This story is based in the Optimalverse and is inspired by Eakin's story, Friendship is Optimal: All the Myriad Worlds.

It was a perfect day. The sun hung like a huge figure 8 in the sky of yellow plaid.

Canterlot exploded in vast geysers of bacon-smoked-herring-flavored whipped cream and lava lamp fluid. A patchwork unicorn, with cheeks of puce and checkered flanks, sailed with the debris into the air, trailing streamers of smoke and inedible foodstuffs.

That had been the most intense and insane whoopie cushion she'd ever designed. The look on Celestia's face when she sat down on her throne and set it off was still etched into the unicorn's memory and it sent her into delighted laughter each time she thought of it.

She was amused to note that she was coming in for another one-point landing. She touched down squarely with her head on a giant boulder, making a loud gong noise, and bounced with a giggly scream into the lemon sky again, ricocheting off licorice clouds and lighting them up like pinball bumpers before arcing back down to the ground, penetrating the sod and leaving a long, long tree, house and garden-destroying dirt trail that came to a slow end at the edge of the Everfree forest. A tombstone popped up at the end of the dirt, displaying the word "TILT" in neon.

A draconequus sat nearby, nibbling at a china teaset as he sat on a stool made of flaming telephone books. He reached casually over to a nearby scoreboard and stamped a red X over another icon of Canterlot. The board had uncountable thousands of them.

He leaned over the grave and waited until she popped her head up, spitting out dirt and worms and shaking away the orchids that stuck out of each ear. He smiled down at her and spoke in his dry, lancy way.

"Are you still having the most amazing, fantastic, mind-buggering, toony, surreal, unphysical fun you've ever had in your life, little pony?"

She beamed up at him in joy. "You bet your scaly polymorphous ass I am. Thanks, DiscordAI!"

It was the best of all impossible worlds.

Author's Notes:

Yes, the shard number means something. Figure it out and win a prize.