I looked around the gardens guiltily, just waiting for a patrol to come out of no where and catch me. I clutched a few items to my chest protectively, running up to the palace as quickly as I could. I used a few well-placed statues to hide my form from prying eyes, not that many would be able to see in the waning evening light.

I finally made it to the palace itself, where I quickly chose a spot on the wall, pulling out a brush and a bag of red pigment. I started my work, quickly brushing out the letters I needed. I was a nervous wreck, the thought of getting caught hanging heavily on my mind. I forced myself to finish the job, however. I was no half-ass. Finally, I put the last, snaking letter up, and turned to leave.

At which point a hoof landed upon my shoulder, causing me to flinch and yelp as a massive unicorn stallion in guard armor gave me a stern expression. I could see another, smaller guard behind him.

"What's this then?" The guard said in a no-nonsense tone, "Equestes Avere Aversa Soles? The ponies they call Equestrians to hail butt of suns?"

"I-I-It says Equestrians hail Sunbutt!" I replied shakily.

"No it doesn't. What's latin for Equestrian?"

I sat there thinking, while the guard gave an unamused snort and pulled my hair up with his magic.

"Equestus?"

"Goes like?"

"Annus?"

"Vocative plural of annus is?"

"Anni?"

"Equstri..." The guard said slowly, crossing out the offending letters that I had written and replacing them with an 'i'. "Avera? What is Avera?"

"Hail, I-"

"Conjugate the verb Hail." The guard said, twirling my brush in his magic.

"Uh... aveō, avēs, avet, avēmus, avētis, avent"

"But 'Equestrians hail sunbutt' is an order, so you must use the...?"

"Uhh, imperative!"

"Which is?" He pulled harder on my hair, causing my to cry out.

"Uhh... Avet! Avet!"

"How many Equestrians"

"Uhh.... I... Plural, plural! Ave!"

The guard once again crossed out my offending latin, replacing it with the correct verb form.

"Aversa Soles?"

"Uhh.."

"This is completely wrong. Soles is..."

"Sun-"

The guard unseathed the sword at his hip, bringing it up to my neck

"AHHH! Suns, suns. It's plural.So the singular is?"

"Sole! SOLE!"

"GOOD! And Aversa?"

"It's butt."

"So the butt owns the sun, Come on, boy, what noun holds the power here?"

"Sun! it's Sole Aversa! SOLE AVERSA!"

"So, you understand?" The guard sheathed his sword as he corrected my writing."

"Yes, sir."

"Now, write it out a hundred times."

"Yes, sir, thank you sir. Hail Celestia, sir."

"Hail Celestia, and if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off."

I knew that that was a real threat here, so I hurried to start my work.

Morning found me tired, exhausted, and putting the finishing touches on a period.

"Finished!" I called down to the massive stallion below me."

"Good! Now don't do it again!" He called up, before wandering away.

I climbed down from my ladder, and looked upon my handiwork with sleep-stained eyes. The whole of Canterlot Palace was covered in the words 'Equesti Ave Sole Aversa' in differing sizes, and in a bright, contrasting red. I smiled, proud of myself.

"He did it! get him!" I heard from over my shoulder.

"Oh, shit!" I ran for all I was worth.

Celestia rubbed her eyes as she looked upon her graffitied palace, barely able to comprehend. Luna walked up bhind her, gazing too at the palace.

"Equestrians hail sunn butt?" Luna asked questioningly. "TIA! Since when did you get a cult! I thought we promised fifteen hundred years ago that we would not be the center of any cults. You broke sister rule number four hundred and seventy-seven!"

Celestia just looked at her flank, poking it once, before facehoofing and walking back insside.

"It's too early for this shit."

Author's Notes:

Hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it! Props to Dan_S Comments for the idea.