Twilight sighs. She leans her head back into the pillow, letting her hips sink into the mattress under the weight of another pony. She looks down.

Well well well... at least that rump is as amazing as ever...

Cheerilee's back is facing Twilight. She's steadily humping away, that perfect ass spreading its curves as it smooshes into Twilight's hips. Twilight watches it, her pupils bobbing up and down, slightly hypnotized. Cheerilee arches her back, throwing her head back and forth. She's panting and moaning loudly, like she always does.

Twilight just lies there, holding her magic phallus in place, letting Cheerilee work herself on it. It's almost effortless by now, even with her creative additions. She's learned to stimulate herself with it while using it on Cheerilee – it's always in place anyway, so why not? She's teasing herself with thin tendrils of magic, even as a thicker finger massages Cheerilee's clit with each stroke.

Cheerilee slams her rump down into Twilight again and again, shuddering with each impact. Twilight traces a hoof down her spine, over the delicious curve where her rump begins, and twists it around her thick tail. She tugs on it.

"AAAHHH!" Cheerilee screams out, craning her neck back. Twilight almost reminds her yet again that Spike can hear them. Instead she just rolls her eyes a little. She yanks harder on Cheerilee's tail, pulling another gasping scream from her lungs.

Come on, come on... I know you're close...

Cheerilee keeps driving her rump down, over and over again. She seems to be stuck on a plateau, but Twilight knows by now exactly how to push her higher. She smirks a little and slides her other hoof up Cheerilee's flank, pressing hard on her smiling flowers, rubbing little circles into them.

"AAAAHHHHH oh GOD!" Cheerilee moans out, convulsing all over. Twilight can't help but grin.

We really should have just soundproofed my room somehow. How would we even do that?

She starts drawing blueprints in her head, outlining a set of experiments to see what material would best absorb the frequency of Cheerilee's screams. Her hoof absentmindedly keeps rubbing circles against Cheerilee's cutie mark. Her other hoof relaxes into a long, gentle tug on Cheerilee's bright pink tail, not giving any slack.

"AH! AH! AH! OH, OHHHHHhhhhhhh Twilight!" Cheerilee yells.

"Yes?" Twilight says in a normal conversational tone.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm aaaaaAAAHHH!" Cheerilee tries to hold it in, but wails all the same.

"You wanted to say something?" Twilight smirks. She yanks hard on Cheerilee's tail, interrupting her thrusting.

"I'm coming! I'm coming ohmygodI'mcoming!"

Of course you are... what is that, three times tonight? Four?

Twilight feels the familiar shivering in her horn, Cheerilee's inner walls shaking against her, clenching tightly. Cheerilee moans out one last, feral wail and collapses back, sliding her sweaty body against Twilight's. Twilight wraps her forelegs around Cheerilee's chest and clamps her teeth around one dark pink ear, just the way Cheerilee loves it.

"AH... Ah... Ah... ah... ahhhhhh..." Cheerilee pants out, getting more and more quiet. She writhes against Twilight, slowing down with each second. Twilight gently rocks her hips up into her, keeping a slow, steady rhythm, cushioning her fall from climax.

"Mmmmmm!" Cheerilee folds her arms over Twilight's. Twilight knows the exact look on her face without having to see it, that big, satisfied smile. She nibbles on Cheerilee's ear, rolling the rubbery flesh back and forth between her teeth.

Not bad, not bad at all... you still got it, Twilight Sparkle.

Cheerilee has calmed down and she's just lying on Twilight, squeezing her hooves. Twilight finally lets the light of her horn die down, trying to ignore the slight aching running down into her skull. She rolls Cheerilee to the side, resting her on the bed.

"Mmmm?" Cheerilee turns her head slowly, her eyes dazed, almost sleepy. Twilight kisses her on the cheek.

"Be right back." Twilight gets up, giving Cheerilee a gentle spank on the rump. Cheerilee whimpers and gives a weak nod, letting her head drop into the pillows. Twilight sneaks off to the bathroom.

She doesn't have to go to the bathroom. Instead she washes her face, rinsing off the sweat and hopefully the stench of recent sex. She blinks and rubs her hooves into her eyes, feeling refreshed. She opens her eyes, and is taken aback to see herself staring back at her. Unwelcome thoughts come pouring in.

Talk to her.

About what? Everything's fine.

This is getting bad. Didn't you learn anything?

About what? Nothing's wrong. We just had great sex, like we always do. How could anything be wrong?

This is wrong and you know it and you have to say something before

Twilight sniffs loudly, checking out her mane in the mirror. It isn't too mussed up. Nope, nothing wrong at all. Everything's fine.

She stalks back to her bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. Cheerilee is still awake – Twilight doesn't know how but she can just tell. The fuchsia mare is lying on her side, her back to Twilight, chest rising and falling slowly. Something about the rate of breathing, perhaps? It's still a mystery.

Instead of getting into bed, Twilight ambles around the room, looking for something to do. The place is a bit of a mess – Spike comes in here to clean less and less frequently – so she starts magicking around with piles of books and papers, shuffling them over to her desk. She's trying to organize them when a page of notes on a recent astronomical lecture given in Canterlot catches her eyes.

That shouldn't be there, with these notes... I thought it was tucked into this book over here...

But it's the wrong book. She searches around for the right one, finding another page of notes in a drastically incorrect place.

Got to put these here, and this one over there...

How did this get to be such a mess? The botany books are mixed up with the magical theory textbooks...

Jeez, this is bad even for me. I think this one might even be Cheerilee's. How did that...?

"My, this certainly is a big, empty, cold bed," Cheerilee says.

Twilight barely looks up.

"If only I had somepony to share this bed with me. Wouldn't that just be lovely?"

Twilight glances over to see Cheerilee wrapped up in her sheets, the ones with stars and moons all over them. Cheerilee is smiling at her. Twilight smiles back before going back to her organizing.

"Yup. It sure would be nice. Having some lovely, magical unicorn mare to hold me in her arms." Cheerilee rolls her eyes.

"Just one second," Twilight says, her eyes glued to her papers.

Long silence. Shuffling papers. Again, Twilight doesn't have to look to know the face Cheerilee is making.

"I'm sorry about the noise," Cheerilee says quietly.

Twilight drops her papers, sighing loudly. "It's fine," she says.

"You always say you like it."

"I do like it." Twilight turns to her, giving a naughty smile. It fades quickly. "But... you know. Spike."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." Cheerilee hedges on her words, shrinking into the sheets. "I really try, I swear. You're just too much for me to handle, I guess."

Twilight makes a big show of rolling her eyes. "This is why we save the really sexy stuff for your place. But noooo, no, you just needed me right here, right now."

"I'm sorry!" Cheerilee snaps at her. "Is that so wrong? I love you."

Twilight doesn't answer. She glances out the window, up at the sky. The sky is hidden behind a seamless blanket of moody gray clouds. Twilight pictures the stars and moon, a beautiful tapestry of lights. She yearns to see them again.

She was always so skinny. Sleek. Lithe. I wonder what it's like to...

No! No, no, no bad thought. It's good you can't see her. You should thank Dash for the cloud cover.

Oh, the ways I could thank Dash... speaking of sleek and sexy...

No, darn it!

"Are you coming back to bed?" Cheerilee says.

Again, Twilight doesn't answer. She shuffles papers on her desk loudly.

"You were thinking about her, weren't you?"

Twilight jumps in place. A flurry of papers floats to the floor.

Which one?

"Who?" Twilight says, sporting a huge, guilty grin. Cheerilee just sighs and frowns.

"Are you coming back to bed or not? I really am cold."

"I said just one second," Twilight says. She picks the papers up from the floor and pretends to organize them. Seconds tick by like hours, shuffling paper from one pile to another and back again.

"Twilight?"

"Mmm?" Eyes focused on her desk.

"Twilight!"

Twilight turns to her and Cheerilee is a quaking bag of nervousness. She's half sitting up, tapping a hoof against the bed. Their eyes meet. Cheerilee can't hold the contact. She keeps glancing away, like Twilight's eyes are hurting her.

"What?" Twilight says.

Cheerilee takes a long time to answer, building up her courage. Finally, she spits it out.

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I still love you. Don't be silly." Twilight says it instantly, turning back to her desk.

"Would you say it? For me?"

"Say what?"

"That you love me."

"I just did."

"No, no, come over here." Cheerilee pats the bed with her hooves. Twilight shrugs her shoulders and capitulates, walking over to the bed. She rests her forelegs on the mattress. Cheerilee fixes Twilight in her gaze, her eyes hard points.

"Say it," she orders.

"Say what?" Twilight feigns innocence.

"I love you, Cheerilee," Cheerilee recites.

"You know I do. I've said it a million times before."

"Look me in the eyes and say it!"

Twilight opens her mouth, but nothing comes right away. She turns her head, trying to dodge those eyes. "What is this, some kind of test?"

"Why can't you just say it?" Cheerilee's face falls, her eyes on the edge of tearing up.

"I don't have to. It's obvious. Self-evident."

"If it's so self-evident then just say it." Cheerilee glares at her.

"No." Twilight narrows her eyes. "This is some kind of... I don't know, this is foal stuff. We're both grown mares. We're mature. We don't need to be all emotional all the time."

"Don't patronize me." Cheerilee's glare hardens, then disappears. She just looks sad now. She begs. "Please. Just tell me. One more time."

"Come on." Twilight forces a hollow, empty laugh. "You know I do. I'm your sweetie, and you're my Cheerilee."

Twilight smiles at her, but Cheerilee slumps down further into sadness. She barely looks up.

"It's just not the same," Cheerilee whimpers. "I'm so scared."

Twilight groans loudly, against her will. "We've talked about this. What do you want? You want to spend more time together?"

"No! No, we spend plenty of time together," Cheerilee says.

"Do you want to move in with me?"

"No... I mean... no, it's fine..."

"Than what? Is it the sex?"

"No! I don't..." Cheerilee crushes her eyes closed, grimacing. She cinches the sheets up in her hooves. They're shaking, just slightly. Twilight waits out of habit. This is usually the part where Cheerilee apologizes for being emotional and things go back to normal.

"I just want you to love me." Cheerilee looks up at her, her eyes watery.

That's a new one...

Twilight wipes the shock off her face, putting up a solid front.

"Well, that's easy. We just talked about that. Relax," she says. Twilight takes her own advice and relaxes, forming an easy smile. She's pretty sure this is about to blow over. But Cheerilee says nothing. She stares down at her hooves, and the pause between them stretches out uncomfortably.

"We never cuddle anymore," Cheerilee mumbles. Before Twilight can say anything she speaks again.

"Ugh! How cliché can a mare be? I can't believe I just said that." Cheerilee scowls.

"Nopony's forcing you to say it," Twilight deadpans.

"You! You..." Cheerilee scoffs in disgust. "Why can't you... you're terrible sometimes, you know that?"

"What is your deal?" Twilight backs away from the bed. "You're always saying how wonderful I am and then you come out with something like that? Which is it?"

"Both," Cheerilee whimpers. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And now you're driving me insane."

"Well if I'm so terrible then why do you keep coming here?" Twilight snaps.

"Because I love – !" Cheerilee halts mid-sentence, almost yelling. Her eyes go wide, then her face falls, a twisted, shocked mask of agony, like she's kicked herself in the gut. She turns away and curls up on the bed, sobbing quietly.

Great. Great! You made her cry again. Just great.

Twilight facehoofs silently.

Why am I so stupid?

She climbs up on the bed and puts a hoof on Cheerilee's shoulder. Cheerilee recoils like it's a hot poker.

"Don't touch me! I'm mad at you," she yells.

"What?!"

"Leave me alone!"

Twilight's mouth hangs open. "You're in my bed!" she yells. Cheerilee just pulls the sheets tighter around herself, curling up in a fetal position.

"I swore... never again. I swore..." Cheerilee murmurs to herself.

"What are you talking about?" Twilight says, trying to sound concerned. Cheerilee doesn't answer.

"Talk to me!" Twilight says, anger leaking into her voice.

Again, Cheerilee says nothing.

"You're being ridiculous! This is ridiculous!" Twilight throws her hooves up. Cheerilee just lies there, containing her sobs.

This is the part where I cuddle her and we make up and it's all better. Why is she messing with the routine?

Suddenly the room feels very small and stuffy, there's nowhere to run, nowhere to breathe. Twilight's chest tightens up, she's standing on the edge of a cliff and it's miles down into blackness and nowhere else to go.

"I'm going out. For a walk. For fresh air or something. I'll be right back," Twilight says. She stomps her way out of the room, not waiting for an answer.

Spike is downstairs, poking his head out through his bedroom door. He looks terrified. Twilight stomps past him, not even looking.

"Uh... Twilight?"

Twilight turns to him, scowling. "What?"

"You guys were yelling. Like, bad yelling."

Twilight just snorts at him, her nostrils flaring.

"Uh..." Spike shakes in fear, stammering. "I... uh... are you and Cheerilee getting a divorce?"

Twilight rolls her eyes viciously, growling out a sigh. "For the last time, Spike, we're not married!"

"Oh... yeah..." Spike puts a claw to his chin.

She turns to the door, resuming her stomping away. "I'll be right back."

Twilight slams the front door closed without really meaning to. She walks, not really sure where her hooves are taking her. The streets are practically empty. The gray skies promise rain at the very least, and most ponies are hiding indoors. Twilight glares up at the clouds, daring them to make the first move.

A garbled mess of emotions rages in her throat, threatening to spill out in any number of ways. Twilight studiously ignores them. She clears her head, meditating on the action of moving her hooves. It's a fine distraction for a while, but thoughts start to creep in.

What is wrong with you? What are you doing?

She snorts mockingly. Any number of directions to take those questions, really. Let's start small and work our way out, shall we?

I am angry, and I am walking outside.

I am trying to not lose my temper, and I am avoiding my girlfriend.

I think I might not love her any more and I am trying to figure it out and I can't I just can't how do I know what is this supposed to feel like

Stop it! Just stop it.

Deep breath. No thoughts.

You're hurting her.

No thoughts.

Nothing I haven't heard before. Just walk.

Twilight looks up, and is surprised to find herself in Ponyville's town square. It's empty and quiet. Her breath catches in her throat as her eyes fall on the café across from town hall, on...

Rough cushions, thin but comfortable enough. They sit together, happy in the shade of the umbrella over their table. It's a bright, beautiful spring day.

"So good to see you again. It's been a while," Twilight says.

Cheerilee laughs. "It's only been a few days," she says.

"It felt like a while." Twilight slides her hoof over Cheerilee's.

"Oh, stop it. We're out in public." Cheerilee blushes. "What if one of my students walks by?"

"What, you haven't told them about your new girlfriend?"

"I can't even imagine. It would probably blow their adorable little minds. Besides, it's kind of unprofessional to tell my students about my love life, wouldn't you say?"

"Love life? Is that what this is? I thought I was just your magic sex toy."

Cheerilee blushes like crazy, glancing around them. "Ha! Ahem. Heh. Well... you are that."

"Good to know I mean so much to you," Twilight jokes. "Now let's eat."

Twilight picks up her menu, oblivious to Cheerilee. She looks it over, completely missing the long, fawning look Cheerilee is giving her.

"I was thinking just a salad, but if you want to split – oh." Twilight looks up. Cheerilee is staring at her with ecstatic resolve.

"Twilight... I..." she halts.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"No." Cheerilee takes Twilight's hooves in her own, grasping them tightly. "Nothing's wrong. The very opposite, in fact."

Twilight just raises her eyebrows, completely lost.

"I love you. Do you know that? I have completely, totally fallen for you. I love you, Twilight Sparkle."

Now it's Twilight's turn to blush. Her heart is singing, her head spinning. Their eyes meet.

"I... I love you too," Twilight says quietly.

They kiss, not caring if anyone is looking.

The café is empty now, all the umbrellas and cushions stowed inside. Twilight feels water in her eyes and blinks hard. The moisture threatens to creep out onto her cheek, but it stays back for now.

That was the first time she said she loved me. I said it, too. I meant it. Every word.

Twilight pauses, looking down at her hooves.

What happened?

That is the pertinent question, isn't it? Her hooves start moving again, carrying her to the edge of the square, and the thin stream there. Rain is just starting to trickle down from the sky, making scattered ripples in the water.

Ugh... speaking of cliché.

Twilight sighs loudly, and her horn glows. A thin shield of magic forms above her, glowing brighter where the occasional raindrop hits it.

How can I feel this way? It's not like I don't like her anymore.

It's true. She still loves spending time with Cheerilee. She still likes everything about her. There's nothing wrong or bad about her.

I want to love her. Maybe I'm in love with her... but I don't love her. No, that doesn't make any sense.

Twilight's hooves pad softly on wooden planks. She sits in the middle of a small bridge, staring down at the water. The ripples distort her reflection.

She's so wonderful. She's always been so wonderful.

I should love her. She's perfect for me. Absolutely...

Twilight creases her brow, glowering at the paper on her desk.

"There are many theories of magic, some conflicting. Some complementary," she reads out loud. "But a unified theory of magic has so far elusive... been eluded... elu... arg!"

She almost slams her face down on the desk, but catches herself. She takes a deep breath.

Tomorrow. The lecture is tomorrow. The special, by invitation-only, Equestria's-foremost-thinkers-will-be-there lecture is tomorrow, featuring keynote speaker Twilight Sparkle, favored protégé of the Princess herself. Said Princess will also be attending, of course.

Panic whines in her gut at the mere idea. She's been preparing this speech and the lab work supporting it for weeks. She's been reciting her speech over and over again for days. Her mane is frizzy and unkempt, her eyes supported by wrinkly bags.

Somehow, she's getting worse with more practice. It's madness.

A knock at her door. Spike has learned, through the incredibly embarrassing for all parties hard way, to always knock.

"I said no disturbances!" Twilight yells.

Spike comes in anyway. He's carrying something, but Twilight hardly sees it. A basket of some kind.

"I said no disturbances, Spike. This is incredibly important," Twilight says.

"It's not a disturbance. She made me promise I would bring it to you."

"She?" Twilight tears her eyes away from her desk. "Who?"

"Cheerilee. Duh." Spike rolls his eyes as he drops the basket next to Twilight. She glances down at it, and her breath catches in her throat.

A small paper sign is taped to the front of the basket. It says, "Twilight Sparkle's de-stress care package." The basket is filled with snacks, flowers, small pieces of paper and packets of tea. Twilight levitates one of the papers up to her eyes. It's a drawing, a simple little stick figure, like something a foal would draw. It shows a purple unicorn drinking a cup of tea, and then going to sleep with a big smile on her face.

"But... when... she left this here?" Twilight stammers.

"Just now."

"She was here? Now?! You didn't tell me?"

"You said no disturbances!" Spike holds his claws up, shielding himself.

Twilight tears through the library and out the door, not even closing it. She gallops through the streets, looking every which way for a dark pink mare.

Twilight finds her. She's sitting on the bridge in the center of town, looking down into the water.

"Oh! Hi." Cheerilee looks up as Twilight approaches.

"Hey," Twilight says.

They stare at each other for a long moment, just smiling.

"I didn't want to bother you," Cheerilee says. "I figured you needed the space. You've even been turning your friends away."

"No... no, it's... fine..." Twilight says, still catching her breath.

"Really?" Cheerilee says. "I know how important this is to you. You've been so worked up over it."

"Yeah." Twilight grins, averting her eyes. "I've sort of been going crazy in there."

Cheerilee steps closer and nuzzles her. "I know you'll be great," she whispers into Twilight's ear. "I wish I could come see you tomorrow."

"No, no..." Twilight chuckles. "I mean, me too. But I'm nervous enough already."

"I know." Cheerilee rests her chin on Twilight's shoulder. Twilight stares off into space, feeling her body unwind. Her eyelids droop. The feeling of Cheerilee's chest expanding against her is calming, soothing.

"Come back to the library with me," Twilight says.

"Are you sure?" Cheerilee says.

"I am. I could really use a break." Twilight's voice falters on her words, exhausted relief pouring out of her as she finally admits what everyone's been telling her.

"Okay."

They walk together in the soft glow of the streetlamps, their tails entwining.

...Perfect.

Twilight sits alone.

The rain has picked up. The ripples have grown, destroying any reflections. The water is just a dark, roiling pit of blackness. Distant thunder rolls through the air.

She really is great. Why don't I love her?

It's one of Equestria's great mysteries, and it crept up on her out of nowhere. She's not even sure when it happened. She sighs again, feeling empty.

What is this?

Her head jolts up. Her inner voice is angry, insistent.

Who am I? Some silly filly? Heck no! I am Twilight Sparkle!

That's right! That is right! Her hooves pick themselves up. She walks on, wandering aimlessly, lost in her thoughts.

I can figure this out.

I'm smart. I can figure this out. Let's start with some facts.

Fact: Cheerilee is beautiful and wonderful and great.

Fact: Cheerilee is obviously still in love with me.

Fact: At some point in the recent past, my feelings for her changed.

Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Cheerilee hasn't changed – I'm pretty sure of that. I've changed. It's me.

Why don't I feel the same for her as I used to?

What could it be? I'm not bored of her or anything. I still love to see her. Spend time with her. Know her.

Do I not know her well enough? Is there some level of intimacy I'm missing out on?

No, it can't be that. It definitely can't be that.

They're lying in Cheerilee's living room, on the same cushions where they kissed for the first time. Twilight's nose is buried in a notebook – a pink notebook, decorated with smiling flowers and hearts. Cheerilee is next to her, hiding her face under her hooves, quivering with anxious energy.

"Wow," Twilight says, not looking up.

"Wow?" Cheerilee peeks out from under her hooves.

"This one is really good." Twilight turns to her, putting the notebook down. "Sad, but good."

"Really? Which one?" Cheerilee says.

"Broken Rose."

"Oh... that one. Heh... yes." Cheerilee fumbles with her hooves.

"I mean... it's beautiful." Twilight leans into her. She stares off into space for a few moments, working her mind around the unfamiliar angles of emotional thinking. "It's about Big Mac, isn't it?"

Cheerilee startles, almost gasping. "Kind of. Good guess." She leans closer into Twilight, hiding her face. "He hates being called that."

"You told me."

They sit quietly. Twilight puts a foreleg around Cheerilee. "Are you ever going to tell me what happened with him? Really?"

"You really want to know?"

"I want to know about you."

Cheerilee gets a very serious look, taking a deep breath. "There's not much to tell, really. I used to come home from school. To visit," she says. "Other mares would flirt with him all the time. Right in front of me! They did it on purpose, I swear. They were just waiting for me to leave. They wanted me to know."

"You don't think he... cheated?" Twilight says.

"He wouldn't," she says. "I knew that. I trusted him. I tried to trust him. But it got to me, it did. We used to argue about it all the time. I couldn't help it. Whenever I was at school it just ate at me."

"It must have been awful when he left you," Twilight says.

"Actually, I dumped him."

"What?!"

Cheerilee winces, but goes on. "Things just weren't the same between us. It's hard, keeping it going when it's long distance. And I'd met a guy in Fillydelphia," Cheerilee says. "He seemed nice. He was there for me. Close. I just felt alone when I thought of Mac."

Twilight hugs her tighter, but her curiosity won't stay quiet. "So what are all these stupid rumors my friends won't tell me about?" she asks.

Cheerilee's face falls, a weary frown. "I heard them, too. When I moved back. I guess after we split up... I don't know. They say he slept around a lot. Some of the mares I knew said he was a real stud horse. A heartbreaker. Said it right to my face."

"Mac? Heartbreaker?"

"I don't want to believe it. He's not like that. He wasn't like that." Cheerilee sighs. "He's not like that now. Something happened. Your friend... his sister... she made him stop. I keep hearing that he won't go near mares anymore."

"Hmm." Twilight chews this over. She had never known Applejack to be good at hiding things, but she had successfully evaded answering these kinds of questions for months now. Twilight leaves it for later – Cheerilee is curled up next to her now, still looking despondent.

"At least you found someone new," Twilight says.

"Ugh." Cheerilee scowls. "The poem was about him, actually."

"...He left you?" Twilight's eyes go wide as it dawns on her.

"He just wanted to get me in bed. He dumped me right after I finally let him."

"That jerk!"

"It wasn't the last time." Cheerilee lowers her head, resting her chin on the cushions.

"What do you mean?" Twilight says cluelessly.

"It doesn't matter. I have you now." Cheerilee looks up at her with hope in her eyes. Then she gets a wry smile. "Although with my track record, I'll probably do something stupid and make you hurt me, too."

Twilight ignores Cheerilee's sarcasm.

"Never," she says.

"Hmm?"

"Never. I'll never hurt you. I promise."

Twilight freezes in place. She's back at Ponyville's town square. She's traced a wide, wandering circle through the streets, ignoring the rain falling around her.

Way to keep THAT promise.

She groans at herself, acutely aware of exactly what she's done. She's noticed the pained desperation in Cheerilee's eyes, the strained smiles, the obvious efforts to kindle some kind of spark in Twilight.

She knows. Of course she knows. She's not stupid.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to feel this way. I want to make her happy.

I want her to be happy!

The rain picks up around her, coming down loudly now. Lightning arcs across the sky, followed by the booming roar of nearby thunder. Twilight shivers, despite being dry under her magic.

Why haven't you just told her?

She rolls her eyes at herself. Right, just tell her. Hey, Cheerilee, I think I might not love you. Bright idea, right there.

She would be devastated!

NOT telling her is just making it worse.

But I can't! It would hurt her so much...

Her eyes dart around the square. Sugarcube Corner catches her eye. Warm light pours out through the windows.

They're still open? Of course, it's probably just Pinkie.

My friends... My friends! Of course!

Twilight slides in between ponies, joining them at their table. Her friends are all gathered. She grins nervously.

"Sorry I'm late! You know. Studying."

"Studying? You're late because of studying?" Rainbow Dash groans.

"Yer one to talk. You only just got here yourself." Applejack glares at her.

"Yeah, but I was napping."

They bicker pointlessly for a bit longer. Twilight ignores them, taking in the pub. It's warm and crowded and cozy, and they've even been nice enough to allow Applejack to come back after that awful night.

It's so much different from that night, long ago. Her friends all look happy.

"So, Twilight..." Rarity nudges her with a hoof. "How is everything going with your paramour?"

Twilight's smile was genuine until she heard those words. "Fine. Everything's fine."

"Really?" Pinkie Pie says. "Because she's right over there and you didn't say hi or anything so I thought maybe you guys were on the outs or something. And that would just be laaaaaame-o! You guys are cute together!"

Side conversations die as all eyes turn on Pinkie.

"Boy, she does cut right to the gristle, don't she?" Applejack says.

"Don't know what you mean! Everything's great," Twilight says.

"Forgive me for doubting you Twilight, but..." Rarity gives her a look, all knowing concern. "She's been trying to catch your eye since you walked in. Are you quite sure everything's alright?"

Twilight glances at the other side of the pub. Cheerilee is at a table with a group of her friends, and she is indeed staring at Twilight. Cheerilee gives a weak little wave of her hoof. Twilight gives a subdued wave back, then turns back to her friends.

"She's out with her friends. I don't want to bother them."

"It ain't just that. 'Cuz... we heard... well..." Applejack halts, uncomfortable with hearsay and gossip.

"Why are you ignoring her?" Rainbow Dash blurts out.

"Don't be ridiculous. I just saw her the other day." Twilight waves a hoof at them.

"How long ago?" Rarity asks.

"Why?" Twilight glares at her.

"Twilight," Fluttershy chimes in out of nowhere. "We're just trying to help you."

"Help? I don't need help. Everything's fine. What's with all this nosiness all of a sudden? Do I bug you guys about your dating all the time? Still alone, Applejack? You too, Rarity? How about you Rainbow? Are you still doing Pinkie Pie way more often than you pretend to?"

Shocked silence. Her friends are gawking at her. Twilight winces.

"Sorry. Sorry." She looks down at her hooves. "Let's get some drinks. I'm ordering alcohol. All the alcohol. Right now."

Her friends just glare at her.

"Um... first round's on me?"

Twilight shakes her head, closing her eyes.

What is wrong with me?

I need help. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know if I can fix this.

Not alone, anyway.

Help. Her hooves move quickly through the wet grass, carrying her towards that warm beacon. They can help. Even if it is Pinkie Pie.

Sometimes she makes sense.

Twilight grimaces, paused in front of the door.

Sometimes.

She breezes through the door of the bakery as if it isn't late evening. It's stuffy and warm and bright, thick with the sweet scent of baked goods. Two pairs of eyes look up at the sound of the bell hanging over the door.

"Hi Twilight!" Pinkie Pie's face lights up at the sight of her friend. She's standing behind the counter, mixing a bowl of something.

"Oh... hi." Fluttershy is sitting at the counter across from Pinkie, looming over a plate of cookies.

"Fluttershy? What in the world are you doing here?" Twilight asks.

"I was just getting some cookies. I thought I could get home before it started raining... but... it's so dark outside..."

"She's hiding here until the storm stops." Pinkie dumps more sugar into the bowl, stirring with pleased gusto. "We're having a super duper baking slumber party!"

"I can see that. Are you okay? Do you want me to take you home or something?" Twilight says.

"No, thank you. We really are having a super duper baking slumber party." Fluttershy smiles. "I made sure all my animal friends were safe inside before I came over. Just in case."

Twilight sidles up to the counter with a pleased smile and joins them. It wasn't long ago that Fluttershy would have been quaking in fear at the merest thought of leaving Angel Bunny alone for a night, even without a storm coming. But now she just seems relaxed.

So proud of her... she's doing so much better these days...

Fluttershy munches on another cookie, looking content. "Did you get caught in the storm, too?" she asks.

"Not really. I... I kind of need to talk to somepony. If you guys don't mind me interrupting your slumber party," Twilight says.

"Oh goodness. You look upset. Is something wrong?" Fluttershy says, exchanging a knowing look with Pinkie Pie. Twilight sighs – of course, they've probably been talking about her.

"It's about Cheerilee. I think I've really messed things up," Twilight says.

"Not to worry, Twilight!" Pinkie drops her mixing spoon and rubs a hoof on Twilight's head, leaving a stain of flour behind. "You just tell us what's wrong and your Auntie Pinkie Pie will straighten everything out!"

"Aren't you younger than both..." Twilight starts to say, but Fluttershy raises a hoof, shaking her head.

Pinkie Pie ignores the gesture. "So what's up?" she says.

Twilight hedges, tapping her leg against the counter.

Don't be nervous. This is good. First things first...

"I know I've been a jerk about this lately. I know you girls have been worried. But... I don't know. Things have gotten bad. And I guess I didn't want to admit it or something. But now I think I really need help."

"We've all been worried about you," Fluttershy says.

"I know."

"But every time we tried to talk to you, you would get all snappy. Like Gummy... but with teeth. Teeth made of mean words. Word teeth!" Pinkie says.

"I know... I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Twilight. We want to help. What's wrong?" Fluttershy says.

Twilight hedges even more. It's so difficult to say it, for some reason.

It's not true if I don't say it and nopony knows even though everypony already knows

That is so, so stupid. And wrong. Just say it!

"I think I might not be in love with Cheerilee anymore." Twilight bows her head.

"Biggest gasp!" Pinkie Pie whispers, pausing at her stirring.

"Oh no!" Fluttershy drops her cookie. "Oh, Twilight! That's just awful!"

Twilight groans, bowing her head further. Her horn rests on the counter with a soft bump.

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy asks.

"No, I'm not!" Twilight snaps back up, almost frantic. "I'm not sure! I'm so confused."

"Poor Twilight." Pinkie Pie shakes her head, looking very serious. "Even the smartiest, pantsiest of us all is laid low by the mysteries of love."

Twilight and Fluttershy give her a combined look of pure confusion, then ignore her.

"Let's talk about it. We can figure it out," Fluttershy says. "I know a thing or two about love."

"You do?" Twilight cocks a skeptical eyebrow.

"Well... not really. But I want to help!" Fluttershy eats another cookie with excited determination. "Why do you think you aren't in love?"

"Well..." Twilight scratches her chin. "When I first started dating Cheerilee, I was definitely in love. I could feel it."

"Like a warm, glowing feeling in your heart?" Fluttershy says, her eyes twinkling.

"Uh... yeah, kind of."

"And you just felt wonderful every minute of the day?" Fluttershy smiles rapturously, flaring her wings out.

"Yes." Twilight smiles.

"And you can't stop thinking about him and you just want to be with him all the time?" Fluttershy clasps her hooves together, staring off into space.

"Um... Cheerilee's a mare," Twilight says.

"Huh? Oh... right. I knew that." Fluttershy deflates, her wings drooping.

"But you still like Cheerilee, don't you?" Pinkie says. She looks like she's more concentrated on her batter than their conversation.

"Of course I do. She's wonderful. I just don't feel the same as I used to."

"Oh no..." Fluttershy gives her a grave look. "What if... what if... I'm really sorry to say this, but... what if Cheerilee isn't your one true love?"

"My one true love?" Twilight says.

"Yes! You know... your perfect partner! Your soul mate!" Fluttershy explains.

Twilight creases her brow. Given her recent doubts, she had been wondering something along those lines. Even if she hadn't used the same words as Fluttershy.

"Well... how do you know?" Twilight asks. "If someone's your soul mate, I mean."

"Gosh, I'm not sure." Fluttershy frowns with unknown doubts. "I thought you would know. I thought maybe you had found yours. But now I don't know what to think."

"Pfft." Pinkie Pie rolls her eyes.

"Excuse me?" Twilight turns on her.

"Oh, you girls..." Pinkie Pie shakes her head, sliding her batter bowl away. "Here's how it is."

Twilight and Fluttershy exchange another look of pure confusion. Pinkie pulls out a tray of cupcakes, then pops one free. She sets it on the counter in front of Twilight.

"Here's a cupcake. Doesn't it look good, Twilight?" she says.

Twilight stares at it. It's chocolate, with yellow frosting and red sprinkles.

"Sure. It looks delicious. Your cupcakes always look delicious."

"Okay then. Eat it!" Pinkie says.

Twilight raises an eyebrow. Pinkie Pie is coiled up, ready to pounce. She nods at Twilight. Twilight raises a hoof, and sticks it out towards the baked treat. Before she even gets near, Pinkie slaps her hoof away.

"No, wait!" she yells.

"What?!" Twilight shrinks away.

"Oh my?" Fluttershy shrinks a little as well.

"You don't want to eat THAT cupcake!" Pinkie yells. "Somewhere out there, all alone in Equestria, just waiting for you, is your perfect cupcake!"

"...What?" Twilight frowns at her.

"The perfect cupcake! The most perfect, most wonderful cupcake ever. You'll never need another cupcake!" Pinkie says, batting her eyes and looking off into the distance.

"Ooooh!" Fluttershy nods.

Twilight looks back and forth between them, then down at the cupcake. "It's just a cupcake, Pinkie," she says.

"Is it, Twilight?" Pinkie leans forward and glares, pounding a hoof on the counter. "Is it?"

"...Yes?" Twilight says.

"Anyway!" Pinkie forges on. "You don't want that cupcake. You're worried that it isn't your perfect cupcake. So you don't eat it. You are cupcake-less. Sans cupcake! Tragic."

"That's okay. She can wait as long as she needs to. Right, Twilight?" Fluttershy says.

"No. No! It's just a cupcake. There is no such thing as a perfect cupcake. Even if there was, there's no guarantee I would ever find it. There are millions of cupcakes. It's just... mathematically unlikely," Twilight says.

"Nope! You're going to pass on this perfectly good cupcake. Or, wait... maybe you used to like cupcakes. But you've been eating cupcakes for months." Pinkie Pie sweeps the cupcake away, grabbing some of Fluttershy's cookies. "So now you want a cookie. Even though cupcakes are still pretty good!"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Enough with the dessert." Twilight grabs the cookies with magic and hovers them back over to Fluttershy, much to the pegasus pony's delight. "But what if my feelings really have changed? What if I just don't like cupcakes... er, I mean... her as much as I used to?"

"Don't be silly, Twilight! You still like her, don't you?" Pinkie says.

"Of course I do. But the feelings Fluttershy was describing are gone. The love is gone."

"Those feelings aren't love!" Pinkie Pie laughs, like it's the most obvious thing ever.

"What?!" Twilight and Fluttershy say in unison.

"That's just what being IN love feels like! But that isn't love," Pinkie says.

Twilight and Fluttershy give her completely blank looks, more lost than ever.

"Okay... imagine the first time you try a brand new kind of cupcake..." Pinkie says.

Twilight groans. "No more cupcake metaphors. Please," she moans.

"The first time you try it, it's sooooooooooo good! But after you eat it a few more times, it isn't so exciting. It's old news. But it's still special and delicious. Right?" Pinkie raises her eyebrows, gauging Twilight's face.

"Maybe I should be getting back to the library. Thanks for all your help, though..." Twilight starts to get up.

"NO! Listen!" Pinkie grabs her face, pulling her back to the counter. "You have to listen!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" Twilight pulls Pinkie's hooves away, settling down again.

"You love your friends, don't you?" Pinkie asks.

Twilight stares at her, then at Fluttershy. They both just smile at her.

"Yes," she says.

"Would you stop being our friend if you found better friends?" Pinkie asks. Fluttershy gasps quietly.

"Of course not!" Twilight scoffs.

"Why not?" Pinkie says.

"Well... hypothetically speaking, of course. I don't think I could find better friends," Twilight says.

"Of course." Pinkie Pie nods. Fluttershy nods along.

Twilight takes some time, her mind scanning back through pages and pages of reports written with her own quill. This is her thesis, her final conclusion, the sum of all she's learned on her long assignment.

"I would never just stop being friends with you girls. Our relationship is too strong. We've shared so many experiences... I just couldn't. Even if some hypothetical perfect friend did come along."

"Exactly! That's what's important." Pinkie Pie beams at her.

"But..." Fluttershy raises a hoof, like they're in a classroom. "Isn't love different?"

"Why would it be?" Pinkie Pie gives her a quizzical look.

"Yeah, why..." Twilight trails off.

Why would it be different?

Twilight stares off into space, her face blank.

They're in the library's kitchen. Twilight is watching Cheerilee mix something in a bowl, grasping a wooden spoon awkwardly in her hoof. It's thin, runny batter of some kind.

"I can't believe you don't know how to cook," Cheerilee titters at her.

"Well, in my defense, I've always had Spike around. Or the palace wait staff. Or the University kitchen. Or my parents," Twilight says, feeling a little ashamed. "Thanks for teaching me?"

"My pleasure! I love baking." Cheerilee keeps stirring. She looks like she's concentrating far more than Twilight thinks is necessary.

"I've tried learning before. From my friends. It never exactly went well," Twilight says. Cheerilee smirks.

"Unfortunately, I'm not a master baker like Pinkie Pie. Or Applejack. I can do a pretty basic job. But I'll see what I can do for you." Cheerilee smiles at her, a warm gift of a smile. Twilight feels like she can do anything as long as that smile is backing her up.

"They didn't have your touch for teaching, I think. I feel like you explain things so much better." Twilight watches carefully as Cheerilee pours the contents of the bowl out into a round pan. "So what's next?"

"Now we bake it." Cheerilee turns around, rummaging through the myriad baking supplies on the counter. "It's a pretty quick-baking recipe. It just needs some heat to expand the air inside and thicken the dough."

Twilight gets a smug look on her face. "Quick-baking, you say?" she says.

"Mmhmm." Cheerilee doesn't turn around.

Twilight lights up her horn. She's always felt out of her element in the kitchen, lost and useless. The thought that she could actually bring something to the table fills her with confidence. Cheerilee turns around and gasps.

"Oh! What are you... what are you into there?" Cheerilee says, smiling proudly.

"Just some baking." Twilight grins. The pan is shaking on the table, the dough bubbling in the heat of her spell. "I'd like to see Spike make fun of me when we bring out this... "

She surges the energy in her horn. A loud, wet POP makes her jump, and her eyes close out of instinct. Stinging, sticky, wet drops splatter all over her. The light of her horn dies.

Twilight opens her eyes. The kitchen is covered – covered, even the ceiling – in hot dough. It's splattered everywhere. Cheerilee is staring at her in surprise, also covered in dough, oblivious to the heat. Her mouth hangs open.

"Um... whoops?" Twilight folds her ears back.

Cheerilee stands, frozen. Her eyes jump back and forth between Twilight and the empty bowl.

"Sorry?" Twilight says.

"HA! Hahahaha!" Cheerilee bursts into laughter, almost collapsing against the table. She howls at Twilight for whole seconds, shaking with mirth. Her chest heaves. Her eyes water. Twilight frowns at her.

"Ugh... you don't have to rub it in." Twilight says.

"No! No... haha... sweetie, your FACE! Hahaha..." Cheerilee wipes at her eyes, hardly breathing.

"Right. Right. Twilight is a bad cook. I know." Twilight rolls her eyes.

"Oh, come on." Cheerilee walks over to her, still snorting and giggling. She smiles at Twilight, different this time. Sympathy. Twilight stubbornly holds her frown.

Cheerilee leans forward and licks a bit of dough off of Twilight's nose. Twilight startles at the wet, tickling touch. She can't help but smile back now.

"You're really adorable sometimes, Twilight," Cheerilee says. Twilight says nothing – she just dumbly holds her smile, feeling silly for being annoyed before.

"Let's try again. From the top," Cheerilee says.

Twilight's eyes focus. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are bantering about something. The words fall soundlessly against her.

"I get it," she says.

Neither of her friends notices at first.

"I get it!" Twilight almost yells.

They both turn to her.

"There is no perfect cupcake," Twilight says, giving Pinkie a determined look. Pinkie Pie nods and winks very seriously.

"There isn't?" Fluttershy says, aghast.

"No! No, there isn't!" Twilight cries out joyously. "Maybe I'm not IN love with her. Maybe that rush of new love can't last forever. But that's not what's important."

"That's my girl." Pinkie Pie nods along.

"I have to go. I have to go home right now." Twilight gets up and almost walks out the door. She halts mid-step. "Wait! Pinkie, do you have any of those buns? You know, the ones I always get for her?"

"Red bean?"

"That's it!" Twilight nods intensely.

"A whole batch. Fresh from the oven." Pinkie winks again.

"I need a half dozen."

Pinkie mock-salutes and begins rushing around the bakery, filling a white box with fresh treats.

"Um... Pinkie?" Fluttershy weakly raises a hoof.

"Mmhmm?"

"What if there could be a perfect cupcake? What if it really seems perfect?" Fluttershy says.

"Eh..." Pinkie Pie pauses long enough to make a so-so gesture with her hoof.

"What if he... I mean, the cupcake... is the biggest, most handsome cupcake you've ever seen?" Fluttershy asks desperately.

"Oh, there's always a more handsome cupcake," Pinkie Pie says with hungry eyes.

"What if the cupcake is quiet and kind, just like you, and he seems soooooo nice and he's good with animals and..."

"Sorry to interrupt, Fluttershy," Twilight cuts in as Pinkie Pie hands her the box. Fluttershy just frowns down at her lap. "Thanks. Both of you. But I have to go. There's a mare I love, and she needs to know it."

"Go, Twilight!" Pinkie yells. "Go to her and love her and never let go!"

"Yes, that," Fluttershy says. "You should do that."

"I intend to!"

Twilight rushes out into the storm, the box resting on her back. Her magic shields her from the pounding rain and howling wind. The fury of nature is nothing before her. She trots home as if it was a sunny day, calm and smiling.

She closes the library door behind her. She takes a deep breath.

Okay... okay... start with "I love you" right away, or open up with the apologies?

She ambles around the main room, shifting her weight from hoof to hoof. This has to be perfect. Spike's door opens, and his head pops out, sniffing eagerly.

"What's that smell?" he asks.

"Just something from Sugarcube Corner," Twilight says smugly.

"Oh man! Are those Pinkie's hot delicious buns?"

Twilight snorts into her hoof. "Heh... um... yes, as a matter of fact."

"Awesome! Boy, I can't wait to put them in my mouth!"

Twilight just stares at him, not sure if she heard that correctly. He walks over and reaches for the box.

"Whoa! Claws off. Cheerilee gets first pick. I'm bringing them up to her now," Twilight says.

"What are you talking about? She left." Spike says.

"What?!" Twilight does a double take.

"Yeah, she left a while ago. She looked all sad."

Twilight gallops up the stairs, dumping the box on the floor behind her. She bursts through her bedroom door. The thought of Cheerilee just leaving is so alien, so wrong... it can't be true. That's not how this is supposed to happen.

Her bed is empty. Her room is empty. She walks slowly into the center of her empty, empty room, looking around.

But... what... no...

There's a new piece of paper on her desk, on top of the notes she was pretending to read earlier. She lifts it with her magic.

Twilight,

I went home. Please don't come see me. We need some time apart. I want to think about things.

I don't know if I can go on like this. I'll come find you in a few days.

And that's it.

There's no "Love, Cheerilee." No "Don't worry, everything will be fine." It just ends.

Like our relationship.

No! No, no, no, this isn't happening. It can't be!

Twilight drops the letter on her desk. Her head is floating, stuffy, wrapped up in itchy cotton.

I can still fix this. Right?

The possibility that no, she can't fix this, comes crashing into her brain. Her vision narrows, darkening around the edges, focused just on that awful piece of paper. She remembers to breathe and does so in a loud, choking gasp.

Her ear twitches. She turns her head to see Spike timidly standing at the top of the stairs. He didn't knock.

"Is... are you okay?" he says.

Twilight's lip quivers. Her chin shakes on its own. She's desperately, desperately trying not to cry.

"Spike. Do we happen to have a..." She sniffs loudly. "...time machine in the basement?"

"Not the last time I checked."

"Oh..." She squeezes her eyelids shut, but this time it just forces the tears out. "Darn."

She looks down at a blurry version of her floor. She feels Spike grab her in a little dragon hug, his arms not even reaching around her body. She puts her foreleg around him.

She leans her head against him, and they hold each other in the gloom.