Sleep really didn’t come to me that night, though it wasn’t for lack of trying on mine or Ares’s part. It was a restlessness that you’d only feel once or twice on your life that kept me up, trying to ignore the ticking of a clock as I listened to the human’s beating heart slowly thump in his chest.

Unlike me, the human had conked out a few minutes after I had turned off the lights, Ares oddly okay with me just laying on top of him with the blanket snugly over us.

He’s still really cold, I idly thought to myself, gently nuzzling Ares’s cheek while he gave me a quiet snort. I wonder if it’s because all humans have no fur or because of what happened to him.

My sleep-deprived mind started to wonder off.

Even if they are all cold, humans must be great just to hold like this, I wiggled on top of the human to get a little more comfortable, my wing tightening around his body. I mean, they’re way bigger than ponies, so even somepony like Aunty Celestia can be the little spoon if they want, and they’re arms are so much better in holding than a ponies legs.

I frowned, picking my head up a little bit to look around for that clock, which sounded like it was getting louder.

Not to mention that they have hands, so they can pet you when you’re getting ready to sleep, and they can help you conk out even faster than usual. I hummed thoughtfully, closing my eyes. And—if Ares is anything to go by—they smell really nice… I wonder if I can find out what shampoo he uses then I can get Shiny to—

I stopped that thought, frowning angrily before I shook my head. Nono, none of that Cadence, I chastised myself. Shiny’s probably just as emotional about what his mother did as you.

Now I fought back tears. And you just kicked him to the curb and let yourself be a cry-baby. What kind of—

I let out a little squeak when the human jerked slightly when he let out a loud snore, almost knocking me off of him.

For a few minutes I couldn’t help but glare down in irritation at the human muttering, “You can’t even let me wallow in self-pity for a minute, can you?” I snuck my nose on the human’s face, for some reason expecting an answer.

“Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” I demanded in the harshest whisper that I could produce, getting a sleepy nuzzle from the human as an answer. I couldn’t help but giggle weakly, my tears quietly falling onto his chest as I laid my head back down and closed my eyes.

“Silly human, always trying to make me feel better, even when you’re asleep…” I muttered, humming again in thought before I giggled again. “Boy am I tired,” I looked around sleepily again. “I wonder how long I’ve been awake to be thinking like this.”

I snorted while Ares’s grip tightened around my body slightly. “Well, since you won’t let me be a baby, I guess I should tell you what we’re probably going to do tomorrow.”

“Or you could just go to sleep.”

I froze as Ares opened his eyes groggily to look up at me. “Candy, what are you doing up this late?” He raised his head up to look at something in the darkness. “It’s like three in the morning…”

I blinked, half in confusion and half in embarrassment. “O-Oh I’m sorry, Ares, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Though I couldn’t see it, I could tell that he was rolling his eyes as he sighed. “Did you even get any sleep yet?”

I laid my head back down on his chest, sighing sadly. “…No.”

I shivered a little bit when I felt Ares’s hand reach up and start to scratch my ears. “Come on, Cadence,” I heard him say almost desperately. “You need to get some sleep.”

“But I’m not tired,” I murmured half-heartedly. It was getting harder and harder to contribute to the conversation because the human was now gently running his other hand down my back.

I tried to squirm weakly as Ares pulled the blanket over the two of us a little more. “Too bad,” he told me, yawning hugely. “We both need to sleep; you remember what happened the last time you tried to stay up all night?”

Thank Faust it was pitch black in the room and my head was on Ares’s chest, so that the human wouldn’t see my blush. “It wasn’t that bad!” I tried to defend myself.

Ares just snorted, both of his hands going to my ears. “I mean, I understand getting loopy after not sleeping for two or three days, but someone that mutters to themselves after not sleeping for a day?” I looked up, and I couldn’t help but giggle when I saw what looked to be a grin.

My wings tightened around him. “Just be quiet…”

The two of us lapsed into silence, with him stroking my neck and ears while I wiggled on top of him.

Finally, I whimpered. “I don’t want to go to sleep, Ares,” I whispered, earning a tighter hug from him. “I don’t want to dream.”

Though I meant my words, that still didn’t stop my body from trying to drift off into la-la land. To my surprise I felt Ares lean down to kiss me softly on the forehead right before I drifted off. “Don’t worry, Candy, I’ll make sure that no mean old Mother-in-laws or monsters under the bed get you.”

…

To my surprise—I know, you’d think it weird that somepony who’s related to the mare that controls dreams would be afraid of them—I had one of the more comfortable sleeps of my life; I guess humans made very good beds.

My sleep was so good in fact, that the only thing that kept me from sleeping the day away was the rather loud sound of birds calling right out of my window, like they are known to do really early in the morning. While this didn’t really wake me, what Ares did to try to shut them up did.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Ares roared, all but throwing me off his chest, almost knocking me off the bed. “YOU—“

He stopped, blinking tiredly as I groaned irritably, putting my head in my hooves. “Wait, this isn’t my room…”

With a spell, the room’s blinds were closed, darkening my room again as I looked over at him. “Because you’re not in your bucking room,” I said, yawning before I picked myself back up and made my way to the human’s side, snuggling against him. “You know, I should throw you off the bed. I didn’t like the birds either but did you have to do that?”

Blinking a few more time, Ares looked down at me with guilt. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, Candy, I didn’t mean—“

I patted him on the side while he rolled over to look at me, the human wrapping me in into another hug, me humming in content.

“How was your sleep, Candy?” Ares quietly asked me while he started to play with my feathers.

I let out another happy hum, snuggling closer. “I’m still a bit tired,” I admitted. “If you don’t mind, how about we sleep in a little bit?”

Ares chuckled, patting me on the head. “You get up this early?”

“No, I usually get up earlier to do my mane.”

I guess he couldn’t resist messing my mane up a little more, earning a huff from me while I gave him a shove. “Stop that!”

That just got me another chuckle. “But you look so adorable with bed-head.”

“You’re not the one that has to comb it!”

Ares went quiet after that for a little while, the human continuing to pet me with one hand and fixing one of my wings with another, which made it harder to stay mad at him.

I wiggled closer to him, feeling slightly guilty that I had snapped at my friend, laying a wing on top of him. “…I’m sorry, Ares,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

The human rolled onto his back and picked me up, laying me on his stomach again. “I think you’ve earned the right to give me a few stern talking to’s,” he told me, closing his eyes, a small smile on his face. “You know, if you weren’t married already, people would think I was either your dog or boyfriend.”

I sputtered at that, heat rushing to my cheeks. “W-what are you talking about?!”

Ares looked down at me for a second, his smile getting bigger. “Well, think about it, you let me stay at your house, you feed me, and you take me places when you think I need exercise,” I felt him shrug while I struggled with the rising urge to slap him. “You even let me sleep in the same be—OOF!”

—Thud!

While I did in fact curb my slapping urge, my urge to teleport him off the bed snuck up on me.

Groaning, Ares’s head popped up from the floor, the human looking at me with a scowl. “You know, you’re real funny, you know that?”

With a little giggle, I levitated him back into the bed, once again using him as a teddy bear. “Not as funny as you, my little puppy dog.”

…

When I woke up again I noticed that I was alone in the bed, and for some reason, I couldn’t help but feel oddly lonely.

“Where did Ares go?” I muttered, shaking the blanket off my body and sitting up on the bed and stretching.

I got my answer when the door flew open, revealing Ares, freshly showered and dressed, towing a cart full of food.

When he saw that I was awake he gave me a smile. “I see someone finally woke their ass up!” he said while I yawned, rubbing an eye with a hoof.

“Yeah yeah, shut up,” I muttered, hopping off the bed and walking over to the human, eyeing the food on the cart hungrily. “What time is it and where did you get this food?”

Ares wheeled the food past me toward the table that was in the room, running his fingers through his hair before he pulled up a chair and plopped down. “It’s about nine in the morning and when I took a shower, I saw that this was outside your room,” the human answered me, shoveling food onto a plate.

I nodded walking toward my bathroom. “Alright, I’m going to get ready, don’t eat all of the food,” I told him, closing the door and looking in the mirror, frowning at how poufy my mane looked.

“Horse apples, Ares,” I muttered, turning on the shower and waiting for it to heat up. “This is going to take forever to comb.”

For some reason, as I muttered this, I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of me growing Ares’s hair with a spell just to do the same thing to him.

Since I was now alone with my own thoughts, I couldn’t help but think about what happened the other day, my ears splaying before I shook my head angrily.

No, I thought, grabbing a bar of soap and beginning to scrub myself with it. You’re not going to think about anything other than having a great time with Ares.

Nodding to myself I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of my human friend; there’s not a lot of ponies that would deal with an emotional mare and he really helped me sleep.

It’s almost like he sleeps with ponies all of the time…

I rolled my eyes at the thought, beginning to hum a little tune to myself, leaving my mind to think what the two of us were going to do.

Well, if he’s anything like Shining then he’ll like to—I stopped myself again, frowning and feeling guilty.

“I really should go and talk to him today,” I half-heartedly said, adding after some thought. “Nonono, you promised yourself that you were going to have a little bit of fun today, Cadence. No drama or crying, just some fun!”

With a determined nod I finished my shower and began my morning preparations. It wasn’t until I was halfway through with combing my mane did I hear the human yell, “Candy, are you dead in there?”

Gritting my teeth as the comb snagged a bit on tangled hair, I turned toward the door. “I’m fine, Ares, I’ll be out in a few minutes!”

I heard a groan, which was followed by the sound of a chair being moved. I almost jumped when I heard an impatient knock on the door. “Come on, Candy, you’ve been in there for like an hour!”

I rolled my eyes. “Just wait a few more minutes, you baby.”

“—But I have to peeeee!”

Grumbling, I put my comb down and trotted to the door opening it with a spell to see Ares hopping around like a little foal while he held his crotch.

Before I could get in a word, Ares bolted past me and shoved me out of the bathroom, all but slamming the door in my face.

“You’re such a baby,” I called to him, though that still didn’t keep me from smiling as I made my way to the food cart. “Hurry up and finish so I can keep combing this mess; you have no idea how hard it is to comb your mane and tail when it’s not wet!”

All I got was a happy groan, which made me roll my eyes again as I snagged a stack of pancakes and sat down, digging in.

While I was looking for where Ares had hidden the maple syrup the human opened the bathroom door, a content smile on his face as he made his way over to me with a comb in his hand.

I didn’t even look at him as I finally found the bucking syrup, shouting embarrassingly in triumph while I poured it onto my flat cakes of buttery goodness.

“Ares,” I said while I started cutting my food, not noticing that he was right beside me. “If we’re going to be out the whole day you’re going to have to be better about the whole bathroom thing,” I snorted quietly, shaking my head at having to tell an adult this. “I mean, I don’t want to have to rush you to the bathroom like a five-year-ol—eep!”

My wings flared out in panic as Ares picked me up, sitting in my chair and putting me on his lap while I glared at him in confusion and embarrassment, my cheeks a little more red than I would have liked.

The human looked at my angry expression with confusion. “What?” He showed me the comb in his hand. “I remember you complaining about getting your hair done, and since I’m pretty sure that I can comb your hair faster than you, I say we kill two birds with one stone.”

I opened my mouth to yell at the human but quickly closed it. “…That makes sense, alarmingly enough,” I muttered, wiggling in the human’s lap to get more comfortable while Ares started to gently comb my hair.

I felt the human shrug. “I just don’t want to wait five more hours for you to get ready,” he ignored my irritable snort as I started to dig in. “If you women have such trouble with the fucking stuff, then why don’t you just cut your hair short?”

“Because that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, and I know Twilight,” I said, popping a forkful of food into my mouth.

I bit back a grimace as the human grabbed a handful of my mane and started to all but rip my hair out.

“—Careful!”

Ares grunted. “Why do you think I’m holding your hair there? If your hair was a bit shorter then you wouldn’t have so many knots,” He patted me on the head. “And you’d look adorable with short hair, Candy”

I smacked Ares under the chin with a wing. “If you don’t stop talking nonsense then I’m not going to tell you what we’re doing today,” I tried not to yelp when my tail was grabbed. “Watch those hands when you’re down there, mister!”

The human quietly laughed as he began to comb my tail. “Of course mom, your bits are safe for another day.”

I facehoofed. “Just… just be quiet and hand me that jug of orange juice.”

Ares did as I asked, humming while he worked and I ate, the two of us falling into a comfortable silence.

“So, Candy, I have a question.”

“Hmm?”

“Now you don’t want to deal with all of the nobles and all of that, right?”

I nodded, taking a big gulp of my drink. “Yes, you’re right.”

“So how are we going to go out and not get swamped?”

I stopped eating, a small frown on my face. I honestly hadn’t thought of that.

“Well…” I thought for a few seconds before the proverbial light bulb lit up above my head. “Oh, I know!”

I closed my eyes and charged a spell that Aunty Celestia had taught me when I was little; a simple illusion spell. With a flash my horn was gone and I became a little smaller so I looked more like a normal pony.

Turning to look over my shoulder to look at the shocked human I couldn’t help but grin at him. “Well, how do I look?”

To my amusement, Ares opened his mouth and closed it, one of his hands going to the empty spot on my forehead. “That’s still you, right Candy? You didn’t teleport away and replace yourself with a maid to fuck with me, right?”

Rolling my eyes, I hopped off his lap before he could touch me, taking a few seconds to look over myself. “Yes, it’s me, Ares, I just cast a simple spell so I can go incognito outside,” I frowned. “And of course I’m still me! It’s not like I changed the color of my coat or anything…”

The human blinked owlishly at me before he wrung his hands. “I don’t know about magic!” he said, trying to defend himself while he got out of his chair and started to walk about me.

I huffed while he started to poke at me. “Will you stop that?” I snapped after the tenth poke, Ares ignoring me while he picked me up.

“But you’re so widdle now!” he said in a baby voice, bringing me into a hug. “You’re like a pink Twilight!”

I wiggled out of the human’s grasp, beginning to circle him. “Now, how am I going to make you look normal?” I murmured to myself. “I can’t use the same magic on you… so maybe I can just put horns on you cosmetically so you’ll look like a minotaur…”

Ares—though a usually ‘who gives a horse apple kind of guy—started to squirm uncomfortably after I circled him a few times.

“Um, Candy? You’re not going to do anything…unnatural to me, right?”

The human’s voice brought me out of the deep thought. “Hmm? Oh, you’ll be fine,” I assured, patting his thigh. “Would you do me a favor and sit down? I need to go and grab my make-up kit!”

While I trotted happily toward the bathroom, Ares looked at me with bewilderment. “The fuck you talking about, women?”

…

I know you might think that I’m a Tom-boy of a princess, one that enjoys mountain climbing and fighting bears, but—though I wouldn’t stop you from telling your friends that—I really enjoy the simple things like makeovers and going to the spa.

When I saw younger the maids of the castle got me hooked by painting my hooves and it only escalated as the years went by. Twilight would always look like a little beauty queen whenever I came to baby-sit and Aunty Celestia even had to order the guards to keep me from entering her room some day’s to keep from getting beautified.

Not that any of this was a bad thing—and no, it’s not a bad thing, so stop looking at me like that. I got so good at it that I could probably be paid to do it, which helped when I had to make Ares look like a minotaur.

At first I didn’t think it was possible; the human really didn’t want me to do it and I’m not a made-up artist, but I persevered.

“I feel silly,” Ares muttered as I led him through the city, a big smile on my face as I looked back at him. He looked so adorable with those little horns….

To both of our surprises, my little fixer-upper had worked really well! You only needed to squint a little bit to make the human look like a minotaur, not that anypony in Canterlot would notice.

The big bulls usually came up here to sell their wares, so I’ve seen a few, but like most of the ponies around here, I really haven’t seen enough of them to tell the difference between a human who had a pair of horns glued on his forehead, with a fake nose piercing and some minor body painting.

“Are you sure this is going to work, Candy?” the human asked, scrunching up his face. “The horns I understand, but did you really have to paint my face?”

I giggled. “Stop playing with those horns,” I told him. “You’ll break them. And yes, you needed that paint; what you ever heard of a peach colored minotaur?”

“You never know with this world,” I heard him mutter while he lengthened his stride until he was walking side-by-side with me. “This paint better come off…” He shook his head a little bit, looking down at me.

“So, Candy, you didn’t tell me where we were going.”

“I didn’t,” I agreed, looking innocently at him until he facepalmed.

“Could you fill me in?

I hummed in mock thought. “Welllllll, if you have to know, I’m thinking about taking us to the museum for a little bit and we’ll see where we end up from there,” I looked up at him. “How does that sound?”

He shrugged. “I could go for a little bit of culture,” he told me. “So is this one of those museums where they have dinosaurs, or the ones with just paintings and art and shit like that?”

The two of us ignored some of the ponies gawking angrily at the human for his potty mouth, Ares and I turning off the main street to a less crowded part of the city, the artisan’s district. Why they decided to put a museum there I have no idea, but it was a nice place to relax when there wasn’t some new art exhibit—that was when the nobles came out.

“I don’t know what the hay a dinosaur is,” I told Ares. “But the one I’m taking you to has a little bit of everything.”

The human scratched his chin for a moment. “Candy, I gotta ask you, and don’t take this the wrong way because I really do want to go, but why do you want to go to a museum? Aren’t your Aunt’s thousands of years old? I’m sure they throw history stuff at you all of the time. ”

I snorted in amusement. “My Auntie’s may be old, but they prefer living in the future; besides, if I remember correctly, the new exhibit for one of Saddle Arabian Pharaohs is still there!”

Hours later…

“Hehehe…”

“Shut up, Candy…”

“I will if you let me touch it.”

“You touch it then I’m going to eat you.”

“But you look sooo cute with it on!”

The two of us made our way out of the museum after an hour or two, having looked at pretty much everything that I wanted Ares to see. The museum was fun and all but it was nothing compared to what happened when we stepped out the front doors.

For some reason, and this still makes me smile just thinking about it, a group of fillies had decided to start to play with the ‘big scary bull-thingy’. Long story short, the kids put a top hat on Ares sometime in the middle of this adorableness and he couldn’t take it off, because if he did then the kids might cry.

So here was Ares—who was already dressed up as a brownish/greyish minotaur—looking so adorable that I couldn’t help but try to fly up above him a few times to try to snatch it off his head.

The human looked down at me with nothing less than glowering anger, which was ruined when he had to adjust his new hat. “You leave my hat alone,” he warned. “It’s mine.”

I hip-checked him playfully, giggling like a school-filly. “You’re ridiculous, you—” I stopped in my tracks, squinting at something off in the distance. I nudged the human, sitting down on my rump. “Ares, does that look like anypony we know?” I pointed at a familiar pony who was off in the distance.

The human leaned forward a little bit. “Is that… Purple?” He finally said.

I nodded slowly, standing back up. “Yeah, I think its, Twilight,” I muttered, nudging Ares toward the right side of the street so we weren’t in the middle of it. “I wonder what she’s doing out here all by herself…”

Ares shrugged, making his way toward the bookworm. “Don’t know,” he stuck a thumb at her. “You wanna go say hello?”

I smiled, nodding. It would probably be a good idea to see how she was doing… and, maybe she could tell me how Shiny was doing.

Slowly, we made our way to my sister-in-law, weaving in and out of the crowds, slowing down when we got within shouting distance. We both stopped to look at the little unicorn in confusion, Ares and I staring as we watched her fidget around nervously, looking around like somepony was about to jump out and get her.

Ares leaned down toward me. “What do you think’s wrong with her?” he asked, sounding confused.

I shook my head. “I have no idea,” I admitted. “But we should go over and see—”

I yelped as Ares clamped my mouth shut, the human staring intently at the crowd around Twilight, a small smile on his face.

“No, it can’t be,” he said to himself, ignoring my glare. “Flash, you dog…”

Squatting down to my level, the human pointed, letting go of my muzzle. “Look, Candy, a little to the left of Purple, who do you see?”

Shooting him another dirty look, I complied, muttering to myself, “Why did I have to make myself so short… alright, who are you—” My eyes widened when I finally saw who Ares was talking about. There, making his way toward my sister-in-law on shaky hooves and with a bouquet of roses in his mouth, was Flash Sentry.

“Do you see him?” the human giddily asked, my lips cracking into a big smile while I nodded.

“He must of finally got up the courage to ask her on a date,” I breathed, the two of us moving off the street toward an alley so the two wouldn’t see us. “Ohhhh! They’d look so cute together!”

The two of us were practically hopping in place in happiness. Ares all but picked me up and swung me around in his arms. “I can’t believe he finally did it!” he gushed. “All of that harassment worked!”

He sobered a little, putting me down gently. “He picked a hell of a time though…”

I saw his look and got up on my hind legs, wrapping the human up in a hug. “It’s okay, Ares,” I told him. “You’ve really made me feel better; Twilight needs something to help take her mind off what happened yesterday anyways.”

You should be there making Shining feel better, a voice nagged me in the back of my head, but I was quick to stamp it out. I’ll go see Shiny later, I silently promised to myself, giving Ares a smile despite my dampened mood.

“So you’ve been trying to take my job?” I said in mock anger. “I really don’t know how to feel about that…”

Ares snorted. “You’ve seen how your guard looks at her,” he said, trying to defend himself. “I just gave him a little…push.”

I raised an eyebrow, which the human pointedly ignored, Ares poking his head out from the alley to watch the two.

I was about to tell Ares to quit it and to give the two a little space, but after some thought my head was also poking out from the alley.

…Yes, I know I should have just got Ares and left those two alone, but you weren’t there! You didn’t see how cute Twilight looked when Flash gave her the flowers.

Oh, the blushing!

The two of us made excited noises as we watched the two shuffle around, red-faces and refusing to look at each other. After a minute or two of this, Twilight finally had enough, the mare looking up at the stallion and saying something to him.

My little guard just blushed harder, nodding at my sister-in-law, the two making their way down the street.

Ares nudged me, a big smile still on his face. “Come on, Candy, let’s follow them.”

I frowned at him. “No,” I chastised. “We’re going to do the adult thing and leave them b—eep! Ares, put me down!”

The human’s grip tightened around my barrel while I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, Ares carrying me out of the alley toward the two.

He shushed me, trying to make himself look smaller so Flash and Twilight wouldn’t see us. “Come on, Candy, adventure.”

“Bu—“

“Adventure!”

…

“…So why did you get Flash to take Twilight to the movies first?” I asked, Ares and I sitting in the back of the movie theater still watching my sister-in-law and my guard, Ares munching on popcorn.

The human bopped me in the nose. “Silly, Candy, the better question is how and the hell do you guys have movie theaters?” he chuckled quietly, ignoring the glare he was getting. “Not, that I’m complaining; I’ve always wanted to see a black and white movie like this...” He saw my irritated look, offering me the bag of popcorn.

“Oh, did you want some?”

Shaking my head, I took the bag off of him, catching myself before I was about to use magic on it; ponies might not think anything about a Minotaur in a movie theater, but they might start asking questions if they see a Pegasus using a levitation spell.

Muttering a thank you, I said, “We shouldn’t be stalking them…”

Ares leaned toward me, whispering since the movie was about to start. “We’re not stalking, we’re just seeing if Flashy boy has the skills that pay the bills,” He took the popcorn off of me. “And I told Flash to take her here first because they’ll have something to talk about while they’re eating dinner.”

I looked at Ares in surprise, that was actually pretty smart. “Where did you think of something like that?”

The human shrugged, wiggling around in his seat. “I’ve dated women, one of them was nice enough to help me through a date with her and I’ve kept doing what she told me.”

I smiled while Ares hoofed me a pop. “’You, nervous about something?” I teased. “I can’t even imagine.”

I got nudged for that. “It was my first date, and she was a looker,” he said, and I couldn’t help but notice a hint of red in his cheeks. “Of course I was nervous! Now be quiet and let’s watch this—whatever this is…”

“It’s called Silver Sings,” I corrected, my eyes glued on the big screen. “I’ve wanted to see this movie for weeks; the Crystal Empire really isn’t ready for things like this, so this is the first movie I’ve seen in a while.”

Ares hummed. “So Flashy took ol’ Purple to a chick-flick eh? Well, that’s not too bad, he just needs to stay awake for the whole thing.”

I rolled my eyes, not noticing that I was slightly leaning toward the human so I was pressed lightly against his side. “Alright, Mr. Love doctor,” I said mockingly. “You’ve been helping my guard seduce my sister-in-law, which is fine—Twilight needs a nice stallion in her life—but I have to ask, did you at least help him pick out a good restaurant?”

The human snatched the pop from my hooves, making a big slurp. “You’ll be seeing where they’ll be eating, Mrs. Smarty Pants, cause that’s where we’re going!”

“Will you shut your bucking mouth?” A voice behind us asked, making the two of us jumping slightly in fright. “You can talk to your fillyfriend after the movies, Bull.”

Ares looked back at the stallion, giving him a huge grin. “Hey, buddy, how about I talk to the pretty mare here and you keep blowing your boyfriend back there, how’s that sound, big guy?”

The stallion opened his mouth, then quickly closed it, Ares giving him an air kiss before he looked over to me with an eyebrow raised. “Some ponies, eh, Candy?”

For the rest of the movie, I had to keep my hoof in my mouth to keep from laughing whenever I looked back.

…

You know, for a second there, I thought Ares kind of knew what he was talking about going out with the fairer sex; not at my level of course, but still pretty okay.

That thought was systematically destroyed when I saw where he told Flash Sentry to take Twilight.

“You told him to take her to a diner?!” I quietly screamed at the human, who was calmly sipping an ice tea. “What’s wrong with you?!”

“What do you mean? It’s a place to eat isn’t it?” I demanded, risking a glance at the two, who were across the diner from us. How they hadn’t known it was us was a mystery.

“But it’s a diner!”

Ares looked around shrugging. “I don’t see the problem,” he said simply, making it very hard for me not to cause a scene.

I facehoofed, giving our waitress a smile as she took our orders, me getting some cheese hay fries and Ares getting pasta. “You don’t take a date to a dive like—“ I stopped when I saw a waitress look at us, the mare giving me an ‘I’m going to spit in your food’ look. “You take a date to a nicer place than this,” I finished with a whisper, leaning toward the human.

I just got a small smile. “And I’m guessing that he needs to pay for the dinner too?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose with a hoof, flagging down a mare so she could get me another drink. “What do you think?” I asked exasperated.

The human leaned back in his chair. “I’m making you pay for dinner,” he pointed out, making me stiffen.

“You don’t have any bits!” I thought about it for a few moments. “And this isn’t a date.”

“If you’d pay your guardsmen more he’d probably be able to afford to take her out to a swanky place.”

And now I felt bad, my ears splaying back in slight shame. “He gets paid very well thank you very much…”

Sighing, Ares sat up and leaned toward me. “Tell me, Candy, you’re the princess of love right?”

Ruffling my feathers in annoyance, I nodded.

“Alright, so then, would it really matter if Flash took Purple over there to a five star restaurant if she didn’t like him? I mean, if he had money, would she love him more?”

I blinked. “No.”

The human shrugged again, giving our waitress a big smile as the mare brought out our food, the two of us digging in before he continued. “It’s not where you are when you’re on a date,” he told me. “But if you and your date are having fun!”

He patted a waitress that was walking by on the head in a friendly manner, the mare smiling back at him before she looked at me. “Your coltfriend’s right,” she told me, ignoring Ares’s grin and my sputter. “If the company’s bad, it doesn’t matter where they take ya.”

She leaned forward to whisper into my ear. “I have to ask, how’s that Minotaur in the sack?”

“WHAT!” I roared, my face beet red while almost the whole diner turned to look at us.

The waitress, ignoring all of the stares, tried to prod me more. “Oh come on, we’re adults here!” She looked over her shoulder at them human, giving him a lewd smile, since returned with a wink. “Or is it that you haven’t home-runned him yet?”

“We’re not dating!” I said, controlling my volume this time. Unfortunately, Ares heard me.

“Oh come on, sweetheart,” he said, straight-faced, “There’s no need to be shy.” He scooted closer toward me, with the waitress in between us.

“What do you want to know, Sweetie?” He asked the mare before giving me a look. “Candy here is a little shy.”

The mare looked over me with a critical eye. “Yeah, I can see that…”

“She’s a real screamer in bed, too.”

If I’d been drinking anything, the two would have gotten a little bath, the waitress smiling widely at me indignant mumbles of shock and embarrassment. “I can see that too…”

The mare was about to say more, but a loud cough turned her attention away from us to an annoyed chief. “Oh horse apples, I need to get back to work!” She gave the two of us a smile. “You two have fun on your date!”

Ares bit his knuckle hard as I threw him the glariest glare that I could muster. “If we weren’t in public I’d be beating your flank right about now,” I mumbled, my leg shooting out to kick the human’s knee, Ares’s eyes bugging out in pain for a few seconds. “But I guess that’ll have to do.”

Rubbing his knee tenderly, but with a huge grin on his face, Ares took a few more bites of his food. “I’m such a bastard,” he said, sounding terribly proud.

Grumbling, I eat more of my hay fries. “You’re a bucker too.”

He tsked me, leaning over to pat my head, which I took with all of the grace a princess should—namely, attempting to swat his hand off his arm. “It’s your own fault that you’re so thin-skinned.”

I was about to tell the human where he could shove his thin skin, when I heard somepony clear their throat, the two of us turning toward the pony who I feared would notice us, Twilight.

It took all of my willpower to keep my composure as the mare cleared her throat, turning to look at Ares. “Excuse me, Sir,” he politely said. “I don’t mean to do rude, but are you a Minotaur?”

Without batting an eye the human answered, adopting one of the worst Coltland accent I have ever heard. “Yep lass,” he said before he took a sip of his drink. “What kan I dure fur yer?”

Twilight blinked at the accent, giving him a big smile. “Well Mr.—“

“Longhorn lass,” the human said, stroking a mustache…that he got from somewhere…

I really need to talk to him about that…

“I really hate to take you away from your date,” Twilight said apologetically, giving me a smile. “But you aren’t like any kind of Minotaur I’ve ever seen.”

Oh buck, I thought to myself, internally panicking. She’s going to catch us! Quickly, I made sure my illusion spell was still working properly while I gave my sister-in-law a smile.

Ares, still cool as a cucumber, nodded and tipped his hat to her. “Aye, lass, yer correct in yer assumption, I’m a bit different from miah kin,” he nudged his head toward where Flash Sentry was sitting, the stallion looking nervously at his food. “But yer might wanna look after yer boy there instead of asking me questions.”

To my surprise, Twilight blushed hard at that, looking down at her hooves before muttering, “We’re just going out on a date…”

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, I threw my two bits in, saying, “Well, Dear, that stallion seems nice.”

Ares nodded. “Aye, you two haven’t kept yer eyes off each other since ye got here.”

The unicorn blushed harder, squirming under our gaze uncomfortably. “W-Well, t-thank you, I’ve been having a g-great time with him t-today.”

The two of use smiled at that, the human nudging his thumb back toward Flash. “Then ya better get back to yer date, aye lass?”

Adorably flustered, Twilight nodded, mumbling something under her breathe as she made her way back to her table. Ares and I cooed when the two caught each other’s gazes, their eyes lightening up in that lovey-dovey way that just made you smile.

Ares nudged me. “Did you see what I did there, Candy?” he asked me, making me roll my eyes. “Am I the greatest, or am I the greatest?”

Eating the last of my food, I waved our waitress over, asking her for the check. “Yes, yes, Ares, you’re the best at horrible accents,” I said with sarcasm, getting a chuckle from the human. “How didn’t she know it was us?”

Ares shrugged, smiling at our waitress as I handed her a bag of bits, the two of us getting up and making our way out the door. “Maybe you’re really good at making disguises and I’m just awesome at my fuckery?”

I smiled, looking up at the sun—which was about to set—before muttering. “Yeah, that’s probably it.”

Mine and the human’s smiles grew as we started to make our way back toward the castle.

Ares finally broke our little bout of silence by saying, “Well, it looks like our day was a smashing success.” He nodded to himself as I looked up at him. “Yep, we had a fun day and Purple and Flashy can’t keep their eyes off each other.”

“All thanks to a monkey Minotaur that works in the shadows,” I said with a snicker. “I couldn’t have done a better job myself!”

For some reason, it kind of hurt when I said that, and it must have shown on my face, because Ares gave me a sad smile, nudging me. “Hey, how about we see if Purple lets Flash get to tier fifteen tonight.”

A few minutes later…

You know, being an alicorn who is also a very good flyer, I’ve never feared heights, but I can understand why other ponies that can’t fly would. Just think about it, falling and knowing that there’s no way to stop yourself so you’re just watching as you come closer and closer to the ground.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds terrifying to me.

So I naturally found it odd that Ares wanted to wait for Twilight and Flash to come back from their date on the roof of the castle.

“Why are we hiding up here again, Ares?” I asked the human, Ares looking up at the night sky as he laid on the roof.

“Luna does make a pretty night…” he muttered to himself before to pointed to one of the doors that we were adjacent to; Twilight’s room if I remembered correctly.

“That’s Purple’s room, i.e. where Flash is going to walk her to and where the magic is hopefully going to happen,” he told me as I sat down carefully on the slanted roof carefully, warily eyeing the edge. “We’re here, Candy, because these are front row seats.”

“We could have picked a safer place to be.”

The human shrugged, shivering slightly when the wind started to pick up. “You’ll catch me if I fall, won’t ya, Candy?”

He sat up to look at me with an eyebrow raised, me shaking my head and wrapping a wing around him so he wouldn’t catch a cold. “The fall isn’t that bad,” I told him jokingly. “If you fall, you’ll live.”

He nudged me, scooting closer to the edge so his legs were dangling, which made me try to force him back away from it. “Do you want me to test your theory there, Candy?”

He gave me a look that made me panic slightly. Stomping a hoof, I said, “Ares, get back from that edge right now!”

That only made his smile grow. “My lifestyle determines my deathstyle, Candy.”

When he leaned slightly off the edge I squeaked in panic, my wing tightening around the human’s body so he wouldn’t fall.

“Stop doing that!” I demanded, which got me a pat on the cheek.

“I’ll be fine, Cadence, just calm down and let’s stake these two out.”

Putting a spell on the edge of the roof that would keep the two of us from falling off, I snorted softly. “We should be getting ready for bed, not waiting for those two.”

Ares started to kick his feet in the air. “Aw, I thought you’d love something like this!”

My shoulders sagged slightly as I leaned against the human. “You can’t control something like this, Ares,” I told him. “If Twilight and Flash are meant to be they’re meant to be; anypony that tries to do anything will only hurt their chances.... And how do you know if we'll even hear them from up here?”

Ares nodded, humming. “We’re not really doing anything, Candy,” he said, “We’re just enjoying the night sky. If we happen to see anything weeellllll…”

I snorted softly--snatching Ares's hat off of him when he wasn’t looking and placed it on my head--and the two of us drifted off into silence for what seemed like hours, the only sounds were the crickets chirping.

“You know, Candy,” Ares finally said, looking up in the sky. “whether you think so or not, your boy Betty’s lucky to have you,” he didn’t see my look as he continued. “And I’m sure that you’ll fix all of the bullshit that’s going on between the two of you.”

I blinked back tears, nodding weakly. “Yep, I’m sure that I can fix this,” I muttered, not noticing that Ares was looking at me with concern. “I can get Shiny’s mom to love me, I can fix up everything, and, a-and—“

I sniffled, closing my eyes I leaned more on the human as he wrapped arm around me.

“Heyheyhey,” he said gently, wiping the tears out of my eyes with a hand. “You’re the Princess of Love, and I believe in you, Candy, so there’s no need to break out the waterworks.”

A warmth filled my chest—despite how horrible I was feeling—as I looked up to smile at the human, putting my head on his shoulder with a sniffle. “I just don’t know anymore, Ares,” I whispered. “I’m just starting to think that it’d be easier to just let Shiny go and get a better mare.”

I chuckled darkly when I saw his expression. “Some Princess of Love I am right?”

“Don’t put yourself down like that, Cadence,” he said seriously, me giving him a sad nuzzle as sadness started to fill me.

“He should go and find a normal, nice mare so he doesn’t have to deal with all of this,” I waved a hoof around. “He’ll have a happy mother, he can go back to being Aunty Celestia’s captain of the guard, and, if I really can’t give him kids, then he won’t have to live with a barren mare.”

I looked over at the human, feeling horrible that I had just unleashed all of that on him, and, judging by the various emotions that were raging on his face, I might have vented a little too much.

Before I could apologize, the human took a deep breathe while he looked at me. “Cadence,” he said calmly. “Whatever you think, you’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met, and whatever bad stuff that comes with you, would be a piss in the bucket when you compare it to all of the good stuff that comes with you.”

For some reason, I was blushing hard as Ares continued, the human looking up at the sky again. “Even if his mother hates your guts—hell, even if you can’t give him kids—Shining’s a lucky guy to get to say that he’s married to someone like you.”

He coughed, his back becoming red when he realized what he had said. “Or at least that’s what I think.”

I wrapped a hoof around the human’s shoulder, a big smile on my face despite my tears. “That was really sweet, Ares,” I whispered. “Thank you.”

I felt the human’s grip tighten around me as he looked down to give me a smile; for some reason though, it didn’t really look that happy. “What are friends for?”

I was about to say more when I heard a pair of hooves clopping down the stone hallway, Flash and Twilight appearing in our field of view a few moment later.

“I had a really great time today, Flash,” Twilight, who was rather close to the stallion, to my amusement and delight, said.

The stallion looked away from her, a blush making its way across his face. “Er, t-thanks, Twilight,” I heard the stallion say as he walked her to her door. “I had a great time, too.”

Twilight opened her door, turning back toward the stallion, the two refusing to meet each other’s gaze.

I frowned slightly, concentrating a spell for a moment, two little hearts shot out of my horn and slowly drifted down toward the two, connecting.

My little spell gave Twilight all of the courage that she needed. Quicker than I could see, she leaned over and gave the stallion a quick peck on the cheek, her eyes widening hugely and her face exploding in red.

“WellIhadareallynicetimeandIthinkweshoulddoitagainbutIreallyneedtosleepsobye!” The mare said a mile a minute in embarrassment before slamming the door in Flash’s face.

The stallion stared at the door for a few seconds before he touched the spot that Twilight kissed with a hoof.

Ares and I watched in amusement as the stallion slowly turned and started down the hall, clicking his hooves together before she started to whistle a happy tune.

Grinning, Ares rose. “Young love, huh?” he asked, stretching. “Well, now that that’s done, how about we hit the hay, Candy? I’m pooped.”

Nodding, I also got up, and we started to carefully make our way along the rooftop. “Yeah, I could use some sleep,” I admitted. “Today was pretty fun, but it was exhausting.”

Looking up at Ares fondly, I added, “And really, thank you, Ares, for helping me feel better.” I looked down, that funny feeling welling up inside me again as I forgot about everything that I promised to do today.

“Hey, Ares,” I all but whispered, the human looking back at me. “Could you do me a favor and… spend another night with me?” When I saw the human’s face become unreadable I added quickly, “Um, I mean, you don’t have to and—“

“I’ll stay with you another night if you want, Cadence,” Ares quietly, and, for some reason, emotionlessly, told me.

A bit of worry started to eat at me. “Are you sure? I don’t want it to be weird or anything…”

Ares waved that away. “I don’t think it’s weird, Candy, it’s just between friends, right?”

Smiling, I trotted past him, Ares giving me a sad look that I didn’t see before he followed.

Later that night…

Ares looked up at the ceiling, his mind racing as Cadence snored quietly, the pink alicorn subconsciously wiggling closer to his side with a little smile on her face.

Many emotions gripped the human, confusion, hurt, guilt, and even a little anger, but what spurned him most was another emotion, one that he pointedly refused to recognize.

At least that’s what he thought to himself.

Finally, Ares looked down at the alicorn, pain in his eyes as he muttered, “I couldn’t have just gone up and fucked Luna,” he snorted angrily. “Hell, Celestia would probably go out with me if I asked, but no—“

He stopped when he saw her shiver slightly. Shaking his head, he covered Cadence with the blanket that she had tried to kick off.

It felt like someone was twisting a knife in his heart when she sighed happily, her grip on him tightening. Hugging her back and with tears starting to form, Ares, the very sad and very confused human, leaned down and gave Cadence a light kiss on the forehead.

“—No, it fucking had to be you…”

With a final sad sigh and a prayer that Luna wouldn’t be messing with his dreams, the human finally drifted off to sleep.

Author's Notes:

Dun Dun Duuuuunnnnn!

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...Or something like that...