Chapter 15: Family Misfortunes

Dave stared down at the slightly shorter woman, the slight greying of her short brown hair and shocked green eyes were the only things Dave needed to see to recognise his mother. Her pale hand reached up and stroked the side of Dave’s face; the only noise was a relieved sigh as the woman rushed forwards and wrapped her arms around Dave’s neck.

“You’re home!” The woman cheered happily as she squeezed Dave as tightly as she could. “They said you would never come back! That there was no trace of where you went!”

“Mum,” Dave sighed as he returned the hug, a sadness covering his face. “Sorry I took so long.”

Celestia and Luna watched as Dave’s mum reluctantly pulled away from the hug and smiled at her son. “You’ve gotten taller… and still wearing that ridiculous hair.”

“I like my hair this way,” Dave complained out of reflex. “You are as bad as dad.”

Celestia and Luna looked up at the stairs to see Flux and Strong Shield exchanging worried glances. Dave’s mum narrowed her eyes as Dave covered his mouth with his hand. “What did you say?”

“Ok, I know I have been gone a long time but I have a very good explanation,” Dave held up his hands as his human mother glared at him. “Can you sit down in the kitchen while I just get a few things ready?”

Dave’s mum reluctantly entered the kitchen and Dave closed the door before giving a massive sigh of relief. “Phew I can’t believe I survived that.”

All the ponies left their hiding spots to huddle around Dave. Flux gently rested a hoof on Dave’s back. “It’s alright; you can keep your hair like that if you want.”

“Can you not try to score points?” Dave mumbled in annoyance as he turned to face his family. “Alright, I’m gonna try and explain but first I might as well introduce all of you individually.”

“Are you sure she won’t freak out or faint?” Luna asked for fear of spooking Dave’s mother.

Dave shook his head, “Unfortunately no, my mum is not the type to get scared.”

“Well we will wait here, call us when you need us,” Celestia leaned forward and planted a kiss on Dave’s cheek. “Don’t tell her anything unnecessary.”

Dave already knew that Celestia was telling him not to mention the fact he has died several times, the fact he was in a hellish prison for a year and that he is immortal. The human sighed as he opened the door and walked into the kitchen.

Dave’s mum was thankfully sat at the end of the kitchen, meaning she couldn’t see the other guests before Dave was ready. “Alright I will explain everything but first I do need to introduce a few… members of my family.”

“Family?” Dave’s mum’s head sunk into her hands. “Oh god you were kidnapped then forced into having a family with some random foreigners weren’t you?”

“No!” Dave protested. “Well… not exactly.”

“I hear on the news how criminals are getting more bizarre,” Dave’s mum looked up at Dave. “Alright I am ready for this.”

Dave looked at the ponies to his left and his human mother, trying to think of a way out of explaining. “Urgh this is going to be weird, alright this is my wife Princess Celestia.”

The ponies all looked at Celestia as she took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen, she looked straight at Dave’s mum and smiled as she stood beside Dave. She lifted her hoof to raise Dave’s hand and show of the golden wedding ring on his finger.

“Alright I am waiting for the punchline,” Dave’s mum glanced between her son and the tall white pony that had wings and a horn. “Oh I see I am starting to hallucinate after not seeing my son for so long.”

Dave didn’t know whether to yell at his mum for being rude or to applaud the fact she could come up with an excuse that quickly. But before Dave could think, Celestia was already growling.

“With all due respect I believe that your son is a fine man and I am proud to have him as my husband,” Celestia stared at Dave’s mum as the woman looked at the princess in disbelief.

“So…” Dave rubbed his hands together. “Honey, when you are done yelling at a woman that doesn’t believe that aliens exist I’ll continue.”

“Sorry,” Celestia apologised before looking at Dave’s mum with a smile. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Dave’s mum nodded, “Likewise… I guess.”

“Anyway I would like to explain that I was teleported to another world and that the inhabitants of this world are ponies, gryphons, dragons and stuff like that and they can all talk and do magic,” Dave hummed. “Anyway the proof of this is my wife Princess Celestia and the other members of my family.”

“Whoa, wait up!” Dave’s mum stood up and stared at Celestia. “If you are a princess then does that mean Dave hasn’t been pulling his weight and has been freeloading?”

Celestia shook her head, “N-no he has been more than helpful on more than one occasion.”

“Good!” Dave’s mum smiled before beckoning to Celestia to come over to her. The alicorn glanced at Dave before nervously walking over to the human woman. “My name is Hannah; feel free to anything in the house.”

Celestia smiled awkwardly as Hannah gave her a hug, the human was shorter than Dave so the two females were eye-level with each other. “Thank you very much Hannah, I have always wondered what you were like.”

“Well it is nice to know my boy settled down with a polite young girl… er… mare… thing,” Hannah smiled before turning serious. “But if you break my boy’s heart I’ll break off your horn and jam it somewhere the sun doesn’t shine.”

“My mum is very protective as you can see,” Dave rubbed his eyes before looking at Hannah. “And Celestia here literally controls a sun and is technically an immortal god.”

Hannah gasped, “You mean you are some tomboy for this cougar?”

Dave threw his arms in the air in defeat, “Mum! Seriously! You wonder why I never had a girlfriend before!”

“It was your own damned fault and you know it!” Hannah rolled her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. “You can’t pretend you have any other girls now you are married.”

“Actually!” Luna stepped out, causing Dave to groan and cover his face with his hands. “In Equestria there are rare cases of more than one mare sharing a single stallion and vice versa.”

Hannah pointed at Luna and gawped at Dave, “W-who is this one?”

“That’s Luna, Celestia’s younger sister,” Dave sighed as the situation proceeded to collapse around him. “She controls the moon.”

“And his fiancée!” Luna said proudly, attracting shocked stares from everyone.

“WHAT!?” Dave and Hannah both gasped. Dave managed to pull Luna to one side as he whispered in her ear. “Are you mad?”

“Well we are going to be engaged sooner or later right?” Luna asked with sad eyes.

Dave groaned at the impossible situation he was placed in, “Well yes but not right now!”

“Are you saying you don’t want to marry her?” Hannah yelled at Dave. “Why would you break a young girl’s heart like that?”

“I don’t!” Dave groaned as the chaos piled up around him. “Alright enough! Final introductions are these two.”

Hannah looked over to see a unicorn and Pegasus trot into her kitchen, both smaller than Celestia and Luna. “So who are these two?”

“Strong Shield, the unicorn is my adoptive father in Equestria,” Dave sighed. “And Flux is my adoptive mother.”

“MOTHER?!” Hannah slowly glared at Flux. “Well at least I know I am the better one.”

Dave shook his head as he chanted, “Don’t make this a competition, don’t make this a competition, don’t make this a competition.”

“Well technically for the time I have cared for Dave as a mother we have never argued and within five minutes of him coming home you are yelling,” Flux proudly smirked as she looked at Dave. “Isn’t that right son?”

“Y-you had to say that didn’t you?” Dave looked up at his fuming human mother. “Now everyone calm down and we can talk about all this!”

Hannah snorted and caused Flux to glare, “Yeah I’m not worried over some little pony that probably can’t even cook Dave his favourite meal.”

“Oh shots fired,” Odio gasped as he appeared beside Dave’s head.

“AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!” Hannah pointed at Odio’s fog.

“Oh I’m the guy who kidnapped your son, made him immortal and made him explode once,” Odio nodded before looking at the stunned group. “What? You guys need to tell me where to set up this return portal so I can go do better things.”

“Screw it, I’m done,” Dave sat on the kitchen counter as he sighed. “I bet Mike isn’t having these problems.”

Meanwhile…

Mike frowned as he read the newspaper he had bought from the shop opposite the café. The front page had a photo of Dave facing off against Sasha and Sarah on the balcony, Mike was visible in the background of the photo but luckily his face was not in focus.

“Having flying photographers must be a hassle,” Mike groaned as he flicked through the newspaper, spotting an article about a pony that had been released from jail and was now forging a surprisingly strong political case.

Chrysalis sat next to him, still hidden in her magical disguise of Princess Celestia. The Changeling Queen didn’t pay any attention to him until he placed the newspaper down. “Anything interesting?”

“No there isn’t,” Mike shivered as he zipped up his coat. “You told me you hated the cold, so why are we sat outside?”

Chrysalis looked around at the snowy street and finally gave a smile to Mike, “I like how everypony here looks at me with respect so I would like to be respected for my status while I am here.”

“You really chose this spot to satisfy your own ego?” Mike stared at Chrysalis with disbelief. “You are supposed to try and be believable.”

The pair glared at each other before Chrysalis turned her head away, “Fine, go sit where you want to! But don’t expect me to…” Chrysalis turned back to see Mike was gone, she looked around before seeing him sat inside the café, a fresh coffee on his table and a smiling waitress was chatting with him.

Chrysalis growled as she walked into the café and sat down angrily at the table opposite Mike, she glared at the waitress and caused the frightened mare to bow. “Can I get you anything Princess Celestia?”

“Get me a pot of tea,” Chrysalis commanded, taking full advantage of her disguise. “Make sure a different waiter brings it over as I find you annoying.”

Mike stared at Chrysalis in disbelief as the shocked waitress went over to the counter where one of her colleagues was working. Mike could see confusion on the barista’s face as the waitress trotted into the staff area crying.

“How could you do that?” Mike growled at Chrysalis, the disguised changeling raised an eyebrow at the human. “Did you not see what you did to her?”

“Hmmm? You mean the mare that was here?” Chrysalis shrugged. “She was being loud and obnoxious.”

Mike shook his head in disgust, “Wow I thought you had some dignity when I first met you but now I see you are a jealous snob.”

“Excuse me?” Chrysalis whispered angrily. “Don’t forget that I am the one disguised as the Princess of the Sun, not you!”

Mike and Chrysalis glared at each other before turning away from each other. Mike quietly drank his coffee as a pot of tea was brought over for Chrysalis. The barista hastily retreated the moment he placed down the pot.

“See? Now they know not to ask questions that might make us look suspicious,” Chrysalis smiled happily at Mike.

“You are unbelievable,” Mike muttered. “You said you were happy outside so why did you come inside to harass the staff?”

Chrysalis gasped, “I am trying to keep up appearances! What bodyguard sits away from the one he is meant to protect?”

The pair stared at each other before Mike stood up, “I am going to see if that poor mare is alright and I might see if I can undo the damage you have done.”

Chrysalis opened her mouth to respond but no argument came out as Mike went into the staff room. The annoyed queen drank her tea alone as she looked around at the café, noticing the scared and confused stares out of the corner of her eye.

“Pssh, I don’t deserve this treatment,” Chrysalis stood up and left the café in anger, her departure caused mumbling to spread throughout the café. The disguised changeling marched back towards the castle angrily as she attracted stares from ponies around her.

After a few minutes of walking she heard heavy steps coming towards her, she turned to see Mike running to catch up. “Why are you here?”

Mike stopped as he attempted to catch his breath, “Y-you left without me.”

“Because it is clear that you don’t like being in my company so how about we stay separate from each other until our duties have been completed?” Chrysalis frowned as she turned away and carried on marching towards the castle.

Mike jogged alongside the fake Celestia as they reached the castle gates and waited for them to open. “I promised Dave I would stick beside you, and I never go back on my word.”

Chrysalis sighed as they began to walk across the courtyard towards the castle steps, the heavy door behind them closing gently as the guards pushed it closed. “It is very clear that our difference in lifestyles will cause issues so how about I remain in the castle under guard supervision?”

“No that won’t do,” Mike shook his head as he followed Chrysalis. “Personally I am just trying to understand why you had to snap at that waitress.”

“Leave it alone Mike,” Chrysalis sighed as she began to climb the stairs.

“Do you have a fear of waitresses?” Mike suggested. “Or maybe the magical disguise is taking a larger drain than you thought.”

“I said leave it alone!” Chrysalis turned to snap at Mike but slipped on a small patch of ice. The Changeling Queen saw Mike rush forwards before everything went black.