My name is Doctor Samuel Beckett. After an experiment of mine failed, I was sent through the time stream, forced to jump across history and appearing in a different body each time. From quantum leap to quantum leap, I´ve been many people, from different ages, races and even gender. I always appear when I´m need, called by some unknown force to set right what once went wrong. My life has been nothing short of strange but this time, this time I think it´s the strangest of my adventures….

****

“AAAAAHHHH!!”

“AH! What´s wrong, dude?”

Dude? What? What is that thing? Is that a horse? It looks like a horse but it has a horn so it must be an unicorn. More importantly, it´s talking. Why is a horse talking?

“What are you?”

“What am I? Oh you mean my character, well I was a 12 level paladin but after you tricked me into opening that chest I´ve been turned into a sprite. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Hey, at least you can fly. My elf-pegasus is still covered in goo after that slime attacked us. Thanks for that, by the way.”

What is he talking about? What is going on? Why is that horse wearing glasses and brackets? I need to see what I look now.

“Bathroom.”

“What?”

“I need a bathroom. Now.”

“Okay. Trid door at the left, up the stairs. Make sure to knock first, my little sister might be in.”

I have to see what I look now, to make some sense out of this. Auh, what´s wrong with my legs? Where are my legs? Are these...hooves? I need to see…

“Oh boy…”

Well, I'm definitely a horse. No, I´m actually a pony. I can tell by the shape of the nuzzle. Advantages of growing up at a farm. But what happened? How did I end up in a pony´s body? I remember turning into a chimp once but at least chimps and humans are slightly related. Besides, normal ponies don´t talk or wear clothes or have houses for that matter. I´ve no idea what´s going on and the only person who can help me is not here. Oh Al, where are you?

“AHHH!!”

“AHHH!”

“What´s that? A horse?”

“I´m not a horse. I´m a pony.”

“A talking horse?”

“You´re a talking horse! Wait, those awful shirts. Al, is that you?”

“What? Sam, is that you?”

Oh great, so Al is a pony too. Al is my partner, the Watson of my Sherlock, the Robin of my Batman, however you want to call him. He´s my best friend and the only solace of sanity I have when I jump from body to body. He provides me with all the information I need to do my job, most of the time. He also helps me fill the gaps in my memory since one of the side effects of the quantum leaps was a full amnesia, but I doubt he can be of much help here.

“Sam, what happened to you?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing. How could I end up in the body of a complete different species? More importantly, why don´t I look like a normal pony? Sam, stop staring at your hooves!”

“Sorry, it´s just so strange. This has never happened before. I always see you as the body you ended up with, but this is the first time I´ve changed too which is very confusing.”

“Welcome to my world, Al. Now, care to give me explanations?”

“Hang on, I´ll ask Ziggy. He´s just as confused as we aware.”

Great, if our information source back home can´t help us, I doubt we´ll get any information on what´s going on in here. Are we even on the planet Earth? Maybe this is a parallel time line where horse became intelligent and take over the world like in Planet of the Apes. If I was supposed to stop that, I think I arrived a little too late.

“Gah, Ziggy has nothing! He has no information about this!”

“Great.”

“Wait, someone or something, it´s uploading a lot of information on our database. I need to go back to check things with Ziggy. I just hope I don't show up as a horse there.”

“Pony, Al.”

Al ignores me and disappears on that bright door. Wish I could go with him but Al is nothing but a hologram that only I can see and hear. Well, kids and animals can see it too. Wait, does that means that all the creatures here can see him? Theýre all animals, after all.

“Dude? You okay there?”

“Oh come on, give a guy some privacy!”

“Gross! That´s my bathroom! Dude, come out now!”

I should probably go out. But what I´m supposed to do and say? I don´t even know my name now. Oh well, I guess I have no choice but to ride this pony. I´m confused now.

“You okay there, dude?”

“Umh, yeah…”

Darn, if only I knew the name of this pony. Why do they have marks on their flanks? Maybe that´s a clue for what they are. Mh, for some reason that sounds familiar.

“Sure you´re fine?”

“I´m fine...Captain Unicorn.”

“That´s my new nickname? I like it.”

“Suits you well, Shining Armor.”

Well, excuse for taking a wild guess. What about this pony with wings? He has a...video game alien on his flank? That´s weird.

“Wanna be my trusty sidekick, 8-bit?”

“I´m more of a lone vigilante, dude.”

Great, keep calling each other by name.

“Ah, this is just rich. Shingin gets to be a captain, 8-bit is a vigilante. What am I supposed to be, the cheerleader? You never give me a break, Gaffer!”

“Hey, don´t...don´t put the blame all on me, Poindexter!”

“And I don´t even get a fancy nickname? That's just great!”

Woah, I wasn´t expecting his name to actually be Poindexter. I was just being sarcastic. At least I know my name now Gaffer, uh? Sounds like an appropriate name. Now that I have a better look at my body, I can see the mark on my flank. Seems like a dice or something.

“So, the new names are fun and all but are we going to finish our Oubliettes and Ogres game?” Shining Armor asks.

“I still haven't got a nickname.”

“Give it a rest, Poindexter, “ 8-bit says.

“Umh, sure, let´s go downstairs…”

What else can I say? I´m still trying to get used to walk in all four legs. How am I supposed to pick up things with these things? I´ve no fingers now. What is he doing? Did he just made that plastic figurine levitate? Well, we´re both unicorns so I guess we´re magical creatures. But how do I do it? Maybe if I just concentrate in what I want to levitate. Imagine there's an invisible hand around it, just concentrate around it. Come on Sam, you can do it. Just concentrate…

“Auh! Why the hell did you do that?”

“Sorry 8-bit. I just...I´m not good with my horn, it seems. I seem to  rush it when using it.”

Oh god, I hope that didn't come out as I think it did.

“Hahaha, oh dude! That's...hahaha!”

Well, at least I´m the life of the party.

“Okay, enough fun guys. I´m going to check on my sister and then we better finish the game. If my mind finds out we have been down here all day instead of checking her, I'm going to be in a world of trouble,” 8-bit says.

“How come you never let her play with us?” Shining Armor asks.

“You don´t let girls play Oubliettes and Ogres! It´s a stallions game!” Poindexter replies.

“Oh come on, you're just saying that because her unicorn sorceress is a higher level than your character.”

“Of course not.”

So I think I´ve our roles figured out. I seem to be the fun one, Shining Armor is the nice one, 8-bit the level headed one and poor Poindexter is the punch line. Seems I arrived in the middle of a lovely group of teenagers. That´s what we are, right? Then why was I called here? What I´m supposed to fix? And more importantly, how the hay do you play Oubliettes and Ogres?

Wait a minute, did I just said how the hay?