There, in a room as broken as the rest of the house, as broken as her heart and soul sat one little pony. Sheltered away from the cruel world. She was alone. Then again, it was what she had got to know these days. It happened several years ago now, but the feeling that her heart had been freshly ripped out of her chest - still beating - remained. She had changed a lot over the years, as many might expect from years of what she had done to herself. She sat on a bed that was far beyond its days of comfort. Her mane and tail had fallen flat, she was tremendously underweight, and she had become almost devoid of all color, almost as if Discord had corrupted her again. But this wasn't Discord's magic at play, Discord couldn't have ever been as cruel. This was loves curse. That's right. Love did this to her. The once happy Pinkie Pie had become devoid of nearly all of her emotion, color, and life.

Beyond the small island of the wrecked bed sat a sea of empty bottles that had once been filled with the only thing that kept her going. Alcohol. Some of it pretty strong stuff. But soon she stopped feeling the effects, or rather, the illusion of happiness that it created. This place had used to be decent, but her drinking habit had drained her of the bits she needed for upkeep. She didn't care though. She could no longer afford to maintain her house, feed her alcohol habits, and she had to beg for bits just to eat.

She still had a few scraps of food in the kitchen, but she didn't feel hungry at the moment. Her days were mostly spent sitting and staring at four walls. This didn't even bother her, anything was better than going back to her old life to be around the one who, in Pinkie's eyes, caused this from the start. From time to time she would look at a few photographs she managed to salvage before she left. The matching gold and black frames that held the photographs and most of the photographs there selves were in good condition, however, it was clear one had been intentionally torn. None of them were time's victim, they were the only thing she took pride in. They were all neatly lined up on a battered old shelf. She had decided to take a look right now.

To the far left of the photographs, where she always started her trip through memory lane, a trip to remind her of happy times. Right at the left sat a picture of her surrogate family. Herself in the middle with Mr and Mrs Cake stood still either side. Pinkie was cradling two sleeping foals, Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. This would have been after she had baby sat. She always enjoyed that memory. She often wondered if Mr and Mrs Cake found out about how badly it actually went. She missed all four of them even more than she missed her real family if she had to be honest.

Next in line was a photograph of herself with her pranking double, Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie looked a bit silly in that picture. It was the day before Gilda came and acted awfully to everypony, especially Fluttershy. She was stood next to Rainbow Dash dressed as a present with flippers on her hooves, as well as a fake arrow through the head and a silly mustache Rainbow Dash was in absolute hysterics. She loved that picture. She held it very dear to her. She doubted she could make anypony laugh now. She would only horrify them.

Proceeding that, there stood a picture of her stood next to Twilight, or More specifically, Princess Twilight Sparkle. It reinforced the point. This photo was taken during her coronation. She stood to the left side of her purple unicorn friend, who stood smiling with her wings flared and her crown upon her head. Somehow, this gave Pinkie Pie some hope. Twilight started her life in Ponyville barely wanting anything to do with anypony, and now had become a highly celebrated individual. Perhaps Pinkie Pie could turn from this depressed pony she was back to her old bouncing ways. Spike was also perched atop Twilight's back. Pinkie Pie loved Spike. Always thought he was adorable and polite but could also be very witty for a dragon.

Then, there was a photo of Pinkie Pie with her well spoken fasionista friend, Pinkie Pie always had to admit she was pretty hot. She never fell for Rarity, it was more of a 'she's attractive but not really my type' feeling. And this picture demonstrated that perfectly. Pinkie was pulling some silly face at the camera, and Rarity's face looked like one of those 'what in the hoof is she doing' expressions she often wore when Pinkie Pie did anything silly. Pinkie was a bit silly for Rarity, and Rarity a bit too serious and down to earth for Pinkie, but that never affected there friendship at all.

Next in line was a photo with her timid friend. Everypony always thought that a Discord corrupted Pinkie Pie would be more like Fluttershy, and vice versa. They were polar opposites. Fluttershy was quiet, nervous, and timid pony whilst Pinkie Pie was pretty loud and bubbly. Once again, this never bothered either of them, they just simply got on and appreciated eachother for eachother. The photograph was taken during the week or so when Fluttershy was famous around Ponyville for making a full grown dragon cry as if it was a two day old foal.

Finally, there was the torn photograph. It was all her friends as a group. Apart from one, and that was if Pinkie still classed her as a friend. She had torn Applejack out of the photo, and brought no memories of the other earth pony in there group with her. That was what she wanted to avoid. She didn't know whether she hated her, or just wanted to loose the feeling of love for her. There's a thin line between love and hate after all. And Pinkie wasn't sure what side of that line Applejack stood. That still didn't stop the memories.

***

Pinkie Pie walked into The Golden Oaks Library. She was always stunned by it. How does a tree survive with all its innards carved out? Surely it may survive a bit, but it should technically be compost by now. This however, was no time to marvel at the grand tree library. She needed to see it's resident, her friend, Twilight Sparkle. Maybe she would know what she was ill with. She didn't feel ill at the moment, she just had some weird reactions to seeing Applejack was all. Maybe she was growing an allergy to her.

The pink pony tapped on the door and awaited her response. When no response came, she tapped again a bit louder. Several seconds later, she was greeted by just the pony she wanted to see.

"Ahh hello Pinkie Pie. Do come in," Twilight said before moving away from the door. Pinkie Pie followed her inside, closing the door behind her. "What brings you here?"

"Oh I don't really know Twilight. I know this may sound super duper weird, but is it possible to be allergic to somepony, because I totally think I am, and i know your smart, so I come to ask you because I know - just know - you can help me."

"No, it's not Pinkie. This isn't one of your silly jokes is it?"

"No Twilight. It's like every time I see them, my heart beats really really fast like it wants to jump out my chest and i find it harder to breathe and everything. Nothing swells up though I don't think, so I was thinking maybe a minor allergy, but it would still be bad."

Twilight looked stunned, but like she had the answer at the same time. It was like she was surprised with the answer she had come up with. "Pinkie Pie, your not allergic to that pony, you're in love with them. May I ask how long it's been, and who it is?"

Pinkie Pie appeared deep in though love? Surely not, it's definitely an allergy, or is it? Twilight coughed, snapping Pinkie out of thought. "It was when I had to do work on the farm because our cutie marks changed us, or did we change our cutie marks? Either way, it's Applejack, and it's been since I had to get work on the farm."

"Yes Pinkie, you are in love with her. It most likely started because you were forced in her shoes and to do her work, which made you appreciate her strength and character. To be honest, I don't think you've made a bad choice. She is pretty attractive, hard working, and honest. I'd advise talking to her about it Pinkie."

"I think I will. Thankyou Twilight."

"Glad I could help." Twilight smiled. She found it smile inducing when Pinkie Pie was around, and now the clown of the six had fallen for the hard worker. Perhaps Rarity would turn up tomorrow saying she had fallen for Rainbow Dash. Not very likely actually. This one didn't seem all that likely to Twilight, but then again, they were both earth ponies. It could make a bit of sense.

***

Yeah, honest. She may have been during the trip to defeat Nightmare Moon, but in Pinkie Pie's eyes, she now represented honesty as much as Pinkie Pie now represented laughter. That's probably what hurt Pinkie Pie the most. Applejack rejected her, solid reason for rejecting her, Pinkie did understand, until she found out it was a lie.

She wanted the memories gone, however, when she thought of that conversation, the rest of the following events played in her memory.

***

Pinkie Pie bounced merrily away from the Library that her friend lived in. She decided to make one more stop off before talking to her fellow earth pony, Applejack. Sure Twilight was smart, but having never had time for it, maybe she didn't understand love. She had to talk to somepony who did. Preferably a mare.

She had decided there was no better option than Mrs Cake. Being a mare, and married to Mr Cake, she must have a thorough idea on love and tell her if that's what she felt for Applejack. Besides, it might do well to ask if Mrs Cake was alright with the object of her possible affection being another mare. If she knew Mrs Cake - and being her surrogate mother, she believed she did - she knew the older mare would support her, whatever may come.

She entered her home in Sugarcube Corner to find the mare she wanted to talk to handling business alone. Mr Cake was upstairs, keeping a watchful eye on the foals as they played. Pinkie Pie wasted no time bursting into her usual cheerful fit of words. "Mrs Cake, I need to ask you something. You see, I went to see my friend, Twilight - who's really super duper smart - earlier because I thought I might be allergic to some pony, but she told me I loved her. I don't doubt her, it's just I needed to ask somepony who knows what it's like to love somepony else, because it would be terrible if I told them I loved them, then decided I didn't, so I thought you would be the best to talk to about this."

"Pinkie, you can't be allergic to somepony. I'm honored you would choose to speak to me on matters of the heart. You know you are in love when you feel as if you genuinely know that pony. Your heart beats faster around them, and you often find it difficult to breathe. Tell me Pinkie, do you think this is true for the pony you feel like you might love?"

"Yes, I know what that pony goes through every day. When that thing happened and we all swapped cutie marks, it taught me that that pony doesn't have it easy at all. I feel like that around them, and that's why I thought I might be allergic to them, but now you and Twilight have told me I was wrong and I love them."

"Yes, I believe that Princess Twilight is wise beyond her years, but it never hurts to make sure with these kinds of things. Who is the lucky stallion then?"

Pinkie Pie now became worried. Her surrogate mother assumed it was a stallion. What if she reacted badly to it being a mare. Only one way to find out. "I'm sorry. It's a mare." her ears dropped and she looked down with a disheartened look. She was relieved when she looked up to see Mrs Cake still smiling.

"Oh I never thought you were into mares. You needn't think I'm upset by that, it's perfectly normal and Mr Cake and i will always accept you for you. Who's the lucky mare then?"

"Applejack."

***

She now often wished she didn't like mares. This wouldn't have happened otherwise. This was where the more painful of the events started happening.

***

Confident that it was love she felt for Applejack, Pinkie Pie had decided it was time to stop wasting time and tell Applejack how she felt. She contemplated how she would tell her all the way to Applejack's home on Sweet Apple Acres. She felt like it had been moved next door to Sugarcube Corner, the journey went so quick for the distance. Now was her time. She had to so this.

She saw the pony she needed to talk to hard at work. Maybe she could have used this as an excuse to put it off till later on and give more thought to what she would say. She was tempted by this idea, but she couldn't because she knew Applejack always made time for her friends. Also, she saw faint images of Twilight pointing at Applejack as if to say 'just tell her now, what's the worst that can happen?'

Indeed, it couldn't be that bad. Applejack noticed her Pink friend and approached her

"Hey there Sugarcube, what can ah do fer ya?"

"Applejack! There's something I really really need to tell you. I spoke to Twilight to make sure it was true, because I was worried, I thought I was allergic to you, but then Twilight said what it was and Mrs Cake said the same. So I've come to tell you what it really is, because I've been told I really should."

Applejack looked very confused, "allergic to me, is that even possible?"

"No, I asked Twilight and she told me what it really was."

"Care ta tell me what it really was?"

"I love you, Applejack"

***

This was her biggest mistake ever. She now knew that she shouldn't have said anything and just waited and hoped it blew over. Yet she spoke to somepony who would have insisted she told her. This is where the story broke for her. Biggest lie ever told, and it was by the element of honesty.

***

Applejack covered her face with her hat. She needed a cover and quick. She needed to hide something from her friend. She knew even a lie would break her heart, so the truth would kill her. Surely its not a bad thing to lie if it protects somepony right?

"Ah'm sorry Pinkie, Ah'd love to say Ah feel the same, but Ah'm just not inta mares, Ah had an old fashioned upbriningin' an' all. Ah believe Ah should be with a stallion, and Ah'm inta stallions. Ah'm so sorry ta have ta hurt ya."

Pinkie Pie wasn't in the least hurt yet. "Oh Applejack, don't be all saddie waddie about it. It's not your fault, we can still be friends.I understand."

"Thank ya kindly Pinkie Pie. Ah'm so glad ta hear ya understand." She hoped to Celestia herself that her lie wouldn't be uncovered. She was into mares, just not Pinkie Pie. She had another mare on her mind, and she had told this other mare yesterday. How she hoped this other mare would never mention it.

***

Well she did find out. Pinkie Pie might have even understood if Applejack had told her the truth, that she did like mares, but she just didn't see Pinkie Pie like that. She wasn't mad at the object of Applejack's affection, or previous affection. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't Applejack's fault that she like this other mare either. She did, however, make the decision to lie. That was her fault, even if she thought it to be the right reason.

***

Pinkie Pie found herself back at the library. Somehow, she was as happy as ever, maybe even more so. She had just got a weight off her mind, and she had returned to inform Twilight of how it went.

"So, how did it go? Are the two of you together?" asked Twilight, as she flipped the Page of the book she was reading. Probably some mumbo jumbo that no pony else would be able to understand.

"Well I told her, and she told me she wasn't into mares. I understand, it's not her fault, but she was all saddie waddie about it, maybe I should throw her an 'i'll still be your best friend' party to remind her that I'm still her friend, and we will all be there and it will make her happy and not feel bad, because I don't feel bad about it at all."

Twilight let out a little chuckle. "Well nothing says happiness like one of Pinkie Pie's parties." At that point, Rainbow Dash made her customary entrance through the window. Does that pony not know how to use a door?

"Twilight, I really need to talk to you about something. Oh hey Pinkie Pie."

"Heya Dashie," replied Pinkie Pie.

"What's on your mind Rainbow Dash?"

"Some pony told me they like me yesterday, but I like somepony else. I just don't want to hurt them you know?"

With that, Applejack strutted in "Twi, Ah need a minute of ya time."

Seeing Pinkie Pie around Rainbow Dash made Applejack feel awkward, and Rainbow Dash felt awkward seeing Applejack and Pinkie Pie in the same room, and Pinkie Pie felt awkward because everypony else looked uncomfortable, and there was a lack of cupcakes. Twilight looked like the image of comfort. This was obviously some weird falling out that a small amount of lecturing could solve. Little did she know she was about to uncover a vicious love triangle. She spoke in a comforting tone. "Right what's going on here? Am I going to have to take accounts off you one at a time?"

"Well Ah really think that might help at the moment Twi"

"Yeah"

Pinkie Pie didn't reply, She was to busy muttering about some party, balloons, cake, party cannons, and other typical Pinkie Pie things.

"Well first, I'd like to talk to Pinkie Pie. She was here first. You two wait outside the library," said Twilight, in an authoritative tone. With that, the other two left the room. They decided to respect the privacy of there Pink friend, and stood a distance so that they couldn't hear.

Twilight spoke with a downbeat tone, "Pinkie, I don't know how to tell you this. Judging Applejack's reaction, I think she may have lied to you."

"Oh don't be a silly filly Twilight, Applejack would never lie to me or to anypony for that matter. She said to me she likes stallions, so I believe her that she likes stallions."

"You might, Pinkie, but I don't. I think she likes another mare. Judging by her reaction to seeing you and Rainbow Dash together, I think she likes Rainbow Dash. I'm so sorry to have to be the one who told you Pinkie."

"Well I don't know, maybe they have had a fall out. Maybe it's like that one time at the running of the leaves, where they really fell out and then Princess Celestia appeared, and they ran off again. Maybe I'll have to throw a party to get them back friends again."

"I hope your right Pinkie Pie, for your sake. You come drop by tomorrow and I promise I'll tell you the truth, and i won't mention to anypony about what you told Applejack."

"Okie dokie lokie." She bounced off as Twilight went to the door to call Rainbow Dash in. She watched as Pinkie Pie disappeared into the freshly fallen night as she closed the door when Rainbow Dash entered. Twilight wasted no time.

"What's going on between you and Applejack then Rainbow?"

"It's just a bit awkward Twilight. I told her the truth, that I like another mare, but I don't know how she took it."

"I presume your talking about Applejack?"

"Yeah, she told me she had fallen for me yesterday, and i told her honestly that I had my eyes on another mare, and it's just really awkward."

"Who is this other mare Dash?"

"I'd rather not say." She noticed Twilight glaring at her. "Oh come on Twilight, don't make me tell you, or you will make me tell her, and I'm not ready to just yet." The glare persisted. Rainbow drooped her head to the ground defeated "I like Pinkie Pie ok?" The glare let off.

"Well Rainbow, I can't force you to tell her just yet, but the sooner you tell her, the better. Whenever your ready Rainbow. Now, you may return home, I have finished what I need to say. I should talk to Applejack now, don't worry, as with what Pinkie said, no pony shall be informed."

"Thankyou Twilight" she left, of course, through the window. There's a perfectly good door you know Rainbow Dash? She opened the door to summon Applejack in.

"What's going on with you then? you wanted to see me."

"Twi, Ah feel awful, yesterday Pinkie told me she loved me, and Ah had ta lie, Ah said h didn't like mares. But ah do, just not Pinkie, Ah like Dash, an' sein' um in the same place together made me feel darn right awful. Ah was scared in case Dash told Pinkie about it, but Ah really wanna tell Pinkie the truth. Ah tried to hide the truth to make her feel better about me rejecting her an' all, But Ah just don't see her as more than a friend. Rainbow told me she likes another mare yesterday when Ah told her Ahliked her, an' that's what Ah should have told Pinkie. The truth."

Twilight looked at Applejack with an expression Applejack couldn't read. "Applejack, you should know that hiding ponies from the truth only makes it worse when it comes out."

"Ah know Twi, and that's why Ah want her to know, Ah ain't a coward or somethin' but Ah don't think Ah can face her mahself."

"I can tell her if you like Applejack?"

"Ah would most appreciate that Twi, thankyou."

"You may go, Applejack. Rest assured I won't tell anypony about anything else you said, just what you want me to say to Pinkie." She was relieved Applejack said yes, because she promised Pinkie she would.

Applejack departed the library and Twilight sat back down to continue with the book she was reading a few hours ago. Spike came down the stairs, seemingly disturbed from a nap. "what was all that about Twilight?"

She could only speak one word. "Love."

***

Pinkie remembered that night, talking to Twilight, the last night of her happiness. She often wondered what would have happened if she believed Twilight in the first place. It might have made it all better. Not by much though. She wasn't there when Twilight was speaking to Applejack, or Rainbow Dash for that matter. The worst moment of her life came flooding in.

***

Pinkie Pie had found herself visiting her friend at the library a lot lately. It was like 'spend all the time you can with the new alicorn.' However, this time, it seemed more serious. She entered for the third time in two days.

Twilight spoke, she seemed almost lost for words, as though very few existed in her mind anymore. But she finally said it. "I'm sorry Pinkie, I spoke to them both, I promised you the truth and it's true, Applejack loves Rainbow Dash. But..."

She heard no more. It was if she went blind and deaf. It felt as if she was confined in the tiniest of boxes. Even the grand space inside of the library felt claustrophobic. She felt sick. Her mane and tale deflated. She had to run. She just had to get away.

***

And that she did, and she stayed away to clear her thoughts. This was a few years ago now. And here she still is, depressed. Her trip through memory lane ended as it normally does. Curling up into a ball and weeping. If she could only clear her mind and go back to her friends.

Author's Notes:

[03/11/2013] Hey there potential readers, well if you're seeing this, I assume you have read it, in which case, Thankyou. DashiePie isn't my usual shipping, my best is AppleDash, but I gave this a go anyway. I can't credit the idea to anypony, because I genuinely thought of it myself. It's my first read attempt at a fic, so I hope you enjoy it

[10/02/2013] I had a corrected grammar, punctuation and capitalization version sent a while back via Bringer of the Ends. However, on looking through, I decided to tweak it slightly, to make it slightly more professional looking. This is version two. If you don't wish to re-read this, that is fine, I have only added a few words, and trimmed a tiny bit of fat here and there, it's not a whole lot of editing, just general correction and improvement without changing the plot. I hope I got all the corrections done, and it is now grammatically perfect, however with the tweaks, I may have missed parts. Feel free to point them out, and I will do a version three if needed. One I should explain is Ah/Ah'd'/Ah'm. Applejack's use of I, I'd and I'm, is well, exactly what I said. That is why the "a" at the start is always capitalized. I think this is right, but correct me if I'm wrong.

P.s to anyone thinking it's the second of October in England or something, we in England write our dates in [DD/MM/YYYY]. This is a worldwide website, and i know some countries use [MM/DD/YYYY], so I'm simply addressing I have the dates right.