Cupcakes Motherfucker
by xGeniPoni
First published
You’re a worker at the Ponyville Insane Asylum guarding an old friend - Pinkie AKA 'Pinkamena'.
You’re a worker at the Ponyville Insane Asylum; you’re guarding the newcomer, a cannibalistic pony who has a taste for pony cupcakes. You’re usually very calm when it comes to crazy. But this was different. You knew this girl from high school and were regretting this day. You suddenly hear a scream from behind and a large screech as the pony charges at the door, she looks straight at you through the tiny gap with large, stunningly blue bloodshot eyes. You can’t believe that this monster used to be the bright and happy popular girl named Pinkie Pie.
Hello! This is the author here~ I really hope you like this obviously Cupcakes-based fanfiction. The old version is in a separate chapter. So please check it out and tell me how and if I've improved!
Pluuus~ this story will be a sort of prequel to my newest story "Puppetry of the Insane".
Added 'OC' to the characters due to the fact that this is a story which YOU are a part of, you basically let your imagination choose your gender, looks and such. Though the personality is still made up, sorry. Can't please everyone, hah.
~ (c) ♥ Genivieve AKA Bethany Maree Edwina Symons. <3
'The Deep Reunion of Mere Acquaintances'
You’re a worker at the Ponyville Insane Asylum; you’re guarding the newcomer, a cannibalistic pony who has a taste for pony cupcakes. You’re slightly scared as you pace around outside the door; murmurs of insanity fill the air, creeping you out even more. Sure there are other guard ponies around you, but you don’t get along with others; you’re shy - like that Element of Kindness chick - the guard ponies don’t even notice you, or anyone in the Asylum for that matter, which is why you took such a shitty job in the first place.
You’re usually very calm when it comes to these types – the insane ones, the silly ones, all types of crazy. But this was different. You knew this girl from high school, and were regretting this day for a few months now, being the only Asylum in Ponyville. And with the current economical standards, getting a new job is like going to the Rainbow Factory, you’re fucked either way. You suddenly hear a scream from behind and then a large screech as the pony charges at the door, her hooves clawing at the steel as she looks straight at you through the tiny gap with large, stunningly blue bloodshot eyes. You can’t believe that this monster used to be the bright and happy, popular party-pony Pinkie Pie.
“Mmm, I bet you’re delicious, do you want some CUPCAKES? I could make you some if you let me out.” The filly growled out, different to how she used to sound. You could tell insanity had corrupted her soul.
“Uh, no thanks, Pink’, I already ate.” You said, sweating profusely as you notice how her voice has changed from the high-pitched voice from school, to this horrible slur of words and tones; a complete change of character - like she’s possessed.
“Aw, why not? Are you a scared little SHIT or somethin’?”
“No.” You said, rather emotionless.
“Well, you don’t sound too conVINCING.” The pony said as she began laughing maniacally.
At that, you just stopped talking, slowly lowering to the ground; getting way out of her range of sight. Pinkamena gave up too, sounding as if she went to sleep. So you were safe. For now.
After an hour, you began to think more about the old Pinkie, the girl you knew, but didn't exactly know. After three, you began feeling saddened. But after five hours of work – you were just plain confused, and wanted to know more.
You decided to look in. “Hmm…” You murmur to yourself, not seeing anything.
“Hey, Pink’? Are you there?” There was no answer. “Okay then, I’ll leave you alone, but just so you know, we were in the same Home Economics class together all throughout high school, the one Mrs. Cake taught.”
When you recieved no answer you huffed and went off on your break, allowing another pony to take over.
“That pony… she’s just so… fucked up now.” You said - confused, as you sat outside staring up at the night sky, leaning forward on the railings.
“Dude, we work at an Insane Asylum.” Said the light brown colt smoking beside you on the pavement, he had long chestnut brown hair which covered his hazel eyes. He looked and acted like a mix of stoner and metalhead. This annoyed you, but I guess he’s all you got.
“Well you didn’t grow up with her.” You said with a sigh as you looked down, closing your eyes.
“Touché,” The colt said with a serious tone.
“You don’t even know what that word means.”
“Shut up.”
Unfinished chapter, but will finish as soon as possible, especially seeing that I need to finish this before I even start my school project.
***Old Unedited Story***
You're a worker at the local Insane Asylum; you're guarding the newcomer, a cannibalistic pony who has a taste for pony cupcakes. You're slightly scared as you pace around outside the door; murmurs of insanity fill the air, creeping you out even more. You suddenly hear a scream from the straight-haired pink pony, a scream like no other, a scream filled with hate as the pony charges at the door, looking straight at you through the tiny gap in the door.
"Mmm, I bet you're delicious, do you want some cupcakes? I could make you some if you let me out." The filly growled out, even though she knew that it wouldn't work, she just knew that it would scare you. And it did.
"Uh, no thanks, Pink', I already ate." You said, sweating.
"Aw, why not? Are you scared?"
"No." You said, rather emotionless.
Pinkie laughed maniacally as she growled; "I will break out of this! My bloodlust will get too much."
You just stopped talking, sitting down so you aren't in her stare-range.
Pinkamena gave up too, going to sleep. So you were safe. For now.
After around five hours, with two breaks, you heard commotion in the room, but as you looked in the noise stopped. You couldn't see her through the gap so you slowly opened the door, nothing. You walked right in and still, it was empty.
"CUPCAKES, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU WANT SOME?!" screamed the pink flash as she fell on top of you, biting your ear as you hurried to get her off of you, you suddenly felt your bat hit your head and everything went blank.
You woke up in a daze of adrenaline and extreme pain within your stomach, throat and wings, all you remember is guarding Pinkamena Diane Pie and her breaking out and attacking you. All you smell is decaying flesh. You looked down and whined as you found yourself on a vice.
"I see you are awake." said a low voice from far across the room, all you could see was these blue eyes, but they looked red from the dim light.
You coughed, trying to speak, but it seems as if she cut so deep into your throat that it is affecting your speech, "ge' ayy" was all you could say...
"Well, well, well, looks as if someone is trying to communicate, what is it, little bitch? Do you want your friend?" The shadowy figure then picked up a decapitated head from the table beside her; the head of your friend from the front desk of the Asylum was all you saw before you as you tried to scream out for help. Your tears were clouding your vision as the pink mare with dark pink hair walked towards you with a scalpel, dropping your dear friend's head on the ground like trash.
"Let's see what we can do with you" the mare said with an evil grin as she placed the scalpel on your cheek, slicing it slowly as she watched the blood flow out. "Mmm, delicious" she said as she licked your cheek, seeming to get off on the torture. Your cheek stung as she cut it, but felt even worse when she licked it, as if she licked a salt-lick before she did so.
She then walked over to her tools, taking a huge butchers knife from the table and walking casually towards you, licking the blood off as if it was her favourite dessert.
"Now, don't be scared, I'm just going to take out all your delicious guts, nothing too serious." The evil mare said before slicing into your flesh, she was slicing up your stomach, beginning to slice through the flesh deep and with precision.
You couldn't talk, but you could make grunting noises, so you disapprovingly screamed at her as you felt the cold air on your insides.
"Now let me just make this last cut here, and, Ta-da! Time to harvest!" she said happily as she forced her hooves inside, slowly killing you as you felt your guts leaving your body.
In a matter of minutes, you were dead.
And turned into cupcakes.
Even though this version sucks, here's the link to the original Deviation.