Passing through that door was akin to leaving behind everything that I knew and stepping into a world where nothing made sense any more. A world where everyone around me was asleep, and only a few ponies had their eyes open wide enough to realize what was going on. It wasn’t an evil organization or a secret plot to control everypony so that somepony else could stay in power, at the expense of their subjects. It was… complicated. It was a world that everypony listening to this story is quite aware of, and was being trained to combat and keep away from our good citizens so that they could remain pure and happy. I think that night I felt it then, but was unsure of what to make of it all. I knew that as I shut the door that there was no going back and I didn’t care because at the time… the one pony I loved was going to disappear if I didn’t, and I couldn’t bare the thought.

With Scootaloo on my back, I headed up the cold, steel hallway, and towards where I was certain Trixie would be held. The hallways were ribbed and rust dripped like a fungus from the cheilings and down the sides of the corridor. Rivets seemed to hold the bleak thing together, and I wasn’t sure but I could swear I hear creaking, and felt slight movement through the floor, suggesting that the hallway was suspended. Of course, the notion wasn’t helped by the fact that the only light in the enclosed space was a soft red glow from lights that lined the thing at equal intervals. The light was even so soft that I could not see the end of the tunnel.

I wasn’t certain of Trixie’s location because I knew any better to go some other way, but because I just… had a feeling. Images from the voice in my head declared my direction, but it was subtle, like a guiding hand, and was much calmer than the previous bursts of information that had crippled me. Silence had returned to my mind, and had been replaced by a slight urging, and I was thankful for that.

And looking back now, if I had just taken that information and went home, avoiding Trixie all together, I probably could have gone back to my relatively normal life, and avoided everything that has happened.

Isn’t that how it always goes, though?

The end of the tunnel nearly smacked me in the face. As I’d said, the path was dark and only lit by red lights that glowed just enough to give a pony a sense of direction, so when I reached the end it was a little bit of a surprise. A latched set of side-ways sliding doors were cracked open just enough that I could wedge my hooves between the doors and pry it open, the machinery that would have powered it creaking and groaning as if they were too tired to be bothered with moving on their own.

It was then that I noticed that Scootaloo had said nothing in quite some time, and as I looked over my shoulder, I saw that she wasn’t doing too well. The attack must have hurt her or tired her out completely. The first part of that thought made me worry though as I frowned.

“Scoots…?” I whispered, “Scootaloo?”

Scootaloo stirred from where she lay. Being a Pegasus, she was much lighter than an Earth pony might have been, and I was thankful for that, because the young orange mare wasn’t exactly filly-sized. I decided that I’d have to get her to a hospital soon, but that I also had no idea about how to leave. Without my companion’s knowledge of the sewers, I’d be lost and so would she. My only option, as much as I wanted to go bolting off into the unknown in search of a way out, was to hope that Trixie was actually nearby and that she somehow knew the way out and back onto the streets of Ponyville.

That in mind, I stepped through the doorway, and out into an open room with a single cell in the middle of it. I could faintly make out a figure within, and walked with a cautious gait towards the iron bars surrounding it. The figured moved prompting me to stop.

“They’re coming, the guards.” it said as I began to recognize the voice, “Your time with Trixie is short.”

I squinted through the darkness, making out the familiar silhouette of the pony I had landed in jail with my own stupidity and greed. She seemed skinnier than I remembered.

“Trixie… I have to ask you. I have to know what this is.”

Trixie laughed in a low, feminine way that made my spine tingle in fear, “Trixie is somewhat surprised that you managed to get this far. Nopony has ever survived as long as you have with an uncultivated Fray.”

“Fray?”

Trixie nodded, “Yes… the Fray…” her demeanor changed as her voice grew softer, “It is… something that I… we… do not fully understand. It knows… It knows so much. But you can’t let it take you over, no matter what.” she insisted, “You can’t. Once it does, it’ll do to you what it’s done to me!”

The Fray roared in my head like a beast chained down, crippling my abilities to hear, see and move. Trixie’s manners changed again, almost as if she could hear it too.

“So you see… you know what it’s like. It knows what you know, to a degree. Trixie gives you… fifteen minutes before you… change.”

I managed to move my head to eye Trixie in defiance, “No. Tell me how to control it!” I demanded, “Tell me how to stop it! I won’t lose Aurora! Not for this! Please!” I pleaded, trying to reach deeper into whatever twisted pony Trixie was to reach the part that was still sympathetic.

The blue Unicorn just laughed, “You’re so innocent! So foalish!” she exclaimed with glee, “There is no answer!” She told me as she stepped through the cage’s door, phasing through it like a ghost. She’d never needed my help to escape at all, it seemed.

The other side of her personality came through at that moment, “Stop torturing him.” she said to herself, “We know what it is. We know how to stop it. We can help him.”

“Why should I let you?” the deeper, more sultry voice asked, “I know why you did this, and I won’t let you go any further.”

The roaring in my head intensified, making me cry out in anguish and bluring my vision. I was losing the fight, and I knew it. I was going to lose Aurora!

“See, little Fray wants it’s momma.” she cooed, “Come on, baby… come this way.”

My body began to move of its own accord. I strained against the pull, but my muscles ached and acted of their own accord anyways as they dragged me closer to the corrupted mare. Each step was agonizing as each moment I fought, I could feel myself slipping away into nothingness to be replaced by a monster.

What would happen to Scootaloo, I wondered through the haze of misery and lashing anguish, what would happen to Aurora if I came back and I wasn’t me? What would the new me do? Would it hurt her? Would it leave her and laugh as it walked away?”

Then I heard it. A voice through the darkness, cutting away at it, making a path for me.

“Enough of this!” it said, an ethereal tone that I barely could regonize as the more benevolent Trixie, “This has gone on long enough. I allowed you to plant the seed, and now it’s my turn to make a move.”

“Stop!” the sultry, darker Trixie protested, “You cannot. I own it, and I own you! Go back to your corner of the mind! You can’t do this!”

Trixies stomped her hoof, though I could barely see it through the tears that were welling up in my eyes, “You do not own me yet…” she hissed.

The events that proceeded afterwards are events that I only just recently came around to understanding. Nice Trixie, as I would come to call her, called out in a manner similar to Bad Trixie, asking me to come to her instead of her counterpart. At first, I could not comprehend how, nor could The Fray. It was one pony. One pony that called two different aspects to attention and attempted to bring us both to it to achieve two different means. It is a tough concept to comprehend, even now. My body did not know how to respond, and as the creature roared, my pain intensified and my frustration grew feral. I was coming apart at the seams.

“Trixie will lose it!” Bad Trixie called, “We must do something!”

“As much as I hate to agree, I concur…” Nice Trixie agreed, “Shall we?”

“Yes!” her counterpart cried, “Hurry!”

My vision shook. The pain lessened. I watched as Trixie became Trixies, the two mental halves separating. One, the Bad Trixie, had red eyes and a black mane, while the Nice Trixie had a blue Aura, normal eyes, and a white, tattered mane.

“Come.” they called to us in unison, “I can help.”

Now with an objective that I could work towards, I crawled. I could feel my being splitting, fracturing, breaking even further. My heart felt like it would explode as I cried, screamed and roared all at the same time, trying to make my way to the Nice version of Trixie while my competing opponent, a being I did not understand and could not comprehend at that moment, attempted to pull us the other way.

“I can promise you strength!” the Bad Trixie called, “I can promise you untold power!”

“I can promise you redemption.” The Nice one called in counter, “I can promise you life.”

I found myself, or us, or something, considering our options. Power? Life? Could we have both? For the first time, I could hear it easily. We were struggling together to choose. I wanted life, it wanted power. We both wanted something different, but at the same time we found ourselves seeing the other side of things. With power, I could protect Aurora if I had to. With life, the Fray could understand the things it knew.

I stood, regaining control. My eyes cleared and the pain went away with the tears.

“No.” we said together, “We want both.”

“What!?” Bad Trixie cried her red eyes glaring down at us in rage, “What?! Why?”

“We understand each other. We are not sure how. It does not matter at this moment.” we told the two as we separated mentally for a second, The Fray speaking then, “I want to understand and to live.” it told them as it ceded control so I could speak, “And I want to be powerful, so I can protect those whom I love.”

Nice Trixie smiled smugly, “So it begins.” she said.

Then all of a sudden, I felt weak. The Fray receded into my mind, taking its strength with it. I collapsed and Scootaloo fell off my back, rolling to the ground with a groan. She had been unconscious the entire time. My worry for her life surged, desperation once again pulsing in my chest.

“You… you knew that this would happen!?” Bad Trixie exclaimed in anger, “You planned this didn’t you!?”

The two Trixies merged back together. I’m still not sure if there were ever really two, or if it was a spell. The now single Trixie just grinned with a foreboding flash of her teeth. The darkness played with her features, making the face before me seem fierce.

“Was there ever. Any. Doubt?”

And with a puff of smoke the Unicorn was gone, leaving me alone with an unconscious Scootaloo and The Fray settling in at the back of my mind. Somehow I knew why it was not in control of my body like Trixie’s… whatever it was... had been. The Fray had formed a pact with me, something that I did not understand fully, but in exchange for strength, assistance, and sanity, The Fray would compile memories we shared, and learn, growing in understanding. I recieved its power… while The Fray received life.

And for my first request, I called The Fray back into the forefront in a frantic plea for the the power to save my orange friend. I could hear guards yelling about something down the hall. We had to move.

“I need your help.” I said, “A friend of mine is hurt, and I don’t think I have the strength to get out of here alone.”

The voice sounded as a child, though it was airy and analytic in its response, “I am tired. I want to rest.” it responded.

“Please…” I begged, “This is important.”

“What is a… friend?” it asked, yawning in my brain.

It was going to be a long, long explanation.

“I will tell you… if you’ll help me.”

The Fray forced me to my feet and helped me walk, infusing my muscles with energy that I did not have on reserve after fighting with Cold Thorn and against Trixie and whatever The Fray was before it became what… it… is now?

It’s not an easy concept to explain. The contract, the transformation, the Trixies. But I think everypony gets it, so let’s move on.

Infused with energy, we ran back the way I’d come, managing to get Scootaloo up onto my back again an keep her there. We raced back through the door that opened up into the chamber the Cold Thorn and I had fought in and slowed to a trot I knew Scootaloo was in trouble, but didn’t have the expertise to figure out what was wrong. The hospital was the most obvious next stop, I knew that too, but I didn’t know how long my newly reformed brain-dwelling-voice-creature would be able to keep siphoning energy or whatever to keep me moving.

Come to think of it, there was a lot that I didn’t know back then.

In spite of that, I decided that Aurora was my best bet. If anything, she’d be mad that I didn’t go there first and I hoped with all my heart she’d be able to find it in her heart to forgive me for everything, but I didn’t know if I could make it all the way to the hospital without collapsing, even with The Fray’s help.

Not only that, but I’d have a chance to explain all my stupidity and transgressions that had put her at risk and caused her pain and worry. I could start over, I just knew I could. I had a job waiting for me back in Ponyville, and the ailment that had been hurting me and scaring my fiance’ was now under control.

I felt my mind rumble as we passed over the catwalk and back down a level or so to re-enter the sewer tunnels. It was somewhat perturbed at the notion of control and being called an ailment. I recompensed it with the memories that I had from before its reformation, where I had scared Aurora with my sudden breakdown. The Fray did not understand completely, but was intrigued and settled for not being aggravated with my thoughts.

It was going to take some getting used to for the both of us, sharing that space. It was a blessing, though. Having The Fray with full access to my mind meant that it could guide me easily through the sewers by digging through memories that I didn’t have easy access to because I’d not thought them to be consequential at the time. I had not anticipated Scootaloo being attacked by Cold Thorn, I had not anticipated The Fray’s previous actions.

Musing on those thoughts, I took note that the sigils and spells that had lined the walls earlier were mostly gone save for a number of red, flashing ones. They seemed to sing a song of danger as I listened, flicking my ears about to see if there were any differences between the signs’ aural tones. As I took them in, I could hear The Fray in the back of my mind processing them and tabulating ideas, trying to form a conclusion. As it did this, I realized we were near the entrance that Scootaloo had brought us through. I checked my pockets, taking stock of the screws. I had no intention of keeping them, nor replacing them. I could leave them next to the grate, and maybe somepony would do it for me.

I’m sure glad there’s no way to track a pony by the hoofprints on the stuff they touch. That would really make sneaking around a whole lot harder. What a society that would be, being able to tell where a pony was just by what he or she touched.

“Could you be a little more quiet when you do that?” I asked, referencing all the notes that The Fray was making about us, all its little calculations visible to me in my mind’s eye.

“Yes, but I thought that you would be interested in the results and the process by which I come to said conclusions.”

“I’d rather have a little silence right now. We’re almost out.”

Climbing up just enough to peek out of the storm drain on the edge of the sidewalk, I peeked out from the grate. Sirens and emergency graced my hearing and sight. Ponies were shutting their windows and ERNG guardsponies were frantically searching the streets.

“Trixie seems to have caused a lot of trouble by escaping.” The Fray’s voice echoed in my head. “This will not aid in our escape.”

“You aren’t kidding.” I said aloud.

“Who goes there?!” A gruff voice called out, “Where are you?”

“Crap.” I whispered, thinking as quickly as I could, “Uh… down here!” I called out.

“This does not seem to be a course of action that is wise.”

“Shush.” I interrupted.

The guard moved to our position. I thought I recognized the voice but I had to be sure.

“When everything started, I hid down here.” I began to explain, half forcing desperation to mix with a little mock panic in my voice, “There’s a young mare down here too, she seems to be hurt. Please help us!”

The guard picked up the grating, lifting it easily with his mouth. I can’t imagine that it must have tasted all that good. I think it surprised Thunderstep more when he discovered it was me that was down there than when I discovered that it was he who had found us.

“Air Ramp!” Thunderstep stammered, “What’re you doing? Get out of there!”

Thunderstep pulled me from the sewer with a swift yank.

“You’re in a lot of trouble…” he growled, “I told you that you could TALK to Trixie, not set her free!”

“W-wait! I didn’t! I didn’t set her free, I swear!” I stammered, “She didn’t need my help to get out! She just… told me some stuff and completely just… poof! Puff of black smoke!”

Thunderstep eyed me with discretion. He didn’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me either if I had been in his position. It was the truth, but what I’d told him left out a whole scheme of events that had also happened. Not wanting to tell him the whole story was natural, I suppose. Of course he would not afford me such a luxury and allow me to retain my freedom.

“Start. Talking. You owe me.” he glared as he began walking against the cold cobbled ground, “Let’s get Scootaloo to the hospital while you do.”

I had to reveal my big secret to Thunderstep at that point. There was no avoiding it. At first, he didn’t believe that there was a second being in my head, and even after the conversation I don’t think he really did, in all likelihood thinking that I was just suffering from some form of dementia or other, but when I told him of Cold Thorn’s attack, he seemed genuinely surprised. In particular when I revealed the part about the damaged panel which turned out to be the control-system for the complicated set of spells matricies that was suppressing Trixie’s magic, and that it had been rendered inoperable by Cold Thorn’s rage.

“So… That’s where Cold Thorn was…” Thunderstep sighed, “I just… I don’t understand why he’d do this, attack a friend, and then a young mare… It’s not like him.”

I shook my head, “It’s very like him, I think. He revealed everything to me before we fought. He’s been spying on Aurora’s most private moments with me… he’s got issues.”

We arrived at the hospital together in a decent amount of time. Scootaloo wasn’t in any immediate danger, I didn’t think, but she hadn’t awoke since the last time she’d spoken. I hoped to Luna that she wasn’t in a coma.

“I am nearing my limit.” The Fray warned, “We must rest or it will begin to hurt us both to continue.”

I nodded, “Just a little longer, Fray.” I told it aloud.

This made Thunderstep stare at me as if I was crazy. Which… by definition I kind of was. I had to explain that I wasn’t really moving of my own accord entirely and was helped by the being that I’d told him about earlier. Thunderstep sighed, confiding in me that there were stranger things he supposed. He also told me that the only reason that he wasn’t recommending that I go to a psyche-pony was because I seemed pretty stable despite everything I’d said.

That helped settle my fears a little.

We entered the hospital with the moon high and a cold chill on our backs. The entrance was much warmer than the outside air.

“Mr. Ramp!” Nurse Redheart called out, as she was still a nurse back then and not a doctor, “Are you okay? You look roug-”

Nurse Redheart stopped, staring at the unconscious Scootaloo on my back.

“She needs help.” I pleaded, feeling The Fray’s extra strength faltering, causing me a little pain and making me wince, “Please. I…”

Collapsed. That’s what I did, didn’t even have to say I was about to, which saved me some of the trouble of saying it out loud. As I did so, I just barely managed to keep myself from falling fast enough to knock my companion off my back.

“Get me another nurse!” Redheart yelled down the hall, “I need two gurneys and an I.V. bag, STAT! Move, ponies!” she clopped her hooves together.

I hear hoofsteps and scuffling.

“Air Ramp, we are depleted. We must rest.”

I chuckled a little, “Alright… We’ll rest… Thanks for the help.”

Silence. Dreams. All of it was too fast to see, to remember.

“...What is a friend?” the question echoed in my mind as the dreams came to a climax, “What is a friend?”

I awoke with a start. In a hospital. Again. At first I did not remember why I was there. Aurora was on the other side of the room staring at, or maybe through, me with a dark gaze. Her mane was matted and flustered. The sight made my heart sink, and I wished that I could have at least made it home first and been able to explain everything to Aurora.

What about Scootaloo, though?

I turned my head to find the young mare in the bed next to mine. She was bandaged up around the middle like I had been for the past few days. I shook my head and covered my face with my hooves in shame. It was all the result of my greed. One moment of ill-conceived want… and everything had come tumbling down. I felt a hoof on my shoulder and glanced up.

It was Aurora. She was not crying, but she wasn’t smiling either. She didn’t look displeased but instead worried.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked.

I told her everything. Absolutely. Everything. I told her about the plan, about the sewers, the fight with Cold Thorn and the encounter with Trixie. By the end of my story, she had gone from enraptured by the tale, to sniffling sadly, to worried again. The look on my fiance’s face made me feel as if I’d accomplished nothing at all.

“I have a confession.” Aurora began.

My heart sank deeper. I almost didn’t want to hear what was sure to come next.

“I knew about Cold Thorn’s liking to me.” she revealed, “It was before you and I’d gotten together that we’d met and dated for a while.”

… That wasn’t so bad, I guessed.

“I knew that he was spying when we went and caused trouble in Ponyville and he took up tracking us down… but I had no idea that his involvement was so… creepy…”

I shifted in my sheets, listening as Aurora explained a history that I didn’t know about between herself and Lieutenant Thorn. She revealed that they had dated, but it had not gotten very far. It turned out that Cold Thorn was very overprotective and jealous and had threatened Aurora once or twice for speaking with another male friend who turned out to be me. The idea made me uncomfortable.

My thoughts turned to the fight a few hours prior and how I’d left the insane Unicorn guard.

I knew that Thunderstep would have to find Cold Thorn down there. He was the only pony that knew his location, and he couldn’t leave the crazy bastard down there to die. Even I wouldn’t have been that cruel, and he’d tried to kill me. Another thing that worried me was the fact that I didn’t know whose side Thunderstep would take, or if anypony would believe Cold Thorn at all. If I had to defend myself in the event that they did, I didn’t know what I’d say. In essence, I realized, everything was still up in the air and my future wasn’t guaranteed after all. All the work I’d done, the fights I’d just been through and the injuring of Scootaloo still hadn’t paid for the greed that I’d exhibited almost a week ago.

It made me wonder about the contract. Had I been greedy then? Was my punishment to be twofold as a result? I just wanted to go home, go back to work, and enjoy the nights that Aurora and I had enjoyed together at least once a week again. Aurora’s sighs brought me back to reality as I turned my gaze to watch her. All the happiness we’d shared felt as if it had been years ago, as if we’d been spiraling down for months instead of the course of less than a week.

“There’s… one more thing that I should tell you…” her eyes watered as she began to reveal the biggest surprise of my life then-so-far, “I’m not a mailmare.”

“What…?”

“It’s why I chose you… you weren’t complicated… You were the one thing in my life that didn’t require a lot of thought or planning. You were just… there! And that was enough!” she cried, the hurt obvious in her eyes.

I laid back in my bed, “I went and ruined it… I guess.”

Aurora stopped crying, “I should have been honest with you, I should have told you… but I… I just wanted things to be normal for me, just for once!”

I turned over, away from her, “I suppose you’ll be going, then. I’m not simple any more. What you wanted from me, Aurora, it’s not really there any more. I’m not simple, and I’m sorry.”

I heard a clinking against the ground. When I turned back over Aurora was gone and the Rainmetal Bangle was in her place. I picked it up, and I began to cry silently the way I had a year ago when my parents had passed away. Once again, I had lost everything I loved. The Fray was notedly silent, and I didn’t care. I wanted to blame this on it, I think it knew that, but I couldn’t. Everything that had occurred was my fault, and I had to own up to that.

A realization came to me. If Aurora wasn’t a mailmare, then what… what was she?

I tore the I.V. from my veins, letting the blood drip from my forehoof. There wasn’t anything physically wrong with me, and there was no point in staying around. I had just been exhausted. Nurse Redheart walked in at that moment.

“Where are you going?” she asked, “Get back in bed.”

“No. I’m going home.” I told her and walked out into the hospital’s hallway.

She followed me down the hall, “Wait! Air, please wait!”

“Why?” I grumbled, “I don’t need to hear how I should be more careful. I don’t need a lecture.”

The nurse jumped in front of me and barred my path. I stared her down, making her cower, making her curl up backwards on her hindquarters. I could feel The Fray come to attention, preparing to fight, preparing to let loose its fury at my side.

“Air… what’s happened to you?” she asked, “You’re not normally like this.”

“What would you know?” I asked her, “You barely even knew who I was before the events of earlier this week.”

I stepped past her, fuming. I didn’t look back to see her crying, but I could hear it.

“We could have-”

“Don’t even say it.” I angrily hissed mentally to my brain-companion, “I don’t want to hurt other ponies.”

“It is the most effective and efficient way to get what you want.”

I ignored that and sped up to a trot, exiting the hospital and taking an angry look at the Sunrise. It was a beautiful morning, and I hated that. Why should it have been so beautiful outside when I was suffering so much? My anger flared and I ran as if I could escape it if I did. I ran home in the cold, early morning light of Winter as I cursed my fate, cursed myself, even cursed Aurora.

And then I cursed myself again just for doing so to Aurora.

I crashed through my front door, slamming it behind me. Once more,The Fray was silent. I crawled into bed, tossing the Rainmetal Bangle on a side table next to an open window that hung just above my bed, leaving it where it lay and forcing myself to sleep. I was still so tired from the exertion of the previous night, and I just wanted to get away from everything.

I awoke the next morning with an unhappy sigh and a literal cloud over my head. It was a small, wispy thing that I could just barely see through. The cloud floated about in a figure eight, lazily bobbing in above my head.

And then it spoke.

“Hello.”

I fell out of my bed, screaming, getting tangled up in the blankets and then bashing my head up against the bottom of the bedside table.

“I am… I am Fray.” the cloud said, “I have figured out how to be… outside? Is that the word?”

I grumbled and then let loose a sigh as a small gust of wind blew in through my window, depositing a feather on my nose. It was doused in a scent I was so familiar with that I recognized it immediately.

Cloudspire.

“You do not answer. Can you see me? Can you not see me?”

I bolted upright, struggling out of the blankets and sheets and tripping a little before landing my hooves on the top of the table.

“A… note?” I mumbled, “Fray, when did this note get here?”

“I do not know.” it told me, “Can you see me?” it asked again.

I nodded, “Yes, and I’ll have questions about that later…”

The cloud hovered over my shoulder as I read. Oddly, I didn’t feel invaded by its presence like I might have anypony else doing the same thing. I’d have to muse on that later, though.

Dear Air Ramp,

I am… sorry. For everything. I need some time to think. I’ve taken the bangle back… I hope that you’ll understand why. I haven’t left. I just want to take some time,and think a little. Okay? Everything’s so confusing right now. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you, even as you read this.

But I am afraid of you. I’m afraid that you’re not… you anymore. I know that you’ve changed. I know that I haven’t been completely honest with you. But I want to be. You already know what I’m not. You already know about why I chose you. Some day… I’ll tell you what I am. What I do for a living.

I don’t know what I’m going to do right now, though. I don’t know what to think… but… I want to figure it out. I want to know why I still love you… I can’t do that while we’re… well, while we’re….

I’ll see you again, I promise.

I promise.

Love,

Aurora.

I put the note down and looked towards the afternoon sky, too numb to feel anything at all.