“What are you two doing?” asked Twilight.

“It’s an Iron Pony competition,” answered Rainbow Dash. She and Applejack were busy doing calisthenics to warm up.

Applejack said, “See, we've set up a bunch of events to decide which one of us is—”

“The most athletic pony ever!” Rainbow broke in.

Twilight nodded. “And I'm here too...?”

“I don't know,” said Rainbow. “Why is she here?

“To be our judge and keep score,” answered Applejack.

“Oh yeah, somepony's got to record my awesomeness for the history books.”

“And why am I here?” I asked.

“Because you wanted to come,” reminded Twilight.

“I regret it. Watching two sweaty fillies grunt and moan while they try to beat each other up is not my cup of tea. Now if they were human—”

“Hey,” said Spike. “There’s a crowd here to watch.” And so there was. It seemed like half of Ponyville had come to see who would be the Iron Pony.

“Hello and welcome to the first annual Iron Pony Competition!” said Spike, slipping into announcer mode. “Let the games begin!”

The event was set up as best-of-twenty. If there was betting available, I would have put five bits on Applejack. I decided to leave before the end of the competition, though. The hardware store wouldn’t be open all day.

Rusty Nail ran the place. I couldn’t say that I was encouraged by his name, but he seemed to have everything I needed.

“Buildin’ another one of them contraptions?” he asked.

“That’s right.”

“I got somethin’ here you might be interested in.” He pulled out a small generator. “This little baby here is what you need. Just drive it with a belt, and it’ll make electricity.”

“Shut up and take my money!”

I gleefully carried my purchases back to the library. The next robot was going to be awesome. Definitely more than 20% cooler than the last one. I grabbed my trusty hammer and got to work.

Later in the day, I heard that Rainbow won the Iron Pony competition by a score of fifteen to five. Too bad for Applejack. I would have liked to see the pegasus taken down a notch.

As the sun was going down, Twilight yelled at me to stop hammering on things so she could get some sleep.

“Why are you going to bed so early?”

“The Running of the Leaves hoofrace is tomorrow. Applejack challenged Rainbow to a rematch. Plus, I’m going to be running. Are you going?”

“I don’t know anything about running on four legs.”

“Well…I have some books you can borrow.”

“Sounds good.” I went inside the library and found the rulebook for the race, as well as a help book called Your First Race.

I scanned the rulebook. It was very thin, as there were only three rules: racers may only complete the race by using their hooves, racers must stick to the marked path, and racers must have fun.

I supposed that meant that Spike was disqualified, as he didn’t have hooves. It also made it very difficult for me to use some kind of mechanical advantage.

I decided to enter anyway. If nothing else, it would give me a chance to see Twilight in action so I wouldn’t be surprised by her speed when it came time to end her.

In the morning, Pinkie came by to borrow Twilight’s hot air balloon to call the race from. Spike managed to convince her to let him be the co-announcer.

Twilight and I trotted to the starting line. Applejack and Rainbow where there giving each other dirty looks. Both of them seemed a little surprised to see us.

“Twilight? What in tarnation are you doin' up here?”

“I'm racing,” Twilight answered.

Rainbow laughed. “Good one, Twilight. What about you Valiant?”

“No silly contraption to give you an advantage,” chuckled Applejack.

“If you ever insult my robots again, you’re going on my hit list,” I said.

Suddenly, the race started. Applejack and Rainbow ran way out front.

I cantered along with Twilight. “Shouldn’t we be going faster?” I asked.

“The rules didn’t say anything about winning, but they did tell us to have fun,” she said. “Did you read Your First Race? It advised to go at a comfortable speed.”

“Whatever.” We went along in silence for a while. Surprisingly, we caught back up to the two competing ponies. Applejack was in the dirt head over heels.

“Rainbow Dash just tripped me!” she hollered.

“She did not,” said Twilight, “and if you slowed down and looked where you're going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock.” I hadn’t seen that, as Applejack and Rainbow had been too far ahead when it happened.

Applejack muttered something and ran off towards the front of the pack. Soon after, we caught up to Rainbow in a similar situation.

“Applejack tripped me!”

“Don't you ponies ever look where you're going?” said Twilight, annoyed. “You tripped on a stump, see?” I hadn’t seen that, either. Maybe my eyes were going.

“Oh, I see. A big cheater is what I see,” said Rainbow.

“ Rainbow, Applejack would never cheat. It was an accident. Remember, this is just a game.”

“Yes, but the rules have changed, and two can play at that game!”

“Dun dun dun!” I said. Rainbow gave me a dirty look and sped up to catch Applejack.

We began passing a few exhausted racers. Apparently, Twilight’s pacing was paying off. She looked a little winded, but pushed on. Despite our progress, I didn’t think we were anywhere near the front. Also, we passed Applejack and Rainbow fighting in a pile on the ground.

The finish line came into view. I stepped up the pace a little. Twilight was panting now, and barely able to keep up with me. That made me slightly proud.

“Hey look, the hardware store’s open,” I said, leaving the racecourse. Twilight gave me a strange look, but shrugged and went on.

“Hey there Valiant,” said Rusty Nail as I came in. “Look at these beauties that just arrived.”

“Double area cylinders!” I said happily. “Twice the force, half the size. Nice.” We quickly worked out a deal, and I took them off his hooves.

I got to work integrating the new actuators into the design. In a small static test, they kicked hard enough for the machine to actually hop off the ground a few inches. I grinned. The pressure wasn’t even all the way up.

Twilight arrived back at the tree and asked what was so important that I left the race early. I explained that Mr. Nail had some cool new stuff.

“Valiant, I got fifth place. If you had stayed in, you would have easily beaten me.” She showed me a medal that she had won.

“Oh, uh, I do regret that now, I guess.” I had never won anything in my life, and it looked like I had just thrown away my chance.

“Oh, and Princess Celestia showed up earlier. She says that she loves the season of fall.”

My disappointment quickly turned into rage. “I missed her? Figures, she only shows up when I don’t have a weapon ready to go.” I kicked part of the robot.

“You know, I think you could be charged with treason for remarks like that.”

“That’s because this is a dictatorship where the concept of personal liberties is unheard of. And no, I’m not a traitor. I was never loyal to Equestria to begin with.”

“Who are you loyal to?”

“The United States of America. It’s not a perfect country, but at least you feel like a citizen, rather than a subject. Make no mistake about it, Celetia’s rule will eventually end. If you don’t come to democracy, democracy will come to you.”

“Uh, I’m going to go inside now,” she said.

“Freedom isn’t free!” I called after her.