A Thief Named James

By Silentblaze

To every, to all, and to my good friend, the late Mr. Harris, without whom the world has become less bright.

Prologue

Of all the thieves in all the world, none have accomplished so much—and at such a young age—as the notorious James the Human. Even today, ponies all over Equestria still speak in hushed, reverent tones when they tell stories of his legendary capers. His daring exploits, and grandiose style of thievery have both enraptured the imaginations of romanticists and enraged the living thunder out of authorities nationwide. If one wished to awe their friends, a pony might recall the time when James stole a high-value Rembrony painting in broad daylight from the Manehattan Art Museum’s private vault with nothing but a light bulb and a wooden cane. It was worth a staggering hundred million bits and was never seen again.

If one wished to astound, however, they would bring up the time when James paraded as a foreign emissary from a far-off land, invited himself to the Duke of Hoofington’s annual social, and made away with every piece of jewelry that the guests, and even the Duke himself, were wearing. James didn't leave just yet though. He also reportedly danced with the Duke’s daughter and swiped several priceless heirlooms out of the back-room safe. So crafty and slick was James, that nopony realized their valuables had been taken until later the next morning. By that time though, James was far, far away. Several continents away by most accounts, although the number might have been exaggerated over the years.

But if one wished to amaze, and leave his audience breathless with sheer, eye-popping stupefaction, then no story could compare to that of his very first villainous venture: a crime that has been both decried and exalted into mythical proportions; a larceny of the wildest scope—the Heist of the Grand Galloping Gala.

Would you like to hear the tale?

The story begins several years ago, when the long-forsaken Nightmare Moon had returned from her millennium imprisonment in the moon and rekindled her bond with her sister, reinstating the dual reign of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Young James had devised a plan that would assert himself as a preeminent figurehead in the criminal underworld. A plan that would be immortalized as one of the greatest heists ever pulled. The crime of the century. And all while during Canterlot's most prestigious, exclusive, and tightly guarded event of the decade.

In fact, he had been invited personally. . .