Chapter 1

You grimace as the single crystal shod hoof connects with your face. It was just after five in the evening on the day of the Grand Galloping Gala and trouble had already kicked off. It had began when Princess Celestia had offered her little sister, Luna, a drink to mark the start of the evening’s festivities. Luna, having not drank alcohol since before her banishment, picked up quite a taste for the sweet pink wine and had soon worked her way through the entire stock of it for the gala, fifty bottles littering the floor of the castle’s cellar. For any other being, this would have been a death sentence, however a mere inconvenience for a deity such as Luna or her sister Celestia - both of whom were almost painfully immortal.

When she had been found, the Princess had lost three of her antique crystal shoes, her hair was disheveled and her eyes didn’t entirely focus together. She had almost immediately started trying to flirt with your superior, who had accompanied you to try and get her back into her room without any of the earlier guests noticing, eventually pulling another guard, a pegasus sergeant, in to help after Luna had started becoming even more uncooperative. Together, the three of you had just about managed to carry the struggling alicorn until she had remembered about her magic; that was when things started getting difficult.

“Kid, grab the crown, it’s just by your hooves” the armoured earth pony next to you said. You snapped back into reality after the kick had left you seeing stars, bending over to pick up the blue crystal crown in your mouth, which had fallen and was spinning on the spot as your two companions fought to move the struggling, and now singing, Luna down the corridor approaching her chambers.

“Now Ma’am, please give me my sword back! I need that!” The Captain said again, his voice moving through the amusement he had when the two of you first found her into the gruff aggravated voice of law enforcers everywhere when dealing with drunks. Through the mixed mess of guards and a certain intoxicated royal pony, you can see the sword being swung around drunkenly in the air by Luna’s magic.

“Coooome fly wit’ me, let’s fly, letsflyaway!” she bellowed merrily, the sword bobbing along like the cane of a conductor towards an invisible orchestra. The other guard with you and the captain, one of Celestia’s elite pegasus guards, took to his wings, grabbing the sword in his teeth and throwing it down the corridor with a flick of his neck.

“Nicely done.” You hear the captain growl, still pushing at the deep blue mare, who was now singing about going to the moon.

Slowly, you make progress to her royal bed chamber, the pegasus guard flying over the top of the two of you and Luna to throw open the doors.
“I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BEEEED!” Luna cries, realising where you were headed, “I want to party!”

“Ma’am, your sister has told us to put you to bed.” You say, trying to be the voice of reason, “You’re going to be really sick in the morning.”

“Hmph. Fine! But you’re all coming with me and I’m going to do things to every one of you!” She responds, looking at the three of you in turn, trying and failing to seductively lick her lips. She stops struggling, causing you and the captain to fall over, still trying to push at something that wasn’t there anymore. She looks back again and giggles, you hear the captain swearing under his breath as the two of you rise to all four hooves again.

“Celestia above, I thought Blueblood was a pain in the flank.” he mutters, ignoring the Royal's demand.

“Kid, the Cap and I need to get back to the party, we’re not even supposed to be on duty tonight.” the sergeant says, flapping his wings as he lands next to the door.

“BUT I HAVEN’T SAID YOU CAN LEEEEAVE!?” Luna bawls again, collapsing dramatically on her bed, throwing a drunken tantrum. The sergeant facehoofs and trots out of the room, the Captain pushing you out of the door with him.

“Look, you’re going to have to stay here and watch her. We’re a bit late, guests should start arriving any second now and we’re supposed to be in formal dress for it. You need to stay here. Whatever you do, don’t let her out of the room, or Celestia knows, I’ll have your backside in Duke’s office by sunrise tomorrow.” The Captain growls, intimidating you immensely, “And if that idiot nephew of hers shows up, he’s not to go in. The two of them don’t get on too well and to be honest, I can’t stand him either.”

“Aye, if he talks down to me this time, he’ll be feeling my hoof to the back of his head, I tell you.” The sergeant chimed in, “Nothing worse than an immodest nobleman.”

“I met him, he seemed alright.” You say, immediately receiving a look of utter disgust mixed with slight shock from your superiors. The Captain turns to the sergeant with a “go away” sort of look, to which the sergeant then rolls his eyes and trots off down the corridor. Seeing a slight rage rearing in the Captain’s eyes, you look straight down sheepishly, “Aye Sir, I won’t let her out.”. The Captain snorts with disdain, before snapping off a salute and cantering after the sergeant.

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