It was still windy out, and the wind carried that special twinge of chill that it always started to around that time of year. The sun was already at a good height in the sky, but it was still only just kissing the high rooftops of Canterlot beyond the rim of the castle walls. As she trotted out onto the steps, she wasn't thinking about the kissing sun or the biting wind. She was just 'realizing' over and over that she didn't have time for this, like a skipping record.

"Mom! Daddy!" she shouted, vying for volume against the wind.

"Pumpkin!" her mother squealed immediately, her usual chipper self, and brushed past the guards that were dotting a ring outside the carriage to nuzzle Twilight. "It's been so long!"

"It's been about a year, Mom," she said, begrudgingly accepting the nuzzle.

"That it has," her mother agreed, nodding, while her father caught up behind her.

"We were notified of some trouble, Twily, is everything okay?" he interrupted, his mane frizzier than usual, his voice quiet, his eyes tired as they always were.

Twilight closed her eyes, tight, and rubbed her forehead heavily with a hoof. "They notified you?" She huffed, and shook her head. "There was an accident, but nothing that we can't figure out eventually. Eveypony's going back home in a few hours, but I'm staying here to do some research," she added, and looked at them both, one to the other, her mouth a thin line. "... You also saw the papers."

"We did indeed see the papers," her father replied quickly, glancing to her mother, "and I, for one, had no idea."

"Neither did I," her mother said, and Twilight felt the awkward hole they were digging themselves into growing larger with every word. "I always that you weren't really interested in anypony."

"I have a feeling I'll be getting a lot of that soon," Twilight replied dully. "You've met her. She's happy a lot and likes pink probably too much."

"Yes, but -"

"Well, there's still -"

"Guys, can we just - can we just hold off on this?" Twilight interrupted, her voice climbing in pitch. "I have a lot to do right now. I can take you guys to meet most everypony in the main hall, but there's not much you can - well, really do."

Her mother nodded again. "Does 'everypony' include Pinkie Pie?" Her question panned out flatly, sounding almost rhetorical.

The gears in Twilight's brain froze for a moment. "Uh... w - I mean, she isn't feeling too good -" that sounds like a lie "- and she probably won't be - uh, have everything ready yet. I mean, you can - uh, I -" She stopped herself, her mouth hanging open for a moment while she reached for something to say. "... Let's just go in."

She turned and trotted back up to the huge double-doors and their guards, mentally hitting herself along the way.

Dash had everything ready to go - she'd only brought her toothbrush, so there wasn't too much to pack. She was floating slowly down to the main room, down the high-ceilinged, tapestried hall, taking her time to think some more. Not that there was much to think about.

Ultimately, she was just unfocused. Keywords like Elements and Applejack were floating unconnected to thoughts in her heads, an underscore of concepts being the only real constant.

She caught Princess Celestia's voice as she was about to pass one of the file rooms, and Princess Luna's voice came shortly after, although she couldn't really make out what they were saying. Her brain scrambled for what to do.

"Um, Princess," she found herself saying as she landed and approached the door.

Princess Celestia was standing behind a table covered in papers, levitating a few of them in front of her, and Princess Luna was sitting nearby. Both turned to look at her, suddenly stone silent.

An imaginary cold sweat broke out over her as doubts flowed into her mind. A contrast image of Fluttershy's face, disappointed. Her, walking alone away from her friends. Five bodies lying at the massive claws of a dragon. She shook her head quickly, jarring them from her thoughts. "Nothing. Never mind."

Princess Celestia smiled, an odd smile, neither friendly nor malicious, and closed the door in her face. She look to her left and right, as though scanning the hall for some kind of justification, and then behind her, out the tall lozenge window. Nothing.

She scowled at the door and left.

Silence was all that remained in the hall for a good thirty seconds. "She's gone," Luna said quietly.

"Yes."

"And that was her way of denying her original desire?"

"I believe it was," Celestia replied, and laid the papers back on the desk in an orderly fashion. She pursed her lips, something she rarely did (as she was rarely upset). "... I will admit that I rather wish we didn't have to do this."

"I've said that before myself, but we've done all we really can." Luna opened a file drawer and removed a small scroll with cartographical symbols outlining a neat chart. "There's not much chance it won't work."

"But we're asking Twilight to discover something we don't even know about. We don't even know about," she repeated for emphasis. "That's insane."

"If push comes to shove, we'll join her in her attempt and formulate a new plan."

"How long will that take? Years? Another generation or two?"

"Whatever it takes, sister." Luna's voice took an edge briefly.

"I don't want to force them into something uncontrollable, or unsolvable," Celestia snapped, her turn to Luna quite animated. "I chose these ponies myself, and I'm close to them. Especially Twilight. She is necessary."

"And you believe my anxiety is less potent?" Luna replied, her voice unreasonably calm. "I know Twilight Sparkle perhaps better than you do, Celestia, and yet I remain stolid. Perhaps you should, as I do, stay professional."

Celestia paused, and looked down at the papers. "You need to go to bed. It's almost ten."

"Call me if you need me," she replied, and left silently.

Celestia was suddenly alone in the rather small file room, and it continued to cramp her by the second. There wasn't any true alternative. She would simply have to wait and see.

Pinkie's brain felt like sausage, and velvet, and glue, all put together.

Everything she had was packed, and she was ready to go, but she just barely understood this. Everything seemed much hazier than it should have been, and although she knew why, the thought itself wouldn't coagulate into a sentence. Bubbles of visions and long streams of consciousness floated aimlessly in her head, and she laid back on the bed, and stood up again, and laid down again.

"Twilight," she said, out loud, feeling the word pass her lips. "Too. Why. Mm. Spar - hm." There wasn't any good nickname at all. She shook her head and put a hoof to her mouth, her thoughts rather bleeding together.

Maybe she needed to eat something. Maybe she needed to eat something. Or eat something. Yeah.

With a roll, she wrapped the blanket around herself and tossed her saddlebags over it and trotted out the door, smiling widely around at the windows and a pair of guards. They looked confused. She wondered why.

"Wait," she murmured to herself as she continued down the hall. "No, we have to go. I can't eat yet." She paused for a moment, slowing and looking out the window again. "Wow, I am really backwards right now."

"You okay?"

The quiet question made her jump, and she sighed when who it was connected in her brain. She turned, a hoof on her chest. "You can't just scare me like that."

Fluttershy smiled her small smile, and moved her wings a bit, adjusting her own, bright white saddlebags. "You just said you were backwards. To the window."

"Well," Pinkie replied, "I am. You know that thing we fought can make you do that? Get backwards," she added, turning to continue her walk.

Fluttershy followed alongside her. "I guess you could say I kind of got the same way. For a moment or two. It was really odd, but I kind of felt like I did when Discord changed us in the maze. Remember that?"

Pinkie's brain turned over. "Mm. Hey, are you bi, or what?"

Fluttershy looked over at her, her mouth a bit open in surprise. "Uh - w- n-no, I... why?" she stammered, and Pinkie giggled. "Are you?"

She rolled her eyes in sort-of apathy. "I dunno. Maybe. I'd probably still donk Twilight if she were a dude."

"... 'Donk'?"

"It's a good word," she replied. That was probably true. Was this weird? Nah.

Fluttershy chuckled, just the one chuckle when there's a little near-scoff and a lopsided grin. "That could almost be romantic if you rephrased it."

She kicked at the floor a little bit, dragging her hoof along the stone, almost like she was nervous. Or something. Nothing was very clear in her mind at the moment, but a little thought bubble surfaced, and she decided to roll the dice with it. "Hey, don't take this weird."

"Hm?"

"Were we ever - I don't know, were we ever really attracted to each other?" The words dripped out of her mouth syllable by syllable, but she felt a kind of alleviation on her mind, like the weirdness in her head was fading slowly.

Fluttershy was quiet, so she glanced over; her mouth was open, and she was looking out of each window they passed, likely grabbing for words. But she wasn't embarrassed, Pinkie didn't think. She wasn't blushing, or stuttering, or doing the mane thing she did whenever she was particularly nervous. And then she broke the silence. "I... I would have to say that, outside of Dash, you're my best friend."

Pinkie licked her lips, subconsciously, as the depth of the question got to her. "But, uh," she began, surprised at how quiet she was.

"But is that attraction? I don't - I don't really think so. I mean," she said, inhaling, "I love Dash. I do, I have for a long time. She's what I think of when I think of attraction."

"I kind of think that's the same thing with Twilight and me," she said, still quiet despite herself. "I don't know what's with her. It was always just mental, up to a point."

"Yeah, exactly," she agreed, finally looking back at her. "I mean, I knew what I liked forever, but, well, Dash was never my type, I guess. Athlete, you know." She paused. "I learned to love it, you could say."

"I just didn't think about it for a while. Turns out I'm not a very sexual kinda - I mean, like, I had no idea other ponies considered that kind of thing so much," she said, with a laugh. "But it got there."

"I'm going to marry her," Fluttershy said after a moment. Pinkie smiled, hearing the little pinpricks of joy standing out in the sentence, but she continued. "... Have you thought about it?"

She didn't reply, but just swallowed and looked down.

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I just - don't think I know how Twilight would react. It's kind of scar-"

She stopped herself, looking up. They're reached the main room, lit bright white by the broad Gothic windows. Dash was sitting on the stairs to the upper hall, her head leaning against the banister, and Rarity was nearby, talking to Twilight. And her parents.

"Uh -"

"Hey, Shy," Dash called from across the room, the echo bouncing around a couple good, solid times before dying. Pinkie remained still, rather assuming that if she didn't move, they couldn't see her. For some reason (she knew the reason) she was terrified. Twilight did a little wave, and, after a whisper from her mother, she nodded. Then her parents waved, too, bigger. She waved back, kind of, her foreleg's movement limited by the blanket which she suddenly realized she had on.

She approached slowly as Twilight came towards her, much quicker. "I have to go talk to the Princesses," she whispered into her ear. "I'll be right back."

Pinkie was struck, taken totally off-guard. "I - I want to marry you," she blurted, looking over at her.

Twilight was silent for a moment, her eyes wide, her mouth moving noiselessly. Suddenly, she seemed to put two and two together. "I know you're a bit out of it right now," she said finally, putting a hoof on her shoulder gently. "We can talk later. Okay?"

"Yeah," she said, blinking quickly and looking away. "I don't know what..."

"It's fine, alright? I'll be back in a few minutes to say goodbye. I'm staying for a few days to work with the library." She kissed her loosely, catching just the side of her mouth, and smiled a shallow smile. Pinkie turned after her as she walked back into the hall behind them.

"So you must be Pinkie Pie," she heard, and whipped her head back around, feeling suddenly dizzy again. She looked actually quite similar to Twilight, and it confused her for a moment. "Pleased to meet you."

"And I you," she replied and took her hoof, realizing in a moment how archaic that sounded and almost laughing. "I would like to say that, uh, I'm having a couple problems, um, with my head right now, so it's probably not," she paused, losing her words, "not the best time to meet you."

"Oh," the mare replied, turning to (Pinkie assumed) her husband, Twilight's father. "Well, she did warn us."

Pinkie frowned. A glance over to the other three for help, but they were just watching in morbid curiosity. She was going to have to talk to them anyways, wasn't she. Good. So she tried, and tried telepathically yelling at Twilight to return.

She wasn't even angry anymore. She just had too many questions and needed them answered, and now, and well. The hoofsteps that echoed through the hallway quickened as time skipped on by. It took a couple minutes to find the room, but she did - the Princess would be filing with the state secretaries from nine to two today. Schedules were important to memorize.

A couple knocks on the door, and it opened by itself, squeaking briefly at the hinge. "Princess?" she asked, stepping into the room.

"Behind the bookshelf in the back. Come in, Twilight," returned the classical, regal voice. No state secretaries to be seen.

She'd begun talking before she'd found her way past the first pile of papers. "I have some questions I need to ask you. Well, confirm my suspicions, really. One -"

"Think for a while before you ask, Twilight. Either you'll figure it out or you weren't meant to know," Celestia replied, her hushed voice still carrying well in the small room.

Twilight stopped herself, passing with some difficulty by another cabinet. "I... need to know this one."

"Please, ask."

"... Why would you test us then?"

There was silence for a minute as Twilight rounded the last corner. Princess Celestia was sitting, her back turned, papers in a halo of bright yellow magic around her, shuffling back and forth slowly and periodically drifting into a surrounding pile. "You do know you're the first real group to be given the power of these artefacts."

"Of course. So you would need to test. But why then? Why when it was so dangerous?"

Celestia's papers stopped in midair, and floated in the halo to the ground in a neat stack. "This was a chance to see what friendship and romance could do to one another. I don't believe I thanked you for your time and -" She paused. "And sacrifice."

"That's the problem," Twilight said, grating her teeth for a moment to avoid raising her voice. "We'd already figured romance would unbalance a set of six friendship-magic devices. I did my whole fourth thesis on that. Why would you sacrifice our safety for research?" If I've ever wanted to kick you square in the middle of your semiomnipotent back.

Celestia finally turned, as though she could hear. "I think you know the answer to that, too."

"I don't want to believe it."

"You have to, Twilight." Her voice had suddenly taken a stiffness and a sternness. "You have to learn, now, exactly what it means to we do what we do."

"You can't care that little for mortal life!"

"I do care for mortal life. I keep this planet where it needs to be so we don't float off into deep space." And the voice had gone from sternness to genuine anger. "Never suggest that again." She paused, and turned more fully to face her. In the small space, she was huge, and she sat regally, giving off a potent air of power and immanence. "I think better of you."

A measure of shame fell on her, pressure against her mind, but it was driven off by the anger again. "... I'm sorry, but -"

"You and I both fully understood the risk in the procedure. However, if you said that you wanted to stop it, I would have fully agreed, and we would have left. But you didn't."

Twilight stood where she was, but her legs became a little weaker. It wasn't the cutting drive to her words that caused it, it was the dawning realization of something she'd sometimes ruminated over but never seriously suggested. "It's the plan."

Celestia said nothing.

"... Was Applejack part of the plan? -"

"No. No, no, no, and we are doing all we can to treat her. I have the greatest licenses in Equestria working on her currently." Celestia looked softly at her now. "I hadn't foreseen that. I am fallible."

The hush that followed lasted for what must have been hours.

"I can tell you one thing. There's a way to - fix the Elements. But you need to figure it out. I can do nothing."

Twilight looked down, away from the Princess, at the hardwood. And the torrent hit her suddenly and massively. She let out a quiet sob, and wiped at her eyes, feeling her face contract. In a quick movement, Celestia, as large and powerful and immanent as she was, leaned forwards and wrapped her in a gentle, silent half-embrace.

It wasn't like she hasn't cried in front of her lifelong mentor previous, but she was... ashamed is the best word. And, honestly, terrified. Because all she knew was that there was a plan. But what it entailed - a mystery. And she knew better than to ask.

Fluttershy would have been last on the train, but she looked around and answered the question on all the everypony's minds. "She's coming. She'll be about five minutes."

They waited, chatting quietly, the dourness of the situation settling on them as they realized the fifth of the friends was still lying, dead to the world, two trains away, surrounded by machines and lab coats. When Twilight arrived, there wasn't much of a difference.

She walked in, taking her sweet time, looking at her hooves. As Pinkie rather figured would happen, she sat right next to her, and wrapped her forelegs around her, pulling her back legs up onto the soft red cushioned seat. Dash tapped her hoof a couple times on the metal bars below. "... Wanna talk?"

"I just - just want to think."

"Tell us when, darling. I would love to help," Rarity added, quietly.

"I have to do something. Soon." A beat. "AJ's going to be fine, I think."

The conversation slowly grew back to normal over the hour before they got back to Ponyville.

Author's Notes:

And thus begins Squeecember.
In October.
I am very good at pun.