Author's Notes:

If anybody can tell me how to correctly put a YouTube video on here, I'll give you all M16s during the next Hearth Warming Eve! insurance not included

I woke up to the sunlight going through a window above us in my face. I still find Twilight sleeping soundly and peacefully to me with her head on my left chest area like a pillow under my arm. I slept with just my jeans and black T-shirt on because I was too damn tired and lazy to take them off over the blankets, the heater was on anyway.

I remember before we slept, we heard Brick talking to Roland about a dispute between some guy getting his skull crushed with Brick's bare hands (honestly, we don't care) in the command center. Despite the arguing, Lilith and Mordecai managed to make them get along and everyone went to sleep happily ever fucking after... the end, let's get on with our lives.

Aaaany way, we took out a lot out of Jack's army, so Roland decided that everyone should take the day off and rest for the next day's mission.

I silently yawned to not disturb Twilight. I stroked her mane so it went behind her left ear and out of her face to reveal the real sleeping beauty she is in the yellow glow of the natural light. I kissed her horn and gently moved my body side ways towards the right until her head was off my chest. I tilted my torso area up and moved my whole body ninety degrees to the right so I had my legs off the bed and "Ow, fuck me up the asshole!" my back still hurts.

Before I could get up, I felt a force around my right stomach pulling me back. I made a whole one-eighty to get a good look at her and yes, she's awake. She was laying down on her belly with fore legs holding her head up and hind legs pointing up and going back and forth alternatively. Before I could make a flirtatious comment, I lost myself in those shiny, half-lit, violet eyes that I never get tired of while she looked back. Without making a sound, I slowly made my way to her face and made a small, side ways lip-grab on her lips while Twilight puts a hoof around my head to pull my face in even closer for a kiss back. We closed our eyes on contact. As we kept kissing each other, we raised our heads vertically until we were able to hug around each others' backs.

While we were still kissing, out of lust, she used her fore hooves pick me up, toss me around herself, and pin me back onto the bed with her on top.

"Damn, she's strong.", I loved her too much not to care though, my only care right now is her; my well being is of no concern to me.

Faint sounds of moans of pleasure erupted from us just as we continued to slid our tongues against one another. She put a right fore hoof under my shirt to touch the left side of my lower torso area, she slowly moved her hoof up to my left rib cage while she had a left fore hoof on my right shoulder.

While she had her stomach on my front torso, I had my left hand touching the back of her head while I had my right on her lower back. I slowly made my way to her the top of her left rump and touched her cutie mark in the process with my lower palm, her moan grew a little louder in response. She broke the kiss and opened her eyes to hypnotize me yet again with her warming smile. I was unaware that Twilight used her left fore hoof to take my right hand, and pulled it so it was just touching the mouth of her pussy.

She put her lowered her head next to my right ear and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, "Well what are you waiting for? Fuck me."

My dick seriously hardened so much that it kinda hurt in my jeans, but I knew the "main course" was going to take it all away.

I made a face expression that said, "My pleasure.", before I used my middle finger to touch and trace along the lips of the mouth of the pussy.

I made a thought, "Hmm better check on the door, what if someone walks in?", I looked at the door before Twilight's TK on her right fore hoof sent massages of pleasure through my neck, "You crazy superego? I don't want to leave her physical presence for a second, maybe later..."

Twilight interrupted by lifting the part of my shirt to get it over her head and lick at my belly from bottom to chest plate.

"or never, muahaha.", god my id is crazy, anyway after I made a couple runs around her pussy with my middle, I did a figure-eight run around her pussy and anus to make it to the finish line: her pussy.

"Enough Teasing", considering the hard nails on my fingers, I made an insulting middle finger before I carefully encircled inside walls of her pussy to get it lubricated. I used the fluid on my middle finger to get the fluid on the rest of my fingers before I inserted my lone middle finger in half way into her.

"Oh fuck!", she responded with the same volume as before, as she licked my left nipple then sucking on it like a baby sucking a bottle under the thin t-shirt I had. I don't know how she does it, she somehow manages to make every part of my body a pleasure center.

"Oh ho ho ho.", I spewed out faintly before I put my lone middle finger all the way it could go in her.

She let go of my nipple and gasped out in response, "We won't need this anymore.", before she used her magic to take the t-shirt over my head and off it went.

"Is that all you fucking got?", she said with an determined smile and pair of piercing eyes, she knew I loved it when she does stuff like that. I responded with an evil-looking grin and chuckle before I took all of my wet, four fingers and rammed all into the pussy all the way until it ate them whole.

"Oh! faster Blake."

"Yes my love.", I responded with repeating strokes in her uterus, I can hear the sounds of squishiness as the intense interior moist heat warmed my cold, aching fingers: making the blood flow quicker and thus making my strokes faster.

"Fuck Blake."

Suddenly she reached over to her rear with a left hoof and did a harmless wrist grip on my intruding hand as it made an exit.

"Let save that for the main course.", she said as she slid her right fore hoof, from my right neck, along my front torso and to my pants where she unbuttoned it. She used her magic to slide it off my legs to reveal my loose boxers and the obvious boner sticking under it, begging for attention.

"Holy shit.", was what I said before she took my boxers in her magic and completely took it off with her teeth.

Sitting right by my legs, "hold still."

"Yes ma'm", god it's so hot when she's in control and she knows it.

She shot some magic at my wrists and tied each hand to two adjacent bed posts. Twilight shot more magic this time at my ankles and did the same for the two opposing, adjacent bed posts, spreading my legs out.

With all my limbs spread out and my head on the pillow, "Twilight I..."

before I could say anymore, she put a magic gag in my mouth. She used a hind hoof to get herself over one of my legs to get in the center. She crawled onto my crotch and put a fore hoof on my chin,

"Let me do the talking, now since you can't move, I get to do whatever I want to do to you.", she put her other fore hoof over her mouth and giggled after saying it in a hypnotic tone.

"Yes master!", Oh satan, I am fucking loving this.

She sat her ass my crotch just so the penis was parallel with her slit and touching, but not inserted.

"Of Grer (Oh god)!", I moaned out in intense pleasure and urge to ram that dick up her asshole.

"You have no idea how horny I am right now...", she said while doing a hot-ass belly dance on me.

"Someone shoot me in the face!", (mind the reference) I thought as I was drowning in excitement.

"I am going to fuck you so hard...", she said before putting her fore hooves on my chest to lift her rump up.

As soon as she aimed her vagina at my elongated member, "...oh not in here this time..."

My excitement exponentiated as soon as I predicted where this was going to go.

My eyes widened a bit "She..."

"...in the back door.", she said right when her tail hole was then pointed directly at my bulging hose, interrupting the thought.

"...just read my mind, you naughty girl.", my eye lids went back to their hypnotized position when I finished my thought.

All was silent until I felt a wave of unbelievable relief and pleasure coming from my crotch, extending all the way to the ends of my limbs, causing my limbs to contract on the ropes and eyes to shut tight. I don't know how to explain this feeling other than it just seemed gripped all the walls on my penis. It wasn't better or worse than vaginal but different; it was like finishing a juicy-ass-fuck apple then going to a creamy banana: you can't compare the two at least in my opinion. All combined with bondage just makes it just... wow. To put in context, it felt fucking good.

"Oh!", she orgasmed as faintly as possible to get just a faint echo in the room back when the dick was a quarter-of-the-way in her ass.

"Howy hit(Holy shit)!", I said.

"This calls for music.", she said, using her magic to get her ECHO from the top drawer and connecting it with a speaker on top of it

Disturbed: Prayer

"Huh? Where did she get tha- oh whohohohoho cares!", she lifted her ass and went back in a little deeper, after my surprise of her choice of music.

For every three beats to the beginning of the song she went in more and more until it was three-fourths of the way in.

I couldn't take it any more any longer and I felt it coming, "I 'ho' want your 'ah'...", she wrapped a hoof around my head and pulled it up to her face while she kept her rate of strokes, "seed inside my 'oh' ass my 'gah' slave, you hear me? In my fucking asshole!", she accidentally yelled out

The gag in my mouth disappeared, "'Woo' Yes master, oh go-mph!", she interrupted me by kissing me hard on the lips before going all in by slamming hard on my crotch, it was a near-perfect match with her colon, I found out when I felt the end of it

I couldn't take it anymore: In what felt like slow motion, I felt the first of the steamy hot paste shoot out into her rectum. The properties of the cum made the walls in her ass slippery and sticky at the same time which intensified the pleasure I was getting.

She gave her last stroke and stopped with the dick and seed still all inside her.

"It was a pleasure serving you my princess.", I said when the straps vanished, freeing me.

"Now I want you to do one last thing my slave.", she said before lifting her rum and freeing my dick but most of the semen that was produced was kept locked away in her loaded colon.

"I'll obey anything for my love.", I responded before she got off my chest and between my spread-out legs. Twilight was now standing with all four legs on the bed, with the rear facing my direction, her tail was still raised for my eyes to feast upon her two openings.

She turned her head so just so her eyes can look at me, "I want you clean out the gutter, if you know what I mean.", she giggled.

"No questions asked master Sparkle", I sat on my folded knees on the bed and did a Japanese bow. I stood up on my knees so my still-lubricated erection was pointed directly at her pussy.

"Now if do this just right I can... OH GOD, that never gets old", I thought as I rammed my dick into her juicy pussy.

She orgasmed when I pushed my erection gently against the thin wall that separated her ass from her pussy and,

"YES, it worked!", I thought when I saw the cum being squeezed out of her anus.

"Let me 'phew' assist you.", I can feel her bowel movements squeeze most of the cum out while she bit her bottom lip doing so.

Right after she squeezed out the last out on my dick I stopped pounding her for a moment with the dick halfway inside her.

"I 'pant' think 'pant' have a little left in me, 'whew' want it?'", I spoke panting

"I want it all slave, every last drop, I want more of your Asian heritage inside of me, I want you to complete us.", I laughed in response

"Yes my love.", right when another song came up

Breaking Benjamin- Dance with the Devil

When the song began I went softly but fast, during the climax of the song, I went in slower but I pounded her harder.

"'oh' 'oh' 'oh', I think I am about to give in.", I said as I felt the last of the fluid move through my productive organs.

"Don't stop 'oh' fucking, I know 'ah' you want to!"

"I'll 'oh' never 'whew' give up on you 'ah' my love, never!", I said with determination before the fluid shot from my penis and into her womb.

"Ah! Yes 'ooh' deeper, let your master hug you."

"Oh yes, I forgot she can... HOLY SHIT!", the walls of her vagina constricted the cock thus catching me off guard in an intense wave of pleasure.

"Now 'oh' we are complete, 'pant' nothing can stop us 'oof' now." Simultaneously we both collapsed from fucking each other so much right when the song ended, the room was again silent.

With me on my fallen back and still erect."I 'pant' love you."

Twilight crawled up to my side to put a fore hoof on my cheek, "I love you 'pant' too."

We closed our eyes and kissed. Our tongues once again slid past another to feel the other's teeth. We then parted lips to get ourselves off the bed in front of the open bathroom door.

Standing side by side I spoke: "Let's get cleaned up."

Twilight jumped up a bit to wrap her fore appendages around my neck, "Together", she added.

"Together", I spoke back then we made out all the way towards the generic bathtub/shower

In the bathroom, we made a mess from spilling water everywhere by making out constantly in the full bathtub and of course Twilight played this song in there.

Breaking Benjamin - Diary of Jane

We were too tired to fuck each other but Twilight was able to touch and align my penis with her slit again by sitting on top of my crotch.

After a couple moans and groans of pleasure, Twilight was the first to break the kiss when the song ended.

I looked into her eyes and spoke: "Since when did you like hard rock?"

She giggled, "After I soon realized how stupid musicals were, I got a nice taste on the boat here."

"You got some serious balls you know that?", I complimented.

"They have had to get out sooner or later.", she said before I laughed a little.

"I love you Twilight."

"I love you too Blake."

Twilight's ECHO played another song,

http://youtu.be/c-lF0eF4XP8

before we went right back to kissing.

After thirty minutes of drying off and putting on the clothes we wore last battle: we were deciding what gear we wanted to carry around.

Upon getting a Dahl Rhino:

Twilight put all six rounds in it with a speed reloader and spun the cylinder before pistol whipping it into her ankle holster.

She spoke: "We should just travel light: carry a pistol, our blades, gadgets, and of course a shit ton of ammo"

I loaded a magazine into my Slowinski:

"Good idea, we probably won't be running into too much trouble today, but you never know.", I said before I pulled the top part back. The gun was small so I put it up my baggy sleeve for easy access.

We both heard my stomach rumble from hunger.

"Hungry?", she said.

"As ever, where's there to eat around here anyways?"

During the whole trip to Moxxis's I wore my black wardrobe with the hood over my head while Twilight had her black demon star robe with a silk japanese kasa on top keep ourselves low profile and anonymous as always from our "fans" and of course give a symbol of "Don't fuck with us!".

I kept my tomahawk in my digital inventory with my bowie knife in my shoulder holster, while Twilight had her katana on her belt over her robe, tanto on the ankle opposite of where her rhino revolver is holstered, and hand fan gadget in her pony tail; The rest of our gadgets and tools were in our digital inventories.

We stopped in front of the neon sign that said 'Moxxxis's'.

"Are you sure this is a restaurant? Your not setting us up for a strip club are you?.", Twilight joked.

"No,", I brought up the holographic map, "It says it is right here and Jesus Christ I hope it isn't actually a strip club or some sort of sex trafficking.", I joked back then we both laughed.

"It is the only restaurant in Sanctuary, so what can go wrong?"

"Wub wub wub, wub wub wub, OH hay guys waas up, I didn't expect you guys here with all your limbs.", Claptrap yelled behind a podium as soon as he saw us enter the building. I took off my hood while Twilight pushed back her kasa so it was on her pony tail. Claptrap wore a hat with three holographic 'X's on it on his head.

"Nice way to start off conversation right before we EAT!", I said sarcastically, before I calmed down quickly, "Aanyway you got a job?".

"Yep, my friend Moxxi over there...", he pointed to a lady tending a bar on our left hand/hoof side, "...gave me a nice minimun wage job and a place to stay with my good old pal Hammerlock."

Twilight snickered with a sarcastic response: "Yeah he sure is happy to stay with you.", she turned her head left to the only two slot machines in the restaurant, "You have slot machines here as well?"

"Yep go ahead and blow your lifesavings, unless you are under 18."

"Really?!", I was unfortunately 17, Twilight laughed me.

"Nah, I am just fucking with you, this is Pandora after all."

"Grrr, of course!", Twilight giggled in response.

"You have a funny rage voice you know that?".

"Guess I do.", I quickly calmed down from Twilight's seductive voice.

I was the first to go up to the machine, I pulled down the lever on the side and off the machine went and my $7000 dollars (we had $200,000 each to spend by the way), It stopped spinning on two cherries and a Moxxi symbol to open the bottom drawer opened to reveal a

"Are you kidding me?", I said as I lifted the derringer:

I looked to the slot machine on my right occupied by Twilight, she got three cherries and the side opened up.

"Is that a AMS?":

Twilight greedily grabbed it with her hooves and opened the chamber; thankfully the guns were empty and we had to find and/or buy our own ammunition.

"I think mine's broken.", I said opening my derringer

"You don't say..", she said looking down the 8x scope.

"Well second time's a charm.", I said pulling down the lever again.

It landed on three psycho head and said, "BOOM TIME!"

"Huh?", the drawer opened to reveal a familiar object.

BOOM!, it exploded in my face but luckily it only made my face black.

I made fun of my own misfortune by saying, "Once you go black, you never go back."

"Does that count if your chinese?", she said after laughing.

"Now we are both racist.", we laughed again, "Don't use these machines, they get you with beginner's..."

"Oh fuck yeah!"

"What?", I looked at her machine to see that she got three Moxxi symbols and some kind of battle rifle in her fore hooves.

"What is it?", I said.

She looked at the tag, "A DEM Joun."

"Holy shit, it is a plasma rifle."

"Are you serious? Let me see that machine.", I said.

"Sure."

"Why do these 'cough' machines hate me?", I said, covered in soot from getting yet another set of three psycho heads.

"Yeah I gotta a...", she looked at the tag, "...Turcotte"

"All this losing is making me hungry, lets go eat, but first I gotta clean up first, obviously.", Twilight laughed.

"Sure, I'll get a table ready.", I went to the bathroom next to the bar while Twilight went up to the podium

Twilight put the guns in her digital inventory and if we had ammunition that fit the guns, it will automatically load the guns.

"Hey soldier Twilight, how you doing?", Roland spoke when he and Lilith came in.

"You guys are going to eat here?".

"We sure are, where's your boyfriend?", Lilith spoke.

"He's in the bathroom, he had an... "interesting" time with the slot machines."

"I assume that he lost a lot of money now then huh? What about you?"

"Oh well I won a .50 cal bolt action sniper, a plasma rifle, and a nice-ass SMG."

"We had a similar experience when we first came here.", Lilith laughed in response.

I came back with me rubbing a towel on my face, "Hey guys didn't expect you here!", I said putting the towel away.

"Really? This is the only restaurant in Sanctuary", Lilith said.

"So you guys dating?"

"I uh, guess you can call it a date, what about you two?", Roland said.

"I guess so too.", Twilight paused, "Oh who are we shitting, we are fucking dating", Twilight joked before jumping up and making a brief seductive kiss on my lips.

They chuckled and grabbing each other by the shoulder.

"Aw!", they said simultaneously.

After Twilight broke the kiss, I spoke: "Well it is nice to see you guys trying again for a change."

"We'll see how it goes, but you guys want to do a table for two couples?"

"Sure!"

"Table, booth, or stripper pole?", Claptrap joked.

"Um, booth?", I said.

"Right this way!"

We sat at a booth that sat in between the other entrance and the bar, Lilith and Roland faced the entrance while both me and Twilight faced the bar.

Claptrap was just done giving us holographic menus, "My good old friend Sir Hammerlock will be right with you. Mind the bloody puddles after the bar fights!"

"He works here?", I said.

"Why am I not surprised?", Twilight said rhetorically.

"Brick told me all about your last battle with Handsome Jack army, nice job.", Roland said.

"I couldn't do it without Twilight's kill count, don't fuck with her.".

"Oh I am not that good.", Twilight blushed.

"You kidding? She has a double black belt in martial arts, and never misses a shot with her sniper."

"But what about you Blake, you are much as a good killer as me, I couldn't do everything without your leader ship and support from your machines."

"I love you so much you know that?"

"No shit.", she said jokingly then pulled my head in to kiss me.

When Lilith and Roland both smiled whole-heartedly at me, I came up with a thought, "Aren't you guys going to kiss too? I am kinda embarrassed to be the only one to kiss a girl.".

Roland and Lilith blushed and looked away from each other a bit."Well, hehe you see..."

Twilight interrupted Roland, "Just forget everything and kiss, you guys seem perfect for one another."

Lilith spoke to Roland, "You want to... you know, I'm sorry for everyth-"

Roland sighed, "No don't I shouldn't have shrugged you off like that, I-"

"AHEM!"

We dropped our drama and turned to the waiter aka Sir Hammerlock who wore a three 'X' hat like Claptrap.

"Oh hey Sir Hammerlock, how's things?", Twilight said.

"Good news: I got a job, bad news..."

"Claptrap related news?", I interrupted

"Pretty much, how's things on your end vault hunter?", he said with a depressed tone.

"Great, I should be since I got the greatest girlfriend anyone/pony can ask for and a one-way ticket to the best place in the multiverse: Equestria.", Twilight looked at me and I kissed her briefly.

"And you two?", Hammerlock said to Lilith and Roland.

Roland spoke: "Great until SOMEONE ruined the moment, but I guess it can wait."

"So anything you like to drink for starters?", Sir Hammerlock said.

"A shot of vodka.", Roland said.

"A shot of Jack Daniels.", Lilith said.

"Um.", slightly embarrassed by my upcoming choice, "A large vanilla shake...", (Don't judge).

Lilith and Roland looked at me with raised brows,

"...uh", fuck you peer pressure, just fuck everything, "...mixed in with the toughest mother fucking martini you've got!" (Now you an judge me), pretending to sound knowledgable about alcohol.

Sir hammerlock, Lilith, Roland, and Twilight looked at me as if they just dropped their shit.

Lilith raised a finger to probably object, "Um I don't mean to be offending, but isn't that a little tough for a youngster?"

Twilight spoke: "I don't mean to be a naggy asshole about this but, ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!?", she made the "coo-coo" gesture with her hoof.

"What? Is that dangerous?", I said being naiive as ever on the subject.

"Dangerous, no shit, it is 40% percent concentrated alcohol, per shot! Imagine what the size of a large shake could do to you!"

"Um, moonshine then?"

SLAP!, "That was kinda of, 'ow', hot.".

She pulled on my shirt so her face was on me.

"That's even more dangerous, dumb ass!".

"Can I just have a bottle of beer?"

"Not a drop of alcohol, that shit kills teenagers!"

"So no alcohol then?"

"Not a sip, for me please?", she looked at me like a begging cat.

"Fine, what are you going to have?"

"The toughest shot of martini they got.", she smiled.

"How come you get a strong drink?".

"Well first of all: I am twenty-one, second: based on my research here on the web, there are some particular differences in the anatomy of humans and ponies, for one: we pony's can take up about three times more alcohol than you humans on average."

"Really?", Roland, Lilith, and Sir Hammerlock simultaneously said

"So your saying a martini is basically nothing for you?".

"To simplify it, yes...", Dang, is there anything a human that a pony can't do? :/

Twilight kissed me on the lips to calm down my fear of her slapping me again.

"...but I'll vow to never get drunk, that is until you turn twenty-one and you want to."

"You'd do that for me Twilight? You don't have to...", she kissed me again to silence me.

"I am doing this for you after all that you have done for me, ok, don't fret about it."

"I love you Twilight."

"I love you too Blake."

Sir Hammerlock interrupted the mood by saying: "So just the shake?"

"Just the shake and I think we are ready to order food."

"Burger with fries.", Roland said.

"The regular Spaghetti", Lilith said.

"Just a bowl of ramen with unagi sushi on the side.", Twilight said.

"A big steak with mar-er mash potatoes and gravy" (ha, you thought I was going to put alcohol in it).

Twilight looked at me with a suspicious squint before Sir Hammerlock spoke, "I guess that's everything, It'll be with you here shortly."

~Shortly 1400hrs~

During the first thirty minutes we got our food, I was naiive to the fact that I was the only one that greedily ate like a pig at my steak, Twilight seemed to have the most manners of the table with her chopsticks. After the thirty minutes: "..And then when I accidentally looked at him for a brief second, he jumped out of his chair and charged at me for fucking glancing at him.", I said, explaining a thing that happened in school, they seemed interested in the conversation, considering their heads were closer to me.

"What did you do about the offender?", Roland said.

"I gave him about a dozen one-inch punches to his chest, didn't know I had it in me.", I bragged.

"Play too many violent video games?", Twilight snickered holding noodles in her chopsticks.

"Violence came a long time before video games.", I joked back.

"If you say so.", we all laughed from our conversation.

"That's got to hurt, did you get in trouble?", Lilith said, twirling the noodles in her fork.

"I told them what I did to him in counseling, they were surprised I managed the fight against someone much taller than me but I didn't get in trouble because they ruled it out it was self defense, either that or they didn't punish pussies.", we all laughed again.

"Sure had an interesting sophomore year.", Roland chuckled.

After everyones plates were 3/4 fourths done on average (except Twilight which she devoured her's), "Well fuck, I am stuffed."

"Here's your check.", Sir Hammerlock.

I saw it was over four hundred dollars and I took out my ECHO to pay in debit then Roland spoke up: "No I got this covered."

"You sure Roland?".

"No offense but you have lost enough money today, if you know what I am getting at."

I then remembered those stupid slot machines, "Well thanks Roland, I owe ya."

He pressed the button on the check to pay, "You don't owe me anything, you done enough fighting Jack's army."

I pushed the button that gave tips and deposited $5,000, Sir Hammerlock needed the money more than I do.

"Thank you Vault hunter, you are now excused.", Hammerlock said to me.

We all got up and shook hands/hooves, "Well thanks Roland and Lilith for the lunch, I don't think I'll be saving room for dinner tonight."

"Don't thank us yet.", Lilith said.

"Well we got to get back to work, enjoy the rest of your break and don't forget to ready for tomorrow's mission tonight.", Roland said.

"Sir yes sir.", Twilight and I saluted in unison.

"See ya.", Roland said before Roland and Lilith got out of the booth and headed out the other entrance.

Twilight and I both got out of the booth after them.

"Let's see what this town has else to offer."

"Thanks for visiting Moxxi's you dirty dirty customers.", Moxxi said as we walked by her.

Twilight went first out the door, but I stopped and looked at the slot machines.

"Stupid machines.", I kicked one of the machines and "Ow goddamn it!", my money counter was suddenly $7000 less and the slot machine began spinning.

"WHAT? OH NO NO NO!", I looked away and prepared for the worst, but instead of another, "BOOM TIME!" or a "SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER!", I opened my eyes to see the I got three Marcus heads and a very familiar weapon, nothing of my world or this one.

"Did you fuck up aga-woah whats that?", Twilight said coming back in.

"Is that a Smart gun?"

"A smart gun?", Twilight said.

I picked up the smart gun from the slot machine, "I thought I would never encounter a real one in real life, only in the movies."

"What movie?"

"Remember that movie I talked about: Aliens?"

"Oh yeah, where these things fuck you orally and the offspring burst out of your chest.", Twilight recalled.

"Well this...", I held up the gun, "...is one of the guns they used in the movie, not exactly sure how it worked though, I think it had some sort of infrared camera in the front to help you aim the thing from the hip.".

"Well it is nice the machines decided to like you for a change."

"And for this, I'll kindly give it a kiss.", I kissed the slot machine, "SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER!" (yes it actually said that).

BOOM!

I coughed and did raspberries in response to the soot, Twilight laughed.

"I think it wants a divorce.", Twilight joked, then we both laughed at my misfortune.

I put the huge gun on my back to look intimidating: it was surprisingly light, "Lets see if they have divorce papers around here.", Twilight and I laughed again.

After walking around town for about forty-five minutes we stopped near the press stand.

"...so in GTA Five online I was trolling this one dude, and I think I got him so mad to the point where he chased me around the map."

Twilight laughed in response, she knew what I was talking about cause I explain it all to her already.

"Gee, what the fuck did you do to get him so angry?"

"I dunno, maybe because I kept killing him every time he followed me, I got so much money from him being the bounty."

"Sounds like-"

BANG!

Twilight was interrupted by a shot sound coming from nearby.

We got out our loaded handguns, "Everybody out of the fucking way.", Twilight said while we bulldozed through the crowd.

"Oh hey Vault Hunters!", said a sheriff holding four identical guys in custody and handcuffs. The victim lays with a bullet wound in the head on the ground.

"What happened?", I said.

"I managed to get to the scene and put all these possible suspects in custody, unfortunately I have to hang all of them if I don't know who did it."

"Wait, you can't just kill all of them, some of these guys could be innocent.", Twilight said.

"Sorry, as sheriff I can't run the risk a murder of an inhabitant go about sanctuary, if you can pick out the murder and prove it to me, I won't hang them all.", the sheriff said.

I sighed, "but... grr fine, but just give us time.".

"I'll be in my office, if you have the proof, bring it there, and watch these assholes, understand?"

"We understand.", we said in unison then off the sheriff went.

"Well,", I crouched next to the victim, "Lets start gathering evidence, then we'll analyse it."

I took a closer look at the body and where the bullet entered, Twilight walked around the suspects like a wolf surrounding a prey.

I carefully moved around the head like in LA Noire to get a good look at the victim."Looks like the bullet entered the skull in the forehead but it didn't go all the way through.".

"Can you guess what type of bullet was used?", Twilight said circling and watching the faces of the suspects.

"Not exactly, but wait.... the shell casing, of course!", I snapped my fingers.

"Look!", Twilight pointed to the shell casing right by the body.

I picked up the shell casing and scanned it with my ECHO.

".22 from a pistol most likely.", I said.

"Another thing to note...", Twilight pointed to the forehead, "the area around the face looks a little black, as if it was point blank."

"How do you?... Oh yeah, right.", then I remember all our battles.

"The shell casing was next to the victim so it does make sense.", I continued.

Twilight took a closer look at what they were carrying, one was carrying a rocket launcher, the second, was carrying a shotgun, another was carrying an assault rifle,and the last person was carrying a sniper AND a .22 Ruger pistol.

I noticed this and nodded to Twilight.

"Come here.", Twilight ordered the primary suspect and he obeyed.

"On your knees.", Twilight commanded.

"YOUR NOT GETTING ANYTHING OUT OF ME YOU VAULT FUCKS!",the primary suspect bursted and disobeyed.

"I SAID ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES!.", she yelled super loud.

"AAAH!", she forced him to kneel by stomping the back of his knee.

Right in his face, "One more wrong word...", she whispered with an unfinished sentence.

I entered the sheriff's office alone through the front door.

The sheriff was doing some paperwork in the natural light from the window when he saw me come in, "Your here, where's your Watson?", he referenced to Sherlock Holmes.

"She's keeping watch of the suspects outside.", I said before I sat down.

"So you got the proof?", he said.

"I found the .22 shell casing.", I lifted the plastic bag with the shell casing and put it on the table

"Hey Twilight you think you can get the bullet out with your magic?"

"No problem.", she said as she pointed her horn at the bullet hole.

"The .22 casing was indeed part of the bullet in the skull.", I took out the bloodied bullet in another plastic bag,"Since they both fit, it is confirmed a .22 pistol round was used in point blank range."

I took the bloodied bullet and casing, and put them together, they were a perfect match.

I tilted my body a bit to get a better look at the pistol he was carrying, "Nice .22 you got there."

He spat towards me, "GO TO HELL!".

PUNCH!, "WHAT DID I SAY?!", Twilight drilled after she punched him in the cheek.

"Hand me the pistol Twilight.", she unholstered the weapon and handed me it by holding the barrel.

I took the pistol and opened the cartridge.

"It was undoubtedly from this gun,", I put the magazine with a missing bullet and the gun unloaded in separate plastic bags on the table.

"...since the gun was cocked and the magazine had a missing bullet. And this gun was found on the guy with the sniper rifle."

"So you found out who murdered the victim, nice job, and as a nice reward I will give you both a nice dinner to Moxxi's tonight."

"Now I have a couple questions you need to answer, just one actually.", I said calmly then the suspect in front of me gulped in nervousness.

"YES YES, I DID IT! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?", I noticed something quite odd about the way he talked and his face gestures.

"He's lying.", Twilight noticed too, dang she's pretty good at this too.

"Why are you guys silent, except you huh?"

"Well... it..."

"Nah, how about we try Outside the box?"

"Huh?", he responded.

"Come on tell the truth, out with it.", I calmly said to the suspect, like Hugo Strange.

I can see tears form in three other suspect's eyes.

"Why is it that you only have two guns, and these guys only have one each, hm?", Twilight said, aww I wanted to ask that like the "good cop".

I stood up to look intimidating, "Murderers are one thing, but liars are what I can't stand: fuckers who think they are above the law, who think they can do whatever they want and GET AWAY WITH IT!", I was practically screaming.

"W-what are you sugg-gesting?", he nervously said.

"Where's your gun?", I said.

"What gun?", he was practically sweating.

"Don't bullshit me, I know every cop carries a gun!"

"OKAY OKAY IT WAS..."

"Oh yeah I have a gun, it is right HERE!", suddenly the cop pulls out a Double-barrel shotgun from his desk and cocks one of the primers.

"...THE SHERIFF!"

"Why lie?", I said.

"For years he would do shit similar to this, he'd force us to look alike and become his puppets or else he would black mail us, OR WORSE, our, f-f-families, Oh my sweet sweet daughter!".

BANG!

The pellets blew out my shield since it was shock.

"YOUR DONE!"

BANG!

AAAAAAHHHHHH!, he screamed out in pain from a .50 bullet going through his shield and arm.

"How does it feel to be lied to huh?"

I had Twilight hide in a clay flower bed in a guile covered in fake flowers from a great distance away. Her bolt action sniper had a silencer but it was not a challenge for Ms. Deadshot.

"YOUR DONE!", she heard the conversation through my mic.

"I knew it!", she then pulled the trigger.

BANG!.

I kicked the table in the air so the top of it was parallel with the wall behind the sheriff, I kicked it forward, knocking him down.

I quickly unholstered my pistol from my sleeve.

"Thought you could get away with it huh?", I thought right before I pulled the trigger.

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG

I shot him five times through the table, killing him.

"Looks like there is a new sheriff in town.", I said, blowing the barrel of the gun, I loaded in another magazine and holstered it, blood came out from behind the table.

"Make that two sheriffs", Twilight ECHOed

CRASH!

She used her zip line to crash through the window she shot through and rolled to absorb the impact.

"Time to get this suit off!", she took the suit off and was back to her previous clothing and hat wear.

When she saw me just staring at her, "Come on, I'll take the rest off when we get home.", she made a wink then I bursted out laughing.

"What are we going to do about him?", I question the body.

"I'll contact Roland what happened and the raiders will happily confiscate the body.", yeah carrying bodies sure is fun.

"So why did he do it anyway?", I had to think of the motive here.

Twilight went up to the body and checked his ECHO, "To get back what he lost in a poker game: $10,000, my interrogation with our sniper buddy and his ECHO data confirms this."

"So what did you do with the ones in handcuffs?", I said.

"I freed them, they said they were grateful that for us Vault Hunters and promise to pay us something in return."

"Well it is good we brought a good sense of justice to Sanctuary."

Twilight checked the time (1530 hrs), "We still have hours before we go off to a bit of preparing tomorrow."

"Let's see what Scooters doing.", I said then we were off.

We entered through the back of Scooter's garage to see a it packed full of Sanctuary's citizens surrounding what appears to be a fight going on. I see practically everyone I know here: Marcus (who probably is here for collecting money), Zed (for the hospital bill money), Scooter (can't make a business off a garage on a floating city, so why not make it a fighting arena?), Moxxi (to flirt with the audience), Claptrap (to happily annoy and troll everyone), Sir Hammerlock (the troll dummy), Mordecai, and last but not least Brick (who doesn't want to host a great mother fucking arena, wonder how he got into Scooters head about this).

KICK! STOMP!, we just saw a brute with cargo army pants kick in a normal-sized, random person's teeth in and toss the unconscious corpse out of the out of the ring of people.

"WHO CAN STAY IN THE RING THE LONGEST?! THE PERSON WHO IS LUCKY AND CRAZY ENOUGH TO STAND ALONE IN THE RING AFTER 7:00PM GETS A MILLION DOLLAAAARS, LEAVE YOUR PERSONAL WEAPONS IN YOUR LOCKERS BEFORE YOU ENTER THE ARENA!", Brick said on a microphone.

"Five dollar entrance fee.", Marcus said quickly mic.

We passed through what looks like a detector.

"OH COME ON!", I said as I saw my $5 go down.

I got Brick's attention."I SEE WE GOT THE ALL FAMOUS VAULT HUNTEEEEEEEERS!"

The crowd cheered at us and the spot light came on us, blinding us.

"WILL THESE DANGEROUS VAULT HUNTERS TAKE HOME THE PRIZE OR A HOSPITAL BILL!?", really Brick?

"WOOOO, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!", the crowd cheered

"Aww you got a little purple horsey, what is a scrawny kid and a horse have a against me?", the brute taunted.

We didn't show any emotion, but I sure felt it when he insulted me and my girlfriend.

"Aw did I get you angry, come and show me what you got."

"Blake.", Twilight said with cold rage.

"Yes Twilight.", I said with the same tone.

"Lets kick fucking his asshole."

"Agreed, He obviously doesn't know who he is fucking with."

During the next fifteen minutes we left all our personal weapons, gadgets, and equipments in our lockers. We also left Twilight's kasa and robe, and my hoodie behind which left me with Twilight's hot outfit and my casual clothing.

"Lets show who this bitch who's pimp.", Twilight said doing a tornado kick in the air then this song came on.

http://youtu.be/86khmc6y1yE

"Let me, I'll tag you along if I need help." I said standing before the red rim of the ring.

As soon as I entered the ring:

"I WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD!", I heard someone say in the crowd.

"RIP EACH OTHER'S THROAT OUT!", I heard another say.

"PUT THE DICK IN THE ASS!", I head Claptrap yell.

When I got closer to the brute, he was a foot taller than me, but I didn't show any fear.

"So you wanna cock shoved down your throat I see."

"Seems better than what I had with your mom last night.", I said back to the brute.

"Oh you are going to get fucked for that!", he cracked his knuckles.

"Well come on!", I gave him the two-middle-finger-come-here-gesture, "Come and get your dick back!"

"FUCK YOU!", he said before he launched a furious straight at me.

I chuckled before I immediately dodged it by rotating my whole body ninety degrees to the left and tilting back a bit just enough. Following a nice spin and,

KICK, right and hard (that's what she said) in the gut, but he used his left arm and stomach to hold it in place.

He was strong enough to lift me so he took my leg and slammed my back on the concrete.

"YOU THINK THAT'll WORK?"

"Ow", I thought.

He jumped high in the air and aimed aimed both of his feet at my head, I was fortunate enough to roll to the right before he slammed his feet onto the floor, That could've killed me there.

I jumped onto my feet just seconds before he threw another straight at the side of my head. He was strong but he was no match for the sudden wrist grip.

"Huh?", he said as soon as all the kinetic energy in his arm just vanished.

Still holding his hand in place, I used his stiff shoulder to jump-flip over him and

WHAM!, kicked right in the face with the bottom of my foot, I used his face to push back to where I started: on my feet.

Stunned, I back handed his weakened arm out of the way and dashed to the front of his chest.

PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH...

I did a million one inch punches per hour to his front torso area, pummeling him backwards. After the last punch, I kneed him in the junk.

"OOOOOH", he yelled in pain from me busting his balls.

I then tornado kicked him so hard in his left temple, he fell right like a rag doll.

"Hua YA.", I made a karate stance at the downed but conscious corpse.

He slowly got up, coughing up blood from all the internal damage I gave him but it wasn't enough: "How c-can a toothpick like you b-beat me?"

"Black belt dumb ass."

"W-what about your fuck horse?".

I responded coldly, "Oh, you do not want to fuck with her or her boyfriend, like what I did to you and your mom.", I warned and taunted.

He then tried to strangle me by opening his hands, "I'll KILL YOU!"

"Say I didn't warn ya.", I said before I felt some weight on my shoulders.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING HURT HIM!", Twilight said after she vaulted over me to destroy him and oh boy I can feel the fear of getting mutilated in his eyes.

He tried to grab the incoming straight fore hoof to the face and succeeded, but Twilight was fast enough to karate kick him straight in his right side, right where the liver is supposed to be. Slightly after receiving a huge amount of force to the gut (He's muscular but swear I could hear the liver burst), she used his right side and previously grabbed hoof to dislocate the defensive shoulder, freeing her hoof.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!", he stepped back away from Twilight while screaming and holding his dislocated shoulder

"GUYS!", was his potential last words before Twilight ran up to him, gave him yet another dozen one inch punches to the chest, a hard kick in the stomach and ended him by using one of his bent knees as leverage for her backwards flip followed a run up his chest,

KICK, right in the lower jaw! That kick was so powerful that it launched him about TWO-FEET in the air.

WHAM! He landed straight on his head, I could hear his neck cracking from the weight of his own body (Is he dead? I don't give a fuck, he tried to kill me!).

"Holy shit Twilight, nice one!", I praised as soon as she landed without even breaking a sweat.

"It is not over yet!", without panting, she pointed to the victim's incoming gang members cutting in through the crowd towards the arena.

"YOU KILLED THE BEHEMOTH!" (like I said I don't give a fuck, sue Brick instead for manslaughter), three slightly less muscular guys with random baggy overalls and ghetto accessories came out of the crowd. One had a lead pipe as a blunt, the right guy had a heavy 15 ft. chain, and the middle had a kitchen knife in his hand.

"Wasn't much of a challenge.", Twilight said spitting on the corpse.

"We'll gut you like pigs once we are finished with you!", the middle one did the cutt-throat gesture as he said it.

"Now it is three against two, how does it feel to be out numbered?", the guy with the chain said.

"You can't bring in weapons!", I said.

"You blind or something?", the guy with the pipe pointed to Marcus behind a booth, selling melee weapons to people inside the arena, "Marcus, you greedy-ass dick!", I yelled inside my head.

"Don't worry Blake, we've done this before.", I looked at Twilight to find, not fear is her face, but a determined, teethy grin.

I looked back at the group, at the lead pipe guy mostly, "Come and get some."

Twilight seemed to be focused mostly on the deadbeat with the chain, but we made sure not forget about the middle dude.

Without saying another word, the lead pipe guy ran up to me and made a vertical two handed swipe at my head. I grabbed onto arms swinging it and stopped it in its tracks, I high kicked his face. He dropped his pipe and I caught it I threw it over to Twilight.

She caught it in her fore hoof and twirling it around like a helicopter rudder and eventually slowed to a halt.

The guy with chains made a horizontal slash at Twilight, she used both hoofs to make a perpendicular block with the pipe so one end of the chain wrapped around it and locked in place.

Twilight and the guy on the other end tried to tug o war at each other, but Twilight ended it by holding the reinforced pipe like a spear and chucking it at the guy's head.

The combined force of the released energy, kinetic energy, and Twilight's strong foreleg just knocked him out cold as soon at the end of the pipe hit his forehead.

"I am going to cut you up and eat ya!", the last dude said before grabbing her from behind with a knife on her throat,

WHAM, she threw him over herself hard onto the concrete in front of her, grabbing the blade arm, disarming him in the process. He rolled onto his front to take the intense back injury.

Twilight wasn't finished, in matter of a couple seconds, she did two opposing twirl kicks to put the two palms of his hands in place above one another. She grabbed onto the knife, took aim, and threw.

STAB!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!", right through the two palms and stuck into the ground was the knife she threw.

During Twilight's fight, after I tossed her the pipe, I knocked the hostile who previously had the pipe as a weapon, by palming him hard in the chin, sending him flying.

"How much time?", I said.

She looked up at a timer on Brick's booth.

"About 2 minutes!", she said.

Five more guys from all directions came with similar attire and various weapons.

"GET THESE TWO! AAAAAAH!", the guy on the ground screamed, still in incredible amount of pain.

"You heard him!" the guy with a car door/hand-held riot shield.

Another new dude with an open switch blade made a horizontal, one-handed slash at my throat; I dodged it by a hair by tilting my whole body back a little. I dodged another opposing swipe by doing a hand-stand flip backwards, kicking his lower jaw upwards in the process.

When my feet met the ground once again, I used another enemy's bald head as leverage to vault over with my two hands and kicked the guy behind him with both of my feet in the chest. I toppled my unarmed target over and pushed him onto the concrete from the front, knocking him out cold from hitting his head.

The enemy I vaulted over had a baseball bat with nuts and blots through it, he had turned around and tried to strike me on my previous target.

WHAM!, from his left, he got karate kicked in the face by Twilight's hind leg. He skited across the hard cement as his out-cold body flew to right of his previous position and out of the ring, she used the leverage from the target to face-jump from him and land a kick in the Switch blader's stomach. She used the leverage from her target to jump-flip back and land with her two hind legs on the concrete to get a good distance from her target.

She put all fours on the ground and galloped as fast as she can towards her enemy, he tried to make another horizontal swipe, but Twilight jumped over his swipe and head to take his head...

WHAM!, use her fore hooves and bodyweight to give him a serious concussion to the back of the head on the concrete, she made a Hollywood pose on the ground as soon as she and the head landed like in Saints Row 3.

I rolled back to transition from crouching to standing to get off the body. I fell back again to topple another enemy behind me backwards.

SLAM!, sandwiched between my back and the concrete.

I saw that he had a metal knuckle on each hand, so I then rolled backwards again to get off the stunned guy I squished and grabbed one on his arms in the process

The hand I was holding was in a tight fist, so I twisted the arm with my whole body to unlock and open it to get the metal knuckles from it.

STOMP!

I jumped up and stomped on his head to knock the recently injured dude out to take his other metal knuckle.

I put them on each hand and practiced by punching twice in the air, the real game started as soon as the last car door dude charged at me from behind. I turned around...

SMASH! "Get out from behind there!"

I said as I punched through the glass of the door to grab his gold-plated chain around his neck; I negated his charge and put my leg on the car door to pull his body out through the broken window until the door aligned with his waist.

PUNCH!

I did an upper cut into his stomach.

Twilight was just behind the shield with the switch blader's knife in her right fore hoof.

STAB!

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH", the last victim screamed in pain.

"Oooooh!", I heard the audience flinch from seeing Twilight ram a switch blade's blade up his ass... literally.

"Take it like a mare!", she said then slapped a cheek on his rear.

"I don't usually to promote this, way to go vault hunters!", I heard Sir Hammerlock said.

"Harder and Deeper!", jeese he's had enough pain Claptrap.

"Time to add anal surgery, scratch prostate exam.", I saw Dr. Zed write on his clip board while talking to himself.

"The first time always hurts!", that's what Moxi said.

"Way to go vault hunters!", Mordecai said raising his arm in the air.

The clock hit the time limit (7:02pm),"AAAND IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A WINNEEEEEEEEEER!".

"OH YEAH!", we said in unison and high five/hoofed.

"OOONE MILLION DOLLARs to my two favorite badasses: Twilight Sparkle and Blake Williams! *Sniff sniff*, they kill so fast.", I heard Brick oddly on the verge off tears.

I saw Brick pull a lever:

SLAM!, we both flinched to a crate being dropped in front of us, seriously Brick?

I picked up a bat on the ground and twirled it a bit in my hand,

BREAK!, I broke the latch on the crate and it opened by it'self.

"Twilight?", I said looking upon the stacks of 100 dollar bills in the crate.

"Yes?", she said grinning

"We are going on a shopping spree tonight."

During our visit at Gunstop (firepower to the people), we each spent a little over $250,000. We couldn't carry everything in our digital storage, so we used a regular shopping cart to carry the rest. I bought mostly the materials to make a new special friend (I do not have a weapon fetish.) that will replace my quadrotor.

"Thanks for shopping at Marcus, see you soon!", Marcus happily waved to us as we walked away from the store.

"So what else do you do piss people off?", Twilight talked whiled I pushed the cart.

"In Battlefield 4, I put C4 on chronic campers, and I message to them saying, "you got C4 in your pants", then you know the rest."

Twilight bursted out laughing, "I gotta try to do these troll tactic on my friends when we get back home, especially Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, you'll love to hang out with them."

"I can't wait. Where here.", we stopped in front of HQ.

Twilight helped me with the door and we went inside; Tannis was doing her thing as usual.

"You can go upstairs Twilight and rest, I'll meet you up there when me and/or Tannis are finished with this.", I said putting a robotic arm on the table.

"I love you Blake!".

"I love you too, Twilight!", I kissed her on the lips before she went upstairs.

"Alright.", I put a roll of paper, measuring tools and utensils on an empty table, "I need all the help I can get Tannis, are you up for the challenge...?"