Mistress Do Well: Fractured Elements
by milesprower06

Renunciation

Crystal pony passers-by didn't know what to make of the pony clad in a gray cloak, standing directly beneath the castle, sitting several paces from the Crystal Heart. When they took a close enough look, they saw a cyan muzzle barely protruding from underneath the hood, but other than that, the garment did it's job of concealing the wearer's features; mane, tail, and all. But each pony's curiosity went as quickly as it came, and they went about their business, leaving the mysterious figure be.

Rainbow Dash stared sorrowfully at the glowing centerpiece of the Crystal Empire. Over the past year she had traveled all over Equestria, trying to find some way to move on with her life. Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, Seaddle...the fact that she had to come this far north proved that her efforts had so far been unsuccessful. Her lips trembled as she took in the facets of the stationary gem.

"It's not the easiest task, disappearing without a trace, slipping through a nationwide search for a single pony." a gentle voice said behind her. Dash turned to see Princess Cadance walking up to her, the tip of her horn glowing brightly. "I'm guessing that cloak plays an important part in it. I didn't realize it was you until I activated my spell."

Rainbow turned her focus back to the Crystal Heart as Cadance took a seat a few feet away from her.

"The Cloak of the New Moon. It's enchanted so that the wearer remains completely anonymous, except to the most powerful spells. But at 5,000 bits, I made sure to know exactly how it works. The minute you stop casting, or when I move out of range, you won't remember who you were talking to."

Cadance said nothing yet, trying to get a read on the Pegasus who had been the victim of a kidnapping by her closest friends, then disappeared with the only hard evidence against them. There was something in her voice...it almost didn't have any life in it.

"How's this Crystal Heart of yours supposed to work? I thought you were supposed to feel somepony else's love for you radiate from it."

"Yes, you are." the Princess of Love affirmed.

"I'm not feeling anything."

"Perhaps you're not going about it the right way."

"Or maybe nopony loves me anymore."

"You know that's not true."

Rainbow Dash turned to her, tears pricking her magenta eyes, shrouded by the hood.

"My so-called friends conspired to kidnap me and put me through three days of hell, until one of them regained enough of her sense to get me out. She apparently did it out of love, and on my way out of town, I flatly rejected her. I turned away the one pony who rescued me out of love, so don't you tell me what is and isn't true."

Cadance took in the pony before her. This wasn't the Rainbow Dash she remembered; who performed a Sonic Rainboom at her wedding, who helped restore this empire...she was broken, and in dire need of help, whether she knew it or not.

"Rainbow, if you need a place to stay, I can help you. Nopony needs to know you're here."

The pegasus took one last look at the Crystal Heart, and turned to leave.

"Rainbow..." Cadance said, stepping forward and placing a hoof on her shoulder.

The pegasus paused, turning to look at her for a moment, before shaking her head.

"No. You can't help me, and your magic can't help me. Your little jewel just proved it."

With that, she galloped away from the castle.

All of a sudden, Cadance couldn't fathom why she was casting an Illusion spell. As the glow around the tip of her horn faded, she tried to remember what she had been doing the last several minutes. She had just finished talking to a pony at the Crystal Heart. For the life of her she couldn't recall who...but they had looked so...defeated.

She wished she could have helped. Those eyes beneath the cloak, they looked like they had belonged to a pony who had given up.

Rainbow didn't stop running until she was a good two miles out of the Crystal Empire. She galloped into a dense forest, and finally came to a stop when she looked around and didn't see clearings anywhere.

She was sick of it. All of it. Running away had done nothing to help. She could barely talk to anyone, and after crying herself to sleep most nights, steady sleep never came because of the nightmares. She hadn't escaped from anything. The Empire's Crystal Heart was the final nail. Nopony wanted her or cared anymore. Her friends had completely destroyed her sanity, her dream, and any shot she had at a normal life ever again.

She found was she believed to be a suitable tree, and flung the enchanted cloak to the ground. Setting her saddlebags down next to it, and opened the left flap. As she began rummaging through the items, her hooves brushed against the videotape that she had taken on her way out of Ponyville a year ago. She had only taken it out of her bag once...

It was in Manehattan, just over two weeks after she had left Ponyville. She had run out of town to the west, but she quickly went north, then turned around to the west. It had taken her that long to travel, walking and hitching a chariot ride when she could, to get to Manehattan.

Something that had always amazed Rainbow was how she and her former friends weren't national celebrities, regardless of the feats they had accomplished. They had redeemed Princess Luna, fulfilling a millennium-old prophecy. They had defeated the God of Chaos himself, even managing to reform him nearly a year later. Tack on to that restoring the northern province of the Crystal Empire...and she was still looked at like an everyday pony.

Not that it bothered her anymore, especially then. Not when she wanted to keep a low profile. She came here because it was the closest large city that wasn't Canterlot. She wanted to see if she could lose herself in the crowd, shake off some of the loneliness that had begun to bother her.

Walking one of the countless market streets, she came across a storefront that caught her eye.

EAST COAST EARRINGS
CUSTOM JEWELRY
PIERCING SERVICES AVAILABLE

She checked the time, and saw that there was a good 90 minutes before they closed for the evening. Adjusting her saddlebags, she walked through the front door, and was immediately greeted by the owner.

"Hello! Welcome to East Coast Earrings, I'm Glimmer. How can I help you today?"

"Yeah, your window says you do custom work. How long does that take?"

"Depending on what you'd like done, anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours."

"I'd like an earring of my cutie mark."

This request prompted Glimmer to lean over and peer at Rainbow Dash's flank, studying her cutie mark.

"Looks easy enough. Have a seat over there, and I'll get to work."

Glimmer grabbed a sheet of paper, and did a quick sketch of Rainbow's cutie mark, then went to the back room. Some machinery was heard as she cut and shaped the earring, and 30 minutes later, she came back out to the main sales floor with a single, painted earring, custom made.

"Now it looks like your ears haven't been pierced, so I'd like to offer you my piercing services as well. My prices are very competitive with everypony else in this city."

"That's why I'm here."

"Excellent. Just have a seat right over there." Glimmer said, motioning to a reclining, adjustable chair. Rainbow did so, and Glimmer went to prepare a piercing gun. It only took a moment, and she returned to Dash and slowly reclined her chair.

"Now, since you're a first-timer, I have to warn you, it'll be a bit of a jolt, followed by some searing pain, but it will pass rather quickly."

Dash nodded, but as she moved the gun closer, she started to shiver, and the way Rainbow looked at the gun was enough to bring her pause.

"Miss, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Rainbow replied, her voice quivering.

"I think I'll go get an ice pack to numb it down a bit. That should help your anxiety."

"No."

"Hm?"

"Just do it."

"Are you sure?"

Dash nodded.

Against her judgement of making her new customers as comfortable as possible, Glimmer resumed positioning the gun. When it touched her ear, Rainbow gasped softly, and tensed up noticeably, to the point that she thought Rainbow would bolt up uncontrollably the instant the gun broke the skin. Again, this brought pause to Glimmer's job.

"Miss, are you sure-"

"Look, how much is it gonna cost? For the custom job and the piercing."

"Um...50 bits."

"I'll make it 100 if you stop worrying about me and just do it."

Glimmer wasn't sure how to react to Rainbow's forwardness. She had done hundreds upon hundreds of first-time piercings, and she had seen fillies, colts, mares, and stallions get jittery before. Being afraid of pain was one thing, but this...this was different. This mare was repressing something, or at least trying to. Glimmer could tell she was scared out of her mind, and was doing an impressive job of keeping it mostly hidden.

She figured that the best course of action was to have that barrel on Rainbow's ear for as little time as possible, and to provide as little warning as possible, so the mare's anxiety wouldn't build up further.

So with years of professional practice, Glimmer positioned both sides of the barrel on the tip of her left ear, and pulled the trigger without warning.

To Dash, the jolt was deafening. She let out a loud gasp, almost a scream, but stayed in her seat. Glimmer carefully dabbed the new piercing with a disinfectant-doused cotton ball, then gently slid her new custom cutie mark earring into place, while Rainbow's chest heaved.

"There we go." she announced, trying to keep her composure in check. Something was wrong with this mare, that much was certain. But it was none of her business. She was a paying customer, and if her offer was genuine, a customer whose money was no object. Rainbow silently got out of the chair and looked into the closest mirror. Seeming satisfied, she reached into her saddlebags before strapping them back on, and dropped two 50-bit pieces onto the counter, where Glimmer was waiting at the register.

"Thanks." Rainbow said, appearing to have calmed down.

"I'm not absent of empathy, miss. It seemed like you didn't want to do that, but you forced yourself to. Why?"

As Rainbow made her way to the exit, she simply answered.

"Just have to keep my best qualities at bay."

With that, East Coast Earrings was empty save for it's proprietor.

Every word of Dash's answer had been true. In the 14 days it had taken her to travel here, every single night, Twilight had been the focus of at least one dream. Every night, and she hated it. She had left her Element of Harmony on the balcony for a damned good reason, and she did not want her "finest quality" to undermine her self-imposed exile. So she needed something to remind her of what they did to her. Every time she looked into the mirror, it would be there.

It was a short trot to the closest hotel, where Rainbow bought a place to stay for the night, requesting a room with a projector. She gave the attendant at the front desk the bits, and she was given her key in return, and made her way down the hall to her assigned room. As she put the key in the door, she took a deep breath.

The earring was nothing. The hardest part of the night was about to begin.

She turned the handle and opened the door, stepping inside. It was a simple enough room; bathroom next to the front door, dresser, chairs, single bed, night stand. Next to the bed, pointed towards the left wall, was a standard projector, with a tape player plugged into the wall. Rainbow walked up to it and dropped her saddlebags, opening the left flap. Tucked safely in the corner, was the tape she took from Rarity's basement before skipping town. She began to shiver again.

She didn't want to do this. She was almost sure of what was on the tape...

But she had to know. She had to be absolutely certain of what she had in her possession.

She slowly removed the tape from the saddlebag, and put it into the player, starting up the projector. She sat on the bed as the screen came to life.

There she hung, hogtied on the wall, unconscious. For nearly five minutes, Rainbow stared in silence, nothing but the whirring of the player's reels from the playback. She fought back the first wave of nausea as the first sounds came from the tape.

"You've been a very naughty mare, Rainbow Dash."

With a sudden movement, Rainbow aggressively poked the fast-forward button, silencing the audio, and the playback sped up tenfold. She watched in silence, as the nausea in her grew. How much was on this? Surely they couldn't have put it all on one. But as she glanced over at the player, she noticed that the black tape within the cassette and only moved a bit. Twilight had had the foresight to enchant it, to make it much longer than normal.

She hit the FF button again, speeding the playback to 20 times normal. She sped past the first sessions, hanging on the ice block, and the cold shower, and pressed PLAY when she came to a certain point; where Fluttershy had come down to comfort her...and to convince her to let them do this...

Due to the speed of the playback, she was already near the end of that part.

"Dash...?" Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow's lips trembled as she watched herself nod on the screen.

She slammed her hoof down on the eject button, and she turned around and galloped to the bathroom, knocking over the vase on the dresser. She collapsed on the bathroom floor, barely getting her head into the toilet bowl, before vomit spewed out of her mouth, and she began to cry, tears falling to join the contents of her stomach in the toilet. After retching numerous times, Rainbow reached over to the shower faucet handle, turning it on. She barely even got it to room temperature before crawling inside the tub and curling up, crying softly, letting the water wash away her tears.

She hadn't played the tape since. It had remained in her saddlebag for the next 346 days.

Spreading her wings, she flew up to about 40 feet, before landing on one of the limbs, straddling it as she tucked her wings in.

As she threw the rope around her torso, tying her wings down to her midsection, she recalled how she had voluntarily spread her wings so her primaries could be clipped by Rarity's scissors. It had taken seven months for her primaries to grow back to support flying. She took the second rope, and tied one end to the limb, and then with some figuring, tied a noose, before putting it around her neck. She sighed, as her heart began to pound. Somepony would eventually find her out here. The search would finally be over, and her former friends would see the ultimate cost of what they did. Whatever awaited her at the other side had to be better than this. Swallowing her fears for the last time, she secured the noose around her neck, stood up on the limb...

...and jumped.

With the length she had given between the end tied to the limb and the noose around her neck, the free fall lasted not even two seconds. It came to an abrupt halt, but the end didn't come as suddenly as she wanted it. Having not tied the noose correctly, her neck did not break as the fall stopped, and now, as her throat was grasped painfully by the rope, she was going to strangle herself to death.

She instinctively tried to draw in a breath, but the rope denied it entry. She began to convulse and thrash, and barely managed to swing in midair. Her front hooves brushed uselessly against the taut rope choking her mercilessly, and her rear legs kicked, trying in vain to find footing. After 10 seconds, her lungs felt like they were on fire, demanding oxygen. As her eyes began to roll up into her skull, her ears registered a cracking sound, followed by splintering.

Her weight finally won, and her poor choice of tree limb snapped, and she fell through other limbs, branches, and twigs on her way down, landing on the forest floor with a thud.

Rainbow took one gasping, wheezing breath before breaking into a full sob. She just plain didn't care anymore. Didn't care if she was hurt, if anything was broken...she just wanted it all to end, and she couldn't even do that right. Crickets began chirping as night fell over the forest. Rainbow made no move to get up or remove the rope from her wings or neck. She simply let the pattern continue from the past year, letting the tears continue, as she fell asleep at the base of the tree.

At first, she thought it was the same, but it wasn't. One of the worst ways her mind had tortured her the past year was the dreams...and nightmares. Both were almost always the same. The nightmares were of her still being trapped in Rarity's basement, her friends continuing to torment her for their own sexual desires in the name of making her a better mare. The normal dreams were no better. They were heartbreaking; her friends before they had done this to her. Then it would end, and she would wake up alone.

She stood in a sea of never-ending blackness, and heard nothing but the distant, echoing sobs of a mare, instantly reminding her of the worst dreams she had; those of Twilight.

She never forgot how she had said, or rather, written farewell to the mare who had rescued her from the basement. She never had given her so much as a thank you...just a rejection of her love she had offered, and a demand that she protect Fluttershy when Rarity discovered what had happened.

Her dreams involving the young alicorn were almost always the same two; either a brief experience of returning and making love to her would-be marefriend, leaving her wanting when she woke up, or telling her off in person, driving the princess to tears.

But it was never like this. It was pure black, and she was certain that the crying she heard was Twilight. Navigating by sound alone, she reached the point where the sound was loudest, right on the ground in front of her.

"Twilight...?" she called out.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, Rainbow. I wish...there was something I could've done."

Rainbow awoke with a gasp, as the dream came to an abrupt halt, as they always had. The little sky she saw through the canopy showed it was very early morning. For as short as the dream felt, it had taken up the majority of the night. She sat up, and checked herself over. There were a few bruises, but fortunately, nothing had been broken in the forty foot fall from the tree. She loosened the rope from around her wings and neck, and tossed them aside, looking to her saddlebags and cloak, when a revelation hit her.

That couldn't have been it...could it?

She went over to her saddlebags, threw them back on, and put the cloak back on as well, and galloped towards the Crystal Empire in the direction that she came.

She had beaten the sunrise back. Barely anypony was up at this hour. She weaved through the streets at a casual trot, and returned to beneath the castle arches, to the Crystal Heart, which glowed dimly in the early morning darkness.

Steeling herself for one last shot, hoping against hope that this is what she did wrong, Rainbow took a breath, and then removed the hood of the cloak from around her head.

Immediately, the Crystal Heart reacted, the glow increasing ever slightly. It began pulsing, and as the wave of light passed through her, Rainbow felt the undeniable warmth of another pony's love. But not just anypony...

"Twilight..." she whispered to herself, tears pricking her eyes.

She turned away from the Heart, lifting the hood up again. The conflict in her rose as her heart pounded against her chest. Cadance was right, she had gone about it the wrong way. And because of her impatience and unwillingness to listen, she had almost...

No, it was in the past, she couldn't dwell on it now. But...but could she actually bring herself to do it? She had been gone and untraceable all this time, and Twilight still loved her, she had just felt it. Could she ever bring herself to reciprocate that love?

As she walked back through the streets of the Crystal Empire, she thought of everything she had tried so far, everything that had failed. Was this her one shot at normalcy again? How could she ever possibly begin to consider...forgiving them...?

She didn't know. There was no way to know. Not ahead of time, at least. There was not a chance in Tartarus that she was going to be able to plan this out. Shoving the internal debate to the back of her mind, she made her way to the train station. Putting her hood back up, she walked up to the ticket booth, where the clerk gave the mysterious mare his attention.

"One ticket to Ponyville."