Is it pretentious to start off with a radio broadcast? I mean, it's jumping right into the action, but it feels kinda cliché and 'oh look at us we're important', instead of it just being a thing that happens. But it was just the next interesting thing that happened to us, so unless I insert some flashback interlude or suddenly decide to tell the story in anachronic order, I'm going to have to go with that.

The radio didn't have room for tapes in it, and everyone else was sick of listening to woefully time-distorted rap music, so we just left it on RFM. The signal was crystal clear by now, since we were only a couple of miles from the transmitter at the top of the Royal Liverpole Building. About ten minutes after we left the remains of the arena, the music gave way to Tribute's annoying voice.

"Alright cats and kittens, it's time for some sport news with Tribute!" A mouth sound effect followed. "Thanks, Tribute." I gestured putting an imaginary gun in my mouth and blowing my brains out. Tribute adopted a deadpan tone. "In football, the match between Manechester United and Liverpole FC was cancelled due to a pitch invasion by the Saint from the Stable. The stable dweller drove a hijacked vehicle on to the field and proceeded to demolish the stands. There were no survivors." She broke her act and burst out laughing for a few seconds, before proceeding in her normal voice. "You heard me correctly! Not satisfied with giving the local Enclave the boot and shutting down the steel mills with efficiency that puts Maregaret Thatcher to shame, now it looks like she's cleaning up the raider problem! Next I'm gonna get reports in that she's found a spell to purge radiation, or fresh seeds to start agriculture with." Stars looked at me and blinked. "But more importantly, I might actually have to pony up on those drinks since she's heading this way! This is Tribute and you're listening to 91.1, Radio Free Mareseyside! Voted best station in the country, eight years running!"

We stopped. Snowy was still licking the blood off his chops, it was that fresh. Stars was the first to start moving again. "The Royal Liverpole Building is only a half hour's walk from here. Maybe she'll start narrating your approach to the building."

"Oh boy!" I quickened my pace. Onward, to free booze and bootlicking!

As we approached the building, I concluded that Tribute had to be one of those ponies without a functioning nose. I could smell the sea before I could see it, and it was the nauseating smell of rot. House and Stars didn't seem bothered by it, and Snowy could probably smell it all the way from Warreington, and what worried me most was that I might be adjusting to the smell too. The sea, the mother of all moisture, corrupting me by mere proximity, after already being weakened by the peppering from its airborne spawn...

"Atom, what is it that has you spacing out like that every now and then?"

"What? Oh, nothing. Just the weather."

"The weather?" Stars looked at House. He shrugged.

The building was one of the few intact ones on the seafront. It had two towers and was about as long as it was tall, capped with statues of birds and a clock that was stuck at about five past twelve. It was a weird mix of function and style, being largely brutal, square concrete, but with some domes and arches and capitals, like the architect was told to make the most boring building in existence, but secretly put some stylish features into the plans when nobody was looking. It had fared a lot better than the buildings around it, most of which were just rubble. Some of this rubble had been stolen to block up doors on the ground floor, and the only way in was past two bored-looking armed guards. Stars waved a thing at them, and they let us pass. Snowy had to stay at the door, but he was okay waiting.

We passed into an atrium with a ruined marble floor, and proceeded to the stairs. Evidently, the lifts had been out of order for a while. A couple of ponies milled about, minding their own sharply-dressed business. "Hm. Usually when I come here I see Uran trying to negotiate his way in."

"Who the fuck is Uran?"

"He's a gryphon mercenary. There was a ghetto of gryphons stranded in Liverpole after the war, and all the gryphons in the area are descended from them. Since they're typically hardier than ponies, they can make a pretty penny hiring out their ser-" I yawned loudly. Stars rolled her eyes. "Uran's band of mercs want to retire and settle in the Royal Liverpole Building but they're not let because they'll spook the other residents."

"Really? A few bird-brains scare these ponies?"

"Twice the size and carrying flesh-rending natural weapons? Yeah! Most of these ponies don't go out in the wasteland. They're the closest you might find to 'civilised'. There's too much culture clash. A couple of them are ghouls too. Have you ever seen a gryphon ghoul? It's not pretty."

"So you're saying the residents are right to turn them away?"

"Not... not exactly. I mean, you can't blame the gryphons for wanting to settle. They don't really have a home, and aside from hiring them to kill things, ponies don't really want anything to do with them."

"So the gryphons are in the right?"

"Not entirely. They speak their own language, which makes it difficult for them to communicate with ponies..."

"So it's okay to segregate them?"

"Okay, look, it's complicated, alright? I'm not pretending to have the answers."

"So, because of that, we should ignore the problem until it goes away?"

Stars bopped me on the head. "Let's just get your stupid drinks and go."

We continued to the top floor of the building. I could hear music coming from a source other than our radio, so I turned ours off. Stars led us two doors down, and ducked her head inside. The rest of her followed, and I heard her knock. Then she leaned back and gestured for us to enter. The room was studio flat in the most literal sense - an single-roomed apartment with furniture and necessities across from a mixing desk and towers of vinyl records. Behind the desk, a pony's eyes lit up when they saw me. She nearly spat out her drink. It looked like cola, but there was a bottle of rum near her too. At a guess, it was twelve. I saw no problem with this.

She tripped over some junk trying to get out from behind her desk in a hurry. "Is this her? Are you her?" I recognised the voice as definitely Tribute. She looked mostly like I'd expected her to look - styled in pre-war rave fashion, down to the huge sunglasses, highlights and gratuitous belts. At first I was pleasantly surprised to find a pony who wasn't entirely some variant of grey, but then the bright green and pure white combo smacked of bad colour sense to me, and hurt my eyes after a little bit. So yeah - she looked like she sounded. Loud.

"Maybe? One pronoun only narrows it down to half the population."

Stars sighed. "Yes, Tribute, this is Atom Smasher."

Tribute shoved past Stars to grab my hoof and shake it vigorously. House found a couch to take a nap on. "Oh, man, is this an honour! I... is that a sticker?"

"I'm playing on hard mode."

She laughed. "That is hardcore!"

"Now, about those drinks..."

She doubled over and grinned. If she gushed any harder, she was going to start vomiting. "Of course! I'm a girl of my word. Let me just throw a couple more records on the changer and we can get a round in." She hopped over the pile of stuff she'd tripped on to get back to the desk and pick out some tunes to mount up. "I'd ask what you're drinking, but unless you feel like being relieved of all your caps downstairs, I think we should stick to the Captain Maregan's I have here, yeah?"

"Booze is booze. I am easily pleased."

She chuckled. "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you..." I looked at her blankly. "No? Sword Mares?"

I looked to either side, then shrugged. "What's that?"

"No comic books in the stable?" I shook my head. "Wow. Wow. I'm going to have to catch you up on your cultural education, young lady." I gave her an eyebrow. Bitch, if you think I'm going to be around long enough to do that...

A thump on the roof startled everyone except Tribute. A few seconds later, a pegasus landed on the balcony. I reached for my gun. "Relax!" Tribute finished with the records and jumped out from her makeshift booth to walk to the window. She opened it, and the pegasus stepped inside. Tribute locked it behind her. They shared a hoofbump. "Guys, this is my partner in crime, Grapevine. G, meet Atom Smasher."

"'Sup."

"She gives me the scoop on everything happening in the wasteland. News as it happens, all the time." Ah. Mystery solved.

Grapevine removed a pair of bags and nodded at me. "I've seen you around. You have no idea how much easier my job is with that Thunderhead gone."

"I'm kind of hard to miss."

She had a more subdued laugh, more of a grin with air forced through it. "Ain't that the truth."

"So, G! What's happening?"

"There's some raider movements in Manechester. I think the City raiders decided to make a move on Old Troughord after they heard what happened." I smiled and waved. "There's a cloud front off to the southwest that's breaking up so there's a chance of light showers, and... that's it really. The morning route had a, eh, diversion, so there's probably some things I missed."

"Of course!" Tribute gave me a playful nudge in the shoulder on her way back to get the rum. She stopped when she reached the desk. "Actually... actually, I have an idea. Atom, how do you feel about doing an interview?"

This actually threw me off guard. I made an exaggerated display of thinking. "When?"

"You're here. I'm here. About two songs from now?"

"Can we drink on air?"

"I never don't."

"Excellent! Let's do it." Stars scoffed and started looking for a bathroom.

Grapevine frowned. "What's her problem?"

"Stool Razor. A bit uptight."

Tribute chuckled. "Sounds about right. Good security when Smith and Wesson at the door get overwhelmed, but they can be the worst whiteknights sometimes."

"Speaking of Security, it seemed kinda lax on the way up here. Two dudes at the door and that was it. I'd have thought you'd have more bodyguards."

Tribute fiddled with a second microphone and tested it before answering. "Only folks who know we're based up here are the ponies in this building and the Steel Rangers. As far as everyone else is concerned, the Royal Liverpole is just a gated community in a tower."

"I keep saying that most ponies seem to lack a concept of stealth."

I got myself comfortable behind the desk and we split the last cola as a mixer. It was room temperature, but fared better than beer. The last song hit its crescendo, then died off. Tribute started talking before it was over. Annoying DJ habits while I'm there in person? Fucking hell.

"Now then now then, cats and kittens! Do I have a treat for you? Of course I do. I'm Nightmare Night and Hearth's Warming all at once, treats non-stop, round the clock. But today is something special! Say hi."

She pushed the microphone at me. I paused. Then I lowered my voice into a smooth alto. "Hey." I furrowed my brow. I could just about hear myself through Tribute's headphones. "Do I really sound like that?"

She grinned, but didn't break her verbal stride. "I've got a surprise guest in the RFM studio! She dropped in unannounced and desperately thirsty. You might remember her from such wasteland hits as 'Thunder over Manechester' and 'Braytish Steel - the Implosion of Showffield'. Live on Radio Free Mareseyside, it's the one and only Saint from the Stable, Atom Smasher!" She leaned back from the mic and clapped. Grapevine, sitting across the room, chuckled and contributed to the no-budget sound effect. House was already asleep. Stars returned with a bottle of water.

"Thank you, thank you... I didn't say stop."

Tribute laughed. "Great to have you here Atom. So! Tell me. We see ponies popping out of stables every now and then, and it's usually the same story. 'Aah, where's the ceiling, I'm dizzy, why is everyone killing each other!' But you've really hit the ground running, and not only that but you ride around committing acts of wanton heroism in style. Where do you get that kind of drive and panache?"

"Well... this should be the part where I trot out the spiel from a sponsor, yeah?"

"A can of Red Dash every morning?"

"No, it has to be Cheesey Burger or something completely unrelated and obviously unhealthy like that."

"Of course!"

"But nah, I just... I dunno." I sipped my drink. "I'm all for maximum fun, and wasting time being helpless and miserable isn't very fun. It's like, I could sit around looking for things to angst about, or I could make things explode instead."

"Fun?" Tribute coughed as her drink went down the wrong way. "Well aren't you Mrs. Unflappable!"

"Gotta do something to amuse yourself in the big bad wasteland, right?"

"And you might as well fight the good fight while you're at it?"

"I guess. I didn't really have a plan when I came out of the stable. I just kind of... went places, and things happened. If you look at it another way, say you're in school. You have all the wimpy kids getting their lunch money stolen every day, and the bullies lording it over them and living like kings. And then I enter this scenario. I could easily throw my lot in with either group. If I get behind the bullies, then yeah, I beat up a couple of dweebs, and that's amusing for like... five minutes. They don't fight back. But if I go against the bullies, now there's a challenge. That's fun."

Tribute paused while she processed this. I made the note that sociopath logic shuts her up. "Well, I'm not gonna argue with the results!" She chuckled and headed half her drink. "What was it like in your stable? Was it one of the experimental ones, did it have anything funny about it?"

"It was built entirely in a giant underground sweetroll."

"Really?"

"I had to leave because it was starting to rot through."

"I knew Stable-Tec did some weird experiments, but that's just..."

"I'm pulling your leg. You can't build stables out of cakes." There was a thud as Tribute's forehead hit the table. "But really, if you look at the entirety of my life, even though it takes up like, 99.9% of it, the part where I lived in a stable was the dullest part. There's only so much variety in a bunch of tunnels you're supposed to live your whole life in."

"I know a lot of ponies who would give anything to retire to a stable, but that doesn't really sound like you. Would you say you live for danger?"

"Sounds about right. I'd give directions to Stable 512 if anyone wanted to sneak back in and pretend to be me, but I've probably forgotten where it was already."

"I know sometimes the ponies that find their way out of stables are the ones that have a bit of a wanderlust, or, like yourself, just get bored with being safe and dry. Have you met any other stable dwellers in your travels?"

"There was one. When I was in the Preak District, there was this guy, easily twice, three times my age. He'd gone and rounded up the raider tribes in Scoltland to lead a purge of Braytain." Tribute sprayed the console with coke. She went into a panic to clean up the mess before it rendered the thing unusable. Stars tossed over the cape from Brumare. I was surprised she still had it. I didn't miss a beat talking about Bravehorse though. "I think the wasteland got to his head. They were styling themselves after Coltic historical and mythological figures with all the accuracy and consistency of a Mule Gibson movie. He even offered me a job, but itchy trigger hooves happened, and we had to leg it. Far as I know he's still out there."

Tribute nodded at Grapevine, and she started scribbling down some notes on a pad from her bag. "Cats and kittens, you heard it here first, watch yourselves in the Preak District..."

"Oh, also, batten down the hatches and shoot anyone in a kilt on sight, because they're still on the way. I could have been Thane of Flankashire if I'd taken him up on his offer."

Tribute clutched her head and mouthed a 'wow'. "You serious?"

"It's less of a stretch than a gingerbread stable, eh?" I chuckled, but I was the only one laughing. "Nah, I didn't see any other stable dwellers around, but I did find another stable. Actually it'd be more accurate to say it found me. This morning I woke up in Stable 16 after getting abducted by the Enclave. Turns out they were using the place as a secret base."

"What?"

"Oh relax, it's fine. The place is rubble now." Grapevine made more notes. "It's funny. While I was there I managed to convince them I was going to join them, and they told me about their secret plan to bomb Manechester and Liverpole to dust in retaliation for scuppering the Majesty." Tribute and Grapevine looked at each other slack-jawed.

Stars dropped her water. "You didn't tell us this!" House remained asleep.

"It seems a bit misplaced, considering they were perfectly willing to hire the one who actually blew it up, and then they were going to bombard... everyone else? If you needed any further evidence of the Enclave being astronomical jerks for no good reason, there it is. I-"

"Atom, it's been great to have you but we're going to have to leave it there. Cats and kittens, this is Tribute and I've been talking to Atom Smasher on 91.1, Radio Free Mareseyside! Make sure all your stuff is nailed down, because I think we're going to have an explosive summer." With the touch of a button, the microphones went dead and the music started up again.

"What did you do that for? I was only on for like, two minutes!"

Tribute ignored me. "G, you get all that?"

"Swing over Runicorn and start scouting the Preak District. Four hours tops."

"Awesome." They bumped hooves over the top of the desk, and Grapevine left through the window.

Stars stepped over. "The Rangers should have heard that. They should be starting preparations already."

"Alright, cool. Are you guys going to meet up with them?"

"I dunno. I could really do with some lunch." Stars glared at me. "Also, I guess we could take a look at Formby."

"You know about Formby?"

"Enclave guy wanted me to knock out the anti-air guns there."

Stars went wide-eyed. "Atom, can you tell us these things?"

"Those guns are gonna be useful. If you could run ahead to the base and clear out any nasties at home, you could save the Rangers some grief."

"Is there somewhere to get food there?"

Tribute chuckled again. "You can eat before you leave. Just no three course banquets, alright?"

I threw my hooves in the air and stormed out. "Alright! Fine! Sheesh!" I heard Tribute getting the funny side of it, and Stars sighing as I walked out.

I also heard her waking up House. "Did I miss something?"

Stars insisted we eat quickly, and we were on our way in twenty minutes. Snowy jumped me as soon as I was out the door to cover me in slobber. I heard the click of a gun being cocked, and a few more clicks in response. When I fought my way out from being accosted by an eight foot dog, I got a look at what was going on; a gryphon pointing an assault rifle at us in a panic, and the two guards with triggers in their mouths. The gryphon tilted his head when he saw me climbing on Snowy's back. I put two and two together.

"Relax, Snowy here is tame." I scratched him behind the ear, and he made an appreciative noise. The gryphon hesitated, then lowered his gun. The guards stood down too.

"Get lost Uran, before you cause any more trouble."

"But I have not done anything! I only came here to ask for your Barmherzigkeit..." He had an accent thicker than cold definitely-not-peach-flavoured nutrient gloop.

"You do that every day, and you don't stop being a waste of oxygen. Now scram."

Uran sighed and started walking away. "One lives in hope that one day you will open your doors and your hearts to us."

I jumped off Snowy to catch up with him. "I'm not sure why you keep doing that."

"My people cannot live as hired guns forever. It is no way to be for very long."

"No, I mean just going up to them and asking them nicely to let you in. It's obviously not working, so why don't you try something more pragmatic?"

"More... pragmatisch?"

"Y'know, think about what your options are and do something that you know will work instead of trying the same failed plan day in, day out."

"Atom, Formby is this way," Stars called. I ignored whatever Uran said next and reclaimed my perch atop Snowy.

Level up! New perk: A Face For Radio HEY

You get a situational +10 bonus to Speech if the person you are talking to can't see your face.