“You’ll have to be more specific than that, Spike,” Twilight said as she half-trotted, half-floated down the staircase. “Last time you said you were going to ‘share’ it with Tank, and he didn’t get one---“

She froze on the last step when she noticed Spike’s not-so-subtle motions towards Applejack. Twilight took one look at her friend, and her wings flared up in a bristling horror. “Oh, by the goddesses…! Applejack, I---What happened?!”

Answering seemed impossible. Applejack tried to breathe in through her nose, but all she could manage was a snotty, snuffling grunt.

“It’s not the foal, is it?” She hurried over and put a hoof on her trembling shoulder. “Is something wrong with her?”

“N-no, I…”

“Are you spotting? Is she still moving? Did they find an abnormali---”

A hoof slammed down on hers before she could move it to Applejack’s side. Startled, Twilight looked back to her friend’s face; she had expected to see the sadness there, but on some primeval level, she recognized it not as the grief of a mother, but something else entirely.

“Dammit, Twi! D’you know why you got two ears but only one mouth? It’s so y’can do twice the listenin’ an’ half the talkin!”

She bit her lip when she heard her voice reverb off the crystal walls, a haunting echo of own Ma’s words that she’d heard so often before.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to snap like that. I…”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m sorry, too.” Sitting on her haunches, she put both forehooves on Applejack’s shoulders and squared her purple eyes on the green ones. “I’m listening.”

“It’s…” And the words left her. She just couldn’t speak. She was just standing there---in front of a Princess, no less!---weak and mute and stupid, and suddenly it felt like all the strength and knowledge she’d accumulated over the years had been sucked right out of her. It felt like she was seventeen again, just a dumb, dirty, gullible, trusting mud pony watching her coltfriend walking away from her less than a week before prom, after she’d saved up for the dress, the dress she’d picked out based on the corsage he’d sworn he would buy her stop it stop it stop thinking about it, AJ, yer stronger than that!…

“It’s Flim,” she moaned, dropping her face against Twilight’s neck. “The foal’s f-fine, but… Flim… he…”

Without breaking the hug, Twilight turned her head. “Spike?”

“I’m on it,” he said, already sprinting towards the kitchen.

A gust of wind whistled through the opened door, making them both shiver despite their shared body heat. “Applejack,” she said, brushing her hoof against the wet, freckled cheek, “Do you want to come in?”

“Uh-h-h-huh,” she managed.

“C’mon. Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable than a doorway.”

The sweep of a wing over her back guided her in through the door, which closed behind them with a pristine click. It sounded so different than the earthy thump of the old library door, something she hadn’t realized she missed until now. Applejack’s head drooped further. It wasn’t that she was afraid of change, but... did it all have to happen so fast?

They walked in a slow silence through the seemingly-neverending hallway, Applejack’s legs trembling worse than at the end of Apple Bucking season. Her eyes were so lidded they were almost closed, and she leaned heavily against her friend, letting her lead her like a blind pony’s dog; when she felt the press of soft cushions against her back legs, she buckled, collapsing into a chair she hadn’t realized was there.

A hoof under her chin tilted her head up, and Applejack finally opened her eyes, her tears sticking to her lashes. Twilight was trying to look comforting, but there was clear worry in her eyes. “Okay. Nopony’s going to walk in on us now. Heh, except for Spike, but he’s bringing the ice cream.”

“I…”

Twilight’s shoulder pressed against her chin, and she let her head fall forward again, weeping. “He…He… He’s leavin,” she sobbed. “Flim’s leavin’ me. He’s…”

“Shh. Shh, sweetie. Shh.”

At first she thought Twilight was twisting her face away to keep from having to feel the rivulets of snot and tears, but it then it clicked that she was actually just moving to keep from putting an eye out with her horn. It was such a simple gesture, but there was so much care and concern behind it that it made her choke up anew, and she groaned in a deep-seated pain when she thought of how many unfamiliar things she’d have to teach her little unicorn daughter.

“Here.” A flash of magic set the dormant fireplace ablaze, and Twilight pulled back, her lips spread in a warm smile. Applejack rubbed her eyes and looked around in surprise; despite her many visits to the Palace, she’d had no idea that this cozy little room even existed. The glow of the fire cast soft shadows around the walls, most of which were hidden behind bookcases, bridged by a well-worn throw rug that had several generations’ worth of cutie marks stitched into it. This must be her private reading room, she realized, and quivered a little at the thought of having entered a place Twilight would consider… intimate?

“So,” Twilight said, sitting herself on the rug beside the chair, “Do you want to, uh… talk about it?”
It took her several shaky breaths before she found her voice again. “He’s leavin’ me,” she said again, and then looked down at where her lap used to be. “He’s leavin’ us.”

Twilight folded her ankles over the arm of the chair. “What makes you think that?”

“Because---because he said so!”

“Did you have a fight?”

She nodded numbly.

“What did he say?” It looked like she was trying her hardest to keep a calm demeanour, but one of her eyelids was flickering. “What did he do to hurt you?”

Before she could answer, there was a half-hearted knock on the door, followed by Spike poking his head into the room. He instantly recognized The Look on Twilight’s face, and braced himself. “Uh… am I interrupting?”

“Not at all,” she said, gesturing for him to come in. He did so hesitantly; years of living amongst mares had taught him to sense the dangerous crackle of estrogen in the air.

Better tread carefully. “So, uh, sorry it took me so long, but I wanted to whip up something fancy.”

It took a few bleary blinks before Applejack realized what had been placed in front of her. Spike had prepared a giant bowl of ice cream, topped with sprinkles and three kinds of syrup. There was even a cherry propped on of a pillow of whipped cream.

“I call it the ‘Heartbreak Special’!”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him dodge a swat from Twilight.

“What?” he said, still shielding his head. “I thought that’s what she needed!”

She could see Twilight drawing in a breath, so she decided to butt in before the reproach could come: “Thank ya kindly,” she said through a very raw throat, “This… looks wonderful.”

“Anything else you want while I’m up?” he said, bouncing on his heels. “Cocoa, maybe? Or I could make some herbal tea---”

“I… I’d like...” She stared at the ice cream in front of her, and, with a stabbing kind of rage, noticed something familiar about the shape of the two lopsided scoops. All that was missing was a strategically-placed banana. And maybe a very sharp knife. “I want Flim Skim’s balls on a platter!!”

Spike was already inching backwards. “Uh, well, w-we have jasmine or chamomile.”

“Why not make a pot of both?” Twilight wasn’t sure whether to reach out to her distressed friend or her assistant, who was beginning to nibble on his claw-tips. “We might be here for awhile.”

He heaved a visible sigh of relief when he realized he had an out. “Great! I’ll do that. I’ll just leave you two, and---“

“NO!”

She didn’t realize she’d slammed her hooves on the armrests until she saw them both jump. “No,” Applejack repeated, and pointed right at him. “You stay right there, and you listen!”

“Applejack---“

She cut her off. “Let him stay, Twi’. Best he hear this, so that he never, ever goes on t’hurt a mare the way Flim hurt me!”

Carefully leaning in, she drew a wing beside her face to block Spike from reading her lips. “Applejack,” she whispered, “Do you know how old he is?”

“I don’t care! It’s a good learning experience fer a young fella! Ain’t that what yer all about, huh? Learning experiences?”

“Well, yes, but---“ She put a hoof over her mouth, coughed, and looked somewhere to her left. “Learning should be appropriate for its intended audience. What if you feel like, you know, discussing… more… private matters?”

She turned to him, seemingly oblivious to how tiny his pupils had become. “Spike! D’you know where babies come from?”

For a moment he looked frozen. Then he slowly lifted his arms, and made a circle with his index and thumb. Using his other hand, he poked a claw into the ring, then withdrew it. “Not to put too fine a point on it, but, yeah, I do.”

She felt her mouth open a little when she noticed he kept repeating the gesture, and hoped neither of them noticed her cheeks flush. “Uh---Good! Then you c’n stay.”

“You seem surprised, Applejack.” With a sharp jab of her pinions, she signaled for him to stop, and he sheepishly dropped his claws back to his sides. “Do you really think I’d tell him some old ponytale about a stork?”

“She answered every question I had,” he said, his mouth screwed to the side in embarrassment. “And every question I didn’t know I had. And…” He put his arms around himself and shuddered. “Then she started asking me questions, and, hoo boy---the term ‘pop quiz’ hasn’t seemed the same since.“

“Well I wasn’t going to lie, Spike!”

“Flim did,” Applejack mumbled. The cherry was beginning to slide down the side of the melting ice cream, but she couldn’t bring herself to taste it, even though it seemed like such a waste. Another tear hit the top of her belly. Such a waste… “Flim’s been lyin’ this whole time.”

She watched the magical aura surround her dessert and re-freeze it. Twilight was nodding for her to continue. “Was that what the fight was about?”

“You know what, Twilight? I shoulda listened to you when I had the chance!” One of them, she didn’t see who, had placed a box of tissues by her elbow, so she ripped a few out and smeared the wad against her face. “You were right! Some stallions jes’ act sweet, ‘cause it gets ‘em what they want! I didn’t believe you at the time, but---but if I’d listened---“ She blew her nose---not that it did much good---and chucked the sodden tissues into the fireplace. “Aw, what am I sayin’? By then it was too late! I was in too deep, he’d---he’d already---we’d---“

“I’m not really following,” Twilight said gently. She knew---but was definitely not about to tell Applejack---the effects of progesterone on the brain, and how addled a pregnant mare’s memories could get; this conversation was going to need some delicate steering. “Why don’t you go back to the start, and go from there?”

“The start? What’s the start?” She began irritably scratching around her ears. Great. Am I growin’ hair in there, too? “Was it when he knocked me up? Or when we started dancin’? Or was it even before that, when he barged into my life with that tree-suckin’ monstrosity?” Her hooves were restless, going from her stretched belly, to her ears, then to her hat, and around again. “Or was it when he pulled me in close an’ called me ‘sweetheart’ fer the first time? Was he lyin’ then? Y’know, I think the only time he ever told me the whole truth was when I said I was fallin’ fer him, and he told me I’d ‘get hurt on the way down’! Argh!” That particular memory came back with all its horrible, caustic emotions, and she flung her hat to the floor. “Dammit, gimme that ice cream!”

Twilight and Spike looked on in amazement as she chomped half of it down in three bites.

“An’ you know the worst part?” she went on, licking a dollop of whipped cream off the corner of her mouth. “The worst part is, I think he even believed some of the stuff he was fillin’ my head with! I mean, when ya got a mouth like a sewer pipe, maybe after awhile y’stop noticin’ when yer spewing shit! Ah---“ She pushed a hoof against her forehead as the underside of her scalp cramped up. “Brainfreeze!”

“I know how to fix that!” His reptilian tongue snaked out of his mouth, curled up on itself, and slithered back inside. “Presth ith againsth ve roov of your mouf. Worfs efery time.”

“I’m not sure if Applejack can do that, Spike. Pony tongues can do amazing things, but they aren’t as talented as dragons’.” She blushed and squeezed her eyes shut. “And that came out entirely wrong.”

Applejack pushed the dish away, her head still throbbing. “Great. Now even ice cream’s turning against me.”

“Hey.” The nuzzle was light, unobtrusive, and seemed to make her headache edge back. “You said you were falling for him...?”

Gods, why did she have to say that? Why did she have to say that twice?“Y-yeah.”

The next words were low and soft: “How far did you fall?”

“I… I don’t know, Twilight! I don’t know,” she said, and brushed her fetlocks over her eyes. “There were so many times I felt like throttlin’ him, but… but there were times I felt like…” Like what? The words were coming from a part of her she didn’t know she had, somewhere deep in her chest: “…Like the whole world was spinnin’ around us, but it didn’t matter, ‘cause it was jes’ him an’ me.”

“Like it didn’t matter that you drool in your sleep and he snores, because you still wake up smiling?”

That brought a grin to her face. “Yeah, but the other way around! It was like… it didn’t matter that I got caught sneakin’ him into my room, ‘cause fer once, I didn’t regret it.” The grin softened into a lazy smile, and again she said “I didn’t regret it. That night I spent with him was so nice. An’ he was so sweet... It was worth gettin’ a faceful of piss!”

“O-kay,” she said as her face paled. “That’s… a little more than I needed to know about your, ahem, particular proclivities, Applejack.” Then she threw a hoof over her heart in the first motion of a Pinkie Pie Swear. “But I’m not going to judge! Watersports are, for the most part, harmless. If you want to be a urolagniac, that’s your---”

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Now she was laughing, even though some tears were still oozing out. “It’s nothin’ like that! Big MacIntosh was so steamed when he found Flim in my bedroom he dumped my chamber pot all over us!”

Spike pressed his palm against his temple. “A ’urolangiac’?”

“Oh.” A little pink lit up her face, and she giggled. “Oh my goodness. You wouldn’t believe the mental image I just had! Well, that’s what I get for jumping to conclusions.”

“...Sure was brave of him to risk life an’ limb fer me,” she said.

Although it was barely audible, Twilight had heard. “Well, there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.”

They turned in the direction of pattering footsteps. Spike was heading towards the reference section, scratching his head.

“Huh. He might know ‘tab a goes in slot b’, but I guess there are some things he’s still got to learn.”

“And I’d like to keep it that way, at least for now.” Even though he was probably out of hearing range, she lowered her voice anyway: “If you really think he should stay and listen, would you mind keeping some of the details a little… vague?”

“I gotcha. No beejays, jes’ cuddlin’.”

She got a strange look on her face, one Applejack hadn’t seen since the ultrasound. “The little ones just grow up so fast.”

And then her eyes lost their misty covering and bugged out in horror.

“What?” Her friend was holding a tremulous hoof over her mouth, and for all intents and purposes looked like she’d just blabbed Equestrian secrets to an invading army. “Sugarcube, what is it?”

The hoof lowered from her mouth, and bit by bit, the colour returned to her face. “Applejack… I think I just turned into my brother!”

“Huh?”

She pulled her knees up to her barrel and wrapped her forelegs around them, rocking like a little filly. The lower part of her face was obscured, but the upturned sides of her grin were showing. “’The little ones grow up so fast’. That’s exactly what he said after he caught me in a similarly compromising position.”

“You mean---?”

“Yup,” she said, and laughed into her chest, looking for a moment as bashful as Applejack had ever seen her. “Except we were on the couch, and he was supposed to be at an Oubliettes and Ogres meeting. The one night he comes home early...!”

Her earlier gloom lifted, if only momentarily. “So, did he get his hooves on a chamber pot?”

“No. But… well, let’s just say he rolled eighteen in Strength, and one in Wisdom. Not a good combination.”

Applejack couldn’t help but laugh. It felt like her tears were drying. “I have no idea what that means.”

“It means he went ballistic,” she smirked. “He grabbed a lamp and went after my coltfriend, roaring at the top of his lungs.”

“Heh.” She nudged what was left of the sundae over to Twilight, and lifted it in a toast. “Here’s to overprotective big brothers.”

She tilted her head in a mock-bow, and let the tip of her tongue graze over the proffered dessert. “And to mares who don’t plan far enough ahead.”

“To extremely awkward morning-after conversations!”

Twilight’s feathers were fluttering out from her sides as she laughed. “To the universal stupidity of colts who lose braincells when the blood flows lower!”

“And to full-grown stallions who scream like little fillies!”

They locked eyes over the top of the ice cream mound, and gave each other matching smiles. The gears in her brain had been clunking around clumsily ever since she’d entered, but now they clicked right into place: “Jeez, Twilight… you were in love once, too, weren’tcha?”

“Yeah…” she said as her eyes lazily traced around the floor. “More than once, actually.”

“I’m back!” Spike declared as he slowly staggered towards them, an opened dictionary balanced on his spread palms. “And I found out what Twilight was talking about back there!”

He peeked over the pages at the two giggling mares, and clapped the book closed. “What did I miss?”

Applejack adjusted her hat, grinning. “Nothin’ much, Spike.”

Twilight pulled her lower lip into her mouth. “Yes, nothing much… besides AJ admitting that she’s in love.”

“WHAT?!”

He let the book drop to the floor. “Whoa! Really?”

“NO!” Applejack sat up harshly, her hind hooves inadvertently kicking the dessert across the tiles. “No, I did NOT say that!”

“Applejack.” Using her magic to right the upturned bowl, she again took a hoof between her own. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

She yanked it away. “A’course it is! I can’t believe I fell fer that lyin’ little weasel!”

“So you did fall for him? I don’t get it. Are you or aren’t you in l-mmph!”

The tail in his mouth had shut him up, but it was the glare that kept him that way. Turning back to her friend, Twilight patted her on the shoulder and said “Why don’t you tell me what the fight was about? It’ll be good to get it off your chest. Maybe we can even figure out how you two can make up.”

“Ppft. This ain’t somethin’ that can be fixed.”

“Sure it is!” she said brightly. “Think of everything we’ve been through together. Our friendship has always beaten the odds, right?”

“Right, but---”

“So who’s to say a little lovers’ spat can’t be fixed? You said yourself that spending a night with him was worth facing your brother’s fury! Isn’t a chance at love worth fighting for?”

“I hate to tell you this, but love doesn’t always conquer all,” she said with a bitter laugh. She wasn’t sure if using Flim’s own words against him was ironic, or just spiteful. “Sure, I’m mad at him fer lyin’ t’me, but it ain’t jes’ that. He ain’t the kinda pony I wanna raise a family with, an’ he told me he ain’t gonna change! So why bother?”

“Hey, even Discord changed his ways,” Spike pointed out. “More or less.”

“And Trixie apologized for her behaviour.”

Had her nostrils not been stuffed from her crying jag, she would have snorted. “Oh yeah. Trixie. She’s a real angel, that one.”

After exchanging an uneasy glance with her assistant, Twilight drew a breath and said, slowly, “Applejack, we just want what’s best for you. If that ultimately means breaking up with Flim, we’ll understand.”

She thinned her lips. “Sounds like there’s a ‘but’ in there.”

“Sometimes what we think is a dead end turns out to be a hidden crossroad.”

The confusion was fairly evident on her face, so Twilight shuffled closer, looking at her in earnest. “You’ve seemed so different lately. You’ve practically been glowing, and not just from the pregnancy! Now, I may not be an expert when it comes to matters of the heart, but when you were talking about lying next to him in bed, well... I’ve never seen you smile like that before.”

“So?!” she spat, her face all hot. Is she stickin’ up fer him?

As if reading her thoughts, she went on: “Don’t get me wrong; I don’t doubt that Flim’s capable of doing something awful. And if he’s hurt you, well, I’ll k---“ The sound of her rustling feathers caught her attention, and she quelled the spark of protective anger that had bubbled up. “---I’ll have a very stern word with him.” Without breaking eye contact, she pulled a chair next to Applejack’s and sat down, wrapping her tail around her haunches. “I just want to see you happy, Applejack. Now, why don’t you tell me what the fight was about?”

“I’ll do better’n that. I’ll show ya!”

She looked down to her saddlebag, and she let out a punctured sigh. Just now she’d remembered that all the photos had been snatched up at the hospital. “Uh, nevermind. Flam’s got the evidence.”

“’Evidence’?”

“Yeah. A buncha photos of Flim doin’ the nasty with a Wonderbolt.”

“Oh!” Twilight’s ears folded back. “He’s cheating on you?!”

“No! He ain’t had the chance since he was here. He’s either been on the farm, or in the hospital.” She folded her arms with a sneer. “But that’s probably the only reason he hasn’t gone chasin’ after somepony else. I’m jes’ the last notch on his bedpost after Soarin’. And Celestia knows who else!”

“Wait a minute,” Spike said. “Are you sure you got that right? Soarin’s’ a stallion.”

“Yeah, exactly! That’s exactly it! He’s queer!”

The cushions squeaked as Twilight shifted. “Oh, Applejack. That’s rough.”

“I know,” she mumbled as she slumped farther down, her belly nearly blocking her view.

“If it’s any consolation, you’re not the first mare who’s fallen for a coltcuddler.” She was smiling, but with a strange, yearning kind of look behind it. “I had a crush on this colt when I was younger, but Cadence has an eerily accurate gaydar, and she pegged him a mile away. It might have had something to do with meeting him at the Drama club---“

“Twilight!” She groaned, struggling to sit back up despite the thrashing of tiny limbs inside her. “He’s not a coltcuddler. He’s….” The word gathered at the back of her throat, and she spat it out as if she could taste it: “He’s bisexual.”

“So... he is attracted to you?”

She briefly closed her eyes, and she remembered every lustful look he’d shot at her. “Yeah.”

“Well, what’s the problem?”

“Didntcha hear me? He’s queer!” she said in exasperation. “He knows how I feel about that, an’ he’s been keepin’ that from me!”

She thought she noticed the Princess’ eyes were a little tighter than they had been a moment before. “So is the problem that he didn’t tell you he’s bi, or that he is bi?”

“Both!”

For a few moments, no one spoke, and Applejack wondered if she’d given the wrong answer to a trick question. Twilight finally broke the silence: “Does Rainbow Dash know how you feel?”

“What’s that got to do with it? Her barn door swings one way, an’ one way only. In fact, it swings so far one way I sometimes think she’s a straight stallion in a fillyfooler’s body.”

“What about Pinkie?”

“Same thing. She knows who she wants to be with.”

“Her marefriend swings both ways.”

“Yeah, well, Screw Loose has got a screw loose.” She attempted a smile, but for some reason it faltered. “An’ I don’t fault her fer that, but... look, Twilight, I’m-a tell you somethin’, an’ I hope it doesn’t leave this room.” She leaned closer, balancing her weight on her elbow. “I tolerate them bein’ together ‘cause it makes Pinkie---well, both a’them---happy, but I’ve never approved. Datin’ yer boss’ sister? Who’s twice yer age?” She paused and looked down at her belly. Ever since she’d looked at the empty hooks where the shotgun usually hung, she’d been so focused on her own worries that she’d barely spent any time with her friends. Never in her life did she think she’d end up the kind of mare who got so distracted by a stallion she’d let her social life lag---hell, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d checked in with Pinkie to see how her less-than-stable marefriend was doing. “An’ now I find out she’s a swinger?”

“A ‘swinger’ is someone who sleeps with multiple partners at the same time. A ‘bisexual’ is someone who’s attracted to more than one gender. Sometimes they overlap, but that doesn’t mean they’re synonyms.”

“Wh...”

“What’s the problem here, Applejack?” she said quietly. “Coming out can be incredibly difficult. I didn’t peg Flim as the shy type, but maybe he was waiting for the right time to tell you.”

“It ain’t like that!” Her ears kept folding and unfolding, shuffling her mane around the sides of her face. “I put my trust in him, an’ he shoulda done the same! There were so many times he coulda told me, but he went well outta his way t’keep it to himself!” Her heart was pounding her hot blood all around her body, but the more flustered she got, the more stoic her friend seemed to get. What am I sayin’ wrong? Why ain’t she cluein’ in? “Look, he led me to believe he was a normal stallion, and then I find this out? Twilight, I feel like I been sleepin’ with a changeling!”

“Maybe he did, too.”

She gasped, and her hackles blustered up.

“Applejack...” She slid herself off her chair and began a very slow pace around the room, her eyes on the floor. “Was that what your fight was about? Your anger over his sexuality?”

“Uh, well, mostly, but---“ She wished she’d kept at least one of the pictures; not only would it have given her something to fidget with, but it would have helped to illustrate her point to boot. “---But I can’t be with somepony like that! I jes’ can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Well, would you date a bisexual?”

In her peripheral vision she could see Spike rapidly drawing a claw across his throat, but she ignored it. Whatever he had to say could wait.

“Can you even begin to imagine how painful it was for him to hear you say those things?”

“TWILIGHT!”

With a grunt and a heave, she forced herself out of the chair and back on her hooves, trying not to wince when the baby slid back and forth with a slosh. “I got a foal on the way! Tell me, how could I settle down with somepony who can’t make his mind up, huh? HOW?”

“Who’s to say he can’t?” Twilight said, facing the fireplace. The flickering lights were casting gloomy shadows over her cheeks. “Very few stallions would brave the wrath of Big MacIntosh. But Flim did. I might not know the whole story, but it sounds to me like he put himself at great risk... just to be with you.”

“Whose side are you on, anyway?!”

She turned her head sharply. “How about that tea, Spike?”

“Right.” After wiping the sweat from his forehead, he turned and scuttled out of the room as fast as he could. “Two pots, coming up!”

Her stomach sunk deep into her guts when the door slammed behind him---and it fell even lower when she peeked back at her friend.

Twilight’s expression was unreadable from the eyes down, but her eyebrows were knit. “Now that the coast is clear, we can get down to the nitty-gritty.”

“Of what?”

“Your sex life. Have you ever been with a pegasus?”

“I beg yer pardon?!”

“Have you ever been with a pegasus?”

“I, uh...” Very carefully, she picked her hat off the floor, but instead of putting it back on, she stared down into the inside of the crown. “Well, yeah. Once. Why?”

“Did you enjoy preening him? Did you giggle when he brushed his feathers across your belly?”

She tried not to smile when she got a little flicker of a memory. He’d been far from a good lover, but her first coltfriend had at least made creative use of his wings. “Yeah.”

“And you’ve enjoyed the strength and stamina of Earth pony lovers, I presume?”

“A’course.” As well as their tendency to be bigger in other departments.

“And you’ve obviously been with a unicorn. Did you play with his horn?”

At first, the only response she could muster was a little squeak, but she got her voice back after a few swallows. “Twilight, this is gettin’ kinda personal---“

“I only asked you what I needed to know.” She unfolded her wings to fan the fire. “You’re upset because Flim’s attracted to two kinds of ponies. But the way I see it, Applejack---you’re attracted to three.”

“WHAT?!”

“Think about it,” she said as she trotted back to her chair, primly stepping over the ice cream bowl. “Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you and Flim did get married. Would you be worried that he’d run off with a stallion?”

“Yeah, and with good reason!”

“He could just as easily worry about you running off with a pegasus or an Earth pony. After all, you are attracted to them, aren’t you?”

“But---but that’s different!” she said, her voice rising.

“How?”

“Look, Flim likes stallions. I ain’t got stallion bits. That means there’s no way I could ever be enough for him!”

“And unless he becomes an alicorn---which I find highly unlikely---there’s no way he could be enough for you, either. He can’t offer you the wingplay you’ve admitted to liking.”

“Nnngh!” Had she not been in someone else’s home, she probably would have thrown something across the room. She had to settle for clutching one of the cushions in a deathgrip. “Twi’, yer analysin’ this like it’s a game a’chess or somethin’! Even if I did settle down with Flim, I wouldn’t cheat on him, not now, not ever!”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t wanna be with anypony but him!!”

As soon as she realized what she’d shouted, her jaw snapped shut, and her whole body broke out in shivers.

Twilight’s stern look finally mollified, and she allowed a small smile. “Well. There you have it.”

Applejack lightly touched her lips, as if she couldn’t believe what had just come out of them.

“Let me tell you something.” She scootched her chair closer, keeping her eyes on Applejack’s face; it was still slack with shock, but she could tell she was listening. “I’ve told you I’m not great with romance, but I have had a few coltfriends. And... once, I had a marefriend, too.”

Very slowly, Applejack lifted her head, and it seemed to take forever to meet her eyes.

Twilight began playing with the tips of her mane, twirling the highlights around the darker strands. “It didn’t last very long. Puppy love, I suppose. But at the time, I was sure I’d be with her for the rest of my life.”

She sighed and began wistfully dangling a hoof over the pile of the carpet. “As I said earlier, it was awhile ago. I knew nothing of friendship, so how could I know a thing about romantic relationships? Not to mention I’d never felt that way about a filly before.” She idly tapped her forehooves together. “It ended in a fight, much like the one you and Flim had. She said she couldn’t be with me since I didn’t know what I wanted. And she wouldn’t listen to matter how many times I told her I wanted to be with her. At first I thought she was being catty; it took me a long time to realize she was...”

She trailed off. Just as Applejack was raising a hoof to place over Twilight’s, her eyes refocused and she twisted in her seat, staring straight at her.

“Scared,” she said. “She was scared and jealous. It was nothing we couldn’t have talked over, but I figured it out too late. By then we’d both moved on.” If her eyes seemed wet, it was only for a moment before she blinked it away. “But I still sometimes wonder what could have been.”

“Twilight,” Applejack replied haltingly, “Are you tellin’ me you swing both ways, too?”

“Mm, no. Not really. I don’t identify as bisexual.”

“But---your marefriend---!”

“I’d never felt that way about a mare before, and I haven’t since. But I wouldn’t rule out the possibility down the road.”

Applejack pressed her back against the chair and took a lip between her teeth. Jeez. All the time I’ve known her, and I’ve never heard about this before?! She stole a glance at her friend, then looked back at her hooves. I always thought she was jes’ shy---or inexperienced---but is this why she’s never really talked about her past with us? Was she afraid we’d... She gulped. That I’d judge her? Again, she looked up, and forced a smile when their eyes met. Well don’t jes’ sit there! Say something!

“Y’aint gonna hit on me, are ya?”

Something besides that, idiot.

She rolled her eyes. “No, Applejack. I’m not attracted to you.”

“Oh. Um. Well, that’s good.” She scratched her ear again. “I think.”

“I know you’re concerned that a mare could never be enough for somepony who likes stallions. But listen.” She rose from her chair and knelt beside Applejack’s, hooking an elbow over her knee. “Everypony’s different, of course, but as far as I know, ponies like Flim can fall in love regardless of gender, not because of it. Does that make sense?”

“I ‘spose...” Oh, crap. The painful lump was balling up in her throat again. “He said he thought he could have loved me.”

“There are a lot of qualifiers there, but it sounds like there’s a sliver of hope, too.” Offering the tissues, she added “Do you feel calmer now than when you two were fighting?”

“Oh yeah. I was roarin’ mad. And he...” She had to pause there, thinking over what had happened. Was it really just an hour or so ago? It still seemed jumbled, but things were smoothing out now that she wasn’t frothing at the bit. The world-weary look in his eyes came back to her, as did the odd expression on Connie’s battered face---and it suddenly dawned on her that she had no idea why he’d let loose on his sister like that. Yes, Connie’s personality made her inherently punchable, but Flim had always used his wits before violence. What in Celestia’s name happened?

She was blushing heatedly, but her belly began to feel cold. She’d sensed he was already upset when she’d confronted him, but hadn’t stopped to consider what he could have been going through. Shame on you, AJ! she scolded herself. You shoulda known better’n to pick a fight with a pony who’s obviously hurtin’! All that had mattered at the time was her own sense of righteous indignation.... but was she really in the right? She briefly looked at Twilight, but couldn’t quite meet her gaze. Would I have been as angry about those photos if Trixie hadn’t used ‘em to humiliate me? The sadness that was still in her heart was starting to mix with worry, making her feel clammy all over. Maybe Twilight’s right. Maybe he was worried about comin’ out t’me. If I hadn’t said all that---If I’d jes’ let him tell me when he was good an’ ready, maybe... maybe...

But her train of thought spluttered to a stop on the tracks. “I-I’m still not comfortable with it,” she mumbled. “I mean, I jes’ always believed that it’s one way or the other.”

“And I always believed that studying was more important than friendship, but I’m humble enough to admit that I was wrong.”

Touche.

“Twilight.” Even though it was making her stomach flutter, she forced herself to look her friend dead in her eyes and say “When I was goin’ on about, uh, all that earlier... did I hurt yer feelins, sugarcube?”

“Yes, a little,” she admitted. “But we’re both grown ponies, and we talked it out.”

Amazing---she didn’t know that uncertainty and resolve could pair so well together, but there they were, both tugging at her at the same time.

“I’m not saying you’re going to get over your, um, let’s call them hang-ups overnight, but maybe now that you’ve had some ice cream therapy, you can have a little heart-to-heart with Flim?”

Had she been a bit less encumbered, she would have sprung out of the chair. “I gotta get to the hospital!” she grunted as she shifted her weight around, scrabbling her hooves as she tried to get purchase on the floor.

“Is he still there?”

“I hope so! Aw, jeez. We left on such bad terms.” She plunked her hat on her head, noticed it was backwards, and tugged her bangs to the side as she righted it. “Twi’, ya gotta teleport me there!”

“Oh no!” She leaned back and held up her forehooves, eyes wide. “No way!”

“Why not?!”

“I’ve never teleported a pregnant mare before, and I’m not about to start now!” She looked down at Applejack’s belly and grimaced. “One of the first things unicorns learn in Advanced Magic is the case of ‘the Caesarean stallion’. A husband tried to teleport his wife to the hospital because she was in labour. To this day no one is exactly sure how, but during the transit the fetus ended up switching from her body to his. Certainly not a pleasant---“

“Time’s a-tickin’, Twilight!”

“Oh! Right. Sorry.” She flared her wings and crouched her body closer to the ground. “I’m not going to risk teleporting you, but I can fly you there.”

She hesitantly lifted a hoof and placed it on her back. “Uh... are y’sure? I’m carryin’ a pretty heavy load.”

“I don’t mind. It’ll still be faster than you can run in your current condition.” She cracked a small smile. “But please give me a heads-up if you start to get airsick.”

With less reluctance than expected, Applejack climbed up on Twilight’s back, pretending she didn’t hear the little “Oof” she’d tried to muffle. “Uh, okay. Here goes nothing.”

She was still sitting up when Twilight bolted from the reading room, but she wrapped her arms around her neck and closed her eyes when she saw a window being magicked open. She kept them closed as she felt the rush of air around her face, and kept repeating to herself Just don’t look down. Don’t look down.

“Okay, so it turns out we’re out of chamomile,” Spike said as he pushed the door open with his tail, holding a full tea set on a platter. “But I did some digging, and way at the back of the cupboard was a whole box of...”

He stopped and looked around the empty room. “...Hello?”

As soon as she stepped in the room she realized something was off; the bed had been re-made with fresh sheets, and the only occupant was an irritated-looking mare in rubber gloves scrubbing the last of the blood off the floor, as if trying to permanently erase every trace of Flim.

Applejack cleared her throat. “Uh, ‘scuse me, miss?” she said in a strained voice. “Have you seen somepony by the name of---“

“Flim Skim?” the nurse replied without looking up from the floor. “I sure did. He went and signed himself out against medical advice. And left quite a mess, might I add.”

Oh gods, no. “Uh, didja maybe hear where he was headed, by any chance?”

“Nope. That’s not my job.” She huffed and dumped the sponge back into the bucket. “But apparently it is my job to clean up after him since the janitorial staff refuse to touch ‘biohazardous waste’. Such babies. I didn’t go to college just to be a maid, you know! I---”

She finally looked up, and ended her rant once she saw Applejack’s face all matted with dried tears, a few new ones about to join them.

“Honey, look. I’m sorry. This isn’t the psych ward, so we can’t keep ponies here against their will. Even if it is in their best interests.” She got up off her knees and picked up the bucket, offering her the smile of a professional with a practiced bedside manner. “He left something for you, though. It’s on the bedside table.”

Applejack looked at where she was pointing; there was a burlap sack sitting where the sonogram used to be. At least he took her picture with him, she thought morosely as she slowly, gingerly walked towards the table. Behind her, Twilight nodded as the nurse bowed her way out of the room, and then trotted up to Applejack’s side. “What’s that?”

She hesitated before opening it, as if worried that all the evil of Tartarus would come rushing out. “I dunno, but it’s got a note underneath it.”

Using her teeth, she tugged it out from under the sack, and angled the paper so they both could read it.

Flim –

Here’s 2,000 bits. It’s all I could afford to leave you. Celestia knows raising a foal is expensive, and you and Applejack

are going to need the help.

~C.

P.S.: Don’t be proud.

Under that was a rough penciled scribble in a script she recognized as Flim’s:

I don’t need your charity and NEITHER DOES SHE!

“Wait a minute,” Twilight said. “This wasn’t from him---it was for him!” She loosened the tassle, and gasped when the bag slid open to reveal the gold inside. “I don’t believe it! The FlimFlam brothers just left this behind?!”

“Two grand,” she said under her breath. “She left two grand?”

“And that’s another thing! Who is ‘C’?”

She dumped the coins onto the table and, almost on auto-pilot, began sorting them into stacks of ten. “Stands fer ‘Contrarian’. She’s their big sis. Got...” She had to cough to dislodge the swelling in her throat. “Got a lotta bad blood between ‘em. Maybe that’s why he left this behind.”

“To provide for his daughter-to-be?”

“Or because he’s bein’ too proud after all.” She moved the coins into stacks of fifty, then slid them side-by-side to make counting easier. Fifty, a hundred, hundred and fifty...“Who cares? Either way, we’ve got enough to fix all the damage he caused in the barn.”

“He damaged your barn? And they have an older sister? Applejack, how long have I been out of the loop?”

“Too long, Twilight. Too long.”

“This is ridiculous! I can’t believe he just left! That’s so incredibly inconsiderate---and foolhardy, too, just waltzing out against doctor’s orders.” The anger on her face changed to a determined grin. “Well, so what? The five of us went all over Equestria looking for you, Applejack, so it shouldn’t be hard to find Flim! He couldn’t have gotten far. We’ll fan out and---“

She slammed her hoof on the table, rattling the bits. “And what, Twilight? What’re you gonna do?! Hold a shotgun to his head? ‘Cause that sure didn’t work out too well the last time!”

“I just---“

“You wanted to help. I know,” she said as her shoulders sagged. “I know. But if you try to drag him back here, Flam’s gonna tell the police what Big MacIntosh did. I can’t have him goin’ to jail over somethin’ as stupid as this!”

“I wouldn’t use force. I’d try reasoning with him!”

“You’d be wasting yer breath.”

“But not if all five of us went! You shouldn’t be travelling too far from home, but you could write him a letter. We’d all deliver it, and explain why you need to smooth things over. And we could distract Flam to make sure he doesn’t snitch on your brother.” She’d begun to pace as she worked out what she probably thought was a brilliant plan. “That’s it! I’ll get the girls and we’ll catch the next train---“

“No, Twilight. Stop. It ain’t gonna work.” She went back to lining the bits up, even though her eyes were stinging. “I wanted to talk it over, but... I guess he didn’t.”

Twilight opened her mouth, but before she could cut in again, Applejack vehemently shook her head, pointing to the bits she was still organizing. “C’mon, Twi’! Dontcha think this is a sign? He was in such a hurry to get away from the mare who hurt him he left a small fortune behind!”

She shrugged, but her earlier confidence was gone. “Maybe he knew you’d find it. It’s actually kind of sweet.”

“Oh come on! You said it yerself: some stallions jes’ act sweet---“

“I said that before you told me he ‘could have loved you’,” she said in a quiet, tender voice.

“Yeah, ‘could have’. Not ‘does’. We...” A tear hit the table. “We said some awful things to each other, an’ I’m startin’ to think that they can’t be taken back.” She turned her wet eyes up to her friend. “Dontcha get it? I’m too late. I hurt him, an’ he hurt me, and, well... maybe this is Fate’s way of sayin’ it jes’ wasn’t meant to be.”

Clicking her hooftip over the neatly-piled coins, she added up the first thousand and began to count the rest.

“Besides, I told him that if he left me now, he should never come back, and---”

She burst out laughing.

“What?” Twilight held a tentative hoof out to her, but Applejack was shaking with laughter so hard she had to sit back on her haunches lest she fall on her side. “What’s funny?”

“There’s... there’s...” She propped herself against the side of the bed and pressed her frogs against her ribs, cackling like a crazed hyena. “That son of a bitch! Too proud to take his sister’s money, huh?” She swept the bits back into the bag and tossed it on the bed. “There’s at least five hundred bits missing!”

Twilight started to giggle, but the laughter was infectious, and soon they were both leaning over opposite sides of the bed, holding each other’s forelegs and howling. But their laughs slowed down to chuckles, and then to little murmurs, and before long Applejack was weeping again, Twilight stroking a hoof through her sweaty mane.

“He’s gone,” she whispered. “He’s really gone.”

“Oh, Applejack. I’m so sorry,” Twilight replied, and pressed a kiss against her forehead. But please, please don’t forget what I said about the crossroads.

Author's Notes:

*phew* So... think that's the last we'll see of Flim?