It took a while for it to stop, when I began to cry hiccups were to be had, and those were especially hard to get rid of once started. Eventually I regained composure, after I had cried my heart out over the long since dead. In a way, I was also letting out a large amount of pent up grief and mourning as my mind flashed through the deaths of those I knew as well. The last few messages left behind by the long since dead had been the proverbial straw that broke the back. And even the voices in my head left me to it for a while. I think I understood now why Grey would insist on getting a drink whenever he could. I don't think that pain would stop anytime soon.

We lived in a world that had suffered an apocalypse, the full ramifications so large that it was seen as an everyday thing. Like we knew it was there and it was wrong. We knew it was caused by the war, but never quite realized just how large and life effecting the war had been. Just the sheer amount of ponies, changelings, diamond dogs, and other races that had died in an instant because of a series of disagreements. Each loss of life being a thinking sentient being just as capable of thought as the other. Countless perspectives, ideals, hopes and dreams, private wishes, and lives wiped away from cruel indiscriminate weapons of mass destruction in an instant as if mere dust in the wind, leaving behind only sheer suffering for all those who came after.

Compared to that my own suffering was minor, a mere flake of dust compared to a grand hallway filled with it. Yet I was selfish, for all of it. I cried for myself just as much as I cried for the hopelessness of this reality. For my loss was family, the rest of the caste I had been made and grown with, culled one by one, each face cut down for imperfections. Cait and Grey, taken out by Bulldozer and changelings from my stable respectively. Even Trix-E was sorely missed, the robot had a personality that was absolutely precious before she had sacrificed herself to save my life. Needless to say I bet there countless others in the wasteland who had suffered such similar losses and for them I had wept also. I had wept till tears no longer crawled down my face, and the scarf around my nose was wet. Snot was wiped and hiccups abound until I was unsure of how much time was passed. I considered it a miracle that the beast that stalked the floors above didn't hear me, but I supposed that even that ghoul had its limits on being spooky death machine.

When I finally regained the willpower to move on, the files were well and downloaded into my pipbuck. From there it was a simpler task to get out. Crawling back through the way I came I no longer had to sneak around the turrets due to the employee ID card. Though that left the brute, whom I lured away by throwing the same pistol that had once kept the door from shutting down at the ice block that I just had to crawl through moments earlier. Sure enough the burly beast went charging for it, and I took a shortcut through its nesting room as it bounded for the stairs and bypassed him altogether as he began to smash at the thick ice again, shattering large swaths of it with each swing.

Leaving was just an exercise of how fast I wanted to risk getting out. Moving slowly I made my way all the way out unmolested by the security turrets due to my the newly acquired ID card. As I exited, I winced at the bright light. Letting my eyes adjust before jumping off the ceiling and going at galloping speed away from the door in case the noise of landing on snow attracted the beast within. After a solid half a minute, and hiding around a corner, the lack of any giant ghoul trying to rip me a new behind meant the task had been a total success. Though to my own eyes the real failure was in the world. As I took a large look at my surroundings, I couldn't help but wonder now how it was supposed to look. Homes and buisnesses once thriving as a place of peace now buried as ruins of a pointless war, one that was pretty much just pettiness incarnate.

The puzzle had solved itself, Equestria had wanted the Crystal Empire to support it by providing materials and supplies into the war effort, trying to trick it even. The empire had backed down but the damage had already been caused, now worried about the perceived breach in neutrality the Zebra side of the war had sent its own army to claim the Empire, which resulted in turn with Equestria not wanting to leave a potential asset in the hooves of their enemy. Resulting in this three way war far outside of either of their borders. What was a haven for peace and neutrality became its own war zone, with the final straw having broken the Crystal heart, and by extension the heart of its people with the use of balefire as well as Megaspells. Turning a land protected by the love and happiness of its people into... A shambling wreck of what it once was. Ghouls and what few survivors slowly fighting for the remnants of its resources. As we flew back, I gingerly took out the shard of the Crystal heart, now heavier than ever in my possession as I rubbed a hoof over its marred, cracked surface. The slight shine and hum of something still there. The faint hope of a distant people locked underground, and I felt sick with myself for it. But what could I do? A burning question lit itself to which no answer could be found and even the voice that haunted my head left me to my own rumination.

Silver was mostly silent on the return, I had shared with her the copy of the information I had and she seemed mostly non-plussed about it, and why wouldn't she? Her life had been this eternal hell. She couldn't dive into the memory orbs and see what Equestria and the Crystal Empire, this was the life she had lived her entire existence. As far as she was concerned, there was no better that wasn't built by her own tribes hand. I had to drag my aching heart back to its cage, going so far to bite the side of my lip on the way back not to repeat the breakdown back in that miserable place. In a way I was both glad and mad at myself for being able to do so by the time we returned.

When we returned to the den, there were sparse few words exchanged, Rinotto had talked in a hush tone with me as I gave him his copy of the bunkers files, and seeing my face he must of read me like an open book. A claw had ruffeled my mane beneath the winter coat hood as his own tired gentle smile told me he both understood, as well as to rejoin my friends and rest. I had given my curt nod, a small bow of my head in respect to the elder who had chosen to remain here when he and his tribe could of long ago moved to far warmer and more bountiful pastures. He said he was going to share the news later on in the night after reviewing it himself, and I numbly nodded along, not following his plans as my own fatigue was catching up with me, near dozing off at this point.

Silver lead me with a gentle clawed hand to my back, over to a small door in their underground shelter, a nicer one, which gave way from cold stone tunnel to a warmer atmosphere inside. Shutting the door behind me Silver left and I stared around momentarily finding a place to put my winter supplies and strip off just about everything I had been wearing aside from the form fitting Bodysuit that Cait had once taken me to get, and Cloak which remained strapped to my side by its sheath. No soon had I stripped did a bounding form knock me off my hooves and topple me over and out of my daze.

Scrapyard had waited enough as it seemed, and with a tired, worn grin I gave the friendly wolf a ruffle of his own fur, "Hi there Scrap." To which the wolf in turn responded by covering me in his signature licking to the face. His breathe stunk, I noticed. Probably from all the ghouls and animals he both killed and ate. I made note to give Scrap a rad away as well as something less... Horrendous, to balance out his breathe and diet, but my own minor musings just left me drifting back into the daze before the Timber wolf was called off by Pumpkin, as a third presence also made itself known.

Knocked over as I was, the helping mechanical tentacle had grabbed me by the back of my suits neck and pulled me back up to my hooves, Maul making himself known, "How was your hunt?" He was curt, like always.

"Well... For once I didn't set off the security system on myself for once. Or attract a mega strong monster to beat me half an inch into next week again." I joked softly, and Maul paused.

"You've been crying." He stated.

"I..." I paused, I tried to think of a response, a way to deny it but what would be the point? Instead I stuck to the truth, "Yes, I was. How could you-"

"The eyes, red and blood shot, you're sniffing and its not from being cold I'd bet unless you found a lake somewhere, in which case why aren't you wet then?" Maul rolled his head, as if to indicate the rolling of his eyes, his jaw slightly unhinging both out and back into place along the top of the roll from the underside of his helmet, "I do have eyes."

That got a chuckle and half sob out of me, a self wince inducing noise from how ugly it sounded, "Yeah, fair enough."

"Want to talk?" Maul asked, as he nodded to another door, and I paused. I did have questions, and wanted to vent to someone. Maul had, well he had lived before the war hadn't he? Maybe he'd be willing to share as well.

I nodded, and he made his way through into the room beyond, it was simply dressed as it was for guests. a Matress on the ground, I noted most likely due to the large weight of the power armor, though Maul deigned himself to use the floor, which was probably wise due to the amount of viscera that stained him even now after walking through all this snow. I also noted some of this viscera was coating half of his visor. More out of peace of mind, I turned around, and left to bring back a few bundles of cloth and a spare box of cleaning supplies I normally kept for armor and weapon maintenance. As well as a spare jug of the oils that Winter had provided for proofing weapons against the wear and tear of colder climates, "May I?"

Maul gave a slight tilt of his head before nodding, as I saw his tendrils withdrew into the circular disks along his back. I closed the distance as well, sitting back onto my haunches as I dabbed a cloth with cleaning supplies that was likely almost as old as Maul was, give or take twenty to thirty years. At first, I was silent, as I started with his visor, rag in hoof as I slowly cleaned up the grime and dirt around it. As the filth began to consume my first spare rag, I began to talk.

And talk...

And talk.

All the while, Maul just listened, as I poured a near incoherent string of sentences at him, a build up since we had last met before the Crystal Empire. The events that had happened in Vanhoover, The Big Grin, that terrible border outpost, and the deaths that followed. All in between the scattered voice was my pity and sympathies towards the ruins of it all. The lack of that once green future that had existed almost like a myth or dream in this age. How it was to witness even the slighest sliver of Sombras view of the Crystal Empire. Young and fear free. Surprise and Rose Luck's conversations. Just everything. When I was done, I had cleaned up not just his visor, but all of his joints and moving pieces as well as oiled them properly for the climate. I was halfway polishing clean his helmet with my twelfth rag made from a rapidly disintegrating suit of clothes before he leaned away from my touch to look directly at me, "Sometimes I forget that you are merely a child. I had heard about your age from Cait and Grey but your worries, and grief for others is... Far more genuine than most I hear from most these days or during the war."

He paused in his movements, and reached a hoof up to stop mine, as he slowly extended one of his mechanical tentacles, the device pausing at the brim of the underside of his helmet, before latching on and slowly tugging it loose. The smell reminded me of old fish, sweat, and iron. My mind momentarily freezing I took in his features.

Mauls face was mutated beyond recognition. In place of the equine face his resembled more to the shape of the helmet he wore, like it was bloated to fit within the contours just perfectly. His eyes had grown narrower and wider to contour to the helmets visor. What was more unsettling than that was his jaw, which resembled a trouts, only with teeth serrated and in several places resting in holes around the edges of his blood soaked lips. Fur was long gone for barren wrinkled skin of a ghoul, and as he drew out a breath, I noted his nose was completely gone leaving a stumped hole in its place. Nothing remained of his mane, leaving a shaven appearance and the faded remains of what seemed to be a store barcode to his forehead. Dr.Delicious's work evident to all the world to see. His eyes were a startling light blue despite this. Piercing and contemplative, and his mouth moved smoothly despite its distortion. Scars visible from the inside of his mouth of where the surgery occurred to remove and replace his jaw,

"My name during the Prewar era and before I became this was Featherweight. I was a scrawny little thing, Peagsus too. When the resource wars began, I was but a novice journalist and news reporter chasing scoops to fill the papers and acting as professional photographer in Ponyville. Things were peaceful, ponies were happy and then supplies began to run short across the world." Maul paused, and I realized I had been holding my breathe, both of us taking a brief breathe before Maul continued on, "The Zebrican empire was running low on Coal, and was unwilling to share its dwindling supplies to Equestria in exchange for the usual agreement of gemstones. The details speak to itself of how that started the war as you will no doubt find out over and over again in your life, but at the time I was a naive little stallion with national spirit who had grown up in the same town as those who would later on become the heads of the Mares of the Ministries. With heroic action as a preludes in my younger years I had changed focus to reporting how we were faring against the later on named 'Zebra Menace'." There was a dry laugh, something quite terrifying to anyone other than myself I imagined, the way his jaw moved was... unsettling in the motion but I had witnessed Maul, or Featherweight as it were in the height of his fury. As well as many other terrors since now. How unsettling that was it was to be normal to me.

"Then a disaster struck, Lunas new school of foals and fillies who wanted to learn magic was struck with a prototype version of a zebra weapon of mass destruction, causing the deaths of hundred and national rage and industry spiked. I put down my camera to apply, but due to my history of medical conditions, hollow bones, among half a dozen other things I was denied entry in my home town at the time. So I went to another town, and then another, and another. I must have visited most of the cities in Equestria before I was found, by Dr.Delicious none the less in Vanhoover. He was seeking a Pegasus, and I happened to match the profile of what he needed, an experiment to see if he could create a super soldier capable of driving the menace back. All it would cost me is a pair of wings, so he would say..."

He trailed off and the implication was clear in his eyes, if not his body language, And see where that got me? the unspoken rhetoric displayed itself, and he trailed off, a combat tentacle of his, momentarily entering my vision with a clean cloth clenched in it, and wiping at my face, to which I closed and tilted my head back away from it momentarily in surprise before he dabbed it at my own tears. I hadn't realized I had begun crying again. Goddesses what a cry baby I was being today. Maul quietly resumed his story, "You know the rest, bombs fell, got stuck in a ruin for near two hundred some odd years, feeding off mutant roaches and the occasional ghoul or raider that came down here unable to find an exit and unwilling to leave Dr.Delicious alive and breathing then a small miracle happened."

He paused, as if waiting for a question, his face momentarily winking at me, before growing mildly annoyed that I didn't catch the memo he was trying to give me, He rolled his eyes this time, an odd potion that made a rectangle than a circle due to his face, and prodded me with a hoof, "You sunshine."

"Me?" I paused in disbelief, startled.

His head tilted in his own incredulous look, which looked more like a perplexed fish, "Yes, you. An eternity of filth, grease, death and decay and you drove me out of my Squalor, threw me through my crucible and made life living again. Adrenaline, justice, hope, and heroism. A little Vengeance at the start, sure, but I saw the wasteland as what it was, Sick. Needing the rotting tissue to be cut out and replaced with a civilized people. Eyes opened to the world and what I needed to do. So I did the one thing I was now good at, No longer could I live in self agony and let the world revolve around me while I turned to damn mulch. So I began to hunt, and hunt. And hunt. You showed me kindness could still be present even after I had given you no reason to so much as lift a hoof. I almost killed you, and what did you do? Did you go for revenge? No, you healed an injury and told me where I could find my captors."

His hoof pressed into my rib cage, and stayed there, "You, did that."

I sat there silently, for a bit, as the one I known as Maul laid out to me what I had done so far. Back in the order I had told him. Saved Maul, saved slaves, saved ponies. Eliminated menace after menace in the wasteland, clearing it out alongside a band of friends. Restored the sanity of the few members who could still see reason within the Big Grin, and cleared out the dead, brainless suffering within. All the while striking down horror upon horror. He spoke of it like an accomplishment, a series of trophies to what I had just registered as common sense and determination to survive against the harsh environment. I could barely voice an objection after Maul was done with his own tirade.

"But... Cait, Grey... Trix-E..." I murmured softly, and Maul sat up, dragging me to him and wrapping me in a hug, an odd gesture for a stallion in armor that could easily squash me like a bug, but it was oddly comforting.

"Everyone dies Aria, no matter who they are. At some point we all cease to be, just some live longer than others. The important part is to live as best as one can. Honor their sacrifices by living as best you can."

I sobbed. This time uncontrolled and not muted as the facility, it was an ugly thing, and Maul patted me on the back. I cried not for Equestria, this time, not for the empire and its ruins, but for myself and for my friends. I wasn't aware at some point when I passed out, but only as if a tremendous weight had passed from my chest and shoulders once again, as stress and tension flooded out. No one to hide from, nothing to hold back. As a stallion more than twenty times my age held me, slowly stroking a heavy hoof along the back of my mane. Until I eventually lost consciousness.

In the end though, the pain dulled. Less a jagged edge of glass in my soul, and more a dull throb. It felt so selfish, to vent and cry like this. But for once, I let myself be selfish, and it was... Good.

Xp Footnote: 35% Until level up.

Companion Note: You have reached Max Affinity with Featherweight/Maul.

Companion Perk Gained: Captain Equestria: While you remain Friends with Featherweight/Maul, you gain a resistance to horror and Fear status effects equal to Mauls Level. In addition, this companion deals 20% more damage and takes 20% less damage while he is in your party. This effect is permanent regardless of distance and current companions.