It was no good. Even with the pillow bound tight around his head and his claws pressing the soft material into his ears, Spike could still hear it. His eyes followed a fly crawling across the ceiling. Closing his eyes was useless. The rhythmic thumping from the room next door drilled straight into his brain and kept him awake.

Spike knew what was going on over there. He knew he could stop it in the morning. All it would take would be six words. “You know, I can hear you.” That would be the end of it. Twilight would turn pink and probably not speak to him for a month out of embarrassment. He was half tempted to do just that.

Spike sighed. It might be kind of funny and it would definitely help him get more sleep, but it wouldn’t really solve any of his problems. His social life was already on the rocks without embarrassing Twilight into silence.

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had that weird three way thing going on, so they were usually busy with each other. Rarity had broken his heart by deciding to date Fluttershy after she had gotten up the nerve to ask, and now Cheerilee and Twilight were next door studying. Spike wasn’t fooled.

To top it all off, not only could he not hang out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were going through a boys are icky phase, but he’d also found out, during his last visit to Canterlot, that Moondancer and Twinkleshine had hooked up. Sometimes, he wished he’d stayed with the dragons.

Spike pulled the pillow off of his skull and turned his head toward the bedside table. Spitting a tongue of green flame, he lit the candles before sitting up and sliding off the bed. The squeak of bedsprings and thump of the headboard against the treehouse wall grew louder when he opened the door to his room.

Owlowiscious was not on his perch, but Spike paid it no mind. His goal was the kitchen. His claws clacked against the tile floor, unconsciously in time with all the lovely background noise, as he made his way to the icebox. A carton of double chocolate swirl awaited his claw.

The silverware drawer squeaked just like it always did as he opened it up. None of the little noises he was making caused any sort of break or pause in the rampant noise pollution. Spike wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or not.

A ray of moonlight glinted in through the kitchen window as the drawer creaked to a stop. Gleaming brightly in the soft white light, was she. Nestled in among her less endowed sisters, she was positively radiant. The only one to truly understand Spike anymore. His favorite ice cream spoon.

Gingerly, he put his claws around her and lifted her high. The silver crescent of the moon shone across her face, lighting it up in a smile. Spike smiled back. For a moment they did nothing but stare at one another lovingly. Spike’s stomach growled.

It was lucky that Spike’s feet knew the way back to his bedroom. His eyes would not leave her. His heart leapt every time she would catch a tiny gleam of light in the dark hallway. She was so radiant when she played hard to get.

Shutting his door again muffled the sounds of carnality from the master bedroom, but he didn’t care any longer. He was with his own love now, alone together in the dead of night.

Condensation dripped down the side of the cold container as he cracked it open. The bed sheets wicked the water away and created a large damp spot, but that was the least of Spike’s concerns. Slowly, ever so slowly, she cut the surface of the ice cream. He loved it when she got dirty.

Her face was coated in double chocolate swirl. She was even more beautiful like this. Gingerly, his long tongue flicked out. He tickled her gently. First with the left fork, then with the right, then both. He knew how much she loved it when he traced patterns on her.

His tongue wrapped around her neck in a loving embrace. Together with his claws, he pulled her into his mouth. He would ravish her now. He moaned. Double chocolate swirl was her favorite. It made her so much more passionate.

She left his mouth, clean and sparkling again. She caught a flicker of red from the candle, blushing. There was nothing she hadn’t shared with him, but she still blushed for him every time. His heart soared.

Over and over she dipped into the slowly descending ice cream as the sounds from the other room reached a fevered crescendo. Spike moaned as well as she caressed his tongue and slithered past the roof of his mouth.

The moment he dreaded drew near. One final blob of ice cream remained. She dived and picked it up. It was runny by now. Little rivulets of chocolate, vanilla, and more chocolate dripped down her face and neck. Spike shivered as one traced across his claw.

His tongue traced it from its end, up her body, across her face, licking her clean one final time. From the other room, dimly, he heard a final cry of passion. Cheerilee’s name screamed to the heavens, and all was silent again.

The carton gave a dull thunk as it fell to the floor. Spike curled up in his bed. His tail lay right in the cold circle of water, but he didn’t care. His stomach gave a little twitch, but still, he didn’t care.

In the morning, he would have to wash his sheets. In the morning, he would have to clean up the empty carton and some dried ice cream from the floor. In the morning, he would have to face Twilight and Cheerilee again. In the morning, he might even have a horrendous stomach ache.

He didn’t care. All of that was future Spike’s problem. Right now, he only cared about one thing. He had his spoon.