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A Time Traveler's Perspective

by Michael Goff

Chapters

Chapter 1

Today is the day that everything changes for me.

I look around, the entire landscape has been scarred by multiple battles. I don’t even know if I’d put it like that, a battle isn’t so one sided. This was more of a massacre. It’s a shock that I’m here, actually, but my hiding skills are good enough. The fact that my family helped me out back then, that might also have something to do with it.

Anyway, I’m one of the last humans.

I don’t want to think about how that happened.

The only upside is that I have all of these wonderful books. History, science, and even fiction are all at my fingertips. Apparently, it was in the year 5037 that humanity started to put all of their literature in one giant database. Even with all of the time I have, I haven’t been able to really read even one tenth of everything that is out there. Maybe part of it is because of something that I came across, something that I have been working to try to prove wrong.

‘Time travel is impossible’, that was essentially what one book came to the conclusion of. Maybe it had been my own arrogance that had led me to it, but arrogance is paying off soon. I put a few coordinates into the machine, the wrist-device that I’m now wearing. Before I go, I know that there is something that I have to do. Well, actually, there are a lot of things I have to do. I have to decide everything that I’m doing, where I’m going, and I have to decide some rules.

Ah, rules, the things that I flaunted when I started to make this device.

I look back to the past ten years with pride. Even though I had only been sixteen, I still started on it. Part of me had thought, at the time, that I would have gotten bored of it. Eventually, there would have been some sort of failure that would have destroyed my will to continue on the project. That hadn’t happened. My mom was a constant source of encouragement, even after my dad told me that I should have given up.

Then again, it was his book that had started this.

What are the rules that I have to follow today, though? That’s something that I need to decide before I decide anything else. I look up at the sky, and I try to figure out exactly what could possibly go wrong when it comes to time travel. That’s a field that a few have tried to consider, mostly in a theoretical sense. Some scientists assume that it would be impossible to touch your past self, or future self, that it would cause all of reality to die.

That’s an easy one.

That also meant that I couldn’t go back into my own timeline. That’s something that had been another point of argument between the differing scientists. Some said that it was something that could be done as long as your past self didn’t see your future self. As interesting as it might be to see me from another time, I think it would just be easier to steer clear of me.

Technology and history are other key things.

I have knowledge of events that have happened already in my time, but going back means I have foreknowledge. That’s something that could be dangerous. I have studied enough to know that every single event has a change on the world around it. Even something as small as stepping on a blade of grass could have much larger implications into the future. And that definitely takes out saving humanity from its destruction.

As much as I’d like to do that, I could theoretically cause horrible things to happen by trying to save as many people as possible.

This is all theory, really. I don’t even know if this will work. For all I know, this could end with me losing a hand to an explosion. That had almost happened before. It was only my quick thinking that saved my hand, I shut the thing down before it had exploded. Now, though, I have what I hope is a working prototype. Imagine what sort of things I can do if I perfect this.

Alright, I should write down those rule.

1. Don’t meet myself.

2. Don’t go into the past

3. Find a way to get a message to my parents to join me

Those are all of the things that I can think of.

“Come on, dinner time!” I hear my mom yell, as she does every day about this time. Every day we eat around sunset, and every day we eat the same things. We have some beans, we have some salad, we have some bread with some butter, and we have some milk. All of these things are scavenged remains. Eventually, we’re going to have to start growing things ourselves. Actually, no, they’re going to have to start growing them until I come back and get them from the future.

If this works, anyway.

Actually, this can wait until after dinner. I should at least have one more meal with them before I head off into the unknown. And that’s exactly what I do. The three of us, my parents and me, have a delicious dinner. My dad brings out some cake as dessert, after a meal that had steak in it. This is one of those things that I don’t know how to respond to. It feels weird that we’re going to eat something special on what seems to be an ordinary day.

Maybe I should ask what the occasion is.

“Something special happen today?” Maybe my dad will say that he had found more people. That would make the day amazing. Imagine if there were others. My dad looks over to my mom, who just chuckles and comes over to give me a kiss on the forehead. That doesn’t tell me anything, really, so I sigh. “I’m serious.”

“Really? I would have thought you’d remember your own birthday.” Of course my parents would remember my birthday. I should have known it was today, but before right now I didn’t.

My dad just chuckles. “Every year, same thing. I don’t know what to say. Either he’s the most forgetful person, or he’s that humble.” He winks, then comes over to give me a hug. “Ever since your sixteenth birthday, when I gave you those books of mine, you just seem out of it.” Almost as if he realizes that is a bad thing to say, he continues. “In a good way, of course, you’re just so focused on that project of yours. The one you said you’ll show us when you’re done.”

I wonder if he knows what the project is.

“I think I’ll finally be able to show you guys soon. I just have to work out a few more things, test them out, and then you’ll see.” This makes my dad look as though he’s worrying, which is something he does a lot. Back when the other model had almost exploded, I had told him. Even if this doesn’t work, I don’t think I’m going to tell him about anything bad happening. He’s worrying too much as is, I don’t need to add anything more to it.

“Tomorrow, maybe.”

My mom is the first to say something, as she starts to push my dad toward the door. “We won’t take up any more of your time then, Mr. Scientist. We both know you’ve been working really hard on whatever it is you’re doing.” I kind of feel bad not telling either of them. The two of them have been so supportive without knowing anything about what I’m doing. My mom deserves to know, but this is something that is best a surprise. I don’t even know how they’ll react to the idea of travelling in time. I know the initial reaction from my dad will probably be to try to disprove it.

There is one more stop that I want to make before I go through with this experiment. This is something that I do every so often, even though it doesn’t mean anything. Dad doesn’t like it when I go see it, this large glass container. It is roughly the size of a small person, maybe a seven year old child. The reason why he doesn’t want me to see it is because of his own worries. The thing that he doesn’t realize is that I already know the supposedly bad secret.

This was where I started my life. I can’t really say I care too much, though. They’re my parents, they’ve been taking care of me all of my life. I don’t think it really matters where I came from in the strictest biological sense. Maybe someday, later down the road, I will let him know that I have known all for over fifteen years now. Maybe he will realize that it doesn’t matter much to me.

That might make him feel a little better, I can’t be sure.

I walk out into a field, looking up at the stars. They’re beautiful tonight; that much is undeniable. I quickly look down to the device on my wrist, and then I think about one final thing that I probably need to do. If everything goes right, and I am able to go into the future, I don’t know when exactly I’ll come back. After all, I know better than to assume I’m going to get any closer than maybe the month of arrival. I have actually tried to stick with the year, just in case.

Right now is November 23, 5146.

Right now, though, I have a letter to write. After that, I need to get a couple more things and I can try this little experiment.

Dear mom and dad,

I know that this type of thing isn’t what you expect. There aren’t a lot of people out there, nobody from my understanding, so it might seem weird that I just disappear between the time of you leaving me and the next day. I don’t know what to say to dad, except to thank him for motivating me to do something that everybody thinks is impossible.

Only those who think they can change the world actually can, right?

I want to let you know exactly what I did, what I have been working on. I have been working on a device that breaks through time. It sounds dangerous, and that really doesn’t describe what it does. That just sounds really cool, don’t you think? In reality, I am going to use it to try to travel into the future. Eventually, there will be life on this planet again, I can just feel it.

And we should be there with it.

I don’t know when I’m going to be able to come back, but believe me that I will. And when I come back from a safe time, I am going to take you guys with me. We’ll all be able to live our lives happily, on earth, to the end of our days. I know that sort of subject doesn’t come up, and nobody likes to talk about it, but it just sounds really nice to me.

Maybe we’ll have amazing neighbors.

Until next time,

Your loving son.

All I need to do is get two more things. One of them is a blank journal, the other is a set of pens to write with. Even if I can’t see my parents for a long time, they’re going to get to know about the things that I have done while I was away. Maybe I can tell them about the species that I run into before we go. Good notes will make sure that they aren’t caught off guard. There’s absolutely nothing that can go wrong, aside from a giant explosion.

That definitely would be a bad end to an otherwise good day.

I look over the calculations one more time, I want to make sure that these are right. I think I have taken into account all of those pesky problems that my dad put in the book. I haven’t asked him about why he had written the book, why he studied the idea of time travel. Maybe when I come back, that’s another thing I will ask him about.

How far into the future should I go, anyway? I still hadn’t decided that much. I know how old the earth is, and I know how long it initially took for life to grow. Maybe it won’t take hundreds of millions of years this time, maybe something will happen that will speed it up. I decide that the best amount of time is twenty million years. That is still plenty of time for something to happen. Maybe we will be able to help shape the next inheritors of the earth.

That would be fantastic, absolutely fantastic.

With the idea in mind, and every decision already made, I grab the pens from right beside me. With them in my pocket, the empty blue journal in my hands, I push a few more buttons. I have to make sure that I have everything set up, or I might go anywhere. That is, of course, based on the assumption that I go anywhere at all. I assume that I will end up standing right here, just twenty million years into the future.

Assumptions are fragile things, but I push the button to initialize the attempt anyway.

Instantly, I regret that decision. The device starts to make a weird buzzing sound. If this thing blows up, I will have a hard time explaining it to my dad. Not only that, but that would ruin everything. I don’t think I’ll try again, I’d only have one more hand to lose. And I really need at least one hand. I won’t be of any use to my parents if I don’t have a hand.

They’re both going to need help around the house, after all.

And how much fun can you have with no hands anyway? That would make the rest of my life dull. Maybe, if that happens, I can get dad to come up with something. No, no, I need to be positive. I need to think that I can do this. Positive thinking brings positive results. I close my eyes, start to think happy thoughts, as I start to feel as though I am being pulled through something.

This isn’t pleasant at all.

The feeling stops, but I can’t help but worry about opening my eyes. It’s almost like a birthday present, to myself, and I really hope I like it. The only sign that I might is that I hear the sound of footsteps. That means that there are others. There might even be a new human race. Oh, there are a lot of them, too. I should probably open my eyes, greet the new species. Maybe they aren’t humans, maybe they’re aliens.

Or would I be the alien?

No time for that, I quickly open my eyes and look around. The first thing I notice is that there are a lot of spears being pointed at me. That makes sense, I am a complete stranger in their land. If they’re using spears, they probably have no idea where I came from.

Then I realize that those don’t look like hands. Oh, and the spears are being held by what look to be horses. It gets even better when I realize that a lot of them are slightly smaller than me. Whatever happened, I am definitely not awake.

This is obviously a dream.

“Well hello there, little guys. I come in peace. Now let’s get this dream over with so I can figure out where I really am.”

They look at each other for a few moments, and one of them steps out.

“I am Captain Armor. Please identify yourself. And tell me how you got here…”

He had a serious look on his face. He might not be carrying a spear like the other dream horses, but obviously he is the one in charge. Maybe when I wake up, I can start analyzing my dream to figure out that name. This psychology book I once read tells me that the name means something.

Maybe it means I have read too many fantasy books.

Back to the focus of my dream and how it is reacting to me.

Fine, my dream wants to play with me. I can play back. “My name is Captain Feathersword. Jack Feathersword to be more precise.” And how did I get here? Oh, that might be the best part of all, but I have to think of a funny thing. I doubt any of them want to know the truth of it anyway. Even if they do want to know the truth, I know better than to tell them. Then again, this is a dream and they already know.

Actually, sarcastic answers are probably best for my brain. It is my brain after all, I just have to make it funny. Wait, sarcasm, that’s it. “And I came here by means of the magic of sarcasm.”

Apparently the idea of me magically transporting myself in here with sarcasm didn’t sit well with one of my dream manifestations. Soon enough I felt something smack against the back of my head, and I fell to the floor unconscious. At least this dream didn’t last too long, there are a lot of things that I need to do when I wake up in the future.

This is obviously not it. I know with one hundred percent certainty that the future is not ran by talking horses. The sheer thought that it is, that’s enough to drive anyone to insanity.

Chapter 2

I don’t know how much time has passed since I was unceremoniously knocked out. As my eyes start to open, I glance around. This isn’t some empty plot of land, so that’s always good. That’s where the good news ends, of course, because of where it is. This looks to be some sort of cell, concrete with some metal bars that will prevent me from escaping. Well, no, it can’t really prevent me from leaving if I really want to.

Nothing stops time travel.

Another good note is that I know I’m definitely in the future now. I can just feel it. A look down at my device shows exactly what year I’m in, which is exactly the one that I thought I would have been at. Twenty million years into the future, and they used what looks to be medieval style jail cells. Maybe I should say something about that. On the plus side, though, there’s less than no chance that I’m going to be dealing with those crazy dreams of mine.

Maybe I need to figure out what caused it. I need to know what caused those dreams before I bring my parents along. All of that, and I need to figure out if the machine did anything permanent to my brain. As unlikely as that is, I don’t want to bring my parents to the future if it damages their brains. I would be a horrible person to do that, not to mention a terrible son.

Okay, time for me to be serious. I need to figure out why I’m in this prison. I take a couple of steps forward, only to look out and see that this isn’t right at all. Either I’m continuing this dream, which doesn’t seem likely as my head still hurts a little, or this is the future. If this is the future, that means I was completely wrong about one major fact.

There is no human race, there are only talking colorful horses.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” The idea of being surrounded by these creatures, as adorable as they are, just isn’t something that I think is a good one. If this is the future, it means that it will happen regardless. This means that I’d have to find a time before or after them. At some time between the fifty second century and today, there are talking ponies that come into existence. That doesn’t make any sense, I don’t know how that could have happened.

Finding a good time could take forever, even if it is possible.

I look at two guards, the only two guards out there, who seem to be watching the wall more than they’re watching me. I don’t really know what to say about that. “Hey, fellas, you wouldn’t happen to be able to tell me why I’m here, would you?” Neither of them turn to face me, though I do hear what sounds like a sigh. Apparently, neither of them expected to be asked anything.

Maybe they hoped I would just disappear or something, I’m not sure.

“You’re here until we figure out what happened, who you are, how you came here, and why you came here.”

I don’t even know where here is, other than earth. That little piece of knowledge isn’t even something that I can take for certain, considering everything that has gone on already. Earth had horses at one point, I had read that, but they lacked the capability of speech. That wasn’t the only thing though, none of them were as colorful as I had seen before I had been put here.

So obviously they aren’t the same species.

I try to think of all of the things that they can be, if this is real. They could be an alien species that wants to scare me. They could be an alien race of horses. They could still be human, but genetically modified to look like humans. Actually, that last one doesn’t even sound realistic. Humans are proud of their two legged nature, their hands, and their normal sized noses.  Even the person with the biggest nose doesn’t have anything on a horse.

I need to get out of this cell.

“I will be honest and say that I have no real clue how I got here specifically.” It likely isn’t a good idea to bring up time travel, or that I plan on moving more people here. They don’t even seem to know what to do with one person, I don’t know what would happen if I happened to bring two more. “But I came here because I wanted to find a place to stay.” One of the two looks back at me, a confused look on his face. At least, it looks confused to me.

“Why not just stay where you were at?”

Another question I don’t think I should answer completely. “It got old. I mean, imagine living in the middle of nowhere, just your family. Now, my family are good people… but I’ve lived with them for a good twenty years. Time for me to move out, get a place of my own.” I wonder if that’s going to be enough, if he’s going to trust that explanation. It definitely isn’t the truth, but sometimes there are better answers than the truth.

“And your name?” Something about this seems to make him happy. It’s almost as if they really just want some explanation. “Is it really Jack Feathersword?”

“Afraid not, it was a joke in poor tastes.” I pinch my own cheek, just to prove to myself again that I’m awake. “Haven’t exactly been asked my name by talking horses before, after all. Big universe, though, so who knows?” I look at the ceiling. Something tells me that the two of them are giving me a strange look. It’s almost like a sixth sense of mine, I can just sense when people are giving me weird looks.

Apparently, it translates well over to ponies.

Apparently English does, too, which is definitely a benefit to me.

One of them looks to the other. “I have to present this to the Princesses. They’ll know what to do.” The other simply nods to him, though the line itself gave me some important knowledge. There are princesses, which mean there must be a king or queen. Not only that, but it makes this entire thing make sense. The spears, the royalty, and cell, it all fits into a theme. This society has only advanced far enough to be considered where humanity’s Middle Ages were.

I don’t know how I can use that to my advantage, or to get out of here, but there has to be something.

I could always address them as ‘your majesties’. If I’m remembering my reading correctly, that’s how you’re supposed to address royalty. That might show them that I’m respectful, which gets me out of the cell. It doesn’t do much more, but one step at a time is most important. Once I get out of here, I can figure out what the next step is. There is more than one thing that I can do after I get out, after all. While I wait, I might as well list them.

I can figure out if this place is safe, and just use this as a destination. Talking horses are weird, but the safety of my family is more important. The fact that they can talk means that they might make good conversationalists. Another idea is to go back and not think about this at all. I could just pretend that I found nothing, or that it isn’t that something that we want. The third thing that comes to mind is that I can go forward and try to find a time that isn’t ruled over by talking horse. The final thing that comes to mind is to roam this world to find an area that might have something other than talking horses.

It is about this time that a pink horse shows up.

“Princess Cadance. It is an honor to meet you. But are you sure you want to be around the prisoner? We have no clue what he might be capable of, he might be a threat.” At this point, I really don’t know what to say. So there are horses who can talk, horses with horns, horses with wings, and now horses with both horns and wings. Well, at least there’s one horse with both a horn and wings. Things are starting to make even less sense than before, but I might as well go with it.

This is my chance to get out.

“I promise to not do anything, your majesty.” Another thing I remember is that people used to bow to royalty, so I do the same. This isn’t something I’m used to, but this entire situation is something that I’m not used to. I might as well try to get out of here as quickly as possible, and without causing myself too much pain. I’ve read some horrible things about what medieval kings used to do to the people who they threw into their dungeons.

Three princesses, though, that king must be very busy with the queen.

I hear a chuckle, and I stand back up. “He doesn’t look like much of a threat to me.” That might have something to do with the fact that I’m in a cage.

“I have to admit, though, he’s bigger than I expected him to be.”

She seems to be studying me, though her expression is a smirk. Then she snaps to attention, almost as if she realized she has done something wrong.

“Not to ignore you … whoever you are. I just wanted to see what all the commotion was about. Apparently, Captain Armor doesn’t know why you’re in here either.”

I shrug, she shrugs, and the guard just clears his throat.

“We’re going to make sure he isn’t a threat to anypony out there.” And there it is, a weird word. They might speak English, but it has some words I don’t know. Anybody becomes anypony, or maybe it’s anyone becomes anypony. Maybe it’s both. At least that tells me that they don’t really call themselves horses, they call themselves ponies.

Makes sense, they’re small horses mostly.

“I’m no threat.” That isn’t something that I can really prove easily. There is one piece of knowledge that I have that might help.

“I actually don’t even know where I am. The last thing I remember is a flash of bright light, and then the spears were all pointed at me.”

That last part if slightly true, which I know makes for a better lie. The device that is hidden on my wrist did make it to where the last thing I saw was a flash.  Cadance looks into my eyes, almost as if she’s trying to decide if I’m telling the truth.

In the end, she just continued to smile at me.

“It sounds like somepony was teleported her by magic.”

That might seem like the truth to a lot of people. Science often seems like magic to those that don’t understand it. That is doubly true if it’s new technology that barely anybody understands. If somebody were to walk up to me and show the device, I would definitely think it’s magic. Well, okay, maybe not.

I know magic isn’t real.

For some reason, I can’t help but say something about that. “Magic isn’t real, is it? I mean, it’s all science, right?”

This earns laughter, though it doesn’t sound like she’s mocking me. “Afraid it is.” With that, I see her horn light up. A bucket in my cell starts to move, straight up. It’s about three feet into the air before it’s dropped. The look on my face as I see it, one of complete disbelief, apparently amuses the guard.

“Okay, that’s amazing. How did you do that?”

“Magic.”

That doesn’t even seem like a good answer. “Listen, why don’t I let Auntie Celestia explain it better.” She looks as though she’s going to let me out, but now both guards are standing in front of her. Apparently, the other guard had shown back up at some point.

“Are you sure about this, your majesty? This could all be a trap.”

“He has nothing other than the clothes on his back. I doubt he can do anything to anypony here.” The door of the cell lit up, just like the bucket had, and soon enough it was open. “Besides, he went down with a single kick to the back of the head… I’m told. If you really feel so worried, why don’t you join us? You can watch the scary monster over there.”

That’s what I am to them? I guess there are worse things.

“I should probably call you something other than monster, that’s just rude. Why don’t you tell me your name?” There is something about the request, something about the fact that she’s been nothing but kind, that makes it seem like a small request. This might be, of course, because this is nothing but a small request.

“Roger Fleitas.”

“Well, Roger, I’m sure Celestia will be happy to meet you.”

I don’t know why she’d say that. Royalty, at least those in the books I read, were hardly thrilled with meeting the common folk. I don’t think I’m royalty, so that makes me a commoner.

One question pops into my head, though, as I start to walk. If this pink pony can do this, what does that say about the others? If she’s bringing me to Celestia, it means that the hierarchy of this group has Celestia having more authority. If that is because of strength, it means I’m going to be meeting a pony that could probably kill me at any point if she wanted to.

I definitely needed to behave.

As we keep walking, Cadance clears her throat. Apparently, she just said something. “So, since I got you out of prison… I’d hope you could tell me more about yourself. I mean, I’ve never seen a hairless ape before. If Twilight were here, she’d probably be able to tell me more about your kind. But she’s not here, so…”

She looks at me, a hopeful expression on her face.

“I’m afraid I don’t know of many of my kind . As far as I know, I’m the only one here.” That is the truth, I don’t know of any more humans in this future. “I haven’t even seen my parents in what feels like forever.” In terms of time, it could either be a few hours or over twenty million years. It really depends on how I look at it.

Her expression changes to a sad one. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you were alone.”

“Completely by choice. We all have to grow up eventually, and I decide growing up meant moving away to make my own life.” This lie is becoming bigger and bigger, but at the same time it’s becoming easier for me to tell. “Nothing to be sorry about.” Almost out of instinct, I rub the back of my head. It hurts a little, but I can feel some blood that was likely from whatever hit me in the back of the head before. “So, what is this place anyway?”

I might as well know that.

“This is the castle in Canterlot.”

At about this time, I see an even bigger pony. She’s completely white, and she has flowing hair. I don’t mean this as anything other than a blatant description. This has to be something else that’s magic, but I don’t know how to ask about it. As soon as she sees me, there is a shocked look on her face. Her eyes then move to everybody in the room, and she says one quick order.

“I will deal with him alone, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

I really don’t know if I like this idea. None of the others do, either, or at least it doesn’t seem like they do. We all have something else in common, too, in that we don’t have any power over what’s going to happen here. I can only stand there and wait, maybe for my demise, and the others simply leave. The only thing that makes me feel better is when Cadance says one thing.

“See you later.”

“I don’t know how you can exist, you just can’t.” I have to wonder what she means. “I’ve read all about you, humans you are called. Homo-Sapiens-Sapiens.” That was the scientific name, so I simply nod and she continues. “But you’re all… gone. There aren’t any more humans on earth, and there were never any in Equestria.”

Well, this is interesting. At the very least, I’m learning more and more about this place as I go along. At this point, I am up to a few things. This is a castle in Canterlot in the country of Equestria. Or it might be called a kingdom, or a princessdom. No, no, I know that there is a king somewhere. I have read enough about royalty to know that there is always a king. That is why these places are called kingdoms.

“Well, your majesty, you have it partially right. Humanity is all gone, or at least mostly.” If she knows this much about the human race, then there is no reason for me to just lie. “I would rather not talk about what happened, though.” With that, she nods and I continue. “Actually, the reason why I’m here has to do with that. Even where I’m from, there aren’t that many humans. I was hoping I might find a place to stay, and bring my parents.”

That seems to earn me a confused look.

“Have you tried living with just two people? They’re nice, but mom and dad get a little … well, variety is the spice of life, right?” I don’t want to come out and say that talking to just two people eventually wears on a person. I know that they feel the same, new people are always interesting. “Besides, if something happens to them, nobody could help … because there is nobody.”

I don’t know why I’m telling her this, there’s nothing that she can do about it beyond simply letting me stay.

“There is something else that is I don’t quite understand.” There is probably a long list of things that this could be. “How did you get here? Even you just admitted that there aren’t any more humans, and you mentioned getting your parents. Where have you been all this time?” When I rink about it, that is an interesting way of asking.

I really should answer her, but that takes away part of the mystery. Then again, if I refuse to answer she might just flat out say no. I will refuse to tell that many people, or even ponies, but she is royalty after all. Who knows? This might turn out to be an amazing thing, telling her. “Funny you should mention time.” That earns me another confused look. “It’s been a long time since I saw my parents. I would go so far as to say … millions of years since I saw them.”

That earns a look of surprise.

“Yep, made this thing myself,” I say as I show off the device on my wrist. “This is going to be my ticket back, when I go get my parents. Human engineering at its finest.”

Beyond her being royalty, I kind of feel nice telling this to somebody. Not only that, but she seems to give off an aura of calm when she isn’t telling me that I don’t exist. Whatever it is, I hope she doesn’t ask too many questions. I kind of like there being some mystery to me here.

First comes a sad expression, as if she just realized something bad is going to happen. I know that can’t be true. I’ve been studying this for a while. As far as I know, nothing bad happens by travelling in time. After the sad expression comes one of contemplation. I wonder what she’s thinking about. If I’m lucky, maybe she’ll tell me.

“I might be able to help you.” She finally says, after a couple of minutes.

“But I have to be sure that you’re not a threat to my little ponies.” I don’t know if I like where this is going. It is so much harder to prove that you’re not a threat than to prove that you are.

“And that is why I’m going to have you watched for a while by some of Equestria’s most capable ponies.”

I sigh with relief. That definitely is better than I had thought it would be. I had thought that she might have something else planned, some sort of test. I am really bad at tests sometimes.

“In fact, I think I’m going to send for a chariot and a couple of ponies right now. This will be a test, you might say. I don’t think I have to tell you that failure is not an option.” I simply nod, there isn’t much else for me to really do. I might not like the idea of being watched, really, but there doesn’t seem to be much of a better choice.

“Before I go, is there anything you wish to ask me?”

A thousand and one questions appear in my head. I could ask her about why she has a horn and wings, how magic supposedly works, if there is a class system, who the ponies that are going to be watching me are, where the king is, and a good many things that would give me an insight into how their world and how Equestria works. In the end, though, I know that she’s a princess. There’s probably a lot on her plate.

“I could ask you questions all day, your majesty, but there is one thing that I can’t learn anywhere else.”

“And what might that be?”

“How do you get your hair to wave like that? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.”

That seems to earn me the equivalent of a facepalm, only with what I assume is called a hoof, and then she chuckles and looks into my eyes. “I never bothered to learn why it happens, to be honest.” And with that, she turns away and starts to walk. Apparently, there are going to be two ponies, at least two ponies, watching me do whatever I’m going to do. That, of course, leaves me wondering what I’m going to be doing during that time.

I also wonder who they’re going to get to watch me.

Chapter 3

It doesn’t take long before I see one of the guards approach me.

Blue hair, horn, this is the one that had approached me before. This is the one that I had been sarcastic to, told him that fake name. The expression that I should see is anger, or frustration, but instead I see a smile on his face. That’s probably the most confusing thing about it. Another thing that I’m wondering is why I would get a Captain to be watching me.

Surely there are more important things for a Captain to do.

“Wow, I must be pretty important to get a Captain stalking me around…”

“Not stalking, watching.” To me, they were kind of the same thing. This is one of those things that I know better to argue with him about, though, because I would probably end up losing. Even if I won, he would probably be in a bad mood and that wouldn’t be good for me at all.

“And I have a duty to do around here, so I’m just here to tell you about a change in plans. You’re going to have two of the guards escort you to Ponyville, to see if you can fit into society. You’ll find out who you’re going to be dealing with when you get there. I’d tell you about her, but … I’m going to let that be a surprise.”

A bag hovers over to me. “I’m also supposed to give you this back. We had to take it to make sure that nothing dangerous was inside.”

Up until now, the journal had been completely out of my thoughts. I know I need it, though, because of the fact that it’s part of the reason why I’m here at all anyway. I have to document these ponies, I have to know if they’re safe to be around, and I have to make sure that the society functions well enough to trust.

That all will take time and research.

That worries me. I’m not going to know anything about the pony who is going to be watching over me, aside from gender. That doesn’t even tell me much, because the difference in size between males and females seems to be varied. Princess Celestia is much larger than any of the others, but Princess Cadance seems to be about the same size as some of the males, like Captain Armor. That doesn’t even tell me if there’s a strength difference, or any non-obvious biological differences.

At the same time, though, that makes this exciting. Maybe there would be a surprise, a good surprise at that. Maybe this is going to turn out to be the simplest thing I have ever done. “I look forward to meeting her, Captain Armor.” The worry comes back a little when he actually chuckles at the response, and puts a hoof on my arm.

“We all say that at first.”

I really don’t want to know what that means. It’s a good thing I don’t, because two flying ponies end up showing up with a chariot. By the time I look back, the good Captain is already gone. “If you wouldn’t mind getting in, we can take you to Ponyville within half an hour.” Well, it’s a good thing I’m not afraid of heights.

Otherwise, this would be terrible.

By the end of the flight, I think I have discovered a new phobia of mine. Before the trip, I hadn’t known that I’m scared of flying. When the chariot lands, though, I can hardly stop myself. I quickly jump out, and kiss the ground.

“Oh my gosh, this is the best land that has ever been. I missed you so much.” As I do this, a couple of ponies stop and stare at me. A few of them back up, almost as if I have some sort of disease, and then most of them use a tried and true method for dealing with something strange.

Most of them seem to want to ignore me out of existence.

There is one, however, that quickly walks up to me. She’s purplish with blonde hair. If I had read more about colors in my past, I could probably have a better set of words to describe her. Her hair looks … well, it looks really unique. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anybody with that hair style. Then again, I can’t say I’ve seen that many people recently in general. All of that isn’t even mentioning the fact that all of these ponies seem to have rather unique ways of doing their hair.

It makes mine look plain by comparison.

“I take it you’re Roger.” That is a good guess, considering I’m the only human here. Everybody else is just a pony. I know better than to say any of that, though, especially the part where I refer to them as just ponies. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that she might not take too kindly to that. She holds out one of her hooves, almost as if she wants me to shake it.

That’s a normal greeting, so I do it.

“My name is Cloudkicker.”

I don’t even know what to make of that name. Maybe this is a normal name in this land, and my name is the weird one. Maybe this is a weird name and my name is the normal one. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, those are the only names that I really know. That, and now I know the name Cloudkicker. With that pattern, I obviously should expect somebody to be named ‘Spike’ or ‘Dogcatcher’ or maybe even ‘Rusty Nail’.

Or maybe they’re using them to describe what they do. Shining Armor protects things, Cloudkicker kicks clouds, Cadance sings or does something musical, Luna has something to do with night … maybe she parties a lot, and Celestia does … I’ve got nothing. I don’t even know how to work with that. I know that a celestial body is a heavenly body. Maybe she’s some sort of religious figure, maybe she deals with the religion of this place.

Name problems aside, I wonder what type of pony they left me with. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ma’am.”

“Ma’am?” She fakes shock. “Do I look like a ma’am to you? A ma’am is old. Am I old?”

I really probably should not have said that. And I know, from every book that I have read, that the correct response here is to make sure she knows she doesn’t look old. Maybe I can compliment her on her appearance. That is something that all books agree that women like. They like being praised for their youth and beauty, which I can do right now.

“No, no, Cloudkicker. You don’t look old at all, you’re a beautiful young….” I don’t know the word for female horse for the life of me, or at least it isn’t coming to me instantly. I’ve read the dictionary, I should know this. “Mare.” That’s the ticket, it finally came to me. By the time that I say it, though, she’s already starting to laugh. I really hope she isn’t laughing at me.

“Oh, calm down, I  just joking.” Her hoof moved to touch my chin. Her expression changed dramatically. “Though, ya know, if you think I’m beautiful…”

Oh boy, this is not the type of thing I want happening. I can’t say I’m attracted to her like that. “I… ummm… maybe we should just move on.” That feeling that people get when they’re blushing, the blood rushing to their face, that’s definitely here.

“You’re so much fun.”

I really don’t know if I like this place now.

“We’re going to get you set up with a place of your own eventually, but right now you’re going to have to stay with me.” I get the feeling that this isn’t going to end well. I don’t even know much about her, beyond the fact that she just freaked me out a little. Then she stops, and turns. “Good thing I live down on the ground. Several pegasi make cloud houses, and you wouldn’t be able to stay up there.

Yep, good thing she isn’t sending me to my death. Also, good thing I’m getting some names for these subspecies. Pegasi is short for pegasus. If I had to guess, the horned ones might be called unicorn. That only makes sense, as we seem to be going from old myths. Well, considering what I’m looking at they’re hardly myths.

She turns, looks at me, studies my clothes, and then rubs her chin. “Actually, there’s something I’m wondering about you, Roger.” She points out, toward my clothes. “Why do you wear those anyway? It isn’t some big formal event or anything.” Another piece of information about ponies that should have been obvious. Celestia wears jewelry, the guards wear armor, Cadance wears jewelry, and a few ponies seem to be wearing a few things. Overall, though, they’re all naked by my perspective.

A nudist group overall. I really need to make sure I don’t offend her, though. She’s the one making the decision as to whether or not I’m safe.  “No real reason.” I start to remove my shirt as we move, earning me a few stares as we continue to the house that I’m going to be staying at.

“So, you’ve probably got a lot of questions. I’m sure I can answer a few of them while we get back to my place.”

There are a lot of questions. We could spend days talking about society, the differences between the species, how they come up with names, but there is something that comes to mind. I swear, I am not looking at her butt for any reason beyond the fact that I think I see a picture. In fact, I do see a picture. That means she got a butt tattoo. This is the first one I have noticed, so it bears asking about.

“So … not to sound rude, but is there a reason why you have a tattoo on your butt?”

I can tell that she’s having a hard time not laughing. “Take a look around, you’ll see a lot more of them.” I listen, and she’s right. Every single pony around, or at least most of them, have the same tattoos on their butts. “Those are called cutie marks. They show us what we’re good at.” That tells me so much, and at the same time it tells me nothing.

“So you’re good at… covering the sun with clouds?”

“Well, it’s rarely cut and dry like that. Some of them are, but a lot of us have to look into their meaning a little deeper.” At this point, I’m carrying my shoes and socks. It isn’t easy to walk and remove your shoes, it really isn’t. “See something you like while you were checking out my flanks?” Yes, another word is now a part of my new vocabulary. I also have no clue how to respond to that last part.

“So when you figure out what you’re good at, you get a tattoo?”

“Nah, they just show up.”

This culture, and this species, intrigues me. They rely on magic for everything, even telling them what they’re good at. That’s such a new concept to me. It would make everything a lot easier if one day something shows up on a person’s rear end that tells them what they’re good at. It certainly would cut down on people feeling like they have nothing going for them.

And by now, my pants are being held along with what remains of my underwear.

I probably should not have ripped off my underwear, I might need them later.

When we get to the house, she looks back at me. I’m holding all of my clothes, even my torn underwear, with a bag on my back. This definitely isn’t my finest moment, but it does earn me what can only be described as a look of shock. “Wow, you’re pretty good at that whole… taking your clothes off thing. I didn’t even notice that you were doing it, and we didn’t slow down at all.”

It is about this time that she shoves me quickly into the house. I stumble, trip, and drop everything onto the floor. I really need to ask her why she did that when she gets inside, if she even does. I stand back up, my clothes can stay there for now, and I head over to a window. She’s outside talking with a pink pony, who has pink hair. Eventually, the new arrival is given a direction and bounces away.

That doesn’t seem like a good way of moving at all.

As soon as she gets into the house, she holds up a hoof. “Sorry about that, Roger. I just … I didn’t expect for her to show up so soon. But I sent her off to go find you at Sweet Apple Acres, so she’s going to be looking for a while. Good thing she didn’t actually see you.” I worry to ask why, but some questions just need to be asked.

“Why would it be so bad if she found me?”

“Way too soon.” That doesn’t tell me anything. “She would insist on throwing you some sort of party, tonight. I have to figure out how the others would react to a strange hairless monkey going around.” I’m starting to really dislike that term. I have hair, a full head of hair, arm hair, and other hair. “Besides, we have some things we have to sort out before you go anywhere.” Her hoof moves to point at my clothes. “You better pick up after yourself, I’m not your mom.”

I wonder if that’s it.

“And I figured I could get to know you a little better…” I really hope she doesn’t mean in any perverted way. The type of comments she’s been making recently has me worrying a little. “But first, to show you the guest room.”

“Sure thing, to all three.” I move over, pick up the clothes. She leads, I follow, and eventually we’re in a rather sparse looking room. It has a bed, a window, a table, and that’s it. Apparently, she doesn’t entertain guests often, or maybe she’s just not the type to splurge. I don’t know enough about her to judge either way. When I sit my clothes on the table, I look over to the bed. It looks comfortable enough, if a little small. “Lucky thing I curl up at night.”

It seems that everything I say earns a laugh from a pony.

“Yep, I think they have bigger beds. Might try to get you one eventually.”

“So, you have questions about me?”

That seems to be something that earns a giant grin. “Oh boy, do I. Let’s start with the basic, Roger, and tell me what you like to do.”

“I do a lot of reading, building, and reading.” She looks like the idea itself bores her, so I continue. “Where I come from, there isn’t a lot to do.”

“Ever tried banging?”

Instantly, I feel incredibly uncomfortable. “No, I can’t say I have.”

“Wanna bang?”

Another thing I don’t know how to respond to. “I really don’t know how I feel about … well, you’re ponies, I’m a hairless mon- human, I am a human.”

“If ya don’t know, maybe you should try it sometime.”

I do like trying new things. No, no, this is not the type of thing that you just try. This is one of those things that happen certain times between certain people. I just have to tell her no and call it good. She will probably understand completely. I open my mouth, but the words don’t come. I clear my throat, open my mouth again, but the wrong words come out. “Maybe eventually.”

Am I hearing myself correctly? Did I just say eventually? I really need to figure out a way to make my mouth say what I want it to.

That seems to placate her for now. “So, why are you so … hairless? Did you get it all cut off, aside from a few places?”

That is actually a decent question, aside from maybe the wording. “Well, I think we just sort of … grew out of having hair. By the time that I was born, this is all we had. Evolution at its finest.” That earns a nod from her, which means they at least know something about evolution. That makes sense, they might have evolved from horses that existed back during my time.

“And you called yourself a human.” I nod. “You don’t look anything like those pictures that Lyra has. Open your mouth.” As I do, she looks. “Some sharp teeth, but not all of them. And that’s not even going on the fact that you don’t sparkle in the sunlight. And you have a lot more color than those pictures, a lot more pink-colored. Not as pink as Pinkie Pie, mind you, but definitely pink-ish.”

I wonder who this Pinkie Pie is. The only one I have seen that is pink is the one that had been outside looking for me.

~ A few hours~

I am surprised she asked so many questions. She wanted to know about hands, and why my feet have toes. She wanted to know how I walk so easily on two feet. A couple of the questions seemed a little odd. One of them was about if I am a dad, another about being in a relationship, and she even asked about why my nose is so small. I’m still glad I didn’t point out that their noses are the ones that seem large to me, instead of mine being small.

I look out of the window, the smell of food starting to waft into the room. Maybe this means that whatever she’s cooking, she’s done with. It smells like tomatoes, which is good because I like tomatoes. They go good on a hamburger, though I don’t smell that. I don’t even know if ponies eat meat, which would definitely be a downer if it turns out that they don’t.

Cloudkicker walks in, a smirk on her face. “I made some tomato soup, it’s delicious. Come get some while it’s hot.”

That sounds really good.

As soon as I get a bowl and sit down, she looks at me. “I never really asked you what you eat. I hope you like it, this is the first time I’ve cooked in a while.” I look down at the soup, and then take a bite.

This is delicious.

“I can eat just about any type of food, really. No allergies, not picky.”

“But what do humans typically eat.” That is quite the nice question. I would expect that she would just make whatever she likes and that she’ll just call it a day. It isn’t like I have any choice in food. If I don’t like what she cooks, I just don’t eat. Or maybe she is just one of those types of people … errr … ponies that wants to make their guests feel like guests. Then again, I’m hardly a guest. I’m a person who she is watching because she has to.

She just happens to be a lot nice than I had thought my watcher would be.

“Humans, and thank you for not calling me hairless monkey, can eat just about anything. Some people don’t eat meat, some people do, and some people even eat bugs.” It’s the mention of bugs that gets a change of expression.

“I’ve heard of ponies eating meat before, but bugs? Ewww.”

“Agreed.” I take another bite. “This stuff is really good, what did you put in it?”

“Tomatoes, obviously, and the rest if a family secret.”

That’s no fun.

The rest of the meal goes by with fairly few questions. It seems like she enjoys her own cooking as much as I do. Actually, it seems she enjoys her own cooking even more than I do. I have about a quarter of my bowl left when she’s done with hers. It’s only when the meal ends, and by that I mean that I finish my bowl, that she stands up. When I look up to her, she asks me a question. “Do you need anything before I head out?”

I’m not sure what she means by either of those things. I don’t know what I would need, and I am curious about where she’s going. I might as well ask before she leaves. “Where ya heading?”

“Sun’s Flank is a nice little bar, I might not be back until tomorrow.” I don’t think I want to know what she’s going to be doing at the bar that isn’t drinking.

“Nope, I have everything I need. Probably going to get some sleep… today’s been interesting to say the least.” I also need to put some information down, get that out of the way.

With a nod, she walks out. As a guest, I wash the dishes before I head to my current bedroom. I get out my journal and a pen, then sit down on the bed. I don’t plan on putting too much detail into some of these things.

Land of Equestria

-Ran by ponies that have all horns and wings

-Possibly a monarchy

-Cities of Canterlot and Ponyville show a weird naming scheme.

Unicorns

-Magic using

-have horns

Normal ponies

-No known data

Pegasi

-Flight with wings, though their body mass shouldn’t allow it

-Can sit, lay, stand on clouds… haven’t confirmed, just going by what Cloudkicker has said

Naming schemes

-Ponies are named based on… I have no idea. It seems as though they go for blunt descriptions sometimes

-Cities are named for pony related things

Celestia

-Princess

-Biggest of them all

-Possibly leader of the country’s religion

-Flowing hair, multi colored

-White

Luna

-Possibly leader of night-time things

-Probably has horns and wings

-Unknown if her hair is like Celestia’s

Cadance

-Pink

-Princess without flowing hair, also multi colored

Shining Armor

-White with blue hair

-Captain of the Guard

Cloudkicker

-Purplish with yellow hair

-Sex-crazed

General pony characteristics

-Mark shows up at some point to show what they’re good at. More data is required about this phenomenon.

-Trusting, they take me at my word

That is all I can think of at this point, so I put it back in my bag and lay down. Maybe it’s something about the day, but sleep comes pretty easy.

Chapter 4

Both of my eyes open as the sun streams into the window. Maybe I should ask about getting some sort of blinds, this could be something that gets really annoying in the future. That will be a second thing that I need, right after the bigger bed. I had overestimated my ability to curl up, my feet had still stuck out a couple of times over the course of the night. It wasn’t enough to keep me awake, but I would rather not have to deal with that for any longer than I have to.

On another note, I never wake up at sunrise.

Maybe I’m awake because I went to sleep so early, it was dusk when I had gone to sleep.

I yawn, stretch, and stand up. Oh right naked. I start to wonder if I should put the clothes back on, but the underwear are still ripped.  That wouldn’t be so bad, really, but I just feel weird when I wear pants without underwear. And there’s no point for me to just wear a shirt. I guess nudity is just the way that it’s going to be here. All of the ponies are doing it, so it really can’t be all that bad of an idea.

I am going to hate it when I bring my parents here.

Maybe I can convince them to keep their clothes on. I pull out the journal, just to make sure that I have it written down. It likely doesn’t need to be written down, but I’m writing everything else anyway. Besides, there might be a little time before I go back. It might slip my mind to tell them before it is too late, and then … it’ll be too late.

Note to self: Parents must remain clothed

I even put an underline under it, so it sticks out.

There’s nothing more for me to do in here, I might as well get some breakfast. That leads me to wonder what they eat for breakfast around here. It seems like a minority eat meat, and they likely eat something with oats. I seem to remember a book saying that horses eat oats. Maybe they’ll have oatmeal. Then again, I don’t remember reading anywhere about horses doing a lot of the things that these ponies seem capable of doing. So maybe I should stop going back to my previous knowledge and focus on figuring it out for myself.

First, though, breakfast.

I sit the journal in the bag, and step out into the kitchen. With there being a distinct lack of Cloudkicker coming home last night, that I had heard anyway, there’s no expectation of her being there. And while there’s no expectation, there she is sitting down and eating a bowl of oatmeal. “Oh hey, morning Roger.” She motions for me to get a bowl as well, and that’s exactly what I do. If last night’s meal was any indication, she won’t have messed this up. And contrary to popular belief, it is possible to mess up with oatmeal.

She does not disappoint.

“So, I have the rest of the week, five more days, off of work.” I look at her confused. I had been told that she was in the reserve, so I don’t know what job she might be talking about. “I work on the weather team. I do the normal things. Make sure the crops get rain, bust up clouds, and sometimes just move clouds around.”  That makes the name make more sense, she literally kicks clouds. That makes my idea about their naming structure seem more likely. These names are just a brief description of the pony that it is attached to. “Which means we get to work a little faster than they probably wanted. But they knew I have a real job, so… yeah.”

The fact that she has a job aside, I still want to know something. “What do you mean weather team? Do you really mean you move clouds, break them, make it rain, and so forth?” I hope this is some sort of joke, but she just nods. “You’re kidding me, right? The weather is a series of things that happen without any interference. Clouds are the collection of moisture that evaporates from the ground and bodies of water. Rain is when too much moisture is in a cloud. I could go on and on…”

I see a shudder, almost as if that idea scares her. “Don’t talk crazy talk. There’s only one place where that happens, and nopony goes there.”

“Goes where?” Another word is added. They throw pony into almost any word that they can, it seems. I don’t think that I’m going to do the same, but I might.

The Everfree Forest.” That name means nothing to me, at least not beyond what the three words that make up the phrase means. Or it might be two, meaning that it’s a forest that’s forever free. That doesn’t tell me anything, though.

“And why not?”

“Because it’s dangerous. Aside from the Timberwolves, there are dragons and cockatrice. And that’s not even talking about the evil enchantress…” That’s another thing that I know I need to ask about, but I decide not to. Instead, I just decide that I probably need to stay away from the Everfree Forest for now. My curiosity will have to be sated later, when I can figure out a way to get multiple ponies to go in there with me. After all, a group is much safer than a single pony or a single human.

“Sounds like a place I need to stay clear of.”

She smiles and nods, eventually taking the final bites of her breakfast. Maybe it’s just because I eat quicker, but I’m done at about the same time. “Alright, now that we have that little problem out of the way… it’s time to figure out how you’re going to go outside.” That makes no sense to me at all. I know that the previous night had to be spent the way it was because I needed to get everything set up, but today is different.

“I thought I’d just walk out and see what Ponyville has to offer.”

Strangely enough, that doesn’t earn a laugh. Instead, she just shrugs as she stands up. “I figured we’d go about it a little … different.” I’m almost worried to ask how. “Maybe disguise you, make you look like a pony for now, and then spring it on them when they already like you.” She’s nice enough to where I give the idea some thought, but I already know that it isn’t something that will actually work longer term.

“And then when I show myself off, they can say I’m a fraud and… that never ends well.” There is also the fact that I don’t want to have to pretend to be a pony. Something about the idea of looking like one, and the fact that I don’t know how ponies act, means that I probably wouldn’t get too far into it before somebody would realize that I’m not what I look like. And that could turn out worse than if they just know from the start. “Besides, it can’t be that bad.”

That is something that usually leads to bad things happening, but I get the feeling that it won’t be so bad this time. After all, these ponies seem to be nice enough.

“I don’t know…”

“Listen, we can even talk to that pink pony … Pinkie Pie, I think you called her. I’m sure she’d help make sure everything doesn’t turn out so bad.” That isn’t my best line of logic, but it seems to be working. Either that, or I am wearing her down with my continued push toward going outside. “I’ll even go outside right now, it’ll be fine.” I move to put the bowl in the sink, and then walk out to show that nothing will possibly go wrong.

Then I come falling back in when a pony tackles me.

“HUMAN!”

I don’t know what to say about the mint-green pony that just tackled me. She seems to know what I am, at least, which is a start. If I hear another pony call me a hairless monkey, I think I might just lose my mind. Beyond the happiness of being called a human, though, this is all weird. I don’t even know how she would have known about me being here. Then we move on to the fact that this makes the idea of nothing happening harder to push.

Something just happened, now I have a pony sitting on me.

I don’t even have to look to know that Cloudkicker is smirking at me. “Nothing else could possibly go wrong. This is just a minor setback.” I look at the pony that’s sitting on me, and move my hands to try to push her off. “As for you … errr … whoever you are, I don’t think that it’s a good idea to tackle me. You could have hurt me … or yourself.” It doesn’t take much effort to remove her, but I get the feeling that she isn’t paying attention to what I’m saying.

I get this feeling because she’s just staring at my hands.

“Nice. I have a spell that does that same thing, right Cloudkicker?” She looks over to my current host, who just nods her head. “But I bet that you’re way better at using them than I am.” With a horn glow, she soon has a pair of hands as well. She wiggles her fingers, though I can tell that she probably doesn’t have the finer motor control that somebody who grew up with hands would have. “And you’re way different from all of the books I’ve read, they make it seem like you always wear clothes…”

“Yeah, well, I ask him about it. He seemed to be okay with the idea of not wearing clothes. Didn’t even really ask him to take them off, but he did anyway.” The idea of not wearing clothes has actually been liberating so far. It isn’t something that I’d do if there were other humans, but it isn’t like many of the ponies seem to have any problem with it. As I look over to Cloudkicker, she has a weird smirk on her face. “Hey, I have an idea.” She looks at me. “You wanted to go out, maybe talk to Pinkie, right?”

I nod, and she points to Lyra. “And Lyra here just loves the idea of spending the day with a human, right?” That gets an enthusiastic nod from Lyra. I don’t really know if I have any say in the matter, but it doesn’t look like I do. It’s a fate that I’m going to just have to deal with. “So why don’t we deal with two problems at once and Lyra can help you out today.”

This is a trap and I know it, or at least I think it might be. At the same time, though, I can’t help but respond with a nod. “That sounds like a wonderful idea. I’m supposed to be learning about this place anyway, so this seems like a perfect idea.” Maybe perfect is going too far, but it does seem like an idea that will probably work.

While I try to have an optimistic opinion of this, Lyra seems to be beyond thrilled with the idea. I don’t know if this is because of the weird human fetish that she seems to have or if she’s just generally that nice to strangers. From what I have learned about this group of creatures, these ponies, either of the two could be true. Weirdly enough, I have no idea which one I want it to be. While it might make it easier if they’re all this nice, the idea of a pony with a human fetish is just amusing.

As long as it doesn’t change to what Cloudkicker wants, it might even stay interesting.

Oh crap, that reminds me that I agreed to sleep with her. Well, okay, that’s future me on the line. Present me just has to deal with the idea of being shown around town in a way that doesn’t cause trouble for everyone involved. Most importantly, I need to make sure that it doesn’t cause trouble for me.

I look over to see Lyra giving Kicker a hug. “You sure do know how to make me happy. Love ya, Kicker.”

“Love you too, Lyra.”

Well, that just happened.

Maybe this is just one of those things. The ponies here all seem so kind, so caring. Aside from these two, who are probably in some sort of relationship, there’s also just about every single pony I ran into in Canterlot. Just about every doesn’t include the pony that kicked me in the back of the head. The guards had been pretty nice, though. Then there were the princesses, they had been easy to get along with.

The fact that Celestia seems alright with this idea so far is proof enough to me that they’re alright.

“Well, not to break this love-fest apart, but I’m really curious about what’s outside that door.”

Cloudkicker just chuckles. “Not a lot, just a town. You already saw some of it when you were flying above it.”

“That’s just it, though. Aside from the weird looks, I know nothing about the ponies around here. And if you two are any indication, that’s a real shame.”

That seems to earn me a hug from both of them. Well, this is nice. I’m nice to them, they’re nice to me, and it works out for all of us. Maybe my charm will eventually wear off, but once again that’s a problem for future me. I do realize that I will be future me, but I’m more of an in-the-now type of guy sometimes. After all, why not have some fun.

Lyra moves away from Cloudkicker, and opens the door. “This is the start of your tour of Ponyville. And by that, I mean I’m going to show you off to a bunch of ponies that called me crazy. I knew humans were real.” I have to wonder what the stories are about humans. There seems to be a word in their language for us, but beyond that I’m not sure. “They all say you’re just a made-up story to scare ponies, but that’s not true at all. And they say that hands are impossible… even though dragons have hands.”

Dragons, unicorns, pegasi, whatever the princesses were, the list of mythical objects just keeps expanding. These are all real, though. Then again, I’m the myth here. Maybe I should stop with that word, really. If I tell them that the human race always considered these different types of creatures fake, they might not like it. I think it’s a good thing I’m the one that came here to begin with, others might have had a different reaction when told that they’re considered a myth.

“Actually, I was hoping we might find Pinkie Pie first. Something about her just seems like she can help me feel welcomed around here.” As I take a step outside, there’s something I notice. It’s a gloomy day, the sun almost seems like it is being choked out by some sort of cloud. It’s only when I look up, that’s when I notice that I’m more right than I could have imagined.

The sun is being choked out by a moving trail of smoke.

“Oh, you’re going to have to wait on that one. Pinkie Pie went with the others to go deal with a giant dragon.”

That leads to at least two questions that I can think of. “The others? And giant dragons can blot out the sun?” There are other questions that might come up, but those are the two that seem important at this point.

“The Elements of Harmony.” I look at her with a confused look on my face, since I don’t understand the concept. I understand the idea of harmony fine enough. It’s the idea of elements of harmony that I’m struggling with. “Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. They … okay, I really don’t know a lot about the Elements of Harmony. I know that they had something to do with saving us from Nightmare Moon. I always meant to look up more about them, I just never got around to it.”

That makes sense, I guess. I think it might take a while before I can move past those names, though.

“As for the dragon? That kind of scares me too. This isn’t anything like little Spike that lives with Twilight.” That name, Spike, it amuses me. I remember, not too long ago, when I had sarcastically guessed that somebody would be named Spike. It turns out I’m smarter than I thought. It might not be a pony, but a dragon with that name isn’t too far from the mark. I have to wonder, though, if he likes that name.

It sounds like a dog’s name.

I really have to fight off the urge to say that I was right. That’d probably make no sense to her.

“So, with Pinkie Pie out of the question for now… where would you suggest we go first?” I don’t know anything about the place, so her ideas are probably going to be better than mine. Not only that, but she seems to really want to show me off to her friends. As much as I hate the idea of being paraded around, it does mean I’m good enough to be paraded around. That hits me right in the ego, which is enough to get me to do a lot of things.

“Oh, we should go see Bon-Bon.”

If my knowledge of the naming structure holds true, I can look forward to some sort of sweets. I haven’t had a bonbon my entire life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what they are. “Sure thing, sounds like a plan. She a friend of yours?” I glance over to see that the sound of chuckling that I just heard is coming from her.

“I suppose you could say that.”

That isn’t helpful at all.

“You’ll see.” I almost have to wonder if she can read my mind. Or maybe my confusion just shows on my face. Either way, we’re walking to what I can only assume is the house of a pony that makes delectable treats. I kind of hope so, it might be possible to get something free from her. If that’s the case, then I definitely will be abusing that.

What? I like sugary treats.

As we continue down the street, though, I start to notice something. It starts with a pony going indoors, rather quickly, and just gets worse from there. I see a small pony, maybe a child, being pulled into a building. Maybe that can just be attributed to the fact that children get out and about all the time. Sometimes, parents have to do something to make sure that the child is actually being watched. I remember reading that in a parenting book I once read.

Don’t ask me why, it had just seemed like an interesting book at the time.

All of that could be alright, but it gets even worse. There are a few ponies who haven’t gone into a house, they’re just staring at me as they whisper things to each other. Well, that could have been something minor. It isn’t just one thing that makes it wrong, it is several things. One weird event is just a weird event, a group of weird events is a trend. And if this is the trend that I’m going to have to deal with, then I want to know why.

Heck, I want to know if this is really a trend.

The only way that I can discover whether or not this is a trend is to go confront those ponies who are still whispering. When my eyes look at theirs, the two of them change their behavior. Instead of looking right at me, they start looking at each other. Every once in a while, they look right at me again. It’s only for a moment, though. It would be so amazing if I could hear just a little better.

Barring that, it’s time for me to go talk to them in person.

I turn, take a few steps toward them. If they’re going to talk about me, then I should probably figure out what makes me so interesting to them. When they start to move away, eventually they are pulled into a building by somebody, I facepalm. That is definitely the thing that tells me that this trend is not just a product of my imagination. This tells me that there is something about then unknown that not a single pony here likes.

And I happen to be one of the biggest unknowns to these people, I would say. Before Lyra can say anything, I just put a hand up. “I think it’s time we just head over to Bon-Bon’s. Maybe that will be better than what just happened.” At this point, her expression changes to one of concern. I really don’t need a pony worrying about me like this, though, so I start walking in the direction we had already been going in the first place. “I’m sure she won’t be like any of these ponies out here.”

“I hope so,” is all I hear as she moves to get ahead of me. It can’t get much worse than this, though. These ponies don’t seem like the violent type, aside from that guard.

I really don’t know what to say beyond that. The name doesn’t give me any indication of how she will react, unless she reacts in a sweet way. I have to stay positive, though, that’s the most important thing. I keep a smile on my face as we continue, though that does mean I have to start ignoring all of the glances I get from within buildings. It also means I get to ignore the ignorant ponies that are saying things about the strange creature known as a human.

I can’t say that part is easy.

It’s only when she stops that I realize we’re there. This is the place that I’m supposed to be going to, where I’ll be meeting Bon-Bon. I glance at the building, it looks kind of nice really. She must really take good care of the place. Another benefit is that I don’t think I see a pony looking out of the window. That means that this might be another pony that I get along with. That would be something that I think I would love completely.

After all, I’m pushing to try to live here on a more permanent basis. I’m going to be pushing to live here with my parents at that. It might be nice if they like, or at least tolerate, humans. Cloudkicker seems alright, even if she does want to bang, and Lyra is just plain excitable about the fact that I’m human. Celestia seems alright, as does Cadance. There seem to be a lot of nice ponies here, it might be nice to stay here.

Well, not here. Ponyville is proving to be a hotbed of hatred. Maybe I can get Celestia to let me stay in Canterlot after this. Maybe there are other towns, if that doesn’t work out well. Wait, no, there’s always the chance that this can turn out well. They just need to get to know me. I look at Lyra, look at the door, and look at Lyra one final time before she decides that this is the perfect opportunity to try to excite me about the idea of going in there.

“She’s always looked out for me. She’s been my roommate for years now. Good friend of the family. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” All of that sounds nice, really nice, but it doesn’t make me feel much better. The fact that she’s nice to a pony that she’s known her entire life, that her family knows, doesn’t mean she’s going to like me at all. There’s always the chance that she could see me as a giant threat and try to hit me with something.

Nah, that’s not likely.

At worst, she’ll just hide or run away.

“Alright, but you go in first. You should probably explain why I’m here in the first place. After all, I’m a stranger here. It’s not like I can even buy any candy as an excuse…” I really hope that doesn’t turn out to be a horrible assumption. I don’t remember Lyra telling me about candy, but I assume that the name lends itself to selling candy. Also, I want to point out just how poor I am. I assume they have some sort of currency here, it isn’t likely that they just give things away.

“Good thinking, Roger.”

I give a thumbs up, which seems to take her focus away from the task at hand for a moment. I really don’t understand the reasoning behind her love of hands. As soon as I give her a confused look, though, she shakes her head a little and nods a final time before moving to open the door. What I see her do raises a question, something I probably should ask at some point.

How did she just open the door with her hoof?

Either way, I’m going to wait until she says something before I go bursting in. After all, the idea is that she tells her friend, roommate, whatever, that I’m here. Preferably there are other words, something that explains that I look different but I’m not a threat. It might be nice to go somewhere and not get the rude glares and strange comments. I don’t think I want any more of that, I have already had quite enough for my lifetime.

I just have to wait.

~

Roughly five minutes later, I decide that it is time for me to just see what’s going on. I probably should have heard something by now. I still don’t hear anything. Then again, only now am I actually trying to hear anything at all. Before now, I was content to just wait. It seems weird to try to listen into a house, maybe even bordering on rude. And while I can be a rude person, I know that it isn’t going to help me out in this situation.

However, this situation does call for me to see what’s taking so long.

I grab the door handle, open up, and then promptly see a pair of hooves before they smash against my face. Pain is the best way to describe it, and by it I mean my entire face. It’s just one big mound of pain. I would like to say that I hear the sound of something, anything, but that isn’t the case. I don’t even see anything beyond the hooves that go in my face.

Everything goes dark after that. I really hope that doesn’t cause some sort of brain damage. That really wouldn’t be good. A few seconds before I go out like a light, one thought goes through my mind. It is more than extremely apparent that Lyra might have been wrong about how Bon-Bon will react to somebody like myself. I still remember that she was going to be better than the others.

Unless killing me is the wanted result, she is not better at reacting to the unknown than the others. At least they just ran away and said some mean things. This makes the second time that I’ve been assaulted like this. This is the first time, though, that it has happened to my beautiful face. I really hope my nose isn’t broken.

It probably is.

~

I don’t even know what time it is when I wake up, or come back to consciousness. I know that Cloudkicker is there, watching over me. She seems to have a concerned look on her face, which makes sense with what happened. The last thing I remember is a pair of hooves. Thinking about it, the pony that kicked me might have been another pony. I still don’t know what Bon-Bon looks like, and she might be happy to see me when I do go to see her again.

Actually, that’s not a certainty. I don’t know if I care about going to go see her again. Even if it wasn’t her, I would rather not risk it. I don’t want to get kicked in the face again, it is not pleasant.

“Good, you’re awake. Lyra told me all about it.” I have to wonder what she said, and if she can tell me who did he kicking. “I don’t understand how that happened. There are a lot of ponies out there that are mean, but that just takes the cake. And out of all of them, I didn’t expect Bon-Bon to be the aggressive type.” She smirks for a second. “Not unless you really ask her to be.”

I don’t want to know.

“So that was her. I had hoped that maybe it was just a rowdy customer that I scared or something.” It isn’t that I like Bon-Bon, it will just make everything a lot easier if she likes me. I doubt she sells to people, or ponies, that she doesn’t like. I have to have my candy, it just is part of who I am. I would have been alright, or at least I would have had to be, if there wasn’t any. But there is, and for some reason the pony who makes it doesn’t like it.

Such is the my life, it seems.

“Oh, no, that was her. She apparently pulled Lyra aside and waited for you to go in. AND when you did? Blamo!” She thrust a hoof into the air. “Kind of wish I hadn’t let you go out there. Lyra is nice and all, but I should have known that she wouldn’t be able to do anything about angry ponies.” I don’t like the idea of her blaming herself, or Lyra, for some pony not liking me. “At the very least, I’m going to go talk to Bon-Bon tomorrow. This can’t be allowed to happen. Until I get everything solved, though, you’re staying put.”

Is she my mummy or something?

“Fine, mom.”

“Oh, you’re that type of stallion, eh?” The type of look she gives me makes me feel more than a little uncomfortable. It takes about three seconds for my face to erupt with heat. I can only assume that I’m blushing, because she just laughs. “Don’t worry, I won’t judge you if you decide to call me mom later.” I don’t think it’s possible for me to be blushing brighter, as she winks at me.

No, I'm not a stallion. That isn't the worst part of this little back and forth, though.

I seriously need to rethink the idea of ‘banging’ her. Back then, I had thought that it was something that wouldn’t get brought up again. She seems rather intent on keeping me to that, though. Then again, I don’t know what this is like. I might just like it. Then again, again, she might just be picking on me because I’m providing her with an easy target. I really need to just stop providing that target.

And … here comes the pain.

“Actually, I was thinking about just trying to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow, it won't hurt as much. It seems weird to say that it's a headache, more like a faceache. I assume you understand.”

She simply nods, and soon leaves the room. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come find me. I've never had to deal with this sort of thing, but I’m sure we can find something if it gets too bad.”

As soon as she leaves, I pull out my journal. There are a couple of notes that I need to put down, ones which I’m likely going to reverse later on. But for now, these notes are for me. I look over my notes, one of them has to have an addendum.

General pony characteristics

-Mark shows up at some point to show what they’re good at. More data is required about this phenomenon.

-Trusting, they take me at my word

That is what I’m going to have to change.

General pony characteristics

-Mark shows up at some point to show what they’re good at. More data is required about this phenomenon.

-Trusting, they take me at my word

-Those that do not trust are incredibly violent and incredibly strong

Bon-Bon

-Stay away from her

-Haven’t seen what she looks like

-Lyra’s roommate

-Friends with Cloudkicker

Residents of Ponyville/Ponyville

-Untrusting

-Some violent, or at least one

-Near a dangerous dragon and a dangerous forest

-Houses look nice, though

Everfree Forest

-Dangerous

-Must explore later with a group, if I can find any I can trust

Chapter 5

There's something that surprises me when I finally wake up. Well, there are a few things that surprise me. The most important thing, though, is that I don't feel the pain anymore. Oh joy of all joys, I don't feel like I've been kicked in the face now. Now my nose just has a nice numb sensation. Whenever I breathe out of it, it also whistles.  

That's something that probably shouldn't happen.

Another important thing is that it isn’t sunrise. When I look out of the window, I’m able to discern about what time it is relative to high noon. By that, I mean that I know it is past noon. That means I need to figure out what I’m going to do for the rest of the day, and it apparently can’t involve going outside. That’s something that I was told not to do, and I intend to actually listen to the idea. It isn’t like she told me that because of something malicious.

Thirdly, if that is even a real way of putting it, I don’t hear the pony whose house this is. I would have thought that I would have heard Cloudkicker, but I do not. I open my door slowly, trying to see if she’s there making sure I don’t leave, but she isn’t. In fact, I’m actually there all by myself. I can go look around, read her diary, see what’s in her room, go see what’s in the fridge, and do all sorts of things that actually seem more like what a child would do.

Actually, a couple of those sound like horrible ideas. I don’t think I need to know any more about Cloudkicker for now. I don’t know why, but the vibe she gives off says I need to stay away from her room for now.

I tip-toe into the kitchen, just to see a plate on the table. On the plate is a sandwich of some description, with what looks to be flowers. Next to it is a piece of paper with some writing on it.

Greetings Roger,

I know that it might seem weird to leave you there alone, but I have some things I need to do. Besides, I left you alone that on night. There isn’t a lot that you can really do anyway. I have a sandwich here for you to eat, I’m taking you up on the idea that humans eat whatever they have in front of them. This is what we, as ponies, generally eat.

This and hay.

Try to make sure you get comfortable for the rest of the day. I might end up sending Nurse Redheart by later, just to check on you. She owes me one after that one night.

Don’t make too much of a mess, or I’ll have to punish you later.

Cloudkicker

I actually don’t think a letter has ever made me feel so uncomfortable in my entire life. Most of it isn’t so bad, but that last part is definitely something that I hadn’t expected. Maybe I should have, but I still don’t know how to react to something like that. I put the paper down, and look at the sandwich. “When in Rome and all that.” I say to nobody. A hand moves to pick it up, and then soon enough I take a giant bite out of it.

Yep, I don’t like this.

Nope, I probably don’t have a lot of say in whether or not I have to get used to it.

It actually takes me a grand three minutes to finish the sandwich. I probably could have eaten it faster, but I still don’t know if I can get used to it. I just want some water, or soda, or tea, or something else that might help get the taste of flower out of my mouth. After eating it, though, I’m left with a feeling of immense boredom. I don’t know what to do in here. It isn’t like she has a set of books that I want to read, or a television with some movies for me to watch. She wants me to stay in here, but she doesn’t want to make it any less of an incredibly dull experience.

It is about this time that I hear the door open.

“Oh hey Cloudkicker.” I say in a nasally voice. Occasionally I make the mistake of breathing out through my nose and it whistles. I stand up, move into the living room, and I see a pony that is definitely not Cloudkicker. She looks nothing like Cloudkicker. She’s white, as white as is possible, with light pink hair in a bun. From what I can see on her rear, her mark is a cross. She’s also wearing a hat, the stereotypical nurse’s hat from what I can tell.

Yep this must be the nurse.  

I move over to get the paper, and then I look at the name. “So you would be Nurse Redheart?” I really hope this isn’t Cloudkicker’s idea of a joke. The idea hadn’t come to my mind until now, but now it was there. This could be one of those things, pranks I think they’re called. A pony might have a name that is close to what they do, like Cloudkicker or Bon-Bon, but it just seems unnatural for somebody to name their kid Redheart.

I can only hope nurse is a title.

“T-t-that would be me.” I don’t know why I have this effect on the ponies.  It might have to do with the size difference between us. I’m much larger than a lot of the things that they likely encounter. Maybe it’s just because I’m different, that is another possibility. Darn it all, I can’t remember doing anything to give off the impression that I’m to be feared, though. “I-I-I was asked by Cloudkicker to see how a Roger Fleitas is doing, she said he h-h-has some injuries.”

“That would be me.”

Something of curiosity seems to take over as she slowly walks over. Her eyes scan over my face, as if she’s trying to figure out what it is that happened to me. As she studies my face, her courage seems to come back to her. “I see you have some bruising on your cheeks and around your eyes, your lips seem to have been busted, and from the way you’re talking I’m guessing your nose is broke.”

Well, that’s useful knowledge.

“So, tell me… what happened? Somebody as big as you doesn’t look like he’d have much trouble out there.”

“I walked into a candy story and got kicked in the face.” That isn’t something that sounds like a heroic story, mostly because it isn’t. I didn’t expect that to happen then, and looking back at it I still wouldn’t have thought that it would have happened. But it did, and now I’m here being looked at by a nurse with a red cross as her special mark thing. Then again, I have no idea what to expect from any of these ponies right now. My notes about them have occasionally conflicted.

Some are nice, happy, and trusting. Some are scared. Some seem like they’re violent and angry. I don’t know even half of the ponies of this town, though.

The look on her face, though, tells me that she doesn’t really believe that. “Really? I don’t really think anypony around here is really violent.” I give her a look, I have to wonder why she thinks I might be lying. “Not that I’m saying you’re a liar, it’s just that it doesn’t seem like something that is real.” She must not like the look I’m giving her, but being called a liar is not something that I’d like on the best of days.

This most certainly isn’t the best of days.

When she pokes around my eye, that’s when it starts to hurt again. I really have to wonder if she’s a trained nurse. Maybe she just wants to see what type of expression I give. I definitely wince, that’s for certain. Not only is it unexpected, but it freaking hurts. I have no idea why she really just did that, either. She pulls back and rubs her chin a few times before she takes a step back away from me. She definitely doesn’t look happy either.  

“From what I can tell, I have no idea why I was told to check up on you.” That is a sentiment that we both share. I don’t know why she’s here either. She is a nurse, but still. Something tells me that pony medical science is different than human. “Aside from the lack of knowledge about human physiology, there also isn’t a lot I can do. Two black eyes, a broken nose, and busted lips are the problem, but they’re only solved by time. I can’t exactly just will them away or anything.”

I want to say that I called the first part, but once again I don’t think she can read my thoughts to understand what I would mean. The idea of her not being able to do anything, that isn’t something good. Time might fix a lot of things, but the occasional spike of pain is nothing something that I want to have to wait out. I want something to make it go away. The only way to see if there is anything is to actually say something, though. “So, ponies don’t have pain medicine?”

“We do. I have no clue how it would affect a … whatever you are, though. If you were a pony, it’d be so much easier.”

That is something I hadn’t thought about. I know we have different everything, aside from words for whatever reason, but I wasn’t thinking about what medicine might do to the two groups. The idea of toughing out the pain, though, is something that is making me second-guess the idea of being careful. Actually, this is a perfect chance for me to figure out if I will have to find a way to make my own medicine. “I like to be called human, or Roger. Either one works. And there’s no time like the present to figure out the difference. I’m sure it won’t be too bad anyway. Worst case scenario, I just try to flush it out of my system. I won’t take enough for it to do anything too bad, just to take the pain away.”

Maybe there’s just something about me that gets people, and ponies, to change their minds. Or maybe I give off an aura that I’m not going to give up. That would make sense, considering I’m determined to get that medicine. I need it on the off chance that the pain flares up again. Well, not need, I really want it in case the pain comes back. I look right into her eyes, and I can see Nurse Redheart starting to change her mind.

“And if something happens, you learned something.”

“Fine. I’m no Twilight, but the idea of knowing something about medicine is … motivation enough for me. Besides, you probably know more about humans than I do.” She still doesn’t seem to particularly like the idea, but I feel like she probably is overthinking things. I doubt there is some medicine that will kill me that’s a painkiller, unless I overdose or something. I really intend to watch how much I take, too, just to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Then again, these are rather small creatures. Whatever their dose it, I might have to take two just to get the effect.

“I will be right back with the pain medicine.”  

Of course, I have nothing to do but simply wait for her to come back with whatever it is that the ponies consider pain medicine. From what I can gather, it’s probably something that grows. They don’t seem like the type that actually have laboratories that make anything. That won’t be too bad, most of the things that grow out in nature won’t kill you. There are a few things, but they generally aren’t able to be used as painkillers.

I hope my basic knowledge of plants isn’t wrong here.

Well, now the waiting game starts.

~

I don’t know how long it takes for her to get back.  

I do know it has been more than twenty minutes by the time I hear the door open again. The only reason I know this is because I count a grand total of twelve hundred seconds before I decide to give up. If I had counted any longer and I probably would be insane by now.  Either way, she has a basket of what I soon see are green plants.

I seem to be on a roll when it comes to calling these things.

She then sits them down and sits in a chair. I look at the basket, then back to her, then back to the basket. “If you’re waiting for me to take some, I don’t exactly feel any pain right now. Well, not enough to take medicine. I’m sure you have patients to go deal with, right?” At first, she just continues to look at me.  

“It’s my day off, actually.” I start to feel bad for her. She’s here on her day off looking at a human. This is not something that I would imagine she likes doing on her day off. “I ran into Cloudkicker, though, on my way to get the medicine. She asked if I can stay a little longer to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Apparently, she thinks you’re going to go running off to … I don’t know, she didn’t tell me. She just told me I need to watch you, so I am.”

We’ll this is awkward.

“You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. I’m a big boy, I can be trusted to look after myself and not get into trouble.” I don’t know what I did to make it to where Cloudkicker wants a pony to look after me. Whatever it is, I’m going to have to make sure I don’t do it again. “Besides, I’m sure you want to be doing something else with your day off.”

“That’s not the point. I told Cloudkicker that I would watch you until she gets back, and so I will.” She isn’t smiling, she is just looking at me. Apparently, she is taking the idea of watching me to mean just that. All she is going to do is stare at me. There’s the occasional blink, but other than that she doesn’t seem to have much of an intention to do anything other than watch.

“So, what is it like being a nurse? Are there a lot of problems?”

There’s no response. I’m starting to wonder if the medical things, and the lines about Cloudkicker, are all she’s going to say. She certainly isn’t answering my question about her nursing job. Maybe there’s another question that I can get an answer to. I do have a captive audience, so this is as good of a time as any. “And why does every pony out there keep looking at me like I’m going to eat them. I eat meat, sure, but I don’t eat pony.” It is almost as if the only thing that she catches is the idea that I eat meat.

And she doesn’t seem to like that idea, not at all.

Actually, she goes so far as to back away.

I can only wait for Cloudkicker to show back up again. I am really not liking any of this. For a moment, I had thought that this would be a pony I could talk to. She had seemed to have gotten over her nerves. Maybe I’m just a horrible judge of character in ponies, though. My mind keeps going back to the idea that my face is a testament to the fact that I am completely out of my depth when it comes to judging those around me.

If she is just going to keep watching me, as if she expects to have to run away at any point, I’m going to watch her back. If she isn’t going to answer questions, I’m not going to bother asking them. I don’t have to worry about answering her questions, though at this point I’d love the conversation.

~

Words cannot describe how happy I am when Cloudkicker gets back into the house.

It seems that Nurse Redheart thinks the same thing, as she quickly rushes over to talk to Cloudkicker. She even occasionally looks at me, as if she still thinks I’m going to do something. I really don’t know what I did to give the impression that I’m going to eat them. The only mistake that I can say I made today was when I told her that I eat meat. I’m going to pay for that in the court of her opinion, not that it carries a whole lot of weight to me right now.

The opinions of ponies mean little to me, with a few exceptions.

As soon as Nurse Redheart leaves, and I think she won’t hear, I let out a sigh of relief. “That has to be the worst nurse in the history of nurses.” I actually can’t validate that claim. The only nurse I know of that isn’t her would be my mom. She isn’t that good of a nurse, either, but she’s better than my dad was when he tried to play nurse that one time.  

“You just can’t get along with anypony, can you?”

That is the last straw. She might be joking, but I haven’t done anything so far other than be assaulted. “I didn’t do anything! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the worst thing I did was be different. I just see ponies around here.” The bigot card isn’t one that I have ever been able to pull before today. When the only people around are all of the same family, it is kind of impossible. “And I get assaulted, ran away from, and assaulted.” I don’t even know if she’ll understand what this is like for me.

I had hoped to be around humans right now, and making the best of it isn’t exactly something that is being made easy. At this point, I’m almost tempted to try to find another time in the future. Maybe humans take over again at some point. Even if that isn’t the case, anything is better than now. I end up letting out a sigh of frustration. I close my eyes, there has to be a way to calm down.

Then I feel what has to be a hug.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” I don’t know if I should feel bad about what I had said or not, but I kind of do. Cloudkicker hasn’t done anything wrong, and I just accused her entire species of being bigots. I really should say something, maybe apologize, but I just can’t. Aside from a few examples, they all have been bigots to me. Well, they might have been. I don’t really know why they’re acting the way they are. “This has got to be difficult on you, more so than us. You’re the one that is the only one of your kind around here. Even if there are some ponies who are nice, they probably can’t understand that sort of thing.”

Now I do feel bad.

I have to say something. “It could be worse, I could be stuck here. And I could be forced to be the only one of me for the rest of my life. But I plan on going back to get my parents at some point, if I can ever figure out how to make all of this ponies a lot less hostile.” All of that is true. I have to figure out how to make them tolerate me, maybe even like me. I have to go back and get my parents. And I really don’t want to be stuck here alone.

Maybe I should head off for a little into the past and vent some steam.

Nah, I’m supposed to be figuring out how to survive here.

“Why don’t you tell me about them … your parents?”

I can tell that she’s trying to be nice, so I just smile. The hug stops, she takes a couple of steps back, and she sits down. “Alright. Where to start? I think I should tell you about my dad. Oh, he’s my bigger influence when it comes to how I live. He’s a scientist, a theoretical physicist. He wants me to take in his steps one day. I remember this one thing he told me, important thing, about the difference between a normal physicist and a theoretical physicist…”

~

“And that’s I got the idea to find somewhere new. It hasn’t worked out for me so well yet, though. I hope that changes. No offense to you and Lyra, but there’s only two of you and a lot of them.”

That seems to bring a look of concern to her face. “That reminds me. I spoke to Lyra today about what happened.” This is something that can end one of two ways. Either she is going to tell me that everything is okay, or she is going to tell me that everything isn’t okay. From the look, I can only assume that this is going to be bad news. I just hope that she isn’t going to tell me that I have to stay in here another day. “I tried to talk her into giving you a chance, but she didn’t listen. She seems to think that you’re going to eat her. I doubt that the stories that Lyra used to tell her helped at all.”

I have to wonder why Lyra ran up if she thinks that I’m some sort of threat.

“We’re going to have to wait until Twilight gets back. That way, we can get her to do some experiments on you and have you be declared safe.” That doesn’t sound like a normal idea. It is something that I think might be a good enough excuse for me to leave the house, though, which means I’m going to give it a big thumbs up.  

“When should Twilight get back?” I don’t know anything about her beyond the fact that she is obviously some sort of expert on things. It is also obvious that they listen to her, for whatever reason. I also seem to remember a Twilight Sparkle being named one of the Elements of Harmony. “And can you tell me more about this Twilight? Is it the one you told me about before, the Element of Harmony?”

“Yep, Twilight is the Element of magic I think. And she is Celestia’s student. And she should be back by now, but I think she’s going to want to sleep before she does anything. I plan on going by her house tomorrow. The duchess does love her sleep, I’m told.” So she’s the Element of Magic and she’s apparently royalty, and she’s apparently the student of one of the princesses. “Just a nickname, by the way. She loves being called it, you should greet her by it when you see her tomorrow.”

~

After we eat dinner, Cloudkicker lets out a yawn. “Getting you out of trouble is more difficult than I had thought it would be.” I decide to not tell her that she didn’t do anything, it wouldn’t be worth it. “And I’m going to need to wake up early tomorrow anyway.” That is something good, since this seems to be a perfect time to test the medicine that I have been given. I don’t want to tell her, but that hug she gave me has made my nose sting a little.

That sneeze during dinner isn’t helping either. I’m kind of surprised I’m not bleeding right now, though I had checked when it had happened.  

“See you tomorrow, Cloudkicker?”

“Not much, duchess doesn’t like being watched when she does her experiments.”

I head off to my room, more things ready to be written down.

Nurse Redheart

- doesn’t trust me

- Doesn’t know anything about humans

- White with pink hair and a nurse hat

- Red cross as her special mark

- Obviously a nurse

Twilight Sparkle

- Element of Magic

- Likes to be called Duchess

- Student of Celestia

- Probably a unicorn

- Likes experiments

- Hates being watched

Elements of Harmony

- Symbolize loyalty, kindness, laughter, magic, honesty, and generosity

- Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity  

- Important

I take a couple of bites of one of the plants. It doesn’t taste good at all. I have to finish it off, though, and then eat another. If one of them is enough for a pony, two should be enough for me. With both of them out of the way, I know I should be feeling the effects soon enough. Maybe it will help me go to sleep, too. I haven’t had much trouble, but it would really suck if that were to change.

Ten minutes later, the pain is slightly diminished.

These ponies definitely take less, but this is ridiculous. Lucky for me, though, I’m tired enough to go to sleep anyway. I haven’t done much, I know, but dealing with Nurse Killjoy wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Besides, when I sleep I can think of what I’m going to do when I finally get to be able to go outside without the ponies acting like I’m going to eat them and their children at the same time.

I can only hope this works.

Chapter 6

It might seem weird, but I like waking up at sunrise. There's a lot that I can do in a day, and it just feels right getting an early start. This idea might not turn out to be true, nothing might happen. That was certainly the case yesterday. This morning will hopefully not be like that, and I'll hopefully be able to say that I got something done today. As the rays of the sun hit my face, and I wake up, I look over to make sure that my door is closed. It might seem paranoid, but there's something to be said about this place.

Most of these ponies are crazy.

I have this feeling that today is going to be a good day. I'm going to either be heading over to visit Twilight or she's going to come here. There will be a lot of things that get asked about me, some blood probably taken, and tests performed that make sure that I'm not some sort of threat. Actually, I don't know why she might need to take blood, so I'm probably just going to assume that it won't happen. The questions, though, those are obviously going to happen.

It might be good to be an ambassador for my people.

Either that, or it might turn out horribly.

With a stretch of my arms, I stand up and walk out the door into the kitchen. Something tells me that I might not particularly like the breakfast that I’m going to have, but I might. The sandwich wasn’t so bad, much better than I had thought. Maybe it’s just something that I will have to get used to. Of course, that all rides on me actually staying here instead of going back to where I came from. That rides on what happens with Twilight over the course of the day.

Right now, though, a grumble of my stomach tells me that it’s time to eat.

~

Cloudkicker tells me that she’ll clean the dishes, but I figure it’s the least I can do. We had some sort of bacon, she said it was made out of hay. There were also pancakes, which she said were also made of hay. The drink was the best part in my opinion, it was orange juice. I still don’t know if I’m a big fan of hay everything, but it seems like this is the normal thing for them to eat. Maybe I can convince them to let me raise some sort of animals to eat.

Then again, they might be against that.

“I’m going to walk you over to Twilight’s make sure nothing goes wrong.”

That reminds me, I need to remember that name that she seems to like going by. Cloudkicker had told me it previously, but for the life of me I can’t remember it. I know it has something to do with royalty. I know it isn’t princess or queen. “Thanks, Cloudkicker. Maybe today will be a day without me getting kicked. Let’s hope.” I have to figure it out before I get over there, or that she says it to Twilight when they talk.

“The good luck has to start somewhere, eh?”

I don’t think I should need luck to not get kicked, it should just be the normal state. Either way, though, I just nod my head as we head out for the day. Cloudkicker is going to do something, I’m not exactly sure what, and I’m going to be at Twilight’s for the day. I’m not actually sure what I’m going to be doing either, aside from maybe answering some questions. I’m sure they might be about who I am, what I do, how I’m different, and maybe some things about how I plan on interacting with things.

Generally, those seem like fairly safe bets.

Beyond the basic premises of the questions, though, I’m lost.

That is the thing that is in the back of my mind, though, the present situation pushing it back there. I know it might seem strange, but the concept of all of these ponies jumping away from me is one that is becoming less and less amusing by the day. The first day, it had been something that I wasn’t sure was real. The second day, though, was the one that ended with me getting kicked in the face. This is the fourth day that I have been here, and now I’m just annoyed by the fact that they still see fit to act like I’m some sort of monster.

The logical part of my brain is telling me to calm down, though, because of how it must look. I’m a new creature that just appeared one day. I’m not even a small creature, like maybe a dog or a cat. I’m actually a giant creature, larger than almost every of these ponies that I have run into so far. It definitely isn’t helping that I’m scowling right now, but I still am. After all, this isn’t the type of situation that I wanted to happen when I made up my mind to travel into the future.

Another thought comes to mind. Why can’t I just be of one mind about this? I need to stop trying to factor in what the ponies think, and why they think it, and just go by what I think. That would make everything so much easier. I could just say they’re wrong and get it over with, and then figure out how I’m going to move on from that fact. Instead, part of my brain is trying to tell me that it makes perfect sense that they don’t trust me.

The worst part is that it’s starting to win.

Curse you logic.

It is around this time that I bump into Cloudkicker. With a shake of my head, I look up to see that we’re standing in front of a tree. I have to wonder why we’re standing in front of a tree. Wait, no, this isn’t just a tree. This is a tree with a door, windows, and other things that signify that this is a building … in a tree. I should probably ask about this, since it doesn’t really make all that much sense to me. I look to Cloudkicker, who just looks back at me with a grin on her face.

“I know I have a nice flank and all, but try to behave out here…”

I instantly regret not paying attention to where I’m walking.

“So… a tree…” I try to avoid the subject of her flank as much as I can. I’m going to try to make sure that I don’t keep giving her ammo to attack me with. She doesn’t seem to like that, but merely clears her throat before turning back to the tree.

“You’ll get used to it.” It’s almost as if she doesn’t understand why I just said that. “This is where Twilight lives, in the library.”

A library in a tree sounds hilarious. Books are made of paper which is made of wood. A tree is made of wood. The books are, really, made of trees. In this instance, it is like having a tree within a tree, or many small trees within a giant tree. “So… should you knock, or should I?” I figure it’s best to not just walk in, even if this is a library. The last time I did that, I ended up being kicked in the face. Last time was at a store, too, so it should have been open to the public. “Actually, how about you do it?”

Today is not a day I want to have end with a kick to the face.

“Fine, fine, big baby.” Cloudkicker walks up to the door, knocks, and then takes a couple of steps back. “Duchess isn’t the type to kick anyway.” That’s the name, and it’s good information. Then again, she didn’t think that Bon-Bon would assault me either. “She’s much more likely to do something with her magic. Maybe teleport you to the moon or something.” That is actually worse. A human can’t survive in space, so that’s a death sentence right there.

At least it would probably be quick.

The door opens, though, and I see nobody. At least, I don’t see anybody until I look down to see that there is a small creature standing there. He doesn’t look all that happy, slightly annoyed would be the best way to describe it. There is at least one good thing, though. When he looks at me, I don’t see the same fear that I usually see on the faces of ponies. The thing that I see is just annoyance, as if I’m just another problem to him. That’s amazing. It’s new. It means that he isn’t like to run away in terror.

Then he looks at Cloudkicker.

“I take it this is the reason why I haven’t been able to sleep much the past few days.” Ouch, that isn’t something that will put anyone in a good mood. “Twilight has been up almost nonstop trying to figure out what this new thing is that showed up. Well, Celestia sent a letter about a human… so she knows a little.” Spike lets out a yawn. “But she doesn’t know anything about them. She keeps going on about how the books contradict each other, it’s rea-“

“SPIKE!” A lavender unicorn just appears out of nowhere, with a flash of light. “I thought I told you that I needed a cup of tea. There’s no way I-“ It is about this time that she looks at me, and her eyes become wider than I think should be possible. Her expression is one of shock, obviously. I don’t know what to do, so I look over at Cloudkicker. She seems to be having an excellent time, barely able to hold in a chuckle.

“I come bearing gifts, Duchess. Well, a gift.”

A momentary frown toward Cloudkicker, then she looks back at me. It is around this time that her horn glows. “Thanks, gotta go, bye.” Another thing that happens about this time is that there’s a giant flash of light that envelops me. It feels almost like when I was transported here, but on a much smaller scale. If coming here was a shove, this is a gentle poke. I really need to come up with better ways of describing this, especially considering the fact that I’m going to have to explain this to my parents at some point.

Another flash, and we’re standing in what looks to be a room. Well, obviously it’s a room. It is a room filled with machines, some chairs. All of it seems a little small for me. Maybe I should say something about that to Twilight. “You know I’m not going to be able to sit in that chair, right? I’m a little bigger than the ponies you’re used to.” Actually, that might be a stalling tactic. I don’t even know if I want to sit in that chair. There are machines everywhere, wires, things that make this seem like a laboratory.

She looks up at me, a smirk on her face, as her horn lights up again. And then the chair gets bigger. I don’t even know what to say now. “So … I was told that this was going to be the easiest way make sure I don’t get kicked again.” I look from a machine to Twilight and back to one of the machines. “That you were going to ask some questions and we were going to go from where.” None of that requires machines. At least I don’t think any of that requires machines.

“This is the perfect opportunity for us to understand you more. Cloudkicker isn’t a scientist, she doesn’t understand.” I really doubt that I understand either. “The more we understand about you, the safer we will feel around you.” Her eyes practically seem to sparkle at the idea of getting to know more about me. Actually, this might be able to work both ways. If she can get information about me, maybe she will be willing to answer some questions later on.

At least, that’s what I’m going to be pushing for. “Sure thing, but maybe we can have a little … back and forth later.” I either agree to this or she might force it on me. It isn’t like I can do anything to stop magic, after all. “I’d love to learn some more about ponies and Equestria from a knowledgeable source. And Celestia-“

“Princess Celestia.”

“Right, Princess Celestia didn’t seem like she had much time.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Now, I’m going to need you to sit in that chair.” I sit down, it’s fairly comfortable for a chair, more comfortable than I had been expecting anyway. “I’m going to attach some wires to your head and do some scans.” I actually can’t remember the last time I’ve had my head scanned. I also have no idea when they’re scanning for.

Maybe I should ask.

“What are you scanning for?”

“Well, the normal things.” That isn’t an answer. “I’m going to be checking the activity of your brain, figuring out how it works.” That seems like a normal thing. “And after that, I’m going to need you to move over to this other machine that I made.” Her hoof then points to a second machine. I don’t even know how to describe it, let alone what it does. If I had to, though, I would describe it as a tube with some weird machine attached.

And it looks to be wired up to a monitor.

“That is just a basic scan of the rest of your body.” She seems proud of it.

She goes back to attaching wires to my head. “I have one question, though, before we start. Something Cloudkicker said to me yesterday has been sticking out in my mind.” Twilight turns to me, an expectant expression on her face. “Why does she call you Duchess? Are you some sort of royalty?”

“Ugh. Just ignore that and call me Twilight Sparkle.” That’s a mouthful. “Or Twilight for short. That’s my name, after all. She just likes getting a rise out of me.”

“Then stop letting her get a rise.” That is the easiest way to stop getting picked on, to make sure that it doesn’t provide any satisfaction.

“Easier said than done, human.”

“My name is Roger Fleitas, or just Roger.” I quickly correct her, as if she has any reason to actually know what my name is. A notepad levitates over to her and she writes something down. I have to really hope that it’s my name, because being called human is only a few steps above being called hairless ape at this point.

“And what does that mean?”

This is the first time I can remember being asked what my name means. “I’m named after an ancestor of mine. He was President of a country called the United States of America.” As I say that, I can tell that she wants to ask a lot more questions. There is just a look in her eyes, one that says she wants to have every piece of information that she can have. She shakes her head, though, and she goes over to look at the machine.

“Don’t think I won’t ask you about all of that later.” A button is pushed, and the machine starts up. “But right now, I have to figure you out this way.” I don’t know if I should be happy or worried. “First thing’s first, I’m going to ask you to do some basic tasks. Lift your arm, raise your leg, tilt your head, and stick your tongue out. In that order.”

I don’t know what this has to do with science, but I go along with it anyway. I put my arm into the air, then my leg, tilt my head to one side and then the other, and finally I stick my tongue out. There are a couple of things that happen. Twilight stares at the screen, mumbling some things as she writes up something that I obviously can’t see. The other thing that happens is that I get to feel like a giant idiot because I just did a set of random things, and I did them in the order I was told.

I am so good at following orders.

“Interesting.”

I wish she would tell me what is so interesting.

“Next, I’m going to have to ask you to do a few more things. First, I’m going to need you to tell me about your happiest moment.”

I don’t know which one would be considered my happiest. There are more than a few things that can be considered my happiest. “I would have to say my happiest moment came recently.” When I close my eyes, I can picture that day. “I appeared in Canterlot Castle.” That probably doesn’t make much sense as to how it would be a happy moment. “It’s my happiest because it means my machine worked. I was able to teleport into the future. If I’m able to find a place where it’s nice to live, I can bring my family. Mom and dad deserve some happiness. That’s why I’m here, actually.” I see it in my mind, the push of the button that brought me here.

“Interesting.”

This one doesn’t sound so happy. I look over to see her looking at me. Her expression mirrors the one that Princess Celestia had when I told her about my plan. I don’t know what it is that makes them look at me like that.

“And I’d like to know a sad memory.”

Well, that’s not something I like. I really don’t like the idea of remembering something sad. “Well, that would be when I watched a documentary about what happened to the human race. I just … the idea of being one of the last people of my kind, that isn’t something I like. It didn’t happen to me, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything.”

“And what happened to the human race?”

“Believe me when I say that you don’t want to know.”

That seems to be enough for now. “And now, something that makes you mad … even though I think I know what you’re going to say.”

“Getting kicked in the face for no reason definitely made me a little mad. I don’t even know what I did to deserve that.” It feels good to talk about it.

“Yep, just as I thought.” I wonder if she means what I just said or what the screen is showing. Either of those could be what she thought would happen. In the end, all I can really do is hope that she actually gives me some clue as to what everything that has just happened means. Something happy, something sad, some angry, I don’t think there can be anything else that has some specific need.

“Tell me something that made you feel uncomfortable.”

I think that one’s easy. “Cloudkicker asked me to bang her. That made me feel pretty uncomfortable.”

“And how did you respond?”

“I said … maybe later.” I look at her expression, it’s one of shock. “It just sort of came out. I knew I needed to say no, but my mouth just sort of didn’t follow my brain. That type of thing isn’t the type of question that I’m used to be asked.” A thought comes to my mind, and I just have to ask her the question. “Is that the type of question that gets asked a lot around here? I should know if I’m going to have to deal with … that sort of thing a lot.”

“No, just Cloudkicker .” I can tell that she doesn’t like the pony that is watching over me. I have to wonder why that is. Aside from making me feel incredibly uncomfortable, there isn’t anything wrong with Cloudkicker. It isn’t like she hasn’t been welcoming, and she seems to want to make sure that I’m doing alright. Some people likely don’t get along with each other due to personalities, and the same is likely true for ponies.

“And, I think we’re going to move on to one final thing before we move you to the next machine.”

One more thing, that shouldn’t be too hard. She quickly writes down a bunch of questions onto a piece of paper. Soon enough, it is floating over to me with a quill. I really don’t know if this is some sort of pop quiz, I hope it isn’t. I don’t know much about this species, this culture, or this planet. I used to know things about earth, but obviously it isn’t the same.

“This is just a simple test to see how your brain reacts when dealing with a fact based test.”

Who are the rulers of Equestria?

What is the name of the holiday that marks the longest day of the year?

What are the four types of ponies?

Who is Nightmare Night a holiday for?

Why is Twilight Sparkle the smartest pony imaginable?

What species is Spike?

I look at the quiz, and my mind goes blank. This isn’t because I’m bad at tests. I’ve done at least a dozen tests over the years, usually big ones. There is something about the idea of being tested on things that I don’t know, though, seems a bit wrong. One of the questions is even an opinion based question. There is no way that I would know if Twilight is the smartest, let alone why she would be if this turns out to be a true statement.

I have to do this, though.

I have to figure out the answers.

Who are the rulers of Equestria? Obviously this means there are multiple rulers, so I have to think out their names. I know there is a king and a queen, that only makes sense. King what, though? Queen what? I really can’t come up with an answer, so I just put the obvious answer. The king and queen . That makes sense to me, so I have to move on to the next one.

Summer Solstice . That is what it’s called on earth, I think. My parents never really cared for that sort of thing, and I still don’t.

Unicorn. Pegasus. Normal. All-three-icorn. That last one isn’t a real answer, I know it. I don’t think that the third type is called normal, either. There’s just no word that I can think of that can describe what it means for them to have no wings or horn.

No clue . I’m not even going to bother coming up with something fake. There’s no way she can honestly expect that I know about special holidays. My eyes look up to the second question, though, which instantly shoots that idea down. She is expecting me to know things that I don’t actually have any real way of knowing.

Another thing I don’t know. This one is just opinion. I have to wonder if this is some sort of joke test while she figures out what a real test should be like.

Dragon . This is the one that I know for sure. This is the one that I know is true. I had been told that Spike is a dragon, and that is a small dragon. That, of course, leads me to wonder about what larger dragons might be like. Most importantly, I have to wonder just how large the dragons are. That might be something that I have to ask.

“Alright, I’m done.”

With that, the paper levitates over to Twilight. She lets out a sigh. “Princesses Celestia and Luna rule over the kingdom. We celebrate the longest day with the Summer Sun Celebration. The three tribes are unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony with our rulers being called alicorns. Nightmare Night is a holiday about Nightmare Moon, a historical figure. Twilight Sparkle is the smartest because she has studied the most. You do know that Spike’s a dragon, though, so that’s good.”

“And how the heck should I have known any of that?” The sigh is the thing that annoys me most about this. “I’ve been here for all of four days, and one of them I was stuck being examined by a nurse who probably thinks I want to eat her.” This is frustrating.

“You weren’t, I was studying how your brain reacts to a stressful situation like a test that you don’t know the answers to.” I glare at her. “The sigh was because you answered one of the questions sarcastically. All-three-icorn? What does that even mean? And normal? That’s just wrong…” I begin to feel like she’s going to lecture me, but she quickly drops the piece of paper into a trash can. “But enough about that, let’s move on to the next test. The full body scanner.”

At least I know what the machine is now. I pull off the wires, and then head over to the next machine.

Nothing will go wrong with a full body scan, right?

Chapter 7

There’s the sound of the door closing, and it sounds like it might just be sealing. I don’t even know if I like the sound of that. It makes it seem like I’m stuck in here. Of course, it’s just a scanner. It isn’t like there’s a lot that can go wrong with a scanner. At least there’s not a lot that I can think will go wrong. I doubt she’s going to put me in here if there’s a giant health problem, anyway.

“Don’t worry, I think I’ve fixed the problem where it blows up after a few minutes.”

Do my ears deceive me, or am I standing in something that had previous versions that blew up? Are the words that she just said that she thinks she fixed the problem? This sounds like something that she should know about, that she should be sure. “You think you fixed the problem? Couldn’t you have told me this before I stepped in?”

“Nope, then you might not have stepped in.” That’s true, but that isn’t a good defense. I should be able to make a decision like this with the knowledge of my potential demise. It actually makes it a little worse.

“You’re darn right I wouldn’t have.”

“Might as well get this done as quickly as possible, then. Afterwards, you can go read up on Equestria while I get to look over the results.” Curse you, Twilight. Curse you and your machines. I’m stuck on here now, can’t really do anything. She does have a point about how we just need to get this done as quickly as possible, though. If she can get it done before the possible explosion, then I can go figure out what I’m doing next today.

I know what she wants me to do, but that might not be what I choose to do.

A few buttons are pressed, and there’s a strange sound. I don’t know if the machine is supposed to sound like a growling wolf, but it does. Actually, that might only be something that worries me because of what she told me. If Twilight hadn’t told me about the problem with the explosion, I would probably feel a lot more comfortable right now. Ignorance, at least in this case, is something that I wish she would have allowed me.

But the knowledge is out there, and now I’m worrying.

Next come the lights, bright white lights. I actually have to close my eyes to make sure that it doesn’t hurt them. It hit me so fast, though, that it takes a second for me to actually react. Oh boy, bright lights definitely hurt my eyes. I wish there was some sort of warning, because my eyes are burning. This is the type of thing that is likely to hurt until I open my eyes again and maybe blink a few times, cause my eyes to tear up. Something tells me that isn’t such a good idea right now.

Even with my eyes closed, I can see the light well enough.

Beyond the feeling of light in my eyes, I don’t actually feel any different. The capsule is a little warm, and I’m of course still rocking my birthday suit, but beyond that, this is nothing. I don’t know what I might have expected to feel, though. This is just a scanner, it isn’t any sort of medical device. Well, I suppose that it is a medical scanner. It isn’t anything that does anything more than simply scan a person. Actually, I don’t even know what it scans for. Or even if it’s a proper medical scanner.

She told me she made this herself.

Suddenly, the groaning becomes a high pitched screech. The light starts to pick up, and then suddenly the light shuts off. I wonder if this means that the scanner is done.It must mean that the scan is done. Either that, or something went wrong and I’m dead but just don’t realize. That likely would have come at the hands of some sort of huge explosion. Part of me hopes that if this kills me, this machine, that it is with an explosion.

I want to do some damage when I go.

“That’s it, Roger. You can step out now and go upstairs. The fiction section is to your left as you exit. It’s the first few shelves.” Twilight doesn’t even bother to look at me, it’s almost as if she just hopes that I follow her instructions to the letter. It’s also like she trusts that I’m going to do exactly as she instructs without any deviation. “And the nonfiction is past that.”

She must really think I’m going to read.

I have to admit, that idea does seem like a good one.

I walk up the stairs, open the door, and take a few steps into the room. It isn’t a large library; that is certain. I wonder if there’s some reason why the library is so small. Maybe the town doesn’t need a larger library. I don’t know how many ponies are in this town, so I can’t possibly guess how many of them actually come here to read books. Another few steps, and then I see that there’s a certain little dragon staring up at me.

He still doesn’t look happy, not at all.

“Do I have something on my face?” I have to wonder why he’s just staring at me. It isn’t a glare, but it is something that is incredibly close. Spike ends up standing up and taking a few steps toward me. I don’t know if he thinks he’s being intimidating, but he isn’t. If anything, the word that I would use to describe Spike right now is adorable.  Of course, I don’t think that he’ll like it if I end up telling him that.

Maybe I’ll tell him later.

“I’m not sure who you are, or what you are, but I am watching you. “ With that, he takes a few steps backwards and sits down. The way he looks at me tells me that he is completely serious. The first and second make perfect sense - there is no way that he can know what I am. The idea of humans seems to be one that is mostly myth. Lyra sounded like she has been insulted for the belief. Twilight knows, but she is student to Princess Celestia. I don’t know how Princesses Celestia knows, but maybe she has some books that no other pony has.

I decide to play along. “And I’m watching you.” I stare right back at him. There is something about his gaze that makes me want to look away, but I don’t. Instead, I try to space out while I continue my stubborn staring contest. I just can’t let myself lose one of these things to a purple dragon that is even smaller than the ponies around here. It just doesn’t bode well if I can’t win this.

Ten minutes of this staring contest pass by without either of us giving in.

“So, what do we do now?” Even as he asks what we should do, he isn’t blinking. I don’t know how he’s able to do this. I have been cheating; one eye was always open me practically winking every so often to keep one of my eyes moist at all times. The questions that he asks, though, is a good one. If we keep staring at each other, nothing will happen. The only problem is that I have no clue what we can do around here aside from read.

Which is what Twilight wants me to do.

“I don’t know. In case you can’t tell, I’m not exactly from around here. Twilight thinks I should read some books.” I look at the collection of books, then to him. I can tell that he isn’t the type who would like to sit and enjoy a good book. That is a real shame, reading can be fun. Right now, though, I am simply enjoying the idea of running into another creature that isn’t acting like I’m the next biggest threat to come to this land. “That sounds like a good idea, but maybe later.”

“That isn’t the type of thing I think Twilight would like to hear…” When he starts to chuckle, I can’t help but join in. She does seem like an incredibly serious pony, at least compared to most of the others I have run into. I can’t take most of them seriously, not even the one that decided to try to kick my face in. Twilight seems serious about things that actually matter, though. She seems serious about the things that aren’t likely to end with violence.

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” is the best reasoning that I can think of right now. I shrug, then look at the books once again. I might have to get some of the books to read for later. I have always loved learning new things, and it seems quite obvious that those books contain a lot of information that I don’t know. I can learn about the history, about the holidays, and about the culture in general.

Maybe I’ll start off with learning about the Princesses.

“So, what are you anyway?” That is actually a question that I have answered a lot recently. I don’t know if I want to answer it again. Then again, maybe it is best if I just lay it out. I’m trying to get them to stop being afraid of me, and stop kicking me, so the best way to do that is to answer basic questions. I answer what I am, who I am, what I want, and eventually the hurting will stop. That is just the way that it will work, I just know it.

“Human.”

“Never heard of humans. Where are the rest of you?” That is the difficult part. I know, part of me knows, that this could turn out bad. I am trying to keep my secret to a need-to-know basis. Up until now, I can count on one hand who knows about it, I have to ask myself if Spike is a good addition to the group of ponies that know my secret. Well, group of ponies and a dragon if I decide that it is a good idea to actually go through with it.

Better question, the one that I can’t answer, is why shouldn’t I tell him? For all I know, Twilight will tell him anyway.

“We’re from around here, just about a long time ago.” He gives me this look, like he doesn’t understand what I just said, I probably need to work on my wording. Maybe I should just be completely blunt about it. “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but I’m from the past. All of the humans are dead. I’m here because I made this.” I show off my wrist, which still has the device on it. This seems to trigger some understanding. Maybe I should finish it off by letting him know what I’m going to do. “And then I’m going to bring my parents here if I can get Twilight to make every one of those ponies calm down.”

Before now, the thought that I’m naked with a wrist machine never came to mind.

And now it is right there, in the back of my mind.

“Whoa! That sounds so cool! I wish I could travel through time.” I do have to wonder what it would be like if he could travel through time. I wonder what he might do if he could go backwards, if he could see what it is that humanity did during their prime. The only downside would be that they might not take too kindly to a small purple dragon. “I could help out with Nightmare Moon.”

That is a name I remember, though I quickly put it aside. Another thing that comes to mind is that Spike seems genuinely nice. He isn’t thinking about what he could do for himself, he’s thinking about how he can help others better. That is something that separates us, I don’t think I’m that nice. “You’re too nice for your own good, Spike.” He looks at me as if the idea of being too nice is a foreign concept. “Don’t ever change, though. The world needs nice people, or it’ll collapse.”

Either that, or it will have a lot of ponies kicking others in the face.

“I’m nothing special. The ponies around here are generally really nice.” I can’t help but break that lie with what has happened to me.

“Way nicer than that Bon-Bon.” I feel kind of bad, throwing her under the metaphorical bus like that, but she is the worst offender. “She kicked me in the face. It’s why I can do this right now.” I take a deep breath and breathe out my nose. There is a whistling sound. “That’s after all the ponies here ran away from me like I have some plague. Just because I’m different, just because I eat meat.” Spike looks at me concerned. “Well, used to. I don’t think I’m going to anymore, it would be impossible. There doesn’t seem to be a non-sentient animal around here. And eating a sentient animal just feels … wrong.”

“Non-sentient?” Is this really a concept that escapes him? “There are non-sentient animals where you come from?” I think he is expecting that I’m going to tell him I’m joking. There are some concepts that we just don’t like, ones that go outside of our understanding of the world. This is one of those, or at least it seems to be one of those, for Spike.

“Afraid so. Evolution at its finest, really.” I say with a bit of sarcasm. “I’m guessing that I guessed correctly, then. There are no non-sentient animals around here.” I simply get a shake of the head. That could prove to be incredibly annoying. I’m not obsessed with meat, not by any stretch, but I do enjoy it. The idea of never being able to eat meat again is one that I feel is going to be incredibly difficult to get over. “Well, guess that means I get to go vegetarian.”

“You could always try gems.” Spike rushes over to a box and pulls out a single gemstone. I really don’t know what to think of it, as he hands it right over to me. I know that the old me, on old earth, couldn’t eat gems. They are just too tough. There is always the chance that I can here, though. Everything seems to be completely different. I look down at the gem, then back to Spike for a moment. “Go on, that one of my favorites.”

This is one of the kindest gestures that any of these ponies have shown so far.

I do bite down on it, though, and it just hurts my teeth. “I thought this might happen.” I rub my jaw, as if that will stop the tooth ache. It doesn’t, but it is the gesture that counts. “I did get a taste, and it tastes good. But I can’t really bit into it.” I can still taste the gem in my mouth, the first part is not a lie. To me, it tastes like a rock. I really don’t think that rocks are anything good to eat. I know better than to say that, though.

Besides, he is being nice to be. I have to guard the few creatures that are actually being nice to me.

“So, what should I call you? I mean, ‘human’ just sounds wrong. Imagine if everypony went around calling me dragon.” I see a shudder, as if that isn’t just an example. I wonder what he would say if I were to ask him about it. “We all have names for a reason, they’re part of what gives us an identity beyond what we are. Dragon is what I am, not who I am. Human is what you are, not who you are.”

This little dragon is smart.

“I’m Roger Fleitas. That’s what my parents named me anyway.”

Spike nods his head. “Awesome name there, Roger.” I don’t know if he really thinks that, or if he’s just being nice. Either way, I’ll take it. If somebody is being nice for the sake of being nice, it is much better than the alternative. So far, he is being way better than all of the ponies that are out there. I can’t help myself at this point, though, a question escapes.

“Why are you being so nice?” There seems to be a growing number of creatures here that are nice enough and, I know that it might sound weird, but they’re ruining my ability to classify everything in one giant box. I need more rude ponies, it might help everything go back to being me against everything. Of course, the upside to this change is that it might continue. It might just end with there being enough creatures being nice that they convince the others to be nice as well.

The answer I get, though, isn’t what I expect.

“I know what it’s like to be seen as an outsider, to be treated like a threat for no real reason.” There is no smile as he says this. I kind of feel bad for asking, it seems to be the thing that brought about line of thought. “And I just don’t want to be the reason why anypony has to deal with something like that. I just can’t be.” I can’t help myself, I walk over to him and give him a hug.

“And you won’t be. That just doesn’t seem to be who you are.” Spike looks up at me a doubting expression on his face.

“You hardly know me.”

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m an excellent judge of character.”  I have never said that, mostly because it isn’t true at all. I stop hugging him, take a few steps back, and turn to see Twilight standing there. She has this smile on her face, and I can only wonder how much of this she has seen. “And just how long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” I want to tell her that the words ‘long enough’ aren’t a good enough answer, but it’s likely that she wouldn’t agree. A piece of paper floats over to me. Printed on the sheet is an image of something. “This is the picture of one of the many things that interest me about you.” I don’t quite understand what I’m supposed to be seeing, really, so I just stare at her blankly. “This is a picture of you as seen by the scanner. There are a lot of things that just seem weird. We should start with the top and go down.”

I really don’t think I like this idea.

“The top is the brain and skull.” I look at the picture, only to soon find that she levitates another over to me. This one is just of what I’m guessing is my brain. I really wouldn’t know, this would be the first time I have gotten a picture of my brain. “The skull is extremely dense, which might be why you were able to be kicked without it doing much more than breaking your nose.”

I simply nod - it seems like the best idea.

“Actually, the more interesting thing is your brain. It is huge, almost taking up your entire skull.” The idea that I have a huge brain is something that I like. It makes it sound like I’m incredibly smart. “More importantly, this is the most complex brain I’ve ever examined.” I really don’t know what that means, so I just look at her with a confused expression. “I don’t understand it much either. But when I had you move your body, only these portions lit up.” Her hoof points to a few areas.

“And when I gave you that test, these did.” With that, she motions over the rest of the picture of the brain. “With the emotional responses all coming from this section.” One of the sections of the brain that she had just pointed to gets pointed to again. “And that is just going by your brain. I might be wrong, though, your entire species might be like this. Everything that we ponies have two of, you have four, and everything else you have two. You have a lot of spare organs, Mr. Fleitas.”

I don’t know if I like the idea of them being called spares. I also don’t know if I like the idea of having so many organs. I remember being told that I’m normal, and until now I haven’t looked into it. I don’t think my parents are going to be happy when I ask them about this. I look down at the picture. “If my guess is correct, I have two livers.” I look up to see her nod. “Humans only have one liver.” I take another look down, there are several things that just look wrong.

“You’re also missing normal lungs.”

I can’t believe that has escaped me all these years.

“I don’t know how you function. You’re a mystery.” I hear a hint of excitement in her voice, as if she wants to try to figure me out to eight. I don’t even know if that’s possible, I still have to head back and get some sleep at some point. “Other than the enlarged brain, the extra organs, and the lack of lungs … well, that seems to be enough for a day, but I have to wonder if it said anything else. I really don’t know a lot about medical science, so these things mean very little to me.”

I look out the window and see that the sun is setting. Apparently, the day is almost over. Then, my body loudly reminds me that I haven’t exactly eaten much today.


“I should probably head back. Cloudkicker is probably wondering where I am right about now. And she might have some dinner.” I look to see a sad expression on Twilight’s face, but there isn’t much that I can do. Then I look to Spike, who just has a grin on his face. I don’t know why, but I am kind of afraid of the answer. I need to know, though.

Luckily, he tells us both.

“I’m going to go make some dinner for the tree of us.” That isn’t something that I would expect. “After all, Twilight, you need to know about his eating habits. And you could hook up the machine to check over him while he’s asleep. Who knows what his brain does?” I want to just tell him that I dream, and then tell Twilight that I just eat like a normal creature, but I get the feeling that he just outsmarted me. I don’t even know why he wants me to stay here.

“Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”

I don’t know if fun is the way I would describe it.

~

Two meals with sandwiches in just as many days. This is something I am going to have to get used to. There is no meat, there are only plants and eggs, on occasion. Vegetables and fruits and hay are the plants that I know they eat. Flowers are clearly something they eat, too, considering this is yet another time when I have eaten a sandwich made with flowers as the insides.

Next is bed time.

Or so I think. Before that is me being hooked up to a machine after a makeshift bed is created. I look up at Twilight, who simply chuckles. “Just think about it this way. All of the big tests are out of the way. Tomorrow, we’re just going to have a normal discussion. That way, I can learn about your species and you can learn about Equestria.” I look over as she starts to walk away, and there is an extra piece of paper tha she picks up as she walks away.

“What’s that?”

For a second she stops, then she turns and looks at me with a smile on her face. “Nothing major, just some notes that I took about this whole thing. Some of the answers you gave, some of the things you said, and some of the things I saw, just gave me a few new ideas to think about.”

I know she’s hiding something, but I don’t know what.

I will figure it out eventually.

Chapter 8

I wake up with a stretch of my arms, ready to go forth into another day. Seize the day, I think that’s how people refer to it. Hopefully, today will be a day worth seizing. Right hand goes up to scratch my head as I yawn, just to notice that there are wires attached to my head.

Oh, right, the test. I remember now, she wants to know what my brain activity is like when I’m sleeping and dreaming.

I wonder what it is that the papers say.

I know what she told me about them, or at least what she told me about some of them. I have a lot of extra organs and no lungs. At the time, it hadn’t really sank in. Right now, though, I’m starting to wonder how it is that I work. I know that I’m a bit different from everybody else, even at home, but I just learned about my lungs. I had gotten the idea about everything else from dad, but that lungs thing is something that I should have asked about yesterday.

Maybe that’s what’s on the paper. Maybe she’s going to explain about everything that is me. Maybe I can get some sort of explanation about how I’m living with no lungs. I take a deep breath, and that works. How do I take a breath without lungs? Maybe that was a mistake on her system. Or maybe there’s something on that paper that helps explain everything in my system because of that machine that scanned me completely.

All I have to do is head over, she’ll never have to know that I looked.

No, no, she would definitely be mad at you if you go and look at those papers. I may not care about whether or not she’s happy with me, but I do know self-preservation. I know that a unicorn who is apparently the Element of Magic might be able to do something that might end my life. At the very least, she might be able to do something that will be incredibly painful. She hasn’t done anything yet, but that isn’t a guarantee that she might not do something in the future.

I have to make sure that I’m careful enough for now.

Holy crap, I’m afraid of everything around here. The more that I think about it, the worse this place seems to be. If it is at the point that I’m afraid of a small purple pony, then something is definitely wrong. I really do need to get everything sorted out before I even think about bringing my parents here. If I’m afraid of these things, I can only imagine what my mom might be like.

My dad would probably be all right, though.

I walk over to the stairs, up them, and slowly open the door. It makes sense to me that I’m hiding behind the door with only my head poking through a little. Spike might have been nice enough yesterday, but Twilight is a variable that I still do not understand. She seems nice, but that might be because she wants something from me. She wants all my information, all of my memories. Okay, that makes it sound a lot worse than it actually is.

She is definitely being nice, even if it is because she wants something.

I’m actually glad that she wants something, it makes this so much easier. If she hadn’t wanted to know about me, then I would never stand a chance of getting the ponies here to actually trust me enough to be nice. Then I would be stuck going somewhere else, and that would just start the process over again.

I need to really just make a decision right now.

Is it worth is to try to stay here, or should I just go now before it gets any worse. That is actually something that I have put much thought into. My reaction from this morning tells me that there might be more than a few problems with me staying here. I am definitely nit my calm self, and I have even started to wake up early for me. This place is already starting to change me.

I see a pair of eyes look at me, but my only reaction is to slowly close the door and head back downstairs. I really need to decide this before I go forward. If I head upstairs, that means that I am going to push forward. I can jump to another time, be it backwards or forwards, from down here. That would mean leaving my journal behind, and it would mean I leave Cloudkicker behind. If I do go up there, and I do try, that means I am putting my faith in a pony I barely know.

I lay back down on the makeshift bed, and I close my eyes. “If I choose to stay here, what are the upsides? Some of the ponies seem genuinely nice, and the others might be if they change their opinions about me. There is a known food source. The atmosphere is still here and there is a day and night cycle. The seasons seem to be similar.” It really isn’t easy coming up with things that can keep me anywhere. I really don’t know of any outstanding reason to stay.

“Going makes everything easier.” I continue. “There isn’t the need for me to try to win these ponies over. Going back means that I just live with my parents. Going forward means that I might meet a new species. It might even be humans.” The problem is that there aren’t any fantastic reasons for me to leave, either. Both sides are equally meaningful, and by that I mean they don’t have merits beyond what might happen. The downsides for each are theoretical as all. “And either choice can be wrong if the what-ifs don’t turn out to be right.”

Leaving so soon, Roger?” I practically jump, it sounds like Spike is down here. I open my eyes, look to see that he is there, and then close them again. How did he get down here without me knowing anyway? I must really not be paying attention to anything around me if this is able to happen. A shake of my head, I decide to look right at him.

“Some things don’t work out the way I thought.” I don’t know how to put it. “Since I got here, nothing has gone right. I’ve been shunned, I’ve been kicked twice, and Twilight Sparkle seems to see me as nothing more than an unknown that she wants to study.” I don’t see a change from the mysterious expression, so I continue. “I had hoped to make everything change, to get Twilight to stand up for me, but I’m rethinking that.”

“Why?” That is a good question.

“Because everything here is just so … “ I motion for him to get closer, and he does. “Scary.” He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. “I may be big, but that doesn’t seem to matter much around here. Their ponies are stronger than they seem, I can’t do anything about magic, and I know nothing about anything around here.” It is time to admit something that is probably going to make me seem like a wimp. “This morning, I didn’t look at the papers that are from the tests because I’m afraid of what a powerful unicorn like Twilight might be able to do.”

After all of this, Spike just looks frustrated. “That’s it? You had a bad few days and now you’re going to just run away? Really?” I don’t know how to put it that doesn’t agree with his basic premise. “I thought I saw something like my situation in you. We’re both different, one of a kind in a land of ponies. But you’re just going to run away at the first sign of trouble.” There is something about his look, the one he’s giving me, that makes me feel ashamed.

“What should I do? I don’t belong here. You have friends at least.” I don’t know if I should be saying thus. Spike is being nice to me, or at least it seems like he’s trying to be. He certainly was yesterday. “I met you yesterday, Cloudkicker is just watching me for Princess Celestia. The people I know are my parents, and they’re back two hundred million years.”

“I want you to grow up.” By now, he is maybe an inch away from my face. “You’re pretty much the last of your kind, the only one here. Does that make it hard? Yeah. But running away doesn’t solve anything. And if you run away from this, you’re just going to keep running.” That doesn’t actually sound like a bad idea. When the going gets tough, the tough get the heck out of there. “I thought about running away too, just once.”

I’m curious enough. “Why?” That seems like a normal question to me. He has friends, or at least he has a friend. I don’t think there is anything that could make him want to run away.

“It was about a year before I came to Ponyville with Twilight.” I notice that he looks up, his expression is already a frown. “She was really busy with something from the Princess. I decided that I needed to go to Pony Joe’s and get some doughnuts. Extra sprinkles. It was when I was walking back, though, when it happened. I ran into one of the worst ponies I have ever had the misfortune of running into.”

I wonder who it could be. Maybe it was Bon-Bon.

“There is a prince in Canterlot. He is the nephew of Princess Celestia. His name is Prince Blueblood.” That name doesn’t lend itself to anything other than being royalty. I decide to not say anything, though. “He looks at me with this angry look, like he can’t stand to see me. Then he calls in the guard, yelling about a dragon at the castle and how I need to be thrown out.” I notice that Spike’s fists are clenched. “Several guards show up, and they point their spears at me. At this point, I thought I was going to get kicked out. I would have if Shining Armor hadn’t shown up and bailed me out.” It seems like the problem had been solved, so I don’t know why he wanted to run away.

“I just felt so powerless. I had been hated before, but that was the first time that I had actually gotten even close to being kicked out because of it. I just knew that if I moved out, if I found a cave somewhere, I would be able to live my life in peace.” That doesn’t sound like a story that ends with him just deciding to stay. “It wasn’t until I was poaching up later that I realized something I had forgotten. If I ran away, they would have won. Those ponies that hated me, feared me, wanted me gone, they would have gotten what they wanted.” It sounds to me like he stayed for spite. “And I would have gained nothing. I would have even made Twilight feel horrible. She probably would have blamed herself.”

That makes sense.

But who will be sad if I leave? “That makes sense, but I don’t have anybody like that. I just have spite pushing me forward.”

“That might be enough for now.” I don’t think so, but maybe he has something else to say. “Maybe eventually, you won’t need that. You don’t make best friends in a few days, after all. And definitely not in one visit.” Spike put a claw on my shoulder. “But I have a lot of hope that you might end up finding somepony here that makes you not want to leave for good.” This is another thing that I’m not sure about, but I’m starting to think that maybe I should give it another chance.

“I guess I can stay … for now.” I don’t want to make promises. “After all, maybe they’ll be nice after Twilight talks to them. And that can only happen if I talk to her about it.” Spike simply nods his head, his expression now a smile. “And if she’s as nice as you say, she’ll try to help me out.” He seems really sure that this isn’t a wasted venture. Of course, he is also her friend.

“Don’t you worry, she will.”

With that, I stand back up and start to walk for the stairs. “You think you can come out there with me? I don’t know why, but something about you just … it would make this a lot easier.” There was something about the idea of a creature that understands, at least partially, what I’m going through. Aside from that, I know that nothing will happen to me while I have Spike with me. Something tells me nothing will happen anyway, considering what he thinks of Twilight.

Even if she might do something otherwise, she is probably incredibly nice around Spike.

“Sure thing, Roger.”

I wait for him to catch up, and then the both of us go up the stairs. I open the door, quickly this time, and move into the room. If I am going to do this, and I am, I have to do this quickly. I can’t give myself time to chicken out, to reason why this might be a bad decision. I have to go out there, I have to make sure that I talk to her. If something goes wrong, then I am off the hook for anyone saying that I haven’t been putting in as much effort as can be expected. Or this could go really well and I can have been worrying over nothing, Twilight able to talk the ponies into being nice.

Also, I can win the lottery.

Both of this things seem equally likely.

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” I have to wonder if she saw my attempt to hide down stairs. Maybe she had sent Spike down to talk to me, I really don’t know. Either way, I’m up here now and the only thing I can think to do is smile and wave. Her horn isn’t lighting up, so she isn’t preparing anything in the ways of spells. “I thought that maybe I had scared you off. You seemed pretty desperate to stay downstairs.”

I now know that she had seen my retreat.

Nothing for me to do now, though, but try to make a better impression.

“I forgot something.” That is the worst excuse I think I have ever came up with. I have everything I did before, and nothing more. It isn’t like I wear clothes, or have my book. I still have the device on my wrist, but that hadn’t been downstairs anyway. “I call it my courage. Spike helped me find it.” I have to admit, that is the best lime I think I have ever said.

Maybe I should write it down when I get back.

“Alright. Breakfast is going to get cold soon, I’m sure you’d want a nice meal before we get to the questions.” Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I have to wonder if this is going to be another time where I get to eat something made out of hay. It probably is, that’s just something I’m going to have to get used to.

“That’s the truth, and I’m going to have to ask you for a favor as well.” She looks at me, as if to ask what it is. “It’s a big favor, I won’t say anything if you end up saying no, but-“ It is around this time that my stomach decides that it isn’t going to wait. That’s always annoying, the fact that I’m a slave to my need for food. “It can wait until after we eat. At least that’s what my stomach thinks…”

Everybody laughs, even me, and then we go into the kitchen.

~

I wonder if hay is something I will ever get used to.

It isn’t as bad tasting as the first time, but into still seems weird. The only good thing about the meal is that it is filling enough. I look at the plat that had once had bacon, pancakes, and toast on it. I might have to ask for some eggs if I ever come over here again. Twilight looks over at me, as if she expects that we’re going to just walk into the main room. When she looks at me, I look at Spike. He’s washing the dishes, an adorable apron on.

I know when it is better to not comment.

“I was hoping we could wait for Spike.” I glance over to Twilight, who then glances over to see hat Spike is almost done washing the dishes. Even with that knowledge, her expression changes for a second. I barely notice it, and I’m looking right at her.

“Sure thing.” It doesn’t take a second for the smile to return. “I think, maybe, I’m going to help him out up the dishes.” The thing that this says to me is that she doesn’t like waiting. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, it is probably neither. This is probably just something about Twilight that I would know about if I could say I actually know anything about her at all.

I can’t, though, so I’m stuck assuming.

~

As soon as the dishes are done, the three of us walk into the main room of the library. I look over to Spike, who just smiles up at me. Then I look over to Twilight, who is also smiling at me. I don’t know what to think if her smiling, but Spike’s is more transparent. He is the one that got me to come upstairs after all, and he is the one who seems to like me for whatever reason. I know that it is probably because he feels a kinship toward me that I don’t understand.

I have never understood the saying ‘misery loves company’, though. I still don’t understand it, actually. Maybe it has something to do with that.

“Before we start, you wanted to ask for a favor? Cloudkicker hadn’t told me much about what she expected of me, just that I could study you.” That sounds far creepier than it is. I wonder if she will ever catch onto the fact that it just sounded a little creepy. “I think she probably had some sort of idea, and I can only assume your favor has something to do with it.”

I look down at Spike, then back to Twilight. “Actually, it kind of does. I can only assume you know that I’ve been attacked twice since I came to Equestria, right?” She simply nods, so I continue. “I’m told you’re the type of pony that can help to make sure that doesn’t happen. Maybe if you talk to the pinkies around here, they’ll … at least not dislike me as much. Trust might be a bit much, like is definitely too far, but just not being assaulted would be a big step up.”

Twilight looks at me with an expression that can only be described as one that comes when you’re trying to think before you answer. There is something adorable about that expression. I almost want to pat her on the head, but that is just disrespectful. I remember my mom telling me that when I patted her on the head once. Being adorable is no excuse, apparently. “I can try, but no promises. I just came here a little over a month ago.”

Well, there goes that idea. At least, there might go that idea. “That’s all I can ask for. And if it doesn’t work out…” I don’t want to say it, because it is mean. “I really hope it will, let’s leave it at that.” I know that it might seem wrong to just run away if she doesn’t succeed, but that is just what I plan to do. The alternative is to stay, and to bring my family, to somewhere that is openly hostile to humans. Even if I could deal with it, and I would rather not, my parents don’t need to.

“Alright. I can work this together with my questions. I figure out about you, your intentions, everything about you. Then I can write up a report to send to the Princess, and a speech for the town to make sure that you get … well, I’ll have to figure out what you really want beyond not being assaulted, but that is what the questions are for.” I see a few pads of paper move over to her, and a few quills as well.

I really hope I’m ready for this.

“Alright, for the record, what is the meaning of your name?”

“My name has no meaning of its own. It is a name one of my ancestors had. He was famous for leading a country known as the United States. I don’t know a lot about him beyond that.” As soon as I’m done, she writes it down and looks at me.  

“Your turn.” I look at her confused. “You did say you wanted a back and forth.” I remember saying that earlier. It seems strange that I’m the one that forgot and she’s the one that just reminded me about something that doesn’t help her at all.

On the spot, I have no questions. I give it a couple seconds thought, though, and decide to make the first question about her. “What does your Cutie-Mark mean?” At the very least, I might have some idea about what a star means in regards to a special skill.

“It means that I’m skilled with magic.” That answer alone leads me to what I know the next question should be. But that is a question after she ends up asking me one. “You mentioned the United States and a President. I don’t know anything about either of those. What are they?” I have to admire how she just squeezed two questions into one, it makes everything more efficient.

“The United States is, well was, a country in the distant past. It was a Constitutional Republic, where people would vote for the people who would represent them. The President was one of the leaders of the Government, elected for a four year term.” I watch as she scribbles down notes about what I just said. I have to wonder what she’s saying about the old system. I actually never lived under the rule of the United States, so everything I just said was from a history book. My birth happened long after the county had become little more than a history lesson. “I thought all unicorn could do magic. What makes yours unique?”

Twilight blushes, them looks away. “It’s nothing special, it just means my unique talent is magic. Most unicorn only get spells related to their special talent.” I have to wonder if that means that she is a more powerful unicorn. It might mean the opposite, though. She might have more generalized magic instead of a focus on something great. Either way, at least I know something about unicorns. Spike gently jabs my side.

“She’s the most powerful unicorn here.”

Well, that answers that question.

“Oh stop it, Spike.” I don’t think it is possible for her to blush any more than she is. “Alright, Roger, next question. Why did you choose here?” That is actually a really good question, and one that I doubt she’s going to like my answer to.

“I actually didn’t know where I would land, I just chose two hundred million years in the future and hoped for the best.” I don’t know if my hope is going to turn out to be dashed or not, but I really hope not. “And now here I am, talking to you, trying to figure out what it is that I’m going to do next.” Now it is time for my next question. I could ask any I keep being assaulted, but that is likely a waste of a question. She probably doesn’t know. I should stick to something academic. “I noticed that there is a Guard for the Princess. Does she often get attacked to require such protection?”

I get a confused look. “No. Why would somepony attack Princess Celestia? It isn’t like she’s a mean ruler or anything.” I think I’m starting to get a picture of how things go around here. They don’t attack ponies, not even their rulers, but they attack anything that is strange. Or maybe they just attack things that scare them, whether their attacks are of a physical nature or something else. “You said that you eat meat, way earlier. What would you say to assuage fears that you might try to eat some of the ponies around here?”

Eventually, that question was bound to come up.

“I don’t eat sentient beings. Besides, it isn’t like I ate ponies or horses even when I did eat meat.” I decide to not tell her that it is more if a taste thing. “Sentient beings are thinkers, and thinkers are to be treated as equals. If there had been sentient beings, I doubt I would have ate them before. I’ll just have to get used to,” I shudder as I look over at the kitchen. “Hay.” The next question goes to me. “If there are two Princesses, do all decisions have to be agreed upon by both?”

“Actually, Princess Luna has just recently returned. I think that she mostly listens to her older sister, though.” I have to ask what she means by that next time I get a question. What does she mean that the Princess just came back recently? “I was hoping you might tell me what you think of Equestria as a whole, aside from the two assaults that happened.”

Now this is a loaded question, but I have to answer it.

~

“I think I have enough information.” I don’t know if that sounds good, but I know I need to be less paranoid. She up is trying to help, after all, or at least she says she is. That should be enough for me. “For now, at least. And for that report… and the speech.”

“So you think you’ll be able to get the ponies around here to treat me a little better? And maybe my parents when I bring them?” It is more like an if, but I want to remain hopeful. She seems nice enough, but Twilight is not the only one here. Spike is nice, Cloudkicker is nice, and Lyra is nice. The others are the ones I worry about.

There is that sad expression again. I can tell that the smile that soon appears is being forced. “Let’s just focus on making sure that you’re alright first. Then we can focus on making sure it’s alright for your parents…” I can’t really argue with that logic, though. I know that I want everything to go fast, but things might take a while. I really do wish I could know what it is that she is so sad about. The same expression had looked at me when I had spoken to Celestia when I had told her my plans. Obviously they know something about it that I don’t.

For now, though, I need to work on things I have some power over. This means that I need to get myself accepted by these ponies.

Everything else will come after that.

“Alright.” I take a couple of steps toward the door. “Not to rush, but the sooner that we get this done the better. I can’t wait to see my parents again, and it might be nice to be able to go out and not felt like a complete outcast.” I look over at her with a smirk on my face, and she once again seems to force a smile as she looks back.

“Sure thing. Tomorrow, around noon. That is when I’m going to need to have you over here. I’m going to need you to go with me to the speech, obviously, so they can see you for themselves.” Twilight then looks at Spike for a second before looking back at me. “You don’t have to head out yet, though. You don’t even have to leave tonight if you don’t want. Spike seems to like you, and I can set up a bed for you to sleep on like I did before.”

I shake my head. “I have a couple of things I need to do ever at Cloudkicker’s.” I then look over to Spike. “Until tomorrow, little guy?”

He looks a little disappointed, but there’s very little I can do. “Yeah. Just don’t let anypony give you any trouble. And just think, everything should change after tomorrow.”

Everything should change, and hopefully for the better. Wait, there is something that I meant to ask them. Well, less them and more just Twilight. "I was wondering if I might get a copy of some of the information that was taken during those tests. " She gives me a confused look. "I never bothered to give myself a full physical, didn't have the machines you do anyway. The whole no lungs thing sounds..."

"Unbelievable, I know. I had to check to make sure the machine didn't make a mistake." Twilight looks up, as if she's thinking, then she smiles and looks back at me. "I don't think that'll be much of a problem. I'll make a second copy tomorrow evening, and I'll send Spike over to Cloudkicker's with them. I have to get this speech done first, though.

That sounds reasonable enough, not that I really have much choice in the matter.

“Goodnight you two.”

With that, I open the door and start walking for Cloudkicker’s house. I want to write down some of my own notes, let Cloudkicker know how everything went, and then head to bed. It is starting to get dark, after all. I don’t even know how so much time passed. It feels like it was morning just a little bit ago.

~

When I get back to the house, Cloudkicker isn’t there.

Terrific.

There is one piece of good news, though. It seems like she had managed to get a bigger bed for me, which means that I don’t have to curl up as much. I look at the bed, then over to my notebook, and then to the pen. There isn’t a lot for me to put, and at least one correction.

Normal Ponies is one of the things I change.

Earth Ponies

-Physically strong

There is another change I have to make.

Twilight Sparkle

- Element of Magic

- Likes to be called Duchess

- Student of Celestia

- Probably a unicorn

- Likes experiments

- Hates being watched

Twilight Sparkle

- Element of Magic

- Student of Celestia

- Unicorn, maybe the most powerful

- Likes experiments

- Hates being watched

That seems like enough change to hers.

Celestia

-Princess

-Biggest of them all

-Possibly leader of the country’s religion

-Flowing hair, multi colored

-White

Luna

-Possibly leader of night-time things

-Probably has horns and wings

-Unknown if her hair is like Celestia’s

The more I look at these, the more I realize just how wrong I had been. I really have no idea how I had thought any of that was true. I know better now, though, so that’s a big improvement.

Celestia

-Princess

-Alicorn

-Supposedly raises the sun

-Flowing hair, multi colored

-White

Luna

-Supposedly raises the moon and dreamwalks

-Alicorn

-Dark flowing hair

-Midnight Blue

-Formerly evil, reformed with the Elements of Harmony

-Was supposedly in the moon for a thousand years

I also have to change Cadance to being Alicorn as well, though that word still seems weird to me.

Spike

-Dragon

-Nice

-Rough time growing up, rude nobility

-A true friend

-Purple with a green belly and green spines on his back, tail, and head

Those corrections and that addition seem like enough for now. Maybe I will end up writing more tomorrow before I end up heading Oberg to Twilight’s. More changes need to be made, and more additions likely need to be made as well. Right now, though, I plan on getting some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be the day when everything changes.

Chapter 9

As soon as I wake up, I glance over at the notebook.

I really don’t think I’m going to mess with the notebook for a while, at least not until the end of the day. All of the information is in my head, yeah, but it doesn’t matter if things don’t go a certain way to make sure that it actually matters if the knowledge is up to date and accurate. If I end up going back at the end of the day, or choosing to head forward, then any knowledge that I have about these ponies is going to be completely and totally worthless.

With a stretch and a yawn, I stand up. I really like this new bed, it is way better than the last one. I thought the last bed was alright, I generally end up curling up anyway, but the choice of lying flat on this bed was actually pretty good. My back feels really good right now, maybe lying flat on your back is actually a good idea. I would do research on the matter, and maybe I will later, but for now I need to just start going through my day.

What is the first item on the menu?

I look at the time, and I see that it’s a little after nine thirty in the morning. Maybe it’s the bed, maybe that’s why I ended up sleeping twelve hours. I need to eat, then make sure I get over to Twilight’s before noon. Beyond that, I can’t really think of a lot that I need to do.  One final stretch before I go out into the day, and a deep breath to get some nice oxygen to my brain.

Then I shake my head, a wave of stench hits me.

I realize I haven’t taken a bath the entire time I’ve been here.

There are a lot of things that people need to do. We need to go to the bathroom, which I have quite a few times. We need to sleep, which I have done every night. We need to eat, which is checked off whenever I get hungry. Every once in a while, maybe every day if we feel the need, we need to wash he dirt off us. Maybe I should have done this already, considering the fact that I’ve been running around without any clothes to keep the dirt off of me.

Bath, then eat, then wait for around noon to head over to Twilight’s

~

Now I feel better.

I’m heading for Twilight’s after a somewhat nice meal. I may not be a fan of hay bacon, but I am a big fan of eggs. Apparently, all I had needed to do was ask. If everything goes poorly, I might just end up missing Cloudkicker. She is proving to be a good friend, even if she does seem to know how to make every conversation uncomfortable.  That just seems to be the way that she is, though, something I would have to get used to.

Maybe, could be, possibly.

Either way, I’m at Twilight’s house-library now. A knock on the door, and soon enough I see my purple little friend. I smile down at him, he smiles up at me, and he motions for me to come inside. “Today’s the big day.” I don’t know if I’m saying this for his benefit or for mine. I know that I’m a little nervous, given what is on the line here. I have to wonder what he’s thinking right now.

“Whatever happens, it’s been awesome.”

I don’t know if awesome is the way I’d put it. “Only when I came around here. You’re the coolest dragon I’ve ever met.”

“How many other dragons have you really met before?” He looks at me, a confused look on his face. I simply pat him on the head, which he doesn’t like, as I chuckle.

“None, but that’s not the point.”

About this time, Twilight comes out with a stack of papers. I don’t know if that’s the speech or the report, but soon enough she hands about three fifths of the papers over to Spike. “After you send those to the Princess, we can all head out to give that speech.” I look at her, wondering if I’m going to have to say anything.

“Well, I’m giving the speech, you’re going to-“

The door opens, and suddenly I hear a scream.

As soon as I can, I turn to see a white pony with purple hair. It seems to be fairly fancy looking, at least in my opinion. If my eyes aren’t deceiving me, there is also some makeup on her face. “Get away from her, you ruffian!” I don’t know how she does it, but she actually jumps at me with her hoof out. I learn, right then and there, that ponies can do jump kicks. Another thing I learn comes a few seconds later, when she is held in the air by the magical aura of a Twilight Sparkle.

She really is as powerful as Spike had said.

“Rarity. I expected better of you.” Twilight doesn’t look happy as she sits the white pony down. This is the Rarity that I remember hearing about before. Element of Generosity doesn’t mean that she’s just going to trust everyone, I guess. “You don’t seem like the type that starts fights at all. And Roger here hasn’t done anything to deserve such behavior.” I honestly don’t know what to say about any of this. As far as I know, Twilight and Rarity are best friends.

Twilight is taking up for me against her best friend.

I think my brain is breaking.

Rarity looks down, as I she realizes that the thing she just did was wrong. “My apologies Twilight. I just thought that you might be in danger.” I hear no apology for me, but that seems fairly par for the course. I get assaulted, nothing. I nearly get assaulted, and the pony apologizes to some other pony. “Forgive me?” For a second, I think that she might look up at me. That is the only thing that makes sense of all of this. I’m wrong, though, and she’s looking at Twilight.

Then they hug.

“It’s alright, Rarity.” I want to say that it isn’t, I’m the one that would have gotten kicked, but I decide that it isn’t worth it. “I know you were just looking out for me, like a good friend would.” That makes sense, but I’m still waiting for my apology over here. “I probably should have told you that I have Roger over, and told you about him. That way, you’d know. You just reacted like a good friend.” Friend, friend, friend, and it’s all okay because they’re friends. I decide to look over to Spike, to see if he might know what I’m going through, but he’s busy staring at Rarity with the most adorable expression on his face.

It should be illegal to be that adorable.

I look back to Rarity, who is no longer hugging Twilight. Instead, and something that makes me wish she might have kept hugging Twilight, she is about six inches away from me and glaring. I really don’t know what it is that I might have done wrong, but this seems to be a trend. I decide to just ignore it for now. After all, this might be the last time I have to deal with it. “Well, Twilight Sparkle, I think it’s about time that we head out. We wouldn’t want to be late for the-“

It’s almost as if the word late is enough, and soon enough we’re all enveloped in the light that comes before she teleports all of us somewhere else. Logic tells me that we’re at … I don’t know where it is we’re supposed to be. I don’t remember Twilight telling me at all, all I know is that she’s supposed to be giving some sort of speech that will either help me out or make things worse. At least Rarity isn’t here, though. She doesn’t seem to like me much, and I really don’t like her.

Nope, I’m wrong.

Even Rarity is here.

When I look to my right, I see some sort of big building. If I have to guess, which I likely will because not a single pony will likely tell me, every single pony is supposed to meet in front of whatever type of government building there is. I then turn to see if there is any of the ponies that I know. I see Cloudkicker near the front, next to a row of ponies that I mostly don’t know. I think the pink one is Pinkie Pie.

There is also a yellow one with pink hair, orange with yellow hair, and blue with hair from all colors of the rainbow. There are a lot of other ones nearby, too many to go through describing, but there are two more that I actually know when I see them. One of them is the pony known as Lyra. At least that’s what I remember her name being. Next to her is the horrible menace, Bon-Bon. I hide behind the nearest pony, which probably seems weird when our sizes are compared. It might also seem weird because I’m hiding behind Rarity.

Now she’s just looking back at me with a confused look on her face. I really don’t know what else to say beyond the most simple answer. “That candy maker is the most violent pony I have ever seen.” That likely isn’t enough for her to go on, but I can’t think of much else. “Please stop her from coming over here.” As soon as I say it, a smirk appears on her face. I get the feeling that maybe I shouldn’t have told her, it might end very badly for me.

Then Twilight clears her throat. Everypony looks up at her.

Crisis averted.

“Attention everypony, attention.” That reminds me, I should probably make sure that I use those words when I speak to these ponies. If I stay here, they probably won’t like it if I shove my own words at them. They probably really like their own words. “I assume that over the past couple of days, you’ve seen something that you’ve never seen before, something that might seem scary. It is bigger than we are, and seems like it might be stronger. It is different than we are, in just about every way imaginable.” I have to wonder if she is trying to get them on my side, or maybe if she’s trying to incite a riot. From what expressions I can see, the riot might be more likely.

“But that is all appearance. I have spoken with him, figured out what he wants, ran some tests.” That is completely true, she does know what it is that I want. I don’t know if the tests that she ran are things relating to whether or not I’m a threat, though. Some things don’t need to be said. “He just wants somewhere to live, in peace, with his family.”

“So you mean there are more of those things?”

“How can we trust that thing? I hear it eats meat.”

At the mention of meat, Pinkie Pie turns to me with a shocked expression on her face. I don’t know if I like this. “You mean he kills living creatures and eats them?” The Pegasus beside her, the yellow one, ends up moving closer to her friend. If I can get anything from her expression, it’s that she’s shocked to hear it as well. Neither of them seem particularly afraid of me, though, which is at least something good.

Twilight doesn’t look happy. She points her hoof out toward Fluttershy. “Could you come up here for a moment, Fluttershy?” At least I now know a name for one more pony. Fluttershy looks around for a few moments, then slowly comes on stage. “I promise this won’t take long, and it has to do with your animal friends.” Those words alone seem to help out, and she seems to get at least a couple inches taller out of nowhere.

“Oh, okay Twilight.”

“Would you say your otters are a threat to Ponyville?” I don’t know where she’s going with this. The obvious answer is no, and a shake of the head is the reply she gets from her friend. “How about that bear I saw at your cottage that one day?” Am I going to be compared to a few animals? There has to be a point, and it will probably make a lot of sense when I’m actually told it. Something tells me that I should know it, though a bear is a pretty big danger.

“Not really. He’s such a sweetie when you get to know him.”

Twilight is grinning, almost as if she just found the winning argument. “And what do otters and bears typically eat?”

I feel stupid right about now. Otters eat fish, and bears eat just about anything. They’re carnivores, just like I used to be, just like I potentially am. She just admitted that neither are threats, despite their meat eating habit. Maybe that’s why Fluttershy’s reaction wasn’t anything close to fear. “You should know, Twilight. Otters eat fish, and bears eat a variety if things. Berries, flowers, sometimes … meat.” Fluttershy looks out, almost as if she’s expecting something bad to happen. “But it is just in their nature, they don’t mean anything by it.”

“And I’m guessing that neither does the human named Roger.” With that, she points one of her hooves at me. That is true, I never actually meant any harm when I did eat meat. It just tastes so good, I sometimes can’t help myself. That is another thing that I don’t plan on saying, though, if I stay here. “And that is what he is, a human. And his name is Roger.”

I don’t know which it is, the name or the species, but almost every single pony panics. I can barely make out what they’re saying, something about the fact that humans are a grave threat. Some of them seem to be saying something about how humans are a myth. Some of them just seem to be panicking because their best friends are. Herd mentality does that to the best of us, and these most certainly aren’t anywhere near the best.

This definitely isn’t something that makes me want to stay.

It certainly doesn’t look like this is making Twilight happy either. Her expression, alone, is enough to convey that she just wants everybody to quiet down and listen. As time goes on, though, it becomes obvious that she has no clue how to deal with this. A captive audience is always easier to deal with than an audience that is in full panic mode. It is almost good that she has friends, there, because soon enough the remaining two whose names I don't know.

“Quiet down, ya’ll. Twi wouldn’t bring a threat here to Ponyville. She’s the one that saved us from Nightmare Moon, remember?” If any of these ponies seem ready for talking to a crowd, it’s this one with the hat. The blue one, the pegasus, seems capable of doing little more than standing with her friends. Maybe there’s something else, but I have no clue. Or maybe she jut knows that cowboy hat over there is better at talking.

It seems to be having some effect.

“Besides, he said he just wants ta be left alone. Ain’t gonna be much of a threat if he just wants ta be left alone. And it ain’t like he can do anything anyway.” She turns to me, then she turns back to the crowd. “Ah bet he’s even more scared of us than we are of him.” That is completely not true, at least that’s what I want to say. I am about to say that, when I notice that Bon-Bon is looking right at me. I try to shrink down, but I can’t.

“Too true.” Rarity speaks up. “Why, he was just cowering over here at the sight of Bon-Bon. I don’t know why, but he said something about her being the most violent pony he had ever seen.” Her hoof pointed at Bon-Bon. “She, the Candy Maker, is enough to make him cower behind me.” This is not my proudest, or strongest, moment. It might actually be one of my weakest. I probably should not have actually given her that ammo. That is just making the ponies laugh.

At this point, I just tune it out. I just stand there, watching the expressions on the ponies out there as Twilight and her friends continue to talk. Each of them probably have the greatest points known to pony kind. Their points would probably be good enough for some sort of debate team. The only thing I see, though, is the curious distrust of dozens of ponies. It feels really weird being the outsider, being the one that is the different one. Even after the days, almost a week, that I’ve been here it feels so weird. I don’t know how Spike does it.

Expressions change from distrust to neutral over time, though I think it has been hours from the start of this fiasco. I look up for a moment, it is definitely past four. I turn back to the ponies, just in time to see that the crowd is actually bigger than before. I don’t know what to say about that, I had thought that all of the ponies were already there. All of them are just standing there, watching me. Twilight then clears her throat, and points to me.

“Nice to see you join us, Roger. I was just telling them about exactly why you came here. Maybe you could give more detail.”

That doesn’t sound so bad. “Well, where I come from I’m one of the only ones of my kind. Something … something terrible happened to the rest.”

“I bet they ate each other.” One of the ponies yelled out.

“No, I can promise you that is isn’t that. It just isn’t something I like to talk about. It happened long before I was born anyway.” That is something that keeps me from having to think about it. I only know it from the history book, but that it enough. “Since it’s just my parents and myself, we … well, I decided to come here to find a new place to live. I didn’t even know where I was going to show up.” Once again, Twilight looks rather sad at my story. It isn’t so bad, aside from the boredom and assault.

“I realized that being alone means a lot of bad things. Imagine if one of us got hurt. None of us are doctors, so it’s not like we can do anything about it. I had to do something, so I did. And here I am.” Of course, there is no real promise that they’ll do anything to help me. This place is just as bad as back home, aside from the fact that there is much less chance for me to get assaulted back at my house. And I have my family there, not that I won’t have them here.

I walk over to Twilight.

“I’ll head back. If you could come get me when everything is done, that’d be great.” I will have my family here, and her speech might just make the difference. I know it seems weird, but there is just something about this place that makes me want to stay. Everything is so colorful, and there are a few ponies that make it worthwhile. I can always stay around Spike, he seems nice enough.

“Sure thing.” I see her motion for Applejack to come closer, and she whispers something in her ear. The only word I can make out is escort. The rest of it comes to my mind as soon as I hear that. Either she is telling Applejack, the orange pony with the hat, to be my escort or an escort. I’m guessing she doesn’t know what to think about the way that the ponies had been acting before. Applejack looks at me, a worried look in her eye, and then back at Twilight.

“Okay, Twi, fer you.”

Soon enough, she is walking in front of me. The crowd parts in front of her, almost as if she’s some sort of leader. A couple of times, I almost trip over a hoof that just happens to be in front of me. Maybe it’s just my luck. Applejack doesn’t seem to want to slow down much, this seems to just be something that she’s doing for her friend. I don’t even think she’s going to talk to me.

When we get out of earshot of the ponies, though, I turn out to be wrong.

“Ah reckon that you did somethin to Twi back there, to get her to like you. But Ah know better. Ah also know that you ain’t really scared of Bon-Bon. Ain’t nopony gonna be scared of a candy maker.” I decide to keep my mouth shut. “If Twi says we should give ya a chance, though, then Ah will. But that don’t mean that Ah ain’t watchin ya.” I have no problem with that, it seems like being watched is something that just happens. “And if Ah see something that Ah don’t like, Ah’m gonna kick you out faster than you can say Applejack.”

That doesn’t sound reasonable.

“We clear, partner?”

“Crystal.”

I might have been wrong when I decided earlier. I still have a decision to make.

“So, where we headin’?”

“Cloudkicker’s.”

The less conversation we make, the better off I’ll be. I would rather not have to put up with this angry pony any longer than I have to.

~

When I’m back in my room, looking at my bed and my journal I decide to lay it all out on paper. I just have to come up with the advantages and disadvantages of my two options. One of them has to have more than the other. I walk over, grab the pen, and open up to the last page. I know it won’t take much, maybe the front and back at worst. I do tend to take short notes notes most of the time, no full sentences.

Never a need for them if I know what I’m trying to say.

Advantages of staying in Equestria and Ponyville

-The threat I know is better than the threat I don’t

-Spike, Cloudkicker, Lyra, and maybe a few others are genuinely nice.

-I have a nice bed

-I know how things work now

-The hay is starting to grow on me

-There are people here, or at least ponies.

-Food is more abundant

Most of this feel like filler reasons. I don’t know why, but there is just something unexplainable about this place that makes me want to like it. Then there are the ponies that make me want to run away as quickly as possible. Well, no, there are just most of the ponies that make me want to run away as quickly as possible.


Advantages of leaving

-I can trust my family

-Can’t trust 90% of the ponies

-Most of the ponies dislike and seem to have a problem with anything different

-No promise that they’ll help us, aside from a few

-I cannot state how much these ponies scare me.

In the end, it doesn’t matter that one has more than the other. I quickly realize that my lack of ability to trust these ponies, and my fear of them, is the thing that I have to think about. Even if everything else is perfect, I have to think about my parents. That is part of my reason for being here anyway. I just have to put my remaining clothes back on, get the thing ready, and leave before anybody can try to convince me otherwise.

When I look up, I see Cloudkicker just standing there.

“How did it go?”

“I’m afraid to say that this is going to be the last time that we’re going to see each other.” That probably sounds worse than it actually is. “Twilight did everything she could, but even her friends aren’t on board with the idea.” She doesn’t seem happy at the thought, so I simply walk over to her and look down as I run my hand through her hair.

“I made you a deal, though. There won’t be any other time, so …” I really still don’t know if this is the best idea, but I did tell her that. Even if this turns out to be a horrible idea, I definitely am not the type to just say I’m going to do something.

That seems to put Cloudkicker in a better mood. I’m glad to know that at least one of us is going to get something out of this.

~

My first time was taken by a pony, one that I will never see again.

Strangely enough, I really don’t know what to think of that. I hadn’t known what to think of that whole affair, but it happened. I have to say, I’m starting to understand why she might like that whole banging thing so much. If I had decided to stay … no time for maybes. I’m going to go back, maybe try some time that is further along or closer to our time. I might actually decide to just stay where I am. Maybe I can come up with a way to get food easier.

I look at the empty bed, kind of glad that she is back in hers, and then put my clothes back on. Strangely enough, they feel kind of weird after the last few days of nudity.  

It doesn’t matter.

I push the buttons, setting it back two hundred million years. It is near where I had started, back where everything makes more sense. A push of a few more buttons, and it starts to power up. There is a strange whirring sound, then a hissing sound. I don’t know if this is what’s supposed to happen, but I decide to just wing it. I think it might have made weird sounds before. The hissing becomes a buzzing, which soon becomes entirely too high pitched.

This is the sound before it blew up that one time.

I move to try to unstrap it, but I’m too late. Well, not too late to stop an explosion. That doesn’t happen. The thing that does happen, though, is that it shorts out. That might seem like a good thing, and it does at first as I look up to see an annoyed Cloudkicker standing there. A few seconds later, however, it finally finishes making the high pitched sound.

Then it crackles, and I feel a sharp pain for a few seconds. The feeling of electrocution is not a new one, but boy is this one worse than ever before. It only lasts a few seconds, of course, because it only takes a couple of seconds before I pass out from it. I’m kind of glad that’s how it goes, though, because I really don’t want to go through much of it.

Maybe this is what happens before I go back. Maybe this is just an unknown, a painful unknown. Either way, I can only hope that I’m back where I belong.

Chapter 10

I don’t know how much time has passed, but I slowly open one of my eyes. If I’m still in Equestria the best thing that I can do is pretend to be dead. I know that Cloudkicker would be worried if I was back at Equestria, given the whole electrocution thing, but that turns out to be a problem that I do not have to deal with. I can tell from the sights around me, the look of the land, that I’m no longer in Equestria.

This looks like the Earth I know and like.

Part of me thinks back to Cloudkicker for a second, I have to wonder what she’s thinking right now. Well, not right now. She knows where I decided to go. I wonder what sort of marks might have been left there when I left. I don’t see anything on this side, but I chose a field to try to transport from. I have to wonder what it might be like for it to be done in a house.

No, no, this is my victory. This is what happens when I get what I want. This is me, back with my family, on an Earth that is almost devoid of life. That isn’t the best way to think about it, aside from the family part. That’s the good part.

Also, my right shoulder hurts.

It might be an effect from the device. While I’m on that topic, I might as well take it to the workshop to see what happened. I don’t remember it ever electrocuting me, and the only time when I remember that sound being made it ended with me needing to throw it off before it exploded. Today is just a day of firsts, at least for me it is a day of firsts. This is the first time that I got electrocuted by the time travel device, the first time I’ve been ran out of town by a pony, and the first time I ever had sex.

I look down at my wrist, which is actually not as singed as I would have thought, and notice that there is something missing. There is no device on my wrist. The only upside is that I have everything written down about the device in my lab. I just have to head in there, look at it, and spend some time trying to figure out what it is that might have gone wrong. I have to think about the many things that could be different between going forward and going backward.

At least my clothes are still on, that’s something great.

It takes a grand five minutes for me to head over to my lab. That isn’t really enough time for me to come up with many theories. In all honesty, I don’t even know if the problem is in the device. For all I know, it could be something that is not reproducible, it could be something that happened because of a variable that is only found in Equestria. It could be the sweat, I had been fairly sweaty after the activities that had happened that night.

Or it could just be something that happened when you go back.

When I finally get into my lab, I notice that everything is perfectly clean. There isn’t a single piece of paper on the desk, any of the desks. There aren’t any pieces of equipment around, likely having been put in a storage shed. All I have to do is go to the desks, open them up, and find the paperwork. That makes perfect sense, I walk up to the nearest desk and open up the top drawer.

Nothing is there.

No problem, there are more drawers and more than one desk. That is what starts the next step of my day, and that’s finding the pieces of paper in the desk. By the time that I get done, though, there is something that I would settle on rather than finding the specific piece of paper that I’m trying to find. I would be happy finding any piece of paper.

A lab shouldn’t be completely empty, yet mine is.

Okay, this isn’t a time to panic. I just have to remember where it is that I might have put it. For all I know, enough time has passed that they threw it all away. That might be a worst case scenario, but I still have to think about it. If that’s the case, I’m going to have to try to remember everything that I have done over the course of the last ten years. I’ll have to remember the formulas, I’ll have to remember where I went wrong and right, and I’ll have to put another one together.

Of course, all of that only happens if my parents have no idea where my notes are.

The house is a scant hundred yards away, barely far enough for most tests that might go awry in my lab, but I hadn’t been thinking when I built it.

Just like the empty lab, there is an empty house.

The house is two stories tall. I check each of the bedrooms, just in case, along with every other room of the house. Either they’re playing the most intricate game of Hide and Seek, or something has gone terribly wrong. I keep looking around, just to end up in a room that had been my dad’s study. He would come here when there was something that he really had to think about.

There I see it.

There’s a giant map of the nearby area, and a lot of places marked out. I don’t really know what to make of this, so I head over to see if there’s any indication of what it might be. I still don’t see much, but most of the places around us seem to have been marked off. There are the occasional notes, usually something along the lines of ‘not here’. That doesn’t make any sense at all, so I decide to keep looking around to see if I can find anything that gives me a hint about what all of this might be.

I can only hope that they were looking for some new place to stay. Even if I’m left behind, at least they’ll be happy. I look around, the only thing that catches my eye is an aluminum laptop.

The laptop is sitting on the desk, it might tell me about what it really is. All I have to do is open it, put in the password, and then maybe read some of his notes. My dad’s life is fairly organized, enough to where he keeps notes on just about everything that he cares about. I just have to remember which password is his and which is my mom’s. Both of them are similar, but different enough. ‘Bio Son’ is the first guess, which turns out to be the right one.

Immediately, I’m met with his journal.

December 28

It has been an entire year since Roger disappeared. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why it happened. I just know that it did. The last thing that he told us, on his birthday, was that he had a great surprise for us. I wonder what he had thought about before … whatever it was that took him away from us.

I’m looking, I keep looking. I know that she would want me to keep looking, to find him even if she isn’t around to say how much she loves him.

By now, tears are starting to stream down my face. I have to know what happened, though. A wipe of my sleeve, and a couple minutes waiting, and I’m able to continue.

I have narrowed it down to a few places. It can’t be anywhere nearby, so it might take a few days until I’m able to get back here. I’ll probably leave this here. I’d rather risk anything happening to it. This might be the only thing I have left if I can’t find Roger.

At least I’ll have my memories.

What happened?

From what I can gather, it has been an entire year since I left. I thought I left some sort of note, but apparently something happened. Then the search started. At some point, mom … I don’t want to think about that right now. Dad likely didn’t want to think about it either. He continued to search, though. Maybe he’s still looking for me. I look at the time on the computer, and the date, and realize that it is January 23.

Apparently it has been a while since he was here.

Did he … no, I don’t want to think of that one either.

I have to, though.

There is a very good chance that I’m here, all alone. That means a lot of things. I don’t have anybody to help take care of me, nobody to laugh with or talk with. I don’t know if this is better than where I had just come from, really. I just have to find the notes, I can get to a new time. All I have to do is find those notes, build a new device, and choose a time between now and the time that I had chosen the last time I made the device.

~

Agggh!

I can’t believe it.

The house is practically empty. There’s furniture, there are the things in the study, there’s some rotten food, and that’s pretty much it. It’s like my notes just disappeared off the face of the Earth. I slam my fist down on the table, not knowing what it is that I should really be doing. I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to put the notes together from my memory. It wasn’t that easy to come up with them the first time, some of it came from the fact that I had something to look at.

Another punch to the table later, I start to calm down.

I have to focus.

I have to make that device. Maybe if I do that, I won’t have to go forward. If I go back another year or two, stop myself from making the mistake in the first place, then everything will end up fine. First, though, I have to think about anything that is attached to the project. I have to remember how I came up with it in the first place. All I need to do is focus, think, and come up with anything that helped me to time travel in the first place.

Nothing is coming to mind, though. It is almost as if every single piece of knowledge about the device was expunged from my head.

Now that’s a word that barely gets used, expunged.

I tap my forehead a few times, rather hard taps actually, as if that’s the thing that will fix everything. It doesn’t, tapping a forehead doesn’t impart wisdom. Neither does hitting a head against a desk, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it out of frustration. There has to be something that I can do, some way of figuring out something that might help me to get another working device. At this point, I can’t exactly spend the next ten years working on it.

I don’t know how I would even survive for ten years, not even a single year if it really comes down to it. I can’t hunt, I can’t grow food. I can’t fish. There are a lot of skills that I should have by now, but the fact that I’ve been focused on this one device has kind of stopped that from happening. Before that, everything w’s about reading random books. I know a lot of things, I know how to theoretically hunt or fish or find the right mushrooms, but theory is just that.

Practical use of information is not the same as having the information.

Maybe I will survive though. I know the theory, maybe I can out it to good use. Maybe I will just have to learn to do all of those things, then also make the device, then find a way to make it to where I find a way to get my parents back to life, and finally move everyone to some future. I have to do all of those, because missing any of them makes the others mean less. If I survive but don’t have a plan for the future, and going further into it, then I’m back to square one. That’s even if I’m able to prying my parents back.

If I don’t have my parents, I’ll probably be alone wherever I go.

If I don’t figure out a way to survive, then none of this will matter.

I have a lot of work on my plate. I have to focus, I have to get everything started. I have to find a way to do all of the things that I just laid out. Maybe I can clone my parents, but that’s another thing that will take a long time. Cloning is something that is simple enough, or at least it is a known possibility. I don’t have any of the notes here, but I know that it is possible. Of course, that doesn’t do anything for my survival or making another time travel device.

And now I can’t get Bon-Bon out of my head. For some reason, the memory of her kicking my face just appears in my head. I can also feel the pain, and it actually makes me fall off of my feet. I shake my head a couple of times, there has to be an easy way to get rid of this. I have to focus on the things that I can do something about, not the things u have no control over. That means I focus on cloning my parents, or at least figuring out the essential bits about that, then come up with a survival plan, and finally start working on the device.

This is too much work for one person.

First, though, I need to see what I have to work with. There should be some tools in the shed. I just have to go over to them, and then I can get to work on the first step. I think that means the cloning thing, but for some reason my head starts to hurt. Maybe I just need to calm down a little, maybe I’m stressing myself to the point where I won’t be able to do much of anything. Then again, this is the perfect time to be stressed because I’m alone in an uncaring world.

Alone is the worst.

~

Now I’m here, I’m in the shed. There are a lot of tools here, things that can help me out in the thing I’m trying to do. That’s why I’m here, right, to do something. But what am I here to do? I know that I knew it five minutes ago, but right now I’m drawing a blank. I look at the tube, the one that held me when I was still growing, and then around. Maybe I just came here to get some nostalgia. That doesn’t make much sense, but neither do a lot of things.

Now time to go in and see my parents.

No, that isn’t right. I just came from in there. It feels like my head is in a vice right now, I have to go somewhere else. There’s something about this room, this shed. It feels so constricting, like the walls are starting to move inward. I know that isn’t possible, walls don’t move unless they have some sort of motor. And these walls don’t have any sort of motor.

Reasoning it out in my head, though, doesn’t hello much.

I have to go into the open.

Soon enough I’m sitting on a hill. There is plenty of grass, contrary to what I’m used to, and the stars are beautiful tonight. Of course, this brings the question of what I’ve done all day, I know that I feel tired, worn out, kind of stretched. I feel like butter that has been spread out over too much bread. But what did I do today? Why can’t I remember anything? I shake my head again, this feels like something I’ve done a lot today, and then look at my hands.

“Something isn’t right here. What’s wrong with me?”

“Would thou likest us to tell thee?”

A new voice, this is great news. It doesn’t sound like any voice that I know. Maybe that is something that happened while I was gone. There is now a new person. I don’t know if I like the trade that I’ve made, but the least I can do is turn to face this new person. “If you know, then you’re welcome to te-“ I stop as I finally turn around to see what it is that I’m talking to.

Everything come back to me as I stare at a horse. She is midnight blue, with flowing hair of approximately the same color. Her head has a horn on it, and there are small wings on her sides. I recall the name Alicorn, which is what Twilight told me back then. I remember all of the pony things, the horrible things. I remember the few good things, I remember Cloudkicker and Spike.

I remember what I had seen upon my return.

Is this how it started? Maybe this is why my parents aren’t here. Maybe it is this Alicorn, whoever it is, that has caused this. I know that this Alicorn looks like … I don’t even remember. I frantically throw my hands up, and back away. “Please. Just leave me alone. I didn’t do anything to you. I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to be left alone…”

I rarely panic, but when I do it’s because I’m about to die.

It looks at me with a shocked expression. “We come here not to hurt you, but to help you.” I don’t know why it says we, but the first thought is that we’re not alone. There have to be others, and they’re all around doing their normal things. Maybe this one is the one that is here to see if I can out up any resistance. The others will show up and start eating me. That is the only thing that could have happened to my parents.

I have to get out of here.

I quickly turn away from her, which is likely not my smartest move, and start to run away. About five steps, and then I have to dodge around a large white Alicorn. This is another of these things that are obviously trying to kill me. The first obviously sent the message somehow, and now they’re going to try to eat me. I know I should probably be able to name these, they seem familiar, but my mind is focused on the idea of being able to get out of here alive. Everything else comes secondary to that.

Suddenly, I feel a stab through my chest. When I look down, I see a dark blue horn piercing through. It’s strange, so bizarre. I’m dying, yet there’s no blood. That isn’t the only thing, though, there’s another thought. I can’t help but think about is how Applejack is the winner here. She obviously didn’t want me back there, and then I left. Now I get stabbed by an Alicorn, so there’s no chance of me trying to return. Maybe I’m just being paranoid in these last few moments of life.

Everything is growing dark, and I cough up a little blood before my eyelids start to grow heavy. What do you know? There is at least a little blood before I pass away. That has been bugging for the last twenty or so seconds. It’s a real shame I don’t believe in an afterlife, being able to see my parents again would be amazing. It’d be easier to believe in that, but I think it’d be dishonest to believe it just for that reason.

Oh well, at least I don’t have to worry about being alive when the eat me.


~

Suddenly, my eyes open.

Well, I’m not dead. That’s good news. I really didn’t know what to think when that Alicorn had shoved her horn through my chest.

I sit up, slowly. My hand goes to my chest. It is rather unclothed, and it is lacking in the hole department. One of those is good news, the other is that I’m not wearing a shirt. I know that, somehow, somebody will be able to tell me how any of this makes sense. Next comes the feeling, one that I have had a lot during my time here. I have this feeling that I’m being watched. I turn to my left, and I see a whole gang of ponies. There is Cloudkicker, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Twilight, Spike, and Rarity. There are a few more that I don’t know, and quite frankly don’t want to get to know.

Bon-Bon is here, that is enough reason for me to want to leave quickly.

I jump up out of the bed, which is a surprise to me that I can actually do that, and start to sprint for the door. The pain is pretty bad, but I have to ignore it for now. I have to get out of here, to go anywhere else that isn’t here. There is one problem, one that soon enough hits. That problem actually only takes about three steps from the bed, when I double over. Apparently I can’t ignore the pain, at least not as much as I hoped I could. I still don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I feel rather faint. Next thing I know, red bile is spewed out of my mouth. Puking up blood definitely isn’t pleasant.

Once more, my vision fades. Maybe if I’m lucky, this has all been a bad dream. A dream within a dream, maybe, since I’m not exactly keen on the idea of having a horn shoved into my bad. If I have to choose between the two, being stuck in this place or having been skewered … I think I’ll have to give that choice some time before I make it. Both have their upsides, both have their downsides.

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