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Equestria's First Human

by Ceehoff

Chapter 4: Chapter IV- Moving In

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Author's Notes:

NOTE: I've just recently made some corrections and additions to this chapter. Looking back at it, I can't believe I used to write like that. Grammatical errors left and right. It just lost its flow.

I feel that some of the dislikes I got from this fic were from those errors I made.

Anyhoo, I fixed them :3

Enjoy this refurbished chapter! More will be tended to soon!

Equestria’s First Human- Chapter IV

Written and Drawn by Ceehoff

“Whoa…” Twilight exhaled. “This is uncanny!”

“You kin say that again,” Applejack muttered.

“So… now what?” Rainbow Dash shrugged.

Thump…thump…thump…thump…thump…

The purple unicorn turned to Connor, who was bumping his head against a shelf. He looked like he was pissed at himself about his lack of control of words around Celestia from earlier. However, he was really glad that the recovery worked (as well as everypony did). Still, he felt like a moron.

“I guess he’s with us for now,” Twilight responded. “However, he can't stay with us forever.”

What??” Fluttershy piped up loudly for somepony so quiet.

Everypony stared at her.

Realizing her sudden outburst, she ducked to the ground and repeated more quietly. “Oh…um…I mean, what? Why?”

“Think about it, girls. He may stay here for a while, but there comes a moment when he has to go back to his own world. He can’t live with us here forever. He needs to be back with his kind, so he could resume his life. The life that I interrupted," she added glumly.

“Awwww…” Pinkie Pie moped. “I wish he could stay here forever. He the nicest, most kindest, interdimen-dimen-dimen...human I’ve ever met! Plus, he's like an abandoned puppy that you just cannot refuse to take home with you and have him stay with you forever.”

“You mean ‘most kind’ or ‘kindest’,” Twilight corrected her.

“I know what I’m saying, Twilight,” the party pony huffed.

The grammar queen rolled her eyes. “Well, I wish he could stay here, too, Pinkie, but it's inevitable. He'll have to be brought back to his home.”

She turned to the rest of the gang. “...And as long as he’s here, we might as well find him someplace to settle in until he returns home. One of us will have to offer him our home.”

"Ah'm afraid ah'm out,” Applejack objected. “Ah don’t think there’ll be enough room for ‘im in the house, unless he shares a bed with somepony. But, then again, that boy's big! He wouldn't be able to keep himself on top of the mattress, fer Pete's sake. Also, ah certainly don’t wanna have him sleepin’ in the barn. That barn gives even me them heebie-jeebies at night."

“I would be glad to take him in,” Rainbow Dash joined. “That is, if he wouldn’t fall right through the floor. That's what happens when a house is made out of a cloud. So, I guess I’m out.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!” Pinkie Pie squeaked, thrusting her hoof high into air. “I would love to have him stay at my house! Wait a minute, he is in my house, because I live right upstairs of Sugarcube Corner! Ahhhhhhhh!”

After squealing like a little filly who just got a new puppy, she ran up the stairs at blinding speed.

"He could sleep in my room!" she called from the top of the stairway.

The door clicked open.

Suddenly, a landslide of cakes and pastries poured down the stairs. There seemed to be thousands of sweet pastries. Maybe even millions. Her head popped out from the bottom of the pile.

“Oh, but look out for Mount Sugar-Rushmore! He tends to get pretty pushy. Literally! You just have be sure not to land on your head. I had a couple of times, but thanks to my soft, bouncy-wouncy mane, I’m as safe as a cake in a box. A chocolate cake in a box. This mane has saved my life a lot of times!”

An automatic turn-down for Pinkie Pie. They didn't want the human to break his neck from the falling wall of pastries.

“I don’t think he will be able to even walk to his bed in my house," Twilight pondered. "I still haven’t cleaned up all of the books I used for my research project yet.”

Then, she pulled out a small notebook and quill with her magic.

“Note to self: put books back in shelf," she wrote out loud.

Silence loomed in the circle of ponies. Nopony else seemed to volunteer to have Connor stay at their house. Fluttershy’s eyebrows furrowed in determination. This was her chance.

Why the determination? She liked Connor.

No, she like-liked him. The reason? No colt or any other being complimented her so sweetly and politely like he did. She hardly even left her own house because of her shyness. She feared new ponies like they were rabid piranhas. Still, behind all of that, she still wished that somepony would say something exceptionally nice to her, other than her friends. Plus, she felt exceptionally comfortable around him. He was like a new animal to her, and she knew that her ability with animals is superb. He would be in good shape in no time staying with her. Plus, her mind was filled with questions about him: what kind of animals he had, did he like animals, did he have a girlfriend, did he like her, did he--?

Then, she lowered her head, glancing nervously at the purple unicorn. Because of her little outburst earlier, she believed that Twilight knew that she was fancying the visitor. Twilight was a really smart pony, and she was able to pick certain vibes like that, with or without the help of books.

However, Fluttershy also didn't want to miss out on having the human as her guest. Besides, she wanted to teach herself to not look so obvious and predictable about her feelings for the human. That should not be too hard... right?

It was now or nothing. Time to go for the gusto. Taking a deep breath, she thrusted her hoof in the air.

...Before she sank back down sadly in defeat. Somepony else had already beat her to it.

“Very well! I will take him in.” Rarity announced nobly.

You, Rarity?” Twilight was surprised.

“Um, quick fact about you, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said as she crossed her arms. “You’re the one who gets really pessimistic and freaked out about having ‘unexplained and strange creatures’ in your house.”

“Rainbow Dash, for shame!” Rarity huffed, tossing her head. “Connor is not an ‘unexplained and strange creature’. He is our polite, interdimensional friend in need of shelter. If nopony else will take him in, then I will. After all, it's a generous thing to do, is it not?”

Right, she is the Element of Generosity, after all, Twilight smiled in thought.

“All right, so we are all in agreement?” the purple unicorn asked.

“Darn tootin’!” Applejack beamed.

“Yuppers!” Pinkie Pie concurred with a mouth full of chocolate cake.

“Meh, I’m cool with it,” Rainbow Dash shrugged nonchalantly.

Just say 'no', Fluttershy. Just say 'no'! It's not that hard. You can do it. You can do it! Fluttershy forced herself.

"Um, y-yes..."

Oh, ponyfeathers!

"Then it's settled. Connor will stay with Rarity," Twilight announced.

Rarity nodded at her unicorn friend and turned to approach him, who was still bumping his head on the shelf, still mentally disturbed over how he was brought into Equestria. (He must have had a forehead of iron. Well, what was left of it, maybe.)

“Oh, Connor!” she warbled.

“Hmm? Whu--? Yes?” he immediately turned around to face her. His forehead was a blotchy red.

“Since you're going to be staying here for a while, I would like to offer you a room in my house.”

“Really? At your house?” the human blinked in surprise.

“Indeed, darling!”

Sleeping in another pony’s house. A house that belonged to a white pony who happened to speak English and look somewhat attractive, being a beauty queen and female. He did not know whether to feel grateful or grateful with a hint of creeped out. Still, it was an offer he could not refuse. He wanted sleep, like most teenagers did.

“Okay. Thanks, Rarity.”

"Now, come along, dear! Let's go back to the boutique."

----------

“And, here’s where you'll be sleeping, darling.”

Rarity gestured to a vast and wide podium, lined with silky, maroon curtains.

“It used to be a podium to display my dresses, but place a mattress right in the middle and you will have quite a regal-looking bed. You’ll sleep like a prince!”

“Cool!” Connor exclaimed.

“With these lovely, silky, thick curtains, not even Celestia’s sun could wake you!”

“You really didn’t have to go all through this trouble, Rarity.”

“Pish-posh! I’m quite fond of giving you the best, because you’re my guest!” After saying that, she gasped in surprise. “Oh! That rhymed!”

Connor chuckled warmly at her homely attitude.

“Anyway, make yourself at home. I have to complete an order for a very important client," she said before she turned to a small chest placed beside one of her workstations.

“’Kay.”

“Oh, dear,” she moaned after opening the chest. “I’ve completely run out of baby blue diamonds to decorate the dress for my very important client! Well, no matter. I might as well make the best of it. I need to get more.”

Snatching up a basket with her magic, she walked to the front door.

“Darling, I have to go out and find some more gems. I'll be back soon.”

“Okay!”

She made it halfway out the doorway before whirling around to face him again. “OH, and please try to not get anything dirty!”

“Okay.”

“Or damaged!”

“Okay.”

“Or misplaced by one centimeter!”

“Uhh…”

“Or anything in particular that'll make the whole room look untidy!”

“Are you gonna find those gems or not?” he smirked at her.

“Oh, right! And do be careful around Opalescence! She's not very flexible around new guests.”

“All right, all right,” Connor replied impatiently, though not rudely as he closed the door behind her.

Opalescence? Who the hell was--?

Meow! Connor turned to the sound and saw a cat with a white, flowing coat of fur. It had a small bow fastened on the hair on its head and was wearing… eye shadow and mascara?? (Okayyyyyy, that was weird.)

He was not a huge fan of cats. He didn’t like the way they skulked about, eyeing people down with those glowing eyes and piercing gazes. With those grim looks on their faces, they looked like they were going to pounce on someone and rip his or her throat out, unleashing hell on earth. They looked cuter when they were kittens. However, he digressed. If he was going to stay with Rarity, he might as well get used to this furball. He knelt on one knee, facing the white ball of fur.

“Heyyy,” he said in a reluctantly pleasant voice, “Who’s a cute kitty, hmmm? Whooza coot kittehhhh?”

The cat shot him a grim look, which made him shudder. He swore to God that that cat was previously owned by the devil. He knelt further down and pointed an angry finger at the ball of fur.

“Listen, cat... I’m not a big fan of cats, especially cats with your attitude. Rarity was really kind to let me stay at her place, and I don’t want our guff to ruin it. To prevent that, let’s agree to stay out of each other’s way. You walk your path, I walk my path, no intrusions. Got it?”

The cat simply raised its claw and swiped at his face. A bit of Connor’s sideburn fell off. He slowly stood back up and backed away, careful not to piss it off any further so it would not chop off his head.

The cat had won this argument.

----------

Connor lied flat on the floor of the boutique, heaving a giant yawn.

Rarity sure was taking a long time finding those diamonds. Just how easily does she find them? Not even lifting his head off of the ground, he sluggishly looked at one of the dresses nearby. One was orate with numerous emeralds, looking like a perfect rainbow. Another one was covered with aquamarines. From the look of it, it seemed like she was able to find gems easily. Just how many kinds of gems reside in this world? And how many of them each? They could be everywhere! Hell, he thought before he returned home, he should find as many gems as he could carry. He could buy fifty high definition televisions when he comes back with that kind of load. He could buy a new house. Scratch that, a new, freaking mansion. No, a freaking new mansion and a Lamborghini! That would teach everyone at his high school a lesson. He would get all the riches, and they would not. He smirked dreamily at that idea.

Boredom strangled his body into a heaping pile of laziness. It was too much for his mind to handle, so he sat up. He could feel his spine creak from the tense muscles in his back from lying flat on the hard floor. Looking around, he saw the lifeless expressions on the pony-shaped mannequins. He saw the empty seats in the salon, creaking without even moving. He heard the air conditioning purr from somewhere in the room. His ears were flooded with the silence of the room and the blowing of the air conditioning.

Having his fill or boredom, he stood up, thinking that the best thing to do was to familiarize himself with the house. Sure as hell a lot better than lying idly on the floor like a corpse.

He climbed the stairs to see what fascinating rooms await him. The aromas of rich perfume and fresh rolls of fabric filled his nostrils and tickled his forehead as he reached the second floor. Rarity really did know to make a home smell homely. He noticed one door in the hallway was cracked open. He could not help, but look inside. He heard the sound of blowing wind. It seemed to echo. Sounded like it was a big room.

Pushing the door farther open, he found that he was right. The room had a showcase stand and four pony-mannequins, lined with decorative attire. Were they saddles? Wait... Ponies rode ponies here? That seemed pretty messed up. The room also had a desk, drawers, shelves and a wardrobe. The window was cracked open, probably for air conditioning.

Looks like this is her office, Connor thought.

He saw sheets of blank paper placed neatly on the desktop. A pencil was laid next to it.

He knew exactly what to do.

----------

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“Hellooooo? Rarity?” a young voice called from behind the door.

It fell silent for a few seconds, waiting for a response.

Then, the door opened, revealing a small unicorn-filly with a white fur coat and green eyes. Her mane and tail were swirly and multi-colored with grayish tones of pink and lavender.

“Big sis?” she called again. She had an eager expression on her face, like she had fun plans with the owner of the boutique.

“Rarity? Where are you?”

So, the white mare was not on the first floor. Maybe, she was upstairs.

She started to climb the stairs, hoping to find her sister on the second floor. She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a noise coming from the office. It sounded like a pencil scratching on a piece of paper. Her eyes sparkled in joy. It was her big sister! She immediately leapt into the room.

“Hi, Rarity!“ she squeaked. "Can we go play at the park?"

Her expression suddenly changed when her answer was a pair of unfamiliar, startled, and confused eyes looking into her large, green ones.

“EEEEEEEEEEK!!!” the unicorn shrieked loudly. She was so loud that she made the human panic and cover his ears. The filly whipped herself around and hid just outside the doorway behind the wall between the hallway and the office.

Omigawshomigawshomigawsh! A monster is rampaging Rarity’s office! What is it doing there? Wait... OH, NO! He must’ve taken Rarity as his prisoner and is tearing around her office for gems! But wait, he was writing something on a piece of paper… Oh, no! He must be writing a threat…or a ransom! Ohhhh, you’re not going to get away with this, you big, erm, thingie!! Maybe if I catch that monster, I could get a cutie mark for being a hero! Or a monster-catcher! She shook her head violently. No! No time to wonder! You’ll find out when you’ve done it! Let's see. What can I use to catch a monster? She scanned the hallway desperately, looking for her item. Her eye stopped at the nearest object she found.

Connor was twisting his pinky in his ear. Damn, was she loud. She could have made his ears explode.

Great, more ponies to introduce himself to. He really wished Rarity was there with him. She would help him. He thought he was through with the introductions.

Wrong. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

Whatever, he might as well get it overwith.

He was about to walk up to the door to talk to the filly until a white blur caught his eye. Noticing a shadow creeping over him, he looked up and saw her in the air over him with a laundry basket gripped between her hooves. She gave a loud battle-cry and slammed the laundry basket over his head. The human's arms were pinned onto his sides, but he was able to move his forearms.

Then, the filly started scrambling all over his body, punching him, biting him, and holding him down. Connor, however, was standing silently like a statue, stupefied over what had just happened. The unicorn’s punching, biting, and wrestling were nothing, but little rabbit-punches, nibbles and squeezing.

Okayyyy… the human thought.

Then, two more fillies appeared in the doorway, one an earth pony and the other was a pegasus. They must've heard the unicorn’s screaming and rushed up to see what the rucous was about.

“Sweetie Belle! What in the hey is goin’—“ the earth pony trailed off when she saw the little unicorn’s catch-of-the-day.

“Apple Bloom! Scootaloo! This monster kidnapped Rarity! We have to stop him before he gets away with the gems!”

“Right!” the two other fillies chirped in unison. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER HEROES!!”

The “monster” stood and watched as the two other fillies were falling down on him.

Aw, you’ve gotta be fu—…

----------

“Connor, I’m back!” Rarity’s voice rang as she entered the house with a basket filled to the brim with glimmering gems.

“My, my, my! You would not believe my luck! Not only did I find more baby blue diamonds, but also these lovely and rare sunbeam rubies! It was so worth the…”

She paused after she heard some raucous coming from upstairs.

"Connor? What's going on up there??" she called, worried about what she was going to witness.

Placing the basket on the floor, she raced up the stairs. The noise was coming from her office. She dashed up to the doorway to find three fillies tugging, punching and biting a dazed human with a laundry basket over his head and shoulders.

“GIRLS!” the fashionista barked.

The trio of miniature rascals turned their heads to the white, purple-maned unicorn standing in the doorway.

“Rarity!” the little, white unicorn exclaimed, elated and in relief. “You’re okay!”

“Of course I’m okay! What’s not okay is--!"

"Stay back, sis!" She raised a hoof to stop her in her tracks. "We've got this all under control! This monster here just broke into your office and was trying to steal all of your gems! Weren't ya, punk?"

"NO," Connor replied.

"Lies!" Scootaloo shouted. "Shut your maw, you lying, scummy, thieving Diamond Dog!"

"Diamond Dog? What the hell is--?"

"Silence!" Apple Bloom said, striking the basket over his head with a roll of fabric.

"Unbelievable..." he scowled to himself.

"He is not a monster or a Diamond Dog! He doesn't even look like dog!! He's a human!" Rarity was on the brink of shrieking.

“You know this guy?” the little pegasus gawked in surprise.

“Yes! I do! He is a new friend as well as my guest, and look how you're all treating him! For shame! Release him immediately!” The mare stomped her hoof.

The three fillies untangled themselves from the pile and stood in front of the disheveled human.

The human lifted the laundry basket off of his head and shoulders to look at his three, little attackers.

“Girls,” the purple-maned unicorn spoke. “This is Connor. He is a human. He has been brought here from his world by accident, (courtesy of Twilight), and until a way to help him return is found, he'll be staying here for a while.”

“A human? Ah ain’t never seen a human before,” chirped the little yellow earth pony with a red mane and tail.

“Me either. Is he some kind of alien?” the little orange pegasus with a hot pink-orange mane asked out of curiosity.

“Not necessarily, Scootaloo,” Rarity replied. “’Alien’ sounds harsh. 'Unexpected guest' is the more appropriate word.”

"Whoa, nelly," the yellow filly whispered in amazement.

“Now, girls, apologize!” she said in a commanding tone.

The three fillies hung their heads.

“We’re sorry,” they all said in unison.

The human smiled. Even though their little act of heroism was obtrusive and affronting, it was pretty amusing. Strangely cute, too. Like being attacked by a litter of puppies.

"Eh, it's okay. I thought that was pretty funny, actually."

However, they were not cheered up.

“Ugh. There goes our chance to get our “Hero” cutie marks,” the little pegasus moped. “Why is it so hard to get our cutie marks?!”

Connor raised his eyebrows. “I think you just got them.”

“WE DID??” they all asked in unison. Expressions full of hope, they instantly turned their heads around to look at their flanks.

Nothing.

“What—?” They turned back to the smiling human.

“Because you guys are already cuties!”

Ugh, as cheesy as that sounded, he had to say it. Giving compliments was his tool to making friends. It worked on everypony else, so it should work... right?

After a moment of staring at him, the little unicorn was brushing her hoof across the floor, blushing. “Oh! Well, thank you! Thank you, kindly...” she giggled bashfully.

“D’aww, shucks! Thank ya kindly, sir!” the yellow filly said.

“Feh!” the pegasus scoffed. “That’s nothing. Thanks for getting our hopes up. Wait, can we get cutie marks for being cute?”

Connor’s face twisted in confusion. “I’m sorry, but what's a ‘cutie mark’?”

“You don’t know what a cutie mark is??” Scootaloo gasped as if she was offended by his stupidity. “Where have you been lately?"

The other two fillies glared at her. Realizing her mistake, the orange pegasus smiled sheepishly.

“I believe what Scootaloo is trying to say is that a cutie mark is an emblem everypony gets when he or she discovers his or her talent or something that solely represents him or her,” the little unicorn said knowledgeably as if she were in school.

“Most ponies our age earn it, but…” the yellow filly gestured to her flank. “...We still haven’t earned ours yet.”

“Wait,” Connor turned to Rarity. “So the tattoo on your rear is a…'cutie mark'?"

“Yes, indeed!” She turned her flank at an angle for everypony to see. “Everypony gets one. I got mine after discovering my talent in giving things pizazz! But, what on earth, darling, is a ‘tattoo’?”

“In my world, it’s an image we imprint on our bodies... permanently.”

The human sensed a negative vibe and turned to the three young fillies, who had sly smiles on their faces.

“Annnnd!” he said loudly, gaining the fillies’ attention. “Did I mention that it hurts like hell just getting one? A small one for that matter?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Pfft! Hurt, shmurt! We can handle it!”

“Oh, really? Tell me, girls, have you guys ever gotten a shot from the doctor?”

Sweetie Belle’s eye’s shot open as she answered. “Oh! I have! So did Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. I hate that! It hurts so much!”

“Okay, now imagine the doctor giving you more than one shot… Repeatedly…. Really fast, nonstop… On the same spot... Poking and pricking, poking and pricking... And the needle is covered with black ink… Who knows if the tattoo artist remembered to replace the needle or not?”

The three fillies’ faces flushed in horror. Rarity shuddered in disgust. “Eeeeeww! A dirty needle?? Ugh, no tattoos for me, thank you very much! I’m perfectly thankful for my current image.”

“Onnnnnn second thought,” Scootaloo chuckled nervously. “I think I’d rather get my cutie mark without getting pricked by a needle over a thousand times.”

“That’s a great safe idea!” Sweetie Belle chirped.

“Ah couldn’t agree more,” Apple Bloom nodded.

Connor smiled, sighing in relief.

“Hey, uhhh... I never got your names.”

“I’m Scootaloo!” said the orange pegasus.

“I’m Sweetie Belle!” squeaked the little unicorn.

“Ah’m Apple Bloom!” said the bow-wearing, yellow earth pony. "But, we are known as..."

“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” they chanted in unison.

“We work together to earn our cutie marks,” the little, white unicorn said.

“Sounds like... hard work,” the human expressed concern.

“It is!” grumped the pegasus. “Especially after you’ve tried to do it so many times. It’s so frustrating.”

“Oh, man.”

“I know! It stinks.”

“Oh, Rarity! I almost forgot!" Sweetie said, tugging her sister’s tail. "Do want to play dress up with us? We’re hoping we could get your opinion on how to look good so we could get our cutie marks in being models.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted once again in unison. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SUPERMODELS! YAY!”

“Sorry, Sweetie Belle," Rarity shook her head. "I have to complete an order for a very important client.”

“That’s what you said last time, Rarity! C’mon! Pleeeeeeeease?”

“Sweetie Belle, this order is so big and important, that it takes me more than a day to finish. The answer is ‘no’.”

“Awwww…” Sweetie Belle pouted. “C’mon, guys, my sister is too busy to help us with our cutie marks.”

They all hung their heads and walked slowly out of the room. However, before they left the room, they all turned to Rarity's guest and waved.

“See ya, Connor!”

“Later,” the human waved back.

They whispered among themselves as they left.

“Hehe, he called us ‘cuties’! That was very nice of him!”

Thank God that was over. So far, Connor was feeling optimistic about his luck in making friends. If he continued to keep it up, he would be friends with every pony in short time. Who would have thought making friends with ponies would be as easy as breathing? He walked up to the window to look outside. Ponies were walking in the streets as if they were having a normal and unexciting day, but something was odd about them. Either it was the dark messing with his vision, or he swore he saw ponies giving Rarity’s house pessimistic looks and talking to each other in a secretive manner.

What the hell was with those ponies? Whatever the reason, he knew he still had work to do. How he hated work.



To be continued…

Next Chapter: Chapter V- New Kid in Town Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 47 Minutes
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