ONE WAY TICKET TO EQUESTRIA

ANSWERS

EdgarDoesEverything

     We walked down the hallway. Goddamn was this long. It felt like I walked quarter of a marathon. I couldn't believe the amount of guards I saw. They were everywhere. I finally relaxed a bit and when we got to a room where the scientist and guards had their lunch. There was a large table in the center of the room, which had pointy edges in the end of the table, princess Celestia and Luna sat next to each other while the girl took their seats around them. The right side was all taken by the ponies to leave the human all by himself in the left.

     "Geez, I wonder where I'm going to sit." He said sarcastically. The princesses smiled while the girls let out a giggle or two.

     "We just want to study you!" Luna said rudely. Jason eyes widen and his mouth was a half smirk and half frown. Celestia nudged her sister for being so inconsiderate. She noticed this.

     "I mean, we want to see how you eat." She smiled. Jason gave her the same face and sat down in one of the cushions. He moved his tush a bit and got comfortable.

     "Soooo, what are we eating, I'm starving." Jason said. Just as that was said, two royal guards levitated several plates that were covered up by a bowl shaped covering, Jason was too hungry to noctie them flying through thin air. They were placed on top of the table, and the covers were removed, showing a wide variety of plants and vegetables. Jason let out a sigh.

     "Great, plants. Just what a growing boy needs." He looked down to see only a spoon. The princesses were closely watching him.

     "So you expect me to eat salad with a spoon?" He said.

     "Well what if you go and hurt someone with a fork or a knife?" Celestia said.

     "Good point, but come on, not even a fork?" The princess just smiled. Luna had her notepad out writing down every detail she saw of him, and Twilight was considering to do so as well. The girls began to eat while staring at the human, and he felt mighty uncomfortable. He played around with the salad with the spoon and tried to eat it, the salad always fell back into his plate. He put down the spoon and looked quite serious of flipping the table. He then looked down and picked it up with his fingers. The girls were amazed on how good he was with coordinating with his small hooves. After a while the gang got full while the human looked like he could eat more.

     "Would you like more, Jason?" Celestia asked.

     "Nahh, That's my fifth plate, I'm not so hungry at the moment." He said.

     "Well now that we are done eating, would you like to introduce your self?" Luna said. He was surprised when he was asked of this question.

     "Err... Well, why not?" He said, shrugging. He look to see everypony staring at him, even the guards had trouble staying at position of attention.

     "My name is Jason Endwood... and... yeah." He said with no emotion.

     "That's it?" Rainbow Dash asked.

     "Well, I don't know what to say! What do you want to know?" He wished he hadn't asked that because the mane six began blurting out questions, even Luna threw one in there.

     "HOLD ON! One at a time please!" He yelled, the girls moved their eyes down from his voice.

     "Is there more of you?" Twilight asked.

    "Well of course, I mean why would I be the last humanin existance, that's silly." He chuckled.

    "Do you know how many?" Luna continued.

     "I don't know, like.... Twenty four billion people." The girls' jaws dropped to the ground. The princesses were amazed as well.

     "Twenty four billion! My goodness that a lot of humans!" Luna said.

     "It must be cramped on your planet, or is it large?" Celestia ask with concerned.

     "Nahh, were I was born, Earth by the way, there's only five billion living there. The rest live on the moon and some on the other planets on our solar system." Jason said.

     "That must mean your species have developed a mode of space travel?" Luna asked.

     "Well, yes. Hasn't your species done so?"

     "Well, were still working on it, but we haven't found a way to produce enough power to lift the craft to space, Celestia and I can do it with ease, but we would have to continue using our magic through out the whole trip. We couldn't do that as we need to rule our kingdom and doing such would surely cause problems."

     "Wait, your kingdom?" Jason asked.

     "Mhm."

     "So you have a queen and king?"

     "No, Luna and I are the rulers of Equestria."

     "Soooo... Wait... What? So did the King and Queen died or something leaving you two to rule?"

    "No human, Luna and I are the rulers, is that not clear?" She said.

     "Oh... Okay.... So, both of you must have husbands, why aren't they here?" Celestia and Luna eyes open at the thought.

    "No, we..... Don't have husbands." Luna said looking uncomfortable.

    "You two are the weirdest princesses I ever known." He said smirking. The room quieted as the human stared off into space.

    "Ohh, sorry. Kinda blanked out their for a sec."

    "A sec? More like a minute!" Pinkie Pie said.

    "Really? Sorry I just..... Anyways what else do you need to know?" He asked.

     "Did your people eat ponies?" Rainbow asked. Jason paused and his face had no emotion.

     "I'm going to be straight with you, and hopefully you don't shoot me in the face or something. Yes-" Jason was cut off by the girls all gasping and getting out of their chair to get behind the princesses, the royal guard shifted there spears toward the human, uncomfortably close as they were close enough for one stab to his neck. Jason remained his original position and kept his same face.

     "So your species eat ponies?" Celestia said with an angered face.

     "Yes, but if you would have let me finish, it's a taboo in our culture, the only reason that most people would eat horse would be if they were starving. A small percent of people eat it because they like it. It is frowned upon in our culture unless it had to be done for our survival." Jason finished. The princesses look embarrassed for judging to quickly and gave the hoof motion for everything being okay. The guards backed away and went to their positions.

     "We're sorr-" Celestia was saying when she was cut off by Jason.

     "Don't be, I would have done the same if I found out that an alien from another galaxy ate humans."

     "But have you eaten pony before?" Luna asked.

     "No, I don't see why horses would be on the menu. It's just not right in human nature because we used to work along side horses in the old times."

     "They did? So they talk like us?" Fluttershy asked.

     "No, Unfortunately. We are the only species that naturally talk or have an language, they just horses. We used them on the home front to the battlefield." Jason said.

     "What do you mean, battlefield?" Rainbow Dash said.

     "You know, like guns, explosions, blood everywhere. You know the basic stuff." He said without recoiling a bit.

     "Your species kill each other?" Fluttershy asked sadly.

     "Well duh, don't yours?" The girls shook their heads.

     "Sooo, you ponies don't have any murderers? Rapist? Drug dealers?" Jason said with opened eyes.

     "No! Why would we have terrible things like that!?" Rarity said.

     "I wish I can say the same thing, people lose it, they go batshit insane. People get desperate and want to touch other people or get so angry they just murder them in cold blood." Jason paused.

     "Since the dawn of human kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing power of rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything: from God to justice to simple, psychotic rage." The room quieted as the ponies thought about people killing each other.

     "So your telling me that you ponies don't EVER kill someone for there horrific actions?"

     "Well-" Luna was caught off by Jason.

    "Just a minute ago your guards were ready to slice my throat in half!" He yelled.

     "Because we are not ravages!" Luna screamed. This caught Jason off guard... The room once again, quieted.

     "Sorry..." The Jason said.

     "It's alright, but you need to stop comparing us to your species, we are different so expect our ways to be different as well." Luna said.

     "Understood."

     "So everyone is evil in your world?" Pinkie Pie asked.

     "Only a small percentage is, the good outweighs it, but anything bad can happen to ruin your life, but don't worry, not all of us are fucked up killers." He said bluntly.

     "So did something happen to yo-" Applejack was cut off by Jason.

     "I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood for interrogation anymore." He said jokingly.

     "You have a weird sense of humor Jason." Celestia said.

     "Well, Knock Knock."

     "Who's there!?" Pinkie Pie said.

     "Talking."

     "Talking who?"

     "You're one crazy talking horse-" Jason began to laugh out loud then stopped when he saw that no pony was laughing.

     "What? It's funneh." He said giggling. The girls gave him a blank face.

     "Oh well, what now? Do I run around freely or get caged up like an animal for your experiments?" This surprised the princesses.

     "Do you think we're gonna do that?" Celestia asked.

    "Well yeah, were I live, If we found an alien or whatever, you wouldn't believe the horrors it would go through."

    "Well, no. But we do need to keep you in a room locked away from the public, who knows what would happen if our subjects found out, automatically they would think of you as a threat for your odd appearance."

     "You calling me ugly?" Jason said smiling.

     "No! Be serious, this not a joking matter. We need your full cooperation if we're going to make this work." Celestia said with sincerity. Jason sighed.

     "Alright.... But to be honest, I still don't trust you ponies... For all I know you could eat me in my sleep or stab me in the back." He said without emotion.

     "If we wanted to cause any harm to you, don't you think we would have done it by now?" Luna said.

     "You already did. You yelled at me, that hurt my feelings." The girls and the princesses laughed at the joke.

     "But yeah I guess that makes sense, so what now?" He ask being serious.

     "We'll see, but for now, we must keep you away from anypony else. We would like to ask more questions and learn about you more in the future, and maybe one day, we can let you run around freely or until you get back to your galaxy." Celestia lied in the end, she didn't know if they'd be able to get him back or not, she only said it so he could have some hope of returning.

    "Yeah, I get it. Thanks for the food." He said thankfully.

   "Shall we go to your room then?" Jason nodded and they left the lunchroom. They changed they route and continued walking through an other hallway. This time they went an elevator and reached Lv 26. They walk down an another hallway and turned to the left to be greeted by a corridor. Jason sighed and started to get bored of all the walking. He look down to see Rainbow Dash.

     "Wow, your mane and tail... Are very colorful." Jason began to move his hand close to Rainbow's mane when he saw her very uncomfortable. He jerked his hand back and look away.

    "Sorry." He said.

    "Uhh.. It's... Okay..." Rainbow Dash said, reluctantly.

    "So do you represent homosexuality ponies?" He said with curiousity. Rainbow's mouth opened and she blushed and bit Jason in the hand.

     "OW! What! Your a rainbow! What am I suppose to think?!"

     "I'M A RAINBOW BECAUSE I'M RAINBOW DASH!" She yelled angrily. The group stopped and looked at them. Applejack joined the conservation.

     "Rainbow Dash is not like those ponies!" She yelled.

     "Ohhhhh, sorry. So she's your girlfriend?" Once again he ask curiously.

     *BUCK*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason was in a bed with red hoofprints on his forehead. He open his eyes slowly, and the darkness fled from his vision. He saw everything blurry and the talking he heard was like it was coming from a microphone.

     "Did you really have to buck him in the face?" Twilight asked.

     "I'm sorry but that question was rude and impolite, somepony needed to teach him a lesson."

     "With a buck to the face! My darling, be at least more considerate, I think he meant it in a different way." Rarity said.

     "Oh he is waking up...." Fluttershy said slowly.

     "Urghhh where am I?" Jason said rubbing his forehead. He quickly open his eyes and had fear and anger in his face.

     "DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM! I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DO!" He raised his fist up in a threatening way until his vision fixed on the ponies, he calmed down and sat down back on the cot. He covered his face and started to sob. The ponies looked at him with worried.

     "What is the problem, Jason?" Luna said with sympathy. Jason wiped his eyes and look up to Luna.

     "Just..... Nothingnothingnothing, Just...... a dream..." He said sadly.

     "Jason, do you need a anti-depression?" Wadsworth said.

     "No... I'm fine, I've been through a rough week that's all." He said. The room quieted until Jason spoke.

     "Urghh what hit my head, all I remember is an orange hoof and that's all."

     "My buck hit you for being so rude! Don't be asking people that question mister!" Applejack scolded him.

     "Sorry mom, I was just curios that's all, didn't knew it was a sensitive subject here." Jason said. She snorted for being called mom.

     "So you do have parents!" Luna exclaimed.

     "Well yeah, how else would we exist?" He said.

     "OHHH! I just want to know everything about you! Please start in the beginning!" Luna requested. Jason looked at Celestia who had a smile in her face and winked to him, meaning 'go ahead, tell her'. He looked back at Luna who had a bright creepy smile.

     "O-okay... Well. You see, when mommy and daddy loves each other so much they touch each other in their-"

    "NOT THAT!" Luna screamed causing Jason to roar in laughter.

     "I'm sorry! I had to do it!" He said laughing when Luna turned to Celestia, who had a smirk on her face.

    "Maybe some other day, but right now, I really need new clothing." He turned to Rarity who smiled.

     "Well of course my dear! I'm just going to have to measure you!"

     "You do know what your doing though.... Right?"

    "Oh yes, she does. She is very talented in making dresses and clothing." Twilight said.

     "MHM! Sugercube, if you want clothing, she's your mare!" Applejack said.

     "Yeah! She's the best pony for that job!" Rainbow Dash added.

     "Well, okay! So you said measuring me?" Rarity took out a notepad and ruler from nowhere and began measuring his every bodypart.

     "Stand straight my dear!" He stood up and stood at attention just like he learned at JROTC. It wasn't necessary, but he didn't want to mess up her measurements. She finished and wrote down numbers. Still, items floated in mid air. He realized it and freaked out.

     "Wait! What the hell?!" He said looking at the floating items. Everypony was starled by this.

     "What is it Jason?" Celestia asked.

     "The things! They're floating!" He said, moving his hand close to the magic ruler. He touched it felt a weird sensation. He pulled it toward him and examined it. He dropped it to see if would float, and Celestia saw the perfect opportunity to scare him. She pick up the ruler with her magic and began to move it close to him in a threatening way. She smiled at the reaction when Jason tried to smack it out of the air and began to run around the room while the 'horrific' ruler chased him.

     "STOP! GO AWAY YOU POSSESSED RULER!" The girls were now roaring with laughter, and Wadsworth was virtually laughing as well. Jason, who wasn't having any fun at all kicked the side of the bed and took a hard fall.

     "ARGHH!" The girls stopped laughing and stood around Jason, worried.

    "Oh my goodness! I'm very sorry!" Celestia said with remorse.

     "Urghhh, I think I broke my arm!" He yelled.

     "Oh gosh! Let me see you poor thing!" Fluttershy asked, Jason then smiled and stuck out a finger gun towards Celestia.

     "Gotcha." He said smirking. Celestia was not pleased at all.

    "What is the matter with you! I thought you were hurt!" Jason laughed while Celestia began to give a small smile.

     "Ehhh? EHHH!?" Jason said retardedly, which made the girls laugh.

     "What are we going to do with you?" Celestia said smiling at him.

     "Well, for one thing, you can try not scaring the shit out of me with possessed items!" He said.

     "It wasn't possessed, It's magic!" Twilight said.

     "Enlighten me with this magic." Twilight picked up the ruler and waved it slowly in his face.

    "Ohhhhhhh." He said.

     "LIES! THERE MUST BE A SCIENTIFIC REASON FOR THIS!" Wadsworth yelled.

    "Calm down W, I'm as freaked out as you are. So, ummm... Celestia was it?"

     "Yes Jason?"

     "how does this magic woork-" he stopped and looked at the princesses' waving hair. He walked up to Celestia and she looked confused. He got close to her face and she became uncomfortable. She squinted her eyes while Jason got closer and closer until she could feel his breath on her snout. She closed her eyes and *eep'ed* when he plucked a hair from her mane, and she recoiled a bit. He played with it and the hair stopped waving. He tried to make it wave again but couldn't. He then slowly went to touch Luna's wavy hair. Luna didn't mind when he stuck his hand into her soft, silky hair. He stopped and look confused.

     "I'm done... Done, just done..." He said angrily. He sat on the bed and got comfortable.

     "This place is so twisted." The girls laughed.

     "I'm right behind you Sir!" Wadsworh said in a worried voice.

Next Chapter: Chapter 3 : Depression (Editing) Estimated time remaining: 28 Minutes