Pinkie trotted quickly down the street, feeling a slight burning sensation behind her eyes. Was it the breeze? No, there wasn't a breeze.

Now, as a rule, Pinkie didn't - ever - become embarrassed. She'd done more embarrassing things than anypony would think, especially in school. All for the sake of fun. That one time in school. Those multiple times in school, actually. Perhaps that one time when she dressed up with the stockings and cut her hair short and blatantly flirted with everything that moved. That was a laugh for weeks, wasn't it? Well, perhaps among her accomplices.

She had been in her best mood that day, which accounted nicely for the smooth performance she'd given. Of course, by the next day the rumors had begun, probably for that reason. For obvious and intentional reasons, everypony began to think Pinkie was a fillyfooler. Or just a freak. Sex addict? It took her, literally, four and a half months to clear her name. But, though she didn't really talk about, she didn't feel very embarrassed. She was kind of supposed to take it in stride, that wads her personality; but all the names flung her direction didn't really hurt her. But something did.

There was a shyer filly in her class that took the brunt of the act, whose name she'd quite forgotten. All she really remembered was the long mane. She went up to Pinkie one afternoon after school and asked, in a stutter, whether she'd like to meet somewhere for ice cream. But she had to refuse. She wasn't actually a fillyfooler. Pinkie tried to be kind, but a week later, the filly left the school. No matter who she asked, nopony knew her name after they'd graduated, considering how quickly she'd moved away.

Of course, every romance after that had died quickly. Perhaps now she understood the reason why.

The thought surprised her. In fact, it scared her... and embarrassed her more than the emotions she felt in the library had. There was such a swirling torrent of emotions built up in her head already - varying from pain to painful chagrin to frustration - that the confusion and fear barely affected her at all.

Nonetheless, that swirling torrent still took its toll on Pinkie. Her hooves struck the tiled road quicker and quicker until she was nearly galloping to her apartment.

She passed a familiar orange earth-pony without stopping or even slowing down to acknowledge her. After seeing Pinkie rush by her apple stand in such a worrying state, Applejack had all the information she needed. One of her friends was upset. She quietly closed up the booth, leaving monetary business for the next day. Today, there was more important business to handle.

Her brother, who was sitting nearby half-asleep, looked over at her, cocking his head. Where? he seemed to be asking.

"There's somethin' wrong with Pinkie. Take over, ah'll be back."

Tears were beginning to come to her eyes. She assumed it was just another mood swing, or that she was just being angry at herself for feeling such drastic feelings. Whatever it was, it was powerful.

But, as she trotted quickly into the small white door of her apartment, she suddenly understood more things than she would have wished - which was, of course, too much to take in all at once. She walked numbly over to the small green couch near the door and sat down, still embarrassed just for breaking down for what felt like no reason.

She laid down slowly on her side, suddenly upset with herself. It would have seemed impossible a while ago.

Or would it have? After all, she'd wondered the same thing that morning (with less direct phrasing, of course). But that one turning-point thought was enough to give Pinkie a sense of affirmation.

I'm in love with Twilight Sparkle.

A dual emotion rose up in her chest, flushing her face and quickening her breath. She felt relieved, as though a weight was lifted from her chest, but... she also felt disturbed. Her? Twilight Sparkle? One of the friends she'd known the least amount of time? One who seemed to clash with her personality at every turn? Why? It felt like it was boring into her mind.

Why? It couldn't just be her personality... the characteristics Twilight had could gotten them as far as 'friends', but not much more. It was... something different.

Pinkie rolled over, her breath still shallow. Her mind had made a decision her emotions couldn't keep up with; it was more difficult than Pinkie had imagined anything to be before. Was it... her body?

No. That - that couldn't be it. It wasn't hard to say that Twilight was good-looking, because she was, and it's not an uncommon thing for friends to compliment one another's appearance. But she wasn't really that much better-looking than the other mares around, and she never really felt anything towards them. Except maybe a periodic twinge from a sideways glance at a particularly... no. That wasn't it.

It had to be the feeling. Pinkie had really been attuned to Twilight's overall character since they met - Twilight just seemed to give Pinkie a sense of calm, order, understanding, whatever you want to call it. It was almost like her friend... completed her. Balanced her. But still, there were so many questions. How? Why now? When did it start?

Pinkie's thoughts were not interrupted by the knocking on the door adjacent to her, nor by the entrance of a concerned-looking earth-pony. Applejack looked down at the curled-up pink mare on the couch beside her. Applejack could tell that whatever Pinkie had been through, it wasn't pleasant.

"You all right, sugar cube?" Applejack leaned down to Pinkie, speaking gently. Pinkie didn't respond. "What happened? Is anypony hurt?" Applejack asked her friend, laying a hoof softly on her bright pink mane and sitting on the floor next to the couch, meeting her at eye level.

Pinkie opened her eyes slowly, as though awakening from a dream. They were a light red; she'd been through more than Applejack had thought. "I -" she stuttered, her throat still dry. "I - can't tell you. I can't tell anypony. I can't let it get out, I can't let it get around -"

Applejack smiled. "Now, come on, sugar cube, ya know ya can tell me anythin'. I'll... keep it a secret," she replied, looking away and frowning, debating wither herself whether that was entirely true.

"I can't."

"Ya have to, sugar cube, or yer never gonna get any better."

Pinkie was grasped by a sudden impulse. She sat up, and looked steadily into her eyes. Well, she had a roundish face, with big, bright eyes, and always smelled like soil and apples. Not bad. She leaned forwards and pressed her lips rather forcefully against hers.

Applejack blushed and spluttered, pulling off Pinkie. "Jeez, Pinkie, what're ya tryin' ta do?" she cried, and reeled back a bit from the couch.

Meanwhile, Pinkie had stood and had begun to pace around the room, suddenly concentrating on an unclear thought. She was totally ignoring her friend, who had fallen backwards onto the hard wooden floor. Applejack stood from her position as well and stared at Pinkie, shocked and slightly frightened.

Pinkie was thinking everything over in her head, focusing mainly on the 'why'. Well, it obviously wasn't because she liked mares physically... It didn't feel much different from when she'd kissed a colt before. It had to be emotional, or at the very least psychological.

As Applejack walked quickly and shakily over to the door, a terrible thought dawned on Pinkie. If I got all nervous and sad after ten minutes in the library with Twilight, how would I be around Twilight on a normal day?

"Wait!" Pinkie called out to Applejack, who had just opened the door to excuse herself. "I need you for something!" Pinkie nearly shouted, rushing over to her and grabbing her shoulders.

Applejack stared briefly into Pinkie's eyes, and began pleading with her. "Wait, no, no, Pinkie, ah don't think ah could stand fer any more kissin', please don't do that again, Pinkie, 'cause ah'm not-"

"No, no, it's not like that or anything! I'll explain later. But I really, reeeeeally need your help!" Pinkie replied, looking back into Applejack's eyes with a pleading of her own.

The orange mare looked at Pinkie, then at the door, then back at Pinkie. But Applejack couldn't resist helping a friend in need, even if that friend happened to have just recently... um... snapped?

She sighed. "Ah... guess ah could help ya on... whatever it is. Ah mean, unless..."

"No, no, no," Pinkie repeated, bordering frustration. "I just need to talk to you. I really do need to talk to somepony, and I... I can always trust you, Applejack."

The emotion that last sentence contained broke through Applejack's defenses. "Alright," the farmer replied, putting her hooves up in surrender. "How long is thi - no, ya know what? You can take as long as ya need to. Ah'm here for ya, sugar cube."

Pinkie smiled sadly at the orange mare, and looked over to the couch. "I hope this won't take too long, either. Do you maybe want some cider?"

"I'm not sure how to begin. I... guess I should explain what happened earlier."

Applejack had looked concerned since she'd walked in the door, but her expression changed momentarily to gratitude and relief. "Well, ah'm glad you've got a reason, or else ah'd be worried fer ya." She laughed nervously. Pinkie remained crestfallen, discouraging any further comments from her friend.

"I, um, I guess... maybe I should start over," Pinkie continued unsurely. "This is kind of hard to say. Uh..." She stopped, and slumped back in her seat, raising a hoof to the ceiling. "Why is this so hard?!"

"Yeah, why're ya bein' so shy?" Applejack asked. "Usually, yer like... well, ya know, Pinkie. Yer usually jist such a happy pony all the time, ah was confused when ah saw ya upset." She sighed. "And that's why ah'm still here, ah guess."

"You don't get it."

"Yeah, 'cause ya ain't told me nothin' yet."

"It's hard!"

"Why?!"

"I think I'm in love with Twilight!"

Pinkie and Applejack gasped simultaneously, and Pinkie covered her mouth with her hooves. The moment had come far too soon... she was planning on easing herself into it. But... it slipped out. Just like it always did.

This was such a strong thought, Pinkie said it aloud. "Just like it always does," she said, sounding tired - almost depressed.

Applejack sat and stared in shock at her fellow earth-pony. "So, ah guess that explains the -"

"Yeah." Pinkie looked downwards, averting her friends' gaze. "I... just wanted to make - wanted to know whether I was..."

"A lesbian?"

"Celestia, Applejack! Still kind of conflicted over here!"

"Alright, alright. Calm yerself down."

Pinkie inhaled deeply. The house around them was totally silent, save the still-shallow breaths of Pinkie.

"Wh-" she began. "I mean... it hurts. You know?"

"No."

"Let me finish." Pinkie sighed again and covered her face with her hoof. "There's just a problem here. I don't- I've never thought of myself as..."

"A l-" Applejack stopped herself. "...likin' other mares?"

"Yeah." She stopped momentarily, still not looking up towards Applejack. "That's why... I wanted to make sure it... with Twilight? Why Tw -" She groaned again. "Why is this so hard?!" she cried once more.

"Well, maybe it's because ya don't think Twilight's gonna be a - like you - I mean, not like - you know."

"That's what I was gonna say next, though," Pinkie replied, finally looking back towards Applejack. "I was with Twilight in the library for a few minutes today."

Applejack looked up at Pinkie. "Ya mean ya... did ya say anything?"

"Almost." She shook her head, putting a hoof on her forehead. "I just realized it this morning, and now it's - it's hard to be around - around her." Pinkie looked shattered, as though someone had just broken her heart.

"Pinkie, think! This is Twilight we're talkin' about!" Applejack was becoming more and more confounded by the minute. How? Why? Her head was filled with the same questions as Pinkie's.

"I know! That's why I need help." She swallowed. "That's why I need your help."

Applejack looked up towards her friend, who appeared to be fighting a stressful battle with herself. She looked positively... well, broken is really the only way to describe it. The orange mare was dumbfounded. Pinkie was the Element of Laughter! How on Earth did she get herself in such a terrible state?

"I know I can rely on you, AJ. You're always so... truthful, and trusting -"

A trigger went off in Applejack's head. "Ah'm sorry, 'trusting'? Ah'm not the butt of another prank of yours, am ah? Like that one you did in school - hoo-ee! That killed yer reputation, didn't it!"

"No, Applejack, please listen! I'm being dead serious!" she said, her voice breaking. Applejack snapped to attention; she felt regretful almost instantly. It didn't help anything when Pinkie began sobbing into her hooves.

"Pinkie, wait, ah'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Applejack stopped. She got up off the soft red chair and moved over to Pinkie's side, sitting next to her, and sighed. "Ya have to know that ah'm always gonna be here fer ya. Always. Ah'm one-a yer best friends, ya know. It wouldn't be right for me to abandon one-a mah friends when they needed me."

Pinkie continued sobbing, but tried to the best of her ability to speak. "It... th-this is the first time I've really felt - the - this kind of thing, and I - I know she won't..." she stuttered, leaning over more towards Applejack.

Applejack leaned back and patted Pinkie's head softly. "Ah know, sugar cube. If ya want me to... I could see if Twilight -"

"NO!" Pinkie nearly shouted, sitting up quickly. All the tears had left her for a moment. "Nopony can ever know about this. This has to be a secret." She put her head down again, seeming depressed once more. "I don't know what I would do if anypony found out. If she found out. I - I feel sick."

Applejack gulped. Trying to keep a secret had gotten her into all kinds of trouble in the past. Secrets went directly against her nature. She just hoped that nopony would ask her what she'd been doing all day... that wouldn't be good. Thankfully, there was a loophole in this.

"Why don't we... uh... do somethin' else for a while? Maybe take yer mind off a few things?" Applejack looked down at Pinkie: she was a mess. He hair was frizzy, she was flushed and her cheeks were wet, and her eyes were almost bloodshot.

Pinkie sat for a few seconds, then lifted her head. "You're right. You're right, I'm sorry. I just... you know how ponies act in those really awful romance movies?"

Applejack chuckled despite herself. "Yeah." She paused, shifting on the couch. "It is that bad?"

"... Yeah." She leaned slightly away from Applejack, the daydreams returning for enough time to make her sufficiently uncomfortable. "I don't know wh-what brought it on, really. She's just... I don't know. It's - it's too serious to shake off."

Applejack sighed. "Ah'm... ah'm sorry, Pinkie, ah didn't mean to -"

"You - you know what, though?" she interrupted, forcing a smile. "Let's just do something in the kitchen. I should probably take my mind off of it. Can't worry forever," she added, weakly.

Three hours later, the pair finally finished their notes and ideas. The trash can was nearly overflowing with mistakes and failures, all to create the perfect apple dessert: a cupcake combined with an apple.

"Whew!" Applejack exclaimed, leaning onto the counter. "That was amazin', Pinkie! Ah never knew ya knew so much about bakin'!"

"Well, yeah, silly!" Pinkie smiled. Her peppy demeanor had returned, both in sight and mind. "Where do I work?"

"Oh, yeah."

They burst into laughter. There wasn't a particular reason (it really wasn't that funny), but it just felt good to laugh. Pinkie had essentially gone on a twelve-hour happiness fast, and it sure wasn't enjoyable.

The oven dinged, interrupting the mares' joy. Pinkie walked over and kicked open the door. "Well, here's our latest attempt," she said, turning to face it.

It was beautiful: the perfect mixture between the yellow of a vanilla cupcake and the maroon of a Red Delicious apple.

"Hey, lookit: it's got mah colors!" Applejack chuckled, pulling the tray out of the oven. It was true: the orange in the cupcake went very well with (if did not literally match) Applejack's ambery coat.

"Now, the final touch," Pinkie said, taking a sock of handmade icing from the counter and spreading it graciously over the pastry, covering every spot. Then, she got started on the decoration, working with admirable speed and grace, until the cupcake was topped with a near-perfect design.

"Woah, sugar cube," Applejack said in awe, "that's amazing."

"Yeah, I know," Pinkie smiled broadly. "I mean, I've been doing it for years now, I just had to get better sometime, right?"

Applejack grinned. Pinkie had returned to her (self-described) 'pep-tacular' state; her work was done. Other than that, Applejack had actually had a relatively nice time with Pinkie, not to mention that she learned (and helped create) a new dessert.

"Well, if ya don't mind, Pinkie, ah'm gonna take mah leave, and-"

"No, wait! Not before trying the cupcake!" Pinkie interrupted.

"Alright, okay. If you insist," Applejack replied jokingly. She walked over to the cupcake and looked down at it; it really was a beauty. Quite a shame to break apart.

Ah, well. The orange mare tore the small pastry cleanly into two, releasing a burst of apply fragrance into the air. Without looking twice at it, she took a good-sized bite.

"Holy... oh mah... Pinkie, come here an' try this. This is... oh... perfect!" Applejack smiled broadly, chewing slowly to savor the taste."This could really be a good thing fer yer business!"

"Well, if I ever start selling it, I'll give lots of credit to y- oh!" she said involuntarily, taking a bite of the cupcake. "This is... the best thing I've ever made before in my life ever and it could totally be - oh!" she said again, taking another bite.

"Why is this so good?"

"I don't know!"

The two burst again into raucous laughter, finishing off their halves of the cupcake in delight. After the bout of happiness finally wrapped up, Applejack made her way over to the door.

"Wait!"

Applejack turned again, to see Pinkie standing in front of her with her hoof out. In it was the recipe for their apple cupcake.

"You almost forgot this," she said. Applejack looked at the perky mare in front of her, and at the paper, before taking the recipe and tucking it into a corner of her hat.

Pinkie leaned in and wrapped her friend in a hug with her forelegs. Applejack returned it, grateful.

"Ya know what, ah actually had fun tonight. Ah'm glad ah decided to check on you." She dropped her voice. "Speakin' of, are you feeling alright?"

Pinkie nodded, and sighed softly. "I can bear it, yeah. I'm sorry for the whole kiss thing, by the way," she said meekly.

"Oh, there's no problem. It's nothin'," Applejack replied. "Ya know ya can always come talk ta me; Ah've been in quite a few difficult romances mahself. Well, bye now!" The orange mare walked out into the night, leaving Pinkie a bit shaken by her last comment. She shook her head, pushing the thought out of her mind, and turned back inside to her apple-scented living room.

She was glad she'd had somepony to talk to, especially one that she knew wouldn't tell anypony else. Keeping a secret alone is difficult, but sharing it with friends helps with the burden.

But now, she'd have to deal with this confusing new revelation, and plan for the future. Maybe the possible relationship wasn't hypothetical. It... could work. Perhaps. There wasn't really anything else Pinkie wanted, and for that she was grateful, but... this one thing was so important to her. She would give anything.

It wouldn't work, though. The odds were so stacked against her that it was close to impossible that the one pony she had a genuine crush on would actually like her back. But where there's a will...

Author's Notes:

[Edited]