I'm running down a long grey hall. The walls seem to go up forever, and all I can hear are the echoes of my footsteps. I can see my friends down at the end, walking towards a bright white light. I try to call out for them, but my voice is silent. No matter how hard I scream for them, I can't make a single sound. The more I run, the longer the hall seems to grow, which only makes me want to run faster. I look back to see the hall behind me is being consumed in a black abyss that's coming towards me. When I look back to my friends, my face is right in Twilight's.

"MILES!" I fall back into the dark abyss. I fall and fall and fall and scream my inaudible screams as the darkness surrounds me.

I jolt awake and immediately slam my face into something, making me lie back down.

"Ow! What was that for?!" I look over to see Twilight on the floor, rubbing her face. Storm Cloud walks over and helps her up.

"Why were you hovering over me like that?" I ask as I rub my face.

"You were having a nightmare, so she was trying to wake you up," Storm explains. I groan as I sit up. What the fuck...?

"What were you dreaming about?" Twilight asks.

"Nothing..."

"Miles, you looked really worried and scared. What happened?" I get up and start walking towards the restroom, ignoring the question. "Miles?" I glance back, then open the door and walk in, closing it behind me. The bathroom is small, containing a sink to my left with a mirror on the wall behind it, a brown tub to my right that I assume is the shower, and a toilet to the left of the sink. I turn to the sink and run the water, splashing it on my face. I turn the water off and and stare at myself in the mirror. What was all that about...?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Miles," Storm Cloud’s voice says from behind the door, "when you’re done in there, come upstairs and have some breakfast."

I continue looking into my reflection as he walks away. What am I going to do now? Should I go back to Topaz Falls? Is it even there anymore? What about the other cities? Quartz Crest, Jasper, New Garnet; were they hit? Or should I stay here - try and start a new life here among the ponies? What would I do? I shake my head and leave the restroom. I can't deal with this until I'm set free, so I'm not going to worry about it until later.

I walk all the way up the stairs, through Twilight's room, and down the next set of stairs to the first room. I stop at the bottom of the stair and look around. Oh, there's a door to my right! ...How did I miss that? I walk to the door and open it. Inside, Twilight and Storm Cloud are eating at a table. Behind them is a counter that goes all along the wall. To my left is a refrigerator, and to my right is a set of pantries. Storm Cloud is back in his armor and is focusing on eating, while Twilight is reading a book. I go to the empty seat on the other side of the table and sit down.

Twilight sets her book down and looks over to me. She then levitates a plate over and sets it in front of me. On the plate are two flat brown disks covered in some sort of syrup. I look over to Twilight and ask, "What is this?"

"Breakfast," Storm Cloud says flatly.

"I got that part. I mean, what is it?"

"They're pancakes. You mean to tell me that you've never had pancakes before?" asks Twilight.

"I've never even heard of them. What are they made of?"

"Well, you take flour, milk, and eggs, mix them together, and fry them on a pan," Twilight explains as she looks back to her book.

"Hmm... OK, next, what are ‘flour’, ‘milk’, and ‘eggs’?" Twilight looks at me in disbelief. From the side of the room, I hear some laughing. I look over and see a small, purple, scaly creature rolling on the floor in front of a stove that's to the right of the fridge.

"Ah man, Twilight, where did you dig this guy up?" he says as he squirms around on the floor, holding his sides.

"Spike, calm down and come have some breakfast." He stands up and takes his plate from the stove. He walks over and takes the seat in-between me and Storm Cloud, wiping tears from his eyes.

"What did you eat before coming here, rocks?" he says as he sets his plate down - it's filled with sapphires. Before I can ask, he takes the plate and slides them all into his mouth.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I yell as I try to stop him, making everyone jump from my outburst.

"What?" he says with his mouth full. "I'm just eating."

"But those were sapphires!" He's looking at me like I'm crazy. I look to everyone else, and they’re giving the same look.

"Well, he is a dragon," Twilight says matter-of-factly.

"What the fuck is a ‘dragon?’"

"What does ‘fuck’ mean?" asks Spike.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you the same thing," says Twilight.

"Oh sweet Barbra..." How could they not know what curse words are? I look around, and they all look equally confused. Before anyone can say anything, the alarm on my phone goes off. It’s just an escalating, beeping tone, but the others are freaking out from it.

"What is that sound?!" asks Storm Cloud as he looks around the room.

"I don't know!" replies Twilight. I casually pull my phone out and turn off the alarm. I slide it back into my pocket and look around at the three. HA! They're freaking out. I ignore them and begin eating the pancakes with the fork that was next to my plate. I use the side of the fork to cut a chunk off and take a bite.

This... is the tastiest thing I have ever had. It's sweet and spongy and makes my mouth water the instant it makes contact. I devour the rest in a matter of seconds. I look at the plate to see some of the syrup left over, so I pick it up and lick the remnants off. Once done, I set the plate down and look around to see everyone is staring at me again.

"Hungry?" asks Storm Cloud, getting giggles from the other two.

"Sorry,” I say while wiping my face off with a napkin, "but I've never had anything like that before-"

"OH TWIIII-LIIIIGHT!" yells a cheerful voice from the front room. Suddenly, a pink pony bursts through the kitchen doorway, but then stops when she sees me. She's one of those ‘earth ponies,’ with a pink body, fluffy pink hair, blue eyes, and a mark that consists of two blue balloons and one yellow one. She takes a long look at me before sucking in a large gasp and springing into the air. The second she lands, she immediately runs out the door.

"Who was that?" I ask.

"That would be Pinkie Pie," says Twilight as she returns to her book.

"Did I scare her?"

"I doubt it. She probably went to go plan you a welcome-to-Ponyville party."

"Oh, OK... WAIT, WHAT?!" I run out of the kitchen and go to chase her down. She left the door open, so I run through it, only to have a blue energy field appear and send me flying back into the room. My head slams against the wall and I pass out.

When I regain consciousness, I find myself in my cot. I sit up and begin getting out of bed, when the sound of foo—er, hoofsteps coming down the stairs catches my attention. I look up to see Twilight and Pinkie Pie walking down.

"Hey there, sleepy head! How ya feelin’?" asks Pinkie Pie in a peppy voice.

"Well, I feel like I went twelve rounds with a brick wall - and lost - but other than that, fine, I guess." As I stand up, I feel slightly disoriented. I take a moment to collect myself before meeting them at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm Miles," I say as I stick my hand out for a handshake. When she takes my hand, I feel jolts of electricity go through my arm. Luckily for me, my magic reduces it to less than a numb tingle. Her smile drops and she takes a look at her hoof, then grabs it with her other hoof. She jumps in the air as the electricity runs through her body.

"Hey! Why didn't it shock you?" she asks as she takes the buzzer off her hoof.

"It did. It just didn't hurt." Pinkie Pie looks a little disappointed by this - Twilight looks intrigued - but she immediately cheers back up and begins hopping in place.

"Miles, you need to come with me and Twilight right now!" Before I can say anything, she turns and runs back up the stairs at an unnatural speed. I turn to Twilight, who only offers a timid smile before running after her friend. With a sigh, I follow suit. I make it to the front room, and everything is dark. I think I can hear whispers. Suddenly, the lights flash on and I’m surrounded by dozens of ponies.

"SURPRISE!" they yell, followed by one more surprise shouted from Pinkie Pie.

"AAUGH!" I turn and run back up the stairs as fast as humanly possible. Why did it have to be a party?! Of all the possible things, they throw a party! I stop at the second door in Twilight's room and think for a second. They’ll probably look for me down there. I look around the room and spot a window next to Twilight's bed. That'll have to work. I run up, slide the window open and try to jump out, only to be thrown back in by the same blue energy from before. Lucky for me, Twilight's bed catches me this time.

"Son of a bitch, what was that?!" I ask as I get back up.

"Miles!" I turn to see Twilight standing at the bottom of the stairs. "What was that all about?"

"You tell me! Why were there so many people down there?!"

"It’s your welcome-to-Ponyville party. Pinkie Pie threw it for you, and you really upset her when you ran away."

"First off, I didn't ask for a party! If you had asked, you would have found out that I hate parties! Secondly, I thought that you all thought I was some sort of ‘threat to ponies.’"

"That's up to me to decide. And I decided that you would be fine for one night. But, why do you hate parties?"

"I-I just don't like them. Of all the parties I've ever been to, there's only been one I liked, and it only had ten people in it. Please don't make me do this - please!" Oh please, oh please, oh please don't make me go.

"Well... just stay here one minute." She turns and goes back down the stairs. I'm beginning to panic here. I sit in the corner of the room and try to get a hold of myself. I don't quite remember why, but the thought of parties throws me off the edge. Why can't I remember?

"Miles?" Twilight calls out. I give myself a quick shake and go to the edge of the stairs.

"Y-yeah?"

"I’m sending everypony home, except for a few. I want you to at least meet my friends."

"Oh sweet Barbra... alright... I think I can handle a few ponies."

"Ok, just give us a few minutes to get everypony out of here, then I'll call you down." I give her a small smile and a nod, and she returns the gesture and walks down the stairs. I take this moment to collect my nerves. Hopefully, if I can make a good enough impression, I can get out of here sooner. Then... then...

I distract myself from that thought by going back to the window. I wonder what kind of energy field I’m dealing with... I stick my hand through the window and-

BZZZZZT

"AAAH!" My hand is zapped. I pull it back and shake out the pain. Hmm... I wonder.... I reach my hand out slowly, and...

BZZZT, ow. Less pain. Let’s try that again.

BZZT, ow.

Bzzt, ow.

After the last attempt, I find the sweet spot. It's roughly six centimeters out of the window. At this distance, a gentle numbness surrounds my hand.

"Miles, can you come down please?" Twilight calls out.

Well, here goes nothing. I walk down the stairs and stop in the doorway to the front room. It’s littered with confetti and streamers; a few tables have been placed around the room with various treats and beverages; a giant sign is hanging on the wall above the main door; and in the center are five ponies, lined up and facing me. I recognize the three on the right as Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. The one directly to the left of them is a pegasus with a light-blue body, magenta eyes, and multi-colored hair - it goes red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and finally purple. Her mark is of a white clump shooting a bolt that’s colored like her hair. She stands with an impatient demeanor, like she has somewhere to go. The next pony is an all-white unicorn, with purple hair that has large curls in it, and three diamonds for a mark.

"These are my friends: Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack. Everypony, this is Miles." I give a small wave as they all stare at me with wonder in their eyes. An awkward silence falls over the room. I don't know what to say, what to do. Maybe just a ‘hello’, or a-

"My, darling, you must tell me who made your outfit! It’s simply stunning," Rarity says as she begins walking around me. "So bold, yet so refined. OH! And I simply love the accessories."

"Uh... thank you? My uniform was made by T.A.S. It’s standard issue for my rank."

"And what rank would that be?" asks Storm Cloud from a seat behind one of the tables.

"Lieutenant. First battalion, Spartan regiment." I look back and see Rainbow Dash fly straight into my face.

"So what’s the deal with ruining Pinkie Pie’s party?!" Before I can answer, Applejack pulls her down to the ground by biting her tail.

"Sorry bout this one. She can be a bit forward," Applejack says while giving Rainbow Dash a mean look, making her look away and cross her forelegs.

"Well, to put it simply," I say as I walk from table to table, “I don't like parties-"

"What?!" yells Pinkie Pie. "How could you not like parties?! Parties are super-duper ultra-awesome fun!"

I look back at her and give a small shrug. "Sorry, but me and parties don't mix." I stop at the second table when I notice something that catches my eye. I pick up a single red rose and look it over. Pinkie Pie suddenly appears next to me, hopping in place.

"Go on, try one!"

"One what?" She picks up one of the roses and bites off the flower, chewing it loudly. I look at her in a state of shock.

"What? It’s good!" she says as she chews aloud.

"OK, OK, that's the last straw. First the pancakes, then the sapphires, and now you’re telling me that you eat flowers?! Why would you eat something so precious?!" Again, everyone in the room is looking at me like I'm the crazy one.

"Miles," Twilight says, "its clear there are some... cultural differences. Could we maybe quiz you on some things so we can better understand one another?" I'm still in shock from Pinkie eating the flower, but find a nearby seat and slump into it, burying my face in my hands.

"*sigh* Alright, but understand that even though I may be your prisoner, I won’t answer all your questions." I guess they all accept this, because they come to the table and take seats. "So, how're we gonna do this?" I ask as I lift my head from my hands.

"Well, I'm sure everypony has questions, so how about we go in a circle? One question per pony?" Twilight suggests.

"OH! Me first, me first, please!" yells Pinkie Pie as she waves her hoof in the air. “Why don't you like parties?"

"*sigh* I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. But ever since I was little, whenever someone would say ‘party,’ my heart would race and I would get all jumpy." This seems to satisfy her. Next is either Fluttershy or Applejack.

"What was that explosion from yesterday?" asks Applejack.

"A frag grenade," I state simply.

"What's a ‘frag grenade?’" she asks.

"I thought we were doing one question per person."

"Alright, what's a ‘frag grenade?’" asks Twilight, who’s next in line.

"It's a weapon." This seems to get Storm Cloud’s attention, because as soon as I say it, he makes a beeline for me.

"You wouldn't happen to have any more of those on you, would you?" Shit. I forgot about those when I surrendered. I smile as I pull out the three remaining grenades and set them on the table.

"Sorry about that. I forgot I had them." He goes to bite them, but I stop him by pushing his face away. "Don't put the blue ones in your mouth!"

"Why?"

"Well... they are... they burn when exposed to flesh." This seems to set everyone on edge. Storm Cloud looks down at the two arcane grenades, then back to Twilight.

"Would you please levitate these to the weapon chest, Miss Sparkle?" She nods and does so. The chest opens up and closes as she sets them down inside.

"OK, now that that’s done with, it's your turn, Miles," Twilight says to me. I think for a second, and something that's been bothering me comes to mind.

"What are those columns out by your place, Fluttershy?" She looks confused by my question. "You know, those tall things with the green things covering them. There are hundreds of them by your place. And even more by Applejack's. We’re in one right now!"

"You mean, trees?" Fluttershy asks.

"‘Trees’? Huh..."

"Wait, wait, wait. You don't know what a tree is, but you know what a flower is?! How does that work?!" Rainbow Dash asks.

"Well, where I come from, we don't have anything like them. We only have flowers because we make them. And even then, they’re extremely rare."

"OK, my turn. How-" Rainbow starts.

"You already asked a question," I interrupt. "Rarity is next." Rainbow Dash pouts a little but doesn't say anything.

"Is this all of your uniform? It seems a little incomplete..."

"Actually, I'm missing my shirt, as well as all of my armor." She thinks about this deeply, but then turns to Fluttershy.

"So, what plants do you know about? If you don't mind my asking," Fluttershy asks timidly.

"Well, as of right now, trees and a couple flowers." The room falls silent over this. The girls keep looking to one another, while Storm Cloud is back in his seat, shaking his head.

"Hey! Don't I get a question?" asks Spike as he enters from the kitchen, wearing an apron with pink hearts. Da fuck?

"Sure, Spike… but on one condition: please take off that apron." He looks down and pulls the apron off and storms back into kitchen. Everyone else gives a small chuckle. He comes back and pulls up a seat next to Rarity, who rubs the side of her face against his.

"How old are you?" he asks.

"Well, I'm six." This gets the attention of everyone, and they stare at me in disbelief. Ha, I love doing this. "Not really. I'm actually twenty-four. My birthday is on February twenty-ninth, so it only happens once every four years." This makes them all relax a little, which makes me relax. So they do have leap years here. Pinkie Pie is next.

"Hmm... why don't you like parties?"

"You already asked that, Pinkie."

"Oh yeah! Well then, can I throw you a party for your birthday? I promise to keep it small, and nothing bad will happen; I Pinkie Promise." As she says that, she crosses her chest, flaps her legs, and then sticks her hoof in her eye. Again, da fuck?

"We’ll see... Next!"

Applejack looks me over a bit before asking, "Why are ya all muscly?" I look down at myself. My body is mostly muscle, so they’re very defined.

"Well, being a soldier means having to be in top physical condition."

"I've got a question," says Storm Cloud from the back. "You’re a soldier, so you belong to an army. Where is this army, and what are the chances of them coming for you?" I look at him and begin filling with sorrow again.

"Well... I don't think they'll be looking for a soldier that went M.I.A. three-thousand years ago..." Everyone looks at me in disbelief. As my heart begins to fall, our attention is pulled away by a sound coming from outside. Rainbow Dash quickly flies out and comes back with a shocked expression.

"STAMPEDE!"

I want to thank Cheesus for being the first person to use the Brony Point system. He got to choose Miles's Birthday and he picked an awesome day.