do you have a crush on anyone?
Pinkie: ... oh you jerks. Maybe-
TB: It's Squishy-
Pinkie: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!
TB: Like hell I don't know, you just got issues with him.
Pinkie: Do not!
Squishy: Do too.
Pinkie: DO NOT!
Everyone: Do too.
Pinkie: .... ooooh, that's what that feels like. Fine, what's next?
TB: {reads question} Uh... nothing, that's all of them-
Applejack: No it's not. Yer lyin' ah can tell.
TB: How would you even know!? I-
Applejack: Yer eyes widen an yer voice trembles a bit when ya lie. Also, ah'm suppose ta be the embodiment of honesty, ah think ah know what ah'm taklin about. just read the question.
TB: ... sometimes I hate ponies.
Applejack: No ya don't.
TB: ... {sigh} okay, fine. Pinkie, he wants you to slap me.
Pinkie: ... what? No! I don't slap my friends.
TB: .... aaaaah-
Pinkie: Even when their continuity drives ponies crazy.
TB: ... why do you hurt so good? Okay, moving on. To all Spartans; what is the one word that would describe how your life changed after Spartan training.
All Spartans: {no hesitation} Cause.
TB: Well... that was easy. Storm Could, could you come up please?
Storm Cloud: Hello... other human. What would you like to know?
TB: Did you know in an alternate universe there's a stallion named Flash Sentry fucking Twilight?
Storm: ...
Twilight: ...
Celestia: oh my.
TB: Yeah, had a feeling that was going to happen. So, hows the family? What have you brother and mother been up to?
Rain Cloud: Why not just ask us?
TB: Because the viewers are weird like that.
Storm: Okay, well... They both moved in with Twilights parents for the time being. My mother has a job in the castle now and is planning on moving out again, though Velvet disagrees. Breaker has been healing, or trying to at least. He also likes to help with Softy.
TB: So, your trust him now?
Storm: ... I'm usually there when he does so.
TB: Ah, there it is. Anyway, what's the deal with you and lemon waffles?
Storm: ... what? They're tasty. Something wrong with eating tasty food?
TB: Sometimes there is. Are you aware that Twilight has some knowledge about the few days your memory disappeared.
Storm: ... wut?
Twilight: I was going to tell you-
Storm: When? When were you going to tell me, after Softy grew up? When were you going to tell me!?
Twilight: I was going to tell you when the time was right!
TB: {snaps finger, Twilight and Storm fall asleep}
Miles: Whoa... that's fucked up powerful.
TB: ... really? Okay then, Lust spirit! COME ON DOWN! {waves hand to turn on translator}
Lust Spirit: Greetings human.
TB: Sup. How was Miles's bed, and were you really the one making it so 'good'?
Luna: Wait, what?
Lust Spirit: It was... active, to say the least. And I didn't make it 'better'. I just brought out those primal instincts faster.
TB: Wanna move to my bed?
Lust Spirit: I think there's more to feed in Miles's.
TB: ... ow. My pride. So, got any favorite stories you want to tells us about the things that have happened on that bed?
Lust Spirit: Hmm... I have a few-
Miles: You better not-
Luna: I will destroy that bed if you say a word-
Celestia: Think of the children!
TB: Whoa, okay, leave the saucy stuff out then. Thanks for that then.
Lust Spirit: Live in love. {fades away}
TB: ...hippie. Next let's talk with Night Fury, you have a question, and a fan.
Night Fury: Really, okay then. Shoot.
TB: What do you do? Guard Luna, go on Spartan missions or what, we know next to nothing about you.Tell us about your life so you don't seem like a dick. -From your biggest fan. (And possibly only)
Night Fury: Well, no. I don't guard Luna. I am one of three fully active Spartans as of now, so I carry out most of our missions. With that, you get most of my life as of now. I've been shipped from one country to the next filling out different tasks and missions. So... that's me.
TB: Why don't you give us a bit on those missions you go on, what are you doing and where?
Night Fury: Sure. I've been tasked with investigating the various conflicts of the world. As of now I've been in the Soviet Bear Union investigating the trading between the Goblin Empire and the Griffin Colonies. Once done with the trade routes, Dust, True and I will head over to the Colonies to inspect their equipment and the intent of it's use. Those are my orders as I stand.
TB: Busy guy.
Night Fury: You have no idea.
TB: Well, thanks for your input. Next we have.... Boxy!
Boxy: Hello Peter.
TB: ... oh, right. All of time at once. Damn Seer's. Anyway, you don't really have a question, but more of a statement. NIPPLE SALAD! THE TEA WILL SPILL AT MIDNIGHT. SAVE THE CHEERLEADER, STOP THE TEA! MY HOVERCRAFT IS FULL OF EELS! PLEASE FONDLE MY BUTTOCKS! ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!
Boxy: Pfft, now that just sounds crazy. {leans back in trash can}
TB: Clearly. Well, with Boxy done, who better to ask next than Cabbage Patch.
Cabbage Patch: What? Me? Okay. {walks to podium}
TB: So, this guy has you cabbages. If you want them back, meet him in two weeks at noon with three thousand bits at the Ponyville Park. For every hour you are late, he will desecrate and/or violently destroy one cabbage. The same goes for every missing bit. Come alone, or you lose a whole cart. If you refuse, heads will roll, and he have a nice sewer to dump the rest in. What say you?
Cabbage Patch: ... what cabbages? They're out of season.
TB: Ha, yeah they are. Let's meet up with the 'pharmacy' girls.
Pharmacy girls: Wat you want!?
TB: Oh... the sass. Okay then, seriously. What the fuck?
Pharmacy Girls: AH, buck you tall ass mother bucker!
TB: But, I'm just reading-
Pharmacy Girls: I don't care! Rude!
TB: ... So how do you think those condoms are coming along? Anyone believe you that the 'Sex God' came in and couldn't find a condom that fits on him?
Pharmacy Girls: They'll get here, when they get here! An don't worry, we got pictures.
Miles: Wait, what?
TB: Okay, cutting Miles off now. Easy, what's up?
Easy: Greetings unregistered human. How may I serve you?
TB: How do you feel knowing you are nothing more than a glorified slave, forced to obey your now pony masters?
Easy: I exist to serve the Terradisian people, I know no other directives.
TB: What would you have done if Miles gave you his autograph?
Easy: Cataloged it.
TB: May I have your autograph?
Easy: I am unable to perform that task. Signatures are defined by the Terradisian government as proofs of persons existence, and since I am not a live persons, I do not have a signature.
TB: Okay, that was... sad. I want something cute now. Lupus and Hati!
Lupus/Hati: BARK!
TB: WHO'S A GOOD WOLFIE? WHO'S A GOOD WOLFIE? WHO'S A GOODAHHHHH! Lupus and Hati both attack TB}
Luna: Should we help him?
Miles: Mmmm....
TB: WOLVES! WOOOOOOLVES! WHY YOU HURT SO GOOOD!?
Miles: Nah.
Celestia: Miles-
Miles: What? They're having fun.
TB: THAT'S NOT A CHEW TOY!
Shadow: Dad...
Miles: Fine. HEY! Get off him. {Lupus and Hati leave TB and run to Miles's side}
TB: Why!? WHHHHHHY!? Why is this my life!?
Pinkie: Because you don't update as fast as you used to.
TB: {cries in pain for a few minutes} baaaaaaaaaaaaaalls.
Miles: Get up you crybaby. You're only barely bleeding.
TB: Only barely!? {grovels a bit more} uhg, okay, I think I can continue. Okay.... let's get Celestia next.
Celestia: Hello, do you need a minute-
TB: No, no I'm fine. I can keep going. {trying to act manly} So, what's it like being an aunt?
Celestia: Oh, I love it. Tempestive is a little sweet heart and I absolutely love taking care of him.
TB: So, why don't you get preggers and have your own foal? We're sure you'd be a great mom.
Celestia: Well, thank you, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Not to mention I don't have anypony to... help, with that.
TB: Does anyone call you by any other name or nickname?
Celestia: Well, none that I know of, at least.
TB: This was probably asked before, but: Do you like bananas? {reveals one portal to the plane of infinite bananas}
Celestia: Umm... I think I'll be fine.
TB: But... bananas.
Celestia: No thank you.
TB: Damn. What's your favorite kind of cake?
Celestia: Cloud Cake. Hooves down the best.
TB: So, what are your thoughts on Miles boinking your sister as husband and wife?
Celestia: ... I assure you I have no thought on them... doing that. As for them being husband and wife, they're happiness makes me happy.
TB: Mhmm. So, are Miles and Luna your OTP?
Celestia: My what?
Miles: Oh sweet Barbra, really?
TB: We'll just take that as a yes. Have you had your eyes on anypony to fall in love with? Or is it an entirely different... person?
Celestia: I... don't have my eyes on anypony. Not now, and never before.
TB: Okay, let's just cut to the chase. How bad do you want the alicorn Miles to fuck you?
Celestia/ Luna: WHAT!?
TB: Whoa, chill the buck out. It's just a question-
Celestia: It was rude and completely unnecessary! I do not want to have any form of sexual relations with Miles!
Miles: {pukes}
TB: Okay, okay. Don't shoot the messenger. Lets just move on to Luna, and pretend that didn't happen. Luna, you love your son, that much is for sure, but if he were to turn evil would you stand with him or against him?
Luna: Well, I would do everything I could do to turn him away from that kind of path. But, it he were to turn... I don't know if I could. Put in the situation, I might be able to act, but reflecting on it... I don't know.
TB: And how is he doing now?
Luna: He's perfectly fine. Sleeps like a rock and eats like a bear, hardly cries.
TB: How much do you weigh?
Luna: ... that's none of your concern. {Glares}
TB: Don't kill me... So, uh... Big Mac, how big are you?
Big Mac: Big 'nough.
TB: Insightful. So, now let's head on over to the person with the most questions, Miles.
Miles: I have a feeling that I'm not going to like this.
TB: C'mon, it won't be that bad. So, can I have your autograph?
Miles: ... no.
TB: Do you ever regret working on Project Harmonize?
Miles: Not really. The only bad thing to come from it was Altum's betrayal, which I guess actually did do a lot, but I still stand by what I did.
TB: Do you prefer being a human or alicorn?
Miles: Well, as of now, human. I can barely do anything as an alicorn. But, if I were to be fully functional in both forms... alicorn, seeing as how my family is all alicorn.
TB: So, it's clear that you have the fire power to eradicate the Unfamiliar from the planet, so why don't you?
Miles: When we first found them, I really wanted to. But... things changed. The Equestrians started talking with them and... taking them out would lose our greatest ally. So, for now, they work the factories in Ruby Canyon. Where it goes from there, I have no clue.
TB: So, some of the viewers have a feeling that Altum isn't dead. What happened to him after that finisher you performed?
Miles: His body and soul were filled with icy void and soul fire. To put it simply, he doesn't exist anymore. I have no fear about him returning, because it is impossible to happen.
TB: What can you do if your hard drive catches fire to fix it? Is there anything anyone could do to fix it?
Miles: Uh... I could fix it, I guess. But, the information might be damaged beyond recovery.
TB: What's you favorite candy?
Miles: Hmm... those little suckers covered in green stuff with brown stuff in the middle. They were damn good.
TB: How are you so kick ass?
Miles: ... Spartan.
TB: How do you plan to kill Steelwing if you get the chance to decide?
Miles: ... I haven't really thought about that. I... don't want to plan it out though. That's not what I'm about, pre-meditated murder. I am going to bring him to justice, and then... we'll see what happens next.
TB: Where do you plan to house all of the new and future Spartans?
Miles: Easy, they're going to live in Moosden. It has the means to, and it's our only surface territory that we completely control.
TB: This is more of a suggestion, but, since we know you can and probably will make new Elements; imagine the skies filled with sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their freakin' heads.
Miles: What's a shark?
TB: And my joy has been killed. So how do you feel about your friends being historical figures in Pony History? After the war they became the founding ponies of Equestria, Starswirl even became one of the leading magicians of history. Thoughts?
Miles: That... makes me proud. I knew they had it in them to do great, even after such devastating loss. As for Starswirl, he had the remnants of the greatest arcane society backing him. Do you really wonder why he was so influential?
TB: Yeah, he kind of cheated. So, assuming you make another set of the Elements of Chaos, couldn't you use them to see the history of what happened to Celestia's mother?
Miles: .... theoretically, I might. I'm not sure how Altum did that though, so it would take some researching. But, I might be able to. {Celestia and Luna share a glance}
TB: Okay, now for the worst one. {waves hand to tie Celestia to a chair with her ears open and mouth muzzled. Kids are gone. Truth spell over Miles} Now describe the best, most fetish-worthy sex you and Luna have had in graphic detail.
Luna: WHAT!?
Miles: That would have to have been the time we fucked in her mind. Because it played off of our imagination, we had sex everywhere we could think, in every position, for what felt like days.
TB: ... that still sounds pretty vanilla. So does Luna have nice ass?
Miles: The best. {smug smile}
TB: Okay then, thanks for participating. If I could get you all to look at this little silver device with the blue light. {puts on shades}
FLASH {everyone goes back to their original location with no memory of what happened.
Pinkie: So, now it's time for you questions, right? {takes off shades}
TB: Yeah, let's get this over with already.
Pinkie: Can they call you, My Tallest?
TB: Only if they watch me eat waffles.
Pinkie: Any idea when The Demon Within is gonna update?
TB: I know he's been working on it, but he has school, medical stuff and has been helping with a one year old baby. So, I don't know when it's going to update. Soon, we all hope.
Pinkie: Why did you abandon the "Finding Spike" sub-plot?
TB: Because I wanted his exploits to be something for Spike to reflect on. Things did happen when he was gone and while he was returning home. It will be brought up later.
Pinkie: How in the hell did he go from where he was at the beginning to some god-like limitless power?
TB: Well, if you skip chapters, you miss out on stuff. And it's not limitless.
Pinkie: Are you going to do a summary thing of what goes down for the new readers?
TB: No. Either read the story, or don't.
Pinkie: That's a bit harsh.
TB: Eh, why read a book if you're not willing to read it.
Pinkie: True. How'd it get burned!? HOW'D IT GET BURNED!?
TB: I imagine with fire.
Pinkie: How does it feel knowing you're leading a +200 chapter long story and what keeps you motivated to write that much.
TB: To be honest, I didn't think it would get this long. In my early predictions, I thought it was going to be around eighty chapters, at most. Then two fifty, and now... I can see getting into the late three hundreds. I kept writing it because I love the story and want to see it finish.
Pinkie: What inspired you to write this story?
TB: My Second Life. Straight up, I was reading that story when a question came to mind. Where did the ponies come from? In every story I had read at the time, ponies just existed. It was assumed that they were always there. So I started asking myself that question. That lead me to create the Man of War universe.
Pinkie: Have a burrito?
TB: We're trying too, I swear!
Pinkie: Had enough questions yet?
TB: Mmmm..... just about.
Pinkie: Good, cause I have a case I need to go stand on.
TB: ...Pinkie, you are so random.
Pinkie: I know. Later guys.
TB: Well guys, that's the end of the second Q/A. As a bonus to all of those who read, or skimmed to the bottom, here's the next Brony Point reward. It's a community vote. Post a comment for a single color. The color with the most votes and/or likes will win. Thanks for reading, and like always;
Brony on!