Chapter Thirteen
That Old Black Magic

The flagstone under me dropped, and I instinctively gave two big flaps to get airborne, then moderate ones to hold my position. Jigsaw had been standing directly in front of the pedestal, and so was clear of the section of moving floor. Successive stones sank down, each a bit further than the last, forming a stairway leading down below the building.

"Oooooh!" Jigsaw did a little dance on tippy-toes. "This is gonna be great!" I made a mental note to invite her to the Castle of the Two Sisters when we got back to Equestria. If a secret stairway thrilled her that much, she was going to love all the mechanisms built into the old place for the amusement of a couple of fun-loving alicorns.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" She had descended three steps before I could grab her and pull her back.

I held her up in front of me and shook her. "Jigsaw! What are you doing? There could be anything down there!"

She scowled and crossed her hooves over her chest. "Yeah? And isn't that exciting?"

"Well... yes," I admitted. "But we are still operating in Column B, under the assumption that there are things in the city that could kill us. And where better to put a trap than where your most valuable artifact is?"

Jigsaw sighed. "Twilight, no matter how much we like to joke around, this isn't a Daring Do 'novel'. Yearling exaggerates the hay out of everything! There aren't traps every five steps!"

"It's the sixth step that worries me!" I landed beside the stairway and set Jigsaw down. "I'm responsible for your safety, and unless you promise me to be as careful as possible, and let me go first into any doubtful areas, you're going to stay up here while I investigate on my own, understand?" I gave her my This is Serious Business glare.[1] "Will you promise me?"
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[1] The one that even works on Pinkie Pie, sometimes.
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She scowled at me in silence for a moment, and then replied, "Sure. If you promise me to stop being such a jerk!"

"What?" I reared back like I'd been slapped. "What..." I floundered for an appropriate response. I had just stopped her from throwing herself down some stairs into who knows what sort of danger. And for that, I was being a jerk? "Jigsaw... I was just... I was concerned for you..."

"Just now, or last night?"

Oh. "Okay... why don't you tell me why you're upset with me. Clueless bookworm, remember?"

"I thought you wanted to put it off until later."

"Not if it's going to make you behave recklessly." I swallowed nervously, "I'll admit that looming deadlines tend to make me hyperventilate, but if this is so important to you, we need to talk it out now."

Jigsaw didn't look at me for a while and then said, "You humiliated the general in front of her cluster. Hadn't you just told me the day before what a stupid thing that was to do to Queen Chrysalis?"

"Wha... I... but that's different!"

Jigsaw cocked an eyebrow at me. "Really? How?"

"She... you... she seduced you! She tricked you into..." I trailed off, wondering why Jigsaw was laughing.

"Oh, Twilight! You are a shut-in, aren't you?"

I trampled down my anger at that. This was about making things right between us, not contesting over which of us was more worldly. "I know you were willing, but she was still taking advantage of you! You were upset... just getting over—"

"Willing? Twilight, I was the one who asked her!"

Oh. I was getting really tired of being unpleasantly surprised. "I see." I thought furiously for a moment. "And... I was angry at her for something you did. I can see how that was unfair."

Jigsaw shook her head again. "No, Twilight, you're just not getting it. It doesn't matter who you were angry with. What you did to the general... in front of all of us... you were being a jerk and a bully! That wasn't the way anypony should ever treat a friend!"

"A... friend?"

"Yes, a friend!" Jigsaw was obviously trying to control her temper—and failing. "Maybe you don't like her, but I was starting to get to know her, and I think that she and I could have been friends. That's probably not going to happen, now."

I sat down with a thump. Thankfully, there was no carpet of dust inside the building. I was in shock. She was right. I had been angry because I was revolted—and, somehow, hurt by the whole thing. I honestly didn't know how much of it was being protective of Jigsaw and how much of it was embarrassment that she was using—my image, I suppose, to—to—

Rarity, Fluttershy, and I were having cocoa and cookies at Sugarcube Corners when Rainbow Dash zoomed in through the doors and came to a stop, hovering at our table. There was a large roll of paper tucked in the crook of her foreleg.

"Heya gals!" Rainbow called out. "Wait'll you see what I've got!"

"Let me guess," I said. "A new Wonderbolts poster?"

"Nope!"

"This week's weather schedule?" Rarity guessed. "It's only two days late."

Rainbow Dash blew air through her lips, dismissively. "Clear and cold all week, everypony knows that! No, this is really cool!"

There was a crash of dropped cookie sheets and, for some reason, the sound of a cowbell from the kitchen, and Pinkie Pie called out, "Is it that new perfume advertisement that Fluttershy posed for?"

Rainbow Dash gave a cry of outrage. "Darn it, Pinkie! How did you know?"

"Lucky gue... ooh... ahrhg... no! Put that down!" More noises, indicating a baking mishap and things best not looked into, came from the kitchen. "I'm okay, I'm okay! But don't come in here!"

We all looked at each other, shrugged, and turned our attention back to the poster that Rainbow Dash was unrolling. "Ta-da!"

This was a month or so after Fluttershy had quit modeling. Mostly, she had fallen out of the public eye, but a few photos that she had shot previously showed up in magazines and on products occasionally. That particular poster was for a perfume line called Innoscents [sic][2] and featured Fluttershy, in a diaphanous little wrap dotted with silk cherries, stretched out on a velvet day-bed. Her eyes were looking directly at the viewer, wide and wary, as if some ravening beast was stalking toward her.[3]
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[2] Several times, I've asked Celestia to introduce laws about such things, but she just chuckles and shakes her head.
[3] Admittedly, if some ravening beast were stalking toward Fluttershy, she would probably have jumped up to comfort the ghastly thing—but, you know what I mean.
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"Oh, my!" Rarity said. "You look positively adorable in that shot, Fluttershy! The nightie isn't bad work, either. I wonder who made it?"

"Yes," Fluttershy said. "It's... nice. Um... are there very many of those posters around?"

"Oh, yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded. "Lots! They're giving 'em away at Barnyard Bargains as a promotional thing."

Fluttershy, predictably, gave a tiny gasp of dismay and lowered her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face.

"Don't worry, dear." Rarity patted her on the shoulder. "I'll lend you my hat and scarf... and a pair of dark glasses, so you can get home incognito."

"Th—thank you."

"Yep," Rainbow Dash kept on, oblivious. "There's gonna be a whole lot of colts holding up this poster with one hoof, tonight!"

I thumped my cocoa mug down on the table and glared at her. Rarity rolled her eyes and said, coldly, "Do you have to be so crude, Rainbow Dash?"

Fluttershy peered out from behind her hair, with a puzzled frown. "I... I don't understand."

Rainbow Dash, the ever-helpful, completely clueless Rainbow Dash, mimed it for her.

"Oh! Oh my! Oh... I..." Fluttershy tried to slide under the table. Her cheeks could have set my cocoa to simmering.

"Rainbow!" Rarity growled, putting a comforting and restraining leg around Fluttershy.

"What? It's true!"

We didn't hear from Fluttershy for a week and a half after that, when she sent a bluejay into town with a note for Rarity, asking if everypony had forgotten about the posters yet.

I promised myself that, when I got back, I was going to treat Fluttershy to a full day at the royal spa for even thinking about snickering at her back then. I could feel my own cheeks beginning to glow.

"I'm sorry, " I said. "You're right. I did overreact, and it was wrong of me. I'm sorry for treating your friend that way. I'll apologize to the general when she gets back."

"Oh." Jigsaw blinked. She obviously hadn't expected me to agree with her so quickly. "Uh... well, thanks, I guess. I hope the general does come back."

"I'm pretty sure she will," I said with assurance.

"Why do you think that?"

"I guess you couldn't hear from behind the changelings, but the general was a bit concerned that I was going to kill you. I assured her I wasn't. She seemed relieved to hear it."

"Really?" Jigsaw blinked again.

"Yep," I nodded. "I think she likes you. And I think that's a good thing."

Jigsaw frowned and her eyes narrowed. "Are you messing with me?"

"No, not at all."

Jigsaw's frown softened but she still seemed suspicious. "So, you're okay with me and the general—"

"No, not at all."

"Wait... what?"

"You two, having a physical relationship? I'm fine with that.[4] It's the general wearing my body I'm not okay with. It's demeaning, and I don't think it's healthy for you, either."
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[4] As long as I didn't have to think too much about it. Ewww.
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"Oh." It was Jigsaw's turn to blush. "Well, I guess I'm the one who wanted to clear the air."

"I promise I'll treat her like a friend from now on if she will stop... well, I... I guess I should ask if it will still work for her if she doesn't look like me."

Jigsaw gave a bitter bark of a laugh. "Twilight, it didn't work even when she was being you! She couldn't... uhg... feed is such an ugly word, but I guess there isn't a better one. If changelings could eat lust, she would have gotten a bellyfull, but I guess they're more finicky than that."

Lust? Oh, sweet stars, I could feel my cheeks burning. "Then... why..."

Jigsaw shrugged. "It started out as an experiment, really. No, don't interrupt me! That's my story and I'm sticking to it." She swallowed nervously. "Anyway, she told me that she could feel something while were were just talking, but nothing more when we... uh..." She made little twirly motions in the air with one hoof.

"So," I said, feeling just the tiniest built guilty for enjoying her embarrassment. "Further experimentation is warranted?"

"As long as you're okay with it, I guess."

"I'll be fine, I promise. Just make sure the general imitates somepony else. I'm serious about this: I was really creeped out by it. Isn't there some celebrity or model you like that you don't know personally? Fleur de Lis or..." A sudden thought hit me. "Not Fluttershy! Uh... just... whatever," I finished, lamely.

Jigsaw nodded, not looking up. "Thanks, Twilight. Sorry for being so..."

"Yeah, me too." I paused for a second. "So... mysterious crypt?"

She looked up, grinning, "Sure thing! How do we play this?"

"You go first, because you've got the more experienced eyes. But, I'm covering us with a mobile shield. It's form-fitting and a bit stiff, but shouldn't restrict our movements much. It will give us a good measure of protection."

"Proof against ceiling alligators?"

I was glad she felt comfortable enough to kid around again. "Guaranteed."

So, down we went.

The stairs continued much further down than the movable stones. There was a touch-crystal to reset them but we both agreed that leaving our avenue of escape open would be wisest. Almost a hundred steps later, Jigsaw hesitated.

"What is it?" I asked.

"This step is... not like the others. Lots of tiny differences."

"A trap?"

"Oh, Twilight! You sound almost eager!" Jigsaw shook her head. "I keep telling you, traps are rarer than hen's teeth!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time I ran into a cockatrice? They've got teeth."

Jigsaw sighed. "Okay, if it's a trap, there should be something different about the ceiling or walls or... or... hey! Well, roll me in clover and call me a foal! Will you look at that!"

"What?" I couldn't even spot the difference in the step, let alone whatever else it was she'd noticed.

"Metal studs in the walls to either side of the step. They've been greased and coated with powdered stone so they'll blend in."

"Wow, you've got good eyes!"

"Trained eyes," she said. "What do we do now? Jump over?"

I thought about it for a few moments. "If I was a fanatic separatist concerned about Celestial agents sneaking around, I might just put an obvious trap first and then a better hidden one, just after. Why don't we back up a ways and I'll push down on the steps?"

We did that. When I pushed down with about a pony's weight worth of force on the odd step, violent arcs of pure magic jumped between the metal studs to either side.

"Wow!" Jigsaw gasped. "Pretty impressive! Your shield would have stopped that, though. Right, Twilight? Uh... Twilight?"

The black streams, wreathed in roiling purple eruptions and green discharges, were immediately familiar to me: dark magic. "Jigsaw, we need to be more careful."

"Oh," was all she said.

Our procedure changed. I wove grounding cantrips into our shield and put more power into it. As we continued, I pressed down on each stair about three pony lengths before we reached it.

There was a second trap just a few steps behind the first. The step itself was a fake. It was made out of layers of paper glued together and coated with rock dust. When I pressed down, it crumpled and fell into the hidden pit underneath.

We peered down into the pit. There were long spikes at the bottom. "Too narrow for a pegasus to flap her wings. Too short a fall for most unicorns to be able to to react with magic. Nasty," I observed. "I really wish I could bring myself to use the S-word."

"Oh," Jigsaw said, "You want to fully express your distaste, princess?"

I merely nodded.

"Well, how about calling them roadapple-eating daughters of..." She went on like that, getting more and more vulgar, until she ran out of breath.

"Jigsaw..." I was—well, impressed can carry both positive and negative meanings, so that will have to suffice. "I think it's a good thing a pony can't get a cutie mark for that sort of talent!"

She shrugged. "It comes in handy sometimes. All my talent for track-and-field got me was a partial scholarship. Not much call for javelin tossing nowadays."

"You're a mare of many talents," I said with as neutral a voice as possible.

"Hey! Maybe there'll be a third griffin war! Then, I'll be pegging those buzzards like..."

"Enough with the racial slurs, if you please! 'Different countries, different customs; mustn't be prejudiced, Peachy.'"

She giggled with joy at the Barnyard Tipling reference. "I'm so glad you read something besides Yearling's dreck! You know I'm not really prejudiced, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, you're just blowing off steam after witnessing the shocking evidence of some ponies' callous disregard for equine life." I really wondered what she had against the Daring Do books, but decided to save that discussion for another time.

"Yeah, let's go with that."

We continued downward for a long ways, encountering only one more trap. It was a simple affair, with spring-loaded steel blades. It had corroded badly and only moved about a hoof-width when I hit the step. Jigsaw marked it with a large zig-zag chalk mark, anyway, just as she had done for the others.

At the bottom of the stairs was a large landing and a stone doorway. The doorway had once been filled with a thick, iron-bound door, but it had rusted and crumbled nearly to dust. It was a bit puzzling. Such a door should have survived a thousand years fairly well in such a protected place, if there wasn't some corrupting force acting on it.

Jigsaw got a look through the doorway first. Her head went up and her ears went back in shock. "Holy..."

I quickly joined her, and the corrupting influence was explained. There, in the center of a truly huge cavern, was an enormous black crystal, set vertically on its long axis and rotating slowly. Sheets of magical dark energy rippled over its surface, hissing and shimmering.

I instantly dropped our shield and whispered urgently to Jigsaw, "Whatever you do, don't use your magic in here!"

She rolled an eye back at me, and I could see white all the way around her iris. "Madness and death?" she whispered back.

"Or worse," I told her.